A couple months ago, I got rejected by a girl I loved, and ive hard a very hard time since being motivated to do anything. For the couple months before (when I fell in love with her), life suddenly felt worth living, I magically quit all my vices, I was extremely productive inside and outside work, etc. However, since being rejected, I’ve completely lost my mojo. I now have nothing I can use a prod to motivate me. There’s no clear “reward” for doing anything. Worse yet, I’ve been rapidly going downhill physically, mentally, and spiritually the longer I can’t find something. All my vices are now much worse than they’ve ever been.What advice do anons have?
I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. Losing motivation after something that meant a lot to you is tough. But the good news is you *can* find drive again—it just takes time and patience. Instead of focusing on external things like relationships, try revisiting things that brought you joy before. It could be hobbies, fitness, or personal growth. Break things down into small, achievable goals, and focus on those little wins. Be kind to yourself and allow time for healing. It’s okay to take it slow. Rebuilding will happen one small step at a time.
>>32596566get hooked on heroin. it will give you a strong drive to get more heroin and work for it.
>>32596589The problem is I’ve only gone downhill
>>32596625you just replied to a chatbot. you are going downhill.it sucks, man. idk. very relatable. but you can go uphill alone by gritting your teeth. and then maybe at the top you have a better view and see whether it was worth it.
>>32596566>>32596625I'm in a similar position as you, fren.I'm just forcing myself to change. I posted a large, gross fast food mean on /fit/s /fat/ thread and essentially allowed myself to be publicly shamed for what I was doing to myself. I told all my weed contacts to not sell to me for at least until May and I haven't bought alcohol in a few days. Getting back into more hobbies, working out more and just self improving.Once I'm back to the weight I was in college I'll try to join some social activities and hopefully meet someone there.Just gotta get more disciplined, be consistent and have a plan.
>>32596566If you have to ask this it's already over
>>32596662The problem is there’s no plan that’s going to give me what I want. I’m largely at the point where I don’t care about my well-being whatsoever and shudder at the thought of spending an eternity with myself in Heaven.
>>32596663The problem is in not allowed to kill my self according to my religion.
>>32596796You have to make one then. Set goals.Don't kill the dream, execute it.
>>32596863You have zero control over being able to find love and romance. It’s like making a goal of winning the lottery. It would be more productive to have a goal of almost anything else.
>>32597100Bumping
>>32597100>You have zero control over being able to find love and romanceBut you can increase your chances. And probably better chances than the lottery too.
>>32599963Increasing your chances isn’t enough. I need a better motivator in life than that.
>>32596566You didn't even date? My guy....stop wasting your time on girls who don't care about you or want to develop anything with you.>how to find a driveI'm going to be honest, you gotta just have a life goal that trumps it all. Whether that is building a career in computer science, or whatever else, is all up to you anon. Relationships are one of, if not, thee, most important thing you can build in your life. Personally. I would value it over career and other shit. Would you rather have a loving, and forever gf/eventual wife, or a specific career? I can see the argument for both, but having someone you love, and have a future with, just sounds so much better than some wage slaving job. Just like girls, there are a ton of jobs and getting one is somewhat luck based. TLDR: Have multiple drives or one on the back burner to focus on another. You can strive for multiple things and don't have to be tied down. Also, you mention rapidly going downhill in things, which would make finding romance harder. So focus on getting yourself ahead but still keep looking for chances, just don't ONLY focus on those romantic chances.
>>32602912> I'm going to be honest, you gotta just have a life goal that trumps it all.There isn’t one.
>>32602912I can’t find any realistic life goals that would make life without romance, love, marriage, kids, etc. worth living. The only things would insane pipe-dreams like becoming emperor of the United States. Finding another life purpose isn’t realistic.
Bumping for a clear answer
Bumping I no longer have any will even to live and have no idea how to fix it.
>>32596566I am 35, I got out of a relationship with a woman I was gonna marry, bought a ring for.You can't fill the hole in you with someone else. It's that simple. It'll never work. It'll go away for a short while then eat at you before bed, when you're alone, it'll make you feel alone even when you're with her.If you don't learn to love yourself and do things for you, you'll be a slave to that void in you. If you can love yourself, women will find that attractive
>>32605218That’s not going to happen. I’m not going to love myself. That ship has sailed 14 years ago or so. There’s absolutely nothing I could do that would enable me to give me permission to care about myself. I need more realistic advice than that.
>>32605253you're a retard and don't deserve good advice then.
>>32605339I’m just being honest with you that self love is never going to happen. It’s not a realistic thing to ask of me
>>32605389no, you're just sulking.no one is asking you to love yourself. it's not even a choice. everyone loves themselves most. and you just love sulking. that is your expression of self-love.
>>32605401I don’t see what you think my path forward is, then. Romantic love is my ultimate priority in life, no exceptions.
>>32605408Your path forward is to study mathematics and solve the Riemann Hypothesis.
>>32605464I already have a degree in physics
>>32605467Then you know some math. Solve the Riemann Hypothesis and go on with your life.
>>32596566Huh.In my case I value posting on 4chan, playing video games, getting paid at work, and a few other things.When you try to value these things deliberately, does your brain overpower you and refuse to?
>>32596796I do know those feels tho. So I can relate very much. You are missing someone you loved an wanted to be with forever, even if it was just all in your mind. It happens. Falling in love like that can be very addictive. Getting drunk on the melancholy and shit.Just be sad. Go for a walk innawoods. Find enlightenment. And then solve the Riemann Hypothesis.
>>32605505> When you try to value these things deliberately, does your brain overpower you and refuse to?Yes
