I watched this YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj5TScNXFxo and it shocked me because it brought to the front of my mind how my family isn't like this.My parents fight all the time, my siblings are emotionally cold and rarely contact me or my parents, my father hates my mother and always sits in his room and closes the door.My mother gets tired of me quick and tells me to "make it quick" when I talk with her (like, she's essentially prompting me to say what I want to say and fuck off).We never ever sat on a table together. When my mother and I are eating at the same time, she deliberately tells me to go and sit in my room and not sit with her.If I bring up this issue she will allow me to sit and eat with her but she'll do it out of a sense of obligation and her face expressions would be full of frustration.I thought that I can make up for having such a family by marrying a good girl and having kids of my own but I am a virgin to this day (in my mid 20s) and I never had real life male friends, let alone romantic relationships with women.I don't like calling myself an incel because I don't align with the incel culture but it is what it is.But then I might just perpetuate the same dynamic even if I get married and move out.I don't know how to deal with this. I've been lonely all my life.
>>32605429I mean your plan of starting a family sounds like a reasonable solution. The painis caused by wanting something and not working towards it, so either try the hardest you can, or let it go. Give finding a woman your all, or give it nothing, but don’t half-ass it. That is the worst path you could take.
