>Dude, don't you just LOVE how Batman has no Alfred, no mansion, and no pussy in more ways than one?>Get this: What if we made an alternate universe where Batman has no Alfred, no mansion, and no pussy?It's like DC looked at the success of Ultimate Spider-Man and said "let's do the complete opposite of that."
>>144664937He has an alfred, he's MI-6. Revealed today.
Alright the hate has officially jumped the shark, you're doing too much
>>144664937Isn't that basically Roscharch?
>>144664937It looks cool. I'm looking forward to giving it a shot.
>>144665004This
>>144664937finally, a non-fascist Batman
Batman is a man. He has never had a pussy.
>>144664937Why is this making so many retards seethe. "No this is nothing like the heckin ultimate universe I wanted!" Yeah okay dibshit go re-read post crisis Superman or Batman Earth One or Wonder Woman New 52 then.
>>144665085They hate how all comics feel the same, and they're outraged if they do anything different.
You're mad as fuck because all anyone is talking about right now is how retarded Marvel is with their QR code bullshit. The book isn't out yet. You have no idea what they're gonna do. That Dragotta art looks fucking awesome. At least let it come out before you start bitching.
Personally, I don’t buy into Snyder’s “cool dad” act. And I won’t be surprised if, after a year, the next tech bro tries to lure him away to write Netflix pitches for him.
>>144665030Poor people can be fascist too and capes are inherently fascists
Absolute Batman should've been an AU where Bruce returns to Gotham hand in hand with Talia and uses the full force of the LoS to stop crime. Let it go crazy with him and his army of assassins fighting Intergang.
>>144665085I admit, I genuinely don't know what any of this stuff is, I'm just laughing at how fucking thick this Batman is. Like look at him, dude's chest is so fucking barrel-like, it's like he replaced it with a water cooler to store his beer in>>144665351Spotted the twitter poster
As long as he's not a rich piece of shit elite pedo.
>>144664937I just think Scott Snyder is a bad writer
>>144665003Batman without Alfred is basically original comics Batman Batman without pussy is DCAU Batman
>>144664937>no mansionBiggest lie of that run. For how big his "small" brownstone was and how often they snuck back into the batcave they may as well have just written some cockamamie reality punch that moved Wayne Manor into downtown Gotham instead.
>>144665146>Wings knock shit over>Can't enter his car>Has to flap VERY HARD to fly
>>144664937Men should be buff. Women should be vavoom.This BATMAN is THICK and BUFF. Hopefully the women will have curves.
>>144665822>Thicc Boi>6.5 ft. tall>Shoe Size: 14 USWe bara nao
>>144665925>6.5 ft tall>scribbles say 7 feet in boots and cowl>cowl measurement is where the head ends, not the ears>batnigga wearing 6 inch heelsNice batfaggot you got there DC.
>>144666066His boots are made for stomping (You)
>>144665796>>Wings knock shit overso does comics accurate cape since it is decor most of the time
>>144666111Anon, I can guarantee you none of those soles are half a foot high.
>>144666128And yet they look similar to Absolute Batman's. Minus the half-a-foot thick calves.
>>144666271Doesn't change that contrary to anon's measurements, Absolute Bruce isn't 6 foot 6, 7 feet in heels. He's clearly taller than that.
>>144665085If you’re slow to the uptake these days you can’t enjoy anything. You have to instead hate everything you consume like a bitchy addict
>>144666280His neck is as thick as somebody's arm. He's a big guy...
>>144664937>you know who we should get for out batman artist?>someone who can't draw a bat symbol!
>>144666319A big guy that wears dragqueen footwear apparently. Heels on police dress shoes add 1 to 1 and a half inches of height to a person. The average length of a military boot from bottom of the heel to the very top of the boot is 8 inches. Batman goes from 6 and a half to 7 feet.
>>144665710>Batman without pussy is DCAU BatmanWhat?>Andrea>Talia>Selina>Barbara>Zatanna>Wonder Woman>Lois Lane>Amanda WallerDCAU Batman had an entire buffet of willing women to choose from. Dude just had commitment issues to anything outside of his mission.
>>144664937>no AlfredNot yet.
>>144665925>bara BatmanWish we had bara Tim Drake: Robin instead of what we got.
>>144665822>>144665925>>144666066>>144666128If they keep going at this rate eventually Batman and Superman are going to struggle to fit through most doorways and they'll both either look like the Hulk wearing suits or magically appear to inflate once they're in costume.
>>144664937On one hand I am shocked they didn’t make a BatCat book to try and copy Ultimate Spider-Man.On the other hand, it would probably have been written by Tom King again for the hundredth time. Or worse Tini Howard.
>>144664937At least they are giving back his money in the main DCU. Maybe they can give him back his Alfred too.
>>144664937>What if Batman….but BIG!Why is DC Comics so creatively bankrupt?
>>144664937In fairness to Scott Snyder, he probably had this idea in mind before DC Comics did something similar. But yeah, it is bad timing.
>>144665822he looks like a skinhead
>>144664937DC Comics ain’t known for their intelligence. If they were, their comics weren’t be selling less than Marvel and Manga.
>>144664937looks like shit and will flop hard.
>>144665822Man, I wonder who this 6.6 ft tall, 250 lbs superhero is!
>>144667618This, looks dumb as hell and misses what makes Batman intrinsically interesting. Also that stupidly thick bat-logo is stupid af
>>144666472jfc is this what passes for capeshit "art" now? These little scribbled doodles?
>>144666392>What?>>Andrea>>Talia>>Selina>>Barbara>>Zatanna>>Wonder Woman>>Lois Lane>>Amanda Waller>DCAU Batman had an entire buffet of willing women to choose from. Dude just had commitment issues to anything outside of his mission.He dies alone without any kids behind. Real Bruce Wayne always had girlfriend, since day 1. Batman didn't prevent it, nor (even) addition of Robin. Unless ofc he is infertile. Dancing once and sharing few kisses, even I did and I am fakecel.
>>144665822>>144666440Were these leaked? Is there any more?
>>144666553>keep goingTDKR and Jeph Loeb + Tim Sale Superman (Batman too if you compare Sale's Batman with someone else too, I am just more interested in Superman) already happened sweetie
>>144666283DudeIt's not a good thingI'm not going to praise a thing that isn't goodThis is very very simpleYou praise good things and mock bad thingsThis is a bad thing, you're supposed to mock itVery simple, see
>>144664937He has an absolute Alfred, you dumb fuck
>>144666676Based
>>144666553Anon, I don't know how to tell you this...
>>144665822>>144666319>it isn't bane>its bruceWasted opportunity.
>>144666676Well, he is a legally different version of Batman who's not entering the public domain for a century. Instead of like a decade from now like the current version of Bruce.>>144667693Bruce: 6'6"Batman: 7'He is a master of disguise
>>144664937Ethan, I know you're mad about not getting work from DC anymore. I'm bummed too I really liked your art. But I promise DC isn't sitting on /co/ reading your epic takedowns of whatever it is they're doing. You make a new thread every hour and jump into any thread that even mentions DC and samefag thru the whole thread shitting on them. Do you really want to get revenge? Show them you can be successful without them. But in order to do that you need to actually put work out and you can't do that if you're wasting all your time on /co/. From what I understand you have several promises that are years late. Turn off the computer and get to work.
>>144664937Some more reveals, here's Absolute Wonder Woman who is the world's first superhero, a witch, was raised in hell (whatever that means) and rides a black skeleton horse
>>144664937More Absolute Superman
>>144669768>I really liked your artone of the most soulless art pieces ever made Technically looks great, but for some uncannyAt least his DC stuffAnd then I found that he is someone who will throw people under the bus irl. Not surprised.
>>144668427These were officially released. That's all I got of ABSOLUTE UNIT Batman.>>144666280It's a character sheet for when he gets drawn by other artists in other comics.
>>144665581Good Snott Scyder stories: Black Mirror Bad ones: everything else
>>144669768>everyone in the world that dislikes objectively horrible ideas is this one specific online bogeyman I stalkGet a life.
>>144665822>ALFRED IS EX-MILITARY IN THIS! wow so like every take since Dark Knight 40 years ago>HE'S GRUFF! so like a handful of takes in the last 10 years ago>HE'S PROBABLY GAY, BARA STYLE! we gotta talk, Mark
>>144666440>Yuir parents arrenged fer me, Bruice>…what in the fuck is that accent supposed to be>Christchurch by way o' Glasgow
>>144670013>HE'S PROBABLY GAYNobody is saying that. DC has mindbroken you, buckaroo.
>>144666392I probably love WMBW more than anyone but never suggest Brumanda again
What about splitting the difference by making him a self-made man instead of old money?
>>144669985>Get a lifeLike camping /co/ for any mention of DC so I can bitch about them through the whole thread and create multiple threads a day shitting on them?
>>144669713And they literally explain to each other how they manage to pass for normal people out of costume because it's ludicrous to even themSuch a great book and that's not even counting Deathstroke fighting Deadpool
>Literally Bigger Batman
>>144669985Ethan please If you ask real nicely maybe Kamen America will let you guest on a backup
>>144669779>was raised in hellSo just like the OG one?
>>144670077>Like camping /co/ for any mention of DCDude, people talk about DC because they're the biggest news right now, and people make fun of DC because they're shitting themselves inside out on stage right now. You can't expect people to politely ignore that.
>>144669779>Statue of Liberty shnoz I am harder than Battletoads but the idea of her having a civilian identity is pretty much off the table
>>144669767>Well, he is a legally different version of Batman who's not entering the public domain for a century.Neither are any modern depictions of the character, dipshit. Only version of Batman becoming PD is his first fucking appearance.
>>144664937They should've just ripped off the Darren Aronofsky Batman script tbf
>>144670137Losing Simone to Uncanny X-Men can't be making them happy. I figure it's not an exclusive but she's gonna have her hands full for a while at least.
>>144670150His first appearance is already 98% of what people need and almost everything else (like Robin) comes the year after. DC knows it's going to be a disaster for them when it happens and it is smart of them to try and make preparations for it. This is not going to catch on though.
>>144670150>Public Domain Batman, who loves guns
>>144670152That Batman was poor by choice. End of the script has him embrace his family fortune, becoming the Batman we all know.
>>144670161Who's gonna care about that total bitch Simone? She's a fat lazy sack of shit. Just look at her Domino series where she didn't even know the title character's powers until like 6 issues in. If anything, DC is happy to be rid of her.
>>144670168>Warner/Discovery trying to push this the way Ike the Kike pushed Inhumans, to the same end We can't say they aren't entertaining us
>>144670161Simone is like a 3/10 writer. She doesn't matter. What DC needs is at least a half dozen 8s or 9s and then they can possibly start recovery. Problem is, I don't think they have any system in place at all for finding fresh writing talent (with actual talent and not just exotic alphabet groups).
>>144670171Sounds like improved Batman to me.
>>144670191>"I make the other person unlucky" >Don't we already have Black Cat for this >Yes but the difference is she's a mutant and a good guy>OHHHHHHHH
>>144670137No, you've been doing this for weeks on end at least at this point. You're obviously somebody with a grudge against DC/WB and it's just sad.
>>144670168What bout his villains? You'll have Joker but no one else for a while.
>>144670215TO EVERYONE except Miller who wanted a wank vector for the character
>>144670205The only people wanting to enter comic book writing at this point are millennials and older zoomers who never read comic books, are hostile to them, and want to use this to get into better paying media like screenwriting Poke Busiek hard enough and he'll admit this grudgingly
>>144670224Imagine if they actually created new villain characters who fit the new settings >Remember Mr. Negative in Spider-Cuck? Let's pretend Waid still has enough functioning grey matter to invent a character, not that in the last forty years he's been asked to do it once and every single one of his Dynamite characters were expies
>>144670224You'll also have Catwoman. Batman's first issue had 3 stories in it.
>>144670224Just come up with new guys? It's not THAT hard.
>>144670292Ideally you begin with completely street level opponents like CW so that Joker takes you by surprise, you don't want to feed the argument "your being here created these insane monsters" all over again
>>144670220>No, you've been doing this for weeks on end at least at this pointIt's different people you unbelievable delusional fuckMORE THAN ONE PERSON DISLIKES WHAT DC IS DOINGyou fucking retarded idiot
>>144670297It shouldn't be but TPTB will insist on no learning curve for readers and Waid had to use every brain cell in his head to create Magog, all the other OCs in Kingdom Come were actually Ross's
>>144670097Kek
>>144670309I believe that, but I also believe most of us who are older than 20 expect this to implode rather than alter the status quo FOREVAR
>>144670309>seething from getting called out as samefag
>>144670097Redo this every couple of years until Bruce looks like LoEG's Mr. Hyde and can't pass for normal
>Batman with no Council of Owls/cursed sentient Gotham horseshit That's almost worth the price of admission
>>144670297Or just make expies.
>>144664937They should make a comic or cartoon movie out of Aronofsky's Batman Year One
>>144670205The last anecdote I ever heard about either company's editorial proactively seeking writing talent is so old, the guy mentioned was still named Jim Owsley at the time For almost a century the industry has relied on being a seller's market: initially desperate pulp writers and unemployed illustrators living a train ride away from the offices, then hip creators reliving their childhood nostalgia, then irony-addicted writers and British invasion rape enthusiasts, and finally politically motivated propagandists and impoverished South Americans who recognize it's a buyer's market because the industry still refuses to hire professional talent at according wages.It has been LUCKY to last this long and if the DC/Marvel acquisitions hadn't occurred with no film synergy bucks, both would have gone out of business by 2010. As it stands both companies are IP farms with the print end being run as leisure operations, doing cancellation numbers on all their titles and no real impetus to be actual businesses for the foreseeable future.
>>144670527The profit margin on comic books depended on the cheapness of uncoated pulp paper and frighteningly primitive color separation done by the printers limiting the palette to 64 colors. When both companies latched onto bleached coated color stock they figured they'd just raise the price slightly – then in the 90s paper prices soared with no sign of return and that ate their margin. It also spelled the end of being subsidized by postage stamp sized mail order companies and having to actually find full-page advertisers which radically raised page rates and in turn issue costs. The entire business model behind American superhero comic books is almost a half century old while none of the external factors that made them briefly popular for 15 years still apply. It's a zombie industry propped up by film studios who are themselves watching their industry die.Enjoy this while you can, it's not going to improve and Image has another 10 years at best before it implodes or transitions hard into some other direction. Capes are a 20th century phenomenon on their last legs for economic more than social reasons.
>>144669767That isn't how public domain works. Steamboat Willie entering the PD didn't mean that people had access to Mickey Mouse. All of those different stories, designs, and iterations of the character are covered separately.
>>144669779Sounds dank
>>144665003Good point>DC finally has a Batschach book>Anons bitch about it You whiners will never be happy no matter what happens. What's the point of trying to appease you?
>>144666128He uses hidden liftsLike Meatball Ron
>>144666440That's just Winntergreen
>>144669779Azzarellobros...We're so back
>>144669790>CRAAAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIN!>THEEEEEESE WOOOUNDS THEY WILLL NOT HEEAAAAAAAL
>>144671377I don't remember seeing even a single post asking for shit like "what if Batman was Rorschach" and even if somebody said that it was surely a fucking joke.
>>144670940>Steamboat Willie entering the PD didn't mean that people had access to Mickey Mouse.Yes it did and that's how Larsen can put Mickey in his comic month after month and not get C&D:t by Disney.
>>144666553Post physique
>>144664937 No, it's the exact same reasoning. Pandering to late 80's and early 90's nostalgia.There are Bat fans who hate the bat family and want Batman to be more like the movies.
>>144671472Larson got away with that because it was basically parody with how exaggerated it was. Painting Mickey as a le rapist is no different than a Family Guy skit or the Horror Pooh movies being made.If Larson had tried to make a genuine story with Mickey then Disney would have raped him.
>>144672143This is nothing like the movies though. This is Big Poor Batman. Nothing like Burton or Nolan or even Reeves Batman.
>>144672143>There are Bat fans who hate the bat familyYeah, me.
>>144672143There are still a number of fans who think the only major supporting characters in Batman should be Alfred, Commissioner Gordon, and maybe Lucius Fox.>>144672624I think the guy who runs the horror YouTube channel In Praise of Shadows hates the Bat family too because he thinks they detract from the Gothic style and themes he prefers for the franchise.
>>144672824(Sorry, posted too soon)>>144672624Why do you hate them?
>>144666553>complaining about comic book characters having ridiculous bodies
>>144667618>>144667717>seething marvelfags
>>144664937I hope it works out and DC manages to beat Image in sales.
>>144664937I can't believe Bigger Batman is a reality
>>144669790>I>AM A WORLD BEFORE I AN A MAN>I> WAS A CREATURE BEFORE I CAN STAND
>>144673408>coping dccucki don't give a shit about marvel. all of their heroes suck.
>>144672824>There are still a number of fans who think the only major supporting characters in Batman should be Alfred, Commissioner Gordon, and maybe Lucius Fox.So like the Bale movies?
>>144674125The only good one is Robin.
>>144665822This is garbage
>another black woman GL this time by EwingLord end my suffering
