It’s summertime and that means caprese
>>20627560CapreseGreekCesarthe holy trinity
>>20627560GRANDE!
>>20627560Fuck off you hipster piece of shit
>>20627560Worst attempt at caprese I have ever seen
>>20627676>t. first attempt at caprese i've seen
>>20627560Epic fail. Stick to your own bullshit culture. You are not Italian.
>>20627560That's exceptionally turgid looking
>>20627560Hey it's the salad from that one Japanese comic!
>>20627676How so?
>>20627560Where's the balsamic to drown out the disgusting flavor of tomato?
>>20627676did you recently re-acquire your vision?
>>20627829you need to buy real tomatos dude, not the watery, super huge kind
>>20627829i just learned all the balsamic in the store is fake and theres only like 2 real balsamic vinegar brands. i keep forgetting to try it
>>20628121Y-you're saying you never tried balsamic?
>>20627876>You don't like the flavor? You need to make it stronger!Why are tomatofags always like this?
>>20628143Do I even need to ask if you're retarded?
>>20627560Who wants that much cheese, though?
>>20628178I want my lactose intolerant wife to have this much cheese
>>20628183No you don't. When you are really lactose intolerant the cramping, sharp pains, feverish bullshit, dizziness, etc make you feel like you're dying. You don't want that for your wife. You're just a horny little brapfag who bought into the memet. the most lactose intolerant person on the four channel dot organization website
>>20628189please be a girl
>>20628183>>20628189There's almost no lactose in cheese.
>>20627560>Traditional food dish>only about 200 years oldHuh?
>>20628337You’re the only one that brought up its traditional Also 200 years is kind of a long time anyway
>>20628121I don't have this problem because Costco doesn't sell bunk balsamic (nor bunk olive oil)
all my basil has little holes from slugs :(
>>20628376What?200 years is a small timeframe euros love to brag how their countries span back thousands of years but funnily enough all their beliefs/traditions they hold today only came about 200 years ago.
>>20627685>I am a real italiano cuz i spread out the stufftough shit who cares
>>20627560Add some good meat and call it Calabrese or something
>>20628542Not that there is anything wrong with inventing strawmen in your head but Italy is less than 200 years old...
>>20627560Looks fine. Don't know what everyone is freaking out about.
>>20628596everyone is freaking out precisely because it looks good, welcome to /ck/
fat man's salad
>>20628614Keep in mind for am*ricans the definition of salad is boiled chicken meat/eggs/ham/potatoes with a shit ton of mayo
Replace the tomatoes with ketchup to massively improve this
>>20628618that's bad but it was always funny to me that caprese is considered "light" and a "salad" when it's a large amount of fatass cheese often covered in oil and served with bread. Just cause there's tomato in it doesn't mean it's light and it stretches the definition of a salad.
>>20628633well you aren't mean to eat a very small portion of itOP's pic could serve 2 or 3 people
>>20627560This is a fat persons salad
>>20627685>You are not Italian.Thank god. I'm glad I'm white instead.
>>20627685>only the true-a Italiana can-a put-a tomato wit-a mozzarella! Momamia!! don't you have a nursing home to die in? or a Muslim to whore your daughter out to?
All the dishes in this thread look lonely. like they need some crusty italian bread or grissini.
>>20629032... that's crusty buttery italian garlic bread
>>20627685Aside from being assembled and plated solely for a photo, under better lighting, and totally unseasoned, I'm not sure how this is supposed to be different
>>20629055Now that you mention it, it does look like it's from Martha Stewart zone and could use a bit of salt & pepper and maybe a squirt of lime juice,
>>20628618You're going to say all that, in a world where Salad Olivier exists? Let alone Coronation Chicken? The same world where America invented the Cobb and the Caesar?
>>20627560This is just and excuse to eat a pound of cheese at once
>>20628222What's it like to be this fucking stupid?
>>20628143supermarket tomatoes and heirloom tomatoes don't even have the same flavor
>>20628189When you are lactose intolerant it means you are a brownoid so you deserve it
>>20629168Keep buying into the memes and studies, kid
>>20628222Trips>>20629132No he's right but some fresh cheeses are packed with the whey which has lactose Most people who are lactose intolerant can have lactose in small to trace amounts as long as there's something else in their stomachThere's almost no lactose in cream so people who are lactose intolerant can usually substitute cream and water for milk
>>20627685ma statti zitto madonna santissima
>>20629100Those are pushing the established conventions of a salad. Nobody is arguing they are healthy either
>>20627685>uncooked mozarella with slices of a raw American fruit, some leaves and olive greasehttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/7Eszq_9AV6wShut up, Giuseppe. Americans do everything "Italian" better than you guys.
>>20627560is this the famous ratatouille?
>>20630943Teach me more about the intolerance I've had longer than you've been alive... Fucking idiot
>>20631153
>>20631164>>20630800Nope. Now post yours
>>20627560>It’s summertimewhat does that have to do with caprese.
>>20627685so I think one of the worst things about this board is the non-stop DO AMERICANS REALLY retardation, but as an American there is nothing, NOTHING more cringe about America than the fucking Italians who almost invariably base their fucking identity on being "Italian." real life grown ass men, completely unironically making it a point to remind anybody within earshot that they're "italian," i.e. their great great grandmother moved from there to New York and married a Puerto Rican or something. they actually use all these butchered Italian terms with complete seriousness, and go on and on about well, see, I'M Italian so I fucken blah blah blah. actual adult men do that shit, not joking. and they make all this shitty food like a goddamn meatball sub and honest to god do these dumbass Italian mannerisms and talk about the MOTHALAND, I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING. it's unreal. and there's seriously, still not joking, probably more than one of these mouth breathers reading this and thinking, "gee I knows, I hates when a gabbagool like that mouths off, see my FAWTHA came from Italy and that pisses off us REAL ITALIANOOOOOOOOS." it's mind blowing.
>>20631601what being a rootless mutt does to a mofo
>>20627560isnt this just pizza without the bread?
>>20631658This mutt bullshit againYou know we maintain ridiculous family records so that we can preserve our heritages, right? Most white Americans have a stronger ethnic background than most Euros
>>20631661desu it's all a cope and either over or undercompensation instead of genuine continuarion of heritage, often with "adaptations" which means processed shit, corn syrup, pesticides and antibiotics infused meats, artificial texture and taste boosters and preservatives. Fuck that shit I'd rather eat real bread than fake lobster.
>>20631179It's light and refreshing, and this is when people start harvesting their tomatoes and basil from their gardens.I like to make it into a sandwich with homemade sourdough and a roasted garlic spread, really kicks it up a notch
>>20631678Yeah, I usually spend a little more to get the good stuffOne of my favorite anecdotes was that Count Dankula came to the US and hung out with some Scottish-Americans and ended learning all-new things (to him) about Scottish history because it's suppressed in the UK and American Scots have long memories
>>20631687truth is migrants are delusional and all true history is eaither your nation being an oppressor or oppressed and both are shit and nobody should be proud and everyone should be ashamed.
>>20627560No bruschetta?
>>20628665Based lmao fuck italy
>>20627685OP's looks better.
>>20631658Do leafs really...?
>>20627560Looks fucking tasty
>>20632490they're based from time to time
>>20627676The shashliq skewer is missing.
