From personal experience, you do not really want to be with a lot of women.
A lot of women are genuinely bad people that will make your life an anxious, living hell.

Ask me how I know.

I screen women for Integrity more than I do anything else these days.

>led on and abandoned again
Thought it was finally my turn but reality reminded me of my place once again, I've already gotten over her, but the hollow feeling inside is still there

>>34922430
Do you really WANT a woman that would lead you on and abandon you, though?

>>34922443
Obviously not, and in hindsight there were plenty of signs, but we're blind as hell when into someone

>>34922450
I can relate.
This is why we escalate fast and go for what we want out the gate.

When I saw how easy women make it for guys they want, I never accept anything less.

>>34922466
Yep, I kept making tons of excuses for her too, rationalizing being treated like the 5th option taking any scraps I can get. Fuckin idiot I was.

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Remember to let things be human when you are with women instead of perfect.

>>34922423
I can't even be with one.

>>34922472
Same.
Men actually have extremely strong intuition, we just crowd it out because of our ego.

We can tell when something is off about a woman fast. We just ignore it.

>>34922487
You're thinking that being with a woman like that is better than nothing.

It's fucking not.
You do not want a woman like that. I promise.

>>34922488
I was telling myself
>stop being so pessimistic, we're adults with busy lives, put in a little more effort to show her your care
XD unironic ecks fucking dee, damn retard I was, writing was on the fucking walls, I was just really hoping to be wrong, but like you said that intuition, deep down I always knew

>>34922516
Like what?
I didn't specify anything?

>>34922408
Anyone have any actual success stories and managed to get into a relationship?

>>34922519
Honestly, my story is absolutely going to be worse than yours.

I got led on by a girl who I went barhopping with in a group.
Guess what?
She left with another man right in front of me while I went to get us waters.

She then tried to text me the next day and gaslight me into submission and accept her frame of things to clean up her conscience.

I left that bitch on Delivered. Never read the whole thing, never will.
Never again.

I shouldn't have mentioned here and in other threads that hanging out at the city library was a good place to meet young women. Now it's full of unattractive men and loser old dudes, which ruins the vibe and scares the women away.

Damn you all. Damn you all to hell.

>>34922718
Try Starbucks. Take a book and read, or take your laptop and pretend to be "writing". Make sure you don't have a fucking programming IDE open though.

>>34922718
I don't give a shit about fear anon.

>>34922738
Nah, I'll keep trying the library because I like it there, but these old dudes gotta GTFO. Did their wives kick them out or something? Their house get foreclosed on? Like okay, one or two old dudes who want to get out of the house is fine, there's a couple regulars like that, but today there was like ten. The entire floor was men! I had to get out there fast.

Everyone talks about "escalation." How do you "escalate"?

I imagine that's breaking the touch barrier (holding her hand, touching her back, her hips if she's really interested). Are there things you can SAY to escalate things? I can't find an opportunity to physically escalate.

>>34922752
Literally anything sexual related, even in a joke.

>>34922757
So even if I made an innuendo that didn't have anything to do with either of us, it can escalate. I heard that I can do that, just start off with one and then maybe suggest something sexually.

Which brings me to my next question. How do I suggest sex without being creepy? Make a suggestive comment that definitely tells her that I'm interested, but without causing any harm? I want to know how to escalate, but do it right and not go to far.

>>34922768
Kiss her.

>>34922768
*escalate?

It was a question. But yeah, I have been asking girls to go out with me before asking for their social media these days, but I feel as if that's not enough. They're still ghosting me. Maybe I'm still just a bit too boring. I don't know how to safely escalate much. I've only broken the touch barrier.

>>34922771
How do I know when to do so? I want to.

>>34922775
I like to do the arm around her first -> talk for a lil -> wait a pause -> kiss

>>34922778
Does it usually work? How do I know if she wants a kiss while I'm doing it?


What do I do if she says no?

>>34922781
>Does it usually work? How do I know if she wants a kiss while I'm doing it?
See, that's the beauty of the method: if she's cool with you putting your arm around her and cuddling for a bit, then she's open to kissing. You feel?

>What do I do if she says no?
Sorry anon, but to live with this risk is the burden of man.

>>34922786
So it's a sign that she's interested. I feel as if they kind of tell you if they are into it already. I see!

>>34922788
Are there any other methods? I will totally try that one.

>>34922788
>So it's a sign that she's interested.
It's more than a sign, it's more like outright escalation of physical intimacy. Arm around/hand-holding -> kissing -> try to take off her clothes (assuming she doesn't start herself) -> sex

>>34922798
I was going to say! Hand holding! I saw that before. Any other method with that? I prefer to have more than one thing.

>>34922802
Well, the hand-holding works better if you're in a context where you're facing each other, rather than sitting side-by-side. And anything else is pretty much just gonna require you to recognize the vibe and opening and go from pause in talking -> kiss, which is something you'll get better with over time.

>>34922811
Say I'm talking, and we stop as I put my arm around her (if I am to the side) or if I hold her hand (if I am in front of her). How much time should the pause take?

>>34922752
yea you escalate with your voice rather than what you say
if you slow your speech and deepen your voice
that's arousing to the girl
so you can be talking normally then you get to a hook in what you're saying and you pull that out and it will be crack to the girl

also, gettiing closer
or not talking and just looking her in the eyes

i would not recommend saying sex jokes, or mention sex at all to be honest

then escalatiion also happens by changinig venues
going to places where it's just you and her and you can sit closer
a park bench, your car, etc

>>34922781
>What do I do if she says no?
it is very important that you don't act dissapointed or hurt if this happens
you laugh it off and carry on

to a girl, a guy making a move like that is not actually seen as a negative
since it's a masculine thing to do
but, she may be in that moment not ready for it

but your reaction to rejection is the more important signal, do you remain calm, do you withdraw, do you argue with her, etc
the signal you want to have is oh i guess you weren't ready yet, but let's keep the night going

>>34922887
I think it might be obvious if I deepened my voice, but that's the thing, people can't agree on the "mentioning sex" thing. So, talking slower (which I'm working on, I talk a bit too fast, but only when I have so much energy to socialize). Getting closer, that did work for me before, and going somewhere to be a bit more private. Got it.
>>34922897
I can handle rejection well, it's not personal to me. I don't even get disappointed that much, I just don't think it's so bad. I just don't want to get in trouble or have the girl cause a scene. Some girls can be insane, man. Keeping the night going is interesting, so I can still talk to her? It makes sense, it'd be pretty mean if I just went after being rejected that way.

Everyone, before holding her hand or putting my arm around her, do I say or do anything first?

I don't think I can deepen my voice, and I have to work on my eye contact.

>>34922913
a girl that's into you will make it easy
she will sit closer, be more warm, laugh more
bump into you
my go to strategy is to get her and sit somewhere just us
and talk about nothing at all
then you can be like let me tell you a secret
and if she seems enthusiastic about it just whisper in her ear soothing liike your smile is so cute, or the way you look at me is so adorable in a whispered, anticipatory way and after you say it just move your lips towards hers from her ear

works everytime
but also, if the girl isn't ready she'll act a little masculine and be lke why are you doing that or not let you be near her whisperiing for long
so that's your signal not to do it
(but i would go for it anyway yolo)

a noraml girl won't cause a scene

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Additional videos to watch and reflect.

Good starter videos
>Why We Shouldn't Leave Incels Behind
https://youtu.be/xHmDJyVT3g0?si=GEUm2HAZ-I6QpLgY
>How To Get A Girlfriend
https://youtu.be/05tG47pv1vM?si=x6Ngo0hvj7M9L1wn
>Dr. K Breaks Down The Science of Flirting
https://www.youtube.com/live/0k3YUL3iQds?si=OvrpJ6ZNK0je7Ybq
>How To ACTUALLY Find The Right Person For You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSfuHwENzXM
>Why Your Tinder Match Isn't Going To Date You
https://youtu.be/KJX-8C7OHmw?si=5HcbRpJbUa7PE-gO

More for Men
>Why You Should NEVER Confess Your Love
https://youtu.be/xHkcIRZa6lo?si=zGxmCIXyHEAbsXdQ
>Can Men & Women Be Friends?
https://youtu.be/OafdDpFjOIg?si=O4SIMEOF5EzBFKN7
>The Interesting Truth About What Women Need Today & How To Get What YOU Want!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2mD6_g3xpk
>5 Harsh Realities About Women | Every Man MUST Face Alone!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkhLybpZKzI

More for women
>10 Brutal Dating Tips for Women That Women Need to Hear | And Men Need to Share!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCMKgpl7HW4
>Why You're The Least Valuable Friend
https://youtu.be/ql5sWIEAcFw?si=lYx6LPTx8xaaS7OM
>Why Women Can't Find A Soulmate
https://youtu.be/58kdlgKvEU0?si=ZskCXZLFY1iMmbpF
>A Perspective on Female Loneliness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbGZaGzWdfs

Extras
>How Your Brain Perceives Love When You Have Autism
https://youtu.be/KlSsI2CKYaQ?si=1XYAjx97G9oeNeS_
>Men Are Getting This Totally Wrong About Being A Simp or Nice Guy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn-U2Sx4spo
>The Addiction Women Can't Talk About
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDv-bX7Pegg
>Your Standards Are Way Higher Than They Should Be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diIc5e2RLKI
>"Why Women Deserve Less": Myron Gaines Loves Projection & Bad Math
https://youtu.be/u6QcjXub8fo?si=6TaYexKVRHBncmOm
>Why 40% Of Young Men Need Erectile Retraining
https://youtu.be/2MwTDoT8q_A?si=C-7aytPOjXwgOuIX

>>34922545
>She left with another man right in front of me while I went to get us waters.
You better have never spo-
>I left that bitch on Delivered
Good

>>34922940
Yessir.
She was trying to gaslight the FUCK out of me too.

>"Let me clear this up..."
>"I should have told you..."
>"You were acting weird..."

The fuck?
Shit was heinous

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I have some kind of approach anxiety, but I don't experience the normal physical sensations of anxiety/nervousness. I'm actually completely calm. Instead, I always logic myself out of doing anything with extreme pessimism, shame, and guilt. It's automatic and I can't stop it. I've even done the whole mindfulness thing and caught myself doing this in the moment, but I still can't get myself to do anything.
Is this fixable?

>>34922931
Get her to sit with me and then tell her something intimate such as having a secret, perhaps I can see if it will hapoen by putting my arm around her, and then I just say something cute. Then I just move in for a kiss.

It might take me a while to get to doing it anyway.

>>34922974
*doing it anyway when she's not interested

I'm still going to go for it.

>>34922947
Calling YOU weird is peak gaslight, holy shit

>>34923020
Yeahhhhhhh
That night flipped a fucking switch in me though

Realized I want NOTHING to do with women that don't have Integrity
First thing I scan for, I do not give a fuck how hot she is

>>34922828
A normal conversational pause. When you're looking and hoping for the moment, it'll be obvious.l

>>34923028
Should I walk to her and just immediately put my arm around her?

>>34922962
It fixes itself when you let the world neglect you with no repercussion. A nasty sentiment, but extremely rewarding when you find the positives of it. Little bullshit things people throw at you will no longer get to you if you do this.

>>34922962
Holy shit I feel this word for word

Finally decided to do the go to a bar and take a woman home challenge...I accomplished it easy enough but dear lord I'm terrified I just gave myself an STD, the red flags were abundant...not worth the stress of "accomplishing" it in the slightest. Didn't wrap it up because I'm dumb and was worried about performance anxiety which Ive had in the past...fucking not worth it.

>>34923230
No use worrying about it. Get yourself tested. Always wear protection unless you want a baby.

>>34923245
I have kids and have had a vasectomy...not worried about that side of it at least. I guess she gave me her number at least so I could at least track her down...she never even asked about a condom which has me more nervous desu.

>>34923093
Idk what your actual point is, but I do spend a lot of time out in public around people, I'm just mostly unable to talk to them, except in completely neutral situations.
>>34923146
Fwiw, my research is pointing me toward Avoidant Personality Disorder. I tried therapy a while back, but that was focused on social anxiety even though I said I didn't feel anxious, and the whole experience was pretty bad.

>>34923078
...really? No.

>>34923375
Cool. Glad to know that.

>>34923377
Yeah. Really. I'm just so inexperienced. I barely know what to do. I wouldn't just put my arm around her out of nowhere. I just want to get better at attracting women.

>>34923417
Obviously with the arm thing, I'm suggesting you be next to her on a couch or bed.

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>>34922408
chat how do we feel about shooting your shot thru insta DMs
>be me
>minimum wage worker
>shitskin, overweight, 5,8
>thinking bout dming girl
>only had 1 class, sat next to foid for 1 week
>never talked to her again
>hella pretty now

how do we feel about this
- THANK YOU FOR READING THIS MESSAGE, DJT

Is desperation a red flag?
I have a thing for this girl but I'm not even sure where to begin with her. Our mutual friend is sick of her shit. She's always talking about her relationships like it's the only thing that bothers her in life. She's getting old but I don't find her unattractive or uninteresting, in fact I'm surprised and slightly worried about the fact she didn't find a man that'll stay with her. Initially I thought she had unrealistic standards but the last guy she's bragged about is a pushover.
Now she seems to be pursuing this other fella which, from what I can gather from her best friend "can't fucking stand her but we don't know how to make her understand".
In the last encounter I had with her, she kept playing with me and being flirtatious. Later on she's telling me that she doesn't have prospects and will end up being a cat lady. She doesn't seem to dislike the idea of hanging out with me but god knows.
Is it worth trying?

>>34923375
Mine pointed me toward anxious attachment/avoidant but it's possible both of those cross streams

>>34923503
My understanding is that they're related, but attachment styles are more about looking for healthy/unhealthy patterns across a person's relationships over time. Having an unhealthy attachment style might lead to relationships not progressing the way you want, but it doesn't prevent you from living life. It becomes some kind of disorder once it affects your day-to-day life. But I'm not an expert on this stuff.
Like... in my case, I know I have some kind of avoidant attachment style or subtype. I don't get close to people well, even my only family. But, I'd be fine with casual dating and sex. The problem is, I can't meet people. I haven't been on a date or made a friend in over six years, and before that I was only able to do it because of alcohol. (And unfortunately I don't drink anymore for various reasons.)

>>34922408
>mental illness hair color
>face piercing
>heavy make-up
Post better pics if you are going to bake

>>34923230
>I'm terrified I just gave myself an STD, the red flags were abundant
Which STD are you worried about and what red flags are you talking about?
>she never even asked about a condom
yeah, the zoomettes will do that if they like you

>>34923467
if she gave you her insta then go for it, if you found it another way then it's kinda weird but if you never see her anyways there's not much to lose

>>34923476
>Is desperation a red flag?
yeah, but this woman just seems possibly annoying but harmless, how old is she? and you?

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>girl msgs me
>reply back instantly
>she goes offline and doesnt respond until 8 hours later

>>34923763
She's 36, I'm 38.
From my interactions with her she is still mature enough to offer help when it isn't asked from her and the way in which she's annoying seems to stem from the fact she doesn't really like the idea of being alone at her age.

>>34922537
Guess not, lol.

>>34922545
>She left with another man right in front of me
She would've just ended up cheating on you or fucking you over at some point.

>>34922768
U never suggest anything, desire operates in ambiguity so you never say "let's fuck" u say "there's this art film I want to watch with you," or "want to have a wine and cheese party" etc its all about saying it without saying it. U invite her over for some X activity together and if u are 1 on 1 it implies you want to hook up. If a girl does NOT want to hook up she will hedge the visit with: "as friends" or "can X come too" etc or she will politely reject you or whatever. Anyways you never outright say it because that mostly kills desire for most girls due to how we are all structured through language. Guys too, when you have something in totality and there isn't much surplus in like "will she won't she " desire tends to collapse. That's why people in relationships have a "honeymoon period" and then a cooling off. They have each other in totality no more firey desire

>>34924044
just ask her out and get to know her better and see how it goes if your into her. also, what does she do for work?

I'm 34.

Girls in their 20s are like children. I'm talking to a 40 year old woman and the difference is night and day. Obviously there's individual variability, some girls in their 20s are interesting and can hold a conversation, but they are rare.

I barely know this 40 year old, but I already love just talking to her. She was never married and has no kids.

>>34923230
Casual hookups are masturbation. Women up for hookups on bars are usually the worst kind too, some are incapable of pleasuring themselves so they resort to fucking random men, also there's the element of approval seeking from strangers, like she needs to fuck some random guy to feel attractive and desired.

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>>34922408
How to Get Women:
>get a life
>talk to people (not required, you can use dating apps, it's a bit harder but also works)
>present the best image of yourself to the world, dress well, groom hair/facial hair in a way that suits your appearance and shows personality, lose weight if you're fat
>accept that rejection and ghosting is normal, don't get butthurt over it and don't unload those negative feelings on women you're just getting to know
>have an abundance mindset, learn to filter women too, if you don't feel super happy about asking a woman out it means she's not interesting enough for you
>don't be needy, you don't know this woman yet why are you so infatuated? NO ONE OWES YOU ATTENTION AND AFFECTION

Message every match on dating apps and get into the rythm of talking to lots of women, there are no rules you can say whatever the fuck you want as long as you don't come off desperate or violent. Stop asking so many boring fucking questions.

What do you do for a living? Do you live alone? That all comes naturally AFTER, don't start convos with shit like that. It's BORING, means you're stuck on the checklist of social norms, means you want to know her superego, not her essence. Women want to get in touch with you emotionally.

Stop treating it as an interview. Open by saying something about you and see how she reacts. Cultured and travelled women are the best, they're always the most interesting imo.

Stop bringing your superego to dating. Stop trying to conform to fucking societal rules. Stop expecting her to not have lived. If you're an actual chud and you want an obedient housewife go to a fucking church and stop trying to date normal women, you CHUD.

So basically, stop being a fucking CHUD. Yes, women hate chuds, you gotta stop being a fucking chud. CHUD IS NOT DESTINY, FREE YOURSELF FROM THE CHUD PRISON.

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> playful flirty with girl for 2 months
> ask her out to the aquarium ($100)
> amonth later she tells me she has feelings for another man
bitch wasted my time and money

>>34924235
>playful flirty with girl for 2 months
You have to ask her out as soon as you feel there's some rapport between you, and that usually happens within the first 5 days of meeting her.

>>34922408
Do you guys use a picture of you at a bar/restaurant like op, or is that mostly a female thing? my pics are not from at home before anyone asks

>>34923763
All of the STDs lol...she was dressed up slutty, place was a mess, toilet was the grossest thing I've seen from a woman. Of course I learned this all after I was balls deep. She is mid 20s while I am mid 30s, you'd think I would know better. I guess the only thing "positive" is i didnt notice or feel any bumps. Ive only hooked up with 4 women in my life, my first one was my ex wife, dated a chick on hinge a few months after that, dated a bombshell after that with am avoidant personality that really fucked me up and I chose to stay single after that for a year and work on myself and then this random chick from the bar I just took home almost exactly a year later...not worth it at all. I have had a few other sexual encounters in between those but not actual sex, I would get performance anxiety and get in my own head so bad and go flaccid before I actually had sex. My ex wife it took like 4 attempts to actually have sex and then it was never an issue, same with the avoidant gal that was gorgeous. Ironically the gorgeous one had a good job and her shit together but like 3 weeks after hooking up she told me tested positive for HPV (cervical kind) on her pap smear. She was also a huge slut it turned out and had dated a ton of dudes over the years. Basically I learned that the casual hookup type relationship isnt for me, yeah it was nice to see I can have sex and pull woman but now I'm just sitting here spiraling about a possible STD. I'd like to think I learned my lesson(s). More terrified of a permanent STD like herpes.

I'm a pariah in my town and that makes dating extremely hard. All the women know of my autistic antics and the ones that don't are quickly informed by their friends, and I am once again ghosted. I've tried dating a few towns over but that doesn't work since everyone always has a friend, or a friend of a friend in my town. Even going as far as a town 1 hour away didn't help. The thing is however that I don't want to move, aside from women, I am comfortable here.

What do?

>>34924278
I don't. I think it gives off feminine energy. They'll think you're bi or closeted gay.

>>34924278
>>34924311
Obviously depends on the pic. I have one at a bar table with another girl and women seem to like it. Tinder usually sends that pic to the chat as "jane liked your picture" but idk how that works exactly.

>>34924297
>I am comfortable here.
Apparently not.

And this is like something from a movie anon. I'm sorry it's your life.

>>34924297
Lol. I wanna read your antics. Please, tell us.

>>34924283
>All of the STDs
>More terrified of a permanent STD like herpes
I'm guessing you don't have easy access to meds, but on the off chance you do it's always best to start them asap, right before sex is ideal for herpes protection, but they might still work afterwards.
Valaciclovir 500mg 2x/day for the next few weeks to try to prevent herpes infection from taking root, no real side effects
Azithromycin 1000g 1 time total, is low risk/sides to clear up gonorrhoeae/chlamydia
Also go get the hpv shot if you plan to bang more bar skanks

>>34924243
Isn't that too soon?

>>34924333
No easy access no...I started to look up female to male transmission of herpes, it looks like its fairly rare? Id like to think if someone knowingly had an STD they would disclose it...probably not this gal though.

>>34924324
But things are good here aside from being essentially barred from dating. It's not like women are openly hostile to me, and the men are indifferent. Things are overall good and stable here, it's getting crazy out there, I might as well stick to what I know.
>>34924330
I am paranoid to do so because they are so hyper-specific that if someone saw these posts they could instantly know who I was.

>>34924365
Forgive me but,
HOW CAN THINGS BE COMFORTABLE AND GOOD IF YOU'RE THE TOWN PARIAH???

>>34924358
>I started to look up female to male transmission of herpes, it looks like its fairly rare?
You're probably confusing that with hiv, which is nearly impossible to get from women. Herpes is very contagious both ways if there's an outbreak since it's just a skin infection, without an outbreak it's still possible but not nearly as likely

>>34922408
Wow thats my type
How do I get that?

>>34924401
Im saying if theres no outbreak its pretty rare though right? Like if said, I doubt I would be able to tell in the dark but when I was finger blasting away I didn't feel anything "off", probably wouldn't even if she had it though? My anxiety is through the roof though, I would like to think I know better now if I can somehow get away from this unscathed.

Still no luck, I’m 100% convinced now that white women HATE white males. Every white guy I know is gay now. I’m not attracted to men or their bodies, like even when I’m really horny I just can’t be attracted to them I try to cope and find them attractive but I can’t. Like my brain is wired to only find AFAB bodies attractive. I hate being white and male.
Never even hugged a foid that wasn’t my family.

>>34924424
>Im saying if theres no outbreak its pretty rare though right?
yeah, you're probably alright, how long ago was it?

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>practically instinctively attracted to tomboys
>half the time they're lesbian

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>>34924459
I know the feeling
I dont let the "lesbianism" stop me though

>>34924123
She's a nurse
She's pretty funny, I like her because of that. That also annoys some people but let's say her humor is my kind of humor if that makes any sense. She likes to pick on you while you're working.

>>34924442
Probably not long enough to know yet, Saturday night/ Sunday at like 2 am. I'm so hyped focused on my dick I feel like every little sensation is a disease... which is im sure just my anxiety through the roof...I don't think there's such a thing as " casual" sex anymore. I think what really freaked me out was how scuzzy her toilet was as superficial as that sounds, like if someone let's it get to that black mold type of shit in the bowl they probably don't treat their body that well either. Doesnt help that my dick is kind of sore from the act even now because I was making up for a year of abstinence so I've got sensations down there i haven't had in awhile anyway.

Is it okay to lie about my age? I know women do it all the time.

>>34922408
I cold approached a girl who was walking her dog and the dog ended up being from a shelter and she wanted to give him away. We went for a walk with her and the dog a few days later. Obviously i liked her and we were walking for a few hours and the girl asked me if i wanna continue the talk at a coffee shop or something. I left the dog at her place and we went for a coffee and driving around the town. We had good chemistry and same music taste and vidya taste and overall it was 8/10 experience. Then i left her at her house and when i called her 2 days later she was with a friend and we talked for like a min, then we didn't talk for 2 days and she sent me a pic of the place i work and told me she was passing buy.

Then we scheduled for seeing her today and she cancelled last min telling me to go for a coffee in a few days or so because she had her period and if we can talk over the phone today. And when I called her she was literally at the dog park with her dog. It's pretty much over. Maybe it's the age gap? I'm 33 she is 23

>>34924671
Yeah and attract trashy women who only like superficial successful men to drink margarittas to at a cocktail party, no fucking thanks.

>>34924711
...? Sounds like it's going well to me.

>Obviously i liked her and we were walking for a few hours and the girl asked me if i wanna continue the talk at a coffee shop or something.
How do you guys talk to the same person for that long? I'm always afraid I'm gonna have nothing to say. The last date I went on, we ran out of things to talk about 90 minutes in. Obviously, this is was the point where I should've invited her back to my house but I was too tired, but yeah, I don't know how you guys do it. Walking around for a couple hours, sounds like my nightmare because it'd go awkward 30 minutes in and she'd hate me.

>>34924715
how?

>>34922545
Few things more infuriating than a bad person trying to make themself feel like a good person. I have respect for evil people who just admit they are evil and do not care. But people who try and justify it, I want to grind them into paste.

>>34924735
She sent you a picture of the place you work, that's a huge sign. Cancelling because of her period, that's fine, especially since she replied with alternative plans (if a girl doesn't like you, she'll cancel without offering an replacement offer). If she keeps cancelling for another week, then okay, you can say it's gone bad, but so far seems fine to me.

>>34924726
If you run out of things to say with someone, it means you two just don't have chemistry and it's time to cut it off. When I talk to someone I actually click with I can talk on and on with them for hours on end. Though, I did once spend 16 hours straight with one girl even though I could hardly understand the words she was saying bc of her accent, so idk maybe I'm full of it.

>>34922962
I have both. I really wish I could overcome it. Once the conversation begins, I can say pretty much anything I want without too much fear. But initiating conversation with a new person feels like the scariest thing in the world, to the point where I make excuses and depress myself out of it.

What HAS helped for me though is having someone else there to tell me to say something. Like, I will look at a girl, then tell my friend, "Hey I'm going to go say XYZ to her, should I?" and as soon as they tell me to do it, I am fully able to go do it. It's like I have a gay af mental block where I have to be told to.

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Every time I've gotten with a girl I first hardcore made out with and got groped by a guy first.

I went to a party over the weekend and the girl I have a little thing for was there and we spent the whole night together flirting and having fun.

Then I hardcore made out with another man.

She's even more receptive of me and asked me to hang out this weekend.

>tfw 35 and the only way for me to score is to first have a man try to give me a boner.

well if it works it works I guess.

>>34924750
>She sent you a picture of the place you work,
That's before she cancelled

>Cancelling because of her period, that's fine, especially since she replied with alternative plans (if a girl doesn't like you, she'll cancel without offering an replacement offer)
She initially told me to reschedule for Thursday then she remembered she had 3 hour filming then told me Friday morning for brunch (which is friendzone offer). But yeah she seems kinda distant. Maybe she is seeing other people? I'm too blackpilled to even think positive at this point

>>34924881
How about you just see where it goes first before succumbing to the fires of despair?

>>34924888
Nice trips but it's Tuesday and haven't seen her for a week, he just sent me some video of the dog and the place i work at with a couple of voice messages and that's it, no initiation of meeting up, it really smells like friendzone

>>34924894
I'm confused. So she DID reschedule plans or no?

>>34924902
>So she DID reschedule plans or no?
We talked an hour ago and she was mumbling about meeting on Friday but she wasn't excited she just moved the days, it seemed really off.

Her original message was
>'being really honest j got my period last night and I’ve gotten really bad cramps. can we catch up on the phone instead today and go for coffee in a few days?'

But when i called her, we talked for 10 mins and her energy was off, i was about to hang up and she started asking me more things and we ended up talking 23 mins but we set a 'soft' date for Friday to see how things go until then. What do?

>>34924921
>What do?
Do nothing. If she likes you, she'll make it obvious. If she puts in no work, I'd just like it fade away. Sorry, anon.

>>34924344
Nope. That's what dates are for, to figure out if the person is worth your time.

>>34924939
>Do nothing. If she likes you, she'll make it obvious.
So the voice messages and sending me videos was just her wanting attention?

Is asking a friend to set you up with a girl a good idea? How do I even go about doing that?
>Hey bro, I've been single for a while, do you have a friend that you can set me up with?
>>34922718
You dramatically overestimate the number of people on this thread if you think that you caused this.

>>34924974
Nothing counts until you're actually hanging out. If you really insist, then if plans fall through again, you could try asking her out one more time. If still nada, then yeah, I'd move on.

>>34925096
>You dramatically overestimate the number of people on this thread if you think that you caused this.
It was just supposed to be a funny way to complain. Gosh, you ruin everything! *slams door*

>>34922423
Morning Glory Tegrity Farm

>>34923809
I'm seeing someone. Sorry !!

>>34924780
Yeah. Though in my case, even having a friend tell me isn't enough (and I don't have any friends anymore anyway).
I've been trying to come up with a metaphor to explain it, and the best I could come up with is: imagine you see a bowl of candy, and you want to take a piece. But there's some kind of knife trap over the candy that looks like it could cut off your hand if you trigger it. You think: maybe I can get the candy without triggering the trap, but idk... seems risky. So rather than even attempt, you just look away. Even if someone told you exactly how to get the candy without triggering the trap, it still seems too risky. Even if someone told you the trap was disabled and has a 0% chance of cutting off your hand... it's too risky. What if it malfunctions? What if they're lying? Because you know that if you put your hand in, and the trap cuts off your hand, everyone is going to laugh and call you a retard for thinking you could get the candy. Which is even worse than losing your hand.
That's basically how I live my whole life.

>>34925096
Best way to do it is to ask about a specific friend of theirs and ask if they’re single. Failing that just ask if they have any single friends they could introduce you to. People like playing matchmaker.

Of course once I leave the library today, all the women show up, AND they're all giving me the look on the way out. Sad. But I had somewhere to be so I couldn't just turn around and go back to my table.

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I think I might be legitimately retarded
This girl in class I find very cute:
>is always smiling at me
>has a disney like shine to her eyes when seeing me
>is always looking at me
>is always moving close to me and starting small talk
>is always sitting next to me or tries to
>a couple times suggested availability to spend time together in an education/college setting
>caught her looking at me like 5 times when I was doing something else
>someone brought some snacks to class so everyone gets some, she's helping with the distribution and when it's done she comes close and asks if I want another one, and if us two should eat the final 2

I'm just now realizing that the numbers didn't match, and she had to go out of her way to give give way more to other people so she could get close to me and do that
And I'm just now realizing that she didn't eat or answer when they asked if she wanted one until I did, and then she immediately did when I grabbed mine.
And I'm just now realizing everything I just posted before that


What the fuck is wrong with me?
I should ask her asap right?

>>34925542
No, let me show up and steal her first. Go get it, anon.

>>34924711
they're whimsical creatures and the whims of the day influence her
she didn't feel pretty to meet you that day
just invite her out one more time to something at night

Girl I've been into is newly single, as of in the last 48 hours. What's the acceptable amount of time to wait before taking action?

I really fumbled it this time. Don’t want this to come off as doomer but I met a really gorgeous girl that I just can’t get over. I wouldn’t even call it oneitis because I honestly would want nothing to do with her since she’s dated multiple other guys that we work with after I tried asking her out but I still think about her throughout the day. I feel insane. I just don’t see any other girl being anywhere close to her attractiveness.

>>34925868
Want me to swoop in and get some pics for you, anon? Will that help?

>>34925793
>wait
I don't know why you were waiting before if she wasn't married or with one of your friends

>>34925871
Pics of what?

>>34925366
I don't know if they even have any single friends. Maybe I'll just ask them outright to set me up with someone.

>>34925997
>I don't know if they even have any single friends
Which is why you would ask. If they don't, maybe they're dating someone who does have single friends. Unless you can count the amount of friends you have on one hand the odds are that it'll be one or the other.
>Maybe I'll just ask them outright to set me up with someone.
If you're fine with leaving it to chance

>>34922408
>match with an African girl
>we start dating
>she's bit of a ditz, likes shopping and romance novels, mentions on the first date how she wants to have children and retire in her 30s, kind of retracts those statements later on
>keeps asking deep probing questions, complains when I don't really dwell on things
>wants to text all the time, once wanted to call me to scream at me for not contacting her enough
>meeting once a week isn't enough for her
>third date, quick kiss on the lips is all I'm getting, sex only in relationship and after testing for HIV and whatnot
>message her for a fourth date, she texts back saying that our "goals don't align"
>delete the contact
Tbh I didn't like her all that much to begin with, I wanted a novelty of dating a black chick, so I'm kind of reliefed it ended this way

I'm not actually going to start because my aunt is doing chemo for lung cancer, but I wonder if smoking makes it easier to connect with people. You always have the excuse to "have a smoke" with someone to chat with them, the social lubricant is insane.

Alright, so I'm 99% sure a girl is interested, I'm crushing on her and I think shes just waiting on me
...
So now what?
Do I invite her to a coffee, some other casual stuff?
Like I'm frozen I never expected to get this far yet it's the most important

>>34926468
>Do I invite her to a coffee, some other casual stuff?
Yeah, exactly. Just a low pressure coffee date, then some texting, and then another date and you get the ball rolling

Got a 2nd date Sunday, first date was last Saturday. We had a bit of texting convo last Sunday, but since then we've just kinda moved into logistics for this weekends date, however that's just 1 text per day for both of us. She text last night to say she liked the date plan, so I'll text her today and tell her the time etc. Problem is, it's Wednesday. Should I just bring up another topic so the convo doesn't go completely cold over the next 2-3 days before the date, or is it better to just let it go now that the date is locked in.

>>34926583
Just swing her one or two messages a day unless she wants to talk more

>>34926583
No you will appear needy, don't text her and just wait to hear from her, else you just go pick her up on Sunday like a man.

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Going to a speed dating event this weekend, first time doing something like this. Has anybody been to one before and what was your experience like? Im gonna wear a nice tucked in short sleeved shirt to show off muh muscle and im gonna make sure my long hair is looking good. I wanna find somebody with somewhat similar interests so im probably gonna default to talking about lit and music if the conversation dries up. I am 26 and the age range is 24-39 so it will be novel for me to interact with more mature women in such a context.

>>34925542
You need to ask her out asap. If you can't guarantee you'll see her in the next 2 days then ask her out by text.

>>34925793
Do it now if you're willing to take the risk of being a rebound.

Thinking about my 2nd date plan, We're going for a walk on a country walking trail, then into a fancy bakery/cafe to get some stuff, then I'm thinking we should actually go to the beach to eat it as opposed to sitting in there. If I bring a towel and a blanket incase its a bit cold. Does that sound like a decent idea?

damn I'm looking hot today. anyone wanna hit the bars?

>>34926884
I was thinking of asking her out next week, but I do see her today.
I did text her a bit and she suddenly stopped the convo when she was the one trying to extend it, which I thought was a bad sign until my female friend checked it out and said that not only did she blatantly replied ASAP to my last texts but she also didnt even read the response, and in her mind she says it's because the girl exposed her true feelings instead of playing the waiting game on every text and is embarrassed.

And then I noticed yesterday night the chat notification settings displayed the full check marks so she was re reading the conversation and checking the message for some reason which leads me to believe she might be right

But if she's that embarrassed I don't want to put her on the spot, the plan was to gage her behavior today and then next week ask her in person

Listen here you all. If there was a ridiculous amount of pressure and punishment from the girl and the group of supposed friends you are with for not asking her out because you wanted to build a friendship and be kind, don't deal with them. The right woman won't play dumb games with you and the right friends know you are struggling. If anything she isn't supposed to ridicule you but be like, "it's okay anon, you didn't know, but I'm free Friday night and it'd be cool if we kissed and hang out together?" And that is what is meant to happen anon if she really liked you.

>>34927069
>But if she's that embarrassed I don't want to put her on the spot
Oh my god dude, stop overthinking this. You're asking her on a date not to marry you. Everything indicates she'll say yes, but if she says no so what? Just don't get butthurt over it.
Send her a voice note asking her out for coffee right now.

>>34922408
>died hair
>piercings
>worships Saturn but doesn't even know it or why that's bad
>probably has tattoos
Post actually desirable women only in future OPs please. Thank you.

>>34924208
would this work if you just want a date/hangout? i don’t want a long term thing just something to do for an evening

>>34925877
To me it does seem interesting that she never mentioned having a boyfriend until it was over
>>34926886
I would really prefer to be more than a rebound

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If a woman deeply loves you mistakes and odd nuances will be forgiven.

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>>34922484
A married man I see.

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>>34924888

I don't think I can connect with women at all or even perform any of theirs expectations.

>>34922545
They probably already were sex friends.
If a women says she is "single", that doesn't mean she doesn't get fucked by someone on a regular basis.
So you'll say it's the same for men? No, because men with sexfriends usually don't have strong feelings for the sexfriend, but women do have feelings for the chad that is regularly having sex with her.

>>34928189
That's okay. You aren't alone. You'll get there some time. Even if you don't you at least got to enjoy the journey of life.

How come so girls just instantly get attracted as soon as they first see anyone else? What am I doing wrong? I don't dress like a bum, I shower, I am thin, I don't even appear as desperate as before (I'm not feeling desperate now, I feel fine when talking to girls, I'm just frustrated right now). What's wrong? Maybe it's my face? Maybe how new I am to approaching just makes me appear as if I don't know what I'm doing? How come many approaches fail for me?

>>34928396
It's this fratboy appeal of a guy who has his shit together. We live this life where we have to try hard to be fit, successful, and all of that. The fratboy just coasts along because that stuff comes natural. We be like, "Oh I just invested in stocks." following some bullshit tip from a forbes magazine. Fratboy is over here telling the girls, "I just spent 1,000 dollars on bitcoin in the fantasy league and made back 10 grand bro." and the girls giggle. You know what we talk about? Video games. The frat boy talks about what a real life is. What we are essentially facing is God's consequence for living a comfortable life. He didn't want us to turn into idols for having good lives, so the people who struggled he gave the chicks to since it makes them human.

>>34928396
you have no aura nigga, you need to work on that

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Got this from the 39 year old Asian single mother I went on 3 dates with. Most recent one we made out in the forest and I felt up her tits a bit. Then I get this after 3 or 4 days. Probably another dude but goddamn. I already am banging 2 other girls so I don't really care but it is a bit disappointing. Should I ask to be friends with benefits? It won't work but I hate these gay HR texts. I mean it's better than ghosting though so maybe I should just be polite. I'm not trying to be rude I just want pussy if at all possible.

>>34928396
Fix your posture and realize it's 90 percent luck. Also realize that no one here is really gonna be able to help you because we can't judge your body language unless you post a video or something.

>>34928189
Get psychoanalysis. Deconstruct and understand yourself. Understand your traumas and learn how to navigate relationships while carrying those traumas.

>perform any of theirs expectations
What you should be seeking and what other healthy women should be seeking is connection, and that has nothing to do with performance.

As far as their expectations goes, women have fantasies, just like you, but they also want connection, just like you. A huge part of dating is managing your fantasies. Women are people too. They are full of flaws. They can be lazy, avoidant, angry, sad, insecure, just like you.
The question you should ask is: are YOU fantasizing too much? Do you want to connect with a real woman who will judge you, or some fantasy version of a woman who's perfect and loves you unconditionally?
You would never love a woman unconditionally, so why should she?

The best women out there are those managing their fantasies too, and because of that, they will accept and love YOU. You're a flawed human being worthy of love and admiration as long as you're willing to acknowledge your flaws and work to minimize or eliminate them.

Just like you, women want to present the idealized version of themselves to the world. Some women seem so put together and flawless because they're hiding their shit. The bridge to intimacy is to slowly open up to a woman and get her to share her flaws and issues with you too. In fact, this is a very powerful and potentially dangerous way of bonding, it can turn into masochism.

>>34928396
the "it" factor. and you see guys with less than amazing looks having success thanks to it as well. it's basically just natural charm, confidence given by life experience, and authenticity (none of that "if i do that or this maybe she'll like me" attitude, the sort of mindset that makes you act like a cringe teenage girl and dries everyones pussies instantly).

>>34928396
First of all, do you have a life? When you look at yourself from outside, who are you?

Your answer:
>I don't dress like a bum, I shower, I am thin

Ok... so why would women be interested in you? You go talk to some random woman and say what?
>hey, I take showers and... look at my clothes... bums don't wear those!


>How come so girls just instantly get attracted as soon as they first see anyone else?
Think of it like this: what does a surfer dude communicate to the world? He's bronzed, fit, wears a tank top and sandals.
What does that say?
>I like nature. I like going outside. I like to go on adventures. I've met people at beaches. I have surfer friends. I have looked at the ocean and thought deeply about life.
That's what women see. They see someone interesting, deep and fun. This will attract a lot of women.
Oooh girls they wanna have fun!!
Have you EVER tried to have fun?

Considering the gachapill rn

None of the people here have GFs
You guys just have hookups
I refuse to think that people in a happy relationship make constand threads about "getting women"

"Getting women" sounds so deseparate.

>>34929207
>39 year old Asian single mother
Holy fucking shit dude take the pussy off the pedestal. All that nonsense she sent is code for she's not attracted to you. How old are you?

I think something that is undervalued is the ability to relax.

Women are more aware of this and go to therapy and do shit like when they upload themselves thrashing and screaming as if they were possessed. That's an actual therapeutic mechanism used to release deep seated tension and anxieties.

The Greeks practiced something of the sort in pankration, where they would scream at the top of their lungs until all the air was evacuated out of the lungs, and from there they would meditate.

Look into using these kind of tactics to get rid of your deep seated tensions and anxieties. Women can smell when you're tense and anxious inside, once you release that you will be able to attract women and keep them attracted.

>>34930296
33. I know what its code for and I'm honestly wondering if I need to just drop girls if they don't fuck on the first date. Or at least make out on the first date. My main chick rn I had my fingers in her puss on date 1. But then another girl didn't even kiss on the first date, but by date 4 I was plowing her pussy. So I don't know honestly. I just wonder why she didn't drop me after date 1 if she wasnt interested. I only did one dinner date and maybe the 3rd date being a walk and me kissing her made her realize I wasnt a free meal ticket so she dropped me. I don't know.

So yeah maybe I'll just say "we could be friends with benefits" but that sounds kinda gay. Or just say we could hookup sometime. If nothing else it will piss her off which would be funny.

>>34929611
I had 2 girlfriends bro and it was a massive waste of time. My current "situationship" is a million times better than the relationships I had. Anecdotal evidence I know, but look at all the redpill/black pill shit out there, women leaving their man of 10 years that she was never actually attracted to. She's not yours, it's just your turn. Enjoy your turn before it's over.

>>34929611
>None of the people here have GFs
You're right
>You guys just have hookups
You're wrong, I also don't have hook ups

This thread is the blind leading the deaf.

what are you supposed to do when a girl stops you right as you are about to fuck?
I've noticed something here too:
The hot ones never do this. (well, 2/3 hotties I've been with)
the meh ones do
Why? How do I get passed it?

>>34930461
you stop
dumbass

>>34930471
but she came to your place at 10pm and been making out the whole time?

>>34930478
consent can be withdrawn at any time
you stop
try again later or not at all
don't get rapey on me anon

>>34929611
i post often
and over the course of around one year ive gotten close
everything ive learned ive shared here
and advised others
now i have a girl who considers me her boyfriend

but, the big issue here is that the advice that works can not truly be differentiated from the one that doesn't due to the nature of anonymous image boards

which brings me to the advice that works:
meet more girls

do whatever it takes to meet more girls
make that your only goal and your life will fall into place

>>34923605
>>34927741
Some guys actually like that type of girl. See: >>34924411
We try to be inclusive to a diverse range of preferences here.

>>34930461
you should have stopped her before she has a chance to stop you
the trick is to be like oh we're moving too fast
and she'll get frustrated and push harder
or agree and it wasn't meant to be anyway
not enough comfort, or connection
so you stop and don't force things
keep the vibe going and let HER seduce you
not the other way around

What do I talk with women about? How do I flirt?

>>34930541
The thing is I can't tell who is going to stop me or when they are going to stop me.
Are you saying I should just always try stopping the girl every time? That seems so ridiculous and try hard.
I can see doing it when you kiss. I like to be the first to pull away, I definitely make them pull me back with this, but leading up to fucking? Like, we're already on the fucking bed.
Should I just abruptly get up and wander off? lol

>>34930587
correct, if she isn't the one reching into your pants you pull back and be like in a smooth voice in the same vibe of the moment the words i think we're moving too fast
that will cause her to get more into it

the key is to not change the mood drastically ever with a girl
if she says the same thing you agree but you don't stop you let things slow down
think of a volume knob
when it's too loud you move it down slowly
you don't turn it off because that's really off putting

>>34930577
you don't flirt you simply fuck her with your eyes
and make sure the convo is not information exchange (question answer repeat is anti-flirting)
but playful back and forths

I've had feelings for one of my closest friends for 2 months now. As I type this, she is currently at her friends with benefits house, most likely getting fucked. She wants him to get serious but knows deep down he won't. She considers herself single; her words.

I've finally snapped, gonna tell her how I feel in a low pressure way tomorrow; i can't take this shit anymore: she's all I think about and I overthink when around her. I'll never know if I don't try.

I'm a 28 year old virgin, I'm fully expecting to be turned down once again tomorrow. Either our friendship survives or that makes it easier to move on.

Why would girl drop hints left and right 24/7 and making herself available to everything I ask, telling me shes up for it, while telling me to contact her through cellphone, and then be somewhat distant on text but also sometimes does big fucking messages?

Holy shit pick a side

i want closure from her even if it means rejection, but she just keeps ghosting me. should i take that as rejection or push and get blocked?

>>34931083
Either one is fine. If you already know you're going to get blocked, it doesn't matter either way.
In your situation i wouldn't do anything at all, there's a small chance she reaches out to you eventually.

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>>34931094
She replied... with a KISSING emoji aswell. Life is good again

>>34931223
What did you say to her?

>>34931241
I said I’ll have to leave the country for some time, and I was wondering if I could see her before I leave because I miss her

>>34930333
That's what red pill used to originally meant before turning into weird tradlarp around 2015 or so.
Agonizing over a perfect romance doesn't make sense.
Take what you can get under the circumstances you can create and leave well enough alone.

Let me tell you all something that is gonna be different for your situation. You need to hold on to yourself with a tough grip when life hands you crap from women, their friends, and your parents reacting to how bad you were. What I am telling you is not to be bad, but rather, be brave for yourself. You didn't ask to be an asshole to her when you walked up as your dorky self to ask her out. This stuff just happens. But instead of demanding you be the protagonist in her story. Let's instead see ourselves as human and continue on with life focusing on that. Yeah were not a 10 and yeah we kind of have ugly personalities. However, when we let ourselves be human instead of perfect, life gets easier, and maybe some day the right one will accept that human version of you instead of this perfection your current crush wants.

>cute girl sees me on train to college, noticed her looking at me a couple times but thats about it, when I tried to reciprocate she always quickly looked away so didnt pay it no mind
>I take the same train to go back home
>yesterday I took the train with a different girl, talking with her all the way
>suddenly notice the first girl was there
>couldnt take her eyes off me and seemed quite shocked
>even saw some disdain in her eyes

Why the fuck are foids like this?
At this rate having a wing man girl around me at all times would probably pay off for itself

>>34931083
Life's not a movie, you won't get a closure on many issues. The fact she's ghosting you tells you everything you need to know

>>34928401
I struggled, too. I don't enjoy anything anymore, even. I have a serious mental problem, too. I have to finish my degree right now, I have priorities.

>>34929059
How?

>>34929393
That's pretty much it.

>>34929536
I don't do things for girls now. I don't change my opinions for others, even. I'm just doing things my way these days. I know that you should never chase anyone's approval, not to mention chase girls.

>>34929544
Most of it is just me trying to figure what might be UNATTRACTIVE. I know that showering, being thin, and not dressing up bad are just basic things. I have tried to have fun. I want to have more experiences, as well. I'm not trying to overdo it. I was just trying to see what sets me apart. I think that I just don't have as much experience talking to others. I did just get out of very bad times, I'll admit. I did see myself on the outside once, and I hated what I saw because I saw that I was chasing women. I don't do it anymore. I don't want to chase them. I don't even know them. I do try to keep socializing because it feels good and is healthy. I just get a bit tired of not feeling attractive. I get ghosted even if girls say "yes" when I ask them out.

>>34930304
This.

The only way to get erect with a woman is to be fully relaxed. Makes you think doesn't it?

>>34929611
I don't yet but I feel like I'm about to. I've been talking and dating a bunch of women and I think I recently found my girlfriend. Our connection was natural and she's always starting conversations and wanting to be with me, pretty sure it'll happen.

Do you think some women will be attracted to the idea of a man that had somewhat of a rough upbringing and was kind of fucked but worked really hard to build himself and became successful?

My childhood was a mess and had a ton of issues which led me into chaos in my early 20s, was homeless and struggled with addiction and promiscuity,
Now at 30 I make 80k a year have a great career and a house and a dog and I’m very fit and in shape and my life is good

I really, really like fit clean cut women. But I worry those kinds of girls will judge me for my past.

>>34931440
>Most of it is just me trying to figure what might be UNATTRACTIVE ...
Because your post was long I won't quote the entire post.

You are on the right path. Socializing is good and healthy, keep doing it. Don't worry about rejection or cold approaching. Honestly, people here will disagree with me but dating apps are better than cold approaching in a way, that's just reality. Pay for the premium-whatever tier where you profile is actually shown to women. It is much much more likely to find a compatible woman on a dating app.
What do you want on a woman? If you like to travel you want a woman who likes to travel, and on a dating app you can see that she does, but on a cold approach? Highly unlikely. See what I mean?

What sets you apart is who you are, your inadequacies and all. And you should have the mentality that you're not looking for "someone". "Someone" doesn't exist. You're looking for a real woman who's compatible with YOU.

You know why women are so picky? Because they know this. HEALTHY women know this anyway.
Their estrogen-filled socially intelligent brains know this inherently, sadly the male brain doesn't. All we can do is understand this, but we can never truly internalize it.

Keep trying to connect with women. It is so freeing when you keep trying over and over again and it keeps failing, and it fails so often that the new failures don't bother you AT ALL. In fact, the failures assure you that those women weren't meant to connect with you.
And then... it happens, you connect with one, and it's amazing and makes it all worth it.

>>34931688
>do you think some women will be attracted to the idea of a man that had somewhat of a rough upbringing and was kind of fucked but worked really hard to build himself and became successful?
Yes.

>>34929207
>Should I ask to be friends with benefits?
She's not into you, anon. Move on.

>>34931688
Only if you can be creative, spontaneous and child-like. Do you have any creative hobbies?

>>34931711
Not him but I refuse to use dating apps

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I live in a town with 500k people and I guess not many people use bumble here.
Gemini says an 8% yes rate is above average for males. I don't feel above average though, I can barely get a date and yes I'm good at talking to women.

>>34932102
Are you a bratty teenager? Do you refuse to get a job too? Too scared of the real world? Pussy...

>>34922430
In the same boat except for the abandoned part. She'll still respond to my texts, but the cunt keeps making excuses as to why we can't meet. So far, she's passed me up to hang out with 2 friends and go to 2 birthday parties despite telling me she's too tired and wants to rest on the weekend. It makes me wanna cave her fucking skull in. Just say you're not interested.

>>34932221
I hate my job
But Dating Apps are a grift to rip off desperate men

>>34931688
>Do you think some women will be attracted to the idea of a man that had somewhat of a rough upbringing and was kind of fucked but worked really hard to build himself and became successful?
Hell no. A small handful maybe, but don't share any of that unless she really presses you about it. Most women hate the idea of a man who's had to struggle at any point, even if it was before you met. Your success should look effortless and natural to her. Your current life is great women don't care what it took to get there. Only men look up to that kind of thing.

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>have a good date, conversation flows well, lots of laughing, she touches me several times, get a phone number
>no response to my message
I almost long for a date where it's obvious from the start it's not going to work

Text Game Intent
You have to make your intentions clear when texting, otherwise women will get confused. Are you trying to vibe with her and have fun? Make it clear in your communication. Don’t send anything that could come across as rude. Are you trying to get her number or take her out? Then make sure your conversation is leading towards your objective and you aren’t just floating around. Don’t make anything sound serious or like a big deal. When you ask for her number do it in a fun way not an “oh god this guy is going to take this too seriously” way. Make sure you are leading the conversation hard from the start, don’t make her have to think at all. This is a slide and you are guiding her towards a meet up. When you’re on point send voice notes. If you already have her number send fun pictures or selfies of yourself when out.

>>34922408
I'm 32, i live in NYC, have my own 1 bedroom apartment in astoria, got laid a few times in the past few years, and now im just done. the girls here are fucking retarded communist nigger fucking sluts that will constantly throw leftists shit tests. i fucking hate every woman here. i hope they all get raped to death. i don't want a modern woman, i just want to buy a supermodels genes. i just want you to know, if you're a girl in nyc, you're less than human and i hate your guts.

>>34932506
Sell your shit and move while you can.
Check to see if your company can transfer you to less retarded state (Texas and Utah are as retarded as NY)
Also get a surrogate

>>34931711
You've written what I thought! I'm not just searching for anybody. I'm searching for women in events that I'd go. I don't go just to be with women, it's something that is fun, however. Dating apps work from time to time, but I've got to get better pictures. I've got a tiny hint of experience attracting a woman, I just want to be more attractive for any woman that's right for me.

>>34932292
In her brain she's making it as obvious as possible and you should take the hint, which I guess is accurate. Time to board the train again, we'll reach our stop someday. Maybe.

>>34931688
>I really, really like fit clean cut wo-
You're fine

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I would like to have a girlfriend to take her out on cute dates and take photos of her like the general photos of her eating. Pic related.

Easiest way to put yourself around more women without having to cold approach your way? I have a lot of hobbies, I go out with male friends, etc, but we’re not party people nor the type to just have girls gravitate to us when we go out. My job is filled with only old women.
By all metrics I check most of the basic boxes and I do think I’m an interesting person with a decent life. But, I don’t naturally meet women in my day to day life and I don’t want to cold approach or use dating apps.

>>34932619
You think?

>>34932298
What isn't a grift in the modern world? Everything is for profit. Will you stop buying groceries just because the owner is making a profit?

Yes, you have to pay so that your profile actually shows to women, but if you can't pay for platinum for a month or two maybe you have other things in your life you have to figure out before dating.

>>34932762
Nah, you should kys rn because you will never get pussy ever again

>>34932752
Recurring theme in this thread.
>I want to date but I don't want to do the things that are required to find women to date
Ok bro, good luck then.

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>mention to coworker that I'm into amateur street photography
>do portraits from time to time for side money
>she says she's always wanted to pose for nude photos
>brings it up the next day and shows me examples of boudoir shots she thinks are "hot"
>then shows me an outfit she has in mind which is just fishnets and heels

What do I do now bros, the simulations didn't prepare me for this

>>34932618
I don't think so. If she wanted me to fuck off, those kind of "hints" are one word answers or not responding. She responded in 4 minutes after a week of silence. That tells me the opposite.

>>34933168
That's called breadcrumbing dude. Look how elated you are to get a single message after 7 entire days of silence from a creature that's surgically attached to its phone. Think about that for a moment.

The world isn't black and white. However saying it's nothing but a shade of gray is also a black and white statement.

Remember it's ok to hate women sometimes. You don't always need to treat them with respect because some of them honestly don't even remotely deserve it.

Just remember it's not all women and treat the women who are nothing but whores like they whore they are, and treat the ones who are human like that human they are.

>>34932821
My therapist says that what I am is enough, and I don't need to be on these apps or fear making women uncomfortable in public.

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>>34922408
34M here. Have a decent apartment in a crappy town. It's a small town, but has a good sized student population due to the college and university we have, as well as it's proximity to Toronto.

Am I cooked? I feel like I am a fucking dinosaur when I go out due to how much older I am than most others. On top of that I don't have much of a friend group. Friends I do have are married and/or have kids, or don't live here anymore.

Have a few hobbies, nothing super group-oriented though. Typical wasn't-a-college-athlete-mid-30s-guy-with-no-kids hobbies: rock climbing, running, weightlifting. Not looking just for pussy necessarily, want to have a family. Not interested in fat women, which is what 90% of the age range around me is it seems. Occasionally hop back on the apps but try not to due to aforementioned fatty demographic problem.

Thoughts? Is it over for me?

>>34933239
I didn't get a single message as shown by the screenshot. We had a conversation. Don't jump from
>she wants you to go away
But when I inform you she responded quickly
>uh, well she's just baiting
Because now it just seems like you're randomly picking worst case scenarios. I can believe she's using me for attention and that I set up a dynamic where she doesn't feel any pressure to reach out or escalate things because I give her what women desire. That makes sense. Her wanting me to leave her alone doesn't make any sense, and bread crumbing seems more consciously malicious, which she doesn't seem to be. I tried to SIMP early on and she flat out told me "No.", so it's not like she's TRYING to use me consciously.

>>34933339
I'd break it down, but you clearly have your mind made up, so best of luck to you.

>>34933135
Be prepared for friend zone and her gaining online popularity

>>34933385
I very much doubt you could. You're just being aimlessly pessimistic instead of realistic like the other posters. I thank you for the luck though. I think we're all going to need it, so I wish you the same.

Depressedcell here. I usually stay home and do nothing and I need to find a job i started therapy and am prescribed adderall. Anyway an old friend came to visit my older brother and he took me out to a bar. We drank and he gave me some cocaine and smoked weed. After drinking all night I tried seeing a prostitute with some money I save up. It was awful because it felt dirty, I was rushed and full of substances and I got huge cramps 8lin my thighs. I couldn't finish or cum and wasted about 100 bucks for 20 minutes.
I guess in trying to fix my life what else can I do to make the next sexual encounter better. It was really eye opening and I don't want to be broke and depressed anymore, I want to be ready for good sex if it ever happens again. Do you stretch regularly? What else do you do.

>>34932752
>>34932752
You need to use dating apps. There are really only three options: cold approach which is the hardest especially if you have no girls already, warm/social circles which depends on your available social circles and if you are really going to practice in them and get rejected, leaving dating apps. Do dating apps, it’s literally the easiest but it’s not easy. Dating apps will teach you a lot about how to communicate with women and how to have a profile that showcases yourself. And desu I would just do a few cold approaches just because you sound so scared of it but dating apps is really where you will learn. Once you start getting dates then it will be way easier to find women IRL to date because you already have experience with women
>>34933317
Use apps but you need to improve your rating if you only get fat chicks. Stop swiping right on everything, get better pictures that show you candid having fun or being focused. When your rating improves you will get the hotter chicks which are using the apps

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I don’t know what to do
I know it’s still soon off a still kind of fresh breakup as well as being completely raped by a work schedule change until december, but I so miss having someone to talk to and be close with and I don’t want to go into the holidays alone.

>>34933696
This general isn't for moping about a breakup faggot there's like 3 other generals on this board for that

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The truth about "how to get women" is nobody is prepared for the amount of rejection you will have to endure, especially not men on 4chan, and you shouldn't have to deal with it. No generation for us had to face dating in the post-social-media, post-dating-app world.

The confidence and aloofness required to power through rejection after rejection after rejection and learn something each time and come away with positivity and a willingness to go another round borders on psychopathy. The mental fortitude to be unshakable as woman after woman declares you explicitly unfuckable rivals that of some spy being tortured for information.

"how to get women" can be learned, but it takes so much out of you, the knowledge and ability is not without its price. I'm not even sure if someone can fully psychologically recover from the trials, even after they master

>>34933601
I earnestly and intentionally don't swipe on everything, only women I intend on actually talking to. I'd say I swipe right on maybe 1 in 10-12?

>>34933593
do yoga

>>34922718
people dont know how to form positive relationships anymore. Whole societys gone exploitative.

>>34924101
>U never suggest anything, desire operates in ambiguity so you never say "let's fuck
Your right about what most women want, but I'm the exact opposite. Best encouters I've had have been straightforward.
One time I said "I want to fuck your brains out". She liked it & we had a great time.

>>34933840
>rivals that of some spy being tortured for information.

You should know that resisting torture is not really possible. Everyone breaks. Sooner, later. Always.

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If you want to get good at women you have to be able to vibe.
What is vibing??? Chances are if you go on here you come from a more logical background, you think a lot, analyze things, etc. If you notice the guys who are around girls a lot, they are not like this. They are more tapped into emotions and having fun, like they are somebody who could improv a character or do funny accents easily for example. They are going with the flow. This is hard as fuck when you are more used to being logical and thinking a lot. You will naturally want to walk up to a girl and have a logical conversation "Hi, how are you. Where are you from. What do you do" etc. Women HATE this. They like the fun, crazy, non-sense of socializing not the logic. So vibing is all about throwing energy around, passion, juice, etc. It doesn't have to make sense, it doesn't need to make sense, it's like playing. If you are getting ignored in person or when texting a girl it's probably because you are having a boring logical conversation and not vibing with her. You are going to have to learn how to do this because you probably haven't been like this since you were younger.
Once you start learning how to do this you just need to learn how to lead at the same time. As a man you have to take the lead. So while you are having fun, vibing, keeping her engaged you get her number (in person or from an app), or you plan a meet-up, or you move her to another location. This is more straightforward and logical (we will meet here at this time), whereas the vibing part is the one many people here probably struggle with. Just know once you get a taste of it, you get a glimpse of what socializing can be like which is a lot more fun. I am assuming many people here never had a girlfriend or really connected with a girl before so it can be a struggle to get here initially but this info will help a lot

>>34933840
I would agree with you because I can relate to where you are coming from but it doesn't have to be this way. If you are starting from ground zero or even negative one, as in you had a bunch of negative social experiences from school or family and now you are trying to bulldoze your way to pussy by mass approaching girls then you are FUCKED. I approached many many girls and I'd say 90% were very awkward and 10% were more neutral and even positive. The thing is having so many more negative experiences compared to positive sucks. I wasn't even in the headspace to take out any of the girls who's contact info I got. And if I did it was not smooth, I only got glimpses of hope at best. You do have to become unshakable and confident, yes I agree but you also have to approach this intelligently and not like a fucking idiot. If you have no experience with women, a virgin or close, never had a GF and you are just cold approaching random girls this is a really dumb strategy. Eventually it may work but if you are coming from severe social anxiety or low self esteem it may never work. It makes you feel more confident when you can do it but it's relying on momentum (I got a girls number now I feel good and will try to get another, etc). You need a better strategy and getting the positive experiences that will transform you. The best way of doing this right now is dating apps. You don't have to run around getting rejected by 50 girls. The girls PICK you. You match with them, and then you take it from there. You only talk to girls that already said yes to you. And yes you have to learn how to set up a good profile, but these skills as learning to setup social media will literally drown you in pussy when you get them dialed in.

Fucked up, didn't I?
>Meet appropriate female that isn't absolutely out of reach for someone like me hanging out with friends
>Head home with her, fun times
>Talk to her not too frequently on text though, doesn't seem to be too bothered about it
>Ask her if she wants to hang out
>Unread for 2 days
I'm mostly certain I'm going to see her again, so this shit is kind of awkward. I'm used to basic rejection or at the very least to be left on read. Fuck, I'll take "fuck off" as an answer, we still don't know each other that much anyways.

I saw a 4/10 guy with a 7/10 girl yesterday. There is hope for you all yet!

>>34932749
Nissaxter?

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>>34933840
That's why you need to ditch the apps and internet and go out. It's poison for your mind and frankly the only people who "thrive" and "live" behind a screen aren't worth dating anyways.

>>34933840
Goddamn anon, wasn't expecting to read a trvke so early

>>34934455
I want to so much.
I wish I could easily leave for the woods with a dog and a 10mm Glock

>>34934593
Literally go chase your dreams. Start doing research and see what you can and can't do, what you can and can't work towards. That's how you find enlightenment. You have to do it.

>>34933286
>what I am is enough
They're right about this.
>and I don't need to be on these apps
They're wrong about this.

The apps are just effective means of meeting women. There are good women on the apps just like there are bad women, just like bars, parties, museums, etc. On the apps there are women who are bar hoppers, women who love art, women who stay mostly home and like to read, etc... The spectrum is very wide and you can find any type of woman there.

>>34933135
Shave your balls and have condoms available.

>>34933840
I learned to get women after going bald. Losing my hair was so traumatic but I endured it and came out much stronger. The result is I started trying to seduce women like a madman and that's how I learned to get women. There was a lot of failure and brutal rejection but it worked.

>>34933886
If you don't pay for platinum and you're not a gigachad with a high elo then your profile simply won't appear for women.
You have to pay. If your have decent pictures and bio you will get matches. And keep not swiping on every woman, swipe on women you would actually date, ALWAYS. Be super selective just like women are.

Then talk to EVERY match and learn how to talk to women. You'll learn what works and what doesn't by doing. Tip: being overtly sexual/flirty/too many free compliments never works, just by avoiding that you're doing better than most retards on these apps.

>>34934415
Si!

>>34934080
Fuck,
fuck fuck fuck fuck, she said "yep"

I am really fit and physically attractive.

I used to have low standards and now I really only want to date other women who are fit or atleast just naturally attractive. Is that shallow??
I’m like afraid of not finding someone I’m really excited about who also chooses me.

>Girl in class has been dropping all the possible signs and hints
>Going home after class, we both live somewhat close
>She remembers I take the train, invites herself to go with me
>We missed the train, next one is 40 minutes from now
>I tell her I'm just gonna wait for the next one, expected her to give up
>Immediately says she'll wait too
>we end up talking for 45 minutes, then on the train, then a 10 minute walk all talking nonstop

This is a no brainer right?
I don't think even some of my best friends would've waited that just to be with me.
I would've asked her out right there if I didn't had an meeting I couldn't miss.

>>34934763
>Is that shallow??
No

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>>34933840
Ok faggots, I hear about people getting rejected by women hundreds of times with no success
But HOW exactly are you getting rejected, and what are you actually categorizing as a rejection?
How many times did you got turned down in public, vs. a bad convo on an app, etc.

>>34934763
Just date a ham planet. She'll be ecstatic and you'll feel less guilty. The total happiness in the world increased.

>>34934633
Even so, I think she is right and you are wrong about apps. If this was just about exposure to women/more chances to meet women then I guess you can appmaxxx. But I don't need apps to meet women because I can just go to a bar put a mask on and pick up some whore.

I just need to stop taking advice from retards from online and I'll be fine.

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Why the FUCK would a girl be glued to me and creating situations for us to be together and telling me to contact her just for her to not open the fucking chat?

Its not like I gave her the ick she came on even stronger last time we did a short text talk and then never opened/read the final text

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the sub-5 foid that I went on a couple of dates with went to do Eramus and is already getting fucked by chad-lite(left). Br00tal
I just saw this pic, but I think I'm right.

>>34935986
things are grim if thats a chad

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>>34933840
Even worse is that even after all that effort many men never truly place themselves in a better position with women. You might barely get a fuck or a girlfriend, but once its done you're back at square 1 having to tank rejections again. All these threads and the only established strategy is to throw shit til it sticks, guys just praying they get lucky. Why? Because the hardest thing for a man to do is to put himself on a equal level with women in terms of value. Our strategy is no different from a Jester going to castle to castle dancing for the various queens of the land enduring humiliation until he finds one that wants him to stick around and pay for the opportunity.

>35
>went to a club for the first time in years
>by myself

Fucking krill me. I've only ever really done this shit at anime cons and with friends. God I feel both way to old and want to own the living shit out of all these zoomers. I will admit, they are partying bretty good.

>>34922757
This is terrible advice

>>34922768
Anon, are you looking for a partner or a fling? I know not everyone is blessed with charm but making most normal women laugh is usually a good start. Women are attracted to men who make them laugh. Exude what confidence you can muster, show (learn if need be) some emotional intelligence. Empathy helps. Be interested in what she's saying. I can't explain how to be charming but it's something you can at least look into and learn about if you don't possess it.

>>34934643
>being overtly sexual/flirty/too many free compliments never works
100% agree about the compliments, it's beta loser strategy
100% disagree about flirting and being sexual. This is the opposite of the usual beta strategy of being indirect, shows the woman you're not insecure or afraid of saying what you truly want unlike every other loser out there trying to be "friends" with her, but most of all, it lets you know early on in the interaction if she is a time-wasting attention vampire or if she actually has genuine sexual attraction for you, which is the most important thing that you should be looking for, specially if you want a relationship.

The women who'll cut you off for trying to escalate the interaction towards sex are the ones who were going to waste your time 99 times out of 100

This is assuming you don't look like a serial killer of course

>>34934775
Yes. Go for it.

I text this girl every day
I've seen her twice
second time i saw her, on the way down the elevator i kissed her and then we went to a hotel and almost had sex
almost, becase she told me to use a condom and that immediately made me soft
like my body felt it like a transaction

but she's been texting me her life updates and always texts way more than i do.

But i'm afraid of being too available
and afraid that next time we meet if i try and have sex, she'll pull back
(because this has hapened to me already like 5 times)

>>34935986
Sorry anon. It be like that.

>>34936480
Damn, I wish I could just kiss girls like that.

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...what exactly am I supposed to talk about on the first date?

I've heard from FEMALES conflicting info:
>Don't talk about yourself make it about her!
>Don't turn it into an interview and bombard her with questions!
>Don't come in too hard
Like what the FUCK

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>>34922408
>go on a date
>girl mentioned on the app she's on the bigger side
>she is
>decently fun night, got a number
Part of me always wanted to smash a bigger chick, but another part of me is pic related

How does one "Seal the Deal"?
I am able to talk to women and make them laugh and whatnot, but wjen it comes to actually making a move on them to further territories, I don't know how. Like if you're at a party and can get her to the bedroom or bathroom or another secluded place, How do I turn the thing sexual?

>>34936701
For me i found watching amateur spy/hidden camera porn and copying the mens moves helps

>>34936283
only good advice in this shit thread

Im obsessed with a 40 yo single mom with 2 kids. Even though i know she probably won't give me a biological child i still love her so much

>>34936099
Once you go through the grinder you lose some desire and respect for women. THEN they want you.

>>34936245
zoomers cant even look at women, who thinks theyre partying well? At least you went out anon.

I've never approached a girl in my life, but I'm pushin 30 and I really gotta conquer this fear of approach shit. I saw a beautiful girl yesterday with her friends at the dive bar then they left and she stayed just working on her laptop alone, like it was probably the freest simple approach to just ask if I could chat her up and I didn't take it man.

>>34936575
Quite literally bee yourself

Just back from a 2nd date, somehow did not end up going well. First date went out for drinks, convo was great, not too much flirting, held hands and kissed at the end of the night. She was very easy to organise date 2 with. Went for a walk on nature path, then to a bakery to get a pastry and coffee. Walk was good, talked the entire time not too much physical contact though for a 2nd date she kept a few inches extra to herself which was noticeable. Did hold hands towards the end of the walk for a little while, then went to get pastry+coffee, convo is still good at this point. Suggest going to the harbour for a few mins, she said she had another 30 mins before she needed to go that was fine. Try to hold her hand after crossing the road, she said she didnt want to hold hands. Head was kinda spinning a little bit as I was trying to figure out what to do, my dad then drives around the corner despite being in a town 45 mins away from my house, so I was sweating buckets. Walk for another 10 mins before going back to the car park. Knew I couldnt go for a kiss so we had a short hug and pretty brief goodbye. 95% sure its fucked, nothing more I really could have done here she just wasnt a very flirty or physical girl it seems, even though we had fantastic conversation.

There is the slight thought in my mind of a woman on her period, she did ask to use the bathroom in the cafe but there was none there, then said it was fine. Might explain the behaviour.

Ultimately seems cooked

>>34936865
Don't do cold approach
Don't approach women who haven't shown any sign of interest in you

Was chatting with a girl online for about 1.5 weeks and out of nowhere she just ghosts and deletes all the pics of herself she sent me. I know it's over, but we had planned to meet up in the future.
Getting real tired of this flaky bullshit

>>34936770
I feel you bro, I was chatting with a 48 yo single mom some time ago, talking with her was so good.

>>34937010
The longer it takes for you to meet in person, the higher the chance it isn't going to happen

>>34922423
Pretty much this, a lot of modern women drank the feminist cool aid for 20 + years and are unsalvageable for a male + female relationship. They unironically hate men. They really should become lesbians because they're the only kind of "men" that will ever come close to their utterly insane demands.

I've personally grown tired of the intollerance of alot of woman.
They want men to be normal work a normal job and drive a normal car, while at the same time being rich, drive an exotic car and somehow have unlimited spare time.
They're a walking contradiction and understand little to nothing about reality.

There's so few woman in the west that genuinely aren't man haters its barely worth a mention.

Too bad I'm not attracted to south east Asians
or robots because I'm beyond done with the average "woman" out here.

>>34937017
I realize this. We're from different cities.
Oh well

>>34936751
Only piece of shit in this good thread.