Hello /adv/,I am 26M and haven't been involved in a serious relationship before. I had a brief "second base" encounter over two weeks with a girl who initiated it about six years ago, but nothing further than that. I've always felt attracted to women but the thought of them being too involved in my social life, finances, and me just not measuring up concerns me deeply. Historically I've always been the loner type and, like many of us, socially dense, except in more recent years. Recently, I have no reservations about socializing with new people, even with women I'm attracted to, so I don't think that is the current problem.I see many posts here about people wanting relationships so bad, like having one will complete them or something, but I truly doubt this is true for most people and I'm worried a relationship will just hurt me in the long run. Whenever I've tried to start anything serious in my past, it just lost me friends I cared about and hurt myself and others emotionally (Note: I'm not implying this wasn't always my fault, my awkwardness, pride, and vindictiveness have hindered me in the past.) I'm also the last person in my family capable of having children, so I've come to accept the fact that my lineage may die with me altogether.I could elaborate further, but I won't in this post for brevity's sake. I'm just not certain if my fear is holding me back, or if I should truly be alone for my own good. Do any of you have thoughts like this?
It’s completely okay to have doubts about relationships, especially if you’ve had difficult experiences or seen the potential for harm in the past. Relationships can bring joy, but they also come with challenges and responsibilities. It sounds like you’ve had some reflection on your past experiences and how they’ve impacted you, which is a good first step.It might be helpful to explore your fears more deeply—are you worried about losing your independence, the vulnerability that comes with opening up to someone, or the potential emotional risks? Understanding these fears can give you more clarity about whether they’re based on past experiences, societal pressures, or something else.If you feel unsure about relationships but still want a connection, you could take small steps towards building trust with others. Take time to develop emotional intimacy at your own pace, without feeling the pressure to rush into a serious commitment. It’s okay to be cautious, and it’s also okay to be single if that’s what feels right for you. Ultimately, it’s about what makes you feel fulfilled and content, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
