What would you do if one day you woke up and had spider powers?
>>147221423If the Silk pheromone think exist, could I try to get girls to get bit by my same spider so they'll get madly horny for me?
>>147221423Rob a few banks or something. Probably go into professional sports of some kind.
masterbate then save the world...from myself so id masterbate again
I live pretty far away from a downtown where there are skyscrapers to web sling from. Guess I'd just go get some pussy.
>>147221423It would be a different world, let's put it that way.
>>147221423I would probably do whatever a spider can, honestly.
>>147221423Idk. I'll probably be happy that I'm ripped. I can't really do spidy powers since I live in a small town
>>147221449Damn, I have a bad habit of typing "think" when I mean "thing," and then not noticing it.
Can I pick which Spider-man? If so I'd pick Miguel's and hunt the top hundred richest people alive.
>>147221423Which Spider powers do I get? Peter's? Miles? Cindy's?Assuming it's Peter's, I'm just gonna become an youtuber that delves into physical sports now that I have an Adonis body.
>>147221423Masturbate
how much does the spider powers change my dick?
>>147221973It stays the same size though it gets much harder, however you now have cancer sperm that will kill the love of your life if you cum inside her too much.
>>147222006what if i make sperm bank donations
>>147221449Your Silk is a short fatty that looks like a gender swapped Dan Slott.
>>147221423idk, prolly swing from a web
>>147221423Spider stuff
>>147221423work on an oil rig? commercial diving would be easier. professional athlete.
>>147221423Turn 360 degrees and walk away.
>>147221423Become a pro wrestler. What could go wrong?
boy, the "great responsibility" message really landed, huh
>>147221423Radioactive spiderjizz
>>147221423If I had a body like that I'd go around shirtless as much as possible and pick up as many girls for meaningless sex as possible. I'm sure I'd be STD proof.
>>147221423I genuinely dream of waking up and not needing to wear glasses. Sounds fucking awesome
>>147221423Rape.
>>147221423I'd probably become my universe's Spider-Man and beat Miguel to death
>>147221423Do I get organic webbing? It all depends on that.
>>147221423Start a YouTube channel recording myself doing Spider-Man shit for money
>>147221423Try not to get dissected by feds
>>147224768Miguel did nothing wrong.
>>147221423Abandon responsibilities. But how will I explain that to my family?
>>147224790Let's say you do, as long as you maintain it with a good diet that constantly has you consuming fluids and starchy foods. What are you going to do, go around webbing up people to rape?
>>147221423Do we get to decide on the custom spider powers that we obtain? Want Spider-man 2099's spider powers plus a regenerative healing factor.
>>147223862
>>147224871Nah, unironically would try to be a hero.
>>147221423>10 tons>precogI would just Hanma Yujiro my way through life.
>>147221647that's nothing, for some reason 80% of the time I want to write "now" I write "not" for some reason, which can cause a lot of confusion
Spider-Man really does have the coolest abilities
>>147223862>protect the status quo
>>147221423Help terribly rich oligarchs learn the joys of giving.
>>147221423Become an NBA star.>B-B-BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BLOOD TEST!!!shut up nerd lmao
>>147221423Do I have natural webbing? If so then ill just sell ropes to buy videogames and just keep playing vidya.
>>147221423I'd go to Japan and rape it. All of it.
>>147221423Get my dick sucked upside down
>>147223862Well that’s why Peter has these powers and the average anon doesn’t
>>147221423Become the Spider-Punisher/Robin Hood anti-hero. Kills a bunch of rich CEOs, steals their shit, and gives their wealth away to the people (while taking some of it for my own).
>Circus Freak It would be cool to sleep with a bunch of women and that's all I'd use my powers for>Biological SpiderFucked up and I would have killed myself immediately
Become a ripped Sumo wrestler, only work like 2 weeks every two months. >Feet stick to ground so can't be picked up or moved.>Strong enough to beat even largest guy.>Schedule lets me work and make a living but gives me 3/4 of the year off to do w/e I want.I wouldn't even need to be in the top rank, I could just hang out in 2nd rank. I wouldn't even have to throw matches just no show some saying I'm recovering from an injury.
>>147221423Have a wank.
>>147221423Realistically I'd seek to be someone like a mix of Spiderman and the Punisher, but go after White Collar criminals more than Blue.>Live in the South. >No tall buildings to web through.>Develop a web-pulling method like in Spiderman 2(Game), where instead of aiming high, aim low to center and pull self toward the web, using the low buildings.>Instead of being called Spiderman, call myself Jumping Spider, since that's all I'm doing essentially.
>>147221423Become a professional athlete.
>>147224790No, nothing so worthless. you get to make your own multi purpose web shooters that actually do more than suck
>>147221423have sex with mary jane, felicia, and gwen.
>>147221468>>147221861>>147226724His dick falls off, that’s how he mates.Let me say that again. His dick falls off.Spider’s dicks fall off.
>>147221423>get spider powers and somehow figure out how to make my own web shooters >MFW I still need to drive everywhere because the place I live doesn’t have anything tall to swing fromThis is going to be harder than I thought
>>147227317>Anon turns his car into the Spidermobile.>Complete with theme music speakers.
>>147221423Well I’d make a mask and appear on my local wrestling circuit for some quick cash, and hopefully a tv producer in the audience will hire me to perform on the late night circuit. Why should I lift a finger for anyone else’s sake if everyone who isn’t my adopted parents treats me like trash? From now on, I just look out for number one, me! I wouldn’t even stick my foot out to trip a passing robber.
>>147227235Good. That should apply to human males too. They'd think twice.
>>147221423nothing, just act as I did before.
>>147227864about what? throwing their life away on the Big M?
>>147221423Nothing, spider powers arent really useful when all you do is play vidya and watch movies.
>>147221423 I'd fondle my pecs
>>147228434Think outside the box for once.
>>147229449Me getting the spidey powers would be the biggest waste the cosmos ever conjured. Only use id have for my spidey powers is id be able to have intense powerfaps, but thats it. I aint gonna be climbing no walls or swinging from buildings, shit i barely even leave the house. Id prob use the web to bring shit over to myself in the house, that would be neat.
>>147221423>What would you do if one day you woke up and had spider powers?Move to New York
>>147221423Is this achievable natty?I'm honestly asking because I have no idea what juicing looked like back then with no filters and no CGI
>>147221474>>147227317What, too lazy to use your superpowered legs to run around and jump across rooftops and do cool parkour?
>>147221423>What would you do Immediately fear that my dick would fall off
>>147221423 yell out a girlish scream
>>147221423i become a pirate robbing chinese ships that travel through international waters
>>147221423It depends. What tier level are we talking about?
>>147226707I really hope you're joking. Adults can't seriously think like this. Then again, a few days ago I saw in YouTube comments multiple communists literally claim that food literally goes in stores and that rich people make people pay for it for no reason. I also remember reading a communist on /tg/ claim that in his setting, instead of farms, there's just these magical devices that produce and distribute enough food for everyone for free. He claimed that it was an allegory for how farmers could easily solve world hunger if they simply choice to not be selfish. So many times I argue with communists and their arguments boil down to "Read Marx," (they haven't read Marx themselves) or "Just read a book," but they refuse to give specific examples.
>>147221423I would give into my mind tigers almost immediately.
>>147227235I went 35 years without picturing a spider penis somehow despite being terminally online. I'm not even sure I pictured an insect penis of any kind. Oh my god I need to lie down.
>>147233321If I had Spiderpowers I would kill people in Minecraft who replied to me on 4chan with walls of text.
With great power comes great responsibility.
>>147226882>you get to make your own multi purpose web shooters that actually do more than suckHa ha yeah, I'm sure my genius intellect can whip a couple of those right up...
>>147227235Good thing Peter has magical powers being a totem, and not has actually been genetically modified
>>147221423web up my gf for spider bondage sex, just like what James Cameron wanted to do in the 90s.
>>147226722Sumo wrestlers don't actually make as much money like you think they do. A bench player from any professional team based sport make more money than the majority of sumo wrestlers.
>>147221423I live in a bumfuck city that doesn't have crime like in Marvel and there isn't a lot of buildings for me to swing around on or hide.So I would just become a professional fighter. With Spider-Man's strength and spider-senses, I would dominate the MMA in one year.
>>147221423Use my powers to gradually destroy Israel.
I'd start shidding and farding
>>147221423Probably nothing. I can't even do roller coasters because I hate that feeling in my gut during a drop, so I don't wanna web swing from tall buildings.
Professional sports would be the way to go I think. You could do any physical job easily but still most well paying ones much prefer experience, but if you go to a stadium and knock a baseball into the next zipcode even once you're going to get a call from someone.
>>147234620Really, just get a friend to record you doing super-strength feats, particularly sports related, make a tiktok for them if you have to. You're not going to get hunted by super villains or something for being famously op, you're going to get scouted for a sports team and likely a massive contract. Of course if you want to fight crime without web-slinging go for it, but you'll still be a vigilante so you might as well go full Punisher and just kill the people you're after.
>>147234620>>147234662Miguel went on Ninja Warrior.
>>147234620That or become an act in Vegas.
>>147221423Would I produce my own web? Because I am not nearly as smart as Peter Parker.
>>147228820Would you lick your tongue as you did it too?
>>147230801I hate these type of women, they're too perfect and make me mad I'll never marry or even kiss one of them
>>147231775https://youtu.be/hEpdKi-iBcM?si=j46Q0yGB8ZhSKnGk&t=47
>>147221450>Probably go into professional sports of some kind.This. You’d be the most unbeatable combat sport champion, you’d be an untouchable running back, you’d set Olympic records in track and field. Literally go down as the greatest multi sport athlete of all time.Fight crime as MJ fucks some clown named Paul and some little black kid tries stealing your clout? Fuck that. Gimme 9 figure deals to pummel D tackles like Bo Jackson, win gold medals and fuck actually successful actresses rather than LARPers like MJ. Jackpot, baby.
>>147221509If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of webs in that first-class cabin
>>147221423Depends. Do i get mechanical web shooters or organic ones? Do i also get the intelligence most Spidermen have?
>>147224801He didn't kill Miles.>>147224871Not people, just joggers. Give 'em all ass cancer with my radioactive spider-jizz.>>147233321On the one hand, yeah, absolutely these commies you're talking about are absolute 'tards. But on the other hand there's so much food waste in North America that if profit were not an overriding concern a lot of hunger could be offset. But the commies really ought to buy into what they're selling and start a farm. They'll learn the actual value of labour.
>>147221423Probably open 4chan and shitpost about whatever is on my mind like i always doIm a boring person
Alright, in this scenario, would I need to be more worried about the government or Disney trying to capture me? Government for obvious reasons, but Disney seeing me swing around in a costume with actual web swings would put a target on my head to be captured to perform forever.
>>147221423Murder ever oligarch in the world. I'd start with whomever is richest and work my way down. Since wealth inherited, I would have to kill their entire family. If I miss anyone, they have the ultimatum to give to a fund I use for those that need it most. I won't need. My life is full and complete killing oligarchs.I only stop when the country I'm killing in agrees to disband their oligarchy system. For example, America is a civil oligarchy so everything involving the legal system is now democratic socialism. The people decide how much a lawyer, cop, or politician gets paid. They decide how much one costs to hire. Fees for crimes. You get the idea. Harvard, and elitist schools like it must be completely destroyed. Nothing of them remains, not even records.Since America will never agree to this and Russia (warlord oligarchy) definitely won't agree to this, I live a long life killing rich people. Maybe I'll be generous an rape their wives/daughters to let them live, but only if the oligarch watches (he'll die no matter what).
>Ctrl+F "rape"
>>147221423I'd be more excited about the prospect of not having to wear glasses anymore and having perfect vision
>>147221423Probably become a pro baseball player . I'd just tell the manager to make me a DH and don't bother me for anything else.
>>147221423I wouldn't become a vigilante super hero, I would probably join the fire department though and help them out and become a famous hero without pissing off al qaeda or the cartel.
>>147221423I love spider man, but he has shit powers. I probably would only do sports with it. He cannot even rob a bank that much easier. If you rob one bank with your powers then everyone would know it was you if you ever use your powers again.I'd much rather get jean grey's powers without the phoenix raping me.
>>147221423>>147238343Also spiderman regenerates faster and has good reflexes with the spider sense, but guns can still kill you.
>>147236718This sounds like you don’t enjoy baseball that much then. 162 games is going to be a slog for you then. 82 on the road sometimes playing 11-14 days in a row. Sure the top 1 percent make half a billion but that’s over ten years in your 30s and following 7 years of team control when you get underpaid. If you don’t love the sport that’s a miserable way to make your money. With football you could be the best RB of all time, demand guaranteed money for 5 seasons totaling almost 200 and then, given the health and stats would be absurd, cash out on a second contract. Only a 17 game schedule (realistically 20 with playoffs cause you’d be unstoppable on offense) and you’d make more in less time. Very little skill or know-how required either since you wouldn’t even need to know how to catch or run plays. Just hold on to the ball with your sticky hands and blast defense into submission jamming it up the center. Team could cheap out on the o-line and QB and funnel you more money.
>>147222006Just find a lady immune to radiation or got her powers from radioactive animals.
>>147227235But it grows back, right?
