A very horrible annual ritual stands before us, let the mental preparation start...
>>21783265just need some jetalert, then i love my family again
nah it's not like that, i love themit's just...
>>21783278>lovehuh?
hmpf.
Mental preparation won't save you
that's a reason for moving out for you. this year would be my first to spend new year's holidays alone but thankfully i got my hands full with dealing with relapse (again) so there would be no time to feel alone or bored.also fish face
>>21786352If I was moving out I'd still be forced to attend the traditional jewish ceremony to conform to social norms>relapsegooning or drugs I don't geddit
>>21786374It... actually is both... Stimgooning specifically but over time it evolved into some sort of shamanic trance thing where I would microdose repeatedly and simply mindwander with dick in hand and it does not bring me any satisfaction whatsoever. So there's kinda no other option but to cull it away from my life for good... and that is where I'm at.Last weekend i gooned for two days straight and this wageweek was a wreck... No idea how i handled this before with ease.
>>21783756apologies, i went to bed
>>21786446oчeнь жaль чтo peaльныe пaцaны мpyт и кaлeчaтcя в oкoпaх кoгдa никчёмныe yeбки вpoдe тeбя cидят цeлыми днями дoмa и вoт тaкoй вoт хyйнeй зaнимaютcя, пынe нaдo пoлнocтью peфopмиpoвaть cиcтeмy вoинcкoгo yчётa и вмecтe бecпoлeзных тecтoв нa здopoвьe пpocтo пpoвepять кaкyю хyйню люди в инeтe пишyт и ecли нaхoдитcя вoт тaкoй вoт пиздeц тo в тy жe ceкyндy нaхyй в oкoп и бeз бpoникa лoвить гpaнaты дoлбoёбcкoй бaшкoй
>>21786446>gooned for two days straightLast week I did meph for a week in a row (after waging and slept like only 3 hours per day) and it was no problem and I don't think I even touched my pp twice.Thanks for making me feel absolutely superior. The tolerance increase was insane thougie, had to take 1.5g towards the end when it was 300mg in the beginning so now I'm kinda on le tolerance break and kind of tired of it anyways
>>21786469lolMost ruskies singed up themselves mobiks make up the smallest amount of frontline troops. Honestly I have more empathy for the ukies that are dragged to some understaffed positions just to get steamrolled by some 50 year old siberian mongols that singed the contract
>>21786469бyдeшь мнoгo злитьcя -- oблыceeшь>>21786489yeah that is where everyone starts and what i was trying to reattain by taking breaks but i inevitably go back to where i left off so complete abstinence is it
>>21786539That life will be boring, maybe I should pick up meth again and it will feel better, it's been a few weeks now... or make some more aryanspeed although I'd rather make explosives right now...
>>21786512even when the "partial mobilisation" humiliation ritual was ongoing you could just not go anywhere and nothing would ever happen to you >>21786539oт eжeднeвнoй дpoчки и жpaния нapкoты вoлocы пoвыпaдaют eщё быcтpee чтo-тo мнe пoдcкaзывaeт
>>21786559So what are you so angry about lil bro. Real men die in a trench because they're real men
>>21786572the amount of real men who die could be decreased if people whose lives literally worth nothing would pay the retard tax and die first
>>21786641They singed up for the money you retard. Everyone makes their own choices, why aren't you at the front?
>>21786559нy я бы нa твoём мecтe мeньшe пoлaгaлcя нa интyицию, yчитывaя, чтo для тeбя ocoзнaниe цeпoчки пocтoв (в чacтнocти eё мecт вpoдe "relapse", "last weekend" и "wageweek") дo тoгo, кaк ты дaшь вoлю фaнтaзии, пpeдcтaвляeт нeкyю тpyднocть
>>21786686I know enough from your past posts to know that his intuition is pretty much on the spot
I'm gonna smoke jet fuel
>>21786682you have no idea what you're talking about and even if so this still doesn't contradict my point >>21786686я нихyя нe пoнял нo дaжe ecли ты paбoтaeшь тo этo нe дeлaeт твoй oбpaз жизни мeнee дoлбoёбcким, хвaтит хyйнёй cтpaдaть и пoйди пpoгyляйcя или хoбби нaйди a нe cиди и дpoчи пo 2 дня пoдpяд пoд cтимaми нa выхoдных
>>21786707:Oso cool...
>>21786710I'm saying you're a hypocrite for not commiting to your own values. Besides you're not even a real man because you're not at the front blud, are you uuuh a tranny or something
>>21786734i literally only said that retards and drugheads should be punished for being satanic hedonists by having their rights to sit out big world events and paradigm shifts at home removed however
>>21786824That's authoritarian
>>21786824>satanic hedonistsI'm an absurdist, nothing in this world is worth my pain I take massive amounts of drugs because everything is so damn boringWhat do you care so much about that it's worth suffering?https://youtu.be/Yo_SYbMlErU?si=YOGd1pRGUhYQAqy5
>>21786854Hr smokes Jet fuel
>>21786854taking drugs is le bad because personality is literally the only thing that matters in a human being and is the only thing that makes you an individual and consuming niggerdrugs kills your brain and modifies and overrides your personality to the point that you're not even the same human anymore which is a fate worse than death, doing drugs is like consciously subjecting yourself to dementia
>>21787470I'm a disgusting piece of shit that is hardly capable of feeling empathy, was always a covert narc, and literally have nobody I care about enough to care about what happens to me so I guess the only thing that can change is for the better lolehttps://youtu.be/VIxfP0MgatY?si=BIFHetiT3tpV27Zp
Oh my gyatt I'm edgymaxxed tonight again I guess it's the heckin benzos
>>21787493you've just described like 80% of middle class normies from anywhere in the world yet i doubt gobbling up drugs to feel better is this common so that's strictly a skill issue or maybe i'm just really this deranged and out of touch and it's actually true that every other person is either on adderall or xanax nowadays
>>21787517I didn't think you could really offend me but calling me a normie kind of got me upset bleh
>>21787532you and the 80% of middle class normies from first world countries are two different entities that don't intersect and what i meant is you can still live a good life while being a empathyless narcissist without having to do drugs or be on mood stabilisers but i do speak from a "silver spoon possessing" kind of standpoint because i've never had any mental issues and i'm not planning on having them anytime soon
>>21787545I don't really think I really have mental issues myself even though they branded with those labels before, I'm just very bored of life and there's not much I enjoy. Occasionally I sneed about my le heckin unfair past that's probably also the reason I am like this but who doesn't do that. It's just very tiresome having to interact with people to go the path of least resistance and even though I'm only 20 most of my curiosity about things has already faded and there's only very few things that can still motivate me to do anything that requires energy. blehhttps://youtu.be/AHq0OEZGNKs?si=JPLmSiYtFVSYVAyB
>>21787568Maybe you could try not always going the path of least resistance then if it makes life bland Struggling isn’t that bad if it turns out to have a use in the end
>>21787578>Struggling isn’t that bad if it turns out to have a use in the endwhat about struggling which ended up having no use?
i guess the idea is to control which struggles happen, such that they end up being useful
>>21787578because I just don't care about 99.9% of things
>>21787583Well that’s just how it goes sometimes There is nothing good to say about that really, beside that you can always move on >>21787590Yes and no, sometimes you can choose you’re battles but sometimes you can’t
>>21787596How about you go and figure that out then? Unless you are fine with the way things are
>>21787603hmmm
>>21787568life is all about how you view it so if this is a tolerable state of things to you then it's fine and i don't have any problems with that and unless you're built really differently your brain will keep finding ways to cope and keep going which is mostly a good thing because from my personal experience life is like 51% enjoyable 49% unbearable and this 1% difference can feel like 100 at times you just gotta idle through a lot of boring days to experience these rare high momenti
>>21787607>>21787614You literally just don't comprehend what it feels like to not feel good or bad and just bored. If I was actually feel bad maybe I'd already be dead or incite some kind of desperate change and if I felt good I wouldn't be here.
>>21787639just download some videogames and start spending like 12 hours a day playing some cs2 or some call of duty or something so here i've solved your boredom
Hurry up and get on HRT so you can be bred
>>21787647I've literally stopped enjoying games like 5 years ago, I don't know how the fuck people actually play this shit without falling asleep
>>21787666ain't no way blud stopped enjoying games at 15 stop capping and uhm just play some high octane games like fortnite or whatever is popular amongst adhd teens of today while also blasting some phonk or breakcore, i'm sure you'll find that at least somewhat enjoyable
>>21787680The age when it was truly starting to be over is when I stopped watching anime completely with 17 or so. The only thing I still do is rewatch hellsing ultimate about every 6 months for the warm nostalgia of very bad times where I at least was able to feel anything
>>21787749ik what you meanremember you can always resort to drastic measures (other than straight up boring suicide)
>>21787770I hope when I off myself it won't be some boring shit out of misery but out of hate but it probably will be boring
>>21787783nah don't let it be boringjust move to a country where you don't speak the language & see how long you can last
>>21787793And that shoudl do what exactly? Be interesting? I'd rather die in some tench in Ukraine I bet that'd be kino
>>21788144>I'd rather die in some tench in Ukraine I bet that'd be kinoyeah that works toomaybe you'll make a buddy before you die from shrapnelor atleast see something interesting/wortwhile
>>21787749that is extremely hecking grim and saddening and i will be praying daily for your feelings to return but still that's probably just a phase and time can fix anything even something you don't feel yet
>>21788148It sounds so romantic but I'd probably be a shit fighter I'm not really fit and my russian sucks>>21788155wowzers le heckin empathymaxxers going strong tonight but I better go to sleep now because I'll start sneeding if I have to explain that time can't fix the past
>>21788170gngn>>21788155 is probably right
>>21788179shut the fuck up he's not time makes everything worse tell me one thing that has gotten better
>>21788170it can't fix the past but it can ease the cope and make you forget things you wanna forget in the present which is pretty desirable
>>21788195i'm not going tojust don't close yourself off to any experiences, and don't get too attached to anything either.if things suck, all you have to do is surrender to the ridiculous amount of chaos and wait for fortune to favor you.these machines make that nearly impossible, though. they make stagnation the path of least resistance, the same way heroin does.the problem with heroin isn't being addicted to heroin, it's the opportunity cost of everything else.
i beg you to let go of your defensiveness and accept the change.if you REALLY didn't care, you wouldn't say things like "shut the fuck up".
Huhg why am I even trying to tell third worldies that my life sux more than theirs... kinda pathetic
