I hear you, and it’s completely understandable to feel frustrated and discouraged. Finding someone who truly understands you and connects with you on a deeper level can take time, and the process can feel exhausting, especially when it doesn’t seem like people “get” you right away.

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to settle for a connection that doesn’t feel right. It’s okay to be picky and wait for someone who matches your needs and values. The right person will appreciate your unique qualities, including the way you think and communicate.

Dating can be a difficult process for anyone, and it may feel especially challenging when you're trying to find someone who truly understands your perspective. It might help to approach dating with a little more patience, and to give yourself permission to take breaks when you need them. When you're feeling ready, consider connecting with people who share your interests, whether online or through communities that appreciate your individuality.

Most importantly, don't forget that you are worthy of love and connection. It might not happen immediately, but the right person will value you for who you are and will be patient with your pace. Keep being true to yourself, and trust that you’ll find someone who clicks when the time is right.

>>32609092
Damn I wish I could find a nice girl on the spectrum. I'm attractive and interesting but my biggest weakness is that I enjoy staying home and never go out to socialize.

>I’m a girl
Stopped reading there.

>>32609163
you do not want a retard, lets be honest here

>>32609201
As a retard I can only feel love towards fellow retards. They're the perfect mix of emotional yet aloof. I wouldn't feel smothered while enjoying myself because they have interests and hobbies of their own. We could do knowledge sharing or have debates, play vidya together, and fuck each other's brains out with otherworldly spasming autistic sex.

>>32609099
This looks like it's written with ChatGPT. It has the coldness of someone giving advice without never experiencing the hardships of living like with being differently abled and dating.

>>32609163
A different girl on the spectrum could be the opposite of me. I am a person who is normal and masking with effort, but there's girls on the spectrum that will not stop talking about horses and others girls on the spectrum who are hyperactive and zoom everywhere like little kids. It will depend on the environment they grew up on. I grew up with sisters and I copied them. If someone wanted to be with me because of a thing that I am working to overcome I would hate it.

>>32609168
There are girls on 4chan.

>>32609216
except everyone is different, and retards are more likely to NOT get along with other retards. Considering neurotypicals usually bend the knee to accommodate where as retards want their way.

>>32609218
>If someone wanted to be with me because of a thing that I am working to overcome I would hate it.
I assume you're trying to overcome the difficulties associated with being autistic and not autism itself. Rejecting your autism would be like rejecting breathing.

tits or gtfo

>>32609227
except its just like ADHD hoax. They can focus, they just do not want to. Like being retarded socially. It's like going your entire life lspeaking one language despite it being better to know x language. So now you have to learn this x language and it is harder now vs then.

>>32609227
I read about human psychology so please don't argue with me about what the things I'm saying/said. I'm not autistic. I have aspergers. There is a difference. Humans are able to learn and relearn things. There is nothing stopping someone from learning how to be a non spectrum person.

>>32609251
Okay so you're devaluing yourself and trying to be something you never will. You will always be dissatisfied because the mold you're trying to fit into doesn't accommodate you.

>>32609092
>Now, I’ve talked to eight people
maybe its a you problem then

>>32609251
>I read about human psychology so please don't argue with me about what the things I'm saying/said
you sound annoying af. and that's the reason why you will be single forever

>>32609092
If you want to attract someone attractive like my NT older brother, you have to in a way be patient, open, and try to be positive. Talk about things that are smart. Try to be witty. If nothing else works, then just be cordial with a smile and let things be on their way.

>>32609260
I'm not devaluing myself by learning new skills. I know what I need to work on, and I am working on them. I will perfect those skills and I can be perfect then. I know people on the spectrum who dislike masking and I can't understand why. You are on the spectrum too. I think. That's why you hate me.

>>32609269
No. I don't get to be "annoying" when I am on dates. People fall into 2 categories. One where people let me speak to try and find what's wrong with the situation and the other where they are more uncanny than I am at that moment. Those don't leave any room for me to be "annoying". I am not "annoying" to begin with.

>>32609346
Not on the spectrum. Not talking about masking either. You're giving the impression that you hate your Asperger's and want to be someone different.
>There is nothing stopping someone from learning how to be a non spectrum person.
Yes there is. You weren't born as one. You can integrate with society and live a happy life, but you will never not be on the spectrum.

>>32609092
Asperger’s/Autism, same thing. It’s the difference between ADD & ADHD. No real difference - same thing. Asperger’s was the old name we used to describe a ‘high functioning autist’. Nowadays they don’t even use the term high functioning anymore, they’re calling it ‘Level 1 Autism’.

The only notable difference between asperger’s and Level 1 autism is that the asperger never had language delays during infancy. That’s all – that is the only difference. Everything is the same as regular high-functioning autism after that one tiny difference.

Anyway, dating is always hard for autists/spergs, always. Not because your disorder makes you unlovable or anything, but because it’s going to be difficult to not only pick up on vital social signals, but also, difficult to even know what social signals you are putting out as well. This means you may miss knowing when someone likes you, or may fail in showing others you like them during vital moments. As a female autist/sperg, it’s also going to be potentially dangerous too. You won’t know when someone is clearly an abuser or exploitative, nor will you know if you are accidentally sending out flirtatious/sexual signals, and then an opportunistic person takes advantage, which to you, will seem like a random assault.

Your best bet is to either date someone who understands your disorder extremely well. Either someone who has autistic loved ones, or another type of neurodivergent, like someone with adhd, or an autistic who has come very far in managing and understanding their own disorder.

>>32609402
Do you know any examples of those “random assaults”?

>>32609324
My problem is eye contact.

>>32609364
People on the spectrum that I talk with say similar things to you. They say that being on the spectrum is normal and neurotypicality is the odd one. When in reality you are less than 3% of being normal. If you don't make an effort to be the normal then you don't get treated like you're normal. So ASD is the abnormal. You can choose to be normal with ASD but it is hard.

>>32609402
I disagree with what you said about aspergers being the same as autism.
I agree about what you said about finding someone who is on the spectrum that can manage their behaviour. I am such person. There are no one else that I know that have the same views as me. I dislike being infantized. I am not stupid to not know what sexual assault is.

>>32609442
>They say that being on the spectrum is normal and neurotypicality is the odd one.
I'm not saying that you dense retard. I'm saying you're categorically different and trying to bridge an unbridgeable gap. Holy shit if your dates go anything like this exchange then I'm not in the least surprised that you're still alone.

>>32609448
She’s too blunt, too straightforward in speech.

OP, try to be less direct and harsh, and for Goodness sake don’t date autists. Autists usually annoy each other. Try ADHDers instead.

>>32609442
The way you solve that is being patient. When your eyes are all over the place desperate, you end up looking panicky. In a relaxed way observing the other person's eyes allowing yourself to blink, be patient. Patiently just relax looking at someone.

>>32609436
>Do you know any examples of those “random assaults”?
A specific example would be when a female with autism is blatantly being hit on sexually and she blanks out and does not even acknowledge it as sexual. Like getting a compliment from someone they think could be nice as a friend or potential boyfriend. But the compliment is entirely focused on their body, and the guy asks for lingerie images or lewder and lewder images. The female autist, if she is severely unsocialised, will oblige thinking it must be ‘normal’ to do and she wants to keep being ‘nice’ and keeps giving out more and more of herself. To the other non-autistic guy, her lack of saying no and consistent reciprocation will make that guy think “she REALLY wants to fuck, she loves this.”
Then when it’s date time, she gets felt up, groped, or put into a spontaneous sexual encounter which she had no clue was gonna happen nor fully intended. At that point, female autist will probably go non verbal and let it happen.

This is why the number for female autists experiencing abuse is at about 86%. It’s unprecedentedly high for a disorder to have such a high number like that.

Usually of you talk to female autists and ask if they ever got sexually assaulted or something, you’ll often hear a story they have of something happening.

>>32609497
Do you have ADHD? Your answer is too complicated. Can you just give me some real life examples?

>>32609497
>A specific example would be when a female with autism is blatantly being hit on sexually and she blanks out and does not even acknowledge it as sexual. Like getting a compliment from someone they think could be nice as a friend or potential boyfriend. But the compliment is entirely focused on their body, and the guy asks for lingerie images or lewder and lewder images. The female autist, if she is severely unsocialised, will oblige thinking it must be ‘normal’ to do and she wants to keep being ‘nice’ and keeps giving out more and more of herself. To the other non-autistic guy, her lack of saying no and consistent reciprocation will make that guy think “she REALLY wants to fuck, she loves this.”
>Then when it’s date time, she gets felt up, groped, or put into a spontaneous sexual encounter which she had no clue was gonna happen nor fully intended. At that point, female autist will probably go non verbal and let it happen.
I'm not even a female and this has been my experience. No wonder I have so many female stalkers. What the fuck.

Jesus what an annoying bitch

>>32609485
>Try ADHDers instead.
adhd guy here, can confirm this works. to our people, male autists are cool as fuck, chad role models, and the women to us are angelic goddesses.

>>32609448
I didn't say that you said that. I said that people I know personally in my life have said that to me before in the past and those people also are on the spectrum.

>>32609492
When I avoid someone's eyes I am strange. When I'm looking at someone's eyes I'm also strange. You have to look at them for about 5 seconds and look at something else that is not in their direction and then look back at them. You have to keep going back and forth between the eyes and another object. The problem with that is it takes too much of my focus and I can't keep up with the conversation.

>>32609525
>The problem with that is it takes too much of my focus and I can't keep up with the conversation.
ngmi

>>32609525
A slow natural pace.

>>32609442
> I disagree with what you said about aspergers being the same as autism.
Sure, you can disagree. The label doesn’t matter anyway, its the symptoms that do.

>I agree about what you said about finding someone who is on the spectrum that can manage their behaviour. I am such person.
If you don’t mind my asking, do you love yourself? As in, do you have a positive self-image? Do you appreciate yourself? I ask because my advice is this, to anyone of any disorder:
If you hate yourself, and you date someone like yourself, you will either hate them or they will hate you too. Just wanna throw that out there as some advice.

>I dislike being infantilized
Me too. As an an ADHD, it’s actually one of our (May God forgive me for using this word) “triggers”. We despise it to the point of fury. Yet even I know that accepting my weaknesses and having others help me is necessary. Humility =/= being infantilised.

>>32609510
>Do you have ADHD?
Yea how did you know? Was it my indirect and messy way of explaining things and typing walls of text? Lol of course it was. I find it difficult to give you real life examples besides the 86% abuse stat for autists, and the explanation as to why it can happen. I have met autists who were abused. Out of respect for them, I do not wish to share their experiences online, it would feel disrespectful.

>>32609553
Yep, the wall of text aka overexplaining exposed you as ADHD. I know you well lol. And Idk, I just had a gut feeling that you know more about femautists like you’re directly involved with one. Am I right?

>>32609605
>I had a gut feeling that you know more about femautists like you’re directly involved with one. >Am I right?
Absolutely. And this is why autists are a lot better at socialising than people give you credit for. Yeah you guys ain’t the best at small talk and social flare. But for some reason, you guys are fucking psychic and seem to know the deepest truths of things. Fucking magical wizards, all of you.

>>32609525
>I didn't say that you said that. I said that people I know personally in my life have said that to me before in the past and those people also are on the spectrum.
Ah okay. Good luck out there, I will now leave this thread.

>>32609645
also no this is not sarcasm. I am genuinely amazed that apparently there exists a race of literal psychic-type humans but the world calls them autists and overlook the fact there’s a type of human that makes insane reads that no one else can do.

>>32609645
Ha! I must admit, my radar works astonishingly.

So how is your personal experience? Or rather your partner’s experience with you? Imho it would give OP a good insight and chance to understand how to date.

>>32609676
>So how is your personal experience? Or rather your partner’s experience with you? Imho it would give OP a good insight and chance to understand how to date.

My personal experience has been life-changing, I deeply admire my autist wife a lot, she is extremely smart, efficient, kind, and organised. She is not very sociable, she does not show affection much through words. But she shows insane amounts of love and kindness non-verbally, through her actions.

I am the complete opposite. I verbalise too much and my actions are inefficient, ‘lazy’, my disorder means my ability to do things efficiently and timely is slower. This can annoy my autist waifu. But she really seems to love and value me because she feels safe and understood, she is able to unmask and to feel what she wants to feel with no judgement. She enjoys that I love her both with her social mask on and mask off. By that I mean, I do not get offended or assume bad things about her bluntness. She knows I am attracted to her precisely because of her ‘tism as well as who she is as a person.

>>32609719
I would tap my lap and whistle like Leo DiCaprio in his most famous meme, to take OP’s attention to your reply.

This.

This is the autistic dating code cracked. Take ADHDer and enjoy his retardation because it will bring some chill to your life. It will bring you joy and fun when you’re too busy with color coding your wardrobe.

Also, anon, I’m very happy for you and your wife. Share some stories if you remember any (I know you forget a lot lol).

>>32609745
>Also, anon, I’m very happy for you and your wife.
Thank you. And yeah, I also feel like DiCaprio pointing the finger to call attention to the TV screen whenever the topic of Adhd - autism relationships are brought up. The two disorders share the same genetic origin, but functionally they are both extreme opposites in real life. Both me and my wife are constantly surprised how well we connect to each other, despite representing everything we do not like in life. She loves order, structure, and routine. I cannot stand order, structure and routine. I feel peace in chaos, entropy, and spontaneity. And yet, fate decreed that for whatever reason, these two disorders can work fantastically together as a team. That’s how I feel about her, she is my other half, my missing half, my opposite who balances out all of my weaknesses and compliments all of my strengths.

What’s funny is we both the other is retarded, but both think of each other as smart too. She is more functional, linear, practical, pragmatic. I am more abstract, unorthodox, philosophical and creative. She zooms in on small fine details, where as I always see the bigger picture. Together we are unstoppable. And I’d gladly put down 1,000 normies just to protect her smile lol

Funny story I got rn is she keeps waking me up in the middle of the night to tell me ‘you breathe too loud’ (i am breathing just fine, she just has the senses of a supersonic bat). So I ask her:
“Babe if I breathe any quieter, i wont be able to breathe. Do you want me not to breathe?”

“Yes” autist wife replied, completely oblivious to the implication that she just told me to become deceased for her sleeping pleasure lol

>>32609784
Your wife is adorable. It makes me think that autists are like killer whales. Cute but can be lethal (in speech obviously). How does she handle her diagnosis in different areas of her life?

>>32609838
>It makes me think that autists are like killer whales. Cute but can be lethal.
That’s exactly what gets us Adhds hooked. We are terrified of rejection, of criticism, humiliation, we got crazy traumas from that as kids usually. So we learned very quickly how to spot assholes and our radar for spotting social danger is super accurate. And then, an autist shows up. And it’s like an anomaly, a paradox. Because on the surface, they are so blunt, so harsh, and our asshole radar should be firing alarms. But it doesn’t. So we get curious, extremely curious, our chase for dopamine begins and we want to know more we need to know more. And we find a hidden gem, a heart of gold, literal treasure in the flesh hidden way underneath. We find someone who had gone their whole lives cast aside and misunderstood by everyone, yet had such a big heart the entire time. Literal jackpot.

>How does she handle her diagnosis in different areas of her life?
Good and bad. In work, it’s good because she mogs everyone with her efficiency, she is an absolute work horse. Bad because no one respects her and exploit her kindness, they automatically assume she wants to keep working other people’s workloads, and they don’t bother socialising with her at all because they never assume she might just be too shy to ask to be included. Fucking dumbasses she works with.

She struggles to know how to make friends, especially female friends. She overthinks how to handle friendships or doesnt know when they actually begin.

And it affects her sense of danger too. She has a mindset of ‘it hasnt happened, so that means it will never happen’ and can sometimes wander into bad situations.

She handles it well overall though because she asks for advice and whenever she makes a wrong turn, she focuses in on what went wrong, quickly learns what to do, and adapts. Another autistic quality I admire. Once she adapts and overcomes an obstacle, it’s a permanent adaptation and she evolves.

>>32609891
>(one last point)
The biggest drawback though, is despite all of what I have to say, her low-self esteem unfortunately gets in her way. I could talk for miles about all of her amazing qualities, the things I see in her daily. But it’s invisible to her. She cannot see it. It’s cloaked in a void to her, and so she does not believe these things about her exist, at all. That part of the diagnosis she cannot handle, no. She thinks it is the only reality, she cannot conceive of the possibility that her low self esteem is actually an illusion brought on by the disorder.

>>32609092
>I’ve tried dating a few guys
>but it seems impossible right now
go on more dates