>"The world is cruel and unjust, everything and everyone is out killing or being killed, there is no concern outside for mates and offspring">Leopard Seal tries to feed photographer penguins, despite it having no benefit whatsoeverWhat the fuck
>>4894885That idiot cameraman literally had a leopard seal gf and didn't even care. >When she stopped what she was doing and blew bubbles in my direction, I knew to back off. But giving her space usually drove her crazy, and she moved in closer. She hated to be ignored. I always let her take the lead.>So here, she's on her back. She's sliding down an iceberg in these really sort of sexy ballet-like poses where she's sort of twirling around with the penguin, and then she'd come around like this, and then she'd present it to me like that.>another leopard seal had snuck in behind me, and she did a threat display. She chased it away. It was another big female. She chased it away, and she grabbed its penguin, and brought its penguin back and gave it to me.
>>4894893Anon, you wouldn’t have sex with a Leopard Seal would you?
>>4894885Sea mammals tend to have a bizarre affinity for human beings, as if they can recognize them for a fellow mammal like themselves. Whales, dolphins, seals; as far as they're concerned, people are just shittier versions of themselves. The leopard seal probably thinks the human is a really pathetic and ugly leopard seal that needs help learning how to hunt and eat penguins.
>>4894893its really that easy if youre a seal, god has cursed me with this body
>>4894893That's awesome.
>>4894893>dip into the ocean for 3 minutes>already have TWO seals trying to hit you up
>>4894893>Adam could've married this thing in the garden of eden>wanted the woman anywaysFuck you umpteenth-great-grandpa.
I know the opposite of this is a forbidden topic around here, but I have to ask: do we know which animals want to fuck us without being goaded into doing it? Leopard seals, dolphins, ostriches are all i can really think of off the top of my head.
do leopard seals just come across only leopard seals and penguins so they think anything that isnt a penguin is a leopard seal
>>4894939
>>4894972Hold on...Alright, come again?
>>4894913I wonder why it didn't just maul him to death
>>4894893BHC is crazy
>>4894942That's actually a pretty good possibility. When animals have only a couple predators and prey items, they're basically unsure of what to do around humans and just ignore them as a result. If you pair that with high intelligence, you probably would end up with "woah, that guy is a really ugly version of me, what the fuck."
>>4894939walnut the crane
No, the world is neither fair nor unfair. The idea's just a way for us to understand. So one survives and others die and you always want a reason why but the world is neither just nor unjust. It's just us trying to feel that there's some sense in it. And though going young with much undone is a tragedy to everyone it doesn't speak a plan or any secret thing. There's no unseen sign or untold truth in anything. Them living on in others, in memories and dreams, is just not enough. You want everything. But that's another world where the sun always shines and the birds always sing; where nothing ever dies.>>4894913I've read that cats who bring their owners "presents" (nearly dead mice and shit like that) might think people are just big, very dumb cats and they're trying to teach us to hunt.
>>4895300In the animal kingdom, animals only care about mates, protecting their offspring and if they are social animals, each of their pack. The human was neither her offspring, her mate or even the same species. So why did she try to feed him? If she was a bear or a tiger, she would have just killed him.
>>4895311>The human was neither [...] her mate
>>4894885>look up the vid for this>all the comments saying that she was trying to "help him" and that "she though he was a baby"oh to be naive
>>4895350So what, was she trying to fuck him?
>>4894893
>>4895369I can't believe even here shane frost haunts me.
Must suck being a highly intelligent sea mammal that lives in the middle of Antarctica, meeting a scuba diver and trying to figure out what it was was probably the most mentally stimulating thing that ever happened to that leopard seal in its entire life.
>>4894893I like that he explicitly used the word sexy there.>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmVWGvO8YhkGIWTWM
>>4894939>do we know which animals want to fuck us without being goaded into doing it? Leopard seals, dolphins, ostriches are all i can really think of off the top of my head.Orangutans
>>4895350how so
>>4896041orangutans only like redheads though
>>4894893>Seducing the apex predator as a survival mechanismWhy isn't this more common in the wild?
>>4895300>No, the world is neither fair nor unfair. The idea's just a way for us to understand. So one survives and others die and you always want a reason why but the world is neither just nor unjust. It's just us trying to feel that there's some sense in it. And though going young with much undone is a tragedy to everyone it doesn't speak a plan or any secret thing. There's no unseen sign or untold truth in anything. Them living on in others, in memories and dreams, is just not enough. You want everything. But that's another world where the sun always shines and the birds always sing; where nothing ever dies.The Cure – Where the Birds Always Singhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvjUnqBYeTA
>>4894939Ostriches rape humans?
>>4897274They are at least interested:https://www.youtube.com/shorts/dr9-cdQhRlQ
>>4894893>Now eat your penguin, honey. I spent all day preparing it, you're not going to dissapoint me, aren't you?
>>4896561It's more energy efficient to run away better than to develop a brain that can confound create behaviors which confound predators into trying to understand you. We needed the brain to better organize our troops and throw rocks at smaller animals before we discovered we could also cuddle wolves, bears, hyenas, leopard seals and sharks.
>>4897314is he still alive?
>>4894885And how do you think the penguin felt about all this?
>you must eat all the penguins
>>4897790Yes, just using her mouth as a toilet.
>>4897793like a snack
>>4896041But people told me orangutans were heckin wholesome chungerinos
>>4894939horses and certain breeds of dogs as well.
>>4896561the success rate of a mouse seducing a cat is lower than a mouse running away.
>>4894939Housecats. Its why they raise their tails when you pet them. Its an intensely erotic experience for them because of all the body whiskers. This is such a fact of life people dont even think when females in heat beg for the qtip. Its basically their biology. They can’t help it. Now never pet a cat again.
>>4899260>(soulja boy tell 'em)
>>4894939https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqlqTTqUDt8
>>4894939Consider: Wolves form lasting pair bonds with other wolves and other wolves only, but dogs do not do this with other dogs consistently. Instead they form pair bonds with humans and mate prolifically with other dogs, in stark contrast to wolves fear of strangers and monogamy.The emotional bonding/attraction and raw sexual impulses are actually separate instincts that can be applied separately, and just because an animal likes you doesn't mean they want to fuck you.
>>4899638they only don't want to fuck you if you neuter them
>>4899704They dont want to fuck you period. We already went over this in germany and the netherlands.
>>4894939>do we know which animals want to fuck us without being goaded into doing it?Me.*unzips penis*
>>4897793>Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?
>>4895300>I've read that cats who bring their owners "presents" (nearly dead mice and shit like that) might think people are just big, very dumb cats and they're trying to teach us to hunt.That's obviously wrong if you think about it for even two seconds, but I can definitely see the kind of people who get their entire picture of reality from captioned Facebook images eating that up. There is no way you can construe leaving a dead animal lying around where another alive-animal will happen to notice it at some point as teaching the latter hunting skills. We call that "giving food" in literally ever other context we see it occurring in anywhere in nature. The suggestion that there must be some hidden layer of meaning to the exact same behavior when cats do it to humans is just staggeringly retarded and not something anyone has a good reason to believe.
>>4899906You seem like a very unpleasant person to be around.
>>4894885My first kiss with a girl was from a seal.It was a mild autumn day at the Pet Porpoise Pool up at old Coffs Harbour, and an unsullied teenage me had just been volunteered to go and be led in a waltz by all 200 pounds of her...
>>4896041Oh no. I'd expect this from any other ape besides orangos.
>>4899906You seem like a fairly pleasant individual to be around.
>>4899906I like you
>>4896041>Hey, it's dangerous to send women into bumfuck nowhere to study intelligent animals with the strength of multiple men that legitimately want to rape them>THAT'S SEXIST!!!
>>4899906Mother cats bring living animals to their young to teach them rudimentary hunting skill and how to kill though.
>>4896041>>4894885Orangutans and elephant seals have something in common
>>4896041>>4894939I wonder if elephants would try to rape us if we were a little bit larger
>>4902006we would do the same to them, so i imagine they would
>>4902006that elephant needs to lube up
>>4894885>>4895384>>4897314Built for BHC (Big Human Cock)
>>4897314>When you wake up after getting blackout drunk, on a strange shoal>eerie rustling noises around the nearby rock>you notice you are naked, only covered in some seaweed>seal chan comes around the corner, and looks you straight in the eye>it says "you don't have to tell me what happened, but you have to eat ALL those penguins">hands you a bowl of penguins with a wooden spoonThere is no way on earth you can eat all those penguins
>>4894885>despite it having no benefit whatsoeverthe photographer is clearly starving
>>4899241horses?
>>4894939Goats. I once saw a goat push over and mount a girl who entered his pen.
>>4894939>>4904752There's an alpaca video that is absolutely amazing.
>>4899627Now post the one with the guy blowing the buck.
>>4904814if you know how to filename search on desu it's still in the archive
>>4894893please remove yourself from life
>>4905083him or the camera man?or yourself?
>>4904728yeah
>>4894928Kek
>>4901265I swear every time I hear a man use the word freedom is means freedom from your fellow man, free from force. Any time I hear women talk about freedom, it's always freedom from actual physical consequences of your actions (i.e. setting yourself on fire and not burning to death).
>>4896041Julia Roberts was almost raped by an orangutan??
>>4905838>breaking news: women are mentally children, more at 10pm
>>4904820sauce me bro
>>4905866>Julia Roberts was almost raped by an orangutan??Yes, I thought this was well-known?
>>4905866Scroll down:https://www.academia.edu/14945925/Orangutan_An_Endangered_Primate
>>4901265maybe the women enjoy it, bigot
>>4898389No ape is wholesome. I honestly never want to be close to one.
>>4902006now the question i have here is: how many animals achieve successful penetrative rape? like actual dick in vagina/asshole, not just humping for domination. probably not that many since there's size differences but i imagine the elephant here could get the rhino's asshole/pussy if determined enough.
>>4905838>everytime I see something that vaguely conforms to my view I remember it, everytime it contradicts it I forget about it or twist it to something that conforms italso t
>>4909400Yup. It's why /adv/ and /r9k/ are just an endless stream of "why do all women [negative cherrypicked example]?"
>>4909187True, I don't even like being near most humans
>>4894885>"The world is cruel and unjust, everything and everyone is out killing or being killed, there is no concern outside for mates and offspring"Sounds like something an edgy teenager would say... or Nietzsche.Mammals and birds can obviously be altruistic.
leopard seal :3
>>4904658Hot
>>4894939>>4895295
>>4903356
>>4911690This image makes me want to shoot whoever made it then myself.
>>4911680Birdgirl on the right is cute
>>4913031birdgirl on the left is cuter
>>4894893please preserve yourself based chad
>>4894893If humans could breed with seals would they?
>>4913197I'm trying
>>4913197where do you think mermaids came from buddy
>>4913203Pics or you're fake and gay.
>>4895300>two legged being has control of seemingly endless supplies of food>brings in food in large quantities"hmm lol this retard can't hunt, it is I who must feed him!"
>>4913207Manatees
>>4894885>>4894893>>4894913I just realized... do sea mammals find us "cute"?Like, think of the type of behavior you'd exhibit towards something that's cute. Isn't that how dolphins and leopard seals act towards us?
>>4915530First you have to isolate if they have a concept of cute, or an analogue.Then you have to figure out how they act towards something they deem "cute".I can't wait for your paper on Underwater Mammals and Cuteness.
>>4915530>tfw sea mammals feed us like we feed squirrelsfeels good bros
>>4915530Dolphins are sexually attracted to human females
>>4916651Dolphins are sexually attracted to humans
>>4894885>>4915530>>4916668>>4913207>4913207AQUATIC APEShttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquatic_ape_hypothesis>Independently of Westenhöfer's writings, the marine biologist Alister Hardy had since 1930 also hypothesized that humans may have had ancestors more aquatic than previously imagined, although his work, unlike Westenhöfer's, was rooted in the Darwinian consensus. On the advice of his colleagues, Hardy delayed presenting the hypothesis for approximately thirty years.[13][14] After he had become a respected academic and knighted for contributions to marine biology, Hardy finally voiced his thoughts in a speech to the British Sub-Aqua Club in Brighton on 5 March 1960. Several national newspapers reported sensational presentations of Hardy's ideas, which he countered by explaining them more fully in an article in New Scientist on 17 March 1960: "My thesis is that a branch of this primitive ape-stock was forced by competition from life in the trees to feed on the sea-shores and to hunt for food, shellfish, sea-urchins etc., in the shallow waters off the coast."[14]
>>4916668Dolphins are sexually attractive to humans
>>4917865>pseudoscience peddles by fat acceptance retards wanting to RETVRN to whale
>>4917933>fat acceptance retardsthose don't exist anymore now that you can inject the fat awayTurns out they really were just a bunch of fat lazy fucks after all.
>>4915530are you cute anon?
nature is cool
>>4911680hot
>>4894885>Haha ... we should ... breed>What IF, leopard ... humans would exist ... doe?Guys, is it gay to say no?
>>4899906You really ought to work on your reading comprehension skills. You'll never graduate highschool with a respectable grade otherwise, kiddo.
>>4911680I really like the story of those two.The bird lived a long, long time too.
>>4921230Do you think he the crane?
>>4921287That was the point.
>>4921230How do they prevent these birds to fly away?
>>4921502You mean how they prevent the birds from flying away?Nets I guess.
>>4921300lucky bastard
>>4894885>>4894893>>4897314
>>4921230cute bird
>>4922786Lived to be a granny too.Her and her "mate" did great work for the species recovery efforts.
>>4921230Look at the way her eyes glow!
>>4921230>artificially inseminatedYeah right
>>4894885I love leopard seal threads.
>get 30day for joking I fuck my dog>this thread still up
>>4915530theres a running theory that most mammals find humans cute because we dont change much from our childhood state, in other words we dont experience the same age dimorphism that most animals do so they have a hard time distinguishing young humans from grown up humans. Dogs obviously understand the concept of infants but they have a hard time telling the difference between a healthy old fuck and a 12 year old. Whales are one of the few mammals we can observe benevolence from that dont have any species friendly towards humans. they would view us (adult humans) as cute the same way we would view a small lamb as cute.
>>4917865so we wuz Deep ones n'shiet?
>>4921230I bet he made her clo-ache-a!
>>4924771>we dont change much from our childhood state, in other words we dont experience the same age dimorphismHuh? Humans seem to go through more changes in physical appearance as they age than most animals do
>>4927854most animals are insects
>>4924771that's the first I've heard of it. Are you sure you aren't confusing it for the claim that elephants find us cute?
>>4895384We should go over there and bring them back to our lands to domesticate them
>>4894980I said this in the seal thread, Leopard Seals are ultra K-type species, so if they mistake you for some kind of seal they will try to help you out and befriend you.Of the following things, which does a human the most, and the least resemble?1: A Penguin2: An Orca3: A Fish4: Water5: A SealThese five things make up 100% of the average Leopard Seal's experience with the world, and obviously of these things, the human most resembles a seal in size, shape, and possibly smell. So leopard seals tend to think humans are just young or retarded seals. They have turned violent before when they realize that this is not the case, but it hasn't happened often, possibly only once that was recorded.
>>4896561dogs and cats basically did this. I mean not as in sexual seduction but as in cozying up and being friendly. It only took one little family unit to not kill the wolf that walked up to them and let itself be pet in order to get food; they had a friggin wolf now, that's enough to make the practice happen thousands of times over.
>>4902006elephants think we're cute so probably
>>4899729>*unzips penis*thats not how penises work
This board has issues
>>4911680>after killing the two males she was paired with Why did she do it
>>4930116She didn't. The zookeepers didn't let her nonchalantly kill 2 specimens of an endangered species.
>>4929599she's a hyena
Leopard seals look so cool.>>4929599Old but gold.
>>4921230>Then he starts rubbing her thighs, rhythmically, almost pornographically. Thirty seconds elapse — it feels much longer — before Walnut steps away from Crowe, fixes a few out-of-place feathers, and then stretches out her wings, asking for another go-round.>In past years, Crowe would have taken this opportunity to inject Walnut with a syringe of crane semen. Alas, the Smithsonian has decreed that they don’t need any more babies from Walnut.>But that doesn’t stop Crowe and Walnut from going through the motions all summer long, five days a week, sometimes several times a day. “It’s not exactly fun for me, but it keeps Walnut happy,” Crowe says.H-holy shit. Also>last name of crane's human mate is "Crowe"Man you can't make this shit up.
>>4894913You know how easy it is to see dogs as really dumb people with clear facial expressions and familiar behaviors?Just the fact that we look around at our surroundings without twitching like a bird and are more spinny and floaty in water is probably a "woah, LIKE US" moment for sea mammals
>>4911680>tfw no yandere crane wifeI don't care what all those old Chinese legends tell you about the inevitable tragedy of these kinds of pairings I (s)need this so bad like you wouldn't believe my dudes.
>>4930660Dude. Just don't watch her change man.She asked you not to bro.
>>4905159how can men even compete
>>4930580IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME
>>4924771Yeah I bet most animals couldn't distinguish this guy from a 12 year old boy
>>4929593>These five things make up 100% of the average Leopard Seal's experience with the worldleopard seals also encounter rocks, seaweed, and bubbles
>>4896041LOL
UhhhhMeds much?
>>4897314get vored idiot
>>4909437You being a faggot is why this board is dead.Pic related.
>>4934953>I hate women so much that i refuse to talk to them!>No YOU'RE gay!
>>4934953You lunatics should just go back to /pol/ and circlejerk in your single mom / abortion threads
>>4895311>In the animal kingdom, animals only care about mates or offspringYou dumb piece of shit. Animals form bonds with animals not of the same species all the time
>>4894893>sexy ballet-like poses>tmw desperate incel human tries to project his attraction to a seal onto the seal
>>4934953this isn't your safespace incel and it never will be.
