>>21096723
Did you drink water bro

>>21096723
Were they good at least?

>>21096723
now you know how the brave women and trannies defending our country feel

>>21096727
I drank the damn coffee and drinks that was in the MREs. One had chocolate protein mix and the other had orange mix.

>>21096729
Better than I expected. They weren't bad at all.

>>21096730
Dude now I know how it feels for a tranny soldier to take it up the ass from her fellow soldiers, holy fuck, my asshole is being stretched by the father of all turds

>>21096737
>her

>>21096737
Get yourself addicted to opiates sometime if you want to shit a reel huge log.

>>21096744
I'll pass

>>21096748
your loss

Which menus did you get? Some aren't bad but yeah it's an insane amount of calories in case you didn't look at the nutrition. 2 MRE's is like 5000 calories so the shits are insane.

>>21096759
5000 CALORIES????

it was 12 and like, 6? The elbow macaroni in tomato sauce and the beef filling tacos. Honestly it just felt like regular food to me, I ate one for breakfast and was kinda hungry 12 hours later so I ate another

>>21096723
You didn't survive eating Keto for weeks while doing OMAD. Your pain means nothing.

>>21096748
THAT will NOT pass! At least not without a blood sacrifice.

>>21096737
>>21096730
I can fuck trannies in the military!?!?!!! Which branch has the most trannies!????

>>21096762
Elbow mac is pretty decent. I'd recomment the chili mac or burrito bowl if you get some again. Cheese tortellini usually comes with some good snacks too

>>21096769
NAVY? Probably?

is this some sort of funky anti-steve thread?
why would you think anyone cares? You're not Steve. Fuck off.

>>21096773
Elbow Mac was good, I liked the rice and beans that came with the tacos more than the actual taco filling. The heater seemed inconsistent, though. With the elbow mac, the heater worked so well that steam started to exit the bag. With the tacos, the heater barely worked so I had to put the cold food on a plate and microwave it

>>21096777
>Why do people eat MRE's unless they're pretending to be a youtube celebrity
Are you fucking retarded?

>>21096723
I thought newer MREs came with more fiber to prevent that shit(no pun intended)

>>21096783
Yeah the heater is temperamental, it takes a while to figure out how to get the angle you lean it and the water level right. And you need to flip the meal pouch and kind of knead it halfway to even out the temperature. Just putting it in boiling water on the stove is much easier.

>>21096785
The point is nobody cares about what happened to your asshole and how much pain you are in.
You just proved you are some headfuck Steve hater that can barely form a coherent facade to conceal your cowardly maliciousness and personal vendetta.
Enjoy your asshole, bitch.

>>21096799
Kek, blowing up at the wrong guy. You hate to see it. No, it's pretty funny, actually.

File: IMG_8599.gif (90 KB, 785x757)

90 KB GIF

>>21096730
OH SAY CAN YOU SEE

File: Mr Pit.jpg (34 KB, 1128x480)

34 KB JPG

>>21096812
I have a degree in internet faggotry.

>>21096799
Joke's on you I've never even watched any of his videos

>>21096723
Hopefully you learned a few lessons:
>MREs are designed for men/women/soldiers in the field, expending twice as many calories as you do, sitting on your ass playing Xbox and watching anime.
>There is a long-standing rumor that MREs are designed to CAUSE constipation, since every time that a soldier has to shit, he is vulnerable to enemy attack (or even "friendly fire").
>The average US Navy SEAL has a prolapsed anus over twice the normal size, trained to dilate 4 inches on command. The exact reasons are classified, but civilian experts speculate that it may be an adaptation to earing MREs.

>>21096723
Yep, those fuckers are loaded with carbs & fiber to help clog your ass up good (only like 15% protein in those bitches). Consider yourself lucky, if you combine them with exercise in the field, you get literal shit bricks after a bit. Shit so fucking dense you could hurl them at the enemy and it would knock them unconscious. I know the first time I had a shit brick I probably would have preferred someone just fist my ass and remove it manually instead of trying to push that crap out.

You gotta caffeine load to stop that shit, the little piss ant coffee they give you in those (IF you get them) is nowhere near enough to induce shits. You need the burnt coffee mess coffee for like 3-4+ mugs to help that shit come out.

>>21096762
Average is actually 1200 cal per meal. So you downed 2400 cal with both.

>>21096954
It's no rumor. MREs give you shit bricks, the meal composition is 100% designed on it's face to make dense shit - very little protein, mostly carbs and fiber. You do not want any form of diarrhea in the field - that is MASSIVE water loss. That is why great care is taken to ensure that food is 100% safe.

The rumor is the gum is a laxative. That, it is not.

>>21096788
new mres arent the ones on sale to the public,

>>21096759
nowhere near 5000 lmao, probably 3000 at most
most of them are around 1000 calories
civilians are so silly lol
>>21096769
airforce for sure, it's where everyone soft goes

>>21096893
yeh idk I might have been a bit cranky and judgemental. How about next time you share some pics of the MRE's and discuss what you put in your mouth rather than what comes out of your anus?

>>21096954
>>The average US Navy SEAL has a prolapsed anus over twice the normal size, trained to dilate 4 inches on command. The exact reasons are classified, but civilian experts speculate that it may be an adaptation to earing MREs.
thats not just the seals that's every service, and it's so you can bend over and take the green ween from touchy uncle sam

>Eating American goyslop MREs
You've messed up big league

>>21098678
I'm sure there is a practical reason. Like housing a flotation device or perhaps comms equipment.

>>21098545
Maybe you're the weird one if you care more about what comes out of another man's anus than what he eats

>>21099994
you sound tired, get some rest

>>21100180
Why don't you think about what comes out of my ass when i do

>>21096723
I keep hearing this and I'm wondering what exactly is it in these things that causes this effect. I'm just guessing that it's because they don't contain a lot of water content. But for the amount of food, it seems comparable to other things people would eat that don't have a lot of water content. Maybe it's one of the seconders or preservatives they use? I don't know.

>>21096769
Marines

>>21096788
>fiber
>prevent constipation
Retard alert!

>>21096799
Zoomers are so effeminate when jealously defending their unimportant and irrelevant deities. Really tragic

>>21100521
>deities
>tragic
Men don't use these words, are you projecting?

>>21096788
Not really. Some are higher in fiber than others. Anything with beans as well as the vegetarian crumbles provide more fiber than a noodle or protein entree. The snack bread will speed up constipation. Hot Sauce will help flush the system provided you are staying hydrated. If your selective and a savvy trader you could avoid being as constipated as some get.

>>21097459
You can talk a base commander or similar level's office into sending you a free one a lot of times. Especially if you write a couple paragraphs about what you like about MREs specifically.

>>21101309
I feel like this wouldn't work at all but the way you worded it makes me believe you

>>21096744
rock hard rabbit turds.
OP is doing it right. hemorrhoid city.

probably because of the coffee

>>21097444
checked. did you decide on banded or invasive?
for your VA hemorrhoid surgery

>>21101345
as a base commander I'm not sending you shit.
as a shitbag Joe or (black) supply sergeant, I'll steal you a whole box for $25

>>21096723
Bro. Post your turds on /b/

>>21097459
yeah they are
its like anon said, all it takes is an enterprising grunt and they show up on the market
newest ones are available
Personally ive never had terrible constipation with mre's but i also drink more water than the average person most likely

>>21102668
I think the complaint is about volume rather than constipation specifically.
as anon said they're very deliberately calibrated

>>21102668
It's stupid easy to find. Just go to a surplus store near a military installation. The thing is that they can't sell you a box or an unopened pack so they just strip the bag and sell them in a different bag. The MRE boxes are technically government property but they dumped so many boxes of MRE's on us that you could just take them to a store and sell them from a couple of bucks and still make a decent profit. I think i sold over 10 crates of MRE's and kept 5 when i got out because i just kept forgetting them in my trunk when we unloaded our strykers and i couldn't get rid of them fast enough.

>>21096723
lol a single mre packs enough calories to keep a soldier going for a day worth of field ops and you ate 2, yeah no duh you're gonna have the hard poops.

did both have peanut butter spread? in my and everyone else's experience the peanut butter would stop you up but the cheese spread and the jalapeño cheese spread would make you shit easier.

>>21102752
The MVP was the chocolate peanut butter

Oh my fucking god. I got two MRIs out of curiosity and I have Stage 4 testicular cancer

>>21096723
There's a reason they get rid of everything BUT the toilet paper.

Here's my ranking of the MREs I've tried so far.
1. Dutch
2. American
3. Polish (slightly biased)
4. French
5. Italian
6. British

Honorary mention: the American halal one.

>>21096723
You ate two MREs in one day?

>>21096835
Did anyone ever explain how these guys got burgers & fries at like 9 in the morning?

>>21102752
>a single mre packs enough calories to keep a soldier going for a day worth of field ops
wrong

>>21105397
wrong