>Summer>Stop drinking coffee because it's summer>Poop gets impacted>Pooping is a boss battleWhat's /ck/'s approach?
>>20435761eat vegetables.
I pour coffee down my mouthhole in the winter, and I pour it down my poophole in the summer
Get your gross smelly soygoy cat pictures and shit discussion OFF MY FOOD BOARD
>>20435761Iced coffee
>>20435767This. Between vegetables and the fact that my favourite salty snack is popcorn, I get plenty of fiber in my diet.
>>20435761This what happened to me too once i stopped having my morning goffee. Never thought it was a thing anyone else had until I read your post
>>20435761get up at 4 AM. drink coffee earlier while it's still cool out
>>20436170I used to start my job later so always had time after my first coffee to take a poop before going to work and was regular as fuck. Since starting a new job I start earlier and have to sip coffee on way to work and its hit or miss now whether I actually go this day, tomorrow or any other day really. Plus I now do shift work so digestive stress is just part and parcel of this lifestyle I suppose.
how fat are you when you can’t enjoy a warm beverage when the weather is also warm
>>20436183Dude I have been pooping at work almost every day for years. I go to work, sip my coffee at my desk while pretending to read emails then spend 15-20 minutes on the toilet looking at my phone. Then I go to the field. Sometimes I even drive my work truck back home and shit there. If you're not getting paid to poop you need a new job.
>>20435773
>>20435761First time I heard anyone say they stop drinking coffee just because it's summer
>>20436236>Paid to poopPretty based. I cant relax enough to go at work.
>>20436236Imagine the highlight of your day being of shit lmao at this pajeet cope
>>20435761make iced coffee before going to bed, you throwback gorilla nigger, this is the most retarded complaint currently on this board
>>20436236It's true. I haven't pooped in my toilet in years I think. It's either at work or in a bag and then I throw it off my balcony; I piss out my balcony too.Anyways, in regards to coffee and summer. Someone told me once that hot coffee during a heatwave actually cools you down. I wouldn't know since I only drink Rockstar energy drinks all day long, but I swear the day doesn't start unless I have a cup of coffee with tons of cream. Has to be piping hot too. Like if anything happens before I've had that cup, it completely derails my day. My wife even knows not to even look at me until I've handed her the used K-cup.
>>20435768This. Coffee enemas are the best option. Preferably with cold brew, tried it with fresh pour over once and it hurt
fiber and pre/probiotics. that's easy for me cuz my diet revolves around dropping the most epic deuces whenever I can. also, I don't really drink alcohol cuz that fucks up my gut biome, and omit beef cuz it makes be constipated.
i've got the poop crayon effect. i hate it, never have a clean ass. time to buy a bidet. i'm afraid to strain real hard to push the last out and get a hernia again
>>20436323>Florida>customer comes in complaining about how hot it is and orders a coffeeI mean I get desert people drink hot drinks but they also wear long robes and hats
>>20435799it's really that simple. an unsweetened black iced coffee slaps on a hot summer day
>ctrl+f psyllum>0 resultsIt's truly a miracle food and I will keep evangelizing it. Use a flavored version like Metamucil if you're a pussy like me, but there are completely neutral versions too.
>>20436505>Metamucilenjoy your aspartame
>>20436506I use the "premium blend" that uses stevia just because it's completely sugar free, but there's not really anything wrong with aspartame anyway
>>20435761Have you tried slinking?
>>20436513>literally gives you cancer>no it’s okay I hate this board again
>>20436532I guarantee there are several things you consume or come in contact with every day that are more carcinogenic than aspartame
>>20436116Did you do anything to adjust or did it work out on its own? For me an apple seems to start a rumble in the jungle.>>20436358Do you put the to in the bag to or is there post waddle wiping in the bathroom?
>>20436546Yes interacting with you has been the most carcinogenic facet of my day
>>20436513you assumed that I put aspartame in a negative light because of the social implications and conventional sarcasm that is used here. all I wrote was enjoy your aspartame, you got defensive because you're a faggot and assumed that was an attack. go to sleep and don't wake up
>>20436594>i will do whatever it takes to win an argument Kek enjoy having no sex
>>20435761>>20434397
>>20436594>you assumed that I put aspartame in a negative light because of the social implications and conventional sarcasm that is used here.>all I wrote was enjoy your aspartame, you got defensive because you're a faggot and assumed that was an attack. go to sleep and don't wake upI didn't assume anything, you assumed that I used the version with aspartame and I clarified that I did not but that I didn't have a problem with aspartame either way
>>20435767EWWWW GROSS!
>>20436602>>20436621you assumed that I assumed that you assumed assuming assumptions
>>20436400You need to adjust your diet once I got back to eating clean and cutting, my crayon ass went away I don't think I use more than one set of toilet paper wipes
>>20436505Psyllium is all contaminated with lead
>>20436346Says more about the job than the employee, really.
>>20436594>i use X>>enjoy your Y faggot>my X doesn't have Y>>FUCK YOU REEEElol
>>20436400That went away for me once I started consuming more probiotics and fiber.
>>20435761A megadose of vitamin c will give you the runs, magnesium does the same thing at high doses.
Good thread
>>20436771Kys
>>20436505I only take pure psyllium husks. Usually around 3 to 4 tablespoons mixed with 400 mL of water. I mix it and down it so it's still liquid and drink another glass of water right after. My shits are made from heaven, I sometimes feel concave after I hit the toilet in the morning with all the shit that gets out. It's really miracle stuff.
>>20436346>>20436686lmao what's the problem? Are you guys seriously not allowed to use the bathroom at work?>>20436338It helps we have private single bathrooms in my office, if it were stalls I probably wouldn't be able to pull it off. I hate shitting in public bathrooms
>>20437339>shit goyWork my fields Rajesh
>>20437339Reading comprehension, anon. Only one "person" you quoted dislikes getting paid to shit.
>stop drinking coffee because it’s summergayest shit I ever heard
Cofeve is wonderful all times of the year
>>20437343get back to the cope cage wagie>>20437349I thought you were >implying that my job sucked so I spent all my time pooping which isn't really true, my job is pretty cool
>>20437362You are literally indian who taught you to speak English do not make the mistake of thinking you are human like us shitskin dalit
>>20437366I may work outside but I shit exclusively in toilets so not a pajeet, try a more clever insult please
>>20437373You’re obsession with work ethic and shit makes everyone think you’re pajeet now go back to your shit board subhuman >>>/r9k/
>>20437377Work ethic? You're the one seething that I dare to take work time to shit. I honestly don't know why you're so upset about my shitting habits, it's pretty weird but if it makes your day wage slaving away more satisfactory then that's cool. By the way I'm "working" right now I've made like $30 in the time I've been posting this morning
>>20436346>>20437343>>20437366>>20437377Stop using words if you don't know what they mean. You're trying too hard to fit in, and it's clear to everyone.
>>20437388>I’ve made like $30 in the time I've been posting this morningFucking kek top wagie pajeet cope>>20437392Disgusting samefagging by a hard working pajeet
>>20437388>I've made like $30 in the time I've been posting this morningAre you running a lemonade stand?
>>20437388Less posting and perhaps more cleaning toilets saar
>>20437388Shitting on company time is based as fuck. I "shit" for 15 mins every hour. One lady tried to complain and I pulled the IBS card. Now they can't do anything or else muh discrimination
>>20436346>>20437343>>20437366>>20437377>>20437434>Disgusting samefagging by a hard working pajeetYeah, I'll say.
>>20437467While you’re slaving away in the fields like a medieval peasant for no sex I’m sexually harassing your women and making more white single mothers than you can circumvent how does it feel being at the bottom of the beta male virgin ladder
>>20437476Except I'm not slaving anywhere, I'm shitting on company time and getting paid for it.I get that you creatures consider toilets some kind of punishment, but that's why everone else on the planet is repulsed by you.
>>20435761Make iced coffee from instant powder
Eat some prunes on your way out the door in the morning
>>20435761>Stop drinking coffee because it's summer
>>20435761eat oatmeal for breakfast.also, drink coffee. there's literally no reason not to.
>>20437169When do you drink it and when do you poop? At night after ur last meal and poop in the morning? Thats what ive been doing with metamucil pills
>>20439307I usually drink it in the evening and poop the next morning at around 7 like clockwork.
>>20440037Do you eat brekkie before ur morning poop or just coffee? I feel like i trigger it better with just coffee on empty
>>20435761Cold brew you simpleton
>>20436370>tried it with fresh pour over once and it hurtPlus it's really hard to find the Melitta #2 filters (the kind that fit in your asscrack).
>>20436621KISSUME?
>>20435761Not summer yet technically here it still gets get below 50 at night.
>>20436370Never understood those. Always seemed like something some hipster jackass would come up with as a practical joke.
>>20440145>Coffee enemaWTF it's real. I thought you guys were just memeing.
>>20440197
Drink cold brew and increase your fiber intake.
>>20435799>>20436413protip: cold brew
>>20437169>3-4 tablespoonsI only been adding 1/2 tsp to my shakes. kek, guess its why I dont really notice anything.
>>20436400>poop crayonNever heard of this term before.
>>20436605How do I make this waybread?
>>20442810This seems to be the sweet spot for me. Please keep in mind I drink around 800 ml of water with it. You need a good amount of water for the psyllium to swell in your stomach. If it's too little it might cause the opposite effect and cause a slight blockage.
>>20435761Sauerkraut.
>>20435761just ice your coffee baka
>>20435761Huh?
Magnesium supplements Don’t start out at a mega-dose like 500g
>>20435761taco bell but I ironicallyI think there must be some forbidden bacteria in there because I crave it once a month and I shit my brains out every timethe bell lives in my gut biome
>>20436358man with some of the cursed posts on this board I can never tell if you guys are being serious or not
>>20436400stop drinking or eat more fiber (bread or beans or like salad or some shit)
>>20435773kill yourself dogfucker
>>20435761coffee has nothing to do with shitting.
