My gf of 3 years is in her early 20s getting, attending uni with intentions to pursue her master's and maybe a Phd. I am 31. When we started dating, she was very open about the idea of kids and expressed very vocally her breeding kink. It seemed like a sure thing and I was cool with that, aiming for us to start looking at having kids around when I'm 35.About half a year ago she suddenly had this moment of realizing she doesn't want kids. She's getting ahead in her academia and there's a lot of potential horizon out there for her. It's all very exciting and promising, and the idea of kids just seems less appealing. She said that in those early days, she was projecting who she thought she should be as a woman and as my girlfriend. As she finds her own identity in the work she's doing, she realized this has changed. She never saw herself capable of being a mother, and had no dreams of her own before we started dating. They are gradually coming into place. She now just longs to have the indulgences of wealth and comfort. She isn't sure now if she won't ever want kids, just that right now in her early 20s she wants to have a chance to live a life of her own. I'm entirely fine with that, but the real chance she won't give me children later on is now fucking with me pretty badly.I've gotten super close with her family and really do not want to leave. Please help bros, advice, tips, experience, share it all.
>>32605468>About half a year ago she suddenly had this moment of realizing she doesn't want kidsThen you realise it's dumping time
>>32605468>she was projecting who she thought she should be as a woman and as my girlfriend. As she finds her own identity in the work she's doing, she realized this has changedYeah welcome to women, their entire identity is like soft plastic, it bends and warps and changes on a whim. This is because they identify mostly with how they feel, and never how they think. If she had the capability of foresight, she would know that she is just as before, projecting a feeling of how she should be, yet again, only this time it’s for being a career girl. If you took her to a commune in the middle of the Chilean rainforest and showed her an epic time in the wilderness full of adventure, she’d do as women do, her identity would just shapeshift to match her surroundings. She would project the feeling she should be a tribal lady or some shit.This is why you need to LEAD. To take charge, to be the fuckin’ head of the outfit, as a man. This is what wisdom has told us for thousands of years, And yet only now in the past 50 years do we ignore the fuck out of this wisdom in favour of ideological bullshit. You need to tell her what you want, firm and clear. No ifs or buts or maybes. You tell her you want and expect a family, to be husband and wife, to have children. And you tell her she is free to walk that life with you. But you also tell her, bluntly, to her face, that if she chooses not to, then you and her are finished. Don’t make it a topic that is up for arguing, you leave it there and if she refuses, you break up. Maybe she’ll project the feeling she should be a mother when she gets old and infertile and watches all her female friends and tiktok influencers have a happy family life while she cannot due to menopause. That’s her fault at that point.
>>32605556>If she had the capability of foresight, she would know that she is just as before, projecting a feeling of how she should be, yet again, only this time it’s for being a career girl.That's a very insightful statement. I've heard it many times but the way her academia and environment is shaping her, that adds up. It's social grooming including from one of her professors who encouraged her to pursue a PhD. I spent my life believing in self-determism. Freedom. Agency. Yet my own dreams have suffered because of my own flexibility. Trying to accommodate others has only led to my own decline.
>>32605593>I've heard it many times but the way her academia and environment is shaping her, that adds up.Yep. Academia is a fucking joke now, for men and for women, What was once about teaching knowledge is now about interfering and influencing people to live a certain way. Rather than teaching students, they try to parent them. >encouraged her to pursue a PhDYeah, also encouraging her go pay more fees and spend more $$$. Academia is a business, not a school of thought.Anyway this is where you and her part. You cannot and should not try to talk her out of this. All you do is tell her that you’re headed out. What she does next will be her choice. If she sticks around, great. If not, that sucks.But what sucks more is a childless marriage. No memories made with offspring. No family vacations, no joyous christmases, no celebrating birthdays, of a child’s first steps, or first day at school. No nurturing and giving love to your own kids. No imparting wisdom to them. Just growing old and ‘indulgences of wealth and comfort’. Material lifeless soulless shit. Just a lot more of it. I’d take a hard pass on that. Much better to just find a woman who knows what real life meaning is all about and marry her instead.
>>32605691>But what sucks more is a childless marriage. No memories made with offspring. No family vacations, no joyous christmases, no celebrating birthdays, of a child’s first steps, or first day at school. No nurturing and giving love to your own kids. No imparting wisdom to them. Just growing old and ‘indulgences of wealth and comfort’. Material lifeless soulless shit. Just a lot more of it.See, this isn't so big of a problem for her because she has two siblings. She can get away with being auntie and be fine. I don't have that luxury. I'm literally the end of my bloodline unless I act.>I’d take a hard pass on that. Much better to just find a woman who knows what real life meaning is all about and marry her instead.That makes sense.
>>32605468>My gf of 3 years is in her early 20s>I am 31LARP. no actual 31 year old man would take an early 20s stated life plan as a serious thing they'll absolutely stick to. you are a young person pretending that thirty somethings take your beliefs seriously, when we don't any more than we believe an 8 year old is serious about being an astronaut
>>32605966It seemed like common sense for any person to want to eventually have kids. That's not a far reach.
>>32605468Good for her. Kids are a waste. No freedom when it comes to them.OP it sucks but if you want someone who is down with kids, you need to find someone else.
>>32605468>> 31>> kids at 35 Bro, you're getting too old for this shit. You don't have time to be fucking around with someone who isn't in the same stage of life as you. Let's say you wait until you're 35 to have kids. Even if you get a girl pregnant first go (unlikely), you'll be 36 when baby is born and 54 when baby turns 18. 50 fucking 4. You wait longer than that and you're going to be pushing 60 if not in your 60s when they turn 18. That's no life for your child and it's no life for you. How will you support an 18 year old at 60 while also preparing for retirement? Come on, use your head.Not to mention you're now 31, as of turning 31 the quality of your sperm has degraded and will degrade exponentially every year going forward. The risk of you making a downy or an autist is now increasing every year you wait. Do you want the burden of a downy or an autist to need to look after like a baby until the day you die? You needed to be married 3 years ago and looking for babies around now. What the fuck are you doing mate? Ditch this bitch, she's not going to have babies with you. She'll leave you soon anyway so just let her go make her mistakes and live her empty life uni convinced her she wanted. Find someone else who is closer to your age who wants marriage and babies with you on an accelerated timeline.
>>32606999Lmao
>>32605468>attending uni with intentions to pursue her master's and maybe a PhdVery masculine goals. Does she bring anything feminine to the table other than maybe her body? Sounds like a potential FtM.>I've gotten super close with her family and really do not want to leave."she" already left the chat, you're only deciding if you'll move on or not.
>>32605468You dug your own grave by dating someone so much younger than you. Of course she had no idea what she wanted to do with her life at the age of 20, no one does. Of course she was going to get some new ideas about that a few years later! There's literally nothing you can do. She very likely won't EVER want kids. So you just need to decide if that's something you can live with or not. If you can't, leave, and find someone else - preferably someone nearer your own age.
>>32607231Not him but this is silly, sperm barely degrades at all. And that’s more like 50s or 60s. And in many countries 35 is literally average age for a man to have kids. My dad’s 57 and he’s fitter than 95% of people my age and I know people who are perfectly healthy with a dad who had them at 50. The clock is ticking harder for women by far, and even they can often get away with late 30s to early 40s so idk what the hell you’re on
