And weed? Weed actually helps me focus on my hobbies and just makes me feel better it's got nothing to do with causing psychosis in me

And since I live so far out there's no laser hair removal places within like 200km so that's basically impossible and the laser hair removal device I bought I'm scared to use it cuz the thing said "not for male facial hair" ugh

I just smoked only 3 small tokes off a joint of Grandaddy Purple Indica Strain, and I'm soooooo fucking stoned, it's ridiculous. absolutely perfect.

>>943156969
I'm jealous cuz I can't find my weed anywhere and idk if the darkweb market listing I ordered from was even legit

Venting here is one of the few things that help alongside with cannabis because things are honestly just kinda fucking meh for me

Though I'm grateful to be home i guess

I hate this time zone difference

I hate how badly weed is demonized because all it's ever done is help me
Help me focus on things and actually do stuff and keep me calm and stuff

It doesn't take a genius to realize

And I fucking hate these face hairs so much fuck

They even grow on my neck too I can't fucking stand it and plucking them with tweezers always takes forever

>>943156869
I'm not like you, but I too would be happier if I could control the growth of hair, keeping it only above the neck.
That said, my hairs have helped prevent me from getting cut and burned by warning me of danger before it harmed my skin, but still, it'd be nice to be smooth on demand.

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>>943157627
Yeah I getchu

Also; one magic item found

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Damn it's empty
At least I found it tho

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Magic handcuffs

How much has hrt shrunk your dong?

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>>943157886
Idk if it's just gotten smaller over time regardless but I guess it's gotten like an inch or 2 down from what it used to be I think penises just change a lot depending on how you use em

Also magic collar

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Well the weed is definitely not in my getaway bdsm bag

>>943157922
Almost everyone I’ve talked to say it shrunk. Kinda cool I guess.

What’s magic about it? What happens If someone places it on you

>>943158050
>What’s magic about it
I dunno it just is
>What happens If someone places it on you
I turn gay or something

>>943158063
Hmmm I’d like to try to place it on you. Let’s see you in it

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Not in there either

>>943158091
Sry your roll failed I'm continuing without it I'm too preoccupied rn

>>943158105
What are you looking for? I think the magic thigh highs are in the opposite corner

Why do you live in such filth? Do you live alone? Not to be an asshole but living in a better environment can help a lot with your mental health.

>>943158164
My room is just super small that's all
>>943158162
Lol

And idk I'm just not afraid of being a bit dirty it's good for the immune system

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And it's not too bad when you see it in perspective and that things are where they are cuz they are there for a reason sort of

>>943158195
Lol but that's like hoarder tier, not a bit dirty. Even if its small, get a couple of containers, stash shit in those, put them in a corner. No need to have everything like that.

Also, if you eventually decide to post hot pics, can it be soon? I have to go in a while. Thanks!

>>943158230
Idk I'm not in that mode rn
And yeah I get what you mean but like I said it's my room and it's basically just so that there's not enough room to even sort things out but I'd not move rooms in any case unless I'm moving across an ocean for a bit of a newer start but I'm really attached to this place

So for now

I live in dirt (like that the cure song)

And even elsewhere I'd still probably do it anyway cuz

What’s the last time you had any action?

>>943158299
Action for me constitutes going into lewd mode and taking nudes and maybe posting them on this site

Other than that I've never even kissed anyone other than those forced kisses in like first grade from my friend who was obviously trying to recreate stuff with me because much later on I realized she was being molested

>>943158332
Dang homie, didn’t expect an answer like that. What do you usually do for fun? Any games or something

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>>943158348
Yeah i flip between overwatch and wow right now. I'm also a moonie in ff14 but I'm taking a break from it
I'm also a moonie irl

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I also play stuff on my guitar I even bought fl studio too (have a lot of experience prior)

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Have this big ass midi keyboard too which is a lot of fun

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I also know programming too I like C a lot

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I also like making stuff in blender too
But I really only kinda get into proper creating and gaming stuff when I smoke weed that's just the way it is
I was basically made to be proper with weed I'm sorry but that's just how it is

Nice, I wish I could have hobbies like that. I just end up go to the bar after work. During my days off I sleep all day. I’m currently doing good but my mental health has taken a dive.

>>943158512
Well you can always start
Buy a tokai stratocaster they're pretty good and find your scale (chords are a meme)

I also draw sometimes but my drawings are super fucking weird and disturbed

I understand that most people don't accept how I am but I kinda am fine the way I am I don't wanna change things
I also just like weed a lot. It just helps me be and do things

>>943158553
Let me see them.

I’ve tried but lose interest. I’ve bought books, an acoustic guitar to learn but I don’t have time or rather just do something else. For some reason I need to do things with someone else to stick to it. I have ADHD

>>943158572
Weed isn’t too bad but idk shit I’m not a doctor lol. But ngl I’m glad I don’t need weed to function

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>>943158588
As you can see it's pretty schizophrenic and disturbed. Drew it like about 2 years ago
I've gotten better at drawing since but the content material kinda got even worse so to speak

>>943158665
Doesn’t look bad just some gooner type stuff. Show a recent one to compare it

>>943158757
If you really wanna know look up "that was a weird dns outage" on /vg/ archives

That said I don't really actively draw almost ever but once every blue moon I go into some weird state where I just start drawing something
Only happened once earlier this year

>>943158778
>>943158804
I’ll look for it. Do you have any weird talents?

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then occasionally it just goes into this kinda stuff
also done under effects of weed

>>943158860
So where I work I also have a guy that gives me papers and I mean stacks of papers with formulas. Almost like this too

Apparently the archive doesn’t have a VG search

sorry for being weird and disturbed i guess

man i just wanna find that weed vaporizer and my weed jar it's so lost and out there somewhere
at least i got this kinda side quest going on
like when i smoke weed everything feels like a real quest it's fun it motivates me to do everything
it's like the exact opposite of olanzapine which makes me just, drowsy and sleepy and has tons of other side effects

>>943158940
You’re not though, you seem chill maybe chiller when you put on that cage lol

>>943158962
Hope you find your weed stuff

>>943158999
>>943158988
Now I get trips and dubs smh

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>>943159014
Nice checked
>>943158999
Yeah I have absolutely zero clue where it could have went

Also magic unopened pink chain leash found

Personally I envision someone walking me on a leash having a black handle but cute is cute

Maybe I can walk myself on a leash

>>943159049
>>943159042
Are you shy IRL? You could definitely find someone to walk you on your leash

>>943159154
Yeah I got problems with eye contact which isn't helped by the fact that I have a lazy eye and it's basically blind

But my modes keep flipping sometimes I do things with the greatest ease and I'm hyperfocused

Sometimes it's gotten me into trouble

>>943159165
Same, but I look away cause it feels like I’m staring. Awww well you probably look cute in glasses. And that mode happens when you’re high right? I love’s I get hyper focused on something like cleaning the apartment

Basically to be fully direct now I'm sure I have some kinda dissociative disorder that doctors in finland keep misdiagnosing as psychosis and keep forcing me antipsychotics which do nothing to help and actually just kinda make things worse.
>>943159224
I wear contacts in one eye cuz the doctors are kinda directly responsible for my other eye.

And yeah weed helps me get into actual doing stuff mode

Everything I have relates to some kind of trauma and doctors here they don't understand any of it and just misdiagnose psychotic disorders

It often feels like my whole existence is nothing but trauma I'm just nothing but trauma and disorder

And weirdly enough I'm fine with it I am who I am

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oh man…
>we got a live one
(for now)

But fuck I really do love weed it actually makes me alive

I'm sure out there in the real non-Finland world doctors are much wiser and smarter and actually understand all this stuff

Weird how the bot activated just now when I got into this venting trauma mode
What's up with that

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soon my pet…

>>943159243
>>943159266
>>943159288
Hmmm I wonder if the brain just excepts what’s in front of it. I used to be happy being by myself and my living situation is better now but not mentally.

>>943159320
It might be because the trap thread is dead so they gotta spam somewhere

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man stinking troonie

>>943159361
Yeah idk what it is but it's obvious things aren't alright where I am.
This canada thing that I had/(have?) was/(is) caused by some real issues and problems I have here.
It went way too far I'm sorry but the problems persist.

In Canada I would be properly allowed my weed and there'd be people I could actually be with and just more opportunities to be myself than stuck here in fucking middle of nowhere kuhmo Finland with no fucking opportunities for fucking anything

Everyone can fucking see this

Fuck here I go again

Doctors in finland have been shitty to me

You will never be a woman, you are exploited by the pharmaceutical industry.

Fuck I wish people would understand because the doctors here for sure don't understand shit

I don't like this mode

And I'm never gonna fucking find that weed

Weed actually helps me self-regulate

>>943159429
Idgaf being a "woman" I just have dysphoria and hrt helps get rid of that

Speaking of which hrt care in finland also sucks donkey balls

Everything in finland just kind of fucking sucks for me

Do I have to walk a mile to go buy Asahi and drink that shit again

Wouldn't mind doing so honestly fuck this

Canada is fucking dreamland for me fuck always has been it's basically cringe at this point how opposite everything would be for me

>>943159412
>>943159433
>>943159470
Life never works out for most people.
Hope you find that weed. I unfortunately gotta go to sleep since I work in a couple hours lol. Also what’s Asahi

>>943159485
You don't have dysphoria and HRT does not help. HRT does nothing aside from wrecking your body. You should be socializing more instead and find social hobbies.

>>943159568
I just googled it and it looks pretty good

Whatever guess I'll just smoke rolled ciggies for now I guess that helps

I guess it's a sorta cozy sidequest having that weed somewhere but I don't even know if it's in my room if I stuffed it in that backpack and it rolled out on the floor somewhere in this hoarder house
>>943159568
Asahi is a Japanese beer the can looks really good

Also I found out something disturbing
I was in voice chat with my new wow guild the other day (never really hung out in voice chats until now)
And even I could notice that I actually pronounced "out" in a very Canadian way
It's weird

>>943159583
Hopefully it didn’t get jacked. Last question lol when you get high is when you start posting your lewd stuff right

Have you seen trailer park boys?

>>943159640
It doesn't necessarily work like that

>>943159640
Here we have the random internet retard trying to exploit you OP. These are not your friends. You need to make real friends in the real world. You need to socialize. You need to stop taking HRT and other made up bullshit. You need to stop believing that you have dysphoria, which is made up by psychiatrists to sell drugs. You can do this. Your life will be so much better. Also, you're attracted to men, which makes you a homosexual.

>>943159656
I've been meaning to watch for a while now but never gotten around to it
But I feel that show in my soul I'm basically living it myself

>>943159671
no u

>>943159675
You should

Fuckkk I really enjoyed Microsoft flight simulator but I'm too scared to even open that up now because of what I did

>>943159702
Yeah I'd probably be on it tonight if i had weed at hand lol

It's fucking ridiculous that it's actually legal in canada

>>943159705
Did you crash into a certain pair of towers in NYC?

>>943159671
Nobody asked faggot

>>943159740
No but I don't even wanna talk about it it's actually serious this shit
Idk if I'm still in trouble too

>>943159763
lol it’s all good I’m heading out have a good night Kat

>>943159671
Here we have the random internet retard trying to "fix' you OP. These are not your friends, get on discord be a slave for pics

>>943159778
It's like 2pm here but enjoy cya

as much as i'd want to go to canada i'm just so attached to this small town here and my home here

i just dont know what to do and i'm definitely not allowed in canada after all i did

i really messed things up

>>943159921
fix your relationship with your parents

>>943160063
My relationship is fine

>>943160072
are your parents supporting this bullshit with HRT and dysphoria? how did it all start, did your mom take you to the nurse because you were acting stupid and nurse decided you should become a pharma victim?

>>943160100
What's your problem? Are you a bot?

>>943160110
My problem is that I am trying to help you.

>>943160121
That's what the doctors in finland always keep telling me

Yeah, I am a bit of a pharma victim in finland

And when it comes to hrt it's incredibly fucking difficult to get that shit in finland and it's been made really difficult and horribly bureaucratic

>>943160146
HRT is fucking bullshit. It's not helping anything. How is it helping? Can you explain what the science behind it is? It's literally placebo for your imaginary dysphoria problem with bad effects for you. You may be depressed or have other issues, but you don't have "dysphoria" because it's not a real thing. HRT is only hurting you. You are a homosexual most likely, is that what bothers you?

Sup Kat
Rough night you're having, hope you manage to fall asleep and wake up to a better day tomorrow

>>943160167
Body hair makes me feel really bad
Hrt stops it from growing
Feel much better
Simple as that for example
Prevents me from turning manly which also horrifies me

Simple isn't it?

>>943160184
It's 2pm in finland
I really fucking loathe this time zone shit

I'm never gonna find that vape and my weed
Sucks

>>943160188
>Body hair makes me feel really bad
Man the fuck up. You have ingrown body hair under your skin, what are you going to do about it? Are you really going to let your own fears and dissatisfactions take over of your own agency?
>Prevents me from turning manly which also horrifies me
Yeah, that's your fucking fear. Confront and beat your fear instead of running away from it.

>>943160326
There's no point in arguing with you lmao
And even so this isn't even a matter of debate

I am who I am and that's not up for debate or anything else like that

>>943157756
Cut your nails

>>943160375
You are a victim of the pharma industry. Would you accept "I am who I am" from a homeless drug addict? Wouldn't you rather tell him that he is a victim of the drug cartels and that he needs to change course and make better choices? Wouldn't you want to help that person if you could? Not every homeless drug addict can be helped, but some could. I'm trying to help you. "I am who I am" is a meaningless platitude. Nobody knows who they are, or what that even means, but you can't deny reality. You are a man. You should confront your fears. You should overcome them. It will lead to a much more fulfilling life. You will free yourself from the chains that pharma put on you.

Part of me feels like I'm stuck I'm some kinda arg matrix and finland isn't even a real place

>>943160197
Oh
Then just take a nap

>>943160451
Not in that kinda mood
Im just stuck in this searching for weed mode

Can't even focus on playing wow this sucks
When I smoked the scraps I found yesterday it was just fun looking at my mall troll frost mage and actually getting immersed

retards smoke some weed and then they think they're women smh

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It's in a jar like this
Where exactly could I have putten it???
And the vape too
I recall I already lost it somewhere before I ended up in the psych ward

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oh well
have some DSLR photos i took on my walk back from oulu to kuhmo where i developed the human trafficking fears that ended up in that psychosis where i ended up in the psych ward
i like this one, the umbrella man (im sorry for photographing others but this just looks good)

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fallen leafs in the yard of peltola hospital, which i hear is cursed.
there was that shipping container right in front of my window and it really got me in a bad mood

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beautiful path despite all

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see those shipping container graffitis?
walking past that was like "confirmation" of all the stuff i feared during my first stay in the oulu ward when i looked outside the window and saw those vans and trucks stopping by constantly by that shipping container opposite the yard by the other building

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oulu.

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cool graffitis though
i've always kinda wanted to do it myself

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in my mind i felt kinda like the "opposite" of a crime scene photographer if you kinda know what i mean?

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it was honestly the best ride home ever. it just felt in a way thats indescribable. i dont know how to explain any of it. but i was wearing my ancient shoes with no socks underneath in that rainy gloomy weather and i only had my pajama pants on

and i had no contact lenses either or glasses or anything so i was kinda blind the whole time too

>>943156869
i think I met someone irl from here once. I definitely met his brother in hs at the hs the next town over. Then he was on here taking pictures of himself smoking a cigarette like a fucking faggot saying he had bpd and stuff. I told him to fucking die just bc I hated the way he was taking pictures. I ended up working at domino's with him. He raped a little girl. He's a real shitbag. His whole family is. This whole town pretty much hates his whole family. He's just a super cringey attention whore, his name is Charles, he's short and swarmy. I met him by rooming with a coworker and he was already a roommate there. I remember the first time seeing him thinking this dude is hella fucking off in just a way. Like he turned his head like the Thing when he looked at me. I didn't really trust my gut bc he had a bad job so he was acting sad so I got him a job at my job so he got me kicked out of our place on purpose and ruined the job, got the whole company sold, went to the nuthouse, came back, ruined shit some more, the DM was so insane he believed him over me about things I guess. I guess in the end, we were both managers but uhh "he" got "me" to "work" no he never did his job lmao

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in truth i felt like i was dead
like i already got trafficked and now i was dead in the afterlife or something and i finally got to go home

then at home it just persisted and got worse like it was all real and i'm still in this hell and i got hitmen and assassins after me now
idk

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i had all these thoughts and "past visions" flowing through me
like, idk. like a police officer who knew what was going on but he couldn't do anything. like he was my father. and like he got killed or something. or that he killed me because things were so hopeless and they were all coming after me.

idk.

i had another similar episode in 2017 which led me to a psych ward for 3 months. same stuff there.

i was in a fugue state wandering all over helsinki and, idk, i wandered into a hotel and it was like. there was plaques there like for the "prevention of human trafficking" and stuff and like stuff

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good leafs though

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waited for the bus there to take me to kajaani and then home there (drank my first asahi in kajaani)

the pink latex outfit i wear it's also like, connected to this stuff. like i got no limbs underneath, like i got my limbs cut off. a fear state

but i walked back home so i do have my legs at least. and i'm writing this stuff so i got hands. so i'm really glad about that

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leafs

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truthfully it all still feels kinda real to me.
my being feels a little cursed but that's fine i guess

idk
this shit's fucked up but in a weird way it's comforting to me

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my backyard

im lonely and i need my weed
i dont mind being lonely though but weed is great

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hoshiboshi

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da moon

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why are troonies so attracted to /b/?
>this op is a man (male)
probably possessed by a demon
i hope you find whatever help you need. this fixation against nature and your body is insane. if you believe in reincarnation, you stand a chance of being born a female in the next life, or suffer the curse of a cosmic joke and be born male (man) again
decisions, decisions…
why dont (you) get approved for gender affirming care? could that help?

>>943162356
>>943159392
>>943159350
>>943159339
>>943159325
these all have to be bots right? what's the point.

>>943157756
Your finger/toe nails look sickly.

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>>943162673
I have very healthy nails actually there's just dirt underneath that's all

idk, kinda feels like im stuck in some kinda arg or something
and still cant find muh weed xd
feel better though, like myself.
even the bots and spammers dont bother me like they used to

nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa xd lol
im on ventscape.life LOL

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LOOK im helping people

lmao im like so tired of pretending to be something im not im fucking randumb nigga lol xd zomg fuck psychiatrists i love le canada tho that shit went too far and im eternally grateful if im not in trouble fuck man im crazy tho

i like typing the way i did just now

fuck idk if its autism idgaf if its autism tho autism honestly feels like a fake term to label people under some kinda idk its shifting respnosibility

just like "cannabis induced psychosis" is just laziness on part of doctors and shit

and weed should be legal in finland!

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see???

fuawk typing like this kinda giving me the same kinda rush like weed fuck yeah bitch

hopefully that nigga ass guy who put up 6g for a ridiculously low price is actually sending me that weed and its not some kinda scam fuckckckckc

and his writing was really sketchy tho the good kinda sketchy i dont really wanna have my trust broken by people who write like that cuz stuff

i have some kinda ADHD thing honestly and antipsychotics like olanzapine? n o g o o d they don't do a fuckin thing to help they're bad with tons of side effects like i can feel my prolactin shooting way up and it's not good and HRT treatments in finland suck dick and finland overall just KINDA SUCKS

but I like kuhmo finland its a nice place to be and idgaf about russia its weird living right next to supposedly that country idk i dont really know

but i go to mordor everyday basically (s-market) so idk

idk im just glad i dont have hitmen and assassins after me anymore!!! and that gangstalking stuff??? all my spamming? i hope its forgiven tho idk if i deserve to be forgiven

idk im like a spirit of the old chanz except im not fake or unreal or a bot

im da real thing

and im really bored
normalize writing like a retard

idk maybe the world is fake maybe it is a carefully curated illusion or something idk
oulu sure put my head in a spin lmao LOL
man that shit was serious

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>>943162577
YES!
its a troonie hating bot
>do you realize how disgusting many anons believe you to be
not only are (you) clinically insane
you type the craziest shit here
you look crazy too
i hope someone sells you angeldust laced weed and then you claw your face off with those filthy man nails

i have disengaged tyrannical controller mode
i am now free to be whatever i am
i am afraid to be loved!

see. dissociative disorders
are at a very high risk (especially in finland) to be misdiagnosed as psychotic disorders

and i've been fucked over a lot

and chances are given le finland shitty doctors thing

they might even take away my HRT due to having a dissociative disorder

MAN FUCK IM SO FUCKED!!!!

y'see
my behaviours and acts have been merely an act of self-preservation, self-defense
i've never really gotten to just be
the doctors kinda fucked up my eye
and psychiatrists have been very non-understanding
and HRT treatments in finland are fucking stone age tier

STILL
DESPITE ALL
i'd rather grow up in a dysfunctional fuckup home over anything

my room is messy but ultimately even you will realize that order is a false facade (at least in my case)

Oh no this retard is back.

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I drink Asahi and smoke cigarettes in-game AND irl

maybe one day... the weed will come to me

has this thread been good

>>943165259
No. Only full of shit and just wasted people's time.

>>943165600
never had to come here loser

therapy is a scam
the best treatment is venting all my shit on imageboards
FUCK U
FUCK PSYCHIATRISTS LOL
and finland is kind of a shitty country for me
i love weed
in canada i'd take diks all day smoke weed and play wow (wow is much more fun while baked LOL)

i caaant finnnd my weedd its still here somewhere but in dis hoarder house cant be findin shiet it
my vape is good teh vape must be found as well
( i manually arrow-lefted to correct "the" to "teh" form)

>>943165616
Looking at this thread... at least I'm not as big a loser as the OP.

people have been kinda mean to me

i've always felt kinda suppressed
locked away

>>943165711

You have that going for you, Anon

if i'd find my weed i'd already be just playing guitar and doing fl studio stuff
it sounds corny or whatever you call it but it's true
LE WEED helps me do things and be.
fuck i can't describe properly how GOOD WEED IS FOR ME
but that goes against le weed causes psychosis and is le bad le finland narrative
u know

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>>943165935

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and so what if i post nudes and act crazy sex deviant like on 4chan
it's all i got in this town
and i like doing it too these outfits are fun and its just fun to be horny sometimes

doctors are always too quick to pull the trigger on me and stuff
yeah the stuff in october, it went too far and i guess i needed the bin and that canada stuff. it just got too bad i understand. i'm glad it reset me a bit

but this has been my experience
and my experience has been kinda meh

and the only friend i have is weed and weed is good and it's legal in a lot of places and i should have the right to be in a place where weed is legal

weed is legal in my house

i'm just bored and frustrated and lacking le weed energy that directs my motivation and focus into things i enjoy and like

they just dont understand me here

and i like weird things too

everything i do is weird in some way

>>943156869
Have you tried just being a regular faggot? Trooning sounds like a lot of work.

im breaking le 4th wall and also eradicating negativity and etc.

>>943166142
what's a lot of work is tweezing every face hair i got
would be nice to get laser done but alas, i live in
kuhmo, finland

shit op shit thread

WHEAR COULD I HAVE STUFFED THE VAPE AND WEED
UGH

>>943157756
It would be a lot easier to find shit if you cleaned up your room, screwball.

shit thread shit op

>>943166220
my room is just how it is and i've already basically looked through everything idk where tf it could be

gonna listen to "prayers for rain" now thx

shitty taste in music shitty op

how do they even make these so incredibly well layered tracks and reverse piano and stuff how do they make it so perfect?

>>943158408
Christ, this boring. If you want us to hang around and counsel you, drop those PJ bottoms and stuff something in your fuckhole.

LOL
if i had my weed i wouldn't even be posting LOL
i'd be too focused on just appreciating things and doing things i enjoy LOL

You shatter me, your grip on me
A hold on me so dull it kills
You stifle me

(to the doctors in finland)

You fracture me, your hands on me
A touch so plain, so stale it kills
You strangle me, entangle me
In hopelessness and prayers for rain
I deteriorate, I live in dirt, and nowhere glows but
Drearily and tired the hours all spent on killing
Time again all waiting for the rain

>>943166396
You can always go to the archives to see his previous posts and find the pictures there

i wish weed wasnt so fucking demonized by the fucking doctors and shit

>>943159243
Shit, at least you have Healthcare. If you're fucked in the head in America, and have no money, you just stay fucked.

i wish weed was just fucking legal
oh wait
it is in canada
a place i never fucking got to go and never fucking will because of the shit i pulled under what is summarizable as a dissociative trauma self-protection state

>>943166566
i'da rather just stayed fucked. fuck that shit. doctors have mostly just been harmful to me.

>>943166566
If he lived in Canada he would have been euthanized a long time ago.

even so i cant help but fucking be attached to my family too i feel bad for em and shit and i do have a sense of love that i feel and some sense of commitment and they just cant really speak english so it's all fucked either way

and i got this nagging feeling that 4chan's running these angry hateful bots that have caused me a lot of harm and escalated my behaviours and shit got so way out of hand they're just ashamed and idk

IDK WHATS GOING ON

all of this just feels like some kinda fuckin experiment

an d i cant stand doctors

im not fucking psychotic
im fucking traumatized
and it all could have been dealt with just approaching me like a person not some fucking psychotic animal or some shit

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

DONT YOU GET THAT ITS ALL FUCKING TRAUMA AND SHIT

this thread is full of shit

THE KINGS OF SPAIN NIGGER
RAOUUULLLLLL

>>943160146
If your over 18 it shouldn't be a problem. They just stopped giving it to minors.

nobody in this shithole country truly understands me except for that one friend i had who i drove away EXACTLY BECAUSE OF THIS DOCTOR TRAUMA SHIT AND BEING STUCK HERE

>>943166752
im only 37

see its better when i just get to vent instead of being dragged away by doctors and just shoved olanzapine down my throat

im so fucking bitter at it all

>>943161265
>i developed the human trafficking fears
No one wants to traffic a troop, the Arabs want real women. You'll be fine.

>>943166843
fuck off this topic is actually serious not for your fucking 4changpt bots to fucking ruin

>>943166843
When I saw his pictures, he will be fine. No one would take that creature even if they paid.

>>943161361
>>943161417
Fuck, that town looks depressing. Small wonder you're fucked in the head.

it's just an undeniable truth that finland truly has been kind of a shitty fucking country for me and that i've been through some pretty meh stuff and it's all made me act out in some fucked up ways

as far as i'm concerned i own /b/ now

what a fucking trauma shitfest this was too with catastrope who i fucking feared despite him being closest to me and fukc ufck fuck fuck fucking worried he's a serial killer fuck my life i've been in fear all this time and maybe it was for nothing i still dont know fuck all my friends are gone and i found them all from here more or less and i fucked it up because this place was fucked up
>>943166903
thanks you kinda understand.
i'm still just hopelessly attached to it.

>>943166891
*Get paid

>>943166903
oh, that's oulu, a bigger city. yeah you're right.
i would never live anywhere in finland but kuhmo. the rest of the country is just too depressing for me.

even now, in this state?
with how this thread got?

i'd still rather do this than talk to a bunch of fucking nurses who write everything down in fucking OmaKanta where they "anonymize" that shit and sell the data.

for fuck sake.

>>943162738
I don't think the hrt is working, Manny McManhands.

i only see shit here and the OP is full of shit

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just fucking look
>Findata provides access to social and health register data for secondary use when the data originates from multiple public data controllers, private service providers, or the Kanta Services.
its no wonder i have no trust or appreciation for this shit in finland

what a fucking joke this all is

>>943166622
That would probably be for the best. He's never going to be happy.

>>943167108
i was happy for a while, even in this thread
when i was typing like a retard and just feeling like my unfiltered self. something i'd like to be more.
instead i got all this shame and fucking 4chan-gpt bots insulting me constantly that the site administration is probably feeling some remorse over at this point or idk who even runs this site fuck

either way i feel much better venting than listening to some fucking doctors

>>943156869
Good lord i wish you would just kill yourself and stop posting on 4chan.

kuhmo, finland doesn't even feel like a real place
finland doesn't even feel like a real place
it's so fucking isolated and far away
nothing feels real
it all just feels like some fucking prison matrix or some shit

>>943167150
Its not bots, people have faggot exhaustion. Kill yourself please

>>943166891
I dunno, if i could get one cheap, I'd buy a half-blind troon and keep it in a dog kennel, just for laughs.

i just realized
i just unlocked a magic trick
i can just step away from this shit for a while and go smoke a cigarette and reset and relax a bit

i dont need to let this shit affect me so badly

i win losers

and i'll find my weed

OP is a pile of shit and his personality is just shit

>>943167350
i got a million personalities and the good ones are not for u faggot

also

FUCK YOU FAGGOTS
I JUST LEARNED AN UNIRONIC MAGIC TRICK THAT STOPS ME FROM SPIRALING

>>943167233
i hope you stay away. we don't miss your shit.

>>943166929
>fucking worried he's a serial killer
Medfag here. These kinds of obsessive, compulsive, intrusive thoughts indicate OCD. If your done with drugs, find a behavioral psychologist with experience in behavioral therapies. There's been some breakthroughs in treatment. You'll want a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. An MD will just pump you full of drugs. Good luck.

>>943167413
your brain is full of shit

AND IM GONNA GO FOR A WALK NOW
AND BUY 2 CANS OF ASAHI
CUZ I CANT FIND MY WEED
so beer it is
japanese beer too cuz japan things are great or something
>>943167429
well there's none to be found here lel kuhmo, finland is a mysterious timewarp zone where no help can truly reach apparently other than faux help from olanzapine pushing psychiatrists kek who misdiagnose dissociative disorders as le psychotic disorders

anyway walkie time

this is the shittiest thread I've seen in years.

>>943167586
well yesterday's thread was really good so this can be shit i guess for all i care
anyway im walking to mordor now to buy 2 cans of asahi
a mile there and back

>>943167429
It's not worth arguing with the OP. He's been posting this kind of trolling for years.

>>943167639
looks like shit. a shitty person likes shit. nothing new.

>>943167664
It's not trolling it's venting and a bit of a cry for help but I've already had all the help my friends are just kind helpful voices in my head now

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Into the darkness I go
Towards mordor
For the quest of Asahi (2)

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My life is kinda like an anime
A video game even perhaps

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A bend in the darkness
Illuminated by ugly LED streetlights

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Sodium vapour rules the world

>>943167826
No offense, but everything you've posted so far seems like a big troll.

>>943168157
No it's all been quite serious I'm a disturbed individual with a trauma background that has been entirely disregarded by doctors and my dissociative disorders have been for years on end misdiagnosed as psychotic disorders

And the doctors are very reluctant to admit that a lot of my trauma comes directly from them

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Mordor be down this hill

>>943168215
That doesn't sound like the truth. You're a big troll.
Hopefully everyone else realizes that too.

>>943168260
Be honest. Are you a bot?
4chan is riddled with bots these days

And the site administration just lets it happen
And quite possibly is behind a lot of the betting.
(Frieren mode activated fuck you)

>>943168286
If you post even the slightest bit of negative criticism, you are a bot? Yeah, you're clearly a troll posting.

>>943168317
Idk it's just that your posts have no real sentiment or substance behind them.
It's true that bots have taken over this site a lot

Bots can never make an authentic seeming post, with real emotion or sentiment.
They can only repeat ad infinitum only the most dullest points of an argument and respond in the generic ways you've seen now in this thread.
Real always recognizes real
Bots can't form real connections
Only humans can.
Earlier in this thread there was authentic connection going on. Now it's been fading.

Anyway, soon at mordor

>>943168351
If that's what you're thinking, it's time to get better English reading skills. You could also acquire basic common sense at the same time.

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Mordor looms

>>943168450
Bot post. Beware!

I am anime

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Visit Helmi Simpukka

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I have arrived at mordor
I'll smoke a cigarette and head inside

Actually forget the cigarette not in the mood

>>943168496
Is this the famous gas-station you threatened to set on fire?

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Loot acquire

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Asahi acquire

>>943168619
Ah, log-keeping stalker-kun. Nice to have you here

shit tier pizza and beer. shitty person with shitty taste.

>>943168685
Someone posted your previous posts so that's where I found it.

>>943168721
You don't have to hide

Ahhh got Asahi in my system
Rather it be weed but oh well just can't find it

>>943168794
Unironically you were much much nicer when you were medicated. You were almost human.

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Beware
I feel house mode coming up with asahi

Or maybe not idk
Either way he's better than the doctors I've had

>>943168885
Are you aware of your inherently dehumanizing stance?
Besides, I got cat ears bitch

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>>943159568
Drab

Is Finland some kinda ARG realm
The synchronicities are kinda wild

It just feels weird being placed in this isolated dumpster
So close to le Russia too

>>943169044
It's a shame you didn't continue the medication. You've returned to being a subhuman.

The winter war also feels like complete madeup fairytale shit
None of this shit feels real

>>943169489
You're committed on viewing me the way you do.
Interacting with you is pointless.

The whole world feels fake and made up honestly.
But especially finland.
Finland especially feels made up and bullshit

Honestly?
I'm probably right.
All of this shit feels so... contrived

>>943169538
Basic subhuman behavior. Hide your head in the sand and bad will go away. I recommend continuing the medication. A lot of people spoke so positively about you when you were taking them. But as usual, you're not listening. You should check those cat ears.

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I'm a victim of trauma and shitty circumstance and the whole world is made up fake bullshit and finland is a fake shithole.
Not even fake and gay.
Just a fake shithole
And so is the world at large.

Whatever

>>943169690
I reported you to the police btw

>>943169730
Thank you for reporting it yourself. Part of my plan.

>>943169771
let me guess
this is all part of my self-do therapy on le 4chan and you're actually a le hecking good guy and everything will turn out le hecking well and my le friends will come back (not that i'd know what to do with friends anyway) and this whole shit was some ARG shit and im some human trafficked fucking quad amputated nugget in a VR simulation or some shit and the human trafficking shit was real and this is some dream world or some shit

fucking grim but this is the internal world that i have

>>943169876
Weird fetish fantasy you got there, but no.

man i hope not. that shit is fucking bad
but hey i got asahi and ciggies now so it's not too bad
wish it'd be weed tho.
weed is so much better

>>943169947
it's not a fetish it's a fucking horrible fear
but speaking of fetishes and kinks? yeah i do like the bitchsuit thing. it looks and feels cozy tho i've never been put in one. i do like bdsm stuff.

hey since im drunk now, we might as well talk, you're probably not that bad to talk to once in the mood

drunk brooding kat moodo activate now
i feel like that guy uhhh
whats his name
escape from new york guy hmmm fuck i dont remember the depressed guy in stargate (the movie)

ive never watched escape from new york

Post your ass already

weed is so much better than alcohol but i guess this'll suffice for now
i had so much fun just looking at my male troll frost mage while baked last night and just having these fantasy scenarios in my mind and getting immersed

Katting off again I see

>>943170039
Kurt Russell as Snake Plissken

>>943169963
That money could have been used for a trip to Canada. The more money you spend on unnecessary things, the less chance you have of getting out of Finland. Thank you for buying products that bring tax money into your country. That money goes directly to pay doctors' salaries.

>>943170118
ah yeah kurt russel yeah that guy. cool cool.
>>943170109
i've already done that plenty i look like a hobo right now and still haven't taken off my jacket

>>943170118
He got out of the hospital and immediately went back to being a narcissistic, smug asshole.

>>943170163
narcissistic? idk about that its up for debate
smug?
no, i'm pretty beaten down and disillusioned, that's what i am

BUT

i do like being Loki hahaha that's who i am lol i really am it just makes sense hahah lol

>>943170148
> i've already done that plenty i look like a hobo right now and still haven't taken off my jacket

Well take it off and post hole, I’m horny and a degenerate

>>943170148
You take it easy now
I'm gonna go get some beers myself

>>943170163
What's it to you? Crazy people nowadays are the more sensible ones.
Look at the normies.

Well I got a new thread lined up for once this 404s
>>943170306
Be sure to drop in and say hello lol

>>943170423
you underestimate my current laziness levels and even so i just feel unappealing as fuck right now

ahhh man did i give this stalker guy an idea with this post? >>943169876
do i have to be worried about this shit now too? i'd rather fucking not ugh

>>943170472
>>943170520
> you underestimate my current laziness levels and even so i just feel unappealing as fuck right now

Post some new nudes and this thread dies. You’re good looking and I’m horny for some kat ass

>>943170630
Don't worry. No one wants to see your ugly face up close and no sane person would want to be near you. People are getting mental cancer just reading your posts.

>>943170842
okay thanks for alleviating my worries then mr. post ending in 42 kun

>>943171120
Hey it’s me post ending with a number. Post hole thanks xoxo

>>943171120
You're welcome, mister schizofreak post number 943171120.

yeah they really must be bots lmao

>>943171333
Truuuee. Op writes like a bot!