Hello, for the last decade i have learned to live alone and detach myself from sexual desires by taking a cocktail of supplements, meditating, starving myself, keeping myself busy, and subliminals. I have read and practiced various traditions of monks such as brahmacharya. So far the lust is dead and in the dirt. A useless and energy draining emotion for me. The problem is this journey nearly killed me. The constant rejection from women, and the treatment i got from them while they gave themselves up for guys objectively worse than me both motivated me and also made things far worse for me mentally. It got to the point where i took the risk of killing myself twice and thought about killing myself every day for years. I still have romantic fantasies. And looking back a lot of it was probably my fault or the fault of myself for not going to a therapist and getting them fixed sooner rather than later but my brain wont accept that. I look at the sacrifices i made to appease a group of people who has proven to me they hate me. They showed during covid that they know DAMN well what happens when someone is forced to be alone for long periods of time, they experienced a small slice of it, and then they stone cold decided to put me under it for a decade. What the fuck did i do to them to deserve that? Like if law didnt exist, i probably would have had one in my basement a few years ago. I didnt even do this out of empathy but out of fear of the police and feds. It wasnt a mutual agreement but a death threat by the state to comply or die. And even now, my sacrifice, all my struggle i was FORCED to undergo for their bullshit, is not recognized nor appreciated. I feel like the average woman just wants me dead. That is the only way they will be happy with me, is if i dont exist anymore. This has caused me to have angry outbursts or repressed outbursts to them, because i dont care if they believe they dont owe me something. They do.
>>34547077And its such a dumb way to live though because i have had potential chances with women and decided to not persue it because im not attracted to them, just like the ones i want arent attractive to me. I literally cant complain. I literally cant be mad. I dont want to be with old fat single moms, or trans women, or poly women, or fat women with a dozen mental illnesses, but to women that is me. I am equal to that. And its my fault i am that way because of my refusal to fix any of it. I literally cant complain. But my anger still grows towards them. Like i at all deserve what every guy wants. Its the classic incel dilemma and i want out of this line of thinking because its not helpful. I am sick of craving luxuries i cant get, and i want to accept that in my case that is just how it is. Its like living with a chronic illness you cant accept you have.
Found you a match.>>34547028
>>34547124How would that be my match? lmao i would just be a guy shes repulsed by. I guess it would be funny af to further ruin her self esteem but that would be about it.
>>34547124I like how her post has like 3x the responses mine does. It shows how much more valued the average woman is with this problem. A guy is told tough shit, because he cant choose, where a woman is told to keep going because maybe she will get lucky
>>34548031>I like how her post has like 3x the responses mine doesI will reply to your post soon, I just do not know where to start.
>>34548053When I say soon, maybe it will take 3 days, I will be very busy in the next 3 days, I will reply to your post Saturday, yes, definetely.
>>34547077Wait until you realize women and dating are overrated and this problem was all in your head lmao.
>>34548081Thats where im basically at, that i could have gotten what i wanted but i wasnt willing to accept what was given to me and instead ungratefully begged for better. So all this suffering was by my hand, even though it feels like it was from women. I forced myself to do all of this because i couldnt live with dating in my league. And then i wrecked myself and dehumanized myself so hard i dont think i can ever come back. Its just crazy how something thats so normal for everyone is now forever alien to me. Forever poison. That is something that is super hard for me to grasp and live with but i dont really have much of a choice anymore but to keep going.
>>34548194Furthermore its a struggle to remind myself that a majority of this shit was my fault and not a womans, but fuck do i hate them for forcing me to do this to myself. Like if i did this to them i would be in prison. But they just said no, thats all. Its hard to remind myself of this
>>34547077>So far the lust is dead and in the dirtSeems like aton of effort to basically just neuter yourself. Just go to a vet and have it done in ten minutes if you want to be rid of your balls that badly.>guys objectively worse than me Not being completely fucking insane makes them objectively better than you though.
>>34548286>Just go to a vet and have it done in ten minutes if you want to be rid of your balls that badly.Vets dont do it for humans no matter how many 20s you give them >Not being completely fucking insane makes them objectively better than you though.Im insane now i wasnt insane back then. I decided to do this after being rejected my entire life both socially and romantically. Back then my greatest sin was social awkwardness and being average height. That was im pretty sure the main thing that damned me to this. I dont think thats as bad as getting your head kicked into the wall like some of these girls get from their bfs but hey, i guess they were right. I did become significantly worse to the point of undateble, even though its a "we beat the dog and he eventually bit us" situation.
>>34548320>i wasnt insane back then>being average height>That was im pretty sure the main thing that damned me to thisSeek a therapist. A good one. Needs to vibe with you or its pointless.
>>34547077>oh ze foids rejected me>oh I'm going to kill muh selfgrow some balls faggot
>>34547077>while they gave themselves up for guys objectively worse than me>objectively
>>34548320You gotta use 50s
>>34547077If you arent going to read all of this idc, but please just read this green part below.>If you cant love yourself, nobody canTake the selflovepill anon. You aren't humble because you can self depricate yourelf and reduce your being to a scum in the drain. You are obviously bothered and haven't solved anything so drop this ''i have learned to live alone and detach myself from sexual desires bla bla''You are sad, depressed and in need of human connection. Im not saying Im above you to know/have that because as you can see we are both on 4chan. Go talk to woman you despise, have a fat gf, have a partner with 60 mental ilnesses.To help you understand, Love is Ranked in FPS's (CS2, R6 etc.) You havent played any, so you are unranked. Nobody is above you and nobody is below you. All you gotta do is learn your true worth and go up from there. Fuck, even I'll give you an advice on how to talk to them.Talking points of PANHAM:P- People A - Art (fav art, painter, NOT FAV WW2 TANK!)N - News (Current news)H - Hypotheticals (''Would you have x or y'' questions)A - Asperations (What do you plan on doing for masters?)M - Media (What's ur favorite movie?)These always yield some good starting points to keep the ball moving. Try it while you see any opportunity. Bars are a good idea. People are drunk (You included) so everything goes smoothly.
>>34549551Do you know the amount of women ive talked to who tell me their boyfriends are depressed and hate themselves and have some sort of issue? The whole "love yourself" thing is entirely an underhanded polite way of telling some rejected filtered dude to fuck off and shut up. Its the natural reaction of normal people to do, because everyone seems to understand what being alone for a long time does. And after a while its not fixable. This is also kinda like saying "to eat, you have to be full" like yeah bro, when you are lacking in something that is basically a need, im sure you will be able to think clearly and not hyper focus on that missing thing. >Go talk to woman you despise, have a fat gf, have a partner with 60 mental ilnesses.Im not attracted to them, i do talk to them, and its still a slugfest but regardless im just not attracted to them. I also know how to talk to women its just that once it goes even slightly romantic it blows up in my face and immediately ends in rejection. I only really persue this now if there is extremely clear and direct evidence she wants it and that hasnt been the case for over five years. Its been immediately no. Plus im not asking to find a gf, that ship is long since sailed. I am asking how to not be mad at women for putting me in a subhuman situation so brutal even they would kill themselves over it.
>>34549632>once it goes even slightly romantic it blows up in my face and immediately ends in rejection.Could you speculate as to why?
>>34549645Women have more options plus dont need to be with anyone they dont absolutely have to be with. If anything women are abandoning men more than the other way around
>>34549701Goodness me, what a twist!It's because they all want Chad, and you're just a nice normal guy.Such a raging injustice, really.
>>34549712Im not asking how to get a girlfriend im asking how to live with the fact i basically wrecked myself to live without women. The reasons dont matter. I made my choice now i have to live with it since i am too far gone. How do i deal with the anger i feel towards this choice? And the fact i was judged apparently fairly if we are really going down that road
You need to save up money so that you can quit your job and go to universitythere you can date, go to parties, have hook up etc. and establish normal life
>>34549723Im too old for that. Again this ship has sailed, im not asking how to find women. Even if i did find a woman i literally cant get hard anymore and the love i could possibly show is also dead. I feel nothing but hate towards them for this because now i feel inhuman and i feel like they forced me to be this way for reasons that are too long to list here. Im asking how to live with my past choices that led me to this. And how to accept i am apparently worse than every single guy ive met who didnt have to do this and didnt have to learn to be alone forever. I mean i could make all the money i want, improve all i want, but ill never ever get a woman to want to be exclusively with me. Any guy who has a loyal girlfriend blows me completely out of the water in value in my mind which shows such a pussy worshipping mentality.
>>34549721>>34549776Get a drug addiction or something. As you are all about avoidant behaviours instead of facing your issues, that would be the ultimate soultion. Just upgrade from gooning to fent, in a year you will be too busy selling your bussy for the next hit to worry about women, and in two years you won't even feel your legs rotting off. Have fun!
>>34549927Because I can't solve the issues because it's not just a few issues but who I am as a person. I would have to change not just my entire personality but me on a genetic level. It can't be done.My main rage at women is that they got to enjoy the good life while I sacrificed my mental and physical health for their benefit. And it wasn't even like a voluntary thing. I did it under threat of prison and death. Why am I not entirely entitled to them when they consciously decided to put me through hell for no reason other than I didn't meet a requirement they probably read on tiktok ten years ago? Like it's just fucking frustrating. I could have been something but they decided no, no I won't.
>>34547124kek
