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>bf says he’ll take me to a lolita fashion store
>ask if it is a sweet lolita, classic lolita or gothic lolita fashion store
>he laughs and says it’s a nice store
>go with bf
>it’s kawaii fashion
>>
>>10917456
you forgot to pull out an illustrated diagram explaining what is sweet, what is classic and what is gothic
>>
at least your bf is nice enough to say he'll take you to a lolita store. My ex would never.

This is more like well intended family members giving you a hello kitty bag because they assume you'll like it and they can't tell the difference.
>>
>>10917461
Leave it to a woman to forget a step.
>>
>>10917456
So? You're really lucky to have a bf who offers to buy you stuff at all. Like >>10917506 said, my exes would never. Stingy bastards never offered to buy me a goddamn thing.
>>
>>10917831
My girlfriend buys me burando. Raise your standards.
>>
Why the fuck are you complaining anon? That’s so sweet your bf even thinks about you unlike most men. The fact he even had AN IDEA of what you liked says a lot and here you are on 4chan hating the fact he tried to search your fashion and what it’s called to make you happy. Lolita is like the first thing that comes up when doing generic search in Japanese cute fashion. Your man doesn’t deserve you, you don’t appreciate him for trying but go on here instead. Get real. Maybe you guys should actually talk about your interests and maybe he would know what’s it’s called instead of you just leeching for money. Come on now. This isn’t a good look or take, just makes you look like an asshole.
>>
>>10917831
>>10917900
Nayrt, the bf didn't say he would buy her anything, he said he'll take her to a lolita fashion store. I'm assuming that means they'll go in together and look at stuff.

That in itself is pretty great though. A lot of men would not even have come up with that idea on their own. And a lot of those who did would not have offered to go. I can imagine that to the average male mind the thought of spending 30 minutes or more in a lolita store would be like torture. I hope you reciprocate his effort by coming up with ideas to do together that he would really like.
>>
Moids are retarded what else is new
>>
>>10917456
this board is all the evidence I need to know that lolitas are actual demons
>>
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Nice
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>>10917868
Im not a dyke
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>>10917956
tragic for you. fucking men is embarassing.
>>
>>10917939

you're ignoring
>>10917506
>>10917831
>>10917900
>>10917901

but sure, CGL is more cunty than most lolita spaces.
>>
>>10917901
Eh gotta disagree with you there. A man taking you to a store without the intention of buying anything for you is not some high-effort action. Anyone can drag their gf to the mall and stand around with her... even teen boys do that.
>>
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>ask gf to put on something nice cuz we're going out to some place fancy
>she puts on lolita fashion
>>
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>>10920206
Fr though.
>"Babe! I found a store that sells all that stuff you like and I'm taking you there today!"
>gf gets all excited
>get to store
>"OMG honey this is so sweet of you!! Can I really get anything I want?"
>"Well sure babe, of course you can get as much as you want... you're the one paying for it after all. :)"
>>
>>10920735
No girl writes shit like this you larping moid
>>
>>10920735
no woman would write this, even as a troll.
>>
>>10920839
> “Well because I buy my gf gifs I don’t see why you guys are complaining!!!11!11!!”
Not everyone is as lucky as you. Your very privileged to understand jfashion and be able to afford the things you pay for.
>>
Stop dating men who hate you
Moids: stop dating women you hate
Simple as.
>>
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>send fiancee link to item I want on Mercari
>moments later get a PayPal notification of funds
>buy item
>???
>profit

I don’t see what the big deal is, whenever I don’t want to spend a lot of money on an item I make my fiancee pay for it. He is getting better at telling what brands are my main pieces. It’s very cute. Don’t settle for less.
>>
>>10920855
Nayrt, but privileged to understand jfashion? There's mountains of info about it available for free. Ntm if your girlfriend is into it and you pay any kind of attention to her interests you'll pick up the relevant stuff by observing and/or talking about it.
>>
>>10920839
Your girlfriend deserves better than someone who spends his time calling other women subhuman leeches and whores online because they said one completely inconsequential thing you don't agree with. That is if you aren't just lying.
>>
>>10920864
Where did you find him? I swear men are so goddamn cheap these days, they don't even wanna pay for dates, much less anything else.
>>
>>10920882
It's because you're dating terminally online men. Date cool dudes like me, and don't be annoying.

>>10920864
That's cute, but heads up—don't expect this to last once you're well into marriage. He'll feel used unless you do something just as based for him. You know, unless you're an online succubus and he's a pussy, in which case you'll just make him hollow. Just reciprocate that shit without it feeling forced. Enjoy marriage and be a great partner.

>>10920206
Not trying to change your mind, but maybe I can give ya some insight with what the fuck's up with us homies. Like, the reason why so many men are clueless is cause most men aren't experienced with relationships unless they're somewhat unique and shit. Even then, they still don't get a woman's perspective because we just aren't social in the same way you are. The ones that are? They spend more time with boys than girls over all. Add that with the fact we literally don't mature at the same rate as you, and it explains why we so dumb. Like, seriously, if you're dating someone who is roughly your age, """"nerdy"""", and doesn't have an original bone in his body in any capacity (let alone testosterone), just dip.

>>10920260
Rule of thumb: he should at least pay for 1-3 big things. Don't ever expect him to pay anywhere close to $1000. That's a lot to ask of anybody. If he spends that, it's probably on something he thinks will be important to you, so he'll pick it. Just hope you can educate him so it ain't shit. The only exception to all of this is if he buys cringey materialistic consoomer shit for himself that's as expensive as your hobby. In which case, stop dating """men""" who use discord.

>>10920882
>she doesn't know
Respectfully, you're having a woman moment. I encourage you to ponder why.

>>10920859
This.
>>
>>10920890
anon #3 here: that explains it. i've been married for too long and thought zoomer men were different, but maybe you're just too isolated. back when i was still dating, men would actually get upset if i tried to pick up the check for them, and i could always expect a gift or grand gesture for birthdays and holidays, so i wondered where that standard went.
>>
Notice how the manhater's posts weren't deleted. Only the backlash to her posts.
>>
>>10920890
>Don't ever expect him to pay anywhere close to $1000. That's a lot to ask of anybody.
I'll be honest, any single purchase north of $100 feels like a lot. If you're committed to each other that's great, but if you're still at the stage of your relationship where you're bitching about each other anonymously online I can understand being hesitant.
>>
>>10921081
i think it depends on your relationship's status (how long have you been together? are you dating, engaged, or married? do you live together?) and what your financial situations are. i wouldn't expect a boyfriend to buy you a brand new OP if you're casual or broke, but it'd be reasonable to expect a gift relevant to your interests now and then, and several brands release accessories, novelties, and lookbooks that are affordable enough and would still be thoughtful gifts for a lolita GF.

if it's a situation where you're constantly getting things for your bf and he never reciprocates, yeah, that's an issue, but on the other hand if it's a situation where one of you is the sole breadwinner, it can be unreasonable to ask too much on top of that.

tldr lolita is expensive, but i don't think any of the girls here are expecting to be treated to a full wardrobe. most girls just want you to pay attention to their interests. if you're poor, take her to look around and get her a pin or a mug or a $20 gift card or something. i promise she'll appreciate the gesture.
>>
>>10920961
/cgl/ - advice on how to date a paypig
>>
>>10917456
Provide a visual guide of lolita styles. I'm curious about the differences.

>>10921098
Find someone lonely and vulnerable. You don't have to be pretty and he or she doesn't have to be stupid. This is how cults ensnare smart people. They offer them affirmation and companionship instead of a matter they can examine and debate. Once they are hooked, the cult uses emotional manipulation to make them feel scared of abandonment and guilty to keep them compliant. The pissy dyke knows what she is doing. Always with the anger and accusations. She makes her gf think it is her fault and responds by buying stuff to appease her.
>>
>>10920877
I’m a female and there have been countless stories of lolitas ending up with shitty boyfriends who will literally say stuff like “stop wearing lolita or I’ll break up with you”. Please go back and lurk more.
>>
>>10921125
That's true, but it doesn't have anything to do with what I said. My point was that understanding jfashion is a choice that anyone with the ability to read and an internet connection can make if they want to. Please re-read my message and pay attention to the details and context.
>>
>>10917456
It’s the thought that counts
>>
>>10921125
Nayrt, but these stories are very common. Always comes up when there's a online discussion about how supportive or unsupportive your family, partner and friends are.
>>
>>10917456
What did you expect anon? Dunno where your are but lolita stores are basically nonexistent outside of japan
>>
>>10921358
We have a bunch of them all over California. Not sure about other states
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>>10921766
>a bunch
lol Cali has a bunch of the shit kawaii stores OP was talking about you larper.
>>
>new bf
>visits him for weekend
> "I have a surprise day for you anon-chan"
> go to Lolita stores and get two full coords as gifts
>Happy time

There are some men who do know what lolita is but you just need to find them
>>
>>10921929
But when a man likes lolita you people call him a creepy fetishist.
>>
>>10921929
I'm one of those, and I probably have a more refined taste than you do, still I won't buy lolita to my gf, mostly because I think you whores are mentally insane based on what you post here, so despite me loving the fashion, I don't want my girl touching that shit nest with a infinite lenght pole
>>
>>10921966
Best part is that the posts here are little different than what you would find on reddit or twitter.
Crazy bishes are universal.
>>
>>10921947
yes, because if a man likes lolita he is probably a fetishist. Best case scenario is that your bf is neutral about lolita (doesn't hate it, doesn't love it) but learns some stuff about it because it's your hobby.
>>
Why do you want your bf to know or care about lolita?
Do you get involved in his stupid moid interests?
>>
>>10922103
Then stfu about crying that men don't know about lolita.
>>
>>10922220
Btw I’m jerking off to Tyler when she was younger and hotter rn.
>>
>>10922222
very well deserved digits, you made me re-discover a lolita that I previously and very softly stalked in here, then I stopped cause I just wanted to see more of her without bothering her, thanks
>>
>>10922218
You know it's possible to know about something without it being a fetish or jack off material right?
>>
>>10922229
You who call any man slightly knowledgable in lolita a creep should know that.
>>
>>10922220
yeah see this is why no one wants to have sex with you. get well soon.
>>
>>10922218
I haven't, wtf mate
>>
>>10922234
Being sort of like "oh yeah, I think I heard about that. It's a wacky Japanese fashion isn't it?" Is a totally fine level of knowledge of lolita before you date the guy.
>>
>>10922234
You're talking to multiple people here.
>>
>>10921794
AP SF, BTSSB SF, H Naoto SF, Harajuku Hearts, Fairytale Boutique, and various others all carry lolita. Just admit you're an absolute retard who has never even step foot in California.
>>
>>10921947
Because you guys sexualize it, typically as a DDLG-related thing or wanting to have sex while the girl is wearing lolita, and that's gross. If men were capable of appreciating it with being sexual about it, we wouldn't say that.
>>
i wish my bf offered to do stuff i like with me
>>
>>10920882
It’s always hilarious to me how all these men want a trad wife type and are all into traditional gender roles but with the notable exception that he’s supposed to provide ALL the finances in that arrangement.

I’m Russian, so it’s especially funny when these type guys go looking for a bride in Eastern Europe because they’re “more traditional and honest women” then get blasted with reality when Russian women expect gifts, a high salary, and to be generally well taken care of. These guys are too poor for a trad wife, and too gross and demanding for a more modern relationship and just end up as uncle trash because they’re unwilling to apply logical consistency to their relationship interests.
>>
>>10922315
>If men were capable of appreciating it with being sexual about it, we wouldn't say that.
are you such a bot that you actually believe this, really?
>>
>>10922364
>I’m Russian
and you're talking shit, you come from the gold digger capital of the world, consider suicide
>>
>>10922375
Nta but I agree, if men weren't so fucking creepy and also centered how THEY feel about the fashion and how it relates to them and their attraction to it/us but rather were just appreciative of it they would be recieved a lot better.
>>10922376
Truth hurts doesn't it? If you want a trad wife you need to make trad wages
>>
>>10922467
look, just take a break, and re-evaluate your life choices, I can't help you and I'm not sure you can help yourself at this point either
>>
>>10922467
everyone wants a cosplay/lolita waifu but no one wants to deal with the maintenance that comes with that. being hot is expensive, and if these guys balk at the idea of buying brand for their girl, i can't help but wonder if they also cheap out on dates, or what they plan to do about engagement rings/wedding expenses.
>>
>>10922478
>everyone wants a cosplay/lolita waifu
well I want one, except with a brain transplant, lolita brain is corrupted, except for the nazilitas, those gotta be hella fine
>>
>>10917456
my bf is super supportive of my weirdo shit (lolita, jirai kei, etc.) but he's chinese and wearing jfash is p normal round those parts. that being said, he doesn't know a lot about lolita, but tbf he's a man. he can tell ugly shit from tasteful shit, and that's more than enough.

OP, appreciate his effort and if stuff like that bothers you, explain to him. I had to tell my bf that lolita requires the "cupcake shape"
>>
>>10922376
Nayrt, they don't see it as gold digging. To them gold digging is someone pretending to love a rich person in order to get access to the rich person's resources. Some people think Russian women are gold diggers since they're very blunt about it. A trad relationship is an honest exchange of resources. There's nothing sneaky about it, no-one is getting deceived.
A trad wife doesn't have paid work outside of the home, and she doesn't work from home either. She handles (nearly) all of the household duties, that (plus sex and birthing children) is what she contributes to the partnership. Since she doesn't have an income her partner will have to pay for both of their expenses. Not having an income puts her in a vulnerable position, so someone who wants to be her partner will have to prove he is financially stable and has enough money to support 2 or more people before they get married. That's why it's the norm for Russian women to expect that the man pays for everything on their dates.

If that sort of thing goes against your values then simply don't go looking for a trad wife. If you want a relationship where the burden of expenses are shared by both partners then there are plenty of women in the west willing to have a 50/50 relationship with you. But that means shared household duties as well.

A problem arises when some guys want to share expenses with their partner, but they want her to do all of the trad wife duties. They want it both ways. That just isn't possible so these guys will not find someone willing to even try that with them, so they end up alone, bitter and complain about gold diggers who wouldn't even be interested in them since they have no gold to dig.

I would gladly buy my gf lolita dresses if it made her happy, and I'm fully aware they can be 300-500$.
No one is getting taken advantage of, a healthy relationship always has reciprocation in some form.
>>
>>10922584
>A trad relationship is an honest exchange of resources. There's nothing sneaky about it, no-one is getting deceived.
damn son, nah, fuck you, you're married to the wallet, not the man, you can go right away and become a pump and dump for rich faggots that will buy you for the price of a fancy cocktail
>>
>>10920882
>>10917831
As one of those "cheap" men, if you expect me to pay for everything, I'm going to pay for as little as possible. If you seem to be making an effort to act like a partner rather than a child, like occasionally offering to pay for dinner when we're on a date, then I'll happily start paying for all sorts of things.

I'm not asking for a 50/50 split, I'd be happy with as little as 80/20, but if you're not willing to do even this much then I'm going to write you off as selfish and entitled. Paying for couple activities is putting effort into the relationship. It's taking the money (which you spent time earning) and saying
>i want to use my time to help us have a fun together
If you aren't willing to put in this kind of effort then odds are you're not willing to put effort into other areas of the relationship either and that's a recipe for inevitable breakup.

I want to see you making an effort to contribute. If I see that effort from you then I'll happily take on the majority but if there's no effort, you're not worth the time.
>t. learned from long experience
>>
>>10922590
You do realize this used to be the norm, right? That's why it's called a traditional relationship.
And what do you think will sustain a wife and kids? Love alone will not put bread on the table. Money matters.
Traditional relationships aren't loveless either, it just means that finances are part of the partner selection process and that once married the wife will become a stay at home wife and take care of the household and eventually children as well.

I don't know why you're so angry about this sort of relationship. No one is forcing you to be in one.
>>
>>10922596
you're so retarded that I refuse to read past your first sentence, you don't deserve to discuss with me
>>
>>10922593
nayrt, but did the people you reacted to say that they want the man to pay for everything? And did they say they would not reciprocate the effort/time/money their partner put in?

I've always been the generous one in relationships despite being the lower income partner. I have learned from that experience, so that if my partner isn't at least as generous as I am (be it financially or in other ways) then that's not a relationship I want to be in. They're showing they think I'm not worth the effort, and that this relationship isn't worth investing time, effort and money in. I absolutely detest people who are stingy in their relationships towards generous partners. These stingy people will gladly take everything you offer, expect things they're not doing for you (the hypocrisy, the audacity!) and ask for more.
If my partner has a lower income than I do, then I won't expect them to pay 50/50 since that would take a larger portion of their income compared to mine. Besides, there are lots of other ways to show your love to your partner. Care and consideration does not cost any money. The people who are stingy towards their partners are stingy not only with finances but also stingy with care and consideration.
If your experience is like mine I do understand, but I think there's also nothing wrong with saying you wished your partner valued you enough to gift you something once in a while at least.

My recent ex was worse than that. I gave him things I knew he wanted for his vintage collection and spent days looking around online for the exact items he was looking for in the exact color he wanted. Yet, this man has never given me anything even remotely lolita fashion related. All of his gifts to me (and there were few) were things HE wanted for himself or gifts that were intended to change me into a person he wanted me to be.
>>
>>10922597
if you read the first sentence then you get the point well enough imo.
>>
>>10922584
Only sane take in this thread. Not russian, but I am a stay at home wife. My spouse pays for most of my expenses, and even buys me lolita from time to time. However, I also handle all of the household chores. That can be a full time job, and we don't even have children yet. But both of us feel happy with the arrangement, since we're both putting in about equal work. I have some
savings of my own, but I try not to touch that since it's for emergencies.

If I was expected to contribute financially, I would definitely expect my spouse to start picking up household chores. Not just for fairness, but because if I had a big enough job/side hustle to contribute significantly, I wouldn't have time to get everything done. As a housewife, I have to get dishes, laundry, cleaning the floors and other surfaces, buying groceries, cooking dinner, managing finances and making sure the budget stays balanced (my spouse is awful at budgeting), caring for pets, and generally keeping the household from falling apart. I don't count sex because I enjoy that part. My spouse has seen what happens when I'm not there to do my part, too, and doesn't feel taken advantage of.

If you're splitting the chores up, then yeah, it's fair to expect to split the finances too. But if you want your wife to keep the house running solo, the least you can do is buy her some lolita.
>>
>>10922611
>My spouse pays for most of my expenses, and even buys me lolita from time to time. However, I also handle all of the household chores.
yeah, and these whores want to have "a lady for cleaning" aka, do nothing all day... "in return"
I say fuck them in their neet assholes
>>
>>10922612
where are these whores that say that in this thread?
>>
>>10922612
if you're going to continue trolling this thread and use it as a way to vent about women in general just get the fuck out.
>>
>>10922617
>>10922619
ure one of them, not fooling anyone
>>
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>>10922638
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>>10922651
exactly you try to bait and get expossed as the subhuman you really are, sorry, not sorry
>>
>>10922655
that was weak, try again.
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>>10922657
wak is your neet asshole at this point, get fucked
>>
>>10922486
Are you white? Where did you meet him? Chinese men seem to really enjoy spoiling their girls.

>>10922593
Wanting men to pay for everything all the time is different than wanting him to spoil us once in a while. Not the same thing. I don't expect a man to pay my rent or bills or other basic expenses, but decent dates and little gifts would be nice. Also women do most of the emotional labor and housework in relationships, if that's not enough effort for you idk what to say.
>>
>>10922659
you sound like a bot
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>>10922669
ironic
>>
>>10922314
> Fairytale Boutique
Fairytale boutique has been closed for years so I doubt you’ve been in cali lately either. It’s extremely rare that a dedicated Japanese fashion shop opens outside japan, there’s no point arguing that.
>>
>>10922674
I literally live in the bay area, bitch. Admit that you're a retard who has never been to California and you were wrong.
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>>10922706
idk man both you sluts sounds pretty retarded to me...
>>
>>10922478
Agreed. If you want a "hot" wife who does everything for you and doesnt work you need to pay for skincare, nails, makeup, hair, her fashion, a diet that keeps her healthy, etc. If you want kids with her expect to possibly pay for a tummy tuck and other childcare options so she can get some rest. On top of that if she's a cosplayer you're paying for that warbla.



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