Good morning, grandpa. Welcome to 2026, when the newspaper comics will be funny again. I've got a great feeling about it, grandpa. A real prognostication. Today marks the start of the third year of these threads. I'll be celebrating with some data from year two, but don't expect it to be too interesting. That'd be out of character with the funnies.
draw the cat while you wait...no really, draw her. do it. this is your moment! this is what you've been training for!
the first serials of 2026>>151909677
>>151909685
>>151909691
>>151995800bonus characterization
>>151909712 stat #1: the average duration of these threads is a smidge under 38 hours - Monday evening. but that's inflated by some outliers. the median is 26.5 hours - Monday morning. the Sunday funnies rarely persist past Sunday.
>>151909723 foiled again!
>>151909748
>>151909760
>>151909777 stat #2: so, what about those outliers? in 2025, seven threads lasted for more than 72 hours. remarkably, two threads broke 100 hours. and one thread lasted all the way to Friday - on April 13, the week before 4chan went dark, the Funnies persisted for more than 132 hours.
>>151995786Sam is a retard witholding important information. As a professional coin nerd he should have an idea of the approximate size of the missing coins. If they're small enough, they could be hidden in the can. Otherwise, on top of/under the vending machine would make for decent impro hiding spots.
>>151909797 Tarzan is kind of a dick
mazel tov?
>>151995786Vannee's got some powerful "I paint the back window of Mexican contractor's truck" energy in that drawing.High praise.
>>151995894new year, same old butts
>>151995880Was that the week someone posted the (official?) Wannabe porn?
stat #3: thread duration correlates to post count. shocking, I know. however, the longest lasting thread did not have the most posts. that distinction goes to October 12, with 268 total, edging out the 245 on April 13
alf
>>151995905that was the week we had a...discussion...about webcomics in these threads. it also includes a few ghost posts after the site went down.
stat #4: if those were the winner, what were the losers? five threads lasted less than 20 hours, which is a pretty low bar to clear. but only one thread has the distinction of not making it to Monday: July 6, which lasted only 13.34 hours. it burned bright and fast, like a firework.
>>151995905I beg your pardon, but I think I saw the full pic of Rule 34 one time, so it's not last. And yes, I'm back from my time back at Florida for the holidays. And I am already disgusted at what happened to Thatababy, which.......... well I'll give off my thoughts and your's when we get to that comic.
>>151996023dreaming about the wealth he gave up
>>151995786>how to draw cassandra cat>no hit of clothesBASED
stat #5: interestingly, as with the longest-lasting threads, the thread that persisted the least amount of time also doesn't have the fewest posts. July 6 had 155, while May 4 had a paltry 130 but lasted three hours longer
the classic strips are now in 2004
>>1519957861&4; Football's lace & Crow's feetReeky took a job as a vending machine coin collector, spent the coins in the vending machine, so he can collect them later during the nighttime. The sugar consumption and rattling sounds the coins make in the can would have been automatic giveaways in the other case.P.S.- Whose bright idea is it to place a vending machine that close to a coin shop?Pig's tail, Flipped bee, Branch from the top-left of the tree, Wood chipping to the left of the chipping pile, Leg length of the hanging birb, Leaf from the apple that's about to be monched on by the duckd.) 1938
stat #6: the mean and median post counts are much more convergent. we average 192 posts, and the mean is 189. what a neat distribution
brutal
stat #7: enough big-picture stuff. surprisingly no one, Slylock garnered the most replies 50 weeks out of the year, holding onto its crown without any real competition. (more on the two exceptions later)
>>151996087Plausible hypothesis, except we don't know what kind of coins we're dealing with. If they're from another country or no longer in circulation, the machine will not accept them,
stat #8: but how many sleuths do we have? well, ~11 folks consistently comment on the furry sleuth's escapades, but it has ranged from 4 (on May 4 - as goes Slylock, so goes the thread) to as high as 20 (when Weirdly ditched his clothes on November 30)
>>151995786>Rosa’s cheese shopI like how Rosebuds is getting these references in Slylock Fox
stat #9: Slylock also has the distinction of being the only strip to have both the first and second most replies in the same thread. on August 31, there were two official Slylocks, and each got 11 attempted solutions
>>151996201Wasn’t that the one that had the rosebuds crossover?
stat #10: the runner-up for replies was Rosebuds, by a country mile. thanks to the tireless efforts of it's totally Dee and dedicated fans, Rosebuds gets multiple posts and a solid cohort of replies every single thread
>>151996265yup. and a bikini-clad fox in the other one.
>>151996329
stat #11: the bronze / 3rd place finisher for most replies is a toss-up between Wannabe and Popeye. yes, I got tired counting. McKenzie has her stans, while Popeye was getting consistent engagement thanks to Hy Eisman's passing and the Lovecraftian arc.
yes, that's a native caricature in 2026.>how
>>151996382
stat #12: on seven occasions, no comic other than Slylock got >3 replies. but that's the nature of the funnies: some weeks, there's just nothing to say.
>>151996407
>>151996233This one probably broke karstens.
stat #13: I fucked up the alphabetical order of Macanudo and Preteena too many times to count
extortion
first Nancy of the Cash era
>>151996465But is sluggo still lit?
stat #14: y'all generated more than 80 original artworks and edits! mostly thanks to the weekly Slylock doodles of tier-list anon. you're a gentleman and a scholar, and I appreciate your contributions each week.
>>151996469
ha
trumpscare
stat #15: over 52 weeks, the OP image came from 36 different comics. Argyle Sweater and Garfield had the most appearances, with 4 each. my only criteria is what I think is funny or thematic for the week, so that's a surprising amount of variety
>>1519964091 Parrot2 Grey Turtle(they have beaks too you know!)3 Shoebill4 Flamingo5 Flamingo #26 La Creatura7 Eagle8 Frooty Loops
stat #16: remember when I said Slylock had the most replies except for two weeks? well, Rosebuds took the crown on July 13 and August 24. that's quite a feat. is it technically shilling? who cares. you go, sisters
>polar bearsubtle
>>151996022the children yearn for the foundry
they were never heard from again
>>151996710Don't get me wrong, Jonathan Lemon is a good cartoonist and how he treated Alley Oop with serialized dailies and a kidified version on Sundays and his original comic, Rabbits Against Magic is decent at least, but how he is treating Thatababy is really awful to look at. Thatababy looks like he has a tan and the dad now looks like Stu Pickles. It's just not as good as Paul Trapp's designs. And this look had just started a few days ago, as 2026 began. I wasn't aware of the redesign until last night. I say this redesign is the 9/11 of the funnies, as if there are enough tragities of the funnies already.
>>151996710>>151996722>Insert Binding of Isaac joke here
>>151996735But the way, new meme template.
stat #17: the comics last year produced more than a dozen reaction images. that sounds impressive until you consider there were ~5000 strips to pull from. yeesh.
not a stat, but just reminding everyone that Wannabe was picked up for syndication in 2025. we also saw the end of the Phoebe dailies, the untimely demise of Candorville, and the announcement of a Macanudo TV show that will totally, definitely happen
lotta aliens this week
z is for zebra. but here's zits, anyway. that's all I've got this week, except for a chart. thanks, as always for tuning in, and thanks to the other guys who post!
>>151996837the chart in question. best I can tell, thread engagement doesn't correlate to the OP, the quality of the Slylock, or the amount of strips posted. it's more a function of the time of year and whether people are around or on vacation, with lulls around July and December.just wanted to thank you all again and wish a happy new year. I can identify a bunch of you each week by writing style. that or I'm a schizo. anyway, please know your contributions are always appreciated in this very small community.
>>151996465>>151996508Huh, this actually looks nice!
>>151996870Thank you for doing all this
>>151996870These stats sure did grab my attention by a couple of minutes more. Not expecting them but flattered.Happy New Year.
>>151996632Question is, was the volcano MADE of mystery meat, or did it just throw meat everywhere when it erupted?
>>151997298This week, our favorite sisters got their motors runnin'.
>>151997312And someone's wife showed up.>>151996295>it's totally DeeWait, do you mean me?
>>151997332>do you mean me?no, but I'm pretty sure he's here some weeks. the Rose is Rose stuff was the biggest clue
>>151996735I've always hated Thatababy.>>151997312>hitting Marialol>>151996594>not hitting Blutolmao>>151996586what a qt unicorn>>151996329what the fuck is this shit supposed to be>>151996074>another Cathy strip where the joke is that a character can list off a bunch of shitthis fucking bitch should just draw her naked already>>151996064this strip lives rent free in my head, gud shit
>>151996213I never get the hate for NuFamily Circus, stuff like this is honestly a breath of fresh air compared to the usual christmas strips.
>>151997697Because NuFamily Circus is a zombie strip that's in perpetual reruns but updates the art to be "modern"
>>151995786I'm just not happy with how the double balloon comes out, I can't do the tweety shit where it looks both cute and cartoony. It's much easier to do as a melonhead or a simple heart shape.
>>151995786i did it. i have drawn an cat.i agree with the other anon, that double circle thing is jank. i hate drawing. you have failed me, slylock fox how to draw corner, but i did it For Her.
OFFICIAL TIER LISTMY (MOB-FACED) WIFE TIER:>>151996779>>151997332SLYLOCK TIER:>>151995786CHUCKLE TIER:Mary WorthThe Argyle SweaterArlo & JanisBaby BluesBig NateCrankshaftDark Side Of The HorseDustinFoxtrotGarfieldKatzenjammer KidsNancy (both) (I dig this style.)Ollie & QuentinPhoebe And Her UnicornRosebudsTina's GroovePeanuts (Classic)One Big Happy (Classic)COMFY TIER:PicklesBreaking Cat NewsDennis The MenaceMacanudoSherman's Lagoon"INSATIABLE HUNGER" TIER:>>151996134>>151996354All others DNQ. Honorable mention to Family Circus for making me feel a way. Shout-out to OP for giving me a shout-outThanks, as always, OP (and the other guys, too). I appreciate having an excuse to read these things, and having a convenient way to do it.
>>151999076i've been seeing "mob faced girl" threads elsewhere every fucking day and i'm already starting to hate whatever the fuck it is by association
>>151995822In my experience they last until Monday evening.A rare exception is Wednesday.
Thank you OP for keeping this up. At this point these threads are like the one good thing that keeps me coming here
>>151996074That's a bowl of Sweet'n'Low packets. Does Cathy have the diabeetus?
>>151999076>>151998992cute cats
>>151996521And a only-tangenitally-related Rocky Horror reference as a bonus! Real BOOMER NEWSPAPER HOURS going on today.
>>151996668"nothing ever happens," said the polar bear. and he was right
>>151995786Okay but only because you asked
>>151997312someone last week mentioned they were annoyed by how weird the motorcycle looks but i feel like even with the cartoony appearance, with just the general styling and traits (flat seat, upright position, big tank, single exhaust with single header so it's a one-cylinder thumper), someone could make a good guess as to what it is. ignoring how in the first strip it seems to be just a couple metal pieces floating in THE VOID, the triangular bit to the left makes me want to say triumph but i dunno what singles they made and all the ones i'm thinking of/seeing are actually parallel twins, yet the last comic shows in panels 2 and 3 that it's definitely one exhaust pipe and no joined manifold so the next question is what kind of ungodly engineering goes into a single-cylinder thumper to handle a human of that size riding it and still reaching acceptable speeds? maybe it's an old cb125 or something, but the painted bit under the seat looks more like ventilated metal in the comic, while the part that should be the cylinder head's cooling fins is solid instead. many questions.i wonder if any bike nerds can figure it out. i only know car nerd shit
>>151995884Or in the vending machine.
>>151995786I'm not good at following instructions.
>>151996074128 Megabit?
Is Heart of the City really that bad?
>>151996367You know that the Katzenjammer Kids are on reruns? It ended in 2006 when Hy Eisman stopped to focus on Popeye and is running in syndication.
>>151995923He's back, in mountain form!>>151996059So what I'm getting here is that Ensign Kenny's girlfriend is now single.
>>152000283It is aggressively... there. The characters are both ugly and indistinguishably bland, and the writing seems to be totally unaware of how anything told through panels works. The soap opera strips get more laughs out of me.
>>151995786I wonder if the Slylock movie is still being made?
>>152000823He's also dead now.
>>151996465>>151996508How we feeling about new Nancy? Im going to miss Olivia's humor because these arent that funny but they're cute and the art is fantastic. Better comic at least than Gilchrist.
>>152000127based
anon where is Non Sequitor>>151996586I wish we got that Nick cartoon out of this>>151996594Popeye is odd for me because the comics dont look like how I'd expect Popeye to look, and Im not even sure if it has the Popeye vibe, but whenever I read one of these its funny so I cant complain>>151996710>>151996735Forgot Thatbaby seemed to get a new artist at the same time Nancy did. I never saw it before but these new ones have been fine for me, let me see an old classic
>>152002252>anon where is Non SequitorRight after Nancy.
>>152002252>Popeye is odd for me because the comics dont look like how I'd expect Popeye to look, and Im not even sure if it has the Popeye vibe, but whenever I read one of these its funny so I cant complainPopeye's currently done by the same guy as the webcomic Something*Positive. It's slightly toned down for the funny pages, but it's definitely his writing style.
>>152002277Oh I see, I was searching with a space.>>151996495On that note this was funny but Idk if I buy her as someone who'd use AI>>152002307Going through these and I enjoy it. May start keeping up, I want to read more this year and webcomics are one of the things I want to keep up with more on that front. His Popeye work has been good.
>>151995995to this day i still can't tell if you're supposed to like beetle or not
>>151997970>>151998992I think the real problem is the big hair. He sets everything up with the expectation that you can imagine that third, larger circle on your own with no help.
stat #18: Monty fucking sucked for around three quarters of the year. However, it was still overall ten times better than NuHeart, Fred Bassett and Crankshaft which in turn were one hundred times better than Doonesbury, which has had to use AI generated images as a crutch for the three libtard boomers still reading it
>>152002893Monty is like Dilbert if the Dilbert comic was more like the Dilbert cartoon, and Dogbert was replaced by a vaguely dog shaped robot.>>151996458Speaking of, I just realized he's carrying weights like an anime training arc or something. I thought he was wearing a plate carrier and a bunch of magazine pouches. Oops.
Scott Adams is on his deathbed
>>152002893you're really gonna diss my boi Fred Bassett like that
>>152003072Please don't bring hate and negativity into this thread. Thank you
>>152003236Nah, he's anti-snowflake. He'd support it.
I didn't even realize it was Sunday.>>151996607>cloning a pitbullYou can't give the fucking things away, and this douche is going to pay thousands to have another one made. Insane.
>>151999814That was me who complained last week. And it still looks off to me. But it has enough detail to the drawing that it seems like he used a reference. But I don't know bikes at all. I got some biker uncles, but it didn't rub off on me.Might be it was some more specific reference early on, but for fear of copyright they modified it to be non-specific.
>>151997970>>151998992>>151999766>>152000127Great work, boys.
>>151995831Mary Worth is fucking great I don't what anyone says
>>151996219I don't get it.
>>151996465Going back to the Ernie Bushmiller designs, thankfully.
>>151996219Gas leak?
>>152003837Only those without taste can dislike Mary Worth. It's the best soap opera strip bar none.
>>151996382Damn girl, I know you're still living with your folks but you're a goddamned adult, act like it.
>>152000283If you've only been reading it the last few months, know that it has improved since the beginning. When the author first took over, it was almost literally nothing happening in any given strip. Which I think is a mix of the author being not that skilled, and also that she's writing for collections. A lot of the new comics are doing that.
>>151996382I wish Luann would get pregnant.
>>152004082Ah well. I guessed wrong. I wrote that presuming that this would be a topic of the weirdos who post in the Luann comment section. But, for once, I underestimated how pervy they would get.
>>152003977I know, it's just Mary and the reader looking into the ridiculous lives of total idiots.
>>151996023>>151996029Fun fact, Blondie is officially public domain as of last week.
>>151995901butts
>>151995782I didn't even realize today was Sunday until I saw this thread, thanks OP.
>>151995901This is the power of having already being #cancelled
>>152004097>Luann comment sectionwho>>152004251what about the Dagwood sandwich?
>>152004097Every time I've poked my head in there it's been ultra conservative old weirdos. Type of people who think Phil is a catch.
>>152006597I get the sense it's people who were really into Luann when they were younger. Basically super-old 4channers, still posting on comment sections. It's like if we moved our comments about Wannabe and Rosebuds into a comment board.And, honestly, were more dedicated to it than we tend to be here. Those old weirdos show up every day.
>>151995923I kinda respect the Dolemite pun for how brazenly esoteric it is.
>>151995786Maybe I've missed them but I feel there's been a real lack of waifus in Slylock as of late.
>>152006921My impression was that it's parents whose kids have flown the coop and now Luann is their daughter.
>>151996321I wonder if he met Eric, Olaf and Baleog in there.
>>151996594And here I was half expecting a reenactment of Kenshiro vs Heart.
>>152007020Well, they're awfully horny for their daughter then. Maybe it's changed, but it was true for a long time. Used to be a talking point on the Comic Curmudgeon comment section.
>>152002119I feel similarly. The art is a massive improvement, but with the humor being downgraded I'm not sure if it's worth the trade-off.
>>152007380Maybe we're reading different comments sections.
>>152002119>>152007572First of all yeah the art is great. Second, I think it's too early to to form an opinion about Cash's writing. And third you act like James' writing was good or funny, she was just better (and way better) than Gilchrist. The only thing anyone can say otherwise is "Sluggo is Lit"
>>152007622>Maria gets radicalized
>>151996329Charlotte has the right idea.
>>151996339How come she's still wearing bare feet in her flats when there's still snow on the ground?
>>151996465Will Nancy be cashing it in?
>>152007572I dont think I'm going to hate the era, that being said I'm sure I'm going to miss Jaimes a lot. I think we need to see more like the other anon said, though I feel like Jaimes' era clicked within the first week. I doubt I'll end up preferring what we have now even if it does look nice. >>152007855She wasnt perfect and you can take or leave how "modern" the comic was but she was definitely funny and the characters were well defined. That being said I agree better than Gilchrist is a low bar (Scott is better than Gilchrist), but it's still worth saying though.
>>151996632I take it those socks are part of the school uniform?
>>151996910kek
>>151997798Part one
>>151996425You did worse, there's no Preteena!
>>151996449making someone else's tragedy about you
>>152010591Well, the thread is off to a good start, then.
>>152010591>>152012524Here you go, Anon.Enjoy.
>>152002119Olivia's jokes were cute for the first couple of months but you can't get away with "I'm toying with the medium" being your only punchline forever. Any time she tried to do anything else (ex: that miserable storyline about the three rock cult) it fell flat. Because of that, I'm gonna be cautiously optimistic.
>>152006939It'a not.
>>151996134Least he could do is give poor Crispin a free cut.
>>151996329I'm fine with this comic going all in on trying to be cozy (it's like the only thing this comic could have going for it atp). But what puts me off here is their attempts at "engaging" with the audience through these half-hearted questions. I just don't see why they would have them when they don't post up letters on these strips anyway. It makes the comic feel patronizing and insincere.
>>151999223It just means "plain, background NPC" type of character, where they have simple features that's easy to draw. It's why Mob Psycho 100 has an artstyle where most characters look simplistic and unassuming.
>>151995936too real :-/
>>151997726This is why toy catalogs were invented.
>>151995936Janis is super cute here, and I like how they're just having parallel conversations, but it's not shown in a real negative way or anything. Very "long married couple" accurate.
>>151995936Is that a Finding Nemo reference?
>>152000283>>152004061I just find it frustrating because genuinely I want it to be better, but any improvements the strip have are marginal and move at a glacial pace.
>>152018825No, I agree. I don't have anything personal against the new author. It's just not very good, neither the art nor writing. It's probably not the worst author swap. I think it's Gil Thorp which is absurd in how bad it is, but I also cared more about old Heart than old Gil Thorp.Though, if you can find really old Gil Thorp reruns (50s and 60s) it's pretty fun.Kind of went on a tangent there.
>>152018889Give us more comic tangents
>>152013157Many thanks, Anon.
>>152000283Since the Funky storytime just wrapped up, I feel compelled to contrast with that. Both Batiuk and Steenz seem to only be interested in telling long form stories, but they're trapped (by the allure of a steady gig) in a situation that demands their work provide daily progression and daily gratification.By the time Act 2 and the big stories start, Batiuk had cut his teeth on 20 years of gag-a-day. He'd done enough comedic story lines in that time to learn how to manipulate the week; when he wanted a big emotional hit to be drawn out, he knew how to get it on a Sunday. He'd also learned the importance of repetition, both so daily readers could get the impending status quo changes through their thick heads and so sporadic readers could have any chance of following along. There's a lot to be said for Batiuk making awful choices in what he wanted to do with the strip, but he at least knew how to work the medium, and how to work it to his advantage. Steenz's prior experience is a pile of self-published work, a few anthology pieces, and graphic novels where she was working with a writer. Everything she had done before had been distant, one-off deadlines and measured in pages, not panels. None of what she had done before prepared her for taking over a daily strip. All of the problems stem from that. Sunday strips are a critical tool if you're trying to tell a story, and she's often burning them on preschool level puzzles. When they're actually comics, they're often (as >>152004061 points out) jilted and end without warning, almost as if it just happened to be the next 5-7 panels that were clipped arbitrarily from a larger work. Weekday strips do the same, with new characters sometimes getting identified once (so you better hope you didn't miss Monday). The first few years of modern Heart were someone fighting against the constraints of a newspaper strip, and it's only recently that Steenz is starting to understand that this is a fight she can't win.
>>151995786missing some crucial steps
>>152021065Still, I really like Charlotte and her family.
>>152021065Seems legit. Though you'd think that Steenz would know what she was getting into.>Sunday strips are a critical tool if you're trying to tell a story, and she's often burning them on preschool level puzzles.>When they're actually comics, they're often (as >>152004061 points out) jilted and end without warning, almost as if it just happened to be the next 5-7 panels that were clipped arbitrarily from a larger work.>Weekday strips do the same, with new characters sometimes getting identified once (so you better hope you didn't miss Monday). Yes. This.As a fan of old Heart, these three things alone were enough to turn me away from the new comic.
>>152019541>Ana and McKenzie aren't her friendsUnless this is a situation where Rosa's so autistic she only assumes they're just being friendly with her
>>152022939Is McKenzie even her friend? All I can remember is her showing up with deliveries
>>152022939Most likely the latter. I can easily see Rosa being genuinely surprised to realize she and Ana are friends.
>>152019541cute bnuuy
>>152014400>that miserable storyline about the three rock cultI thought that was the Narbonic artist in that guest runRegardless I do agree a lot of the storylines like the robotics club dragged too long for little payoff
>>151996650You know times are rough when even Sally Forth is getting existential.
>>152021277>boobathank you for your service
