Arrested development, I'm 34 and still living at home, I feel like I haven't really got the chance to grow and develop as I should. It's like I stopped growing at 18, how can I get over the feeling of being a fucking whiny stunted manchild?
First off, you're not alone in feeling this way, and being self-aware is the first step to making changes. It's natural to face struggles in your 30s, especially if you feel like you've missed out on certain milestones. The key is to start small. Focus on setting realistic goals for yourself, whether it's personal growth, finding independence, or building new habits. Think of this period as a chance to create your own path forward. It might take time, but acknowledging where you are and taking steps to move forward—like finding a new routine, working on your emotional maturity, or challenging yourself outside of your comfort zone—can help you break free from that stuck feeling. Be kind to yourself and remember growth isn’t linear. You can still develop at any age.
>>32597986I feel also, more effeminate than other men. I have no idea why other than that I was around my mother a lot. My dad was working or running the roads. And that ties in development
>>32598017put your bussy on the stroll and other men will give you a place to live. you got a mortgage between your cheeks
>>32598080Nah
>>32597983Just fucking leave nigga how is this complicated Take a flight to Alaska or NYC get some stupid fucking job
I'm same as you OP wish I knew an answer to tell you. Just live with my aging dad and his ever increasing neuroses. >>32598359Bit hard when average house price is 15x what I earn in a year and I'm on $38/hr. Rent? firstly no, not enabling ursury and secondly vacancy rate is <1%, there aren't places to rent. Only thing going for me is $130k in the bank...still single income lel no bank will lend me enough to buy in the city. Hanging out for that rural patch with a 2 bedroom shack I can buy outright...
>>32598359I can't, no car, no job, no money, no where to go
>>32597983>I'm 34 and still living at home, I feel like I haven't really got the chance to grow and develop as I should. It's like I stopped growing at 18, how can I get over the feeling of being a fucking whiny stunted manchild?>Posts Goku from DBZDid you even learn a thing from Duragonnu Borru Zeddo? Saiyans grow and develop strength AFTER getting their shit kicked in. That means they allow themselves to go out there and fail and get their shit knocked, so they can grow stronger.This is because the show is playing on a real phenomenon, a real principle, especially for us men. We grow from pain, we grow and mature from fucking around, fucking up, getting fucked up and then getting back up and doing it again. Each time stronger and wiser than before. You can’t do that in comfort. You can rest in comfort, but you can never grow there. You grow in discomfort.*This message was approved of by Vegeta, the Mighty Prince of the Ultimate Warrior Race.https://youtube.com/watch?v=Yv4vPDqoOmQ
>>32598529Yeah, it's not comfort though. I actually despise it and the person I've became. I had parents that were in the way a lot despite how much fucking off would have done for me. I don't feel like an adult, I never got to feel or call myself one.
>>32598568>Yeah, it's not comfort though. I actually despise it and the person I've became.You’ve yet to become a full person. That’s okay. It sucks it feels like shit and you feel like the ugliest creature for that. I know how it feels brother I do. Same shit happened to me and wasn’t until 30 I started to see change. I rotted my teens and 20’s away doing nothing.I went out there, by ‘there’ I mean I threw myself into shit I knew was way too big for me to handle. Relationships, renting, budgeting, going to places. All of it sucked, I felt insecure and weak and had no clue what the fuck I was doing and I pretended to ‘adult’ and look the part but inside I was still a scared shitless kid. That is actually okay bro. That is exactly what needs to happen, it needs to suck, it needs to be painful and uncomfortable, it needs to push the shit out of our comfort zones and damn near break us down. Then you choose it again and again.Now I don’t even recognise myself from my other way of life, which was no life. Now if I try to be NEET, it feels weird and foreign. Don’t count yourself out. Don’t lament over the fact you’re 34 and don’t shame yourself for not growing sooner. (I used to torture myself by counting all the years I wasted and told myself next year would be the same nothing shit).It turns out you can catch up, REAL quick. 20 years lost can be regained in 2. Don’t ask me how this works, it just does.This wont happen overnight, it takes a process. As long as you stick to the process, the outcome of growth becomes a guarantee. Find something you absolutely DO NOT want to do today, and go do it anyway. Could be a walk, could be housework, could be anything. Just one thing you can’t be assed to do. Go and force it. Understand it wont feel good during and won’t feel good immediately after. The point is make discomfort your ally.
>>32598631I wanted the pain, the discomfort, the failure. Life without it isn't life, and I didn't get to fuck up, learn and grow. If I fucked up even once, that was it.
>>32597983Move out? Meet more people?
>>32598778Yeah, but there's other shit that needs to be addressed
>>32598754>I wanted the pain, the discomfort, the failure. Life without it isn't life, and I didn't get to fuck up, learn and grow. If I fucked up even once, that was it.I know. I believe you too. Let me guess, dysfunctional parents? Never let you do much of anything? Punished you for trying?
>>32599114Spot on, ans if I fucked up once doing something that was it. No trying again
>>32599883Well it’s time to become your own parent brotha, that’s the meaning of adulthood. Parent yourself in a way you wished you had been parented.
>>32599900That's all I've wanted to be, a free adult. But I don't feel like one.
I don't want to admit, ships have sailed. A lot of them
>>32597983SameI've recently thrown in the towel and am going back to uni. Class starts tomorrow and I just feel so depressed. I feel where you are brother. Nobody hires without experience anymore and I can't get experience without them hiring me. If they don't hire me as a tutor at the school I guess I'm just debt maxxing and using student loans to make money thrifting and trading stocks. Or I'll piss it away on bad investments and it will be more of the same.
>>32602079It sucks trying to get yourself out of Abad situation and getting nowhere. And having to walk out into the world stunted and underdeveloped at 35 years old. I spent my youth trying to get away from my parents, not really enjoying it or living like I should have been
>>32598529unfathomably based advice
>>32597983I feel this way too desu
>>32598359Homes are out of reach for most people, dumbass nigga
