There’s nothing better than a good spitroasting. Slow and steady let’s you savour the meat from both ends.
>be me>host a Halloween party/pig roast>everyone was saying oh yeah wow so excited for this pig roast >spend $450 roasting a whole ass pig for 30 people>everybody was too squeemish to actually eat the damn thingA little more light left me that day
>>20424072>whole pig>for 30 peopleare you feeding midgets lmao that’s not enough
>>20424076I fed myself and my dog
>>20424072Grim story, anon. I empathize.Next time take off the head.
>>20424072EVERYBODY? Really? I know a lot of people these days are disconnected from the process of how meat gets to them, but really every one of those 30 people were put off by seeing the whole animal?
>>20424096Literally everybodyIn fact I'd say serving it ruined the party, everyone was having a fun time until I served it and then people were visibly disgusted with the idea of eating itIt made me feel really uncomfortable
>>20424104you're not supposed to serve the same pig you put lipstick on
>>20424072>>20424104thought the plot twist was that you were dressed as a pig getting spitroastedshit story and shittier partygoers
>>20424104Sounds like a bunch of twats. Is it one of those snarky "frenemy" social groups (usually inhabited by at least one gay with a nasally voice)?
>>20424076It's about 5 pounds of meat for each person.
>>20424104i feel sorry that you have to hang around people like that a friend of mine put on a pig roast once and it was pretty gud
>>20424187thats not enough
>degen OP is completely ignoredshine on /ck/
>>20424365With drinks and sides ? Nigga how much do you weight ?
>>20424057How are you so accurately quoting your mother?Where you listening at the door last night?
>>20424072That is what happened with my family, except people pitched in like $20 each. The pig that we got looked like it died in fear, you could still see the terror in the little desiccated eyes, the tong was gray and outstretched and the gums barely clinging to the teeth. Nobody wanted to eat it, it was just sad looking.
>>20424057I had to check the image to see if it was wrapped in bacon.
>>20424057>let’s you savour the meat>let us you savour the meatRetard. I'm glad nobody responded to your homoerotic prompt.
>>20424104It's not your fault that the people were shocked that meat doesn't spawn out of nowhere in cute little packages wrapped in plastic
>>20424365Fat ass nigga
>>20424104Sounds like you need better friends.
>>20424072Was the head still on? I've been to parties with a whole-goat but the head was removed and people ate it.
>>20424403What thirdie country do you come from that animals aren't tazed before killing?
>>20424072Should've just started cutting it and bringing people food. Make the cunts eat it.
>>20424057>let’s her savour the meat from both endsftfy.
>>20424104sounds like you roasted it terribly and everybody didn't want trichinosis.
>>20424714What thirdie country do you come from that farm animals have parasites?
>>20424742>he doesn't know about porkwhat thirdie country do you come from where you don't have health class?
>>20424757You can eat raw pork in developed countries. Like I said, it is legally required that no farm animals and produce have parasites.Thirdies cannot fathom lmao (USA is thirdie then, if you can't there).https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mett
>>20424768>it is legally required that no farm animals and produce have parasitesSo when a few animals invariably get parasites anyway, they politely inform the parasites of the law, and the parasites just vacate the animal in an orderly fashion? What a time to be alive, in the era of law-abiding tapeworms!
>>20424806>Thirdies cannot fathomI called it: you literally cannot fathom how it works lmao.Damn thirdies, always amaze me how stupid they get.'while nowadays travelers habitually observe how prone the savage is to forgetfulness, how his mind, after the least exertion of memory, begins to wander and lose itself until finally he utters falsehood and nonsense from sheer exhaustion'.
>>20424827Sorry, not even that anon, no argument here... I was just tickled by the mental image of a line of tapeworms calmly exiting a pig's anus in little bowler hats, then getting on the parasite refugee ship to transport them to Sweden.
>>20424365hunter-gathering tribe ass nigga whose village hasent eaten a kill in a week.
>>20424827It's sad, parasite free meat raised and slaughtered under hygienic conditions is such an unfathomable luxury the thought of it drove him to insanity.
I live sucking cock while being railed.Oh not that type of splitrdaroasting? my bad..
>>20424669I'm not saying that it wasn't possibly killed that way, just the presentation of it was fucked up.
>>20424057This picture just made me an ovo-lacto vegetarian. The only thing I'll be spitroasting from now on is cabbage and hot vegan milfs. Good say, sir.
>>20424669Pigs are pretty smart. They figure out something's wrong long before it's their turn. They often start their panicked squealing a few kills before being led up to where they get stunned. Cow and sheep kills are much quieter affairs. They tend to just wait oblivously in line.
>>20425559It'll be a nice day when people finally figure out that the more intelligent an animal is, the better it tastes.
>>20425906Then you'd definitely taste awful.
>>20424104This sounds like a you-bait post. it has all of the stereotypes, you could have gone for the daily double and said a jewish friend got offended
>>20425916I know. :(
>>20424403>eating a thoroughly spooked piggerheh
>>20424367>>20424372>>20424535>>20425454
>>20426092You are going to die one day. Tick tock, tick tock.
>>20426105??? im not a woman wtf
>>20424104>>20424072Every hog roast I went to had a massive queue to stuff their faces. Everyone loves a bit of crackling. Everyone wants to bring the leftovers home. Sounds like you know a massive bunch of cunts.My period houses kitchen had it's cast iron range torn out for a shitty gas faux log burner. I'm putting a log grate and spit jack in just for roasts. It's the best way to cook meat.
>>20426148tiktok on the clock
>>20424057this shiny tortured cannibalized prize animal once while alive had the same intelligence and mental capacity as a dog or a 3 year old kid
>>20426092loli haet spitroast
>>20428565I would eat Dog or 3 year old kid if it was available. Ever seen a roasted dog? It looks delectable
>>20426092She's probably 18 by now.
>>20424072Is that really the normal price? I buy these giant slabs of shoulder that cost $20, I don't see how the whole thing would add up to $450 (especially given that they have to put less labor into it when it's whole).
>>20424057Had whole roasted hog on a few occasions. Most were celebrating Saint Michael's feast day at my parish that had a sizable Tongan community who would handle the pig. The other time was when I was in Thailand during my 28th birthday so I paid a bar 5000 baht (166 usd at the time) to throw a party and it featured a 20kg pig (spit roasted butterflied), Thai buffet, a cake, a bottle of shitty tequila and a bar fine. The pig was great.
>>20424365Do Americans really eat 5 lbs of meat on Halloween?
>>20429066You need to change it up between savory and sweet, it allows you to eat more candy https://youtu.be/Mff0MeKqZDA?si=8lZ5ReUVH-KDcZyH
>>20424104i went to a filipino gathering and everyone digged the fuck in. why are westerners such faggots.
>>20425454This made me hard
>>20424072Everyone i know would have run train on that hogSorry your friends are lame
