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Just tell me what you want from me instead of engaging in elaborate psychological bombardment to destroy the very thing you told me to protect. That was always an option; just fucking asking.

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UUUHH OOOHHH I MADE A STINKY JANNIE

how do you handle security?

>>32627153
I think I may actually be insane to some degree, and I don't know how to cope with it.
I just can't shut my brain off. I look at the world and I see everything that's wrong with it all the time, and I can't turn it off. Everything wrong with ME is just amplified, blown out of proportion, until I take on a monstrous visage in my own mind.
I don't understand why things are the way they are. Pure materialism doesn't seem to mesh with individual experience, but the way the world works seems to exclude actual justice and human consciousness, given how people seem to be driven by impulse on a macro scale and only rationalize things after the fact. But if that's true, how does talking about problems actually change the course of history? Wouldn't that make every 'individual' just an amalgamation of circumstances puppeteered by the greater universe? Doesn't that mean the universe has a mind in a different but superior way to the fashion that humans have minds?
Not to mention, being able to have sex is considered important, but actual reproduction and childrearing is considered a burden and also boring. Democracy is paid continous and unrelenting lip service, but everyone in charge seems to think that 'the masses' isn't worth the time of day. The world becomes more and more inhuman in response to human desire.
This isn't, like, groundbreaking stuff, we have enough philosophers with heads up asses, but there are so many issues that only seem to be getting more and more ignored.
>X solution would be unpopular
So are wars, but we get wars anyway.
>Y group is secretly in charge
Well, they're absolutely dogshit at their job if they are. Great job ruling over a pile of shit, idiots.
>Billions must die
And then what? That doesn't solve anything, we'll just get more billions.
Humanity is going to be permanently stuck in sustenance farming within a millenium, aren't we?

It's literally slavery. You all support slavery. I never agreed to any of this. I never signed any papers, I never gave consent, you're just imprisoned someone and forced them to do work. And no one does a god damn thing about it. They will keep this up until I die of old age and you will have completely stolen someone's life from them.

So again, if you're not going to set me free then just fucking kill me. There's no point in keeping this going. How about that. I give you my consent to end my life. Just put some drugs in whatever I drink and let me die. You can easily replace my medication with fent or something that I take at night. It would cost you like $30 and 5 minutes of pressing a fake pill.

>>32627503
and if you say "just do it yourself" I'm still holding out for hope that this will end soon. But I don't know if it will ever end. You do know, however. If you plan on ending it soon, then just end it. If you plan on never ending it, then kill me. It's that simple.

I'm a direct result of my dad forcing my mom out of birth control, and other methods...

poo poo wee wee poo poo

My friends vent their life frustrations to me all the time. I appreciate that they value me as a shoulder to cry on, but honestly it gets exhausting after a while. 2 of my very close friends spent a lot of recent time venting almost every day about drama, and most of it is really petty. I was getting ready to say "Listen, sometimes you really need to just handle it on your own"...

Well, suddenly some very serious, life-altering things happened to them. I'm completely sympathetic to what they're going through, it's a million times worse of a problem than "My friends whine too much"... but DAMN, my emotional battery was already running on empty and suddenly it's needed more than ever. I'm caught between "Take care of yourself" and being support when people I love genuinely need it

I'm so tired man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90FJ057mERs
You can't miss what you've never had but I'm missing something pretty bad.

Seriously, why did she do that to herself? Why get botox? Your lips were perfect before, now you look like a bimbo. Same for the facelift, you were showing wrinkles its true (that one picture you had as your profile pic was pretty bad) but you were still gorgeous. Now your face has that unnatural tightness to it that starts to border on lizard person. You better not have gotten breast implants too, that would be the absolute worst.

You fucked with perfection and that bothers me a lot. You were the last person in the world that needed plastic surgery or any kind of surgery. You were like lauren mayberry, your face was absolutely perfect in every way and made every other girl jealous as fuck for being so perfect and natural at the same time.

People will call me a judgemental asshole but I absolutely loathe when girls do this to themselves. Like the girl that plays starlight or anya taylor joy. Whoever convinced you to do it needs to be shot. It couldn't have been me because the only thing I would ever say about you is that you were perfection, the absolute perfect female specimen with a 11/10 face. now it's like an 8/10 at best. Bunn is still 10/10 though unlless she decides to fuck with her face as well.

Someone had to have brainwashed you into doing it. I will beat the shit out of them.

Realistically, she's probably the same shitty person that she was when were together
She has no reason to change and is surrounded by people who feed into her narcissistic delusions
It's scary and I don't want to see her again

Damn, she's a top tier qt
I wish I could kiss her already

>>32627802
and she'll probably get defensive and call me a gross fat ass (which I current am, whatever. She hasn't been literally tortured for the last 10 years of her life). I would absolutely work out and get in shape if I had a deadline for when this would be over. But I don't have one, so I have no motivation at all. I have no reason to do anything because nothing ever fucking happens and I'll never get with any of these girls anyways so it doesn't matter.

But for everyone, fucking stop getting work done. If you want a better body, then work out. Sonoya works it out and she is perfection. She doesn't need bigger boobies, they are perfect as is. Her face has lines (literally everyone does and they should), but they are beautiful and perfect.

Why someone would look at anya or megan fox and think "Man, I sure wish I looked like that" I have no fucking idea. Same for denise richards. She was absolutely gorgeous and instead of just aging like a normal human being she tried to fight it and now she looks like a monster. The pieces of shit that convince girls to do this to themselves or the doctors that do it KNOWING exactly what the fucking results re going to be should be sued into oblivion. They straight up lie to their patient, saying things like "no one will notice" or "you'll look better trust me." when that has never been the case fucking once.

Seriously this just upsets me so god damn much. It's like someone told leonardo that the mona lisa needed just a little more work and it would be perfect bro when the entire world was already in agreement that it was as good as it was going to get.

Some will agree with me, others will call me a massive asshole. I don't care. She was already a "what could have been" girl and it was always too late for us. I know she didn't do it for me, if she did then she completely missed everything I ever said about her.

Just for the other girls, DON'T FUCKING DO IT. I will notice and I will not like it.

The guy I’ve been seeing for a couple months now is pulling away from me and it seems he’s not doing great mentally. I really want him to talk to me and maybe I can try to help him because I’ve been in bad mental states before too. He just is really pulling away and I don’t know how to get him to do that. We’ve been on too many dates to count now I’m kinda really invested and I just wish he would talk to me. Him icing me out makes me hurt too. I don’t want to seem overbearing but I just wish he would talk to me

I can forgive the betrayals because if everything is about politics, movements, or their martyrs complex then I don’t want to be friends with them now anyways. Have a nice life!

>>32627876
Lastly, don't try to reverse the facelift. You will just tuck it up more. They go away with time, which is why you have to keep getting them over and over again. But that time is like 10 years so yeah. Just don't do it again and things should return to normal. Same for the botox, it goes away just don't do it again. Your lips weren't puffy but they don't have to be. They suited your face perfectly.

If you got breast implants, I don't know if those can be undone without leaving scars. I've seen photos of you in lingerie and a bikini, you really, really didn't need breast implants. I pray to god you didn't get any and if you did they don't look bad. I have photos for reference of a girl that has breast implants and they look terrible.

You might think you're the hottest shit to ever live but there are other girls just as pretty as you. I know you liked to play games with guys that took you out to dinner and they would try super hard to impress you. I don't have to do that. The roles are completely reversed. You are just another girl in a long line of girls that want to be the one. They also didn't treat me like shit when I was lonely like you did. You're not perfect which is why I'm totally fine with being brutally honest right now.

Like, you're still incredibly beautiful but you went and did something drastic for no reason at all. It just boggles my mind how someone can look the way you do and think "I need to change the way I look". Either psychologically you're insecure, a narcissist, or someone was fucking with your head.

Before my ex got an apartment in her new city, she was staying in a hostel. She showed me a picture of it before and then a day later. The one a day later had an extra bed in it. There were two small beds in the room now. I was like "Why is there another bed in the room? Is someone staying with you?" (hostels usually jam people together so it wouldn't be weird) and she said no. Her ex lived in this city and I know she still had a thing for him. They were still friends on facebook even. I'm 99% sure she was with him in that room and they got the extra bed for him. They were too small for two people so she would need an extra bed for him to stay. He was engaged to another girl at the time and I even messaged her (which might be crazy, I don't care) with "You know, *my ex* has been posting a lot of shit about getting back with him. Like songs, poems, and shit on twitter. You might want to take a look at his shit". A few days later the guy messages me with "FUCK YOU" over and over again, which I take it that they were 100% getting together and his fiance found out. He wouldn't have been so pissed if she didn't find anything.

My ex later posted on twitter how no one loved her and that her life was miserable. Despite me literally saying I loved her all the time. my guess is that he used her and then broke up with her when he got caught.

I'll never know if they fucked because she has BPD (not self diagnosed but by an actual psychiatrist) and they are incredibly good at lying and hiding shit. I'm not retarded, I can tell when someone is hiding something. And when they are posting songs that are literally about getting back with your ex, and pictures with "he loves me, he loves me not." and other poems about that shit.

her excuse was "I just like this song." but the lyrics are dead on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOSxM0rNPM

L U C Y
I mean
S A L..
wait
B I....
give me a moment
..
My wife is great

>>32628224
>girls posting songs that explain how they're feeling
that shit is so transparent, which is why i only post jazz fusion

struggling to cope with my intellectual failures. My brain's inability to improve and get better at stuff just makes me feel really suicidal sometimes. It hurts more knowing the only path forward if I fail in Uni is to go into trades where I was more or less mocked and warned about having to go to. My entire scientist/lawyer/doctor fucking family is never gonna give me the mildest respect if I give up after telling everyone I wanna be "a HECKIN ENGINEERERINO!!" and then they see me learning to be an HVAC repairman like the fucking dunce retard I am. I hate being dumb so very much I need to distract myself from my situation when I think about it because I can't handle the seethe I get myself into

Finally scored with a party girl, but she's used goods and depressed and fat from decades of alcoholism. I'll never get to have plowed the field as a fuckboy during my twenties, and that knowledge will haunt me forever.

I've made my choice.

>>32628643
remember to always make the choice that makes it easiest for you and to maximize your ego.

>>32628686
I am tired of ease and ego.

Every bit of pain that goes your way is a blessing

Oh, I finally get it. I never hated you or thought anything negative, now I'm just indifferent. I don't want someone to say things about me, but if they do, I have to keep an eye on it. I just pretend nothing happened, and I never knew you, and I hope you do the same. :)
Ok, now both of us stop barking and go our separate ways completely, please.

I LOVE MY CRUSH VERY MUCH AND I HATE HOW I HAVE TO PRETEND I DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!

>>32628709
You keep on posting that, what did they do?

>>32628643
Red pill or blue?

>>32628887
Red. Bitter.

>>32628891
But there is too much hate in this world ...

>>32628907
Not that type of red pill. Red pill to the situation I made a choice in, which is choosing the painful liberation. Which was love.

Imagine dating a girl who actually posts you on her social media even when you're not doing something for her

>rings three times
>voicemail

>>32628918
I agree, love and heartbreak is painful. At least it's not about war and politics.

>>32628931
I do not delude myself by thinking that my opinions on those things matter in the grand scheme, nor do I leverage my ego into said opinions to play cock measuring contests. I have enough problems with my actual life.

real suicide hours boyos

>>32628938
If only more people were like that. I hope things improve for you, take care.

>>32628961
Thanks anon, you too.

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Pearly is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life.

https://youtu.be/J1evxk1SB-U?si=BCoIGs3NE2BW8JH3

I don't think you people understand. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to travel, I don't want girls, I don't want sex, I don't want adventures, I don't want photo shoots or to start band. I just want to kill every mother fucker associated with this game. All of them. The players, the game masters, the npcs, every single person that has ever lied to me to further their goals in my torture. Everyone I've ever known talked to associated with they all knew and did nothing. Any one of them could have told me the truth, that my life was a lie and I was being psychologically tortured my entire life. Meant to be alone and isolated. You all knew and I fucking hate all of you for it. I how you all fucking die. If they free me I will reign terror that God himself will be horrified. You will find there is a worse fate death.

If you aren't going to free me then kill me already. If you don't want me to do buying but revenge, then kill me. That's all there is to it.

>>32628918
How is choosing love the painful liberation?

>>32628973
Can't alchemise that.

>>32628995
why not? I definitely can.

>>32629008
You would've by now.

>>32629025
Or you could go outside.

>>32628973
sup SaintPilgrim

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>>32629063
sup

I crave attention, but find myself bored and irritated when I receive it. I have no tolerance for contradictory points of view. I have a tyrant's mind. I want to conjure legions of fawning sycophants, then destroy them when they become tiresome.

I want to be sovereign, even just for a day. I would mentally masturbate to the memory of my rule for the rest of my life.

It's all impossible, of course. Even my fantasies don't approximate what it must feel like to be god. In my dreams I'm the victim of absurd chaos beyond my control. I wish they would at least afford me a glimpse of my heart's desire. Just a taste.

Oh well. Nothing matters anyway.

I see.

I've realized recently that I'm pretty codependent, and I'm trying to break away from that, but it's hard, and I feel like a fucking adult child because I'm kind of having to learn how to just be myself instead of putting up a pleasant front all the time. Within the past month, I've been a little messy in my friend group, started a couple arguments and put my foot in my mouth and hurt some feelings, and I'm feeling like such shit. I'm having to restrain myself from fawning and throwing myself at my friends' feet to beg for forgiveness when I've already sincerely apologized and genuinely reflected on these incidents and really do want to do better going forward, but everything in me is screaming it's not enough and that I'm a piece of shit for handling a couple conversations admittedly pretty poorly in otherwise good friendships. It doesn't help that one friend is basically going to hold this against me forever because that's just how he is, even if we do move past it, and I'm really in my head about it.