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>carnival maxxing edition
everyone is welcome updates will be posted here periodically.
>>
Yo TF, good to see you doing well bud
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>>21452304
hello australia gm or gn
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWMB9Qg_4i0
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>>21452400
Night mate
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i wasnt asked to come into work today unfortunately. hopefully they get another big job soon. im not sure im ready for full time again yet. maybe not ever if i cant get better.
i think i do recognize when im falling into darkness but at that point how do you care enough about yourself to find the way out?

so what are you doing today, tribe?
>>
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im still waiting on the heating element for the kiln.
im not feeling very good today honestly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JITpFPAWPaE
>>
Bitty general is so boring right now what's going on in here
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8Ug1Q41QVU
>>
>>21452987
ive heard it be called schizophrenia
>>
i dont think thats entirely true im not sold yet at least. probably not well socialized.
>>
like a bad dog
>>
>>21453014
>like a bad dog
Yes you were a very bad TF the other day that was completely uncalled for...looks like you're feeling better let's hope it stays that way and no more meltdowns
>>
i need to be loved and reminded that i can be and that im not a monster who deserves to be put down
>>
i wish i could share my life with someone one day without fear of being myself or attractive enough or having delusions and meltdowns and ruining everything
>>
its not that i want a 'do everything for me' mommy gf but i probably need some fair amount of tard wrangling before i can actually become normal.
i do think most men need a woman in their life to help make anything out of them.without that most of us are lost for spark and purpose. without someone to guide and center us we very easily fall to darkness.
there are some men who stand on their own, i know a few. but they seem to generally had very strong protective parent figures.
of course there is always outliers but i dont think i am one of them. it doesnt seem that way.
>>
imo a key to a good man is recognizing how the woman empowers him to become his best and not abandon or mistreat her after she has
>>
i think most women probably want a man who is already made though and not really interested in that journey with someone.
>>
all fields
>>
thats not very nice
>>
its odd how the universe and every person in it was so intent on making sure we couldnt even be friends
>>
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even we were both guilty of it really
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The ladies at the corner store are sweet to me but if they are wearing a burka i think that means they are already married right? I need to be loved like i need air to breathe atp
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When are you checking in to a mental asylum?
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idk its never really accomplished anything but making me go without a cigarette
>>
what's your thinking behind never directly responding to people
>>21455761
^ like this?
>>
>>21455891
very ethereal selfie TF.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjiZb3goshM
mirror reupload to protect my guide from you know who
>>
>>21455891
me? it's hard to know who you're talking to when you refuse to follow the conventions of communication here
if you do mean me, what do you think my delusions are?
>>
i quote ppl all the time silly
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>>21455901
ty
>>
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>>21455901
>>
>>21455916
okay, I was being hyperbolic, I'll reword:
>what's your thinking behind sometimes not directly responding to people?
>>
my thinking is theres likely no one else viewing or posting itt and quoting makes it seem like i think my thread is more popular than it really is?
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeCLLNNR2bQ
>>
>>21455963
okay, I get that - is it also sort of like "what's the point, when there's not enough people here to justify it"?
both of those make sense, but it's still really confusing and hard to follow for me, maybe as an autistic thing, like *you* know who you're responding to, but other people don't necessarily
I'm glad to hear you're not doing it to be rude or something like that, it seemed rude at first - or maybe not 'rude', but 'inconsiderate' at least

anyway, how're you holding up?
seems like you've had a rough few days - I've still not forgotten that you randomly called me a piece of shit, but I get you were going through the wars, so I forgive you
did the EMS ever show up? it's kinda bad if it didn't
>>
i really am a parasite the only interest ppl have in me is because of her
>>
>>21455986
well i generally dont trust anyone from the community is sincere atp and no EMS never showed up.
i dont know that they could actually help me. none of this stuff has ever worked before its just ingrained in who i am the culture and class of people i come from.
>>
>>21456001
I get what you're saying, I'm not sure psychiatrists really know how to help with a lot of conditions; humanity's understanding is still pretty basic
it does kinda seem like you're doing better from your posts, at least, but they could at least stop you from doing something rash if things got really bad again, so it still seems bad they didn't bother to show
it just doesn't work like that over here even though our medical system is collapsing - the ambulance always show up, even if it takes hours to get there

and you're right not to trust anyone here; lots of bad people, lots of trolls, impossible to tell what people's intentions are, and you can never really know the true essence of the person on the other side of the screen
but you shouldn't let that stop you from engaging with people - just keep them at arm's length, and don't let them into your innermost space

there are people who like you, and who don't have bad intentions towards other people, as well as the really damaged ones who seem to want to hurt you for their own amusement
>>
its messed up that particular small group of ppl keep telling me her cop boyfriend made her do it. they know that tiny bit of reassurance that she cared was enough to turn my whole world around and their natural instinct is to try and take that away from me. they know i really love her but they dont care they would rather see me dead.
>>
>>21456035
thank you
>>
>>21456041
yeah, that's exactly what they're doing
but I don't think they think about it in those terms; they're just really adept at knowing which buttons to push with people, but I don't believe it involves thought as such - it's more like they just have an instinct on how best to hurt people
for a lot of people, they can say the most hurtful things, and from their perspective, the words just flow out of their mouths directly from their subconscious mind, bypassing thought entirely
I know this because they've told me afterwards
>>
>>21453008
i think maybe its not schizophrenia but maybe more just OCD type thing?
>>
>>21455891
This shot is pretty kino ngl tf
>>
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>>21456949
thanks you
my camera isnt very good and makes stuff look hazy and ugly and i look insane so it works well together
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gn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTmoxSigEyU
>>
>>21452923
How are you supposed to smoke out of this?
>>
gm
>>21457308
its not for smoking its just to be pretty
>>
.
>>
if she married summer i think i could be happy but no boys or normie girls
>>
i think i understand why i do it now
>>
its like if i fall for someone and they arent interested i will act out and do things to make us argue or fight and they push me away then i channel that into hate and resentment to make me stop loving them. this is how its gone in the past and it was the improper way. obviously i never improved because i avoided the real pain and healing process for a low vibrational cop out emotions.
for whatever reason its not working this time too. maybe that is my karma payment for choosing hate and taking the easy way out every time.
there could be more to this but thats my thoughts for now.
>>
i really dont want to walk through this fire im a coward im going to take a nap
>>
>>21459788
gn
>>
.
>>
i fix the aspect ratios and reuploaded.
i really need a life. im gonna drive to town. gb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMbnKWVLBpU
>>
>>21462033
Have a good day
>>
.
>>
Treefaggots should join that nigger that blew his brains out over a Daenerys AI recently
>>
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First hit off a cone got wizard powers ngl
>>
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Stop hating because im cute
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I have a funny story about how i learned to drive ill tell u in a minute
>>
got new incense i am happy for this.
>>
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so when i was a freshman no one had started teaching me how to drive yet because my family was all checked out on drugs really bad. i use to walk to my aunt's restaurant in town after school to wait for someone to take me home and my aunt was getting mad that i was there one day because it was suppose to be like a kinda fancy place for teachers and boomers to dine at and i am trashy and she felt i made the place look bad i guess by being there.
so my cousins boyfriend stops by to drop her off to work and my aunt asks him if he can take me home and they get into a little spat about how my parents should do that stuff but eventually he agrees but hes pissed.
so he immediately starts grilling me about why cant i drive yet and says hes going to teach me today.
first thing he has me do is take him by the gas station and he buys a bluntwrap and begins rolling it in the seat next to me while giving me instructions on how to drive.
then we get on the highway and its literally my first time ever driving on one. he makes me smoke the blunt with him on the 30 minute ride home with me going all off the road and line of cars behind us.
he told me learning to drive like this will be very useful for me one day or something like that. i didnt understand at the time because i didnt realize where my life was headed but he was right.
had a flat tire when we got to my house.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77pY-ts4-_o
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i kept my promise today
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>>21463318
Could you explain what this is saying TFers?
>>
>>21464043
this king of cups and queen of wands is not in their strength right now. they could be looking at a community and/or contemplating long-term decisions and where they might take them.

on the left path we see 7 of wands reverse, indicating treachory or lack of conviction. in this picture a man is defending himself, in reverse this could be unsuccessfully or for the wrong reasons. this path seems to lead to hopelessness, depression, hardship, and away from the divine. ultimately this road seems to lead to darkness.

on the right we see 3 of wands. a man waits patiently and contemplates his decisions. he is optimistic about the future and new experiences. we see this could be a path that leads to this 6 of swords. moving to calmer waters, a transition from old into the new.
ending with 6 of cups on this queen of wands reverse. happy memories, reaching out, sharing.

every read is different and how i place them and read them is mostly followed by intuition in the energy.

i wont explain the readings too often here since this is not a safe place many bad actors are always lurking. these reads could contain hidden messages and be the only way to communicate.
>>
>>21464494
I understand. I appreciate the explanation though. Thank you TF. Hope you're doing well buddy.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsccjsW8bSY
>>
one of the seethers was dming me pretending to be nice but now he sends stuff to insult me about her then deletes it really fast. not sure whats wrong with him desu.
>>
i have met so many ppl who pretend to me nice and pick my brain just so they can leak my dms or try to manipulate me. very strange community
>>
>>21464545
>very strange community
I should say so. There's just something very "off" you know? Re-reading old archived posts with "fresh eyes" really elucidates the issue.
>>
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grim
>>
ive been a drug addict since 16 my parents started giving me a drug allowance so id stop stealing them from them and breaking into family member houses
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>>21464551
>There's just something very "off"
Why you feeling this way All of a sudden bio?
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>bnat when they see this 60yo narcissistic retard hasn't checked in to an asylum yet
>>
my last experience getting baker act they brought me there with open wounds covered in broken windshield glass i couldnt clean off put me in a room with someone twice my size alone the mattress was covered in leather so it was too hot to sleep on so i layed on the concrete floor with just a bed sheet that had scabies on it and didnt eat the entire time i was there. periodically a nurse would come in and tell me i wasnt allowed to sleep on the floor so i would stand up until she would leave.
some chad came in at one point with pussies and naked women tattoo'd all over him to give me a brochure for a rehab program.
the end
>>
>>21464678
i had tried to OD on my medications
>>
she never gonna talk to me anyways desu
>>
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>>21464682
Time to finish the job. It will never get any better for you. You're past the point of furthering your bloodline, you already failed the main directive of being a man. No matter how much glass you make or how many card reads you do, it won't change the fact that Ariel is getting fucked into oblivion the last few days by some hardcore Aryan. Time to embrace the deep sleep or keep prolonging your suffering by still thinking about Ariel and doing nothing about her taking huge cocks with other men.
>>
>>21464729
thanks i will take this into consideration
>>
i want to get some face paint for halloween so i can do a black metal fire breathing photoshoot but idk if ill go thru with it
>>
i need to find something to do today

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5EH8-h-mWg
>>
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>>21464883
What kind booze you drink
>>
>>21464963
i can drink pmuch anything just dont really like rum i guess but im not a habitual drinker its never really been my thing but i do it occasionally.
i can see how someone could become addicted to it though.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZNp_tQAGHY
>>
>>21464621
No idea. I liken it to working on a puzzle? It's like i'm almost done putting it together and then suddenly near the end, things aren't lining up and you question if you did it right at all. That's me atm.
>>
>>21466362
you getting schizo on me lol
>>
>>21466664
lol there’s a method to the madness I assure you.
>>
i hate reading old stuff i wrote so i never go back
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPF0VoxKj0Y
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dear mr 3rd party,
there is no beef between me and jr. he said he loved me and hopes i get better. this was the other big thing to calm me down besides betty saying she was calling ems.
we might argue but its like brothers. you guys are weird hateful stalkers and you really need a hobby or something and to practice doing some good in your life. the world has enough people projecting hate and darkness into it.
sincerely,
treefingers
>>
>>21467946
Ignore them TF that guy you're talking to has been making accounts left & right on twitter to try & fuck with Betty
>>
the lady at the store let me have $2 candles for $1 each because they didnt have stickers.
this is a good sign
>>
>>21468304
maybe you can deal some cards that undo that that absolute shit show meltdown you had the other day and betty just forgets or doesnt care any more good fucking luck
>>
>>21468332
not neccesary she loves me and wants me to get better thats top tier loving me reserved only by my closest friends and family.
>>
bitty likes me
>>
i think she loves me more than any girl ever has honestly. its really a matter of perspective.
>>
>>21468400
maybe not romantically but with a compassion that is set apart from what i am use to.
>>
bitty risked a lot putting the tip in..but because she likes me so much she did it anyway... i wish she never did...because i like her too and seen all the hisatria it caused and mental breakdoowns... it might have contributed to your breakdown as well...so for that i apolgize....but i wont apolgize for me liking bitty and her liking me too
>>
>>21468422
you think i dont know you are a double agent but you must forgot the gifts i possess
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLGl-pG6O5U
>>
i am going to sleep and hoping to see her in my dreams gn
>>
>>21464494
Thank you. I hope things get better.
>>
good morning
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLXTpXrm4cc
>>
tfg is dead nowadays so much for tf being entertaining
>>
>>21471335
its true the only attention i ever got was just from her stalkers
>>
>>21471364
today is day 1 of 30 - no DMs no post in /bbg/
>>
congrats man, you'll get through this
>>
>>21471375
i want to show her im sorry for being mentally ill and that i am trying to practice self control.
i had a realization that i am a worse vibe killer than the seethers. at least they probably make her laugh. i just make everyone uncomfortable or drag them into darkness with me.
>>
>>21471388
if i knew how to navigate social services or really explain to the doctors whats wrong with me i would. it just feels like a labrynth of endless money sink and experimental medications that always lead me nowhere.
>>
>>21471388

thats the thing about mental illness you yourself arent aware of it, big steps you're taking which is good im glad to see some progress in a positive way
>>
>>21471072
thank you :)
>>
>>21471584
i guess its progress but it doesnt feel like it. it just feels tragic overall really. thank you though
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFJPeprO10g
>>
might have the kiln working again tonight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Q_JwOqko4
>>
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try to get picture of the pretty sunset but its hard normies judge me in the parking lot
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im not posting in /bbg/ so dont even try.
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>>21474683
Save it desu, let that collect then make it into hash
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>>21474552
the energy is weird but i believe she is ok maybe needing rest and contemplation.
>>
if you miss her and are worried you should let her know show some love
>>
>>21474784
I was just about to ask you about her, that's good. Bitty is still among us.
What about you TF, how have you been today, smoking all day?
>>21474786
Always
>>
>>21474788
yes and sleeping. i might try to make something tonight but everythings feeling off the last few days.
>>
>>21474794
Agreed, stuff does feel off but not necessarily in a bad way either idk how to explain it
>>
>>21474794
its hard not to feel miserable about everything i really dont like the direction my life has been going. i always end up back here trapped in this little bubble.
>>
>>21474801
ill pull some cards in a moment we'll see whats going on in the collective
>>
>>21474804
>i always end up back here trapped in this little bubble.
There is some comfort in places like these, you have to admit
>>
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five of swords
there is someone sneaking around that does not want to be seen/exposed. this could be a very vindictive person.
im also getting someone watching this thread could be drinking. hopefully not too much..
there are parties spreading misinformation to cause frustration or unrest in a community.
someone showing love has upset this queen of cups reverse and high priestess reverse. these two could like projecting dark energy onto others.
i think betty is ok. maybe shes at a party?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrhFDpc7zJ8
>>
>>21474943
>there is someone sneaking around that does not want to be seen/exposed. this could be a very vindictive person
Not shocked
>im also getting someone watching this thread could be drinking. hopefully not too much..
The Latvian
>there are parties spreading misinformation to cause frustration or unrest in a community.
Par of the course
>someone showing love has upset this queen of cups reverse and high priestess reverse. these two could like projecting dark energy onto others.
We know who
>i think betty is ok. maybe shes at a party?
Pehaps
You have scary accuracy TF
>>
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im not feeling great so im going to bed. hopefully early start on some glasswork tomorrow. i still want to make the heart and i want to write Ariel on it instead. im not sure if thats weird. i guess that really doesnt matter atp.
goodnight
>>
>>21475166
Night TF, until next time
>>
>>21475166
I’ll be using your landscape photos as my wallpaper, very nice view
>>
>>21474809
yeah i dont mean so much here online i mean stuck at my dad's house in the middle of nowhere where isolation compounds into bad things.
the world i live in seems to get smaller and my ability to go outside and interact with it becomes worse as time goes on here but im still trying to fight it.
places like this is the only human interaction i really get. without this it would be very little contact with other people than just checking out at the gas station.
>>
isolation is how they punish prisoners -_-
then once you spend so much time in it you become like feral and nobody want u anymore.
>>
i smoked all the kief im sorry
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im going to try to reheat this from when i ran out of gas last time not sure if itll ruin the colors we'll see.
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>>21476247
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i went to the store to get rid of this money burning a hole in my pocket. i will never have a woman to save it from me.
on the bright side i was able to get some fuzzy pictures with my phone while the normies are asleep.
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i feel so out of harmony with this world
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5gUsnJX2oA
>>
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which do you guys think she would like the most?
>>
realistically i probly cant do any of them
>>
yeah its not going well i will keep trying though i said i would make her something pretty im already like a week late
>>
oh also day 2 of 30 no contact.. and it sucks
>>
>>21476250
Is that a BGC??
>>
>>21477485
no its just a gather you perv
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWMhXY9sNEI
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she should drive to florida and we get a house together ngl she can put in her name ill just give her my paychecks from my shitty job she can even keep me in a room somewhere. thats what boomers would have done.
>>
i understand im ugly and mentally ill so i would even consider letting her have boyfriends i guess please just come save me
>>
>>21477572
What's a gather?
>>
>>21477841
thats what you call a blob of glass you've gathered up to shape into something
>>
>>21477937
Looks like you shaped into a BGC sicko
...sick puppy
>>
i realized earlier i will be 50 in 14 years and im just ready for it to be over now
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftRIcCbfxEk
>>
dear seethers,
im beginning to notice a pattern of several of you investing an inordinate amount of time into trying to make me not like her and also approaching me as a "friend" to do so. this is very cringe but also a waste of your time. you will never convince me to stop caring for her. your motives are very transparent. theres nothing in your gofiles that would change this, spamming the bbc video while you cry wont change this. to me shes perfect and always will be.
if she ever were to give me a chance i would do everything to make sure it worked out. if your lucky you might see leaked pics of our pagan wedding. so just be happy and chill, if you really ever loved her you wouldnt do all this evil weirdo behavior. im a very forgiving person try not to mistake it for naivety.
thank you,
treefingers
>>
ps if i care about someone and you bully and be mean to them im not going to like you if you really wanted to be my friend you can start by not mistreating people i care about
>>
Who you voting for and why
>>
its really hard to write with glass it keeps snapping from too much pressure but you have to press enough to keep up with what the flame is melting making it get shorter as you write.
>>
>>21479484
no one
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>>21479484
its a uniparty what are you even voting between something about trans people and abortion? its just identity politics illusions they let indians sell drugs on every street corner legally and will let in as many immigrants needed to replace your non breeding demoralized peoples its unironically over and time to druidmaxx
>>
i wonder if shes not coming back until i leave 4chan because i make her uncomfortable
>>
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i miss her though ;(
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>>21479607
Have you thought yet that maybe she hasn't came back to post because you quit posting in bbg?
>>
>>21479635
i dont think thats it im still right here and she knows im just trying to give her space because i feel bad and im not mad at her.
im try to go to sleep gn
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good morning
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>>21479607
>>21479635
both of these are actually unhealthy thinking and assumptions. the imagination can put us through hell if we let it.
one of her main complaints about me is that i have delusions and think everything is about me. im really not relevant like that.
i have to try to change this about myself since its ruining my life and relationships before they can even happen.
>>
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ive already spent 2/3 of my life in these shadows and illusions with nothing but regrets. i just want to be happy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKtAt_lB3LA
>>
why dont you try to do something about it?
>>
>>21480730
like what
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>>21480730
i guess the only thing i havnt tried is some kind of therapy but i dont have consistent income like that right now and it would be hard to turn up without some form of support encouraging me to go. i have actual avoidant personality disorder its genetic from both parents. it is a very real struggle to even leave my room and its degenerative, always trying to get worse the longer im in it.
>>
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ive spent a lot of money and time trying to get better and find real help thats why its pretty mean everyone acting like a simple involuntary psych hold or doctor visit would fix all my problems like i havnt been through all this before alone with only people mistreating me the entire time
>>
i come home to the same places and people who led me there its kind of pointless
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwQZ3O3hUe8
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmFFTkjs-O0
>>
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>>21480832
Daphne or Roz?

For me it’s early 90’s Daphne or early 00’s Roz

Daphne got uglier and Roz got hotter
Milk and wine
>>
>>21480947
are you talking about frasier? i never watched that show i had to google it.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsbYoT1pVmw
>>
>>21480982
Yeah, do yourself a flavor

Watch Cheers
Go buy a C4
Then watch Frasier
Skip the Frasier reboot
>>
>>21481649
>Total TF, Betty, Bug, Poncho love
ty buddy i need it rn.
think i might go get some food and make try to relax and watch some s3. i forgot i still had season pass from bloodgames which is cool because i spent all my money ;/
>>
>>21482990
im so sorry. i wish you didnt have to deal with this. i hope your family member is ok. i will be praying for you guys.
>>
TF who is that on discord you're talking to?
>>
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i cropped non fishtank related ppl. that first person claims to be dject. he found me in the alt fishtank server when i was getting banned from ftl discord again. im still not sure what he did or people say he did i wasnt around for that. just know i was called him a bunch.
>>
>>21483623
Yeah i think the big initial confusion came from the both of you looking similar & acting schizo but now we know that not be the case. What do you really think about the recent happening?
>>
>>21483636
i dont have much context on what happened or the history of harassment/drama or certain characters in this story and i dont want to be accusing people. some people have given me bad vibes about this kind of stuff.
i dont think its any of the people who may be implicated right now though. i have someone in mind but im afraid its personal bias and not intuition. i just shouldnt get into that.
>>
>>21483859
Give a vague hint if you don't mind, you might not be the only one
>>21483863
Nice painting, very vampire-eque interpretation of you
>>
its not good for me to make assumptions about things or people
>>
the only thing i should say is i wont become like one of those people even though i am deranged and it may seem like it at times i know i am and i dont wish to be i wont make any promises because i always break them but i will put my everything into being a good person as i can be. trustworthy and transparent. i am deeply flawed but i am honest even at my own detriment.
>>
>>21483863
This is really, really good TF.
>>
those arent mine i wish i could live in them though
>>
i think speculating about all the drama and her personal life might be part of the problem like even though i have concerned myself its technically none of my business
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCC8nlVNHB8
>>
gn buddies



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