>"It's hard to keep a secret, especially when it's such an important one."
Bump if you're reading.
>>146436695Oh boy, time for the legacy character issue.
>>146436702Bump because I'm reading!
>>146436739>jobs to a mobHe's such a jobber...
And that's it. If you liked this, support your LCS or whatever.
That's it?
>character is called Black Cat>make her blackBRAVO NOLAN
>>146436732I know that pose
>>146436759>So, y'wanna fool around?WELCOME BACK, MARY JANE WATSON
>>146436772He's OUR jobber and as Mr. Neg explains >>146436764 it was more of a last ditch effort to get the hell out of dodge because he did not want to go fisticuffs with Peter.
>>146436773>Owen StacyInteresting. Any easter eggs in this lineup?
>>146437127>Our jobberSpeak for yourself. My jobber is an orb in a constant state of suffering.
>>146436768>Felicia on the cover>only appears on a single page where she doesn’t even say anythingGood issue otherwise, but that’s disappointing.
>>146436782Ben's a real nigga.Peter's OP Sec was genuinely shit though. Jonah definitely knows too.
>>146436702Bump
>>146437178There's a lot said with just her body language. She's clearly not thrilled.>>146437119Best girl.
>>146436721Kek>>146436768>Black Cat on cover>Only appear on one pageBruh. She cute though.
>>146436732>Webs up her mouth tooFuck me that's actually hilarious.
>>146437174When will Benom finally get his chance to shine?
>>146436764>It took him less than a minute to defeat my menPETER BROS, WE ARE COMPETENT AGAIN.
>nothing ever happens: the comicCome on, where is ACTION?! Epic fights, villains doing villainy stuff, heroes doing heroic stuff, etc. Is it even a Spider-Man comic, or is it a "people just keep talking for 20 pages" slice-of-life comic?
>>146436739>>146436746Wait. isn't his suit made of programmable nanomachines? How the fuck are people tearing it? How the fuck is it still torn hours later?
>>146437462He replaced it with a spandex suit two issue ago since he didn't want Iron Lad or anyone else to track him down or remote control it.
>>146437462He switched from Benom to a Spandex-Kevlar composite suit after turning down the Iron Spider suit Otto made
>>146437346Judging by the summary of the next issue, he's probably going to sleep-walk using Peter. Either that or I'm burning Hickman's house down.
Black Cat is like the Psylocke of USM lmao.Who is doing these solicits? 50% of the time they are wrong.
>>146437408PS4-accurate spider-man beating up Negative goons here we go
>>146436788what's the point of having a debaged hummer EV just pasted like that on the panel. It doesn't even line up.Doesn't strike me as something Pete would drive either, even when he's loaded.
>>146437409>Come on, where is ACTION?!Shonen mind virus strikes again
>>146437824Speedreader-kun.... >>146436786
>>146436768Fellas, would it be fucked up to ask the light skinned girl I'm dating to dress like Felicia for me?
>>146437925No, unless she doesn't like cosplays.
>>146436768>clearly does not want to be there>dollars to donuts that's a wigShe's gonna fold the second Spider-Man drops down in front of her, just instantly walk away from all this shit, wheelchair dad or no
>>146437979To be Peter's second wife...
>>146437979You think she even had some proper training? 'cause the idea of Walter bringing his civillian daughter out of the blue because he didn't want to lose his seat is just too damn funny.
>>146437995She got no idea her dad was an international super thief, he rolled into her apartment with that zorro mask on and she didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
>>146437991Third wife actually!
>>146438052Stop it.
>>146438058Nah.
>>146438020The best part? Her costume is a her dad's old costume.She has to live with the fact that her dad was stealing shit and whipping guys in a tight yoga bodysuit while speaking like some swashbuckling phantom thief.
It feels so weird to be genuinely excited about a new Spider-Man comic for the long haul againNice to see that Ben isn't cluelessMakes me wonder how long it'll take villains to clue in on Peter's identity due to being a sloppy vigilante
>>146437954Bueno...
>>146436695Finaloy a good comic to read
How close is Ultimate Ben to what we know of 616 Ben?
>>146436748kino
>>146436721>quips back at annoying woman shitting on himIt's so simple, yet apparently an impossible endeavor for 616 stories
>>146436768seeexxxxx
>>146436748I miss this Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson.Not the post clone saga garbage
>>146436759I hate marvil for ruining 616 Peter and Mary Jane and i Praise Hickman for bringing them back
>>146437834These people would hate Kinnikuman, SAO and Iseshit were a plague in the industry.
>>146436768I want to put my penis inside (actually) Black Cat's vagina.
>>146438052>>146438077why are you like this?
>>146436785>sixHarry, MJ and 2 kids, Tony and ???Gwen? Fucking Maker?
>>146436759The Whore of Babylon
>>146438058>>146438077Fuck off.
>>146438687Otto.
>>146438711Otto doesn't know yet.
>>146438591I hardly think peter getting assaulted by a mob is something one should give credit to hickman for doing.>>146436739
>>146438730I was sure Harry said Pete's name around Otto. Or maybe the AI count.
>>146438711>>146438730Ben. He's counting Ben since Ben just then told him
>>146438865where is the ball autism test dot jpeg
>>146438930I'm guessing it's the family, plus Harry, Gwen and Otto.
>Ben>MJ>Harry>May>Richard>Peter GPTEasy
>>146438966Forgot Tony.
>>146438966Wouldn't Gwen also know since Harry knows
>>146436739People forget that he doesn't want to hurt civilians and pulling away too hard might couse them injury
>>146438983No. Presumably Harry didn't tell her since Peter wants it a secret
>>146436732It's probably just a coincidence, but it's rather satisfying to see Peter make fun of Mister Negative's man bun, considering a certain infamous character also has one.
>>146436739I knew this would happen I just knew it. *sight* this where things start to go downhill for USM.
>>146436768Fisk is talking like he didn't fail to nab Spidey either
>>146436732>Mocking man bunthe 616 fag editors wont like that Hickman mocked paul
>>146438966>>146438983>>146439031Has to be Gwen. Harry told Peter he tells her everything because she has the right to know everything as his wife. Pete trusts them so he's probably okay with it.He's definitely more okay with Gwen knowing than Otto
>>146436732What if Peter himself goes bald?Every issue is a month. A month is enough to crumble a man's life. From one issue to another with no explanation he has a massive bald spot
>>146439141Piss of with the spam retard.
>>146439433What if..... Peter Balder!?
>>146439460Not funny
>>146436759>>146437119very rare, very based
>>146439474I know........
>>146439568Then cut the crap will you.
>>146439460pest Thor useing Balder to roast Hulk please
>>146439639
>>146439709whoops its Thingthank
Put the fucking suit back, Peter.
>>146436768Where's her boobs?
>>146439883They went in the hair.
>>146439436Not spam go away Polack you don’t understand English.
>>146436714And the villain arc for Otto starts now.
>>146437546>Sleep-Walk issue>Santa costume coverIs Benom gonna steal Pete's body just to go around handing out presents and being an all around nice guy.
>>146436721This is the most Spider-man Spider-man that's Spider-manned in years.
>>146436724I don't think you know what legacy characters are
>>146436773There are repeated names. I'm too dumb to know if any of these are specific references.
>>146439883Stop objectifying women. They shouldn't have big breasts. Big butts are fine to obsess over though because stop asking questions
>>146436785This conversation is making me wonder.Does this Peter have Spider-Sense? I can't remember if he does.
>>146439799Big talk for a dead guy.
>>146436759AH MY EYES, A WIFE CASUALLY SUGGESTING HER HUSBAND THEY SHOULD HAVE SEX, IT IS CURRENT YEAR DO BETTER MARVEL!!!
>>146441184>Somewhere, Harry rejoice
>>146441104He does.He stated he didn't feel danger when Harry protected him from Black Cat
>>146436702Readan
>>146436759OH NO MUH RELATABILITYYYY
>>146436759This Peter has sex, I can't relate to him now.RUINED FOREVER.
>>146441507>MC has sex>oh no the fans can't relate anymoreWhat did spider editorial mean by that?
>>146441540Can't fault them for knowing their audience at least
>>146441555If anything it's more reflective of editorial, they aren't getting laid so them seeing Peter having sex makes them seethe
>>146436739Why is nobody mentioning this being a callback to the scene from Spider-Man 2
>>146436739>>146437061Same>>146441100Where's her butt then?
>Peter has sexIT'S OVEROWARI DAI'M MELTING
>>146441748It's true. He has sex with Harry.
>>146436746I want to suck MJ's toes so bad bros.
>>146441683More like traced, I want my Chechetto dammit
>>146436695Thanks for storytiming
>>146436782This Benis great
>>146437409Entire severals of things happened this issue, including Peter suiting up to fight crime. Things happen in this book, and are allowed to stay happened. That’s more than I can say for 616, where literally nothing happened since Dead Language and the Death of Ms. Marvel.
>>146436732>prison rape jokeWelcome back peter>>146436759>horny mjWelcome back mj
>>146438573Well they were good until the reboot and then again in jms.
>>146439883Mj got all the boobs.
>>146438700Schizo are you just angry that 6160 MJ likes Peter better than 616 MJ likes Paul?But when you think about it’s obvious!>is actually married to Mary-Jane instead of just rooming with her>has actual children instead of fakes created by his dad>has better facial hair and no manbun>has an actual job and an income>has birth certificate, valid ID, and Social Security Number>did not murder billions of people by accident>tries to go out and help people as a superhero instead of staying at home and having MJ do it for him
>>146436732I knew it, he is a menace!
>>146439141They won’t like that USM is going to be ahead on the sales charts again.
>>146440995I mean if you're getting TECHNICAL Black Cat on this universe is a legacy character if you're using the logic her father was the first
>>146443098I joked about that when she was first announced. “They’re replacing Walter Hardy with his mixed race daughter??? They’ve gone woke!”
>>146443045USM, The Flash and ABSOLUTE Batman
>>146443187I'm pretty sure the Flash isn't selling that well
>>146443235Once Absolute Flash comes out, see Wally going full Peter Parker with uncle barry
>>146442663>>146437409It’s like these dudes forgot that ASM threads have been bombarded with Nothing Ever Happens ever since Wells’s run left everything hanging and Kelly’s run is doing the same. It turns out that banging your action figures together like a chimpanzee or a Polish guy isn’t enough to qualify as a thing happening.616 Peter had an extended chase and fight with Tombstone stretched for THREE FUCKING ISSUES and it turns out nothing actually happened, Lonnie isn’t going to jail and never even had to go out and murder his kid, he was just being retarded.The whole thing was pointless and retarded, Zeb Wells made a battle where Peter had to stop a deranged father from murdering his own child and I felt nothing. The stakes were nonexistent because Tombstone never needed to do this shit and would probably have gone to prison if Peter didn’t stop him. It turns out punching and sound effects mean nothing when it’s just slapped together for its own sake and deliberately ruins its own drama.
>>146443393What is it about Ultimate that causes the schizo to seethe, stamp his feet, and insist that nobody is allowed to have any fun?Is he a Marvel intern? No, because he only speaks Polish and has to use Google Translate to talk at us. He literally can’t even read the comics why the fuck is he so angry about comics he’s literally incapable of reading? He got floored last time when people mentioned that Norman Osborn was back as an AI because Norman Osborn’s return was conveyed entirely through green text bubbles that the schizo was incapable of reading because he can only look at the pictures and guess based on what we’re saying. He’s got no idea what’s going on and has nothing to say.
>>146443477I guess its why he want his superheroes punching someone: that's only thing he can understand.
>>146443714I hope someone punches him. He won’t understand anything else.
>>146443722His parents probably did so daily.Oh, who am I kidding. He has no parents, a pig coughed and he fell out.
>>146443765Based Norman insult.
>>146436768>Black Cat looking like she's only doing this because her dad begged her to but the embarrassment of standing in front of her dad's pals in a spirit halloween getup is giving her second thoughtsI will forgive the bait and switch of having her on the cover but only show up for one panel.
>>146443722>>146443722Stop spamming and being off-topic you moron. That only kills the thread more quickly.
gay
>>146444307off-topic idiot.
>>146444329no you are
>>146443979>I will forgive the bait and switch of having her on the cover but only show up for one panel.I don't and I don't think it is wise for hickman to do this. If he keeps this shit up then he will soon be washed up.
>>146444348Get real man.
>>146436695Bump
>>146444369What do you know? You don’t even speak English and can’t actually read these comic books.
>>146444878You really are dumb as fuck the more you spam the more you kill the thread. it's no wonder eveybody prefers other thread s aside from spider-man.
>>146436732Rape quips are a bit much for Spider-Man aren't they?
>>146444938Not in hickman's eyes anon
>>146444938Maybe but, it’s only oblique and it’s nice to see him have some edge. It’s not saying something like:>>146444931I hope you get raped Gwenschizo.
>>146444968>I hope you get raped Gwenschizo.I hope you get banned for spam, being top off-topic and making false false accusations. You sound like the kind of person who really does want to get banned.
>>146444958Hickgods, I kneel.I’m so glad the X-Men fags were retarded enough to spurn his vision, now he is ours. Now he belongs to us, the Spider-Man fags.
>>146444938There's some inspiration from Raimi-Man, so expect a lengthy rant with some choice words when he encounters this universe's Black Cat.
>>146445003It was just an example of an inappropriate quip versus a more appropriate one like Peter made. God, don’t get mad at me I was just continuing the conversation geeze louise do you have anything about this issue you’d actually like to talk about or are you just going to saber rattle about how we should all be banned before the jannies delete your posts and you ban-evade yet again?
>>146439433He’s too old to go bald, usually his hair would start thinning and hair-line would recede by now.
>>146436759
>>146436721kek
>>146436732>webs the woman's mouth shutlmao
>>146445035I suppose I could go on twitter or discord and chew out hickman for him being stupid enough to make felica black I hate race swapping.
>>146443098>I mean if you're getting TECHNICAL Black Cat on this universe is a legacy character if you're using the logic her father was the first616 Felicia's dad was a master thief as well.
>>146436759She definitely wanted to be webbed to the ceiling.
>>146436768That Mysterio outfit is bitchin'.
>>146445149False.
>>146445182Hhis body kind of resembles of that being a woman
>>146445127You should. Link me when you do.
>>146445185No it’s true. You aren’t able to understand comics, schizo. Sorry. Maybe go on Twitter to talk about how you despise black people at Johnathan Hickman.>>146445212I hope Mysterio is a cute girl who has sex with Harry!
>>146445185What's wrong with a wife wanting to be webbed up by her husband for ceiling nookie?>>146445212Maybe it's a female Mysterio.
>>146436732>People are gonna love you in jailIt's so refreshing to see him actually be funny again.
>>146436759>>146436759C'mon Peter, a 20 minute quicky wouldn't hurt, if a rando gets mugged while you are busy so be it, you can't save everyone.
>>146445519Too quick for his new stammina.
Bump
>>146436721Bitches love Spider-man pose.
>>146446096Yep
>>146436759Why can't he spare 15 minutes to fuck her wife? He needs a shower anyways
>>146436759best MJ ever, not surprising though, imagine the sex positions a guy with super strength and endurance, super flexibility, and the ability to stick to walls can do
>"Peter.....I NEED a third child. C'mon, let's make it a hat trick. A trio. Please, Peter. I'll even bet you if its a boy or a girl. At least one time on the ceiling, Peter!"
>>146436796>White-washed Ultimate Nick Fury?O.o
>>146436759;_; wives that initiate are amazing.
>>146436759This peter FUCKS
>>146445837Quick enough for her, he can get off later.
>>146447010He's not gonna swing around with a redhead milf caused hard on
>>146447582That’s why he’s plainclothes obviously.
>>146436759> peter gets his abilities and the suit and suddenly MJ is hornier x1000 every other issueGIGA BASEDIGABASED
>>146436695I was enjoying how niggerfree this version of spidey was, finaly giving the white man it's place of honor and glory. Sad to see it go like this.DROPPED.
>>146436732Neo Ultimate Peter just became the best Spider-Man for openly hating fat annoying bitches.
>>146445182I hope it's somehow 616 beckAgain.
SPEC BOOK THAT WAS BAD SUPPORT YOUR LCS BY BUYING SOMETHING ELSE
>>146448380Retard
>>146436759That's all it takes, huh? The comic can be shit, but if the protagonist is married and his wife wants to fuck him, it's all good? The big 2 could have been making very easy money all this time.
>>146448380Or you could just not support your local shop.
>>146448417worked with Tomasi Superman
>>146444938It was a different time.
>>146448417The more the character get abused by the writers the more the comics when he get a good life will be liked, it's that Easy. If I were a writer I would do that all the times
>>146448640you really need to find a better translation app
>>146448417Hickman took the easy and obvious layup everyone else was too retarded and stubborn for.It helped that it was a good issue though.
>>146448275No wonder Gwenschizo fucking hates this book.
>>146448380Your first sentence is gibberish.
still reading but>Why does Walter Hardy need nose tubes? he got pushed off a building, isnt the wheelchair enough? Nose tubes are usually when someones like terminal, is it just to make him look old? kek>kek at the lady in the bank telling pete to shut up, she almost has a point>the kids had a thing after schoolwho is watching them? Its clearly not Ben and Pete and MJ dont have friends that we know of besides Gwen/Harry>MJ telling peter she's scaredhonestly she should be. also how does peter explain the wounds to ben . and does mr negative give people he mind controls powers because otherwise how could they do damage to spider-man to the point of ripping his suit? also why didnt he just bail instead of staying to take a beating
>>146449074it's just used if you're not getting enough oxygen but can still breathe relatively normally, broken rib poked through a lung and he's not breathing right maybe
>>146436785>SixMJ, the 2 kids, Harry, Gwen, Doc Ock what about Tony Stark?
>>146436759marvel editorial mandate Peter can be married to MJ but NO SEX
>>146448667I don’t use a translation app and refuse to actually learn english
>>146436786>because they;re evil and someone has to stand up to thatdidnt harry say something very similar?
am i the only one who thought we would get a with great power rendition here? I know that at some point something bad will happen and Ben is raising all the death flags but I would be ok with him just living for a long time in this series because when the fuck will we ever get Uncle Ben that isnt just meant to die? I think he will die but I hope they keep him for a while.
>>146438478not
>>146449278We already got "with great power" from Harry in issue 4
>>146449074>who is watching them?Ben’s malewife Jonah.
>>146436732>silence woman Kek and it’s still less misogynistic than 616
bendis USM was better tho
>>146449709Nah. Objectively no. Bendis’s USM had all the issues of this book writ even larger, with fewer of the good points.
>>146449159They have 2 kids to they had sex at least twice, checkmate marvel editorial.
We get it, there's not enough child porn in this comic for you.Shut the fuck up already.
>>146449168Based, i hope whatever third world shithole you crawled out of gets nuked to hell.
>>146450173Fuck Gwenschizo.
>>146436721Kek
>>146449727I generally don't trust anyone trying to claim Bendis' USM was better than this. either it's the nostalgia-goggle wearing 00s fanboys or the BND shills trying to tank the book in vain
>>146441683>>146442075>>146442075It probably is traced but I'm gonna headcanon that it's a callback>original scene is peter being carried as a hero >this scene is peter being carried by people forced to be villains there's a LITTLE pottery in there.
>>146436759>>146436748so she's just a cunt no matter where. checked.
>>146451079>can't even read the dialogue and understand what she's sayingAre you retarded?
>>146451183How is that even a question at this point?Is Lassie the dog a rough collie?
>>146451079>MJ being worried about Peter>"Must be a cunt"It must be hard to not understand english.
>>146437408It's like he's an actual man or something. Like a Spider-Man. God damn, for all the decompression this book can be a delight.
>>146451583>God damn, for all the decompressionIts not as bad as the first USM. Peter took like 5 issue to become a superhero.
>>146451639Kek. Yeah I remember how that was just Bendis writing for trades.
I like how every covers depict NeoU Felicia as this confident cat thief, but in the actual issue she is like "WTF am I doing here?"
