How do I initiate conversations with people at a bar? I was just at one a few minutes ago (I went by myself), and there were a lot of people, but they were all just sitting around doing their own things (chatting, playing pool, etc.). It would've been rude to just walk up and start talking to them.If it matters, I'm male, late 20s. The bar I was at was in a college town, so most of the people there were a few years younger than me. But I'm very young looking, so I could easily pass as early 20s.
>>32605690Initiate them at the bar itself or go stand with the smokers
>>32605690>It would've been rude to just walk up and start talking to them.bars have greater latitude for mild rudeness and much lesser latitude for aggression (because people are drunk)if you try something too confidently and get laughed at you can just walk away and people won't care like if you were in the real world.
>>32605690Usually you're going in a group. If not, you engage with the social activities. Pool, darts etc.. and if you're a smoker you can go hang with the smokers or just go out "for some air". Little how's your night going inquiries etc.Some people are good conversation pushers. I'm guessing that isn't you. Youre pretty much at the mercy of waiting for someone like that if you have no common ground to start with.Common ground though can also include going ons at the bar. Was there a fight? Did someone get dragged out? Is someone being extra weird (hopefully not you). That's a conversation starter.Remember people do want to talk to you and br social. They like it. Most of them are like you even, dont know what to talk about, stick in their groups, want to feel likeable, would love a chance to chat with a likeable stranger. So you don't have to come out with masterful conversation. Just something people can reply to.
>>32605704>Initiate them at the bar itselfThat's where I was sitting, but all the other people there were talking with friends. I can't just butt in.>or go stand with the smokersI don't smoke. I feel like it'd be awkward to stand around with them without a cigarette in my hand.>>32605725>if you try something too confidently and get laughedI'm really worried about this. In today's world, if I did something stupid, I'd probably become Instagram famous overnight for it. But even if I didn't, I feel like I give off a "that weird guy" vibe, so people would be creeped out by me just randomly walking up to them. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I've been going to bars alone; not having any friends around you instantly makes you seem weirder.
>>32605758Everybody gives off a "that weird guy vibe" to someone, and it's amplified when you're nervous.You're not doomed to this.That used to be my biggest insecurity, because I was always sketched out looking cause I was so high strung and id overhear people like "that guys creeping me out" and shit.Still pulled together a life, all body count, friends, good jobs, and family now..Weird just means "I don't know what he's doing" and "uncomfortable" looks inherantly threatening. That's all they're picking up on. Because two types of people are "uncomfortable". Socially nervous people, and people who are about to commit a crime.They don't know which you are and human instinct is keen on this one.
if you are going at a slower time you should just talk to the bartender and someone else might join in the conversation if you are going at a busy time it's easy to talk to the people next to you about what's on the tvs
>>32605690>find an empty seat>ask the person sitting next to it if it's taken>sit down order a drink>make eye contact with people nearby>if someone makes eye contact back smile and if they're close enough ask how their day is goingor just sit like an autist silently while a female approaches you or initiates a conversation. has happened to me when nobody makes eye contact with me. don't be on your phone either as that will be a signal to others you don't want to socialize.
>>32605891>a female approaches youthis will literally never happen in a million years lmao
Listen and ask questions that elaborate on the answer.Just keep it flowing
I legimately have no idea how people have conversations with one another and form relationships. I don't understand social interaction. My anxiety is so high I can't even go to the grocery store by myself
Is it weird to be drinking a soda at a bar? In my experience, people seem to be naturally wary of guys who don't drink alcohol.
>>32605690Watch whatever is on the TV. React to it. Comment to the guy next to you.
>>32607553What if there's no TV?
