>>34142154
She was doing exactly what you were doing, and exactly what both of you had AGREED you would both be doing. How, in your mind, has she done anything wrong?

>>34142195
To be clear, I don't think she did anything "wrong", as in betrayal or cheating.

But it's just cheap as fuck and I feel disgusted and can't look at her the same way. During the breakup I told her, I'm happy to continue hooking up with you as FWB, but I don't see a relationship anymore.

To defend myself, I felt like she was distant in the beginning, and I was like, aight, I'm not gonna pressure her into a relationship. I'll keep taking her on dates and hooking up with her. When she's ready, she'll come to me. And in the meantime I'll keep exploring my options. I'm not a hookup type of guy, but I did go on dates with other girls and hook up with some, but didn't like any as much as her, so I dropped them.

And to be clear, I would have had no problem with her exploring her options and going on dates, and maybe hooking up with people. It's just that getting herself fucked by essentially any guy who asks feels just cheap AF and cannot be justified with "exploring other options". It feels to me like her getting gangbanged in one room, and then me picking her up with flowers to take her on a romantic date.

I'd much rather some guy put in some effort to try get in her pants than her literally being passed around by strangers.

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>>34142154
Dignity or pussy is the question men have to answer. Do you think you could do better? Do you think you could do worse?

If you break up with her, you need to realise in 5-10 years that she might have been the best pussy you had access to and if you're okay with the idea now, you also need to realise you might not be okay with that later.

>>34142154
Don't ask question to which you don't want to know the answers

>>34142232
>Dignity or pussy is the question men have to answer. Do you think you could do better? Do you think you could do worse?

DESU I don't know. She's definitely the best I've had in years. It will probably take years to find a girl that lives up to her.

But then again I don't even know if I COULD be a good partner to her right now. I feel like I'd constantly be (unfairly) resentful to her.

Plus, before this, I was the cool detached guy and she really wanted to be my girlfriend. Now I'd be crawling back after previously breaking up. Feels super beta and I have no idea if the dynamic could ever be the same.

>>34142154
>we were dating non-exclusively for like 7 months before making it official
>That girls trip was 4 months into us dating
You were never "dating" and shouldn't be surprised by the caliber of woman you ended up with. A whore is a whore no matter how much you like her.
>loyal girlfriend
That you know of.

>>34142216
The cause of the problem, anon, is that you lied to her. You told her you were okay with her fucking other men when you weren't. And you're now punishing her for breaking a rule you specifically told her didn't exist.

I suspect the real problem here is that you're jealous: you can't stand the fact that she was able to have a threesome with two hot guys, and you weren't able to have a threesome with two hot girls. That pisses you off and you're taking it out on her.

But anyway, your friends and family are right: you've behaved despicably. Literally all you had to do was say "let's be exclusive" and this wouldn't have happened; or even just not asked her a question you couldn't actually handle her answering. It's all on you.

>>34142154
Given how easy it is for women to have sex, this wouldn't shock me in the slightest. I would kind of expect this to be honest.

What she did was slutty and pretty reckless sure. It makes sense that you would feel a loss of respect for her as a result.

But you know her. You’ve been dating for a good clip. Ask yourself if she’s been a good, loyal gf and if she’s someone you can trust and build a life with.

You can start over with someone else, sure, but damn man. You’re punishing her for hooking up, which is something you were also doing. Your pride is what’s hurt, because now the girl you love is someone you see as a slut, and you feel burnt by that.

>>34142216
>getting herself fucked by essentially any guy who asks
That is not what happened, and you know it. It was her choice, not theirs.

>>34142251
>The cause of the problem, anon, is that you lied to her. You told her you were okay with her fucking other men when you weren't. And you're now punishing her for breaking a rule you specifically told her didn't exist.

Look I don't know if I fully agree. Like, yeah, I'd have been fine with her going on dates with potential suitors and maybe having sex with them. Maybe the occasional FWB. I was exploring my options, too. But getting a train run on her by strangers just feels disgusting.

It's like saying, you're cool with your spouse deciding how to spend their money. Then you find out they emptied their whole bank account to donate to some OnlyFans model. Like, yeah, technically they didn't break any rules, but also, what the fuck?

She cheated 4 months into dating with you. You really set yourself up anyway for her to cheat on you because you and her were non monogamous with her. Complete pair bonding broken, she's just going to cheat at some point anyway

>>34142264
>You can start over with someone else, sure, but damn man. You’re punishing her for hooking up, which is something you were also doing. Your pride is what’s hurt, because now the girl you love is someone you see as a slut, and you feel burnt by that.

I mean it's not just that she's a slut, but I'm literally taking the slut on romantic sunset dates the week after she's got a train run on her. That feels fucking terrible. I feel like, how can I look at myself in the mirror?

If, hypothetically, I was tagteaming a girl, and asked her after I came on her face, "so is there anyone you're dating right now?" And she's like, "yeah there's this guy I've been seeing for 4 months. He's putting in a lot of effort and taking me on these really nice dates lol. I'll actually see him next week. I hope he never finds out about this haha." I'd think to myself, damn, what a poor sucker. Sucks to be him.

And now I'd be choosing voluntarily to be a sucker? That feels messed up.

>>34142274
How exactly did she cheat?

>>34142280
The fact that your gf told you makes the difference though, she didn’t let you find out about it from a rumor or someone else. She didn’t hide it. Look, it is fucked. It is. She was stupid, she was a slut, and she had sex. And it probably feels like a weird spiteful thing. If you can’t forgive it then yes, you did the right thing in breaking up.

But you agreed to be non exclusive and you were hooking up as well. She did what you allowed her to do, and what she thought was okay at the time. You set the expectation that fucking other people and slutting around was okay anon, you just thought ??? Like damn man, you don’t have to throw her away because of it. Tell her you’re pissed and hurt and jealous and fuck her into the mattress.

>>34142266
So if, at that point, two extremely attractive women had approached you and said "Hey, anon, would you like to have a threesome with us?" are you seriously claiming you would have turned them down? No you fucking wouldn't. And if an even hotter girl had happened to approach you the next afternoon and asked you for sex, would you have turned her down just because you'd had sex the previous night? Again, no you fucking wouldn't. She did EXACTLY what you would have done in that situation. The only difference is, she actually had the chance to, and you didn't.

>>34142321
Basically this. 99% of the human male autist obsession with virginity/purity is literally just sour grapes.

>>34142154
Ok, after 1882949430 of these threads here's the truth pill - we don't know your girlfriend. We know nothing about her. Additionally, we don't know anything about you. The only person who can weigh her negative and positive traits and make a decision about a relationship with her is you. A million teenage virgins on a scandinavian hackey sack forum telling you what they would do if they were you is as useless advice as you can possibly get. Nobody knows what you want but you. Think about it, make a fucking choice.

>>34142154
She's for the streets, anon. So are you apparently. Save it for marriage next time and find someone who wants to do the same.

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>>34142154
Ladies and gentlemen this is what your brain looks like on sex before marriage
I don't know what it is with you normies and being non virgin shameless sinners then seeing each other as anything less than pure after the fact when all of you are stained. All of you.

>>34142280
>I'd think to myself, damn, what a poor sucker.
The thing is, anon, if you were a sucker, it wasn't her that made you a sucker. It was YOU. You did it to yourself. You specifically told her that you were absolutely fine with her fucking other men. You could have said "I want us to be exclusive" but you chose not to. Your choice. You were fucking other women as well. Your choice. YOU put YOURSELF in the position of being a sucker when there was no need to. And now you're somehow managing to blame her for your own stupid decision.

>>34142349
I hear you, but I feel like this is too one-dimensional. Again, being fine with her entertaining other suitors and potentially sleeping with them does not mean I must be fine with her getting gangbanged by 10 strangers an hour before I pick her up for our date.

I completely agree, she is technically right and didn't break any rules. Still, it feels disgusting and cheap to me and I'm not sure I can see her the same way. I don't think she's a bad person, but I feel like the magic might be gone for me and I can't be a good partner to her anymore.

As I said above:
> It's like saying, you're cool with your spouse deciding how to spend their money. Then you find out they emptied their whole bank account to donate to some OnlyFans model. Like, yeah, technically they didn't break any rules, but also, what the fuck?

But I'm trying to get other peoples' perspectives on this.

>>34142154
You made the smart move
Could you really marry and spend the rest of you life with a girl that was a total whore for 3 strangers while you have to buy her a house and provide for her for the same thing?
I think not

>>34142421
> while you have to buy her a house and provide for her for the same thing?
In her defense, she makes her own money, like $300k a year, we alternate paying for our dates, and she'll probably soon be making more money then her.

>>34142154
>dating non exclusively for 7 months
so you're just a cuck? wtf is the matter with you

>>34142428
Damn, should have married and divorced her for alimony

I was reading this thinking she only fucked 2 dudes in a one night threesome situation. Rereading it, 2 dudes and then a 3rd dude the night after is a lot. If you can’t handle your girl being a slut, you should’ve been exclusive way earlier though.

>>34142431
Look I was thinking I'm cool, I'm playing the field, she's "just one of the girls", I'm treating her like a casual thing unless she shows through words and actions that she really wants to be mine, etc.

Like I said she was pretty distanced in the beginning, took time to reply etc., and I felt like I don't want to be the guy begging for her to be my girlfriend. I was like, aight, if she wants to be casual, we'll be casual, while I'm looking elsewhere.

I was also seeing other girls.

I get that in hindsight it looks really stupid, but at the time I thought I'm being smart about it.

>>34142452
Yeah, that’s understandable. You were retarded. Your chickens have come home to roost though, and you still seem conflicted about whether to leave her.

So what’s your plan?

>>34142452
So you were fine with both of you being sluts, but now you're sad because you found out she was a bigger one than you? You got exactly what you asked for.

>>34142456

I don't know man. Part of me says I should trust my gut instincts, I was right to break it off, and now my doubts are just the addiction to her speaking.

And part of me is like, well we weren't exclusive, she was an amazing girlfriend, why should it matter what she did back then even if I find it distasteful.

But, yeah, the idea of me crawling back and saying "I'm sorry for being upset you had 3 guys ran a train on you" feels terrible. I have no idea if I could ever look at her the same way, and I have no idea if she could ever respect me again after walking back on such a strict boundary of mine. And I feel like, if I accept this, what else will I accept? What is my actual, non-negotiable boundary? IDK.

>>34142472
>So you were fine with both of you being sluts
IDK, I feel like going on dates to explore potential options (and hooking up with some of them to check if the physical chemistry is there) and getting a train run on you by strangers are not the same thing. And men and women are not the same.

>>34142154
Just so you know every time a guy asks her about her past now she is going to lie and say she's a prude

>>34142476
see >>34142321

>>34142321
>>34142495
NTA but men and women are different
Women are valued for chastity
Men are valued for sexual conquest
That's why virgin is an insult for men but not for women

>>34142495
Yeah of course I would have done the same thing.

The thing is, for a woman it's nothing special that guys want to fuck them. Literally 80% of women could walk into a bar and proclaim that they want to get tag-teamed and go home 5 minutes later to have a train run on them. All it says about her is that she has no boundaries.

If a guy has 3 hot girls interested in him, it says that he's exceptionally charming, has game, status, whatever.

I feel like the reverse situation would be me simping hard for another girl and giving her the princess treatment and asking her to be my girlfriend after 3 dates without getting any sex, while with this girl I'm taking her out for casual drinks, split the bill, have sex, and keep it casual forever.

>>34142476
>it's okay when I do it!
Oh, fuck off. You both had sex with whomever you pleased, why are you trying to dress yours up to seem more noble and pure in intent than her being a run-through whore like you think she is? Claiming that you were a good serial slut just trying to find the right fit doesn't sound as good as you think it does.
>And men and women are not the same.
If it's disgusting for her to do it, it is for you too. You're feeling the effects of treating people like sex toys and you don't like it, do you?

Since you're having such a hard time with what she did, ask yourself, can you move past it? Can you marry this train station you're so distraught over and never dwell on her past debauchery again? If it doesn't matter, you have no problem. If you can't let it go, dump her and find someone who meets your double standards.

>>34142195
Having sex with 3 strangers in 24 hours including a gangbang is ridiculously whorish. OP is doing the right thing.

>>34142502
Alright dude. All I'm saying is you quite literally asked for it.

>>34142504
>If it's disgusting for her to do it, it is for you too.
See my example in >>34142502

I've literally asked a female friend about this situation. They said, oh, you guys weren't exclusive, she did nothing wrong, at least she was honest etc. Then I asked them, what if a guy that was slow to commit to you and only taking you on casual dates for months told you that during that same time he gave another girl the princess treatment and asked her to be his girlfriend? She said, "I would turn around and walk away and never speak to him again. I wouldn't want to be the second choice."

Whereas I don't really give a fuck if a girl I'm giving hard sex every week has a simp male friend she takes on nice friend dates and cooks with him or whatever while they don't have sex.

>>34142504
This dude is the sort of guy that says marrying her when she's 35 is the prize and that she "chose" you over the guys she fucked in her 20's

>>34142321
The equivalent would be running out and buying 3 hookers in a day and yes any woman would be disgusted and concerned about STDs.

>>34142511
>Whereas I don't really give a fuck if a girl I'm giving hard sex every week has a simp male friend she takes on nice friend dates and cooks with him or whatever while they don't have sex.
But that wasn't what you communicated. You said it was okay for either of you to fuck other people. You communicated to her that it's okay to sleep with whoever and it wasn't going to threaten her chances at getting a relationship (like our societal valuation of women's chastity usually does) because she already had a relationship with you and you said you were cool with it. You really couldn't have set this up worse for yourself.

>>34142511
>Whereas I don't really give a fuck if a girl I'm giving hard sex every week has a simp male friend she takes on nice friend dates and cooks with him or whatever while they don't have sex.
You honestly don't seem mature enough for a real relationship. I don't think you understand what one is supposed to be. The only thing that seems to matter to you is sex and who's had more of it.

>>34142522
I'm not saying she cheated, I'm asking whether this event says something about her character that tells me I shouldn't wife her up.

Like let's say a girl is dating a guy, and then the guy says, yeah so I raped someone. She never communicated that he's not supposed to rape people. But still, maybe it's not a good idea for her to continue engaging with him.

>>34142473
I think… OP you mention a lot of imagery of crawling back and feeling sick.

I think you’re right to leave, and you’re right to feel conflicted about that. If you were to go back, it would be a compromise. It would be a moment you have to swallow back the humiliation from for the rest of your relationship.

But maybe ask yourself if you’d rather live with that shame or the pain of never seeing her again. Because that’s your choice, y’know? Your pride and dignity over the woman you love. Or you love her for now. That changes over time for a lot of people. Even if you did take her back, this separation would likely put your relationship on a timer, and you’d break up again down the line. Just my thoughts.

I think you just miss her right now, and you miss the joy and love you felt in your connection to her, and that connection being broken feels painful, and going back feels like the easiest way to heal. But it’s usually not. Not unless you both are seriously committed to being in each others lives and being each others partners, despite the reminder this will leave.

Can you tell me about her? What kind of life you hoped to have with her, or what you liked about her? I think it has a lot of weight and importance, to know what kind of future you imagined with her, and what kind of present relationship you had together. Otherwise we’re all just throwing shots in the dark on our advice anon. Another anon said it best, none of us here know her, and if she’s worth it to you.

>>34142531
>She never communicated that he's not supposed to rape people
You didn't "never not say" to sleep with other people. You explicitly said it was okay and that you weren't exclusive for those first 7 months. I don't know what to say about her character. I don't know anything else about how she was before/after the agreement, whether she cheated after you went exclusive, or anything like that. My takeaway is that you were a huge dumbass and you're mad at her for a situation you created. I have no idea if she's a whore or if she was just enjoying the benefits of your generous offer.

>>34142522
There's a big difference between
>let's be friends with benefits and occasionally see other people
And
>I'm going to fuck 50 people a day until I look like a Jabba the Hutt spooge monster, and let's be friends with benefits

>>34142531
What the fuck is wrong with you? The terms of your "casual" relationship was that you were free to date and fuck whoever you wanted. Why does her end of the contract come with strings that you never told her about?
If you're trying to equate her having a threesome with rape just because you don't like that she had it, she would be better off without you, not the other way around. This is your fault, as many other anons have said.

>>34142533
I mean she's smart, she's funny, she's ambitious, she seems (seemed?) loyal and trustworthy, she has a good career, she's good-looking and fashionable, she treats me like a king, she comes from a stable family with good parental values (I think), the sex is off the charts.

I was thinking about moving in with her later this year. I thought I'd see how things go and if things continue to go well, I was able to see myself marry and start a family with her.

>>34142542
She slept with 2 dudes on day in a threesome and one dude the next day. And that was the highest frequency she ever had (assuming she was telling the truth, I guess).

>>34142543
>how dare you shame her for being the town bike!
Liberalism is a mental illness

>>34142522
>our societal valuation of women's chastity usually does
90% of society throughout human civilization has valued a woman's chastity, this isn't a
>muh west is le bad
thing

>>34142546
>assuming she was telling the truth
:^)

>>34142549
I didn't mean that as a bad thing. It's a good societal value to have, which is why most successful civilizations have it, and losing that value is a sign of a civilization in decline. What I was saying is he basically created a situation where she didn't have to worry about that affecting her dateability status, because she already had a bf, who also said they could sleep with other people. It's no wonder that she's more lax when dudes approach her for sex in that situation that he created for himself.

>>34142544
Bro if she acts like a hoe then you have no obligation to be with her. Simple as that, the decision is in your hands and you don't have to justify anything to these faggots in this thread.

>>34142548
OP is a hypocrite and so is anyone defending him. This whole thread is him being upset that he couldn't control the behaviour of someone who wasn't actually his girlfriend at the time, and he's even admitted that he would've done the same thing he has a problem with if given the chance.

>>34142544
That’s a lot of good qualities. Kind of weird you’re questioning her stable family values, have you spent much time with her family or no? At this stage I’d assume you would have met her family some.

Hmmmmm. OP this is truly your call, and she definitely made some bad judgements in fucking around that much, but it sounds like you wanted a reason to bail on her. Why ask a question like that if not to find some reason to drop her? The fact is, most women you meet are going to have had slut phases. Not all of them, but most. And they aren’t all going to be honest about it, because they know the judgement for it. And it isn’t a situation where she defrauded you, lied to you, or otherwise abused you. I think it’s a matter of if this is something you can acknowledge was wrong of her, but still forgive. Did you talk to her about it, or just drop the boom that you were breaking up with her? Like, did you actually stop and tell her how hurt and ashamed you felt about her actions, or did you just drop her?

>>34142154
She purposefully had a degenerate "last hoorah" before you "locked her down." She very clearly enjoys having sex with lots of different men. If you're expecting lifelong loyalty and exclusivity with her, you'd be disappointed I'd guarantee it.
>Sex is off the charts, she gets me gifts, always wears lingerie for me, lets me dominate her in bed, etc.
While it's nice the ironic part is that this is the lowest hanging fruit for women to give you. It's easy to dress up in lace and just get fucked, especially if you're trying to lock a man down. Modern women are just so fucking lazy and entitled that they think good sex is a privilege for a relationship, not a requirement. I'd expect my girlfriend to be sexually accommodating as a given. It's what she does beyond the bedroom that is an indicator of her behavior.
>>34142195
>She was doing exactly what you were doing
The percentage of men who can have sex with three different women of at least average attractiveness (women don't hook up with uggos or fatties for ONS), including a FFM threesome, is into the decimal places.
Men and women are different.

>>34142544
>she's smart, she's funny, she's ambitious, she seems (seemed?) loyal and trustworthy, she has a good career, she's good-looking and fashionable
All things only beta cucks value.
Is she retrained? Is she modest? Is she honest? Is she loyal and virtuous? Will she be a good mother to your children?
>she treats me like a king
What exactly does this mean? Because if it's just good sex, that's easy like I said here >>34142570
Does she cook and clean for you? Does she go out of her way to make you comfortable, even at her own expense? Does she defer to you in every situation? Does she challenge your judgements? That's actually what being treated like a king entails, it's not just being some sex-obsessed beta who think that means just being lucky enough to get blowjobs.

>>34142558
People need to stop using hypocrite as an obvious negative/breaker/gotcha for male-female relationships. They aren't the same, their conduct isn't valued the same, and they ask different things from each other.

Most women would say "if there is a dangerous animal, you must protect me", something which men will agree to. If she runs away when there is a bear instead of hurling herself in to give her man time to escape, would you call her a hypocrite? Would he? It might be correct but does it matter? lol

A women getting ganged by strangers is not the same as a guy fucking two women. Anyone who says it is the same and that the character reflected by it when it comes to choosing long term partners is either a liar or a fool.

>>34142687
>A women getting ganged by strangers is not the same as a guy fucking two women
How is it not. Is the woman supposed to hear about a MFF threesome and think "Wow, this thing he'd be mad at me for is so hot. It's okay that he did it because we're different."
Your example is no different than a situation like this
Man: I'm really hungry. I think I'll get one of everything from McDonald's and eat it all in one sitting.
Woman: That sounds good, I think I'll do that too.
Man: No, you can't do that. You'll get fat. Women aren't supposed to be fat. Men need to eat more, so it's fine if I do it. That's just how it is.

At the end of the day, the old adage rings true.
OP is a faggot.

>>34142705
Male and female sexuality are the not the same. Their sexual psychology is different. You know this, anon. Even if by your personal moral standards consider it the same, and think people should treat it the same, they clearly do not.

>How is it not. Is the woman supposed to hear about a MFF threesome and think "Wow, this thing he'd be mad at me for is so hot. It's okay that he did it because we're different."
Even within that example anon, you seem to highlight your ignorance of women. Very few women would go in for a MFM threesome as they would find it disrespectful to themselves, they could get pregnant by one of a number of random men. Women will fantasises about fucking rape lol but few will for that. Their romance books are full of characters taking them by force, how many are full of multiple dudes fucking them? Women's sexuality is naturally very coded for commitment to one partner, he will fall in love with me and take care of me. Even if he rapes me, he will end up loving me (he probably only raped me because he just had to have me so much), and then my charms will keep him and he will do what I need him to do. The third man dumping a load in does not fall in love with the whore, and women know this. It is dysfunctional sexual behaviour from a woman, they know this, men know this.

A woman who gets ganged is a whore who could get knocked up by multiple dudes.

The fact that more women fantasise about being raped than having MFM threesomes should tell you that this is screwy whore behaviour.

>>34142725
Anon, has it ever not been the case?

>>34142384
Look, you *could* have been a bit more specific in that conversation if you'd wanted to. If you were fine with her having sex with one guy a month but not two (or whatever bizarre, arbitrary limit made sense to you) you should have told her that. If you didn't tell her you had a bizarre, arbitrary limit, how the fuck was she supposed to know? She did what she did BECAUSE YOU TOLD HER IT WAS OKAY. You can't punish her for that.

>>34142500
>Women are valued for chastity
>Men are valued for sexual conquest
And that is wrong.

>>34142502
>Yeah of course I would have done the same thing.
And that makes your behaviour a million times worse.

>>34142514
>The equivalent would be running out and buying 3 hookers in a day and yes any woman would be disgusted and concerned about STDs.
If she had told him it was okay to do that, she couldn't reasonably get mad at him for doing it.

>>34142531
>Like let's say a girl is dating a guy, and then the guy says, yeah so I raped someone. She never communicated that he's not supposed to rape people. But still, maybe it's not a good idea for her to continue engaging with him.
You're seriously equating having a threesome with RAPE? Seriously?

>>34142540
>My takeaway is that you were a huge dumbass and you're mad at her for a situation you created.
This anon gets it.

>>34142543
>The terms of your "casual" relationship was that you were free to date and fuck whoever you wanted. Why does her end of the contract come with strings that you never told her about?
This anon gets it.

>>34142570
>The percentage of men who can have sex with three different women of at least average attractiveness (women don't hook up with uggos or fatties for ONS), including a FFM threesome, is into the decimal places.
And?

>>34142687
>A women getting ganged by strangers is not the same as a guy fucking two women.
A woman having a threesome is IDENTICAL to a man having a threesome.

>>34142154
Hoes gon' be hoes so I couldn't blame Tammy

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>>34142506
>Having sex with 3 strangers in 24 hours including a gangbang is ridiculously whorish.
Man, both of you are just jealous.

>>34142705
>Is the woman supposed to hear about a MFF threesome and think "Wow, this thing he'd be mad at me for is so hot. It's okay that he did it because we're different."
For one, you generally don't bring up your war stories to your gf same as she shouldn't for you. If it does get to that point though, in my experience women don't experience disgust the way men do, they just get jealous. I have yet to hear of a woman leaving a man because his past sexcapades were too extreme; to the contrary, pre-selection being the weird animal that it it, those girls usually get more clingy and defensive over their man. It can still ruin a relationship, but it's two different emotions with two different reactions.
>Men need to eat more, so it's fine if I do it. That's just how it is.
I mean that's literally true? Men are bigger on average with more muscle mass and can indeed eat more calories, so even if it's not great for a man to gorge himself it still isn't as harmful for him as it would be for a woman?
This is the retardation of the "everyone's equal" liberal worldview. Even trying to make an example of how something is "equally bad" for both sexes, you still end up contradicting biological fact. You can just say "I'm not comfortable with the reality that male and female promiscuity have different consequences" and STFU after that.

>>34142154
Regardless of what you did with other girls, the bottom line is that it clearly bothered you. Enough for you to break up with her. Lean in to those thoughts and feelings. Listen to that little voice inside you. It doesn’t sound like you have a problem meeting women. Another one will come around sooner or later.

>>34142771
>A woman having a threesome is IDENTICAL to a man having a threesome.
You are either a liar, a fool, or a woman.

Which one is it?

Note that I am not saying it is ok for a man to have a threesome with 2 women, nor is that what I want personally, I want one woman, but it is very clearly different. You really shouldn't need it explained, it is rather intuitive.

Men value women's bodies, who has touched them, and who gets to touch them in a way some women seem to misunderstand.

If a woman finds out her partner is having an affair but is trying to cope, what does she ask? Do you love her?
If a man finds out his partner is having an affair but is trying to cope, what does he ask? Did you fuck him?

We are different and both men and women do understand this. Women do not detach from sex and use it just for pleasure like men do, and if they can, they are fucked up and obviously not good long-term partner material. This is why men being a manwhore is not seen with the same disgust by women (even though most still don't like it) as a woman being a slut is by men.

For a man, a woman who is a slut is like -50 points.
For a woman, a man who is a slut is like -10 points.

It really shouldn't need to be explained. It is like trying to explain to an asexual man why men love women's asses. lmao

> I was playing the field and sleeping with other girls, too.

Bruh. Rules for thee not for me.

>>34142771
>The percentage of men who can have sex with three different women of at least average attractiveness (women don't hook up with uggos or fatties for ONS), including a FFM threesome, is into the decimal places.
>And?
Mass replying retard doesn't actually have a rebuttal as usual.
Let's say there's a chocolate cake in a special box. Women can access the box and eat the cake whenever they want. Meanwhile if a man wants to open the box and eat the cake, he has to perform some ridiculously hard task.
Who has more discipline? The man who worked for the cake consciously so he could eat it? Or the woman who can just open the box and take it whenever she wants?
Who has more restraint? The man who knows it might be years before he gets to eat the cake and so has to keep working, or the woman who opened the box instantly and just ate the cake as she pleased?

>>34142154
>I am a manwhore and sought out a whore gf because muh dick
>wtf bros, why was she a whore?
kys moron

>>34142817
I mean ultimately it does come down to this,
OP got himself a ho and is surprised she's no good as a housewife. Now he's learning the hard way why some women are in the "fun only" category.

>>34142817
yeah honestly this is the truth of it. He must have known she was this kind of girl to be ok with him and that whole lifestyle. Can't turn a whore into a lady.

>>34142796
>Men value women's bodies, who has touched them, and who gets to touch them in a way some women seem to misunderstand.
>If a woman finds out her partner is having an affair but is trying to cope, what does she ask? Do you love her?
>If a man finds out his partner is having an affair but is trying to cope, what does he ask? Did you fuck him?
none of that is true. you're insane or your mom is the dumbest whore I've ever heard of

>>34142251
>I suspect the real problem here is that you're jealous: you can't stand the fact that she was able to have a threesome with two hot guys, and you weren't able to have a threesome with two hot girls.
Not OP but my reaction to this situation wouldn't be jealousy, it'd be disgust. The fact that you think it's jealously tells me you're some bluepilled faggot who doesn't understand the true nature of women.
Any average looking woman could arrange to be spitroasted tonight. It wouldn't even be hard, she'd just have to go down to a college bar and flirt with some jocks and it'd happen that night.
Having a threesome with two hot women as a man, without paying hundreds of dollars for hookers, is a tremendous effort that very very few men can pull off in the first place, without getting into the logistics and timing of it.
For men, not having a threesome is the default.
For women, not having a threesome is about restraint.

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>>34142531
>wife her up
ofc not bro, lmao. imagine your son asking how you courted his mother and you have to lie because you know she was getting spit roasted and eiffel towered before getting donkey smash by a third guy WHILE you were dating. Situations like these remind me why Christianity is the only path and it's a narrow path.

>>34142840
>none of that is true. you're insane or your mom is the dumbest whore I've ever heard of
It's universally true and you're coping
I can give you one source right off the top of my head - "Not Just Friends" by Dr. Shirley Glass. Glass is a FEMALE psychologist who studied relationships and infidelity for decades and what the other anon said could have been lifted verbatim from her book. "Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends" by psychologist Bruce Fisher also talks about this when mentioning the role of infidelity in divorce/LTR breakups.

>>34142154
You shouldn’t have been sleeping with people while dating her and she shouldn’t have either. Living that kind of lifestyle is the antithesis of love, and you wouldn’t ever be able to love or trust her again after what she did. You did the right thing by breaking up with her, and I hope you hold yourself to a higher standard (that is, you had better not go and sleep around while dating someone).

>>34142840
Not that guy, and you're full of shit.
My grandma said exactly the same thing years ago. She was saying that, hypothetically, she could have forgiven my grandpa cheating on her, but only if he didn't love the other woman.

>>34142265
It's very annoying when we get reddit slop tier answers in here.

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>>34142840
>none of that is true. you're insane or your mom is the dumbest whore I've ever heard of
Don't talk about my mother like that you 4chan degenerate. I will give you a good slapping.

And I'm still right. The fact you would insult my mother only highlights it more.

>>34142687
>People need to stop using hypocrite as an obvious negative/breaker/gotcha for male-female relationships.
OP here. This one really resonates with me.

People in this thread constantly bring up hypocrisy. Women will openly say they want a guy with a good career, high income, status, strength. They expect the guy to pay on dates. They want a guy who is a rock emotionally.

"Oh you're such a hypocrite, you want a man with high income, but you don't have high income! You want a guy who's emotionally stable, but you're emotionally all over the place!"

Or the example somebody else brought up, a dangerous situation happens, the woman runs away, if the man runs away or behaves like a pussy, that's an instant turnoff or ick for women. Are they hypocrites then?

>>34142856
>ofc not bro, lmao. imagine your son asking how you courted his mother and you have to lie because you know she was getting spit roasted and eiffel towered before getting donkey smash by a third guy WHILE you were dating

That's the thing that annoys me the most. Like I could accept an MMF threesome in the past, 5 years ago, whatever. But why did she have to ruin the whole story? With us both exploring options and sleeping with some people we're dating our origin story could be "we both dated around in the early stages, but then we fell in love with each other and ended up marrying." But no, she had to get spitroasted, and how can I live with that? "Yeah so I took my wife on this romantic dinner date, then the next week she got spitroasted by a bunch of strangers and fucked by a third dude, and the week after I took her on this beautiful sunset river walk." WTF

I feel like most commenters don't get that this is not about jealousy. This is disgust, and just extremely disrespectful to our courtship phase. Like I said, I'd be fine with her giving it up to another guy who's courting her, putting in effort. But giving it up to 3 strangers in 24 hours is just cheap AF.

OP again. Also I hate the "but you didn't communicate this!" Yeah I didn't. Because like I said, I was fine with the occasional sex on a date, or a hookup here and there. "And now you're punishing her!" I'm not punishing her at all. I'm just deciding that this behavior is really unattractive, I'm revolted by it, and this is not the behavior I want in a long-term partner. Nobody is owed a relationship, and deciding that this relationship is not for me is not a punishment.

Girls intuitively know this. It's like if they are starting to see a guy and then he behaves like a total pussy, or doesn't protect her, or shares something revolting, like e.g. spending all his money on OnlyFans or prostitutes. Girls won't say, "oh I didn't communicate to him that I want him to be a strong respectful man, it would be unfair of me to punish him by not wanting to sleep with him anymore." They'd just leave.

>>34143089
>origin story
>our courtship phase
>disgust

Dude, why are you jonesing for everyone’s support and approval so bad. Yes, your girl was a whore. You got the answers you want, so fuck off lol. Your girl got spit roasted and went back for seconds the night after with another guy. Someone else will take your sloppy seconds once you drop her, since apparently she’s decent enough for you to still be whining and bitching over the whole situation.
>she’s such a whore guys i’m SO disgusted

I think you’re actually just pissed you fell for a slut. Whomp whomp.

>>34143089
>This is disgust
>But giving it up to 3 strangers in 24 hours is just cheap AF
Then why make the thread? Seems you already know how you feel and this has changed your opinion of her. You can't get past what you've learned and it makes you think less of her, so let the end be the end. You just want people to tell you what you want to hear at this point.

>>34143099
Okay but it's not that you DIDN'T communicate. You DID communicate, and said you were okay with her sleeping with other men as long as you could also sleep with other women. Surprise surprise, she did.
Despite everything, you already know how you feel about all this. Just move on.

>>34143089
>With us both exploring options and sleeping with some people we're dating our origin story could be "we both dated around in the early stages, but then we fell in love with each other and ended up marrying." But no, she had to get spitroasted, and how can I live with that?
Did you communicate any of this to her?

>>34142154
>Should I try and get back with her?
Yes, you fucking moron.
What she did was fucked up by jeopardizing your health, but no harm no foul.

>>34143099
>Girls won't say, "oh I didn't communicate to him that I want him to be a strong respectful man, it would be unfair of me to punish him by not wanting to sleep with him anymore." They'd just leave.
You could just choose to not sleep with anyone until you're exclusive! Your problem is entirely self inflicted

>>34142154
This makes me feel scared and unsafe.
I already heavily dislike and feel immensely jealous of the fact that women have access to intimacy the second they desire it, but to hear this just sends me over the edge.
I would get away from her, I would protect myself as a man. There is inequality in this world. A man getting sex is an achievement and should be lauded. A woman getting sex is disgusting and shouldn't be lauded.

Differences?

One repeatedly raped a baby
The other defeated Thanos, Mecha Hitler, and double Satan

You did the utmost most righteous thing. I'm sorry I'm blackpilled to the max. My next gf is getting jaded, I'm going to cheat on her as much as I want and prioritize myself first. I will never, ever be alone again like this. Yes I got cheated on. Yes I was exposed to the horrible reality that women can just get it easily and I can't. It was 5 years.

>>34143099
>or a hookup here and there
>"We're not exclusive, so you're free to date other people and have sex if you want, but only if it doesn't make me feel bad. No, I'm not going to tell you what things bother me, you should just know and not do it out of respect for my feelings. We're not exclusive though."
lmao.

>>34143115
This really is the man version of women's "you should just know and I really think it's funny that..." bullshit.

>>34143102
>>34143104
You both have a point. I'm just worried I'm throwing a good thing away over something that doesn't really matter. I'm worried I'll regret it down the line. I want to get other peoples' perspectives.

Plus my friends and family saying I overreacted and I should go talk to her.

Like honestly, a few years ago I would have been like, if a girl sleeps with anyone else while I'm getting to know her, I'm out. Now that I'm more mature, I realize that it's just how dating works nowadays, and girls take some time to fall in love, and that if you'll demand exclusivity off the bat, you signal scarcity and lose the high-value girls.

So I'm trying to get some perspective whether this is indicative of a character trait that is bad for a long-term partner, or whether I should just try to get over it and get back with her.

Like I said, before I heard this story, I was really happy with her and the whole relationship.

>>34143115
>>34143123
Serious question, do you guys actually date in a liberal city? If you tell a girl in the first few dates that you want to be exclusive, lots will bail. If you say "hey so here are my instructions for what I accept in your sex life: You can have sex with a guy who puts exactly this amount of effort in, but not with a random stranger at a bar. You can have sex with one guy but not with two." Girls will be like, "what the fuck dude, we've known each other for two weeks, who the hell do you think you are telling me who to sleep with?" (And they have a point.)

I never said she broke any agreements. It just feels disgusting and disrespectful. I want to know if I should get over it or let it go.

>>34143131
One minute, you're saying she's a disgusting whore that you have no respect for, now you're saying she's this great girl you're worried you're throwing away. Pick a stance.

>>34143131
>signal scarcity
>high-value girls
> indicative of a character trait that is bad

Motherfucker are you incapable of thinking on your own

Do you think anyone here has a crystal ball and can tell you the future

We don’t know you or this fucking girl dude. No one here can make this decision but you and you are farming other people’s opinions because you are too much of a pussy to think and decide for yourself. Do you love her? Do you want a life with her? Can you forgive her and care for her despite this? Decide this shit for yourself you stupid brainless fuck

>>34143145
Yeah, I agree with your hypothetical women, that is pretty fuckin weird. Be exclusive or don't.

>>34143145
To expand on this. If I'm getting to know a girl, and we're not exclusive, I don't mind her having sex with some people. But if she has sex with 50 people in 3 months, I'd be like, woah, something's off, that's not my cup of tea. Is this another case of, oh, "you need to communicate this"? Do I need to sit down at the first date with every girl and say, "hey, you're allowed to sleep with at most one guy every month"?

>>34143155
Most people do communicate whether they're looking for exclusivity or not within the first couple dates. And if you were actually serious about her you should have asked her to be exclusive. But you wanted to fuck around, and now you're mad she also fucked around.

>>34143131
>Like honestly, a few years ago I would have been like, if a girl sleeps with anyone else while I'm getting to know her, I'm out. Now that I'm more mature, I realize that it's just how dating works nowadays, and girls take some time to fall in love, and that if you'll demand exclusivity off the bat, you signal scarcity and lose the high-value girls.
Any girl that is fucking other dudes while dating you is not "taking the time to fall in love" she is assessing her options and disrespecting you.
>>34143146
He has mixed feelings about her because she is hot and he was hitting it.
>>34143145
If you have to ask, let it go. Is this the mother of your children here? This who you want with you the rest of your life? no, obviously not.
>>34143155
You are cuck signalling to her or telling her you don't value her by saying something like that. A woman doesn't feel desired and loved by a man who is like "oh yeah we can kind of start dating but if you want to give to other men, sure" lol. Women want to feel like he wants her, that he doesn't want any other man touching her.

Honestly you disrespected the fuck out of her by saying something like that "oh you can fuck other men, I don't care". You just told her she is meat to you, not a love interest. ridiculous

>>34143145
>It just feels disgusting and disrespectful.
Is this about her, or you? She wasn't your girlfriend, she wasn't betraying you. If she decided to pick apart your sexual/dating history and found something that made her act the way you are, would she be valid for that?
>>34143155
>I don't mind her having sex with some people
>Do I need to sit down at the first date with every girl and say, "hey, you're allowed to sleep with at most one guy every month"?
That isn't your business. Unless you're committed, dating, exclusive, going steady, whatever you want to call it, it isn't up to you what the other person does. At any point where you're "getting to know someone" they could just ghost you and never speak to you again, and yet you think during that same period, you can dictate how much sex they can have. You're not together. It doesn't matter what they do that you disagree with.

>>34143146
>One minute, you're saying she's a disgusting whore that you have no respect for, now you're saying she's this great girl you're worried you're throwing away. Pick a stance.
I do respect her. I don't mind her actions in general. If she had done this before meeting me, I'd be fine with it, even if I'm not a huge fan. But I feel hurt, treated like a chump, and disrespected. Like I said above, if I tag-teamed a girl and she told me there's a guy she's been dating for 4 months who puts in a lot of effort, I'd be like, poor dude, sucks to be him, haha.

So I feel conflicted, because on one hand I don't think she did anything super bad, as in she's a bad person bad. But it feels like if I accept this I accept feeling like a sucker.

>>34143163
>puts in a lot of effort
That's a really weird phrase. I think you need to rethink relationships.

>>34143162
>It doesn't matter what they do that you disagree with
Clearly does though doesn't it. People care a lot about what someone they want to tie their life too has done in the past. lol

>>34143174
Everybody has a past. There will be something they said or did that you disagreed with, potentially. You learn to decide what you can live with.

>>34143158
>You are cuck signalling to her or telling her you don't value her by saying something like that. A woman doesn't feel desired and loved by a man who is like "oh yeah we can kind of start dating but if you want to give to other men, sure" lol. Women want to feel like he wants her, that he doesn't want any other man touching her.
Look, no disrespect, but I think you're missing something. Women constantly fall for fuckboys, who have this aura of "I don't give a fuck about what you do, I have my own options etc.". Girls love that, and they fall for these guys all the time. Whereas the guy who asks for exclusivity on the first date signals neediness and scarcity and gets ghosted. Girls fall for the guy they feel like they conquered.

>>34143166
>That's a really weird phrase. I think you need to rethink relationships.
Tell me more. I think planning good dates, picking the girl up, etc., are signs of effort that are appreciated.

>>34143163
>I don't mind her actions in general
>because on one hand I don't think she did anything super bad
But it was bad enough for you to break up with her.
>But I feel hurt, treated like a chump, and disrespected.
You. Weren't. Officially. Together. She didn't do anything to you. She didn't fuck those guys to hurt you. She did it because she wanted to, because the terms of your "relationship" told her she could. It sounds like this is more about your ego and less about her the more you talk. It's funny that your entire dilemma assumes she'll even take you back and that's it up to you to decide if you get back together after you dumped her. This really seems like an ego issue on your part.
>But it feels like if I accept this I accept feeling like a sucker.
Do both of you a favor and let it go. You're one of the most wishy-washy, flipfloppers I've ever seen. You have no idea what you what or how you feel.

>>34143186
That is because they think they can hook him, prove they are the one worth settling down for, acting uncommitted and that you might go for other women is not the same as what you did. Being told "you can fuck other men, I don't care" is a high level of disrespect and low-valuing them. The only women that like that shit have numerous issues.

>"I don't give a fuck about what you do, I have my own options etc.".
That is generic, and focuses on the man having options, not endorsing her to have relationships and sex.
>Whereas the guy who asks for exclusivity on the first date signals neediness and scarcity and gets ghosted
You need to spend less time online. And also not what I said. You explicitly told her "You can fuck other men while we are figuring out whether we might be together". Women love vibes, women love implication, they do not like an explicit announcement that you consider them so low and not worth possessing that other men fucking them is really no biggie.

>>34143189
>It's funny that your entire dilemma assumes she'll even take you back and that's it up to you to decide if you get back together after you dumped her.
Yeah I don't know if she'd take me back, but that's kind of irrelevant, is it? I need to decide if I want her back. If I decide I want her back, I tell her, and if she says fuck no lol, I have my response and move on.

>You have no idea what you what or how you feel.
I literally said how I feel:
> But I feel hurt, treated like a chump, and disrespected.
To which you said,
>You. Weren't. Officially. Together.
I know. But it's how I feel, so what do I do about that?

>>34143186
>I think planning good dates, picking the girl up, etc., are signs of effort that are appreciated.
Those are normal things. You are acting like someone who wants a nice date, not some superman. That you adding those things up in your mind smacks of entitlement. Like a manchild whining that "I picked up my socks, that's got to count for something, right?!"

>>34143195
>You explicitly told her "You can fuck other men while we are figuring out whether we might be together".
I don't know where that assumption comes from.

We were non-exclusive, which is the default in liberal cities. We never discussed exclusivity. Which means that we were never exclusive. I never told her "you are free to go out and fuck as many people as you want, I don't care". I'm not an idiot. Okay, maybe I am, but I am not that big of an idiot.

OK, you dumb fuck it goes like this - either you both agreed to sexual exclusivity, or you STFU. Either you accept she is allowed to live her sexuality as she choses, or you STFU. Either you respect her choices, or you STFU.

>>34143196
>Yeah I don't know if she'd take me back, but that's kind of irrelevant, is it? I need to decide if I want her back. If I decide I want her back, I tell her, and if she says fuck no lol, I have my response and move on.
>"Sorry, I thought you were such a massive whore and it revolted me so much that I had to dump you, but I'm over it now. Want to get back together?"
You're an idiot.
>But it's how I feel, so what do I do about that?
You do nothing. You already ruined it.

>>34143198
>I never told her "you are free to go out and fuck as many people as you want, I don't care"
Being exclusive means you date and fuck that one person and no one else. You only have eyes for each other. What do you think is means if you're not exclusive?

>>34143198
I think you might be too dumb to learn at this point. You are stupid, she is a whore, and you are stupid.
>uhh liberal city, uhh this is what people do
don't care, irrelevant.
>uh everyone else beats their wife.
sigh

>>34143114
I feel bad that whoever wrote this thinks it's an effective troll
Everyone knows that Mecha Hitler and double Satan are enemies and would be on opposing sides with Thanos as a neutral party at best
You're a dumb faggot who should be raped to death by niggers, unironically

>>34143197
It's also normal for most women to not get piped by three different men 24 hours before "going exclusive"

>>34143439
No Quebec posters.

>>34143431
It's not a troll I mean it
Women are sick
Also you smell Rajesh and your takes on Mecha Hitler are gay, I hope Abdul Al nadfart al jahari takes you in the ass and makes you lick his hairy unwashed gooch

>>34143489
>undoes his reddit spacing to look more like an actual not third world user
Ok trooner

The people pointing out that men's and women's actions *are* judged differently are failing to make a valid point. What you need to be doing is saying that men's and women's actions *should* be judged differently, and providing a valid justification as to *why* they should be.

>>34143089
>But why did she have to ruin the whole story?
Because "the story" only existed in your head, you didn't tell her about it, and she isn't psychic so she had no possible way of knowing about it.

Do you actually understand that she wouldn't have done this if you hadn't told her it was okay?

>>34143941
>she isn't psychic
A thing I find amusing about this story is that OP has done all of the things that men on here constantly complain about women doing. He exhibited massive double standards; he displays totally illogical thinking; he expected to know by magic what he was thinking without telling her. And the entire situation was basically one gigantic shit test: he told her it was okay to fuck other men (and fucked some other women himself) and then, when she made the mistake of actually doing the thing he told her it was okay to do, he flew into a rage and announced that she'd failed the test and dumped her.

That’s absolutely disgusting OP I think you made the right call.


But you also shouldn’t be a hypocrite.

>>34143924
the why is self-evident. men and women are different therefore they have different roles, different standards, different expectations.

>>34144111
>the why is self-evident
Stating that something is "self-evident" is something people do when they have a position they know they can't justify.

Lmfao.

>>34144136
What kind of masturbatory thought process is this?

I've never been in an actual relationship but this is a thing I'll never understand.
>the next day broke up with her, saying I can't see her as my girlfriend after this
Like if something bothers you in a relationship, regardless of how rational or irrational it is, why not just talk about it with your partner?

>>34142154
>What should I do? Should I try and get back with her?

I think both of you would do good together. You both come from promiscuous lifestyles, you both can renounce your old ways of life and mutually build each other in virtue and dignity and both of you can became something new together, something pure in the ashes of the old impurity.

If you had been more sexually conservative you'd have more of a justifiable reason to find complaint. But you had slept around a lot too, you are from the same cloth.

Yet despite you and her coming from the same cloth you both hit on something real and something more akin to love than lust. I think there's a good and honest opportunity for both of you to take that and build on it, where both of you can become understood again as ex-degens who made something virtuous together. What's holding you back is 'pride'. Your pride is hurt, and as a man pride is our achilles heel, I'm a man who understands it well. Just remember that your pride can blind you from what's in front of you. What's in front of you is a girlfriend who put in 1.5 years of her life to devotedly try to love you, who did not judge you for your past sins. Try and find the value in this

>>34144189
If you stop to think about it even for a second, you'll realise that claiming something is "self-evident", in the context of an argument or discussion, must necessarily be false 100% of the time. If the thing in question actually were self-evident, you couldn't be having an argument about it: the other person would take one look at it and realise it was true. The simple fact that the other person doesn't agree with you about it means that it isn't self-evident, by definition.

In practice it's always a useless, bad-faith argument - an attempt at proof by assertion ("I am proving this is true by stating it's true"). People only ever resort to saying that something is "self-evident" when they don't have any actual evidence.

>>34144204
>Like if something bothers you in a relationship, regardless of how rational or irrational it is, why not just talk about it with your partner?
The problem with that, anon, is that it would require people to behave rationally and maturely.

>>34144245
To be honest it took me about 2 years of therapy for my personality disorder to figure out that talking to people is actually an option you have, so I can't blame anyone

>>34144276
>talking to people is actually an option you have
I don't think it is

>>34144370
I didn't either

>>34144374
How did you change yourself to be not afraid of them. I actually still am. I usually don't take advantage of those opportunities.

>>34142216
>I feel disgusted and can't look at her the same way
do what you will but just make sure you realise this is a 'you' issue, not a 'her' issue.

>>34144204
If you say “I view you as a whore, I’ve lost all romantic desire for you, and I don’t think it’s coming back” then it’s pretty much the same thing but worse.

>>34144468
polyamorous people love using “facts don’t care about your feelings” whenever one of their partners starts to feel shame, disgust, anxiety, or any other negative emotion

>>34144461
Having a professional gently nudge me in the correct direction for a long time helped a lot. I'm not sure how well I can facilitate this kind of change by myself yet, but I'm working on it and making some progress.
It's totally normal to be shitscared to trust people, making yourself vulnerable and being absolutely clueless when and with whom you can do it. At least in my case it was based on 20+ years of bad experiences with people, so it takes a lot of effort to step by step slowly build up a tiny repertoire of positive experiences you can rely on.
I'm also still really fucking scared of these opportunities and missing many of them. This kind of change takes time.
>>34144478
that's why you shouldn't formulate it that way, obviosuly

>>34144486
>polyamorous
>people

>>34142154
Probably dodged a lengthy divorce in the future. If u dated a girl that was willing to get spit roasted by two dudes then fuck another a day after... all while you pay for her shit... proooooobably would've cheated on u if she hadn't already... I'm no expert though u should def listen to ur cucked family bro.

>>34142154
So I've read the whole thread and I understand that you feel disgusted by your ex's """adventure""" before you getting together because of the work you'd put into courting her for several months before that, but:
1. You've said you were both in a "non-exclusive relationship" and I'll be straight with you, it's not a real relationship and this thread's existence is one of the reasons why. It's just a bunch of dates and hookups without any commitment, basically FWB but with much less sex.
2. You feel like her getting ran through is disrespectful towards you because you were serious about the relationship and you put a lot of effort into courting her, but like I said it wasn't a real relationship and there was no commitment so there was no reason why she'd ever feel obliged to... not being loose?
Also if you really were so serious about this whole thing then why'd you ever consider going after other women? You had your fair share of flings during that period haven't you?
3. You're both living in a liberal city, you judge her by liberal standards, there's many unspoken things you consider to be true. Do you judge yourself by liberal standards and do you think it's fair for her to judge you so as well? Maybe you're not really as liberal as you think you are and you should take a step back and reconsider your own position on relationships? You've put a lot of emphasis on the courting period, you've mentioned it several times, that's very romantic of you to think you have to earn and prove your love to a woman, I like it personally. But it's very convenient for you to go after other girls at the same time, opportunistic even. Aren't you just a traditionally-minded man with loose morals trying to get what you want from the world around you?

>>34144873 cont'd
4. You praise your ex a lot. Seems like she hasn't cheated on you at any point since you've gone "exclusive". If she's so great AND she's stayed loyal since, then what's the fucking problem really? Any man would kill for a faithful bombshell.

>>34142800
bRuh... stfu nigger.

>>34142856
Just wanted to say I fw this gif

>>34142966
UR MOM IS FAT FUCKING WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE
(not original anon btw)

>>34144227
I get what ur saying, but in OP's situation I'd suspect this girl (like most) know the difference of sleeping around and testing the waters vs "I love dick so i'm gonna fuck three dudes, two of em' at the same time".
We can get detailed about it, but at the end of the day women aren't retards who don't know any better, and that kind of behavior signals they're more likely to cheat off of basic impulse and not genuine infatuation; indicating the risk of cheating is gonna be substantially higher.

>>34144216
I wanna say ur right Anon (i'm not OP) but the difference is still in gender. Sure, OP shouldn't have slept around either and made it clear they were to be exclusive from the get go; but it comes down to men being able to go into that next stage of monogamy with (typically) more impulse control.
Not every woman is a monolith, but most lack that kind of control to become a housewife after sleeping around so much and her getting tag teamed indicates she not only has low impulse control, but she probably won't be nearly as committed as OP in the future. Think about when they have kids and are tied down, breaking things off now likely saved some headache.
Again though, I don't think men should be whorin' around either as it lowers their value (having the ability but not engaging is ideal) but more so for women because they have easy access vs men.

>>34142247
>Now I'd be crawling back after previously breaking up
Dude, you said SHE was doing that
>Anyway, the next day broke up with her, saying I can't see her as my girlfriend after this. She was shocked, upset, tried to negotiate, begged, pleaded. Said she's happy to take a step back, we don't need to label things, she just doesn't want to lose me. I stood my ground.
Keep playing the cool detached guy imo. Say you're open to her coming back into your life somehow, but not so lovey dovey.

>>34142526
NTA but sex is literally the one most important thing to "real relationships." It is the one thing you can only get out of your monogamous partner and the most intimate thing a human being can do with another

>>34144990
This interpretation doesn't fit the facts. More likely, I think, is that she wanted to be his girlfriend from the start. He made it crystal clear to her that he DIDN'T WANT an exclusive relationship with her and started fucking other women. She said to herself "oh well, if he doesn't want anything other than casual, I suppose I may as well make the most of it". A while later he suddenly announced he wanted to be exclusive after all and stop fucking other women. She was overjoyed, because that was what she wanted all along, and instantly agreed. She was completely faithful from that point on. A while after that he asked her some stupid questions he couldn't handle hearing the answer to, and naively she told him the truth because she didn't want to lie to him. The truth was "Because you said it wasn't exclusive and you were fucking other women, I did go with other guys." OP then exploded and dumped her.

OP's explanation for this boils down to "I know I said it was okay for you to fuck other men, but I didn't mean it was okay for you to fuck other men LIKE THAT" - this, despite the fact that he freely admits that he would have done exactly the same thing that she did if he'd had the chance to, and that he would have expected her to be okay with him having done it. So basically, they agreed to be non-exclusive, but in his mind there were a whole bunch of extra restrictions on her that didn't apply to him; and despite the fact that he didn't TELL her about any of these extra restrictions, he still dumped her on the spot for breaking them.

Honestly, OP does not come out of this well at all. If she were on here asking us if she ought to get back together with him, I'd be telling her no, because she deserves better.

As for OP, he needs to learn to COMMUNICATE. Even he would have to admit that she wouldn't have done what she did it he hadn't told her it was okay.

>>34145034
>her getting tag teamed indicates she not only has low impulse control, but she probably won't be nearly as committed as OP in the future.
OP freely admits he would have done exactly the same thing in a heartbeat if only he'd had the opportunity. How, in your mind, does that mean he has better impulse control, is more likely to be faithful, and will be more committed?

>>34144873
>2. You feel like her getting ran through is disrespectful towards you because you were serious about the relationship and you put a lot of effort into courting her, but like I said it wasn't a real relationship and there was no commitment so there was no reason why she'd ever feel obliged to... not being loose?
OP here. I think there is a common misunderstanding in this thread, like there is an "obligation to not being lose", "she didn't break any rules", "you're punishing her", etc.

I fully agree she didn't break any rules. It's just that my intuition says that it exposes character traits that I wouldn't want in a girlfriend.

A good girlfriend, I think, is a girl who when faced with insecurity about the relationship, says "hey, what are we?" and allows the man to say, we're exclusive. This girl, when faced with insecurity about the relationship, went to trade her body for male validation elsewhere.

Like, will the technicalities continue all my life? There will be times where I will be stressed and won't be able to give her all the attention she wants. Will she come to me and say, "hey, I'd love to spend more time with you"? Or will she have a "technically allowed" flirt with a coworker, or put on a skimpy dress and go to a bar, and if a stranger hits her up, she's "just having a drink at a bar, is she now not allowed to talk to people anymore?" And I will never find out about all of these things, and if and when I ever do, she "technically didn't do anything wrong" and "I was distant that week and she didn't know where she stood with me"?

Basically, I want a girl that makes things easy for me, and whose actions consistently strengthen the relationship. Not a girl who will say, well if I don't get what I want, I'm gonna dance on the edge of what's allowed, because it's his fault that he doesn't make me feel secure.

>>34145255 cont'd
OP again. Many comments imply I went into the dating phase proudly announcing "hey, just to be clear, feel free to fuck anyone you want". Obviously not. Dating in liberal cities is non-exclusive by default.

The "good" girlfriends I've had in the past, after a few weeks started reaching out all the time, wanting to hang out more and more, eventually asking "what are we" etc. I think those are traits you want in a girlfriend.

She was distant and always let me come to her. I feel like it's wrong to try to "lock down" a girl that through her actions shows that she wants to be free. So I was like, aight, if you want to be free, be free. If you want to be fun material, you'll be fun material.

Eventually, after like half a year, she finally started to show initiative, ask what we are, etc. That's when I started to move things towards a relationship.

I don't want to be in a relationship where the girl's like, "well unless he locks me down I'll hoe around, so he'll get scared and will feel like he has to lock me down". If I see that behavior, I'm like, why would I be scared? I'm not trying to lock somebody down who doesn't want to lock me down.

>>34143162
>If she decided to pick apart your sexual/dating history and found something that made her act the way you are, would she be valid for that?
Yes it's valid, and they do, women hate virgins/inexperienced men and aren't really shy about sharing this. After all, if you couldn't get women before, something must be defective with you.
Both issues can be worked through, a man having reservations about a woman being a whore and a woman having reservations about a man being a loser.

>>34143198
I was in your position recently. Here's what you do, as a man
"I like you a lot. I don't want to hurt you. I can't date you right now. But I'll see you. Just let me know if you start seeing someone else. I'm not really interested in that."
Then if she starts testing you don't fold.
These women want to fuck around. You don't want her to. They actually like that, a man that wants them to want only them. So out of "fairness" you can't control her and tell her not to be with other men since you're technically not a thing. But let her know that if she does that you'll drop her, at least as a serious romantic partner.

>>34145273 cont'd
She even told me about how previously other suitors tried to lock her down and how she rejected them, feeling that they're boring and she doesn't feel anything for them.

Whereas with me, she said she thought it was hot how secure I was, how I had this IDGAF attitude.

I feel like maybe she is just so ran through that she can't respect "good guys" anymore, and can only respect aloof guys who implicitly signal that they have options. I get it, if you're the girl who constantly fucked with frat boys and fuckboys who don't give a fuck about you, the "good guy" who says he wants to be exclusive on date 3 just doesn't seem exciting.

You could say I'm the winner, because in the end I did "win" the hot girl who does everything for me, but the question is, do you even want a girl that is so messed up that she takes interest and vulnerability as a sign of boringness and low-status? Or should you categorize her as fun material only and look for a girl that tries to lock you down early?

Because I can't be the aloof, detached cool guy all my life. There will be times when I'll be stressed or vulnerable. If she feels like she has me "fully locked down" and there's no danger anymore, will things get boring to her? Will she get the "exciting" male validation through "technically allowed" behavior and I'll be the last one to find out?

>>34145300
>"I like you a lot. I don't want to hurt you. I can't date you right now. But I'll see you. Just let me know if you start seeing someone else. I'm not really interested in that."
OP here. How did this work out for you?

FWIW, that's basically what I did. Maybe I could have phrased it better, but I told her I'm happy to continue seeing her, but it won't be dating. I don't see us in a relationship anymore. Text me when you want to see me. This was 6 weeks ago and she hasn't texted.

I'm like, I probably could hit her up and fuck her. But knowing myself, I'll get attached and confused. And basically you said yourself that I shouldn't "date" her, i.e. see her as a serious romantic prospect. So what's the point? I'll just get attached and hurt all over again, no?

>>34145315
It sounds like you're a loverboy trying to be a fuckboy. Just approach dating looking for a serious relationship exclusively. It does mean you'll have less sex, but I think you'll be happier overall. You might think you can still fuck around on the side while you look for something serious, but quality women who you'd actually want a real relationship with are going to see that as lowering your value.

>>34145342
Honestly you have a point. I feel like the liberal city dating environment pushes you to be a fuckboy – it's easy, you get crazy sex with hot girls. But it doesn't make me happy.

But being a loverboy is fucking difficult. You get ghosted, you get boring girls and boring sex, and in the end, you might end up wifing up a retired whore anyway, just one who's smart enough to lie about her past – so what's the point?

But I agree that my nature is a traditional romantic loverboy, and acting this fuckboy persona is draining and makes me unhappy.

>>34142154
>To be fair, I was also hooking up with other girls around then.

Shut the fuck up then. You're both whores.

>>34145315
t actually went pretty well. We started off really well, she introduced me to her parents quite early on (we both live with our parents so it was necessary in a way). Naturally I had reservations because she's 6 years older than me and was a slut before whereas she was only my second sexual partner.
Eventually I met a sweet girl when I was working backstage on a stage production. I went on a few dates with her (felt bad about it because I'm sensitive to the other girl). They didn't go anywhere because other girl was saving it for marriage and I realized quickly I wasn't interested in a serious relationship with her (but she was hot and we did make out multiple times). So I cut it off with her.
Original girl was very upset when she found out. But I explained everything and told her I literally chose her over the other girl (true, and it's not just because of sex I actually like (love) her and being around her, despite her hoeishness). I even offered a formal relationship. She declined because of reasons, but we kept seeing each other.
Fast forward a few months, I start talking to another cute girl backstage. Of course at this time other women get jealous and start slandering me. She hears about all this while out of the country, calls confused and hurt, I express my frustrations. When she gets back I clear everything up. By the time she does I've already stopped talking with this cute girl too btw. Anyway we go out with a real bang, two weekends with the most intense sex. She admits to me it's basically just because her shitty friends don't like me that she can't be with me anymore.
After our "last time together" (there had been a few last time togethers) we chatted for a few weeks then she stopped replying. I knew she had found another guy. 2 months later I confirmed this. Some pudgy autistic guy no less.

>>34145315
>>34145456
She started talking to me again and told the other guy and he was pissed and cut her off. This distressed her, quite pathetically. She confided in me that although he was weird and bad at sex she started "romanticizing a life with him." Like she had done with me. We had a big coming together and I thought we were going to be together for real. Until I found out she never formally cut things off with him. So I told her not to contact me until she had done that. Well she didn't contact me for about 2 weeks. In which a terrible sinking feeling began to take hold of me. So I got on a dating app and actually had luck for once. And then she came back to me saying she cut him off fairly soon after that but had waited to message because she needed space. I broke the news that I had already set up a date with another girl out of town, what could she expect? She had led me to believe that she wanted nothing to do with me by not responding, and I had made that clear beforehand. So I went on that date and fucked that other girl who was younger and hot but still, I liked my hoe better.

>>34145315
>>34145456
>>34145459
So one weekend she goes out of town to visit family/friends and it's the second weekend I go to see that other girl -- during which btw, she does some stuff to turn me off of her -- and in that weekend she meets some guy who takes her on date which she describes as "not wanting to end." I'm of course hurt by this but now I'm starting to think, whatever, we won't be together forever, at least we can be fuckbuddies until she trades up to this guy in the bigger city, and I get out of this place again. Anyway we see each other for a few months while she confides in me that he sends her weird reptilian conspiracy theory reels on instagram. Whatever. At some point in December we're starting to be lovey again, we were both going through stressful times and then she stops cold. Sends me one last text that reads like a customer service response: "Hope you had a good day!" leaving the sweet question I had asked her unanswered. That sinking feeling again.

>>34145315
>>34145456
>>34145459
>>34145462
I don't flood her inbox. I just wait until she messages me. All the while I feel like shit. I wanted to be there for her, and wanted her to be there for me. And that wasn't happening. So after a week of getting ghosted I realized I was just going to disrespect her back and be done with it. I would at least do it directly, treating her important enough to warrant it, instead of pretending she wasn't even a person to me. So I gave her a short notice via text (she quickly responded) and came to her place and she instantly started talking about herself and so I calmly listened and made sure she was in fact alright before I took off her glasses and gave her a slap. She told me to leave and I did. The next day or two, she came back to me. I explained why I did that. I think it's not ok for me to do that, which is why I did that. Because it's not okay for her to do what she's doing either. We reached some sort of understanding, and had hot sex. The day later she tells me, in short, " Actually, that's really not ok, and I need space." 3 days later on NYE I see her out with the guy from her dms, whose name I knew, even though she never told me, because he came up on her phone once when I was using it to change music. Got the poor guy to drive 6 hours for her. I'm sure she put out though.

>>34145315
>>34145456
>>34145459
>>34145462
>>34145465
That night I tried to find them again (I only saw them briefly, but unmistakably) -- much props to my friend who I dragged around a bit on this escapade. I wasn't going to be confrontational. Just say hello to my good friend with, address the other guy by name, and ask her if she took the pill I gave her the last time I saw her (birth control).

As I write this post that's where we're at. I did message the guy on social media and told him no hate, and shared when I last saw her and that she had told me that she "just needed space" and didn't tell me his name or anything but how I knew. Because I would want to know if I was him.

She still hasn't responded to me. I wonder if he saw my message and how he must've felt. Maybe he doesn't care. I bet he does. It's crazy to me. I'm sure he bought her drinks and they went on a little romantic walk before they fucked. He didn't all through that that four days prior my balls were slapping against her face. And she liked it.

>>34145315
>>34145456
>>34145459
>>34145462
>>34145465
>>34145468
Be careful man. All I'll say is that >>34145342 is right. I've realized I'm absolutely a loverboy trying to be a fuckboy. I feel like I have to in some regards, because I think it's impossible to find a woman who hasn't hoed around. I've never been with a woman who has the same or smaller bodycount than I. I would at least feel better about being with a hoe if I was a hoe myself at some point. As it stands I just end up feeling like a sucker. All I can say is, dignity is worth a lot. Seek to protect it in your interactions. But don't let pride be your downfall. This woman, because she is an attractive woman, can get sex much more easier than I, an attractive man, can. She makes me feel unimportant. Everyone wants to feel important. Maybe she can make me feel that again. Maybe not. I've accepted that she may not, and I feel better. If I want a beautiful woman, maybe I'll just have to recognize that I'm more disposable to her than she is to me. And work every day to rectify that as best I can.

>>34145468
He didn't know that*

>>34142154
Leave. Do not settle with her even exclusively.

No matter what these faggots think, men and women are not the same. Men are meant for breeding, women are meant to be bred. If a woman is being bred by multiple men, thats emotional issues and lack of a dad. Instead of a temple, her body is a walmart cause she lacks the discipline to keep it sacred.

She will do it again and you will absolutely be cheated on. Ive seen this happen way to many times with some young fag thinking "shes had a lot of dick but she will be faithful to mine".

Sorry anon. Women are meant to be selective with mates, Men are meant for having many mates. Yea people bitch and act like the two genders are equal blah blah if this was true, women who have alot of partners wouldnt fucked up mentally.

Youve already decided though but you will always have that doubt.

>>34145255
>I fully agree she didn't break any rules. It's just that my intuition says that it exposes character traits that I wouldn't want in a girlfriend.
You admit that you would have done exactly the same thing if you'd had the chance, so you have those exact same character traits. But you expected her to be fine with her boyfriend having those traits?

>A good girlfriend, I think, is a girl who when faced with insecurity about the relationship, says "hey, what are we?" and allows the man to say, we're exclusive.
She did exactly that, it's that you were too busy fucking other women to answer her. On top of which, she *wasn't* your girlfriend at that point, and the two of you *weren't* in a relationship, because you were fucking other women.

>Basically, I want a girl that makes things easy for me
Then take your penis out of other women, talk to her and tell her you want her to be your girlfriend. If you'd done that, none of this would have happened.

>>34145273
>The "good" girlfriends I've had in the past, after a few weeks started reaching out all the time, wanting to hang out more and more, eventually asking "what are we" etc.
Were you openly fucking other women at the time?

>So I was like, aight, if you want to be free, be free. If you want to be fun material, you'll be fun material.
And she did exactly what you told her to, and you blew up and dumped her.

>Eventually, after like half a year, she finally started to show initiative, ask what we are, etc
So she did, in fact, do exactly what you wanted her to as soon as you stopped openly fucking other women? Are you sensing a pattern here?

>>34142324
Nah it's different. When a man gets cheated on he's dealing with competition and even a potential successor.
When a woman gets cheated on she's just dealing with a other companion/cum rag.

>>34142345
That reminds me of some sick lyrics
>You're so self-righteous
And you're never gonna change
You're dead and lifeless
You're a pawn within the game

>>34143924
>What you need to be doing is saying that men's and women's actions *should* be judged differently, and providing a valid justification as to *why* they should be.
It's been repeated many many times in this thread, your retard ass is either being willfully ignorant or you are just retarded.
A man organically getting a threesome is hard and uncommon. It is not just a circumstance any guy finds himself in. If a guy can manage to have a threesome with two attractive girls, it's a sign of high value because women will not just fuck any old guy let alone share him and his potential resources.
Meanwhile, even below-average women can have threesomes with attractive men any time they want. Men can and will fuck anything that moves, and would be willing to "share" a woman if it means getting a nut. For a woman, getting fucked in a threesome is a sign that she has low restraint, because getting spitroasted is the default option for her. The thing she actively needs to do is to NOT get fucked, to turn down the advances and show some restraint. And restraint is valuable in a woman because of the obvious risks casual sex poses to women - pregnancy, harsher symptoms for STDs, emotional damage, etc.
Men have to BE ABLE to have threesomes, women CHOOSE it
Man who is able to have threesomes = high value
Woman who chooses to have threesomes = low restraint

>>34142154
Is this sort of dating seriously the norm?

I'm 36 and haven't dated or had a gf since ei was like 21. Usually I would be seeing someone and if we were feeling it we would just stop seeing each other than onto the next person.

This is all so bizarre and scary to me. Is this what I expect a person I meet to be doing and am I expected to be doing the same too?

>>34146540
Speaking as a man who has had a threesome with two very attractive women, it's nice that you view me as "high value"; but unfortunately nothing that you say here makes the slightest sense.
>restraint is valuable in a woman because of the obvious risks casual sex poses to women - pregnancy, harsher symptoms for STDs, emotional damage, etc.
A woman having casual sex causes "emotional damage"?
Lol.
Lmao even.
Have you ever actually met a woman?

>>34142154
You were in an open relationship, of course she fucked more than you did. You're male, and have significantly lower sexual market value than 99% of women your age. Live with it or die alone

>>34146681
OP here. If you're in a modern liberal city, and you're targeting attractive women, yes.

Every attractive girl, at any given time has a roster of interested guys. She may or may not be sleeping with a subset of them, but most girls do. Most women have some sort of rotation of FWBs to get their sexual needs met.

When you meet one of these girls and you ask for exclusivity right away, you'll drive them away. It signals neediness and scarcity.

You need to play it cool for a couple of months, go on dates, have consistent sex, and eventually they'll fall for you and will indirectly ask for exclusivity ("what are we?").

There are exceptions, of course. The serial monogamists who only have sex in relationships. But they are taken off the market almost immediately, because once they break up, there is a line-up of interested guy "friends" willing to slide in. So unless you're willing to simp for a girl in a relationship for an indefinite amount of time for the off chance her relationship ends, you're out of luck.

Or you can go for the unattractive ones, they don't require any games and you can go exclusive right away.

>>34146838
>Most women have some sort of rotation of FWBs to get their sexual needs met.
aka she's for the streets

>>34146760
>A woman having casual sex causes "emotional damage"?
Yeah it turns her permanently into a harlot duh? These types of women are unfit for LTR

>>34146838
So how do I slide in as one of these rotation guys lol.

There is a girl I'm kind of interested. She's not the hottest I've had but damn her personality really gets me but I get the vibe she might be one of these types who just "dates" orwhatever. That's basically code for rotation type situation right?

Also how do you play it cool? We work together and flirt and be playful but havent hung out outside of work. Besides one party where we made out then it kid of got awkward for a bit. But then now we are kind of getting back to casual playfulness at the workplace

>>34146870
>Yeah it turns her permanently into a harlot duh? These types of women are unfit for LTR
None of this is remotely true.

>>34146871
OP here, clearly I'm not the expert seeing as I'm in this terrible situation, but here's my take:

0. You're already over-focused on her, that's bad. 90% chance it won't work out with her, so being so emotionally invested in her already is bad.
1. Ask her out on a date, i.e. "let's get drinks sometime outside of work, when are you free next week?" If you get rejected, no big deal, move on.
2. Go on the date, have fun, banter, let her speak most of the time, ask about her passions, hobbies, dreams, family, blablabla. Touch her. Get her back to your place, have sex.
3. Wait for her to reach out and set up the next date. Same thing, "let's get together, when are you free?" If she doesn't reach out, reach out yourself after a week or so and set up a date.
4. Repeat indefinitely until she asks "what are we?" Until then, you're a free agent and should be seeing other girls.

But yeah, don't get your hopes up. Don't tie your happiness to one specific girl that you haven't even had sex with.

>>34146886
Roastie/Cuck cope

>>34146760
>Speaking as a man who has had a threesome with two very attractive women
I'm not inclined to believe strangers on the internet, in fact I think you're lying, but if you're not and you didn't pay for it then it's not a very common occurrence, at all.
>unfortunately nothing that you say here makes the slightest sense
Great, I'm glad you gave such a thorough explanation of why it doesn't make sense. You're definitely not a retarded brainlet.
>A woman having casual sex causes "emotional damage"?
>Have you ever actually met a woman?
Yeah, I've met plenty of brain-dead baggage-laden hoes, that's how I know riding the cock carousel fucks them up.

>>34142154
That's how easy it is for her to fuck other guys, just walk away from her and all that begging isn't going to change anything. Those guys could hit her up during your relationship when she's feeling pouty and get ran through again and again

That's why get tested asap with these sluts, they're dirty af and think slut shaming is a male cope.

>>34146870
Talk about "proof by assertion". Holy shit.

>>34147088
>I'm not inclined to believe strangers on the internet, in fact I think you're lying
Maybe you should be a bit more sceptical about all the stuff about women that you are parroting, just because strangers on the internet told you it was true? I'm tempted to greentext the story just so, when I get to the end, you can insult me and thus blow your own logic out of the water (about men who have MFF threesomes being "high value") but I doubt there's a lot of point: you'll believe what you want to believe, not what the evidence actually suggests. The fact that you think pregnancy is a higher risk when a woman has casual sex than when a man does tells us everything we need to know about your logical abilities.

>>34142154
You sound like a Playa, so why are surprised you got played? Kek

>>34142154
I get where you're coming from and don't think there's any dilemma honestly; you found out more about here, made a judgement based upon what you value in a woman, and made a decision based upon your totally subjective and personal value judgement. Nobody else can tell you what values to have, and sometimes you don't understand someone else's values until later. Sucks it took time to get there, but much better than staying and finding out later, or allowing this to breed resentment/insecurity/disrespect. You're the kind of guy you are, she's the kind of girl she is, and clearly you've decided that those two things don't mix. Now you know more about what you're looking for in the future. Dating "casually" is probably going to get you into more of these kinds of situations, however, so maybe ask yourself if your actions are actually leading to what you're looking for; i.e. if you're looking for a girl to be exclusive with, make things exclusive sooner, or at least communicate what you expect/want early on so you can actually agree on boundaries or stop seeing one another. She didn't do anything wrong, neither did you, but what you're doing/how you're doing it isn't going to get you what you're looking for. You're opening yourself to promiscuous women by being promiscuous yourself, and playing the field for months on end before locking someone down. Whether you feel promiscuity is "different" for men than women, this is the dynamic you're inviting by what you're doing.

>>34142321
It's more like a guy having a threesome with prostitutes. Women can get sex anywhere easily and she chose to be a rampant whore. I wouldn't wanna date someone like that.

>>34147609
>Women can get sex anywhere easily
So, are you saying that if a devastating attractive Chad has a threesome, that makes him a disgusting whore, but that if an unattractive man has a threesome it's okay?

You see the problem? Chad can have sex with no effort at all at any time - even more easily than a woman can. If having sex is wrong when it's really easy to have it, that must apply to men as well. If it doesn't apply to Chad, then the fact that women find it easier to get sex than unattractive men do can't be relevant. So which is it?

>>34147646
Your logic is still wrong. The best Chad still has to put effort in, women do not

Literally every single woman on earth is like that and wouldn't turn down riding a dick carousel, so it's just a question of if you think you could find one that's a better fuck or not.

>>34147670
>The best Chad still has to put effort in
No. You've clearly never watched the way women behave around a genuine Chad. There was a guy I knew at university - when he was out drinking women he had never even spoken to would LITERALLY come and sit in his lap without being invited.

>>34146681
In america yes.

>>34147448
OP here, really appreciate this comment.

So why is it that I'm so conflicted? My brain tells me I'm being completely irrational. I knew she's had group sex in the past and was cool with it. I knew she was seeing others and didn't love it, but was cool with it. So why would the combination be this unsurmountable dealbreaker?

I feel like I made a choice in the heat of anger/jealousy/disgust without thinking it through. I felt like I'd always hold this against her and become a toxic bf.

But now with some distance I feel like, damn, did I just throw away something great because of something that doesn't really affect my relationship? Like with some distance I realize this wasn't about me at all, just her having her version of fun.

I'm reading posts online where people break up because their partner had sex with somebody else like around their third date, and I'm thinking, you guys are ridiculous. But I don't see how it is fundamentally different here.

Still, I don't know how to let it to, and whether I SHOULD let it go or whether it's a valid gut reaction that I should listen to.

>>34147836
I worry that down the line I'll feel like, damn, you've let a good one go for something that lots of girls would have done in her situation, and most girls would have lied about. And that I'll feel like an idiot.

But also if I go back now, (a) I feel like a chump crawling back and worry about losing her respect, and (b) I still don't know if I could look at her with the same love again or whether I'd be a toxic resentful piece of shit.

>>34147329
>Im tempted to greentext the story just so, when I get to the end, you can insult me and thus blow your own logic out of the water
I mean your creative writing has nothing to do with anything. If two women decide to have sex with a man, and there are no money or drugs involved, there must be something especially appealing to those women about that man. "Value" here doesn't refer to net worth or achievements, it refers to sexual market value, the only thing that matters in discussions about getting laid.
>The fact that you think pregnancy is a higher risk when a woman has casual sex than when a man does tells us everything we need to know about your logical abilities.
Holy shit, are you actually dumb, are you actually fucking stupid? Can a man get pregnant? Can a woman walk away from sex resulting in a pregnancy the same way a man can?
You have a lot of nerve talking about "logical abilities." You honestly are typing like an emotional women trying to defend slut behavior, I don't know why since there are no women on 4chan. Maybe you're just that much of a feminized bluepilled pussy.

>>34142154
your text structure indicates reddit
your psychological impression indicates beta leftoid blue-pill retard.
maybe you find out one day.

you had a great fuck-buddy.
i think you should get her back.

>>34147996
>maybe you find out one day.
Find out what?

>>34148011
truth.
red pill yourself.
but make sure to be far away from your gf when the rage hits. you can be with her afterwards, again.
but then... most content is shit. so best of lucks!

>>34148011
>>34148018
>>34148014

>>34148018
Bruh I'm familiar with red pill, it's nothing new to me.
Knowing about it doesn't make things easier unless you want to live the jaded fuckboy, spinning plates life, which I find empty and depressing. I feel disgusted by myself when I sleep with women I don't like.
I want to build a family one day.
With this girl in the beginning I was like, yeah, Imma treat her like a casual hookup. And see where it got me, being heartbroken, feeling cucked, and seeking advice from anons.

>>34146540
>A man organically getting a threesome is hard and uncommon
For what it's worth, this gf offered to have threesomes (with another girl) with me. So what is it, am I high value because I can have threesomes? Or am I low value because I got cucked? Or is it just that girls like sex, and wild girls like group sex?

>>34148074
>For what it's worth, this gf offered to have threesomes (with another girl) with me. So what is it, am I high value because I can have threesomes?
You seem to have no problem getting laid regularly with attractive women, so yeah you objectively have high sexual market value.
>Or is it just that girls like sex, and wild girls like group sex?
Wild girls do like group sex and that's the whole point. You don't want a wild girl as a wife.
You as a man have to be doing a lot of things right to get sex regularly. You mentioned in the OP you got your girl presents, planned nice dates, etc. you obviously have some game. Since getting tail regularly is pretty much impossible without taking care of yourself, you probably also look nice, take care of your body, take care of grooming, etc.
What does your lady friend have to do to get guys? She has to exist, and not be fat and stinky. That's it. I'm sure she looks nice and does her makeup and hair etc but at the end of the day if she showed up to a bar in sweatpants and a scrunchie hairdo she could still get double-piped that night just by existing near horny men.

Also you didn't get "cucked." You weren't in a relationship. You're right to be disgusted that this girl had a "one last hoorah" night and got dicked by three separate dudes, but you didn't get cucked.

>>34148088
>You seem to have no problem getting laid regularly with attractive women, so yeah you objectively have high sexual market value.
But see my reality doesn't feel like that at all. Yeah I can have sex with women, but I don't like most of them, and the ones I like are usually taken or not interested. Every few years a girl randomly spawns in my life that is amazing, available and interested. But in between it feels like a desert. So it's weird that allegedly I'm this high-value guy, but most of the time I'm lonely and depressed.

>>34148088
>You don't want a wild girl as a wife.
Can you expand on that? Intuitively this makes sense, but why? Higher infidelity risk?

>>34148088
>What does your lady friend have to do to get guys? She has to exist, and not be fat and stinky. That's it. I'm sure she looks nice and does her makeup and hair etc but at the end of the day if she showed up to a bar in sweatpants and a scrunchie hairdo she could still get double-piped that night just by existing near horny men.
The way I rationalized away her "hoe phase" past and group sex encounters in the past was like this:
It's degen behavior for a girl (like you said, easy to attain, impulsive, etc.), yes. But so is sitting at home all day, jerking off, playing video games, smoking weed, whatever, for a guy.
Most girls would likely not be attracted to the latter part.
But I used to do all of that, and even nowadays often I'm a lazy bum and play videogames or waste time on the internet.
My rationalization was, degen behavior by itself is obviously not great, but what matters is your overall life. I do degen behavior sometimes, but I still have a strong career, have my finances in order, go to the gym, maintain relationships with my family and my friends, etc.
So yeah, slutting around is degen behavior for a girl, but if she has the rest of her life in order, and is a good, pleasing girlfriend, it's fine.(?)
I would also not like to be judged as a failure and bad partner just because I'm a lazy bum sometime.

>>34147978
>Holy shit, are you actually dumb, are you actually fucking stupid? Can a man get pregnant?
OMFG, seriously? You cannot be this dumb!

If a man is having casual sex, who do you think he is having casual sex *with*? A woman. A man having sex with a woman isn't less likely to result in a pregnancy than a woman having sex with a man. Quite the opposite, in fact. If a woman is having casual sex, she can take the steps needed to make a pregnancy essentially impossible. If she's on the pill, and she's been taking it regularly, and she doesn't vomit or get the shits or eat something she shouldn't, the chances of a pregnancy are less than 1 in 100,000. And that is something that is completely under her control - it does not require her partner's cooperation.

But if a man has casual sex with a woman, the best he can do is use a condom. If it splits, he's fucked. And most of you idiots probably wouldn't even use a condom!

>Can a woman walk away from sex resulting in a pregnancy the same way a man can?
Of course she can, you fucking moron! She takes Mifepristone and Misoprostol, and the pregnancy is gone! And again, that process is something that is 100% under her control, and there's nothing whatever that he can do to it interfere with it.

By contrast, the man who got his casual partner knocked up has absolutely no control at all over whether the pregnancy results in an actual baby. And if it does, he will be on the hook for child support payments for the next 18 years.

So to summarise....

Woman having casual sex: chances of pregnancy - virtually zero; long-term consequences if it somehow happens - none.

Man having casual sex: chances of pregnancy - significant; long term consequences: significant chance of massive financial damage for the rest of his adult life.

So, tell me again: who is taking the bigger risk here?

Jesus, you people are so stupid, it's painful.

>>34148074
>Or is it just that girls like sex, and wild girls like group sex?
This. Obviously.

>>34148088
>What does your lady friend have to do to get guys? She has to exist, and not be fat and stinky. That's it.
This is fantasy. Stop believing memes.

>>34148191
>Jesus, you people are so stupid, it's painful.
These people have carefully constructed a narrative of victimhood and will protect it until their last breath.

>>34142154
>Sex is off the charts, she gets me gifts, always wears lingerie for me, lets me dominate her in bed, etc.
uh she does that for every guy she comes across. you're not special.
>she had an MMF threesome one night, and then the next day sex with another dude, so 3 guys in 24 hours.
is this girl really gonna be the mother of your kids?

>>34147836
>I felt like I'd always hold this against her and become a toxic bf.
Well, you could always try not holding it against her, and not becoming a toxic bf.

You act like you have absolutely no control at all over your own emotions. How old are - 14? That's the way a teenager's brain functions. Of course, in the heat of the moment, you often feel things you shouldn't; everybody does. But, as an adult, you look at what you're feeling, realise that it's not actually appropriate or helpful, and over time you change what you're feeling. It takes a while for emotions to catch up with logic, but eventually they do. If you're not capable of doing that as an adult, that's something you need to work on.

Do you consider yourself a Christian? One of the most important concepts in Christianity is forgiveness: you have to forgive people who do bad things to you. It's important to understand that forgiving something DOESN'T mean approving of it. It doesn't mean saying "What you did was okay." It means saying it "What you did was not okay, and it never will be okay, but I am choosing not to be angry about it any more." It means choosing to let go of anger and hurt instead of letting those things define and control you. Christianity is very clear that God will not forgive you unless you forgive other people. Those are the words of the Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us."

Even if you're not religious, the ability to forgive is a vital life skill. Certainly, no relationship can survive more than a few days if you can't forgive things that the other person has done. Not being able to forgive means spending your whole life seething with anger and hurt. Forgiveness is what lets you say "What you did wasn't okay, but I am choosing not to let that matter, because being with you is too important to blow up completely just for that. I am choosing not to be upset any more." If you can't do that, you'll never have a successful relationship.

>>34148191
Wow look at all that retarded REDDIT SPACED cope
> man having sex with a woman isn't less likely to result in a pregnancy than a woman having sex with a man. Quite the opposite, in fact. If a woman is having casual sex, she can take the steps needed to make a pregnancy essentially impossible
>he best he can do is use a condom. If it splits, he's fucked. And most of you idiots probably wouldn't even use a condom!
Ok then why do the vast majority of black children grow up in fatherless households? Almost like the man can dip out that situation far, far, far easier than the women.
I'm not saying it's right or responsible, but you're fucking retarded if you don't think men can and do duck out of unwanted pregnancies without any consequences.
>Of course she can, you fucking moron! She takes Mifepristone and Misoprostol, and the pregnancy is gone! And again, that process is something that is 100% under her control, and there's nothing whatever that he can do to it interfere with it.
Abortion is murder but beyond the moral arguments taking those hormones can and does mess up the female reproductive system. Taking abortion drugs multiple times increases the risk of sterilization.
>Woman having casual sex: chances of pregnancy - virtually zero; long-term consequences if it somehow happens - none.
>Man having casual sex: chances of pregnancy - significant; long term consequences: significant chance of massive financial damage for the rest of his adult life.
Or, you know, the man just leaves and cuts contact with the woman, like 70% of black fathers do.
>Jesus, you people are so stupid, it's painful
You're just intentionally making me mad at this point. I wish I could kill you. If all chronically-online redditors like you were dead, the world would be a better place.

>>34148275
>This is fantasy. Stop believing memes.
I'm not going to let terminally-online redditors tell me what's fantasy when I've seen girls that make Jabba the Hutt look pretty leave bars with guys way out of their league lol.
Maybe you should try going outside instead of believing these facts about reality are just meany MRA redpill memes or whatever.

>>34148118
>But see my reality doesn't feel like that at all. Yeah I can have sex with women, but I don't like most of them, and the ones I like are usually taken or not interested. Every few years a girl randomly spawns in my life that is amazing, available and interested. But in between it feels like a desert. So it's weird that allegedly I'm this high-value guy, but most of the time I'm lonely and depressed.
Ok so which fucking is it? Were you actually hooking up regularly with other women enough to feel like a hypocrite? Or were you actually exaggerating your sexcapades out of guilt and the fact of the matter is that you're basically just plugging fatties and uggos whenever you can get them?
And if you don't like most of them, why are you having sex with them? Your fucking your brain up too, just because casual sex isn't as bad for men to engage in doesn't mean you're not doing damage. I'd rather jerk off than go through the trouble of banging some chick I'm not interested in. When I used dating apps and got catfished by fatties from time to time, I'd just leave the date early.
Get some fucking standards
>Can you expand on that? Intuitively this makes sense, but why? Higher infidelity risk?
Higher infidelity risk but also the "party girl" lifestyle is directly at odds with being a housewife. Even if she doesn't cheat she's still gonna miss that life, and instead of staying home helping you with kids and the chores she's going to want to have her "girls nights" and trips and things.
If you're looking for a wife, find a virtuous woman. To find a virtuous woman, become a virtuous man. Otherwise don't settle down.

Has this guy accepted that he's a retard yet? Or is he still whining about how he doesn't know what he wants?

>>34148704
IDK man. This thread has devolved into a bunch of beta whiteknights who can't understand why it's ok to be disgusted that a woman went on a cock-gobbling rampage right before "going exclusive."
It shouldn't even be a thread. If I were OP I would have been out and never looked back, not even mentioned it to friends and family beyond "oh we weren't a good fit."

>>34142154
Dump her immediately.

>>34148623
> Ok so which fucking is it? Were you actually hooking up regularly with other women enough to feel like a hypocrite? Or were you actually exaggerating your sexcapades out of guilt and the fact of the matter is that you're basically just plugging fatties and uggos whenever you can get them?
What's with the anger my man? I never said regularly. But yes. I slept with 3 other girls in total before going exclusive. They were attractive (one was an Insta influencer) but either bad in bed or I realized I don't like their personality, so I stopped seeing them.

>>34148715
> It shouldn't even be a thread. If I were OP I would have been out and never looked back, not even mentioned it to friends and family beyond "oh we weren't a good fit."
You have a point. I would have said the same, objectively, if this wasn't my situation. I guess it's just this cognitive dissonance that I love her and my brain is trying to do mental gymnastics to avoid the loss. I should probably learn how to accept my decisions and stop obsessing. Thank you.

>>34142195
Lmao. She didn't technically do anything wrong to OP, but she completely disgraced herself and treated herself like a common whore, and that's terrible.

>>34148578
>>I felt like I'd always hold this against her and become a toxic bf.
>Well, you could always try not holding it against her, and not becoming a toxic bf.
Look, I get it, I sound like a retard. But I know myself, and I've been in situations in the past where my gut knew things don't feel right to me for one (unfixable) reason or another, but I ignored that feeling and said "but she's amazing, this doesn't make sense, why should I leave her over this?" I tried to control my emotions, and it works for a whule. But over time I would become resentful for "having to" act like a loving boyfriend even though my heart's not in it, and I'd start to be not the best version of myself - being snappy, dreading taking my girl on dates, becoming irritated around her, etc. I'd become a version of myself that I don't like. It's brutal to a partner's self-esteem to be treated like that for no fixable reason.

I decided I don't want to be like that ever to a partner ever again, and so if my heart's not in it or my gut says something's off, I leave.

Perhaps I have some growing up to do, but this is where I'm coming from. Are you saying this is wrong?

>>34142154
No hymen no diamond.

>>34148788
>What's with the anger my man?
Because dude I feel like you're dicking us around with all these little detail and revelations. Feels like the story keeps changing and it's a little annoying
>But yes. I slept with 3 other girls in total before going exclusive
Ok well, there it is. You slept with 3 other women in the span of what, 7 months you said? (unless you're going to reveal yet ANOTHER detail). She slept with three guys in 24 hours. No matter what the cucks ITT say, that's not the same at all.

Glad to see though that you're finally coming around and getting it. My advice before you go back out into the world with your dipstick looking for wet holes again, is to figure out what you actually want.

>>34149001
>>What's with the anger my man?
>Because dude I feel like you're dicking us around with all these little detail and revelations.
I hear you, sorry about that.
>Ok well, there it is. You slept with 3 other women in the span of what, 7 months you said? (unless you're going to reveal yet ANOTHER detail).
Yes, exactly.
> She slept with three guys in 24 hours. No matter what the cucks ITT say, that's not the same at all.
Yeah I mean that's how I feel as well. Anons say I'm a hypocrite because I slept with other women as well, and I can see that. But to me sleeping with a few girls I was exploring as potential options, and her seemingly sleeping with anyone who asks don't feel the same.
But then again, obviously if I had had tons of amazing attractive girls wanting to have sex with me, I would have had a lot more sex, and I easily would have taken an MFF threesome with two hot girls, presented the opportunity.
>Glad to see though that you're finally coming around and getting it. My advice before you go back out into the world with your dipstick looking for wet holes again, is to figure out what you actually want.
Yeah, that makes sense. I want a stable, fun exclusive relationship with great sex that eventually leads to a family.

>>34149047
>But then again, obviously if I had had tons of amazing attractive girls wanting to have sex with me, I would have had a lot more sex, and I easily would have taken an MFF threesome with two hot girls, presented the opportunity.
That's kind of the whole point though, and what the cucks refuse to see. It's extremely rare for a man to be presented with that kind of opportunity, but it is women's every day reality. It is an inherently incomparable situation no matter what contrived hypotheticals anyone comes up with.
To go back to the cake analogy, if you could only have chocolate cake once a year or less, it's understandable that you would greedily devour it when you had the opportunity. If you could get chocolate cake any time you want, if you choose to take advantage of that and eat it all the time then you're just being a pig.
Anyone who doesn't like the fact that men and women live in different realities, can take it up with God.

>>34142154
>Other than that she's been the most loving, sweet, loyal girlfriend
>loyal

>>34149963
>civilization collapse
>man is required to secure shelter and food, and be able to kill any potential threat with just his own strength and ingenuity
>woman is required to be pretty and know how to boil water
>"We're the same."

>>34150024
We don't live in civilizational collapse, anon, and you have about as much experience building shelter, hunting food and killing threats as my cat does with trigonometry. You are the same. You are equally as useless in a post-apocalyptic scenario.

>>34150094
Miss the point and tell me about your cat some more.

>>34150103
>I'm a man and I'm better than a woman because men have to do all of these things in a civilizational collapse that I have no fucking clue how to do
By your own logic you're useless. I don't know what to tell you.

every girl Ive been with who has actually liked me stop talking to the other guys they were because they wanted me and focused on securing me. I am also the same way, once I really liked a girl I literally just dropped the other ones. Maybe she's just a turbo normie though ?

>>34150094
>>34150233
You vastly underestimate the number of schizo preppers and gun owners in general
Even if he had zero skills he'd still have on average double the upper body strength and greater cardio capacity than a woman.
You're just mad, for some fucking reason, about the reality that women and men are biologically different and this gets reflected in different social roles. I really don't know why you'd be angry on women's behalf, because there are no women on 4chan, so you much just have shriveled testicles or a button dick or something that makes you identify with women more.

>>34142154
>The other day I randomly asked her what were the most guys she slept with in 24 hours.
Dumb question, you deserve this.

>>34142266
Right, that is lying about your expectations to yourself and her.
If you truly accepted that you were not exclusive and she had just as much right to play the field as you, it wouldn’t be a shock. You might have suggested an STD panel before unprotected sex just to be responsible, or talked about who else you were fucking.
If you truly accepted that you were not exclusive and couldn’t set terms for how she has sex with people, you would have been upfront about your own boundaries and the hope of eventually being exclusive. That would mean risking rejection if she didn’t want the same thing, but it would have gotten you on the same page if she felt similar.
If you didn’t want some exclusivity, you wouldn’t feel hurt that she didn’t read your mind. You weren’t willing to admit what you really wanted.
Admitting you resent her for it is a good thing. Honestly. Talk out every stupid train of thought until you run out of them, it doesn’t matter how good or bad. It will help you find clarity. Just don’t fall into the trap of blaming her for your own feelings or it will come up in another situation. And don’t blame yourself for something in the past that bothers you now, you were a different person then. The fact that it bothers you means it matters to you and not perfectly communicating doesn’t mean you made a mistake.
If it’s a deal breaker for you it’s a deal breaker, if your family and friends think that’s dumb they’re entitled to that opinion. Maybe the real issue is that you want to feel special to your GF but don’t know how to ask a girl for it. It’s normal. Deal with your baggage so you can get over it and work with whatever you have going on right now and things will go better with the next GF, or her if you decide to work it out.