I live a very boring life and have no friends or anyone to talk to.I have depression which I take antidepressants and mood stabilizers for.I cope with this by spending money. Each time I hold a wad of cash, I immediately start thinking on what I can get with it.Physical stuff like paperback nonfiction books that I never read, subscriptions I never use, courses I never watch, etc.As a result, I am chronically broke. If I had saved money all this time I would've saved a considerable amount of money, but all I got is a two digit balance.Fortunately, I don't drink, take drugs, or smoke, but what is the use of that when I avoid these vices but do another (spending money?)I realized I need to immediately end this and start being responsible with my finances. How?
>>32603633>I realized I need to immediately end this and start being responsible with my finances. How?Stop being a child.
>>32603661>Stop being a child.Oh no, I couldn't have realized this without you stating it! Thank you very much :)))Tell me how.
>>32603668there's no secret here my guy you just exercise some self control don't fucking buy things. thats what he means by stop being a child. children have almost no self control, imagin if you handed a wad of cash to a 9yo and turned them loose in a toy store. your brain is operating exactly how that child's would every time you get payed because you lack the mental discipline (or capacity) to stop yourselfyour parents failed to teach you how to be disciplined and you have failed to or are incapable of teaching yourself discipline
>>32603697>your parents failed to teach you how to be disciplined and you have failed to or are incapable of teaching yourself disciplinemy father is a narcissistic, abusive cunt who prevented my mother from working and having a job so he can exert financial control on us.My father never sat me down and taught me stuff, he always told me to fuck off and figure things out myself.Even when I was bullied during my adolescence he would punish me for being bullied, all the while telling me to never fight back.My father also never allowed me to buy things, he wants me to live a minimalist existence, so my mother would always get me what I want secretly behind my father's back (she has a meagre source of income).Anyway, my mother is mentally unstable (her family is full of mentally unstable people with impulse control issues and are high school drop outs, etc.). She copes by shopping and hoarding things.I spend 80% of my day with her, and learned to mimic her shopping and hoarding habits.I am now in my mid 20s and I don't know how to break free of the toxic, dysfunctional dynamic I was raised in.
>>32603697also part of the problem is that humans are wired to get a dopamine kick from ACQUIRING resources not from HAVING resources so you get a feel good kick from getting the thing but it quickly fades and you need to get another thing for the sweet dopamine. essentially you are like a drug addict but instead of snorting lines to cover the inside boo boos you buy things to cover the inside boo boos
>>32603707yes, thats tragic and all but it doesn't really matter now does it? you're an adult and its YOUR problem and its YOUR responsibility now to fix it. by all means hate your shitbag parents but its still you that has to mop up the mess
You sound pretty young, this is an age thing. Around 30 the desire goes away. You can't take any of that stuff with you when you die, a lot of it is marketed and created to get you to part with your hard earned money. You likely have a lot of free resources like libraries and universities around you, get creative with how you can spend your time for free or next to free.
>>32603707>father is a narcissistic, abusive cunt who prevented my mother from working and having a job so he can exert financial control on us.>my mother is mentally unstable (her family is full of mentally unstable people with impulse control issues and are high school drop outssounds more like you're dad had to handle the financials because your mom would have led the family to financial ruin if he didn't. he might be an asshole but your mom was not a complete blameless victim here either
>>32603633ur depressed + trying to solve that with external sources of happiness. Only problem with that is that the latter don't actually solve the problem. Now, for me personally depression means asking yourself "why should I do X" all the time, like asking yourself why you should brush your teeth. In my experience only 2 things help with that1. being surrounded by people e.g. family/friends or even just colleagues2. switching your mindset from what I described earlier to asking yourself "why should I NOT do X". It is an extremely complex undertaking but you can turn your life around by consciously carrying out your will
