Also, post waffle House green texts
>>21104337>go to waffle house>nobody at the front to seat me>get nervous after standing there for a couple minutes since i think i look like a sexual harasser>see some people glance at me while i stand there, some of them chicks>leave after another min or two and sit in my car for half an hour contemplating how i probably made whatever women see me super uncomfortabletrue story
>>21104345>caring what women thinkPathetic.
Double scattered, smothered, chunked and peppered. Coffee. Pecan waffle
>>21104337Howdy m'am, I'll have two eggs, some toast, and a cup of joe!
Pancakes, bacon, and eggs, ….. from the pancake house down the street please not your shitty Waffle House
2 eggs over easy with cheese, bacon and toast, hashbrowns scattered smothered and covered, grits, and coffee and a tall glass of milk with my meal.
>>21104345Just be yourself anon
I'll have a milk"A MALK DAT ALL U WANT IT A MALK!?!?! NO WONDER YOU SO SKINNY HUNNY"and a toast I guess"NO WONDER YOU LOOK SO HUNGRY SUGAR YA DONT EAT NUTHIN, SUGAR HONEY PIE BABYCAKES"That's ok thank you"OKAY SUGAR"
>>21104345>>21104406>just seat yourself, Anon
>>21104345Waffle House is easy. Sit at the bar if alone. Find the old dude with a paper half way through his meal. You can get lucky and get a free newspaper while sipping coffee and shit.
>>21104415just being myself got me kicked out of 109 resteraunts
> Live in fuck all North Carolina> Local group plans to host a "New Years Rave"> Oh cool, never been to a rave before, why not> Find a ride with 4 other guys inside someone's shitty pickup, drive an hour out> ThisIsABarn.mp3> Turns out, Kegger at a barn first, beer pong with rednecks, they're chill> Drive another 45 mins into another small town for "Rave"> It's in a Moose Lodge/Rec Center> There's no drugs or alcohol allowed, selling Monsters (Original Green) for $1/can, Drink 5 of them because they ran out of water> Darude and Zombienation remixes, there's a few girls here with almost no clothes on> Driver has disappeared, find him basically inside a ratty old couch making out with a chick> Go cover a side room in glowstick juice> 2 hours later, everyone is hungry, go to find driver> Still getting his face eaten by an Oompa Loompa> Wait another hour, finally go, pack everyone including Oompa Loompa into truck> Start driving to nearest Waffle House because friend works there and we're all broke. Hope to get discounts.> Arrive at Waffle House, go inside, it's fucking packed> Realize it's all the rednecks from the barn party> Friend is manager on shift because Store Manager is no where to be seen> Start making ridiculous orders, drop the shades, people bring in booze from their trucks, making Gin and Juice> Meth head linecook is in his Witness Me phase and just pumping shit out, straight up Hash Slinging Slasher> People now smoking inside, people drinking, fights in the parking lot> Leave before cops come, Driver realizes later that he left Oompa Loompa in a strange wafflehouse with a bunch of friendly rednecks, assume everything will be fine and go on with our day.Hashbrowns Smothered, Covered, and Chunked, 2 orders of bacon, and a chocolate chip waffle on the side. Absolutely hit the spot.
>>21104422What's a difficult one?
>>21104462
>go to waffle house>get decent enough food for not a whole lot of money>pay and leave
Veggie omelet with 'murican chz, hash browns in the ring, wheat toast. Coffee. OJ.
>>21104435sounds like a night to remember, what year was this?
>>21104337>Take xanax and drink a couple beers>Go to waffle house in the middle of the night>Have almost no recollection of the experience>
>>21104337The cheesy eggs combo and a coffee, please.
>>211045962007, Pretty long past the era of decent raves, but the South never really had those besides on college campuses anyways.
bacon cheeseburger patty melt with hashbrowns smothered and covered. pecan waffle
>>21104337Listen up straight, y'all biscuit-heads,I'd like a piece a dry toast wit two scrambled eggs!Order a hash browns, make em extra crips,A glass a orange juice an a bowl a cheese grits!
>>21104432those restaurants were the problem not you
>>21104415>just seat yourself
>>21105359Ain't the first time a basketball american has thrown a chair at her.
>>21104345post proofs
>>21104345>go to supermarket>see young teenage girl stocking shelves>can't help but stare because she looks uncannily like my wife, just 20 years younger>she notices>"I'm sorry for staring, but you look exactly like my wife.">she's visibly creeped out>noticably dodges me the rest of the time I'm in the storeNow I feel like I can never go back to that store unless I have the missus with me. Thing is, we usually only shop on weekends and I've never seen this girl before then, which was a weekday (had the day free because medical appointment). I suspect she only works weekdays and it will never happen that the two of us are both free on a weekday to prove that she really does look like my wife's spitting image and I wasn't trying to do some piss poor attempt at a pick up line. I was genuinely surprised at the extremely uncanny resemblance. : (
>>21104337I wish there was fat friendly datable titmonster black waitress CK girls still bros
>>21105359Wtf I love white women again You can tell she's so sick of life and wish dei feminist shit never existed Hot
>>21105359mad respect for that arm block
>>21108724X, LT, RB, Y, LEFT, X, LT, RIGHT, A
>>21107311i can relate to this>see a woman that looks just like a woman i knew years ago>literally frozen for a few seconds, can't stop staring at her; starting to feel physically ill>avoid her for the rest of the day>the next day, see the woman again (we just so happen to be working in the same place) >she sees me first and starts staring back>this goes on for 5 months. Me avoiding this woman and every time we mistakenly cross paths, she looks at me. Sometimes she would mumble something acknowledging my existence. One time I was forced to ask her a question. Worst day of the 5 months. As I was having a panic attack in my car, it turns out this woman was parked in front of me, a few rows away, looking in my direction. I'm literally dodging this woman 5 days a week for 5 months. To this day, one of the worst year's of my life. Thankfully after the 5 months were over, I never saw this woman again and the nervous breakdown changed my perspective on my entire life. The next year ended up being one of the best year's of my entire life.
>>21108757My man you were definitely in love, if my experience is correct
>>21104435that sounds pretty fun actually.
>>21107311and then Waffle House?
the last time i was in a waffle house i was driving from texas to maine without stopping with my car filled with stuff and stopped in at like 3 or 4 in the morning. the only person working that night was a young black man who i chatted with for a little while and i ended up getting the guy's life story including how he was molested as a kid by his uncle. it was actually a pretty sad and fucked up tale and i was impressed with how hard he had worked to turn his life around by that point.
>>21108854gross; literally makes my skin crawl.
>>21108916Did you leave a good tip?
CAN I GET UHHHHHHHH A WHITE WAITER PLEASE.
I still can't believe that they use that plate feng shui to keep track of orders instead of having a ticket system.
Not even worth making a green text but the only time I ever gave 0 dollar tips while dining in was when some old waitress at waffle house kept bugging me and my gf about making an order every 20 seconds when we were looking at the menu. Not in a nice way like asking if you're ready but more like "ok tell me what you're having right now" even though the place was basically empty. Rude ass bitch.
>>21104414such a wonderful feeling though. i like even more the Chinese moms that give you the bigger than standard portion and lecture you in their broken English that you need to eat more.
I'll never forget after a Phish concert when we were all spun on L my buddy wanted to go to the Wafflehouse of the hotel we were staying in. 3/4 of us were like fuck no we are going back to the hotel to do drugs and drink and he said he ate like 3 Grand Slams
>>21104337Ever noticed how cheery and docile they become once they actually get jobs?
>>21104337all star breakfast; over easy eggs, chocolate pecan waffle, hash browns smothered covered and chunked, white toast. coffee with cream on side
>>21109142Depends on the job. They can also turn into entitled cunts who refuses to do their job and act like you're a nuisance for asking them to do their jobs if they have too much job security. Ever been to a DMV or any other government agency in the south? It's 99% fat black women who go out of their way to not help you unless you're black.
>>21105359Woo momma. Sick catch.
for me, its the secret menu
>>21109149>Ever been to a DMV or any other government agency in the south?No, only been to the DMV in NY, PA and DE and I still don't get the hate the DMV gets. I've never been in there more than a half hour except when I had to do the test. I go, do what I gotta do and GTFO, quick as a kitten queef. And they're mostly black up here, too. In fact, I was in our county municipal services complex the other day to renew my landlord's license (you need a license to rent out an apartment here) and even then, I was in and out in just a few minutes, not even a half hour. Just show up first thing in the morning and make sure you've got everything you need before you go. That's it.
>>21109452servers have to remember all that shit for $1.50 an hour plus tips. fuck me.
>>21108896Closest one is across the border into Maryland, iinm. I've passed by it a few times but never been in.I only mentioned my story because Anon worried about being thought of as a sex pest and it reminded me of the time that I worried about the same thing.
>>21109528>>21108896Well smack my tits! Looks like one opened up two towns over near my old job! I'm gonna give it a go at some point.
>>21104337>waffle house in my area>open 24/7>get really drunk>walk there at 3am>eat a giant breakfast>walk back homeThis happened to me probably 50 times. True story
>>21109520Mostly it's fine it's just the attitude of the sassy fat black women that wears you down. They can take like 10 minutes to scan your documents while it can be done in less than 1 minute.
>2015>be me>in the Marine Corps and on my own for the first time>In North Carolina>homesick>marine buddies have me drink with them>drink way too much>mutter about how I miss shitty diners>buddies eyes light up>takes me waffle house>i'd never heard of it>they order me scattered hasbrowns all the away with an order of bacon and eggs and a waffle>taste like the place by mouse>think about eating with my mom who had passed>tear up and marines just all pat me on the back>wait a day before making fun of me for crying
>>21111341>hasbrownsDecent description of Waffle House.
>>21104337Fried Eggs, over easy, chunked peppered hashbrowns, side of bacon, black coffee and orange juice, and do you guys still let people smoke in here?
>>21110755>They can take like 10 minutes to scan your documentsYeah, that actually did happen to me while I was at municipal services but it wasn't the fat black lady's fault. It's a small office and everything is within view so I could see that the scanner was being a prick. Still, I went in at 8, when doors open and out by 8.20. I wouldn't have gone at all but the website hasn't allowed me to renew online for a while so I had to.I wonder if bringing the originals and your own scanned copies would make the process faster? This way, they can see that the copies are just that: copies. I mean, when the website worked, I just scanned the documents in so it's not like they got to see the originals, anyway.
>Have an accident that splits open my face>Ambulance to the ER>Get face stitched back together>Get a bunch of drugs for the pain>Have to call a friend to pick me up since my car isn't there and I'm drugged up>She wants to get something eat>It's 3am, so Waffle House it is>We walk in, my shirt is covered in blood, my face is bandaged up, I'm loopy on drugs>No one shows the slightest sign of discomfort>Realize they see this type of thing at 3am all the timeIf they installed cameras in all their locations, they could have a show similar to 'Live PD'. With over 2000 restaurants, there's going to be shit going down somewhere all the time.
>>21107311this has to be bait right? how can someone have a wife and be this autistic and socially blind about women?
be ready in second, babe!
>>21108916Did you ask him for a turn? It’s pretty obvious that’s what he was wanting
>>21105359>>21107367Every straight man on the planet who saw that thought "that's hot"
>>21105359nice parry
>>21112198>socially blindBro, everyone is allowed a socially awkward episode or two every once and a while. It happens. That's literally the only one I can think of I've had in years, anyway.
>>21112210I loved middle school pizza. I still have dreams about it. It is irreplicable.
>>21113099middle school food was good. its only euroshits telling us that its bad. it was good.
>>21104337>be me early last year>just dropped my sister off at home late in adjacent city, like 2am>decide to take the interstate and not the usual country road >while merging a semi truck appears from nowhere>have just enough time to say "ah shit">semi truck obliterates drivers side window and front of car>door is completely unscathed>more importantly I am unscathed>stop on shoulder, exchange info with trucker, talk to cop, etc>they leave>debate calling tow truck>decide to limp absolutely fucked up to the Waffle House just off the exit>can barely get up to 15mph>park right in front>waitress asked what happened>"just about died a few minutes ago so I'm living without regrets right now">order a grand slam and coffee, pay and leaveGetting home was another ordeal altogether
>>21104345>9-11 what's your emergency>Yeah we're at waffle house and this really weird looking man was in here acting suspicious>He just stood there looking around awkwardly for a few minutes>we can see him in his car he's been there for 30 minutes and we're terrified to leave>he's just sitting there I think he's going to rob or abduct us>he is white mid 20s 5'8-5'9 he has glasses short brown hair>he was wearing jeans and a gray t-shirt, it looks like he is balding if that helps
>>21104337I always get triple hashbrowns smothered, covered, chunked and eight scrambled eggsi would get this like two times a week for a spell and I didn't gain an ounce of weight, I think I have a tapeworm
>enter a packed Waffle House in Louisiana at 9pm on a Friday>entire clientele slowly swings their heads around to gaze at me>2 large men at either end of the dining room slowly rise out of their seats>waitress comes running toward me shouting "It aint him, it aint him!">about to 360 nope the fuck out of there when she takes my arm and explains that somebody wearing the same coat as me was starting shit and got bodily ejected 15 minutes earlier
>>21113756how old are you?
>>21113769I must've been 25 at the time
>>21113776I had a metabolism that was ridiculous when I was younger. I could eat entire 16 inch pizzas, 2 triple whoppers, just ridiculous shit all of the time and still lanky as fuck. But yeah not at 25 maybe tapeworms I guess bro. I gained a lot of weight around 19-20 went from skinny as a rail to overweight and realized that I can't eat like that anymore
>>21112210>>21113099https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40MvjFaTVzEre-live the cafeteria pizza experience
>>21104337>be me, north transplant>driving a uhaul to FL need to piss and get some coffee>first time ever at a waffle house>3am some town in GA>stretch the legs hear some gunshots tires screeching>walk in order a coffee to go>every patrol in the precinct flying down the road sirens blaring>finish my piss, walk out and enter the van>entrance ramp is blocked>have to drive another few miles to get back on the 95Love me some blueberry waffles from there.
>>21113806pretty good history lesson, i actually enjoyed that
