persian edition>Educational sites:https://www.investopedia.comhttps://www.khanacademy.org/economics-finance-domain>Financial TV Streams:https://www.newslive.com/american/cnbc.htmlhttps://www.livestreamy.net/bloomberg/>Charts:https://www.tradingview.comhttps://www.finscreener.comhttps://www.portfoliovisualizer.com>Screeners: so you feel like in the movieshttps://finviz.com/https://etfdb.com/>Gambling:https://www.optionsplaybook.com/options-introduction/https://www.optionsprofitcalculator.comhttps://optionstrat.com/https://www.optionistics.com/quotes/option-prices>Pre-Market and Live data:https://www.investing.com/indices/indices-futureshttps://finance.yahoo.com/>Calendarshttps://www.marketwatch.com/economy-politics/calendarhttps://www.earningswhispers.com/calendarhttps://www.cmegroup.com/trading/interest-rates/countdown-to-fomc.htmlhttps://www.mortgagenewsdaily.com/data/building-permits>Boomer Investing 101: so zoomers with meme stocks can outperform youhttps://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_startedhttps://www.sec.gov/search-filings>Misc smg:https://www.financialjuice.com/homehttps://finance.yahoo.com/trending-tickershttps://market24hclock.com/https://www.dividendchannel.com/drip-returns-calculatorhttps://brokerchooser.com/https://www.chathamfinancial.com/technology/us-market-rates>NEW THREAD: Copy-paste the following when making a new thread:https://pastebin.com/GfB48W5Gprevious smigger thread>>62064253
Trump is a fat American cunt.
>>62064793BasedFuck Donald Trump
lean hogs
Here is how Operation Eagle Claw 2: Epstein's Fury will play out on the markets:>tonight Trump will announce a ground operation in Iran ending in TWO MOAR WEEKS>heavy airstrikes lasting a few days>no lasting effects on Iranian military capability, but shills will be spamming clouds of smoke everywhere>blitzkrieg euphoria>market initially rallies>airborne troops are deployed and immediately start getting droned>market violently crabs>US military doubles down and sends reinforcements>troops start their insane digsite operation to recover the uranium>get BTFO by ballistic missiles launched from the other side of the country>US troops are forced to abandon the operation with heavy casualties>market starts to dump>Trump attempts a naval landing in Southern Iran to save face>multiple ships get sunk with hypersonic missiles as soon as they approach the coastline>market shits blood and limits down>military commanders disobey Trump and withdraw>both sides at an impasse>no clear solution to reopen the strait>oil shorts get squeezed, triggering a financial crisis among all the private firms that the government influenced into shorting>the world dumps their US treasury bonds>US sovereign debt crisis and hyperinflation>the markets AND dollar both dump to zeroYou will dismiss this post as schizo bear copium, but watch this exact scenario play out over the next month and a half.
fatty hogs
bbw hogs
i want moon...!!!!
> futures
BIG ASSED BLACK TWERKING FAT HOG BITCHES
They don't call him Donald Dump for nothingGround invasion starts this weekendIran activates its terror cells on Sunday
>>62064825was expecting the baby deer to be raised by wolves as a twist
just lying down and accidentally squeezed a wrong gas and turned into wet crap that's a mess in my shorts and on legs. now I have to sit down spray wipe take a shower and change under clothes
what time frame are working with in terms of the death of the petrodollar? As I see it, it's already dead there has to be people moving money and some indication that we are the beginnings of this reality, will it take months or years to feel its effects? will the dollar hyperinflate like weimar germany or will we deal with austerity measures and stagflation? what happened to the british pound after their suez canal incident and how long did it take?
>>62064828I DON'T HAVE WORK ON SUNDAY HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET BLOWN UP!!!
This is the only investing strategy you need
>>62064836based pant shitter
>>62064826kek
>>62064838>what time frame are working with in terms of the death of the petrodollar? As I see it, it's already dead there has to be people moving money and some indication that we are the beginnings of this reality, will it take months or years to feel its effects? will the dollar hyperinflate like weimar germany or will we deal with austerity measures and stagflation? what happened to the british pound after their suez canal incident and how long did it take?probably years if it does happen
It's over.
lean gas
Everyone says they wouldn't break under torture, but you don't truly know until you're in the chair. Watching oil sit at $100, MSM in lockstep announcing the war over soon. As the screw tighten, I begin to consider the impossible: selling BP.
>>62064840smart money baby >>62064838why hasn't Bitcoin been pumping off the petri-dollar weakening?
>>62064847The numbers, Mason...
>>62064828Fuck yea!
>Iran is now accepting bitfarts at hormussy checkpointsHere we fucking goooo
>>62064852Petrobitcoin was on my 2026 bingo btw.
NEW: An Iranian source tells Reuters that no talks have been conducted through mediators for a temporary ceasefire.
>>62064835This it would have been way funnier if the baby deer attacked the other deer at the end
>>62064854>>62064852I've been losing money on MSTR bull spreads regularly in anticipation of this
Reminder that the worst preforming years in the stock market have historically all had terrific Easter week returns2026 is looking like... um well let's see tomorrow
>>62064856so who the heck keeps calling potus saying they are desperate for a deal every day, tell me that...
>>62064861Keep up the analytics anon. I like them.
>>62064538>>Yes, and it's all priced in and the market knows everythingokay smart money, when's the bottom? I have 300k i need to invest
>>62064861>dotcom crash>2008ITS FUCKING OVER SELL IT ALLLLLL AAAHHHHHHHH PINK WOJAK
>>62064861statistically insignificant though, no?
>>62064863My guess would be that he's in contact with Artesh rather than the IRGC. They agree to split the strait 50/50 and pull back to control Tehran while USA handles the IRGC near the strait. You end up with a situation similar to Egypt.
>>62064863The hazing never stops.
>>62064867SOMETIME BETWEEN NOW AND THE MIDDLE OF 2027. GOOD LUCK. HOPE YOU LIKE DOLLER COST AVERAGING BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, LIKE SMART MONEY DOESKEK
>>62064860plz stop, it's about to blowt. IBIT 10p holder>>62064864second
>>62064861but it also shows the by far best performing Easter had a ~16% annual return. this doesn't seem to be an indicator of anything
alright, what if we BOUGHT the strait from iran? toss iran a few billion and give them toll-exemptions, then we charge passing ships a million or two for access to the strait, everyone wins. iran gets to say they beat america, trump gets to put his name on the most important strait in the world, we end up profiting long-term from tolling the strait, and the gulf countries continue to be protected, at a slightly higher cost.
>Trump: We can't take care of daycare. We're a big country. We're fighting wars. It's not possible for us to take care of daycare, Medicaid, Medicare, all these things.https://x.com/factpostnews/status/2039444784083771629
>>62064877you need to BOUGHT some voo shares and stop thinking about anything related to current events and financial markets, this isnt for you
>>62064876... were you even alive in 2020?
The fed fears the physical Oil stacker, not the pussy bitch that buys worthless rocks
>>62064878Fucking hypocrites and zionist traitors. Long oil, short tech.
>>62064884average /smgger/ has barrels of crude stacked to the ceiling of their 1 bedroom apartment, and deep inside they are sitting on the floor with their thinkpad
>>62064875blow up or down ARTEMIS LAUNCHhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eMVaWoJtE0
>>62064870I'm open to the cluster of crisis years being Easter outpreformers being a coincidence, but I would then call it a pretty big coincidence
>>62064883m8 you're not going to get me underage b& for one I'm not and also I know how to clear cookies and change ips I wasn't born yesterday
>>62064874okay. So invest 1k per day? I can do that
spess in 10 minutes
what are ya'll talking about
I how do I get Claude to vibetrade for me?
>>62064899honestly yeah probably if you plan to invest for decades, maybe 500 a day just to be sure you get though the bottom and are dcaing on the other side too
>>62064892petrotetherdollar
>>62064892sounds like something the marines need to investigate
>>62064892Can you pay with altcoins?
>>62064896far too data points for it to be statistically significant
>>62064892>stablecoinsRetarded if so because they're centrally controlled from US and their funds can just be frozen. That happened many times already. Bitcoin and XMR exist for a reason
>>62064877The reason the middle east is so fucked (besides isreal) is white people build everything of value and brown socialists demand it for free. Suez crises was becuase Egypt could not honor 20 more years of British tolls for building it. Iran is litterally becuase they refused to give BP anything after building there oil industry. It would not end well. India and Brazil brag about how they steal US medicine IP. Whites build, browns deserve it becuase colonialism we were kangz.
WARS CANCELLED!!!!!
>>62064878So no ground operation announcement. Maybe a small pump again tomorrow into Easter weekend then the operation starts? At least not a dump tomorrow?
anybody else catch this this morning? this is actually fucking nuts. extremely bullish for the fed honestly, finally acknowledging how retarded their in house modeling is. in the long run this might completely redress powell's dogshit track record
>>62064902>Claude vibetrade for me. make no mistakes!
>>62064911far too what? The SPX data I have goes back to 1927. I can't make up more years that don't exist.
>>62064892>1$
HE JUST SAID HE'S NATIONALIZING MICRON OOOOOOOOOOOOO
nationalize tiktok thots and give me 3, now
>>62064928you wouldn't no what to do with them
>>62064923>I can't make up more years that don't exist.That doesn't mean you can draw whatever conclusions you want from limited data and that them as anything more than spurious correlations.
>>620649199 ET
Speech tonight confirmed to NOT be ground invasion related. Effect on market tomorrow faggots?https://x.com/RT_com/status/2039454869178724829?s=20
>>62064930how hard could it be to feed someone into a woodchipper?
>>62064926?
>>62064930theyd dance around and id jack off, same as it ever was
>>62064936Haha April Fools....
>>62064930SEX
>>62064930Mario tennis 64 baby!
>>62064923I also wonder if it's related to the old adage 'sell in may, then go away'. Anyway, I wouldn't put any stock in it personally. But cool analysis nonetheless
>>62064931Read what I posted. I didn't draw any conclusions. Sounds like you did though. Want to share what you think?
Go down you dumb faggot stock market
>>62064940CHICKEN AND WANIGISH
5 MINUTES TO LAUNCHCam on boeing
>>62064931correlation is cause, cage did all that
>>62064836should've invested in diapers like that one anon
>trump announces that weve won the war>iran is begging for a ceasewire, we've obliderated their military assets>that our allies pussied out and that we will be leaving in two weeks>trump declares peace in the middle east>we start bombing iran next year after the midterms
>>62064950is it boeing really? I wouldn't go
>>62064891downpicrel is last year when the convertible debt was starting to be dumped onto retail baggies after gamma traders were done harvesting vol. now they have the preffered shenanigans. you can grab AGNC (real) for 14% or STRC (ponzi) for 11.5%. they'll have to eventually pay 20% to attract new capital and burn all that cash they raised to keep it at 100. this has become EXTREMELY OBVIOUS to everyone watching. next leg down on MSTR will not stop until single digits
>>62064952i invest directly into my diapers
He's going to complain about Europe and birthright citizenship. Then 45 minutes of contradicting himself and nothing will be learned.
>moon mission coinciding with stocks mooningfucking masons
>>62064945>implying Lol, ok whatever anon. I already shared my thoughts - it's meaningless as it's statistically insignificant, but it's fun chitchat.
>>62064826how did you get my grok imagine prompts?
>>62064907>dcaing on the other side toowhat do you mean? entering short positions?
>>62064956oh, no you're wrong sorry. Artemis is launching
>>62064961fits nicely with the purim war and the upcoming passover war crimesalso SPY went into Friday 13th at 666
OH MY GOSH AN ARTEMIS 2 JUST FLEW OVER MY APARTMENT
We getting a black dude to see the dark side of the moon for the first time ever and I guarantee you he's got a KMB brand depends on.LONG KMB WE GOT INTERDIMENSIONAL BLACK DIAPER DUDES
who's going to be fucking who on the ship?
>>62064966is bitcoin onboard?
some reason I think diaper anon is faggler
>>62064976Donald Trump is and he's pro bitcoin
>TTP>wasn't a panicanbeing rewarded feels so good bros
>>62064978We're actually neighbors, but my mom won't let me hang out with him anymore after he tried to take my diaper off to suck my penis
>>62064788Baggie baggie, oily euro baggie
Trump speech
>>62064962>funyeah that is what I was saying
>>62064985stfu annoying ass fat yankoid
>>62064836>just lying down and accidentally squeezed a wrong gas and turned into wet crap that's a mess in my shorts and on legs. now I have to sit down spray wipe take a shower and change under clothesif you were paying attention to the technicals, you would have noticed a short interest spike right next to your bottomclassic bottom signalbetter luck next time I guessinvest in natgas futures, you know, just for insurance purposes. never know what might happenstay safe brotha
>>62064986>a few more weeks>withdraw from NATOoh wow, my puts better print. I earned this
>>62064974all of them
>>62064986>yeah so it’s pretty much done basically>the most dominant military victory anyone’s ever seen
>>62064988>I'm open to the cluster of crisis years being Easter outpreformers being a coincidence, but I would then call it a pretty big coincidence
>>62064959same even though it's always dumping
>>62064861so interesting that good easter week returns correlate to bad annual returns2.69 looks like it's getting into the danger zone, but still pretty close to the rest of the lower numbers in terms of absolute valuelooks like above 3.5 is bad, and under 2 is good
>>62064965you want to be adding through the bottom and continuing to add as the market starts to go back up after the bottom ideallyitd be really bad if you got all your money in a few months too early and then you had to eat the final flushout
>>62064986>>620649922 more weeks to flatten iran
I had 10 piece mcnuggets and ended up shitting myself in bed and want to sue donalds over this shit
>>62064986Lol I knew it, seethe at Europe and blah blah
>theyre showing a CGI spaceship now its over whole crew is dead
>>62064984niggas really out there crippin in diapers
>finally catch a slight drop in SNDK during the tech revival>during the dump
>>62065004americans have Europe rent free in their heads, it's so sad
>>62064986>anon did I ever tell you about that one time I defeated Iran.
>>62064951i'm about ot watch Lord of War. should i wear floaties? my neighbor has a pool and it's raining
>>62064892>stablecoinspetro dollar?nahnow we petro-crypto-dollarsounds cooler, and more sci fi. I like it
>>62065000Oh i see what you mean yeah.
>>62065014When I buy grey market stuff from china they usually want payment in USDC
>>62064931there's a correlation between people drown and nic cage movies?OMG BAN HIM FROM HOLLYWOOD!!and we need to investigate the POOL stock. something's fishy about the way they do business. Probably!
are we ready for oil baggies and bobos to get absolutely blasted as spy hits 670 tomorrow!
>>62065019New Trump Truth just dropped.
>>62064951>correlation is cause, cage did all thatTrue!He must be stopped>>62064954>>trump announces that weve won the war>>iran is begging for a ceasewire, we've obliderated their military assets>>that our allies pussied out and that we will be leaving in two weeks>>trump declares peace in the middle east>>we start bombing iran next year after the midtermsalso trueand kek at the last part
>>62064989Baggie baggie out of gas faggy
monero is the only crypto that has a real world use case
>>62064994>>yeah so it’s pretty much done basicallyall the way done, basicallytotally finished, just aboutwe are DONE with them and they are FINISHED, more or lessjust a wee bit more bombing
Trump just returned America to the moon and you still doubt him?
>>62065025Oh really how many monreo in can be printed and are in existence
>>62065003>I had 10 piece mcnuggets and ended up shitting myself in bed and want to sue donalds over this shitshoulda paid attention to the short interest spike in bedsnever gonna make it, not gonna liefor real, for real
>>62065025>checks moneroholy fucking shit it's making higher lows
MOON MISSION FAILED
>>62065031Ys
moon missions? in this economy?
>>62064861so a small red tomorrow to save the year?big green and its over?i will go all in on the year as a result of this
FUCKKK MY MOTHER TOLD ME BOOTS ON THE GROUND. WHY DIDNT SHE TELL ME EARLIER SO I CAN INVERSE HER AND I GO ALL IN ON SPY CALLS REEEE
Less than 7 minutes until the next rocket disaster
two three weeks of marines is more than enough to open the hormuz
>>62065042>FUCKKK MY MOTHER TOLD ME BOOTS ON THE GROUND. WHY DIDNT SHE TELL ME EARLIER SO I CAN INVERSE HER AND I GO ALL IN ON SPY CALLS REEEEclassic contrarian indicatorthe mother short interest spike. most effective with short mothers who short, tall mothers though? Statistically insignificantthen you have the tall mother short. Classic indicator
>>62065037>Billions for space>Pennies for assistance with my 72m 14% APR Super Duty® F-350® King Ranch® Truck loan
did i missed the big dipper or was i correct in not trusting trump lies to manipulate the market? nothing have fundamentally changed with iran. i just have a feeling he's going to escalate because the market going to close for 3 days.
oh wow ircg just flew over my house begging for a ceasefire
how many trumpcoins gets you safely through the strait?
>>62065051Why do Iranian officials all look like zesty versions of Bad Bunny?
Why is this a big deal if it's just the moon...
The longer weekend definitely is going to be used for this war.
>>62065053niggers are niggers bro, simple
So did /biz/ get any board-specific captchas? I only so the usual ones.
Thread themehttps://youtu.be/Vb3IMTJjzfo?si=65aUphmqUNH7g0fd
>>62065059
>>62065020war is escalating tonight with trump's speechtomorrow blood redvictory declaration monday morning an hour before the market opens
whats a captcha?
THEY DID ITUSA USA USAGOLDEN AGE BEGINS TODAY
TODAY WE ARE CANCELING THE BEAR
Artemis it will show the new regime in iran we have won today and the need to beg for surrender
Oh lord I’m still oiling
>>62065065they must be trying to harvest only the most autistic incel humans in existence with the new captchas
>>62065037It's fake and gay so they don't have to spend much anyway
BIG TECH BIG OIL ALLIANCE
rocket launch successwe did it reddit!
did trump speak yetmarket go down so I don't feel dumb pleasetyfyattm
