I finished high school right before covid hit, then stopped socializing with people. Basically just read books and wasted time online for the past 5 years. I had a friend I went hiking and fishing with but he moved away, and I didn't want to do that alone so I quit.Now I'm 24 years old, I'm an old man and a social retard. I started going to Catholic mass a month ago, never even been to a church before, and I've been enjoying it. They serve coffee afterwards for people to drink and talk to each other, which in theory is a perfect way to make some friends, I could just go up and introduce myself to somebody. But every time I'm about to do that, I get completely overwhelmed.When I'm not actually there it seems so easy, but when I'm about to put myself into a social situation all I can think about is "what if I look stupid, or nervous, or weird, or my hands are sweaty" and everything else, and I just can't do it. I keep trying to go but I get so anxious that I convince myself to leave every time. Even if I did go I'd probably look like I'm having a nervous breakdown. Then afterwards I feel like a fucking idiot because it's so simple. I've never been great at talking to people, I'm a bit autistic I think, but the past few years have totally fucked with me. I've become so self conscious and socially anxious that I can barely function. I might actually not be so bad, but if I was, nobody would even tell me, they'd just not want to talk to me. How do I cure this?
If you have the bug it only gets worse as you age. Seeing it now in my 30s. See it 10 fold in my father. I haven't responded to on of my best friends texts in almost 2 years (he's still trying).t. multi generational SAD lad
>>32606210True. I don't even know if my ability to connect with people was ever there in the first place. It does seem like it's getting much worse as I get oldert. 33 year old socially isolated virgin
>>32606210>fatherWell shit, if he got that far, I should be asking him not you.
>>32606199Your body generates anxiety for no damn reason in social situations:MedsYou keep doing ideas and mindsets that upset you:Stop and don'tThen you just practice being social until your feels quit nagging at you
>>32606243Not married but I am in a relationship, anon. It's just a terribly isolating one.Also, my mother is a saint for marrying a concrete wall.
>>32606251>MedsI've been on sertraline for years, according to google that treats social anxiety disorders. Clearly it isn't working. I'm getting off of that shit soon anyways.>You keep doing ideas and mindsets that upset you: Stop and don'tWhat?>practice being social until your feels quit nagging at youMy worry is that this church is the only way for me to socialize right now since I pretty much work alone, so I don't want to fuck up my first impression with everybody. That's probably making it worse actually, is that what you mean by mindsets?
>>32606264How did you get into a relationship with social anxiety? Were you actually diagnosed? I just don't get it
>>32606264>It's just a terribly isolating oneWhat do you mean?>my mother is a saint for marrying a concrete wallI don't think I'm boring, I just can't socialize with strangers
>>32606199more wives your grace?
>>32606300Yes I was diagnosed and in therapy. I met her on fb dating. She did all the work. >>32606311>What do you mean?The issues in our relationship are so debilitating that I am even more isolated from people than I was prior. I either have to cover for her (enabling) or my daily experience is so dysfunctional that I cannot relate to the few people that I was able to have some kind of relationship with.>I don't think I'm boring. I just can't socialize with strangers.Yeah, I don't think he's boring either. The thing is, as it progresses, it's no longer just strangers. You stop being able to socialize with everyone. Even your own spouse and children.
>>32606340Damn, that sounds horrible. I definitely don't have that. I'm fine with people I'm comfortable with, I just have a problem getting to that point.
>>32606199exposure therapy> "what if I look stupid, or nervous, or weird, or my hands are sweaty"You just do it anyway. You tank the fear and if you do it long enough it gets less scary. You starting realizing that not one really cares if you are nervous, sweating, face red, stumbling on words.
