Is it normal for people to ask for pictures and immediately leave after?Or is this another Switzerland specialty where everybody hates socializing?OR is it because I'm male?How do you even make friends at a con?I went to a convention as Chainsaw Man last October and while over 20 people asked me for a pic, nobody actually stuck around or even made an attempt at small talk. I was hoping to meet people. There's another convention coming up next month and I'm not sure if I wanna go get photographed and go back home all alone with no new contacts or friends again.
That's what I usually do. It's because:-I usually don't want to take up too much of their time in case they want to look around to buy things or go to panels or meet their celebrities, etc.-There are other people waiting to take their pic-They're with their friends who want to go to other places-I'm shy as fuck
This one always gets me. I usually make some quick chat about the fandom, where’d they come from, know any parties going on later? And then I dip cause I don’t want to be overbearing or keep them from anything. If they wanna keep hanging and chatting though then I’ll game if they seem like someone I’d like to hang with. Any femanons have advice on where the line is between overbearing or not?
I'm 30s female, went to cons just a few years ago.The problem with anime cons is that a lot of people are shy or socially awkward. Like another anon mentioned when I'm talking to someone I don't know I don't want to take up too much of their time.It's completely normal for people to take pictures, say their thanks, say their goodbyes and leave. You might exchange contact information before leaving though. Sometimes when the person I took pics of on day 1 sees me on day 2 they might come up to me and talk or ask to go do something together. Small talk doesn't make people hang around you for long. A lot of con people aren't interested in small talk. Talking about their cosplay, or about an anime that's playing, or about the subject of a workshop is what usually works for me.Example: I was attending a free worbla workshop and got to chatting with the guy next to me about star trek. He wanted to make a bat-leth (or however you spell that). We had good conversational energy so we exchanged contact info. This other time I met a pair of women in their early 20s who wanted to rope me into the tiger and bunny fandom. They were really enthusiastic and we had a great time talking so they invited me to go drinking with them. We eventually walked back to the hotel together late at night giggling our asses off and exchanged contact info before going to sleep.I was talking to a cosplayer about her cosplay after taking pictures, and she invited me to have lunch with her and what turned out to be a pre existing friend group. They were planning what to do after lunch and invited me along. I spent the rest of the day with them and got their contact info.I think being female helps with talking to strangers at cons. Nobody suspects me of approaching someone for sexual reasons.I try to talk to both men and women.
>>10908990Yeah that's usually how it goes, people like your cosplay and just want a photo. Your cosplay was probably pretty good btw if 20+ people asked.If you want new contacts/friends, I suggest you go the fandom meets. If you're cosplaying Chainsaw Man again, go to the CSM meet-up. There's usually group photo opportunities and times in between for chat.
>>10908990I usually match energy levels.>ask for pic>yeah sure! who's your fav character from {fandom they're cosplaying}?>start talking about fandomvs>ask for pic>they nod without saying anything>take pic, say thanks and walk away
>>10908990very often, I'm seeing impressive cosplayers I want to take pictures of/with while i'm on my way somewhere. It's one thing to be a specific meetup and chat with people and another to flag down a king harkinian cosplayer while they're on the crosswalk, pic relatedI guess mostly I don't want to take up too much of their time or don't have much time myself. I'll take your plight into consideration and try to converse more this year
>>10909000So asking around for parties is cool?
>>10909113Context is everything. You can already gauge the party types more easily just by waiting till after dark, since many of the normalfags have already called it a day. I wouldn't be so direct, and also keep in mind that an adjoined / neighboring hotel is critical. If not, there probably aren't parties happening at all. Not good ones, anyway
>>10909120If there's an adjoined hotel can I assume there will be parties?
>>10909122It's all but guaranteed...unless you're at one with a reputation for itself. In that case, it's 100% certain
>>10908990>Be a human>Be in a shared human space>Other humans briefly interact with you, a human, for human reasons>Humans go on their way being human and not imposing on other humans>"BRO WTF!?"I mean why are you expecting otherwise?Do you stop and chat to a bus driver, or a check-out clerk? Have a heart to heart, or are you just making small talk and getting on with your business?Do people try and befriend the Mickey Mouse at Disneyland?Attend the events around the conventions. Karaoke nights, quizzes, parties, whatever. Also get better at talking to people.
>>10909150The average con goer isn't gonna talk to you for very long, whether it's cause they're busy or a nervous tismo, I'll give you that. But on the other hand...>Do people try and befriend the Mickey Mouse at Disneyland?This gives me the impression you think conventions aren't places for socializing (and I'll gladly admit if I'm wrong). If that is the case, though, I'm gonna have to hard disagree. You can get an insular yet public experience almost anywhere
>>10908990Literally me... Who did you cosplay as?
>>10908990Literally just get a couple drinks in you, go to a panel, dance, whatever & make small talk with the attendees. If you heard about a party somewhere mention it to them and say maybe you'll see them there. If you haven't, ask if they know of anything going on. It's also easiest to fall in with people doing cosplays from either the same franchise or similar sphere as you.I would also suggest joining a few discords related to the con prior to it happening. Don't rely on other anons or chl threads, that's a recipe for disaster.NOTE: This is easiest to do if you practice good hygiene and have at least one other person with you. Going it solo at a con is difficult so bring at least one person if you can. If you can't, try what I mentioned regardless.
>>10908990It’s important to quiz them to test their knowledge. If they don’t know the answers, just spit at them or laugh at them and berate them.
>>10909123Sweet, I'm going to a smallish con soon but it's at a hotel so I'm gonna get my hopes up.
>>10909194I just did my first con solo and had a great time, also I met up with people /here/ and also had a great time.
>>10909150This was typed by a woman who lewd cosplays for money.Cosplay is fun and for meeting people.
>>10909246Anon is saying that in their opinion certain other events are better for longer conversation. You can still wear your cosplay to those, it could be a conversation starter.And I agree that you shouldn't impose too much/too long on cosplayers whilst pics are being taken. You can talk to them but don't try to get into long conversations if they seem too busy or seem like they're not interested.
>>10909253>And I agree that you shouldn't impose too much/too long on cosplayers whilst pics are being taken. You can talk to them but don't try to get into long conversations if they seem too busy or seem like they're not interested.Agreed but that's anyone. If someone is visibly busy it might not be the best time to talk to them. Other than that feel free to talk to people. If they have to leave they'll say.
>>10908990i ask for pictures of people all the time and just leave after, and i expect the same when people ask of pictures of me.as for how to make friends- i walk up and ask for a picture. depending on how they react i gauge if theyre open to more conversation. if they ask for my picture right after i will suggest we take one together. that usually is a good indicator of how outgoing they are. usually i do better with females so maybe theyre attracted to me.it also helps that im almost always with my sister and female cousin, who admittedly, are both are 8-9/10 depending on the day, and their attractive friends group.
>>10909226Those are the best for meeting people to meet with at future cons or even just events if you're both locals. And don't be discouraged even if it looks like a small turnout>>10909246>This was typed by a woman>Cosplay is fun and for meeting peopleYes>woman who lewd cosplays for money.I sure hope not. The "stay away from others / me" types on here always reek of lardass, so they don't need to worry about anyone talking to them anyway
>>10909254I just wanted to spell it out because some people need reminding of the basics.
>>10909231You had a great time with them because you don't know them yet. You think you do, but you don't. And if they never turn on you it's only because you're so pathetic they don't perceive you as any kind of threat.
>>10909398Jesus you are jaded. Most people arent assholes man. Being respectful of other and most of the time they are to you. Some people don't but they're the minority.
>>10908996all of these
>>10909398I've met enough provably decent people here, and plenty of two-faced shitbags. Seems you're in the latter camp, so kindly neck yourself
>>10909445Trust me, I've met many of you over the course of years. My being jaded is based on giving you fuckers the benefit of the doubt too many times. This board unironically has the worst people of any board and I have met/become friends with people from /trv/, /k/, /fit/, /b/, hell even fucking /pol/ has more tolerable people.>>10909463My words are based on dealing with those two faced shitbags asshole. Ill rope myself right after you guzzle some bleach.
>>10908990just drink a few beers unironically
You WILL talk to strangers at cons and have funYou WILL find your girlfriend/boyfriend at cons and you WILL be happy
>>10910091I keep shooters with me and keep a constant low key buzz throughout the con I try to have one to two drinks an hour.
>>10910100based and Drukpilled
>>10910103>>10910100Based and same. I don't know how you can just be at a con and not be buzzed. And it makes everyone's cosplay and all the events and stuff so much more impactful. I sincerely wish everyone walked around buzzed like me, it would make the vibe so much more fun.
>>10910106I usually try to hand out shooters or hits off my weed pen, so many people decline it's kinda shocking.
>>10910106>I sincerely wish everyone walked around buzzed like meDo I have just the place for you then
>>10910109It sucks its in the middle of some flyover state.
>>10910111Still big and cool enough that I've met people who came in from overseas. But also digits
>>10910109Those swimsuits are so hot.
>>10910109Genuinely had not considered this since I don't really like waterparks but on second thought, the convention itself doesn't take place in a waterpark. Now I just need to get rich enough to drop 1000 bucks on a hotel room for two days.
>>10910119Get three friends and its $250
>>10910120>get friendsahah for sure anon I'll ask my friends I have those
>>10910106My tradition is to drink a 4loko at cons. Makes stumbling through lines more fun.
>>10910127realistically you will not get a room for this year's colossal. you have over a year's time to network and get yourself out there for 2025's colossal. go to cons, join local discords, be social and you can do it
>>10910127>>10910137I'll throw in on a room for 2025
>>10910137There’s also the fact that colossal rooms go fast. If you get one and post to colossal’s fb or discord that you have spots up for grabs in your room, I guarantee they will get filled. If you make a post like that though, make it clear IN the post that you aren’t just looking to fill spaces in the room, but you’re also looking for people to hang with at the con
>>10908990>How do you even make friends at a con?>I'm maleIME you don'tWomen will think you're hitting on themGuys are just there to get with womenWhy would you want to make friends there anyway
>>10908990My problem is, I don't know what to talk about...
>>10908990Yeah it's normal. Happens to me all the time. Most people just want the photo. Especially if you're in a high traffic area like a corridor or vendor hall where people are constantly on their way somewhere.Next time try breaking the ice by complimenting them and asking a question while you have their attention. Like "Thanks! I love your _, where did you get it?" The roll from there. If they're interested in talking they'll engage, if not they'll make an excuse and leave. It'll help if you have a friend with you as social proof that you're not a loner weirdo. Then you and your friend can team up with the new people you just met and hang out a while.This will work best at meets, interactive panels, etc, basically you want to be at places where people congregate and stay for a while rather than places where people are busy and just passing through. That way you're not interrupting their itinerary by trying to make friends. Avoid panels that are serious or presentation-focused though, that's like going to a movie on a first date. You're not actually going to talk to people and make friends if everyone is silently focused on a fucking powerpoint the whole time.
>>10912145Then you haven't seen enough anime. Seriously just talk about anime.
>>10908990might be a switzerland thing idk im an american
>>10908990lmao, I'm 36 yrs old, I just head straight through to the shopping stands to see if anyone is selling some interesting artbooks and then I fuck off. I'm at the age in where I can only appreciate cosplaying through the internet and silently so, less people think I'm a potential sexual predator.
>>10908990It's a paradox. If I saw a person- not even just a qt, literally anybody- out in public or at my job or whatever that was into anime, it would be extremely easy to start a conversation hit it offBut it in a con, literally everyone there is into it. So that means nobody (including you) is special or has some special insight. At that point it's back to square one.
>>10912035Then why do you go to a con?
>>10912957You're responding to ragebait.
It's just that most otaku have zero social skills. Good social skills convo:"Hi, are you cosplaying from Bum Fighter 2? I love your LunarCheek eyeliner, so few get it accurate!"" "Actually I'm from Devilman, but do the characters look that similar? What's Bum Fighter about, is that what you're dressed as? I'm intrigued."Bad convo:"Actually I'm from Devilman.""Oh ok, that sucks, bye."
Having just got back from a con where I made some really cool friends and got contact details, I will share what I think to be important considerations:>Best time to try and socialise is while waiting in lines or in seating areas between events. Any location/time where the other person has nothing better to do than talk to you is a good starting point (and that's okay). Trying to socialise with people who are walking the halls is silly because they're probably going somewhere.>Established friendgroups are too hard to break into alone. Stick to singles, couples, or isolated members of friendgroups that can introduce you later.>If the friendgroup doesn't reject you (but does not explicitely invite you) remember to consciously ask "Is it alright if I join you?" If they answer yes then you are no longer an awkward hanger-on and can focus on socialising within the group you just joined.>When walking around parts of a con you want to socialise in, adopt open body language (hands out of pockets - a natural armswing while walking will make you feel less uncomfortable). Try and have a slight smile on your face or at the very least a positive expression. Now is not the time to have RBF.>With the above in mind, scan your eyes across people as you walk and pay attention to those who make eye contact with you. If they smile back after a second or two you are allowed to go up to them and attempt socialising. Else, break eye contact and keep moving.If it works for a sperg like me then I hope it works for you too
>>10913023Huh, I avoided anything with a line at the con I went to over the weekend. Mostly because I don't really care to meet voice actors.
>>10908990>Is it normal for people to ask for pictures and immediately leave after?Yes. If they want to chat they will but usually they just want to take a pic and leave. If you want to chat you gotta be the one to engage, don't wait for them to.
>>10913023how do i keep a conversation going? if i ask a question they just give a quick answer and its awkward silence and if i ask another question it feels like im interrogating them
>>10913295you aren't going to get big conversations with everyone. if you don't click with a few questions and it naturally fizzles quickly, its okay to move on
>>10910100My friends and I walk around with a water bottle filled with vodka.
>>10913248That's why I also mentioned seating areas. "Hey, can I sit next to you?" is an easy way to start a chat with someone because if they say no you never had a chance of talking to them anyway.>>10913295Two things to remember:>You will get out what you put into a conversation>Most people love talking about themselvesAsk questions that can't be answered with yes/no. If they're giving short responses anyway, offer your own input on their answer before leading into a probing question for more detail. If you ask how long their cosplay took and they say six months, you could say>Wow, that's a long time. What part of it took the longest to do?Rinse and repeat. If they answer a question with something you disagree with e.g. liking Naruto, you bite your tongue on the judgement, acknolwedge the validity of their view, and mention your own as a preference rather than a superior position.After a bit of this you'll have some confidence with your rapport. Especially if they're asking you things too. Here's where you ask for socials - ideally for the purpose of scheduling a meetup the next day of the con - but that might not always be possible. Point is to at least make it clear you'd like to hang out with them at some point which is why you're asking for their info. If it's gone particuraly well you could ask to tag along with them then and there tooGanbare your best anon!
>>10912890what if I hate all popular anime?
>>10908990I am....LargeFatOldBaldingBrownVirile
>>10908990It's crazy how I wouldn't mind hooking up with cosplayers but their personalities are usually awful.
>>10909150>or a check-out clerk?This actually used to be standard practice. Back when I worked as a cashier during college, my managers would give me crap all the time about not chatting up the customers enough and instead just processing them as fast as possible.
Is something fucky here?
>>10909398What a negative view of human beings Strangers are just friends or rapists you haven't met yet. Figure out the ones you want around and you'll find yourself having a good time, if only for a night.
>>10909120>implying partying isn't normalfag behavior
>>10908990I'm wondering this too, I'm going to be at a con for a day and I'd like to meet people. People say that it's easy to socialize, but I don't know. My old friends are normies and my social muscles atrophied since the Pandemic.
I haven't watched a lot of anime in years but I'd like to go to a weeb con just because it sounds fun. A furry con too. So just do it.
>>10908990Speaking as a casual photographer, I lately feel awkward trying to do any kind of small talk, especially at a big con, because I don't want to hold them up. I will ask for contact info to see their stuff later or send them, what I have.
>>10913373i hate talking about myself why would people care about that
>>10908990went to con in aus cosplaying as a character from a "lesser known" game and i had about 6 people ask for photos (it was my first time cosplaying and my wig got in the way of everything, im also highly autistic and never thought this would happen) but no exchanges of socials happened, no conversations, it kinda sucked
>>10931035>a character from a "lesser known" gameand there's the problem. If you can't be forthcoming about a costume on an anonymous Latvian croquet forum, it probably means people also see you as cagey and not up for talking with them
>>10910138Hey anon I know your post is like 3 months old but if you're still here (or anyone else I guess), I might be down, 'cord is the_lizinator. I am the original person you replied to, sorry for not responding earlier I may have just autismed out
Hey, if you're looking to get some at a con, maybe don't be the kid with the lesbian porn meme shirt!>I'm a really direct guy, ya know?
Most people come with their friend groups so sure? I don't think it's weirdI'm make small talk about the cosplays and stuff but I won't butt in between five people
>>10931434gonna make
>>10931174No thanks anon, I'm not trans.
I would want to stick around and chat about the thing, but I'm so autistic and paranoid about being "THAT GUY" in any interaction, and just asking someone for a photo is scary so I tend to leave right after unless were both sitting down.
>>10910100Based I just predrink and use those slip on coke cola covers. It's easier at outdoor focused cons
>>10912035>Guys are just there to get with womenOnly those who are setting themselves up for disappointment. I'm here to drink with the boys
This kinda stuff has no definitive answer as it's a case by case basis and is heavily reliant on your social skills and ability to read people. Most people, yes are going to ask for a pic and leave because A. They are enjoying their con and have shit to do and/or B. They are assuming that of you and don't want to take too much of your timeSmall talk is possible yes, but meaningful small talk, in that moment, unlikely, if you take a pic together, I like to go "Do you have IG so you can send that to me, I'd like to see it' and have gotten a few IG's that wayBest place for consistent small talk is waiting on a panel line, but holy shit please understand when the other person is done with the conversation, I was in line for the dealer room one time and this girl started chatting with me, after a few minutes I was kinda done with the convo so I ended it, cut to this dude next to us that starts talking to her and would not shut the fuck up ever, her body language was screaming she didn't care but he wouldn't stop, never saw someone leave the scene as fast as she did once the dealer room opened for everyone, was funny as fuck. Don't be that guy.
>>10933066One thing *I* don't know how to deal with is if I run into a person I took pics with or made small talk with again, my brain like overloads and damn near short circuits, you aren't a stranger, but you aren't exactly a friend or even acquaintance, do I say hi, do I pretend not to see you? That shit fucks me up man
>>10908990I'm USAmerican and it's pretty normal. I've been on both ends of that action (and I'm not male). It's not always the best time or place to make small talk. I've been asked for pictures in the middle of browsing the dealer's hall or rushing to get to a panel; I don't mind stopping for the picture but I'd like to go back to what I was doing after.I've gone to cons alone and the best way to socialize is just by talking to those around you when you have downtime, whether they're in cosplay or not. Waiting in line for an event, chilling in a seating area to relax, etc. Ask about their cosplay if they're in one, make small talk about a recent panel or purchase, make a joke to break the ice.You can also try going to photoshoots/meetups if the thing you're cosplaying is having one. Yeah it's a lot of getting photographed, but in between photos you can socialize with the other cosplayers around you and ask for contacts.Some people are shy. Some people are awkward. Some people are worried about bothering YOU. If you want to make friends you have to be the first one to talk sometimes. Especially since a lot of people cosplay just to show off and aren't doing it to socialize.
>>10908990My man how green are you? Yeah that's the whole thing in cons. People treat it like a big Halloween party or like a living gallery. They take a picture of you and they move on because as many other anons here have said, they got stuff to do and/or they are aware they are bothering you and don't want to overstay their welcome. If you want to befriend them then stay and talk. Otherwise be happy they dip in and out of your life and be ready for the lines of people snapping pics and hopping out. Its fun knowing I won't get bogged down with every single person I encounter.
>>10908990I used to do that.
>>10934160Awesome advice, bot bro.
>>10908990I'm in the opposite boat as you dude, I never want to bother someone if they're headed somewhere so I just take the picture and leave. I thought about asking where someone was headed but then I realized that could come off as weird like I was going to follow them so then I just walked away.I did find a decent group to hang out with for a little during a cosplay rave thing but both of us were tired and I was with a sibling so I didn't think to ask if they wanted to go get drinks or something.Next time I'm going in armed with my nerdy co-worker girl and I'll see if we can find more cool fellas.
>>10933068cant go wrong with an acknowleding nod
For as much as I tell people about how convention demographics / dynamics change, I don't usually get to be on the receiving end of that. Just this last weekend>Walking around before almost anyone else has shown up. Guy I just met tells me>"Isn't it weird that they have so many artists vending? I figure these events are mostly men, and they probably won't buy it>Wait, what? Which cons have you been to before?>Just the big comic consI get nobody's born knowing but it's also why I never take the "It's over, only normalfags go anymore, it's all onlyfans thots, etc" griping seriously. Just means they don't go to smaller events that only locals are interested in
>>10908990>I went to a convention as Chainsaw Manno offence but maybe try doing a cosplay with more soul? cosplaying whatever popular normieslop anime will, like the surface level interest most of it's fans have, get you only surface level interactions
Try offering to buy alcohol to break the ice. It might help with the social experience.
>>10908990Go to the community photoshoots. People around there are all into the same anime/video game/whatever so it's easier to make conversation. It's harder when you have a more normie adjacent cosplay on, though.
>>10934291or, more likely, shills are lying on 4chan. [reddit space]I know, it's unthinkable. But sometimes, occasionally, against all reason...people lie on this very board. Can you believe that?
>>10934577Too many people say that in person too, for them to *all* be lying>It's ironicIt's really not. (And yes, I know some of them absolutely are, to get off on spreading misery)
>>10908990yes it is normal
>>10937472Here's lookin at you, bot bro.
>>10934587Theyre all lying. Some of them believe its true. But they only think that because they fell for a lie. Also, volume and repitition are not evidence of truth
>>10939391>Lies, given in earnest, which are still lies regardless of intentsSounds like we're in agreement, aside from maybe mild semantics. Regardless of intent, the world would be a much better place without misery porn everywhere
Should I give people my personal instagram if I am not a professional cosplayer? I feel like when other congoers ask me for contacts, they probably don’t want to see my travel pics in the mix.
>>10940074Nobody cares about that, and if it's such a big deal to you, why not just make a second account?
Yo I think I saw you. pop con? Nice cosplay
>>10908990i go to cons in uk and switzerland often, i am too autistic to know what to say or start a conversation after asking for a picture, even if the cosplay is really cool or the cosplayer seems nice. ive had a couple of quick conversations when the other person has started them but i usually panic and cut them short. i imagine this is the case for many others as well. i wish i was able to make more friends at cons, and im sure peoples behaviour in the past was nothing to do with you
>>10908990My way of socializing is a bit strange, i usually go to cons by train so most of the friends i've made at cons where people i've met in the train! But maybe it's because I go with friends so i don't get the chance to met other ppl at the con
>try and compliment someone>they just ignore me>walk away and dont talk to anyone else the whole conventiongreat advice assholes
>>10941060Pissy attitude's not gonna get you very far, if we're being desu with ourselves
