>"The world is cruel and unjust, everything and everyone is out killing or being killed, there is no concern outside for mates and offspring">Leopard Seal tries to feed photographer penguins, despite it having no benefit whatsoeverWhat the fuck
>>4894885That idiot cameraman literally had a leopard seal gf and didn't even care. >When she stopped what she was doing and blew bubbles in my direction, I knew to back off. But giving her space usually drove her crazy, and she moved in closer. She hated to be ignored. I always let her take the lead.>So here, she's on her back. She's sliding down an iceberg in these really sort of sexy ballet-like poses where she's sort of twirling around with the penguin, and then she'd come around like this, and then she'd present it to me like that.>another leopard seal had snuck in behind me, and she did a threat display. She chased it away. It was another big female. She chased it away, and she grabbed its penguin, and brought its penguin back and gave it to me.
>>4894893Anon, you wouldn’t have sex with a Leopard Seal would you?
>>4894885Sea mammals tend to have a bizarre affinity for human beings, as if they can recognize them for a fellow mammal like themselves. Whales, dolphins, seals; as far as they're concerned, people are just shittier versions of themselves. The leopard seal probably thinks the human is a really pathetic and ugly leopard seal that needs help learning how to hunt and eat penguins.
>>4894893its really that easy if youre a seal, god has cursed me with this body
>>4894893That's awesome.
>>4894893>dip into the ocean for 3 minutes>already have TWO seals trying to hit you up
>>4894893>Adam could've married this thing in the garden of eden>wanted the woman anywaysFuck you umpteenth-great-grandpa.
I know the opposite of this is a forbidden topic around here, but I have to ask: do we know which animals want to fuck us without being goaded into doing it? Leopard seals, dolphins, ostriches are all i can really think of off the top of my head.
do leopard seals just come across only leopard seals and penguins so they think anything that isnt a penguin is a leopard seal
>>4894939
>>4894972Hold on...Alright, come again?
>>4894913I wonder why it didn't just maul him to death
>>4894893BHC is crazy
>>4894942That's actually a pretty good possibility. When animals have only a couple predators and prey items, they're basically unsure of what to do around humans and just ignore them as a result. If you pair that with high intelligence, you probably would end up with "woah, that guy is a really ugly version of me, what the fuck."
>>4894939walnut the crane
No, the world is neither fair nor unfair. The idea's just a way for us to understand. So one survives and others die and you always want a reason why but the world is neither just nor unjust. It's just us trying to feel that there's some sense in it. And though going young with much undone is a tragedy to everyone it doesn't speak a plan or any secret thing. There's no unseen sign or untold truth in anything. Them living on in others, in memories and dreams, is just not enough. You want everything. But that's another world where the sun always shines and the birds always sing; where nothing ever dies.>>4894913I've read that cats who bring their owners "presents" (nearly dead mice and shit like that) might think people are just big, very dumb cats and they're trying to teach us to hunt.
>>4895300In the animal kingdom, animals only care about mates, protecting their offspring and if they are social animals, each of their pack. The human was neither her offspring, her mate or even the same species. So why did she try to feed him? If she was a bear or a tiger, she would have just killed him.
>>4895311>The human was neither [...] her mate
>>4894885>look up the vid for this>all the comments saying that she was trying to "help him" and that "she though he was a baby"oh to be naive
>>4895350So what, was she trying to fuck him?
>>4894893
>>4895369I can't believe even here shane frost haunts me.
Must suck being a highly intelligent sea mammal that lives in the middle of Antarctica, meeting a scuba diver and trying to figure out what it was was probably the most mentally stimulating thing that ever happened to that leopard seal in its entire life.
>>4894893I like that he explicitly used the word sexy there.>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmVWGvO8YhkGIWTWM
>>4894939>do we know which animals want to fuck us without being goaded into doing it? Leopard seals, dolphins, ostriches are all i can really think of off the top of my head.Orangutans
>>4895350how so
>>4896041orangutans only like redheads though
>>4894893>Seducing the apex predator as a survival mechanismWhy isn't this more common in the wild?
>>4895300>No, the world is neither fair nor unfair. The idea's just a way for us to understand. So one survives and others die and you always want a reason why but the world is neither just nor unjust. It's just us trying to feel that there's some sense in it. And though going young with much undone is a tragedy to everyone it doesn't speak a plan or any secret thing. There's no unseen sign or untold truth in anything. Them living on in others, in memories and dreams, is just not enough. You want everything. But that's another world where the sun always shines and the birds always sing; where nothing ever dies.The Cure – Where the Birds Always Singhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvjUnqBYeTA
>>4894939Ostriches rape humans?
>>4897274They are at least interested:https://www.youtube.com/shorts/dr9-cdQhRlQ
>>4894893>Now eat your penguin, honey. I spent all day preparing it, you're not going to dissapoint me, aren't you?
>>4896561It's more energy efficient to run away better than to develop a brain that can confound create behaviors which confound predators into trying to understand you. We needed the brain to better organize our troops and throw rocks at smaller animals before we discovered we could also cuddle wolves, bears, hyenas, leopard seals and sharks.
>>4897314is he still alive?
>>4894885And how do you think the penguin felt about all this?
>you must eat all the penguins
>>4897790Yes, just using her mouth as a toilet.
>>4897793like a snack
>>4896041But people told me orangutans were heckin wholesome chungerinos
>>4894939horses and certain breeds of dogs as well.
>>4896561the success rate of a mouse seducing a cat is lower than a mouse running away.
>>4894939Housecats. Its why they raise their tails when you pet them. Its an intensely erotic experience for them because of all the body whiskers. This is such a fact of life people dont even think when females in heat beg for the qtip. Its basically their biology. They can’t help it. Now never pet a cat again.
>>4899260>(soulja boy tell 'em)
>>4894939https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqlqTTqUDt8
>>4894939Consider: Wolves form lasting pair bonds with other wolves and other wolves only, but dogs do not do this with other dogs consistently. Instead they form pair bonds with humans and mate prolifically with other dogs, in stark contrast to wolves fear of strangers and monogamy.The emotional bonding/attraction and raw sexual impulses are actually separate instincts that can be applied separately, and just because an animal likes you doesn't mean they want to fuck you.
>>4899638they only don't want to fuck you if you neuter them
>>4899704They dont want to fuck you period. We already went over this in germany and the netherlands.
>>4894939>do we know which animals want to fuck us without being goaded into doing it?Me.*unzips penis*
>>4897793>Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?
>>4895300>I've read that cats who bring their owners "presents" (nearly dead mice and shit like that) might think people are just big, very dumb cats and they're trying to teach us to hunt.That's obviously wrong if you think about it for even two seconds, but I can definitely see the kind of people who get their entire picture of reality from captioned Facebook images eating that up. There is no way you can construe leaving a dead animal lying around where another alive-animal will happen to notice it at some point as teaching the latter hunting skills. We call that "giving food" in literally ever other context we see it occurring in anywhere in nature. The suggestion that there must be some hidden layer of meaning to the exact same behavior when cats do it to humans is just staggeringly retarded and not something anyone has a good reason to believe.
>>4899906You seem like a very unpleasant person to be around.
>>4894885My first kiss with a girl was from a seal.It was a mild autumn day at the Pet Porpoise Pool up at old Coffs Harbour, and an unsullied teenage me had just been volunteered to go and be led in a waltz by all 200 pounds of her...
>>4896041Oh no. I'd expect this from any other ape besides orangos.
>>4899906You seem like a fairly pleasant individual to be around.
>>4899906I like you
>>4896041>Hey, it's dangerous to send women into bumfuck nowhere to study intelligent animals with the strength of multiple men that legitimately want to rape them>THAT'S SEXIST!!!
>>4899906Mother cats bring living animals to their young to teach them rudimentary hunting skill and how to kill though.
>>4896041>>4894885Orangutans and elephant seals have something in common
>>4896041>>4894939I wonder if elephants would try to rape us if we were a little bit larger
>>4902006we would do the same to them, so i imagine they would
>>4902006that elephant needs to lube up
>>4894885>>4895384>>4897314Built for BHC (Big Human Cock)
>>4897314>When you wake up after getting blackout drunk, on a strange shoal>eerie rustling noises around the nearby rock>you notice you are naked, only covered in some seaweed>seal chan comes around the corner, and looks you straight in the eye>it says "you don't have to tell me what happened, but you have to eat ALL those penguins">hands you a bowl of penguins with a wooden spoonThere is no way on earth you can eat all those penguins
>>4894885>despite it having no benefit whatsoeverthe photographer is clearly starving
>>4899241horses?
>>4894939Goats. I once saw a goat push over and mount a girl who entered his pen.
>>4894939>>4904752There's an alpaca video that is absolutely amazing.
>>4899627Now post the one with the guy blowing the buck.
>>4904814if you know how to filename search on desu it's still in the archive
>>4894893please remove yourself from life
>>4905083him or the camera man?or yourself?
>>4904728yeah
>>4894928Kek
>>4901265I swear every time I hear a man use the word freedom is means freedom from your fellow man, free from force. Any time I hear women talk about freedom, it's always freedom from actual physical consequences of your actions (i.e. setting yourself on fire and not burning to death).
>>4896041Julia Roberts was almost raped by an orangutan??
>>4905838>breaking news: women are mentally children, more at 10pm
>>4904820sauce me bro
>>4905866>Julia Roberts was almost raped by an orangutan??Yes, I thought this was well-known?
>>4905866Scroll down:https://www.academia.edu/14945925/Orangutan_An_Endangered_Primate
>>4901265maybe the women enjoy it, bigot
>>4898389No ape is wholesome. I honestly never want to be close to one.
>>4902006now the question i have here is: how many animals achieve successful penetrative rape? like actual dick in vagina/asshole, not just humping for domination. probably not that many since there's size differences but i imagine the elephant here could get the rhino's asshole/pussy if determined enough.
>>4905838>everytime I see something that vaguely conforms to my view I remember it, everytime it contradicts it I forget about it or twist it to something that conforms italso t
>>4909400Yup. It's why /adv/ and /r9k/ are just an endless stream of "why do all women [negative cherrypicked example]?"
