I feel guilt at the thought of a woman liking me.Like, her being attracted to my ugliness is a sin on my part. I guess because I feel like the only reason a woman would be "attracted" to me is because shes actually just desperate for companionship. And were I to indulge her, it would be me keeping her from what she actually wants.
It's egocentric to think you know what someone wants or deserves, if someone likes you, you shouldn't dismiss her feelings or feel guilty at all. It means there's something likeable about you, even if you can't see it :)
>>32591660I guess what made me think this way is last time I "dated"(and I use that term loosely because it was purely online with a girl i met off 4chan) she mentioned this ex she had a lot and how much pressure she was feeling to get married. Made me feel like she was just looking for any guy to marry and I just happened to catch her attention
>>32591702You'll find someone better, but first you need to stop thinking you're the last option everytime someone feels attracted to you. This girl doesn't determine your value as a man or your future relationships.
>>32591607Such is the life of an avoidant. You attract all the bitches this way. Not to be confused for inceldom. Those guys ain’t avoidant, they’re clingy and needy. Avoidants like you are the type of ‘loser’ that women fucking love. All dark and mysterious and not wanting their affection at all, like sasuke or shadow the hedgehog or some shit. Really gets them panties wet for some reason.Too bad all of them are psychotic tho. Girls who chase avoidants around are fucking nuts. >I feel like the only reason a woman would be "attracted" to me is because shes actually just desperate for companionship.Maybe. A lot of them just want to conquer you, to see if they can bag a damaged antisocial avoidant type. Maybe even ‘fix’ you. You’re the male equivelant of gothgirl for femoids, you drive em nuts.
I felt this way about a girl at work a few months ago. She was dating some guy who she said she didnt really like, and flirting with me at the same time. She told me a bit about him and I thought he sounded like a better match for her so I backed off, and just hoped and prayed that she would cone into work one day and tell me they broke up. Now she says she loves him, and every single day I regret not just going for it when I had the chance. Worse comes to worst I would have gone on an awkward date, and could at least have closure. Now I have no idea what would have happened, and I am filled with remorse and despair every time I see her. Maybe we would have gotten married, or just had some fun for a couple weeks, but now I'll probably never know.A lot of people told me don't shit where you eat, don't date an older woman with baggage, and don't date someone who's taken. All sound advice, but if I could go back in time, and do it over, I'd throw caution yo the wind, and risk everything even if it meant I could go on one date with her.Life's too short to waste in fear and worry. Take chances and be bold my friend.
>>32591748I'm not outwardly gloomy like this. Most of the time I'm trying to be positive and inspire others
>>32591885Yeah, of course. Avoidants usually mask their avoidancy. It’s only until people get up close do they see past the agreeable mask and then you get all emotionally distant lol.
>>32591885>>32591894Oh shit forgot to add my advice. Just paying respec from one avoidant to another. I share/shared your dilemma for a long stretch of life. Late teens throughout all the twenties.It’s cause you hide your ugliness on the inside, and you project a phantom of (you) to deal with people, typically an agreeable persona. You do this to make sure no one can find fault, no confrontation, no reasons for people to come closer, in a way it’s a trick to get people to stay away, not too far but not too close. Appease them just enough to get them to go away at best, or at least, to not get in your face.So if they somehow come closer, they’re about to find out the big bad ugly truth, right? Guilt and shame and dread mounts, you feel like a liar, an impostor, you doubt your value, you doubt their intentions, you squirm and then you either go emotionally distant and double the thickness of that agreeable act, or you ghost, or sabotage your own opportunity. Been there, done it all. What you do is show the ugliness on purpose, that’s all. Turn yourself inside out. Job done. Dwell on what that means and let your imagination take the reigns.
>>32591914I should clarify that I don't mean an abstract inner ugliness. I mean, I'm balding with crooked teeth and glasses ugliness. I feel guilt at the thought that a woman would be interested in me when she should be interested in a beautiful person
>>32591975Oh okay. Yeah women don’t give a fuck. My hairline is receded, my teeth are a bit jank as well, I wear glasses too. I hit pipe just fine, had a good few girlfriends and am married. Seriously women dont care. Women arent as visual-centered in their interests as you think. Thats us men who do that. We’re the ones looking for the pretty pretties mostly. So what you’re doing rn is assuming women looking at you the same way you look at women. Doesnt work that way.Just dress well, have hygiene, be a man of your word, mean what you say and say what you mean, throw in a pinch of humor or at least some thoughtfulness and you’re good.
>>32591975NTA. And I kinda know how you feel. But rememer anon, women are NOT like men. We men are interested in women primarily due to the way they look. We're independent and can get our own resources, meaning we don't tend to look for women who have resources or are interesting, we just operate on a "muh dick" basis. On the other hand, women (at least from an evolutionary perspective) look for men with resources. They don't just look for looks, they also look for personality, character, intelligence, inner strength. Women also familiarize themselves with men. If a woman gets to deeply know you, she'll love you and pair bond with you in such a way where you're her #1. The whole looks craze is more of a modern day psyop. You're comparing yourself to Chads, and she's probably self conscious of Stacys too
>>32591993This anon is a knower. If only the retards at R9k could know this
>>32591993its not just about how women feel, even though I don't understand how they could just not care at all for physical appearance.I mean I feel the guilt for keeping them from being with a beautiful person, because im ugly, even if they like me
>>32591607MI've unfortunately internalized the whole "pink pill" most men deserve to be single idea.
>>32592661Judging by the replies in this thread you’re right
>>32593263what makes you say that?
