Whats the stupidest way you ever fucked up while cooking?
>>20832959I got me finger stuck in my bum
>>20832960That's quite the mistake, how did you manage to do that?
>>20832959I forgot to put water into my bowl of noodles and the microwave caught on fire.
>>20832976for how many hours did you microwave the noodles
>>20832959I dont get it. Is this supposed to be funny?
>>20833017the comics revolve around the fat guy being a retard, usually involving food or being lazy. the artist ran out of ideas for the last 3 panels.
>>20832959burned water trying to make rice once
>>20833007Just the regular 4 mins, but shit lit up quick.
>>20832959>cooking a casserole in oven in steel skillet>its done>take it out with a dish towel and put on stove>we were baby sitting neighbors daugther>shes playing around a lot>hmm I dont want her to hit the handle of the pan>pick up pan with bare ass hand and put it on the back burner>midway im thinking this was in the oven idiot>ouchmy skin felt sticky taking my hand off the handle then it hurt. i held a cold can in my hand for an entire day, but it actually didnt burn my hand as badly as I thought.
>>20833022>the artist ran out of ideas for the last 3 panels.He ran out of ideas for the first 9 pannels more like. Why publish an unfinished idea that is neither funny nor interesting in any way?
>come home at 03:00>I should eat something before I go to sleep>start boiling eggs>go to sleep>wake upahh nice black eggs, just the way I like them
>>20833053because people still give him attention (and more importantly, money) when he shits out unfinshed product
>>20832968mistake?
>>20833062ok but I'm gonna give this guy 20 cents less
>spend six hours cooking tonkotsu>set colander in the sink>pour tonkotsu down the drainI forgot to put a pot under the colander to catch the stock lmao
>>20832968I never should have listened to that little dutch boy down by the dike
>>20832959I used an earthenware pot on the stove thinking it would work like enameled cast iron. It exploded and a small shard of it cracked my glasses
>>20833175You leave Ellen DeGeneres out of it.
>>20832959I was baking chicken thighs in the oven and fucked up and used WAX paper instead of parchment paper. Can't un-fuck waxy chicken.Honorable mention- came to visit my dad once and his frozen pizza burned on the bottom- but he was determined to have it so he's taking slices of the pizza and sanding them to get the burnt crust bottoms off.
>>20833053hey man leave Ronnie alone
Set my stove on fire cooking tilapia at 2AM, burning both the stove, microwave above it, and the wall and cabinets surrounding it while I was drunk in the next room.
>Woke up late>didn't realise i woke up late>started doing my regular routine>craving some chicken so i just pan roasted some chicken thighs and potatoes>realised i was going to be late so i just sprinted out of the house>about halfway though my shift my brother calls me, telling me i almost burned the house down>wut.jpeg>"the chicken asshole, you forgot the chicken">thighs burnt to a crisp>smoke so thick you could cut it with a knifeThe worst part, furniture smelled like smoke for months. everyday i was reminded of my mistake
>>20833422What's it like to basically be a woman?
>>20833507The only woman with a daily reminder of her mistake is your mum, m8. That mistake is you.
>>20833587Pathetic
>>20833641That's what she said.
two instances i can think of>just learning how to cook for myself>heat oil on high trying to fry something in a very thin-bottomed stock pot because it was all I had>oil is way too hot>put whatever I was frying in>it catches on fire>scramble to cover it with a towel>flames die>throw it outor>try to make butter chicken>realize i don't have canned tomatoes just beefsteak >cook the chicken, puree the tomatoes>everything starts okay>realise i have no garam masala, no butter, no curry powder>get so defeated i throw it away and get taco bell insteadthats about the only time i've ever thrown food away mid-cooking but I still think about it. it was a good learning experience
>>20833396How is this funny?
>>20834303It's just making light of being a pathetic loser, sorry it must hit a little too close to home for you
>>20834323>>20834327>It's just making light of being a pathetic loserI know. Thats not what i asked. These are like attempts at jokes without having a punchline. Theyre not funny.And maybe you can try to converse without personal attack. Is the author your boyfriend and you are sucking his dick? Why defend a pathetic loser who dont even undetstand how jokes work.
>>20833396he got what was coming to him. after his online gf broke up with him he gave up on life. He's just accelerating his death nikocado style, he's got diabetes and liver disease and wont take any medication for it or stop eating. The guy is a recluse living off disability checkshe could've had it all, his comic had popularity most artists could only dream of and was maybe even on his way to getting syndicated but he threw it awayyou can root for someone but in this case I'd rather look away if he's chosen this path
>>20834327>>20834334Are these pictures supposed to be funny? Or to make me feel bad somehow? Cause they fail at both. Keep posting them though.
>>20834337Your iq must be room temperature
>>20834331lol wow, struck a nerve there huh
>>20834295i fried a jumbo chicken breast in 40 seconds, i just dumped it into fuck you hot oil, it bubbled so much it almost spilled, i tured the stove off and it quickly stopped bubbling and it was done
did not know what a skillet was and dumped a pound of linguine and tried to make carbonara on a pancake griddle
>>20834350can you stop? you are giving me a boner
>>20834331nta but not every comic is necessarily a joke. I think he is just going for a light hearted slice of life vibe. it's not meant to make you haha belly laugh, just relate and smile. I'm not a huge Ronnie fan but he was popular on 4chan some years ago so people will be quick to defend him. but seriously, if you can't understand the appeal of slice of life you might be autistic.
>>20834346Ironic. Maybe a question like "how is this funny" shouldnt result in you frothing at the mouth.>>20834350Its not an insult. Its an observation. Its not possible to find this funny unless you are also a loser neckbeard with low iq.
>>20834359You are having an absolute tantrum because some people like a popular webcomic
>>20834357>just relate and smileHaha how am i supposed to relate to a fat neckbeard whose entire shtick seems to be "i am a fat neckbeard - the end"? >but seriously, if you can't understand the appeal of slice of life you might be autistic.No i dont understand the appeal of his comics. A slice of life should still offer some interesting perspectiven on things. This is just 0 effort "look at me i am a loser hahaha" bullshit. How is that appealing?
>>20834370I guess i am a little annoyed yes. Its like that episode of seinfeld where they couldnt understand why a comic was supposed to be funny so elaine took it to the editor and force him to explain it to her and he finally admitted that he just like the cute cat drawingsthis is worse cause these is no cute cat. Its just a fat ugly neckbeard.
>>20834410>>20834418
Ronnie is my inner fat kid.
>>20834434Can you explain what you find appealing about this? I dont even understand whats going on. Why is he crying?
>>20834434same
>>20834442Kill yourself
>>20834447Haha there must be some deep psychological explaination here that i dont understand yet. Is it purely because you were fat as a kid and you relate to this comic somehow? I honestly dont understand how anybody find stuff like >>20834443 anything other than inane.
>>20832959used to include all the drippings from ground beef in my recipes like cottage pie and bolognese
>>20834458I'm interested in seeing how long your spergout can be kept up so I'll keep posting ronnie comics
Recently was making soup that starts out by cooking garlic in a pan to the point of charing it a bit. I made the mistake of chopping it up before realizing you're supposed to roast the bulb and remove it but by that point the charred bits were in the soup and i couldn't take them out and had to abandon it.
>>20834482Oh yeah and i barely had too little olive oil so i put in veg oil hoping the laws of the universe wouldn't notice and smoked my kitchen out on top of the garlic shit
>>20834480You might have it in your mind that i am about to have a heart attack because of anger but thats simply not the case. I just have nothing to do on the weekend so i just shitpost on 4chan.Take the classic examples of slice of life stories, ozu yasujiro's works. What are they about? A father wants his daughter to get married but the daughter feels guilty of leaving her father alone. Parents who want to be near their children but the children dont have any time for them. Slice of life right? But they still ask difficult questions and get us to think about uncomfortable topics. What are these comics even supposed to be? A kid plays with lego. Then he goes and plays video games. The end. Just wtf am i supposed to feel or think about reading this nonsense?
>>20834496tldr
>>20834501Its unfortunate because i think its an interesting topic. But you dont seem to want to engage in anyway or to explain your point of view. Its is a very close minded position im afraid.
>>20834501Keep posting, I'm enjoying the other guys extreme autism too
>>20834512Some people did explain why they found it amusing but you just freaked out and refused to see their point of view, so I'm just going to keep bugging you
>>20834519Its an argument. An argument goes back and forth many many times. You dont get to say "its a slice of life and if you dont like it youre autistic" and think that im just gonna leave it at that and accept what you have to say. >keep bugging youyou dont bug me. at all. I actually get to feel good about myself because im better than you. even though i think its kind of petty but hey, you dont really deserve any better.
>>20834531>you dont bug me. at all.lol and how many times have you posted about this now?
>>20834434For me it's the one about his dbz shirts because that shit hurts on a personal level
>>20834434I've never been fat but this is probably the only webcomic I've paid attention to.
>>20834458Probably cause he's overweight and the idea of wasting food is unheard of to him.
>>20832960cat*
Forgetting to zero the scale. Hlaving a recipie but not halving an ingredient This has happened more than once.
ITT autist obsessed with some reddit comic fighting with some autist retard who can't comprehend that different people like different things
>>20834591>Halving a recipe but not halving an ingredientEvery time
he's literally me
>>20834501Nice Huddsucker Proxy reference.
>dude gets gf>lose all passionhe should keep making comics
>>20834626lol
>>20832959to be fair lettuce and tomato with a sharp cheese makes a pretty solid sandwich
>>20834643it was an online girlfriend not an IRL one
>>20834700hold on, an asian and not even irl? baka ronnie
>>20834700>>20834706they broke after like 2 weeks, that comic is no longer relevant.also he has another comic he actually works but I don't remember the name.
>>20834646That's a CLT
>>20832959>is the superior webcomic in you’rer path
>>20834480This one is alright
>>20834714It was Garfield I think, something about an orange cat who hates mondays and loves spaghetti
>>20834822sike
>>20833053Ronnie is usually funny, this one is definitely one of his weakest ones
fucking cringe
>>20834876
I came home completely black out drunk one night and I ate the cat’s dry food instead of the Chex Mix. That wasn’t even rock bottom believe it or not.
>>20834323Anon, I'll put it in lefty speak so you get it. That comic is essentially just punching down. The person depicted is a loser, yes, but no comedy comes from the loser being punched unprovoked. That is just psychopath behavior. It's like punching puppies and strangling kittens and calling it a "joke". Only the people who delight in other's misery enjoy this type of "humor". It's not self-depreciating humor, nor is it slapstick either, where the buffoon deliberately walks into the shit himself, injuring himself. This is just mean spirited shitting on a character. >>20834337Any laughter you might have had from this comic is conditioned social laughter to ensure you maintain your status within the group doing the punching, lest you become the "loser" getting punched by the group. It's not actual laughter from something actually funny. Sorry to be the guy giving you a reality check.
>>20834845Based. Ahead of his time to make this in 2012
>>20834897Thanks for getting the thread back on track, king. One time I was drunk at my parents house and just pissed hard in the cats litterbox bc I didn't want to stumble all the way to the bathroom
>>20834897that's nothing, one time I went to dennys and got a grand slamwich
>>20834917I got super drunk at my parents house one night as a youth and I needed to shit really badly but I didn’t want one of them to get up and find me all fucked up in the one bathroom we all shared. I stumbled to the nearby park with a pocketful of toilet paper, shit in a bush, wiped my ass, stumbled back home and passed out. I also used to piss out the window all the time when drinking in my bedroom.
>>20834909Take your meds
>>20834909lel are you really still seething about this 4 hours later? move on bro
>>20832959Whats with the blonde guy , is he chewing rocks?
>>20834955Lmao i feel so guilty of that ive been cheating people out of their money without providing a service. I feel so guilty all i can do is apologize.Give back money?No lmao.
>>20834929>I also used to piss out the window all the time when drinking in my bedroom.I still do this to this very day
>>20834952Based again
>>20834531you’re one mad faggot
i made rice by boiling it in a big pot of water like pasta. it looked like this.
>>20834442He's crying because the othe kid threw all of his leftover icing into the trash. I'm not even fat, I'm a /fit/ long distance runner fag, but I was always the guy in my friend group who'd shamelessly finish other people's food if they weren't going to eat it. It's like the feeling you get when someone doesn't eat pizza crusts and you're still hungry but know it'd be rude to just take them
>>20835228how is this not funny? how can you possibly be "fascinated" that this comic exists?
>>20835148But most frosting and fondant in America is legitimately horrid and disgusting. They all have that same chemical-y aftertaste and many leave a bizarre, unnatural film behind in the mouth. Total. Frosting. Death.
>>20834418I'm fairly skinny and married and think whomp is pretty funny. Not quite as funny as you getting upset over it, but pretty funny.
>>20835460>I refuse to understand this joke because I personally don't like American frostingI don't like it either but I'm not so autistic that I can't immediately understand how a fictional child could have different preferences than me. Get some help.
>>20833053It's not funny but that's sort of the tradition of "funny paper" comicsGarfield, Marmaduke, Dennis the Menace, Peanuts, it's all dumb shit
>>20834501>that grin
>>20834850absolutely brutal
>>20834700>it was an online girlfriend not an IRL one>>20834714>they broke after like 2 weeksthat's actually quite sad. the poor fucker never gonna make it.
>>20835600I'm not that same guy who didn't get the joke, retard. I'm another guy who added to the conversation by saying that frosting is disgusting (because it is).>Get some help.You very much should, yes. It's there such a thing as a chromosomectomy? You badly need that extra one removed.
>>20835617I actually lol'd
all these comics fucking suck and that guy itt is right who says they are criminally unfunny, lacking in any interest or humour
>>20834955>three years ago>nothing sinceHe's dead, right?
>>20834955what a depressed little piss babyjust copy some Dilbert comics and make him like fast food
>>20835677>added to the conversation by saying that frosting is disgustingThanks for your valuable contribution to the discussion, retard
>>20835677>>20834434I agree with this. Cake on it's own is okay, but icing nasty. I do the same thing.
>>20835937You're welcome. : 3>>20835996It's just the factory made stuff. I make buttercream and Chantilly and so on myself and it's all delicious.
>>20833022>artist
>>20834539LolActually forget everything I've been saying This one is goodI get it
>>20836076I never eat factory made cake. Pretty much the only time I have it is at birthday parties for my wife's family and her mom always makes the icing. It's not bad for what it's supposed to be, I just think it's sickly sweet and gross. I don't tend to like very sweet things anyways.
>>20835602Marmaduke is about the forces of the Gods on humanity and I will not elaborate
>>20836160>sickly sweet and gross. I don't tend to like very sweet things anyways.Yeah, we're similar then, but my problem is that I'm not from America and frostings aren't nearly as sweet as the ones made by France, the UK it the US. And in the South, frostings aren't even used much
>>20832959Made stock, strained it into the sink.
>>20836216>strained it into the sinkI've done this more times than I'd like to admit
>>20836216>>20836218Moi aussi. See >>20833159
>>20835139You made risotto anon
>>20832976did this with oats. microwave smelled burnt for weeks despite cleaning multiple times
>>20835139That's called congee.
>>20834897What was your rockbottom alcoholicbro?
>>20836210I'm in Canada but my wife's mom grew up in England so her's is at least better that the pure sugar icings they seem to enjoy. To me a piece of nice fruit and some cheese or a bit of chocolate is the best desert.
>>20834787made me smile
>>20836359Eh, we eat fruit daily and after many meals but they're not dessert in my mind. In fact, our meal structure specifically refers to them as a separate course.I like American cakes just fine but their frostings can fuck right off.
>>20836546Ohh yeah I'm very aware that most people don't consider it desert, I just far rather an apple with a nice piece of cheese as a follow up to supper than pretty much any desert food out there.
>>20834787Comparing anything to nedroid is not fair
>>20832959Made pasta while drunk, fell asleep, woke up to my smoke alarm going off, all the water in the pan evaporated and the pasta on fireI am lucky to be alive
>>20832959
>>20834418You are retarded holy shit.
>>20835617These are some of the only webcomics that actually make me chuckle
>>20832960oi!
One time I microwaved a bag of sour patch kids to soften them up and they got so hot they melted through the bag. I took the bag out with a paper towel and ran it outside to the dumpster immediately, but my dorm still smelled like burnt plastic. I opened the window and left. I haven't had sour patch kids since (mostly because they're terrible for you) but I found it incredible that I managed to burn a bag of SOFT CANDY in the microwave.
>>20833384on the topic of frozen pizza- once mistook the top for the bottom of the pizza (was a weird brand where the cheese war very finely ground and also completely fucking stuck on there so the top and bottom looked way more alike than in any normal frozen pizza) and put it in upside-downit melted all over the oven
>>20834335SOMEONESAVERONNIE
I started chopping up vegetables for my mirepoix, then decided I'd heat up the oil so I could pour them in just as it got hot. I mis-timed it and the oil caught fire. I didn't have a fire blanker or an extinguisher, so I carried the pot outside and tossed dirt in.I'm a little more patient now.
>>20838024>it melted all over the ovenDo you not put the pizza on a tray?
>>20835617Ahh Koreans man
>>20838031it was a tray with holes
added too much shrimp paste to a batch of kimchi. Started smelling weird after a week and I threw it all out without even tasting it. 4litres total.
>>20837200Used to think the dream-within-a-dream thing was just a lazy trope but I've had it happen a few times myself now. Messes with your head for a long time.
>>20838065I used to feel the same way about people suddenly remembering repressed traumatic memories
>>20832959My chunky, non-dexterous fingers always somehow break the yolk when I crack an egg. It is extremely frustrating as the yolk is my favourite part.
>>20832959i was making prawn dumplings. I bought puff pastry from the shop and used that as the wrapping.
>>20832959Made some ground beef burger patties, cooked more than I could eat. I decided to add blue cheese on some of them and then left them in the oven overnight.Gave myself food poisoning the next day.I've never puked so much in my life. Water felt like a liquid blessing after that.
>>20838179Did you not own a fridge or something
>>20834335didn't 'cado lose weight recently?
>>20834841yuck.
>>20834952Now I see why this faggot comic is popular here!!
>>20834954Go back to /pol/ you fucking schizo piece of shit.
>>20838189I didn't think it would be an issue. I've left out cooked meat in the oven overnight before, never had an issue even when it was covered with sauce and dressings.Part of me wants to believe it was the melted blue cheese festering on top of the meat over the course of like 10 hours that gave the food poisoning.
>>20836746That means make them shit themselves. You evacuate buildings.
>>20838237Yeah, he's back to being a skeleton apparently. Don't worry though, he'll gain it all back in the next year or two.
>>20835602Peanuts was great, don't lump it in with the others.
>>20834954>anyone being cheap must be Jewish! Zoomers are hyper retarded
>>20838451>yes
>>20838493Ahh the ignorance of youth....
>>20838511Youth is wasted on the young.
Potato peeling my finger instead of the potato like an idiot. Get a first aid kit if you don't have one, trust me.
My food thread gets deleted while this welcoming thread and multiple viral marketing fast food threads stay up.Fuck this gay ass site
>>20838915What was your food thread about?
>>20838919Cramming
>>20833058You slept for 100 years. Those are century eggs.
>>20838919the mcchicken
>>20832959Last week I fucked up making taco spaghetti by forgetting to add extra broth while cooking the spaghetti. Ground turkey nearly burned, but came out very tender, but the noodles were undercooked.
I stuck a cup noodles in the microwave with no water, melted the Styrofoam. It smelled pretty bad.
>>20832959Would be a good sandwich if Americans buttered their sandwiches like everyone else in the world.
>>20832959As a kid I put sugar in the salt shaker cause i didnt know better and that mistake was discovered when mom made popcorn and dad got pissed off.
>>20841102how do you "make popcorn" is your mom a cornstalk
>>20840930>yummy, butter and lettuceYou things are abhorrent
>>20841109... you make by taking some dried corn kernels and heating them till they pop....
>>20840930It's already good. A tomato sandwich is a fantastic thing, a staple of late summer afternoons. A bit of mayo on each piece of bread, nice thick slices of tomato preferably just picked from the garden, a bit of lettuce or even better some basil leave and and some black pepper. It's heavenly and doesn't need bacon to be delicious.The point of the comic is that it's a tasty sandwich the guy is clearly enjoying but Ronnie feels heartbroken because the joke of the strip is that he's a fat whiny loser
>>20834955Stuff like this makes me happy that the lady who did "Hark, a Vagrant!" just ended it when she felt like it ran its course and moved on to other stuffDon't make some drama post or leave the comic hanging indefinitely, just move on if you're over it
>>20834442this is funny bait lmao
>>20834948This one made me kekAll the other ones : holy fucking cringe
when I was a kid my dad gave me a burger wrapped in tinfoil and told me to heat it up in the microwave. Didn't realize he also wanted me to take it out of the foil
>>20841607>the most unfunny and unoriginal one made kek
>>20834714>also he has another comic he actually works but I don't remember the name.huh. thought he just moderates/simps for some twitch ethot now.
>>20832959>Pass out drunk with rice on stove>wake up to dog barking>house is smoked outI still haven't gotten that pot cleaned
>>20840930Americans use the poor man's butter: Mayo. Some use miracle whip. Sinful
>>20834909>Anon, I'll put it in lefty speak so you get it. >That comic is essentially just punching down.>punching down on a white maleImpossible. The comic only works because Ronnie is a white male.
>>20838031Frozen pizzas are supposed to go directly on the oven rack.
>crack egg open>drop it in the bin>put shells in the batterHappened 2 distinct times already
i keep saying "dipshit" instead of "dishpit" and it's a common phrase at work
>>20832959first time i tried to make meat sauce i put the entire uncooked raw pound of ground beef directly into the sauce and stirred. it distintegrated and after i ate it i was sick for like 2 daysalso one time i forgot to put water in a beef and barley cambells condensed soup and cooked it and tried eating it anyway
>>20835139ive done that, and added a huge amount of powdered chicken boulliounit was like eating extremely salty oatmeal but it wasnt actually that bad
>be op>start thread about cooking>2 morons start fighting>leave>come back, someone is spamming comics>leave>couple of days go by>thread somehow still there>all replies are two sentences longwhy is there a time limit on deleting threads?
>makes an irrelevant post complaining about irrelevant postspoetry
whomp was so funny back in the day. sad to hear what happened to ronnie.
>>20835262>a day in the life of a DEI hire
>>20835262>2012 was 20 years agoWhere does the time go?
Tried to make a caramel sauce not too long ago, and stirred in the milk without letting it cool enough.Took me an hour to clean the stove, and the sauce split anyway.>>20842507He stopped updating it a couple years back, after his gf left.Either a therapist told him to stop focusing on negativity, or it was just too much for him.
>>20842060This is easily one of the top 10 worst /ck/ threads Ive ever seen. Even if by accident, its still kinda impressive.
We post /cock/? For me? It's dogisaga
>>20842726
Really not many of them are about food although there are a lot about fat people
>>20832959Tried to make a pan sauce at my parents place, but they only had cartons of easy spread butter instead of the real deal.Turns out there's a fuckload of emulsifiers in those things so I ended up with a meaty gum rather than a sauce lol
>>20841970Kek I swear I've almost done this multiple times
>>20832959Oh yeah, one time I was making a spicy pasta so I fried some chilis in oil first and maybe I burned them because everyone in the house started coughing from all the way upstairs. The spicy air just ravaged all of us
>>20842810Now I want to know what the fuck is Inside easy spread butter
>>20834442Throwing away the food represents rejection which is traumatic to the main character.
>>20832959Was drunk and decided to make hardboiled eggs...using the microwaveThe sound of 4 eggs exploding is something I'll never forget.
>>20832959>cooking up some spinach soup>add cream to make it richer>awwyiss.jpg>need something spicy... got pepper, chili flakes...>proceed to add tabasco sauce>acid breaks down cream into tiny curds/granules>mon visage
>>20832959I tried cooking a smash burger indoors
>>20832959why are the last 3 panels so shittily drawn
>>20842996wtf is a smash burger
>>20833396whomp peaked in 2013>>20834335what the fuck
>>20832959Accidentally used condensed milk instead of evaporated milk.
>>20834787Thanks for finally posting something funny. May the "hehe you're autistic" faggot end up exactly like his idol.
>>20842614>This is easily one of the top 10 worst /ck/ threads Ive ever seenYou mean this isn't a /co/ thread?
>>20844030it's been 4 days (!) and you're still seething that other people have a different sense of humor than youI'd say he's already won
>>20844030I don't want to sound like I'm supporting Ronnie or his one joke comic, but you actually found that funny???
>>20832959My Mother would chop up and saute 3x times the stuff she needed for an omelet, then try to put it all in anyway. Omelet wouldn't cook right, Why did she do it?
>>20844121she is a greedy little cunt, i do the same
>>20835602dennis the menace is the only one that is completely unpalatable because the main character just acts like a complete and utter cunt to everyone and wonders why he gets punished for it
>>20832959I was making puding, and accidentally put salt in instead of sugar.yeah
>>20833044>give hand burn>fix by giving hand frostbitebrilliant
>>20834442you are profoundly stupid and damnably autistic
>>20834645what a fag
>>20834850I don't need to be harassed like this.
>>20834335Why would you go on the internet and tell lies like that?
>>20837200I think about this one all the time funniest shit
>>20833044>heat oven to 500 degrees with cast iron in it>sear steak on stove>put in oven to finish>reach into oven and grab pan handle with wet kitchen towel>water turns to steam instantly and burns the fuck out of my handfeels bad, man. that smarted for a week and left me with gross blisters.
>>20833384>so he's taking slices of the pizza and sanding them to get the burnt crust bottoms off.I hope he wiped them off afterwards, or were you all eating grit?
>>20838030>I didn't have a fire blanker or an extinguisher,just use a lid m8e, works as well as a fire blanket
>>20838065I missed work once because i was dreaming, then "woke up", started to get ready for work, then woke up for real, but i thought it was just another dream so i immediately went back to sleep kek
>>20838768Knowledge is wasted on the old i say.
>>20841614to be fair you dad should have told you not to do that; not putting metal in the microwave isn't exactly inuitive
>>20843032it's where you take a burger and make it extremely thin by squeezing out all the juices in the pan while its cooking, leaving you with dry gray meat.
>>20834501There's no winning path in that puzzle.
>>20847243there absolutely is, turdburger
>>20847323The mouth cannot get to the Chocorbs without hitting a solid line.
>>20833017There is only one funny comic these days.
>>20847335upper lip, bottom left
>>20847243You are only supposed to find the path, the other paths don't block your path (think overpass on the road), but it just has to lead to the one you want.
>>20832959I used a cheap food processor to process dozens of dried chiles. The plastic part broke and I had to throw out the gallon of chili I made because there were pieces of sharp plastic among the beans and meat. I ate eggs and canned beans instead that day. The chili took me 3 hours perhaps.
>>20832959Cut the tip of my RH middle finger Burned my chest while pulling out a hot panHad a grease fire with olive oil Burned water when making macaroni.
>>20847335upper lip third panel
>>20847329Are you autistic by any chance?
>>20848120how did the plastic end up in the pot
>>20834539Literally me when someone recommends a movie. Yet to be proven wrong.
>>20848762Watch Two Mules For Sister Sara, it's okay.
>>20848815You think rockstar minds they ripped off john marston? Seems pretty blatant desu
>>20849279Every Clint western ripped off Marston, I don't know why they haven't sued either.
>>20848762You should watch all 11 seasons of will and grace, maybe that will cheer you up you downer!
>>20833007noodle blocks are SUPER combustible lmfao. iirc they're deep-fried is how they're prepared/preserved? that's why there's still so much fat in them despite being.. you know, flour and water and all
A few years ago I decided to microwave a frozen Pillsbury biscuit in my Advantium microwave because I was lazy and didn't want to wait for the oven to heat up for a single biscuit. I walked away and after a little bit I started smelling smoke from my kitchen so I ran in and well this was the result after about 3 minutes. It was so hot in the center that it actually melted the ridges on the plastic knife and tips on the plastic fork from just piercing it. I had to have the windows open for the whole day and blast the house with air freshener since it had a heavy burnt smell like a bunch chain smokers lived there for years.
>>20834539Kek me with vidya
>>20832960You too???
>>20848815She's cute.Wonder how old/dead she is by now.
>>2085058290 years old nowIs this looking good for a 90 year old? I've seen better but they might be the outliers. Dunno how the average 90 year old looks. Though just the fact that she's up and about is pretty good I guess.
>>20847701Oh okay.>>20848726No, just never played a maze game where the above condition is applied. Pinky promise.
>>20850632it bothers me that if i exist for long enough i will resemble something like that
>>20850582Shirley MacLain is just plain awesome on all fronts>>20850672Take comfort that if you do make it to that age, all your thoughts of how you look to others won't matter at all.
>>20833097fucking kek
>>20832959Every time I started cooking at night and realized I forgot to restock on some shit I needed. Butter or milk, usually.
>>20847335He spelled "neigh" wrong.t. pedant
>>20834646based and mr rogers pilled
>>20838080Yeah, it certainly can and does happen.
>>20834331The punchline is the refund.
