Whats the most effective way to convey to women on tinder that I like fat women (chubby to bbw) in a way that wouldn't repel them from me? Do women even read bios?

Does changing preference filters a lot and swiping no on a lot of people affect how many likes you get on the Hinge algorithm?

I hate and love having yellow fever

I'm so hopeless. I find I'm in the peak of my attractiveness. I'm at the library earlier, writing down definitions of words I had to look up in the novel I'm reading, and when I got up to return a pencil to the side station, I notice this pretty girl staring at me. Okay, noted, let's see if she puts up more signs.

So I go back to reading and somewhat watch her as she slowly browses through the rest of the fiction section. After about 20 minutes, she comes out with three books, and right as she's about to pass me and head toward the checkout station, she pauses, pulls out her phone, checks it, then sits at the table right next to me. Alright, now this is really overt.

I know all I have to do is turn my head, say hello, and my trajectory of my life will change. Not necessarily that she's the one, but at the very least, could be one of those special experiences in a man's life. All I have to do is say something, I know that's what she's waiting for.

Problem is, I have literally nothing to say. I say hello, and then what? I've been single and asocial for so long, I've lost my skill. So I'm reading and she's on her phone, and after a little while, she gets up, then sits back down yet again, no doubt giving me another chance. I still have nothing for her. So she gets up a final time, walks by me, and stops again! to browse her phone for another minute, standing a couple feet away, waving the flag for final opportunity. And I still have nothing for her.

And just like that, our lives will go on without each other, all because I am the man so the onus is on me to approach and I failed in my duty, because I simply have nothing to say to a stranger at the library. Before I know it, I'll be 50, alone, destitute, with nothing but hundreds of memories of regret like this. Can't wait...

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>>34656545
what's your favorite part about it Anon?

>>34656546
Go to a nevada brothel to get rid of your pussy pedestalization. Then when you're calm and comfortable start talking to girls after its out of your system.

>>34656672
Most attractive man with yellow fever

>>34656694
Not him but I would never want to have to tell a girl I once did that (or lie).

Love has to be completely independent.

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>10% of the posts in this thread are zach’s

>>34657066
do you have a gf?

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>be me today, second day of public speaking class
>ten minutes early so just chilling
>girl who sits a seat away from me specifically asks me if i want her starbucks chocolate croissant
>never interacted with this girl
>take it, thank her, and make small talk about how crazy it is that the class starts so early in the morning
hint? don't really care desu

>>34657341
It's definitely a prospect to explore. Greet her and sit next to her at the next class.
Is she attractive? How old?

>>34656694
I'm not a virgin. I just spent the last few years cooped up at home so I've forgotten how to be social. I'm not sure I could say hello and conversate even with a random guy at this point lol.

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>finally match on hinge after a few weeks
>chinese milf
>PhD
>has selfie and pictures of her going out
>unverified
>messages with a simple "Hi"
real or pajeet?

>>34657356
>sit next to her at the next class
a girl already sits between us
>Is she attractive? How old?
attractive for sure and looks to be around my age

>>34657361
How long ago did you send out the like?

I'm not afraid of women saying no to my advances, I'm afraid of them saying yes. It's nerve-wracking to entertain, to be fun, to be a good date.

>>34657156
Not at the moment I don't. Maybe some time in the future I will.

>figuring out my dating goals
>want children
Well which is it bitch

>>34657389
Agreed. I don’t even ask a woman out unless I’m pretty sure she’ll say yes, so that doesn’t bother me. But I do worry about a date running out of steam early and either of us getting bored. I shouldn’t worry about this because that’s a good sign it’s not meant to be, but I feel it as a personal failure, that I’m boring.

>>34657502
Yup, you get it.

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>>34657382
yesterday

>>34657156
He's the homeless person who gives you mortgage advice, or the obese person warning you about heart disease.

>>34657561
Still valuable to learn from. People can learn from someone else's mistakes.

Good morning, today I'm going to the office, a Lithuanian 37yo that looks decent wants to makes plan after work. But I'm having pizza and drinks at the company expense and honestly I might want to chill and not see ho's.
We already got scheduled 2 first dates on Friday (beach activity with a bitch) and Saturday; might swap classic drinks for a short walk to have the evening free.
Enjoy your day

I think after my haircut and recent weight loss and my growing into my babyface, I've finally ascended to 9/10 attractiveness. I've made it, anons :)

how do I make use of my newfound twink chadness? Just go around saying "hey, wanna come over?" to random girls?

How fit do I have to be to get girls? I'm pretty lean but I'm struggling to put on any more muscle to get ripped enought for girls to like me I think.

>>34657837
If you are 9/10 go online dating and you'll be showered in pussy.
9/10 is hard to get, so jealous if true kek

>>34657885
I don't look great in pics I don't think. I do look good in video and on stream though.

I've been good-looking most of my adult life but lately I've been noticing girls outright staring, smiling, and some of the lesser attractive ones even approached, asking about the book I'm holding, stuff like that. Maybe I'm only 8.5.

>>34657916
go out and talk to girls in the mall
or tourist spots near you

at the mall i would just say hi and start normal convo for 4 minutes
lteraly dumb basic convo
like what they're doing, ther name, etc
and farm IGs / phone numbers

at tourst spots I would say h to tourists taking pics and ask them to take pictures of you
so you can build a dating app profile

with those two methods you can now receve your appointed 6.5/10 gf (hypergamy)
or tons of girls to fuck

>>34656484
Considering you’re already more likely to match with a big soft girl anyway the best thing you can do is flirt with her and mention her build in a very positive manner.
>I prefer big soft beautiful women like you
>you’re thick and thick is my type
>you’re curvy blah blah blah
You get the idea. If someone is out off by openly complementing them like that they need to really reconsider what they’re doing on the app. IE it’s a them problem if they don’t like it not a you problem.

>get zero matches on apps
>go out IRL, girls call me cute and handsome and want to talk to me
What causes this?

>>34658058
100% pictures plus bio combination
girls use pictures to conclude the following:

social competence
attractiveness
trust

as you can see attractiveness is only 1 of the 3
you have to signal the other as well

>>34658101
How do I signal social competetence and trust in a photo?

>>34658136
by having pictures that were clearly taken by friends and having a warm expression
this signals: others trust him, and enjoy his presence

>>34658157
Only one of my photos is a selfie, the rest are taken by friends except one taken by my mom.

>>34658160
take out the selfie
it's better to have 3 really good pics and that's it, than 5 pics and only 3 are good
then: make sure the backgrounds of the pictures are not some low-class scene or dstracting
are you smiling? do you look comfortable, happy, in the moment?
there's so much shit to pictures
we'll never know unless you post your full profile

How am I supposed to greet a girl on a first date? Handshake? Hug? Cheek-kiss greeting? Sorry anons, I know this must be basic.

>>34658224
>Handshake
is it a date or a business meeting?
>Hug
This is the go to but some women are retarded and dont want to do it. I usually study body language to ascertain her. Hold your arms out, let her go for the hug itself so you dont force it unto her. Hugs are nice, if she dont want them, you probably dodged a bullet.
>Cheek-kiss
is she your fucking mom or something?

Now, if she doesnt want to hug, but is still smiling and vibes are good, then I would simply refrain from doing anything and just let her decide what to do as a greeting.

>>34658270
Full hug or side hug?

>>34656471
how do I meet women without dating apps? Its very hard where I live, and dating apps would lowkey make me a pariah among my groups. going up to women at bars/pubs is lowkey impossible in my culture

>>34658302
how old are you
what are your hobbies
where do you live

these are must know before any suggestions
in america you just go to the mall or outsde bars and restaurants to meet people

>>34658320
21
I do mountaineering, I lift and i love reading. plus i can competetively drink
Turkey

meeting is easy at campus im specifically asking for outside the campus

>>34658325
book stores or coffee shops then
fitness classes or events
but campus seems to be the move bro
at 21 you can't expect to have much access to women beyond your circle or daily life
make friends with dudes at gym
they can get you ideas as well

i guess i am not that interested in dating or just casual flings. i need to get to know someone before i want to date them. i don't know how other people do it. for me it's like an all or nothing kind of thing, and the stuff inbetween just confuses and hurts me.

>>34658296
Side hug is the way to go, but really, let her decide.

>>34658325
>>34657650
If they seem asexual around you its because you're seen as unattractive. They become whores in the presence of the right guy, I've seen it myself. Used to work as a bartender for a while, the behavior I've seen was enough to blackpill me for life. Even the shy, mousy ones become whores that grope and grind. Those same girls act like royalty in the presence of their beta male friends and they even get offended and disgusted if anything related to sex comes out of the mouth of a man they don't find attractive. If a girl is ever acting appalled at the mention of women even so much as having a libido, its because the man that's even so much as going into that topic without being attractive, is deemed as a creep instantly. They will try to shame you into going back where you belong in their imagined hierarchy. They don't want ugly men seeing them as the whores that they know they are, especially in friend groups. If the ugly ones found out the girls were giving ass to their attractive male friends, that could potentially open them up to approaches from those same betabuxx friendzoned guys and they couldn't explain away the dynamic without social incrimination.

>>34658270
desu I'm autistic so it does feel like a business interview type-thing masquerading as "just hanging out".

Met a girl in another city. We nearly fucked in public last time. Was going to have her drive down to my house for our second date, but felt kinda bad that she’d have to drive an hour. Im going up there and probably going to fuck her in my car

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>>34658546
Fucking in a car is never that good. You cum and you cannot have a proper rest reset. Good luck tho
>Pic related my homo writing skills

>>34657389
This is such a lacanian insight. The closer you get to the thing that you think may make you whole the more in danger the fantasy you were enjoying is of collapsing. You enjoy the fantasy of getting this girl and taking her on a date but you hold it with too much reverence you hold it in a way that it can personally validate or invalidate your identity. It is too painful for your fantasy to make direct contact with reality so instead of going for it you want to preserve the fantasy; when you get what you want it collapses as reality sets in. Dates are far from ideal sex can be far from ideal. So what you are ultimately doing is looking for a guarantee of an outcome. A gurantee is a fantasy that doesn't exist in real life period. Period. So when you look for something that doesn't exist you are extending the enjoyment of the fantasy that you will fuck this girl "whewww made it this far I don't want to fuck it up" that's why lacans solution is to recognize that these are paper thin psychological structures that exist as a permanent symbolic world aka language. Then to act anyways. I believe hegel said that to overcome your biology you use a part of you in a way it wasn't meant for. Now to overcome (to relate differently to the symbolic world) you use your mindset in a way that it wasn't meant for. You meta view lacans graph of desire and recognize what is actually happening and then ACT regardless. You go to the girl regardless you do what you want to do regardless of how you feel.

I ate a pussy yesterday, for the first time. I went down on my GF. She tasted so good and was so tight, could only fit one finger inside.
I was amazed at how easy it was. All the parts were pretty easy to find. The only hard part was the awkward part of getting started.
I was pretty focused on giving her an orgasm, which I did, to really pay much attention to anything else but the whole experience was nice, better than expected. I was worried it would have some inner stank I was not expecting. But it smelled as good as I imagined.

>>34658570
Tldr, faggots idealize while chads act. Nothing news here.
Grab your balls

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>first date tomorrow with girl who doesn't seem to care
scared scared scared

>>34658570
nah, i just think some people have personal issues beyong idealizing someone else. e.g. anxiety of closeness

>>34658670
Ya I agree

>>34658670
It's not idealizing though that's too simple. It's fundamental structure of how our psyche works once you can see it, it becomes overly obvious and it makes religion look childish

>>34658606
That's awesome anon proud of u

>>34658692
i found it pretty interesting what someone wrote on jax as a character in the amazing digital circus' last episode, where a situation like this happens:

"Its a deeply insecure response that matches how he reacts to his parents and their own signals of affection. Jax is responding in a way that's similar to an fearful avoidant attachment style. Where a person begins to pull away when others get close.

The story where he shoves his mom and ends up hurting her is evident to that. She starts by berating him and unloading all of her negative emotions onto him. And then suddenly hugs him. Its likely because her own emotional outburst was causing her a lot of grief. But this is presumably a pattern of his parents behavior over a long period of time. So what's likely happening within Jax in that moment was a big desire to protect himself and pull away, since the mixed signals he had been getting were likely scary to him.

And then comes Ribbit. Someone who is okay expressing affection openly and genuinely wants a relationship with Jax. But this turn of events heightens emotions that Jax likely cannot reconcile yet. To Jax, who has come to expect feelings of affection and love with feelings of danger and threat, Ribbit's affectionate display signals something dangerous to him.

Jax trusts her for a while and Ribbit coaxes him into being vulnerable and opening him up. But what she doesn't realize is that as she's doing this, the trauma patterns in Jax's brain are already firing uncontrollably. Here is the love, now he's expecting pain and threat to follow it. Just like with the patterns his parents showed him. Now, because she knows Jax more intimately he struggles to perceive her as something other than a threat.

Despite the fact that Ribbit loves Jax and wanted to share a vulnerable moment with him to establish a deeper trust. Jax wasn't ready for it. And he's not emotionally mature enough to handle all of the internal conflict and turmoil that are coming up."

>>34658570
>The only way to survive in this world is by keeping alive our dream, without ever fulfilling it, since the fulfilment never measures up to what we imagine
>t.Pessoa

>>34658692

comment was too long, anyway.

i think the original post >>34658570 may make a point, but that's about it, it's one point.
>>34658704 is also very accurate to how people work, not all of them but some.

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Good afternoon

>>34658760
Saar

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Repostan from last thread for hopefully more advice:

I'm a 29yo khv turning 30 in 7 months. My goal is to have sex at least ONCE before then and dodge wizardhood. No prostitutes. Would be very grateful for any tips/advice for doing so.

Some factors:
>I'm white, 6'2, good head of hair, average face, average but somewhat skinnyfat build, ok fashion, a bit awkward and autistic especially around women but generally likeable. All being said I think I'm probably a 6/10 appearance-wise.
>I work a full-time job with mediocre pay, rent a flat in a medium sized city, have a decent social-life but most close-friends are other sexless dudes, go to various hobby clubs/classes but encounter very few women there who aren't either already in relationships or way above my age-range, and I'm pretty clueless as to how to interact with women to escalate to dates or anything intimate.

Thanks again anons.

>>34657361
She's real
It's in their nature to be boring. Despite being huge nerds, they lack social depth.

If you want to fuck her, you need to be patient. Don't kiss or hug and give her space for a while.

If she is 35+, expect texting for a month before meeting her.

Also if she is 35+ expect 4-5 dates before panties come off.

If she has children, maybe more. Idk. Some chinese girls are great and will show up at your place on a first meet (say you just made supper and invite them over. Or say you're gonna do baking, and I vite them)

You'll get to know their spirits and it'll give you that patience to run out the proverbial sex-barrier clock

>>34658848
Bro seriously will you go into those lengths for an old mid asian pussy. Good God.

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>>34658848
>"let's start as friends"
>"not rushing anything"
>you need to be patient
that i must be. she's 32
>>34658867
just like everything in life, i've gotta try it at least once

>>34658847
If you live in the PNW, I will use my good looks to help get you laid. You gotta pay the bills though.

>>34657361
I can't get enough of this pepe

>>34658889
It ain't that good. Waste of your time if you ask me, but then I'm also wasting mine

>>34658890
Appreciate the offer but extremely unfortunately I live in South Bongland.

>>34658867
chinese women are remarkable
I love them and wouldn't ever feel like I'm wasting my time unless I'm doing it purely out of desperation (I'm embarrassed to be seen with her in public because she's that old, or that ugly)

No regrets so far

>>34656694
not that anon, but that will either not work or make things worse. it's not the same as meeting a random woman and going from there

>awkward asian qt i've been talking to just mentioned she has a therapist
what am i in for?

>>34658982
All women have therapists

Cancelled Saturday bitch, was mid and too much of a hassle will chill and set the bar higher for future dates. Tomorrow is still on for the beach date, that's a different dynamic for a first date. Let's see how it goes and hopefully it's fun at least I'll swim and see boobies

>>34658890
Based I'm from pnw stuck in Silverdale shit hole rn tho not that anon but it's cool to see another fag from the wash

Cute new worker girl at five guys kept smiling at me. I'm a customer and I know everyone else cause I go so often. What's the play without making it weird?

>>34659186
Say what up and retard max

>>34658982
Other anon isn't wrong, the vast majority of them have a therapist. Some of them see someone who helps them work through their previous trauma, some see a yes man who's there to take their money in exchange for an hour long safe space for venting. Either way, keep all personal judgements about it out of the way and just say that you think its brave or mature or admirable of her to take accountability for her mental health like that.
>>34658847
The height and race work in your favor but it sounds like you aren't very attractive outside of the basic attributes. The best avenue for men who aren't exceptional lookswise is irl social game but that takes months of initial investment and expanding your social circle amongst both genders. You already have a social life and you should keep that but it'll just be a matter of putting yourself into close proximity with women on a regular basis. I suggest a weekly outing or hobby that has a strong female or balanced gender ratio. Volunteering and community classes are two good examples but you do need to commit to going and get over how awkward it feels to just be out and doing this stuff. More than anything, you need to focus on being less autistic and awkward. Being your age can make interactions with some women a cakewalk if you have any semblance of social skills.

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I said hi to my crush today.

>>34659266
Good advice, thanks anon. I am actually already doing the community groups thing and have been since the start of the year and I've become friendly acquaintances with a decent number of people at them, some of whom I now occasionally meet up with outside the specific group events. I push myself to be outgoing and can usually hold a conversation and people seem to like me, but no matter how hard I try I almost certainly do come off as a little awkward from time to time.

The tricky things I find about these settings are:
1. The attendees often slant towards middle-aged and elderly people, with people in their 20s/early-30s in the minority
2. Most women in my age range who do attend are already in relationships
3. When there are women around that actually might be eligible, I struggle to overcome the anxiety to escalate in any way out of fear of poisoning the well and giving myself a negative reputation, and honestly I don't really even know how to properly escalate - this is the main thing I could do with some tips on

>>34659222
This is my plan but when do I ask for number? I go so often I'll be seeing her probably 3 times a week do I wait until we know each other better or just do it like within the week?

>>34658670
I have this. Not sure why. But I definitely do. Recently I decided to give dating a try (early mid 20s). Made a Hinge profile. Initially my profile sucked, so I got few likes. I spent some time, made some modifications, and finally starting getting likes. Eventually I matched with a girl I thought was very pretty, and she showed interest and reciprocated. Then and there I froze. "didn't think I'd get this far". And I just retreated and pulled away.
I've had one infatuation in my life. It was during a camp while in high school. We became super close. We remained in intense regular contact after camp, and she lived relatively close to me. For all intents and purposes we were dating. Eventually, the emotion got so strong that my character defect showed its ugly face again that I began pulling away for seemingly no reason. Probably still the biggest regret of my life.
I don't think it's for any complex philosophical reason. Just a character defect.

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Now what

>>34659598
>I’m more of a lover than a fighter, but I can adapt

I'm going to a bar today.
My goal is just to talk to women.
I know I'm decent looking and clean so now I'm just practicing the talking

>have sex with girl
>suddenly she starts acting like a total bitch
Why does this keep happening?

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I did something I normally don’t do and marched with a cutie with a boring profile. As expected she’s terrible at conversation. How do you guys handle this? Normally I wouldn’t bother any further but she’s figuring out her dating goals and she liked me first and she’s hot as fuck.

>>34659476
My rec is talk to and flirt (so this is your second time seeing her), see her reception, and if positive, then on the third time ask for her number.

but if you're chad and confident then right away I guess

>>34659638
I'm a chud but I have no fear of rejection. 100% rejection rate but I still know I have a gift

>>34659636
>shes hot as fuck
Just tell her that and ask her out?

>>34659636
Yeah as >>34659659 said, just go for the "drinks this weekend?" or w/e type message after that one

>>34659659
>>34659690
Like, in those exact words?
>yes I actually am this autistic

Lost my chance with a 19 y/o BPD slut at work despite her throwing all kinds of signs my way, ignored her and was playing hard to get and before I knew it, she ended up getting transferred to a another store. I THOUGHT I HAD MORE TIME!!

>>34659604
There no girls wtf

I have great arms and shoulders I think but they are only visible if I wear a tanktop. what do I do? Tank top + linen shirt combo?

>>34660277
Please, PLEASE stay the FUCK away from women with bpd they'll suck your soul dry and leave a husk of yourself behind.

t. knower

>>34660751
ive been mentally raped by a girl with bpd so trust me when I say this. they become your whole world and leave you with nothing but angst and grief when they leave, which they inevitably will due to their condition

>>34659604
>>34660665
>anon goes to gay bar to talk to women

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>>34660762
>doesnt know baal

>>34660665
Don't make a scene and just have a drink.

>>34660775
>>34660762
I ended up running into an old I guess High School acquaintance and she apparently was super interested in like me which is weird so we just talked a ton

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>go after IRL girls
>realize none of them have as big tits as anime girls
>get depressed
What's the point?

>talking to three different girls on three different apps
I feel like such a piece of shit, how does chad do this every night?

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>>34659636
The decline of men approaching women functions like a political shock even when nobody frames it that way.
It reshapes family formation. Fewer approaches mean fewer relationships, later marriages, lower birth rates, and accelerating demographic decline. That feeds directly into labor shortages, pension stress, immigration politics, and generational conflict. Governments can pass incentives but they cannot legislate attraction or courage.

Second, it polarizes gender politics. Many women interpret non-approach as disinterest or resentment while many men experience it as rational risk avoidance shaped by social sanction, economic precarity, and fear of misreading norms. Each side builds narratives about the other and political movements harvest those grievances.

Third, it weakens informal social trust. Approaching a stranger used to be a low-level civic act that trained people to tolerate rejection, ambiguity, and difference. When that disappears, people retreat into apps, algorithms, and identity-filtered spaces which harden group boundaries and reduce empathy.

Fourth, it shifts power to platforms and institutions. Dating apps, HR departments, and legal frameworks mediate intimacy that used to be negotiated face to face. That concentrates cultural authority in systems optimized for liability management and profit, not human bonding.

Finally, it produces downstream radicalization. Large populations of unattached men historically correlate with instability, withdrawal, or extremist politics. Most do not become violent but many disengage from civic life, work, and optimism itself which is politically corrosive.

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>>34661082
The 3 of them are gonna go nowhere. That's how you do it. It's a numbers game

>>34661082
Anon, it's just talking, everybody does it, in fact, dating several people at the same time is also okay until you go exclusive after like date 3 or so. Like the guy above me said, it's a numbers game. You're already at a disadvantage as a guy, no reason to make things harder
>>34661042
Every guy should date a girl with big tits at least once in his life

>>34661082
Stacy is probably talking to 10 on one app. This is just normal. Everyone is trying to get the best match they can get.

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>>34656545
The Korean girl who's messaging me is unbelievably cute.

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>also we are still down to hangout tmrw?

>>34661347
You always confirm the day of, and you don't ask, you say something like "See you at 7 pm". Works like a charm, you know what's up and your time's not wasted

>>34661370
she messaged me that. i'm just concerned with her calling it a "hangout" even though i've been making it pretty obvious i'm into her

>>34661377
Don't stress it anon, go and see what happens

>>34658302
Ever consider social engineering?

Take a look at this lecture on social engineering, its long but I found it to be super insightful - especially if you're unable to just approach random girls on the street.

https://rumble.com/v7bqxd2-social-engineering-for-men-environmental-design-for-maximum-results-in-dati.html?e9s=src_v1_upp_a

How many dates this year guys?
I've been on 30 this year.
I have no problem getting dates
Problem, is it's mostly been with girls above 26 years old.
They seem to be the pickiest.
And ive gotten laid a total of 1 time.
With a 23 year old.
I'm 32

I just want to hear how it's been for other people

>>34661486
Dreadful, my mission to get to bodycount 10 is stalling, still at 7

Been on 1 date this year
Have lost confidence at this point.
I don’t mean to mope but does anyone have advice for a socially awkward guy. I don’t think anyone will like me back. I try to fake confidence but they can tell. How do I even find anyone as weird as me? Even the people I find who are neurodivergent are just as incompatible and want someone more normal

>>34661504
Try going outside

>>34661573
I’m outside often. I go out with friends every weekend I’m off school/work and try to find something to do. That’s not really applicable for someone in my case. You can have anxiety and be awkward while being a fairly active person

>>34661604
Just be confident and put yourself out there

>>34661619
How do I put myself out there?

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How should I interpret this reaction to me sending a pic to this girl?

>>34661093
tl;dr

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/1GQn3Cteggg

potential!

>>34661197
Problem is it’s hard to go back after that. I used to like girls with small tits. Now breast size is the first thing I check for.

>>34661093
see: >>34656546

if I see her again, I'll approach. I really should start doing it more. It's tricky, because on one hand, I hear many women are dying for more men to approach and ask them out, but on the flip, you see so many girls wearing large headphones in public as like a sign to signal disinterest in being approached -- do these ones have that many poor experiences getting approached by unattractive losers? or is it just a precaution?

>>34659659
>>34659690
please respond
>>34659983

>>34659983
>>34661961
have you not replied to her this entire time???

and yeah whatever you wanna do
>Free for dinner/drinks/(whatever) this weekend (or whenever)?

or idk how you dating app folks do things
>I'd love to cook something for us at my place.

>>34661981
With or without calling her “hot as fuck” first, I found that confusing

>>34662007
They probably meant do something like
>I think you're gorgeous, and I'm much better at conversating in-person. Dinner/hangout Friday night?

again, NTA, and I don't do dating apps, so no idea how this approach works. All my experience comes from girls I already know/have met

have any of you tards managed to actually get a woman using this gay ass thread? highly doubt it

How does one get out of a starting-from-negative mindset?
I have a deep belief that everyone, even people I don't know, automatically thinks I'm a loser. And that if I want a social interaction to go anywhere, I have to climb out of that hole to get people to like me, or even just be neutral.

>>34662058
*using* this thread? No, my looks do almost all the work. I just like browsing here sporadically to post the occasional thought when I have a particular frustration, regret, or notion regarding this topic.

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>>34661857
Am I a poo texter? Do I have zero game? I have no clue what to do from here

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>>34662151

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>>34662154

>>34662014
Thanks. Damn why does just telling a girl that feel so unnatural to me.

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this was punjab'd or dalit'd right after my post on /pol/, so I wanted to share this with you. ask away if you have questions, I'll keep the thread open for today.

>>34662259
that was your post?

Got liked on hinge by the queen of slampigs, but she says she’s looking for a “life partner”. Think I’ll leave her alone.

>>34662358
>queen of slampigs
KEK

>>34662155
Bros give me advice please. The fact that she didn’t even respond to me asking her out means it’s over right?

>>34662058
I mostly give advice. There are two types of people in these threads - guys who are gonna make it anyway but need some advice or encouragement from time to time and guys who just don't get it and probably never will

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>>34662303
it was, yes. is that cringe? I write something heartfelt and meaningful and then the jannies strike it away.

>>34662432
Again, as the anon who doesn't have any online app experience, I'd say this could mean she's not ready yet. But of course idk where you take the conversation from there lol.

>>34662432
I’d probably be self deprecatingly funny about it.
>So is that a no or…
Go down swinging at least.

>>34662672
Do you think I may have come on too strong in how I asked her out? I got it from AI. But also why send me a photo if she didn’t want to go out?

For those of you who are over 30 and virgins, just... don't settle for the first person to give you attention.

I married a girl who is only barely sexually interesting to me and she's great and kind but sex is a genuine chore. The decision came from fear and scarcity, and a passiveness in my own life. But this outcome is as bad as when I was single. In some ways worse because I'm committed.

We're all gonna make it. But when you get there, don't stop after one try. Make sure you're fully satisfied with your girl, even the shallow parts.

So you see a cute girl somewhere like sitting alone at the raising canes or something with nothing to go off what do you say?

I feel like having 3-4 entries you can use on anyone would be perfect instead of just trying to figure out something on the spot

>>34663013
what? you want to behave like an npc? lmaooooo

>>34663017
No bro i'm talking about crafting a Retardmaxxing dialogue tree which goes against the spirit but we are trying to be game theory optimal

>>34663013
>Enjoying your mid ass chicken that’s worthless without the sauce?

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Reminder that she expects you to hit on her.

Beautiful women don't fuck cowards.

Women are so terrible for my mood. Success feels great but failure feels awful.

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have any of you used p2w?

>>34663555
I’m thinking of trying it for one week on hinge. $30 but it would just be to try it.

>>34662492
>guys who just don't get it and probably never will
what is it about these guys that you can tell? too deep in the black pill or g just genuinely retarded?

>>34662068
Watch and integrate the lessons in this
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O8FXmKfZOtk&list=WL&index=9&pp=iAQB0gcJCUELAYcqIYzvsAgC

>>34663585
all 3 are owned by the same company, and majority of people are on all 3, so i dont see the point of installing more than 1

>>34663585
>ONE WEEK is 30 fucking bucks

jesus christ

>>34663876
It’s $20 for the first tier but the second tier sounds much better. That’s the one that actually shows your profile more. They give you some value over time (6 months is $180).

I really don’t think it’s that bad. I’d rather it be cheaper but if it leads to a gf or FWB it will probably be worth it.

>>34660751
>>34660757
t. non-manipulator
Playing mind games on BPD women is fun, only retards get caught up in their little mind games.

>>34663956
when I used hinge in 2022 it was $60 for 3 months, what the hell happened

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I think of this image at least once a week.

>>34662154
>I don't think I could shape mine like that if I tried
fucking lame, why are you comparing yourself to a girl? even jokingly it's lame, never do it again anon, seriously, it's pussy repellent.

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>>34664069
What should I have said? Pls anon I’m trying to learn

>>34664179
literally just stop at "I love your lips" is an option lmao

>>34664179
You basically said "damn I wish I could grow breasts like that" or "damn I wish I could paint my nails like that"

what is /htgwg/'s thoughts on awkward shy girls who smile when you talk to them?

>>34664223
That's a silly question and as such I won't respond to it.

>>34664227
>"I won't respond to it"
>responded

>>34664179
Well to answer your original question, yes, you are a poo texter, it's boring and drab. You're being too safe and careful, you need to be more fun and outgoing, women deal with boring guys all the time, you have to try to make her feel like you're different in a good way. Her bonus points comment could have easily been played with by saying....something, anything, something fun or new. For instance:
>You've only earned a few bonus points
>Bonus points? We might need to get together so I can get a high score.
Kinda lame but that's all I have right now. Also, stop taking women so seriously, they're not as special as you think they are.

Persevere through what you do... BUT do so peacefully.

Just wanted to say I followed the advice in a thread like this years ago and now I’m happily married with kids.

If you have any questions I can answer in the next 20 minutes (you’ll have a lot less free time when you have kids)

I miss her

>>34663555
If you're not getting results without paying, you won't be getting results with paying
>>34663641
Just lack of self awareness and/or basic social skills, both of which will guarantee not getting any

>>34664373
Any advice about kids?

>>34664435
Every kid is very different. What works for one absolutely doesn’t for another

Keep screen time minimum though

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>>34663989
Give me insights into full dark triad mode. I noticed sometime back I was full on mental rapist manipulator on the girls and then it hit me, those were some dark triad traits. Then I did cool down, but it was interesting nevertheless.

For the other sexless anons, trying to schedule new date next week with Ukrainian 24yo. Got her WhatsApp and attempting to meet on Wednesday. Let's see if it even works out
>Pic related

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Also wanna schedule some other date next week with this one too.
30yo, Muslim (disappointing) big boobs. Can't swim lmao. What's with subhumans that cannot do basic stuff, also obviously doesn't eat bacon.
But maybe she can eat my dick, if you know what I mean.
So these 2 are the ones I want to be busy with, also beach date went well, so probably I'll go for 2nd dates. It was just touchy escalation but no kisses. Girl was in a thong so at least that

>meet woman in metro by chance
>start chatting
>she says "we should catch up with coffee"
>she gives me her number, making sure I'm saving it right on my phone
>that night I write her on whatsapp
>"Hey it's anon, so shall we get that coffe this weekend?"
>no reply
>it's her name but no picture, shoudl be the right number but maybe she doesn't use whatsapp
>next day I send a normal text just in case
>no reply
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

>>34664945
Not much more you can do here, maybe she changed her mind, maybe she gave you a fake number just so you'd shove off or maybe she's busy

>>34664971
But she's the one who suggested meeting first, we were talking about what we do and the city and normal stuff like that before she said the thing about coffee...
This is the second time in a row that I get a girl's number and then they change their mind, it's demoralizing.

I can totally see why people fall into the "dating market is fucked" blackpill rabbit hole when I have boomer coworkers talking about how they'd get dates on fucking farmville and meanwhile even when girls ask me to go out on a date first nothing happens.
Fuck.

>>34664985
Women do that all the time. They flake, you get their number hoping to finally go for that date you imagined and then you write to them. They never reply back. Usually, it's more zoomer behavior though, since they are extra flaky.
Got 2 little 24 yo stacies less than 2 weeks back, one from tinder, got her number texted twice 24 hours apart radio silence (profile pic was showing so it was her).
Second one hinge, excited to make the date got her Instagram. She cancelled first date meet up. Attempt to recover. Radio silence, you just move on. Resilience is a must on online dating since it's truly bullshit by its own nature.
Little Stacy on Instagram still watches my stories lmao

>>34664985
I’ve had this happen to me before, some women indulge the spontaneous flirting and connection with no intention of following up, often they have a bf or still involved with ex, or just don’t plan to see you ever again but that doesn’t mean she didn’t like you in the moment, yeah women are walking contradictions like that, just enjoy the interaction, shoot your shot and move on, c’est la vie

>>34656471
What's the deal with Hinge? Never used it, I mostly haunt Tinder with decent results. Anons here keep mentioning Hinge often

>>34665009
as a man you have to pay get matches, I went for years on the free version getting 1 or 2 matches a month with uggos then when I paid $99 for three months all of a sudden getting 5-10 real matches a week, have already gone on 15 dates, the algo absolutely suppresses free users

>>34665027
Chads don't need to pay.
>t. Chad

>>34665042
NTA but not getting matches without paying is a skill issue

>>34665053
An attraction issue if you ask me.

>>34665042
I’m not a chad therefore I pay, $99 vs. no dates given the low effort required is a no brainer

>>34664945
She just needed the validation that she can pick up someone like you anytime she wants to. Women do this sometimes the closer they get to the hard wall.

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>>34662432
Me again. I asked her to come on a hike with me and this was her response. Is it over? Should I cut my losses or is there still hope later on?

>>34664260
Was he right to compliment her directly (if not in the right way)? Is that what women are looking for when they send you pictures in promoted?

>>34664985
I always say “hey it’s anon” first and some small talk before arranging the date

>>34665027
Skill issue

>>34665327
Hikes are risky unless its fully public and she's not in danger.

>>34659603
This is so fucking cringe man. Why can't people just talk like normal human beings

Hello, first time here. I want to ask a girl out, but I feel like I'll fuck it up somehow or I'm overthinking it. I'll write down some context.

I'm 30, have only ever been in 1 relationship before that lasted 5 months, I was 23 and had no previous dating exp. Looking back on it, it was more like a fling and even my friends made fun of me because it was my first time dating and more.
I never tried dating after that because I didn't feel confident, I hate the city I moved after and the people that enjoy the lifestyle the city promotes, so I wouldn't want to hang out with someone that loves the thing I despise.
A few weeks ago, I met the daughter of a flat owner in the condo I work in. She's around 5'1, light brown skin, long brown hair, thin, with delicate face features.
Talking with her felt good, like the first time I met my ex, she's a very easy going girl, carries herself with grace, kinda reminded me of ballerina classmates I had; later I'd see her doing yoga and even artistic swimming.
I kept all conversations with her and her mother as formal as possible, I wouldn't want to risk my job. She gave me her phone number a day after she arrived and we messaged briefly because she had to solve an issue with a parcel delivery, but I was smiling like an idiot through it all.

When they left I searched her socials and found out that she's a musician (as is written in her ig), does some modeling and she should be at least 24 years old, but there was no clue about her being in a relationship. Then, I realized I had met her a year prior, and I had to help her find a doctor because she got food poisoning, we didn't interact much that time, but she was grateful for the help I gave her those days.

Went to park next to a small river with some friends. Two girls sat near us and i was locking eyes with one. throughout the time we occasionally looked at each other but i didnt know how to properly proceed from there because also some other friends from my two friends came and we were a huge ass group of ppl i barely know. Like going over and just striking up a convo felt weird, but maybe this should have been my move? idk...

>>34666181
I felt like I had missed a good chance for trying something out, and it wouldn't come back. I kept in contact with her but only through the work's phone number (the manager has access to it too), helping her with more parcel deliveries and such. Then, a few days ago she texted that she'd be coming back to the condo, precisely in 2 days, and would stay for 5 days.
This is the second chance I was looking for, I'll be quitting the condo job a day later after she arrives (this was already arranged months prior) and I think I can properly ask her out without the burden of still working there. The thing is, I don't know if she'll be coming with her mother again, or if she'll come with her girl friends like she did a year ago. The only date idea I have in mind is going to a world cup watch party in one of the many restaurants in the area. I'm not that deep into football, but it seems like a light environment to hang around. Everything else I can think of doesn't seem like it'd work out.

More info about me, I'm 6 ft tall, on the skinnyfat side, light brown skin. My ex would tell me from time to time that she felt lucky I was with her because I was handsome, and felt absurd that she was my first girlfriend. A year ago there was a female coworker that I felt was into me by the way she always complimented me and wanting to hang out, she was married, I never tried anything because she wasn't my type, body type and personality wise. And lastly, I've been complimented by gay men, and molested by gay men on 2 separate occasions, so at least I know there are people out there that think I'm gay, or gay looking.

>>34666200
Yeah you should have tried to start a conversation. Locking eyes is a good sign. Cause it's pretty simple: the realistic worst case scenario is just that it gets awkward and you don't get anywhere, and the best case scenario is that you get laid, etc. But the worst case scenario isn't actually that bad cause like yeah, it sucks a little bit but if you want to be get laid with random girls you meet irl you have to learn to be ok with rejections and awkwardness. Eventually with enough experience the sting of it not working becomes like a tiny trivial thing, and you also get results so you directly feel in your body that it's worth the risk.
At the same time though, don't beat yourself up for not approaching. Even experienced guys usually don't approach every woman they're attracted to, and still get approach anxiety sometimes. Just keep going.

>>34666181
>>34666205
That's a lot of words just to say you like a girl and would like to get to know her better. Ask her for a coffee, don't bother with the world cup watch party, that's not a date.
But let me be honest, I don't see any indication that she likes you. She's nice to you, but you've said it yourself, she's easygoing.
Look, you need to shoot your shot

>>34663650
Thanks. Do you have more on this, or just that one video? The link was to a playlist I think, but when I opened it only one video played.

>>34666225
Sorry, I'm too caught up in my own head to be brief. Yeah, a simple invite to dinner or breakfast should be the way, and yeah I tend to mistake that kindness for affection or interest. It's also why I never try anything.
I also have bad experiences of having crushes on girls that are already in a relationships, it makes me mistrust my own judgement.

>>34666223
I got rusty with approaching since i had a girlfriend up until a couple of months ago. Did this 3 years ago with no success (dates), just fun convos or straight rejections. But in this 3 years i picked up fitness and improved my physique. I also started observing that girls on the street are noticing me and generally smile more than 3 years ago. It's just my mental barrier stopping me at the moment.

>>34659362
Some basic light escalations are:
1. Reach out and touch her upper arm gently with your hand for an instant while you're saying something, as if to make a point. Lots of people just naturally do this while talking, so it comes off as relatively light but in a man-woman sexual tension context it's also an escalation.
2. Say light compliments about her looks. Nothing too heavy or directly sexual (unless you want to take the risk). But say them more with like a straight face, though also relaxed. Not like how one of her girlfriends would say it.
3. Look in her eyes, then down at her mouth, then back in her eyes.
4. Just stand and sit slightly closer to her than someone who is purely a friend naturally would. Just slightly.
While you're doing all this just keep a relaxed note of how she's reacting. Basically, if she seems negative about it then tone it down a bit and if she seems fine with it or like she's enjoying it then ramp it up a bit.
With your situation of having shared social circle, you'll probably want to keep things on the relatively light side. In places like bars you can freely take more risks. As an ex-alcoholic though, be careful with bars, getting laid isn't worth developing alcoholism. Nowadays I just go to bars and drink soda cause I'm just not tempted by booze anymore, but it would be dangerous for someone who was tempted.
Cafes would also work, or music shows.

>>34666271
Yep, bust that shit down king. You got this. Pretty soon you might have relationship questions to ask instead, and I won't be able to help with those cause I'm decent at getting laid but suck in relationships lol.

>>34666256
Your main problem is developing a crush on a girl you barely know, before even trying anything.That's just setting yourself up for a failure
There's no magical advice anyone here can give you, as I've said, you need to go for it an see what happens. Don't get your hopes up

>>34666240
I must have saved it in my watch later playlist, but if you look up the doctor I'm sure you can find more of his stuff

>>34656546
You gotta get out of the all-or-nothing perfectionist mindset. If you've been single and antisocial for so long you've lost your skill then yeah, the conversation might be awkward. Or you might get lucky and it won't be. But every attempt will improve your skill. You have to be willing to risk awkwardness and lame conversation, that's the only way you can get to the prize. Getting the skill doesn't even take a long time, it's something a person can pick up in a few months cause most of it is programmed in you already, you just have to get comfortable with showing it and get more relaxed in general around women and with your own sexuality.

>>34666379
What sucks is 6-7 years ago I was genuinely becoming good with this stuff. And then I did a work-from-home job for 4-5 years and poof, all the skills have atrophied.

>>34666387
Yeah that happened to me too when I stopped trying for a few years for various reasons like an intense job and trying to figure out my own psychology after a few relationships went bad. The good thing though is, the skills are still there, they're just rusty. When you're trying to get out of a dry spell it's easier than it was the last time. It's not like starting from scratch.

>>34666396
True, thanks for the kind words.

Funny enough, in those 4-5 years, I did become very good at making internet friends and making conversation with digital strangers, haha.

>>34666400
Same. That break I took is when I first started going to places like 4chan, for better or worse.

i've always been the one reaching out and initiating conversation with the awkward shy girl i'm talking to. we went out on an alright "date" a few days ago. should i wait and see if she'll ever reach out to me to chat or am i just going to have to carry forever?

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How does this game work. If I girl hasn't replied in 3 days should I just unmatch?

>>34666105
Flirting is normal, anonymous Chinese cartoon forum poster.

>>34666281
Redpill me on giving compliments - how/when with some examples. I have no idea why but I have some strange aversion to it. The last girl I dated told me I never complimented her shortly before breaking it off with me so I want to be ready next time.

>>34666473
She hung out with you, she likes you. You're the man, don't be afraid to initiate.

>>34666473
Yeah, you'll always have to bring up stuff and hold her hand through everything. It will get boring real fast. Try another date and make it more intimate, by then you'll get your answer
>>34666775
Your reading comprehension matches your traditionalims-it's trash

>>34666859
>Your reading comprehension matches your traditionalims-it's trash
What did I miss? I just meant you shouldn't take the fact she's not the one to initiate as a bad thing if she actually hung out with you. Some girls are just like that. Sometimes you have to 'carry', as you put it, yes, at least until you're fully in a relationship.

>>34666740
Just tell her things that you genuinely like about her, whether it's looks or personality. In most situations you wouldn't want to be like "you have a great ass" if you just met her, but there are probably rare situations in which that would work too. Just have to gauge the level of risk. But "you have pretty eyes" or "you look athletic" are low risk.
If you're already dating her then nothing is really off limits. Just say what you genuinely like about her, like "I love your ass" or "your tits look great" or "I like your sense of humor" or whatever. In my experience, chicks love raunchy compliments if they're attracted to you. If you're interested in fucking her or are already dating her there are definitely things you like about her.

>>34665469
Yes, you need to establish that you think she's cute/hot and that you want to have sex with her, but he played it too safe, he needed to be more daring. Not necessarily jumping from 1 to 100, but just keep things hot enough that she feels the vibe you're trying to exude.

>>34664855
>give me insights
I triggered her BPD. I would talk to her all casual and confident, I would repeat things that I would over hear her say so she would think we had things in common, I would ask her about herself and eventually have her trauma dump on me, etc. Eventually I would stop talking to her and she'd get mad because I wouldn't be giving her attention, I would go days or hours without talking to her, and I knew it was getting to her because she started using physical violence to try and get me to react to her, I would flirt with other girls in front of her, one day I was talking to this hot girl and she stood right in front of me to block me from interacting with her, etc.
You just have to remember that BPD women are for a fun time only, they don't have the emotional or mental maturity to be in a meaningful/serious relationship, and also remember to not feel bad for them, as most of them have low empathy and would fuck you over just for the hell of it.

>>34666893
Thanks. I wish I had thought of this sooner. She sent me two bathing suit pics within our first 10 texts. I wish I had said something.

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This is code for
>I don’t have time ever actually
right?

>>34667144
If they make no effort to reschedule out of their own initiative, yes

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>>34656471

>>34667226
What do then? “Aw, too bad”?

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Date your opposite. You need a girlfriend who is spontaneous and loves life not your atypical gamer girl who wishes you were gay to fuck off.

>>34667501
Zach, with all due respect, aren't you a chronically single autist? Why do you keep spouting this drivel like it's some deep insight when you're a weirdo like everyone else on this godforsaken site? Respectfully

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A married female coworker asked me for help with something and invited me to her home. When I arrived, she answered the door wearing a bathrobe, then went to her bedroom to change. What do you think her intentions were? Am I overthinking this, or is that normal behavior?

>>34667572
As a fellow autist, it is not in our nature to ask why we indulge our autistic impulses. We simply must indulge them, the way a bee must sting and a dog must piss on sign posts.

>>34667636
Oh yea she wants to fuck

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>>34666603
There's no real benefit to unmatching, but there's a 0.01% chance of her replying to you. She probably noticed something about your profile she didn't like.
>>34667636
Probably just being a tease due to marriage problems. She wanted you to ogle her, but she probably wasn't interested in a real affair. She just wanted to "prove" that she's still sexy despite her husband's inattention

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>>34667636
kek

>>34656546
Look, this one's a no-brainer. You need to show your curiosity:
>You're at the library
>She comes out with three books
Stop there. Your follow-up from "Hello" should be "Which books did you pick up?" and you have a whole chain of possibilities from there
>Ask what each book is about
>>Acknowledge one of her descriptions of a book by prying into whether it's a good read for you
>>>If you think you might like it, pick it up and express your intent to discuss it chapter-by-chapter (maybe like a reading club?) every so often at the library
>>>If not, tell her what you're reading and gauge whether she'd be interested to discuss with you (and still propose some reading discussions with her)

Speaking of libraries, what are they like on weekends, do you really see lots of qts around those? I started reading a book for once in my post-school life and might try to find similar reads.

>>34668108
>Speaking of libraries, what are they like on weekends, do you really see lots of qts around those? I started reading a book for once in my post-school life and might try to find similar reads.
On weekends, I do, yeah. This being a downtown library in a third-or-even-fourth tier city.

And thank you for the reply. Funny enough, I once overheard a guy approach a girl browsing for books and he took roughly the same approach you outlined, only his book recommendation was so terrible I almost burst out laughing (she said she was into/looking for mystery and he recommended fuckin' Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov lmao -- but hey, he's got balls to approach and I don't, so I shouldn't hate).

>>34661093
This is a really nice take, particularly the control that institutions and businesses have over intimacy, as opposed to communities and individuals.

>>34667226
>If they make no effort to reschedule out of their own initiative, yes
Not necessarily true, most women expect men to take initiative - you set up the date, you name time and place. So if I were that anon I'd suggest a different time and if she says no, then you leave it be

>>34666293
yep NTA but I thought the same thing, oneitis incoming, he’s already putting her on a pedestal before he even knows her last name

>>34656471
>How to Get Women
Be tall and white. There you go. If you got that, then the problem is in your head, you dumbass retard.

I'm 6'2" 8.8" bonepressed dick and i got a 405lb bench press. How do i leverage this on apps?

>>34668674
I also am a neet with barely any friends if that matters

>>34668674
Just take a good photo.
>>34668678
Completely irrelevant.

>>34668674
Most apps you can just write in your height. Take a mirror pic with your bench press in the back fitted with your one rep max in tight gym clothes. The dick isnt something you can leverage unless you really skirt the rules of the app and end up getting shadowbanned, but you can do beach photo where you have a half stiffy in your trunks. Dont ever fucking let a woman know you dont have many friends, start making and getting friends ASAP.

>>34667136
Yeah, if she sends you bathing suit pics, you have free reign to compliment her body in all kinds of ways. If it's only ten texts in then might not want to get too raunchy just yet, but you can definitely compliment her body.
That said, just because she said you never complimented her shortly before breaking it off with you doesn't necessarily mean that it was a major reason for why she broke it off.

>>34661093
I don't agree. The government can encourage approaches and shame women for being rude and unreceptive. They pretty much do that with the rape gangs they covered up in Britain.
Furthermore, many men approach women and get nothing. Women ghost men so that they might avoid getting blamed for rejecting many decent, healthy young men.

>>34668674
Get a good professional-tier photo of you looking muscular and conventionally attractive at the gym. Or an action shot of lifting super heavy weights if your body isn't obviously built.

For your height, you can exaggerate it to 6'4 if you don't have a oral qualms about lying. Women man for height and dick size is a real thing. I'm 5'8 and have 6 ft on my profile. Nobody gives a fuck, on dates if someone says you're shorter than I expected, I just say "yeah I haven't measured myself since I was 18, I might be 5'11 or 6 ft idk lol"

Dick size do not bring up unless you're heavy into a flirting context. Bringing up "muh dick" is such a common tactic in the wrong situation it's a huge ick and red flag for women. Easiest and probably best to not mention it at all until you're comfortable flirting and having sexually charged conversations.

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>Hanging out with female friend
>She's got her friend with her that I've never met before
>We get along great which makes sense
>Notice over time friend starts doing protective actions like sharing food with just me, standing so close to me our arms are touching, lots of extended eye contact, the kind where your surroundings stop existing
>don't really think anything of it since she's gay or at least is right now, sometimes she is, sometimes she isn't
>At the end when they're leaving, when I'm hugging her friend bye and saying my goodbyes, catch friend staring daggers at us
Huh? What the hell was that?

>>34669066
When it comes to human behavior, often the obvious explanation is actually the correct explanation.

>>34669080
>>34669066
Yeah. She's trying to set up her friend with him. Pretty obvious.

I struggle to be emotionally or physically intimate with women (mostly I just don't find them attractive but I'm not willing to say that aloud) but I keep dating to get better at it skill-wise and hopefully find a woman I can commit to or at least tolerate.
I'm always holding back and I think that's really kneecapping me. I think it's ultimately because I don't want to put myself into a position where I can be trapped, but I'm gonna need to take bigger risks and make bigger commitments moving forward regardless. Which resources are best for dealing with this?

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>>34656471
>>34667238
>implying anyone sane would want to "get" D*dger
lmaoing

>>34669119
>Which resources are best for dealing with this?
I'd recommend watching films and TV shows and reading novels which cover similar topics, at least romance in general.

>>34669119
Why will you need to make bigger commitments moving forward, when it comes to women? Or do you mean in general? Cause the only reason why you'd have to make bigger commitments with women is if you want kids, cause it would be messed up to have kids and be absent.

Redpill me on marrying a lawyer

>>34669154
Thanks. I don't have any better answers or ai wouldn't have asked, but I admit I'm gonna admit I'm a little hesitant to trust wish-fullment genres for emotional intimacy.
>>34669163
>Cause the only reason why you'd have to make bigger commitments with women is if you want kids, cause it would be messed up to have kids and be absent.
Yes. That's exactly the outcome I'm afraid of: I'm more worried about being an absent father than I am about being a bad lover. I can always date again, but unfucking bad or absentee parenting is exponentially harder.

>>34669180
SHE WILL fight for you!

>>34669182
>I admit I'm gonna admit
I need to eat.

Lads, I have had two dates with this girl and its going pretty well so far. We both ideally want something long term, but we both live here temporarily so we both know that this may not actually be something long term. But the chemistry is there, we hold hands in public, kiss (and I groped her one time) in public, etc. I told her that I want to fuck her as well.

She's told me she's free next week, and I just need to make plans. Would really appreciate any advice you guys might have at this stage. I was thinking a jazz club event, but it ends after her last train, but not sure if I should ask if she wants to stay over or book a hotel for a night... alternatively, we could just do drinks and roam the city to find shit to do... not sure what would be best.

>>34669182
Got ya brotha. Sounds like you have a good moral compass at least when it comes to kids. Wish I could help but I'm similar. I'm decent at getting laid, but so far I've sucked in relationships. I dislike commitment in romantic relationships. It feels somehow viscerally profoundly wrong to me in a way that I just can't fight. And it's not even because I want to go have sex with other women. My sex drive isn't that high. There's just something about it that feels like being trapped in a repulsive way. And I try not to promise women things that I don't actually feel. But at the same time, I too might want kids at some point.

>>34667572
I'm a little confused. How is this drivel?

>>34669219
Continued... Now that I think of it, there was one exception, and it was a girl I got completely infatuated with and thought was a bit out of my league. So maybe that's one way to want commitment, to find a girl whom you think is actually hard to find and is out of your league. But I dunno, that seems like it might eventually be unsatisfying in a different way. She ended up breaking up with me because she didn't want commitment and I did, lol.

>>34668751
What could I have said? They were both from chest up. I could have mentioned her smile in one but not the other. I guess her eyes looked good in that one.

Communication was the reason she broke it off. She said we spoke “two different languages” and I’m sure this was part of that.

>>34669353
Smile and eyes are both good things to compliment. "I like your eyes" or "You have a pretty smile". It doesn't have to be fancy or inspired if you're not feeling anything fancy or inspired at the moment. But it should be genuine cause you probably wouldn't enjoy feeling stuck having to make un-genuine compliments. Ten texts in it's hard to gauge whether it's ok to make raunchier compliments, but I think these days something like "you have a great body" (if she really does) wouldn't scare off the typical girl.

>>34669385
Makes sense. Thanks. Wish I could do it all over but live and learn I guess. And maybe it was for the best.

>>34669404
Exactly, live and learn, and maybe it was for the best. I guess the question is, what's the root of your aversion to complimenting women?

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>>34669421
I’ve been wondering that myself. It took some searching but I thought of a few possibilities.
1. Flirting, banter and teasing have been my favorite way to receive interest for a long time, so that’s how I learned to show interest. Actually being sincere feels so off in comparison, so I usually save it for more serious situations.
2. I dated a girl for seven years who loved the negging, so the habit is ingrained for me.
3. I had feelings way too strong too early for that last girl and I was afraid of exposing that.
4. I think pic related might have had a big “literally me” impact on me. Gone With the Wind has been my favorite movie since well before I started dating. For whatever reason, I love Rhett’s style - humor, sarcasm, wit, irony, confidence, but not sincere vulnerability.

>>34669530
The thing is, you don't have to abandon the Rhett style, the flirting, bantering, teasing, and negging. You can keep doing that stuff and also start complimenting. The combination and contrast might even "work" better than either side by itself.
The problem is this though: if you do all that stuff, there is a good chance that you will get girls absolutely obsessed with you. And if you don't want to get in a committed relationship with them, their feelings will get hurt. So if you're not a sociopath, you have to be careful.
I spent so much effort in my life trying to figure out how to get girls attracted to me that I mostly didn't bother to figure out how to use this power responsibly when girls did become really really attracted to me. This is something I've been dwelling on lately. I've realized that I'd actually rather get broken up with than break up with a girl, breaking up feels way worse to me. But sometimes it's necessary, unfortunately.
Getting better at exposing your feelings is probably a good thing for your well-being. But that too could potentially get girls even more obsessed with you. Because a guy who can flirt, can compliment, can express his feelings is a rare guy. So with great power comes great responsibility.
I've gotten decent at getting laid but man, relationships and effective communication in them are something I still suck at.

>>34669197
>I was thinking a jazz club event, but it ends after her last train, but not sure if I should ask if she wants to stay over or book a hotel for a night... alternatively, we could just do drinks and roam the city to find shit to do... not sure what would be best.
You already have a good plan in mind. Do it. Suggest the jazz show and show her the time it happens. If she agrees, she knows it's after her last train departs and is okay with that. See where the night naturally takes you, be romantic, flirty, and most importantly honest, but don't force anything and respect verbal boundaries and read the signals if she's flirting back or more reserved that.

If she agrees to the show, you go to it, just say
>"hey I know your last train left. I can Uber/drive you back, or you're welcome to stay the night at my place later. Wanna get drinks first before ending the night? I'm having a great time!".

If she comes back to your place, or you get a hotel, she probably wants to fuck. Women's aren't dense they know what offering to stay the night usually means. Just take it one step at a time, be chill and honest on the night. Honesty as you you're taking it one step at a time. You're thinking through logistical considers now and would ideally like to have sex, but you're not gonna be upset if there isn't sex, therefore just focusing having a good night and you know that's true. You're not decietful trying to get in her pants by planning late show. You're taking her to a late show because you think you guys will enjoy it and it would be a fun date.

how long should i wait before planning a second date? we're both busy with our studies this summer

>>34669549
Yep, that's the plan - learn to compliment and express feelings and make sure I do it enough. I don't like messing with hearts though and I hate hurting girls, so I don't think it would come to that.

>>34669688
If you're both interested you'll make time. You should meet at least once a week

The ultimate black pill you guys need to accept is that no matter how attractive or successful you are, you will get cucked eventually. Most of the girls I've had sex with have had boyfriends who were both more attractive and more successful, women are not loyal, they don't care about anything other than themselves.

Installed tinder a week ago and got my first match. Holy shit this is like pulling teeth. The whole conversation is just me asking questions and getting answers. Is this the norm? I'm guessing I should have planned my conversation around asking her out but I feel like we should talk for a while before that.

>>34669700
>at least once a week
woah is that really okay? i would think every other week or every two weeks...

>>34669726
You generally want to take it off the app as soon as possible, but not too soon. If she's answering questions and asking her own, you might wait a day or two. If she's only answering questions, or barely even doing that, you go straight to invitation, at which point she either agrees or the conversation dies, both of which are good outcomes because you're not wasting any more time
>>34669727
Every two weeks is not ideal, but it might work for you. Still, at some point you'll want to meet more often

Went on a coffee date yesterday with a girl off Hinge. She was nice, pretty quiet, but conversation got decent after a while. Went for a walk after coffee, and conversation died out at that stage. Was about 2 hours long overall.

How do I decide if I want another date? or if she wants another date?

We live about 45 mins away from each other so going for drinks on the next date is kinda out of the question. More likely to be something like a hike.

>>34658606
So, how did you do it? Do you have to lick a specific place or something?

>>34669691
Glad to hear it. Good luck anon!

>>34663013
Just make something up, like asking her about the time then when she answers you just go on from there to another subject.

>>34664223
Unless they're doing it due to being nervous thats because they like you.

If I have a big crush on a girl and want to keep her around but I'm going to her house to have sex with her having no expectation of me coming back for more, how should I act with her to make her want me to be around?

>>34664373
How do I make any woman fall for me? Fall for me enough to be with me?

>>34669796
Thanks anon

It does not matter who you date, you need to be your best self. You may be thinking, "Oh but I got fat chicks and trannies..." Bro... Fat chicks and trannies expect you to be at your A game like hot chicks. Don't fucking kid yourself.

>>34669589
>You're taking her to a late show because you think you guys will enjoy it and it would be a fun date.

Great advice, and yeah I didn't mention this but we talked about going to this Jazz club on the first date, the logistics, and she still said she'd like to go with me... just wanted some advice still because I don't want to come across as creepy, and it's really been a while since I had sex as well.

Thanks for the advice, anon

How do you get out of negative spirals?
I'm in my 30s and it's been like 3 years since the last time I fooled around with a girl, and she ghosted me right after because I've got terrible anxious nerves and my dick doesn't work in person.
I'm not confident because I don't have any game, and I don't have any game because I'm not confident.
I've largely forgotten how to flirt and my first dates have gotten too clinical and even when I think they go well I get an HR crafted message from them after breaking it off.
I haven't made any non-working friends and it just feels impossible to break into others social circles.
I keep doing this messaging self sabotage where I test to see if they start a conversation and it always just dies there. My expectation of the barest level of interest just seems too high.
I dunno, it's just hard to acknowledge that you're the sole constant in all of your failures and that to connect with others you need to radically change large portions of your self.

>>34670431
I did a partial hospitalization program.

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I work at a univ, would it be smart to place it on my Tinder account, or will the possible students who find me see it as weird?

>>34670468
Is that something like a rehab? What was that like?

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What makes an opening message to a girl good vs bad?

>>34670588
If she accepts you when you are awkwardly fumbling or am oddly loud it is good. If you get ignored and in trouble for being awkward like your friends, it is bad.

>>34670556
Not really because you still stay at your own home, you just go there for 3-5 hours a day. It's 2-3 classes per day on various topics. Looking at my old photos, these included communication types, rumination, stuck points, thought defusion, perfectionism, gratitude, and thought challenging. Education on how your mind works basically. Those were taught by therapists and attended by other patients. Very useful stuff to learn and being around and supported by the other patients got rid of any stigma I felt.

Meanwhile I met 1-2 times per week with a psychiatrist for meds and a personal therapist. There was also a family therapist if you wanted to bring any of your family into it. You were also expected to do something with the rest of your day. I went to the gym and organized my apartment while also trying out a few different hobbies.

I've reached a level of attractiveness that even guys are looking at me in public with the look of seething envy. Little do they know I'm awkward, have no game, and haven't had sex in years, so in reality I'm no threat.