Would you marry a squirrel, /co/?
that would be NUTS nigga
Best ship
>>153467559Is this the thread?
>>153467583>humanized
Yes.
>>153467559HeyHey...chestnuts
>>153467583Hazel my beloved>>153467559Me and Slappy would get along well now that we're both old farts.I've never been into old ladies but we could at least sorta sit and decay together eating walnut fig dough surprise.
>>153467559fuck yea
>>153467559Fuck fuck fuck what is this from it feels so familiar but I can’t tell if I actually do remember it or if I’m just going to go crazy trying to recall a false positive
>>153468339Hey arnold
>>153468361Thank you, I knew I remembered it from somewhere
>>153467559
>>153468677Damn. Imagine playing with her jiggly softball sized body
Sure.
>>153467559What is this from? And no, you don't marry wild animals. You just marry humans and anthros. Wild animals don't know anything about matrimony. They just know fuckin'.
>>153469296>>153468361
>>153469038
>>153469296Everything gets marriedEven animals and spiders
>>153469296>And no, you don't marry wild animals.Just so you know this wasn't real.
>>153469415Can I marry a spider
>>153467611this shall be THE thread
>>153467583>Good Ending where Merlin makes the Squirrel Human so the Kingdom never falls into ruin
>>153467559Why would a squirrel want to have anything to do with me?
>>153469843Always liked the fat one more than the small one.
>>153469296>Wild animals don't know anything about matrimony.Plenty of animals mate for life. Humans are only moderately monogamous by the standards of the animal kingdom in general.
>>153467559Furry “fandom” goes on >>>/trash/
>>153468188Slappy seems like a good lady to settle down with.
flying squirrels
yes i wouldpic related is a variant of squirrel not a mouse shut up
>>153470966Based.
>>153470184get with the times, grandpa>>153471254who is she
>>153467583>>153467714
>>153470172They mate for life. They don't MARRY. There's a difference. Nobody's rolling up to the church to be the best man for his male and female golden retrievers.
>>153472178>Nobody's rolling up to the church to be the best man for his male and female golden retrievers.Speak for yourself motherfucker
>>153470150She was the BEST one. She wanted to FUCK, and right now. The young one just a shy virgin that wanted to kiss and hold hands, and wasn't aware that there was more to it.
>>153472178>There's a difference.What's the difference? In substance. If there is only a difference in words used to refer to it, we've merely discovered synonyms.
>>153469697Gonna follow it home.Start a whole family.
>>153472368>What's the difference?Ask the gays.
>>153467559Why? Am I trying to cement an alliance with the Squirrel King by marrying his daughter? Maybe if I do that they'll stop dropping acorns on my roof.
>>153472645They'll drop MORE in tribute.
Hazel thread?
>>153472477I asked you.
>>153469902I love the idea some use where it's like, his second chance. a historical do-over so he can end up better off this time. That's very satisfying.>>153472178They are common-law married. Like my dad and his fourth wife that he never got a license for.>>153472418This is like Bortposting tier. Well done.>>153472990I would be super okay with that. She is wonderful.
>>153472990>human TFCowards like you make me sick.
>>153472477I said ask the gays because there is a difference between shacking up and marriage. They wouldn't settle for shacking up and pushed for "done in a church, recognized by God" marriage. Marriage is a religious ceremony, not just deciding to mating for life
>>153473651Anon, they wanted tax breakswhy the government didn't simply say "Fine, no more tax breaks for married people then. I forgot why we even did that" I have no idea.also they wanted to visit people in hospitals, which.. why is it legal for a hospital to block anyone from visiting you if you want them to? That's like, double reverse unlawful imprisonment.
>>153467583Did she really love him though?
>>153473651You have it backwards, they always were able to get religously married in any church that would have them. They wanted regular legal recognition. People have been able to just have a non-church wedding at a courthouse for forever, religion has not been the arbiter of that for a long time, and it's unconstitutional for it to be if marriage has any legal status at all. They could have also changed all other legal marriages to 'civil partnerships' or whatever, would also have been valid. But Christianity or even religion does not have a monopoly on the idea of pair bonding or a trademark on the word 'marriage'. Shit's ancient.
>>153473673>I forgot why we even did thatBecause, when you subsidize something, you get more of it. And since marriages are the most successful model for raising well-adjusted children, successful civilizations institutionalize it.>why is it legal for a hospital to block anyone from visiting you if you want them to?Medical information is confidential by default, with very few people granted access by default (heterosexual boyfriends/girlfriends do not). It's not that hospitalized gay partners were blocking each other, it's that an incapacitated gay partner in a hospital couldn't specifically grant access to the partner.>>153473651>I said ask the gays because there is a difference between shacking up and marriage.And I asked what the difference is between marriage and MATING FOR LIFE as many animals do. Marriage involves a committed sexual relationship where the partners are bound together through hardship for mutual benefit. This WORKS WELL for k strategists raising offspring, which is why it's found widely both in nature and in human societies.
>>153473722Is that what they're teaching you in the public schools?>>153473740but well-adjusted people are not voters. The government hasn't had that as their best interest.. like.. ever? at least not more than 40% of the time, and certainly not within my lifetime. They want dysfunctional dependents. Not people who could function just fine without them.>confidentialugh, THAT thing again? That just started when people got all 'boohoo you warned someone I had AIDS'. Sorry, when you're sick or injured, secrets go out the window. Get your clothes off, get back to health, and let as many people see as wish to visit you. Bah. anyone who could use medical information to somehow harm you needs to have some other restriction beyond 'not allowed to have it.'now post more cute Hazels
>>153473798>The government hasn't had that as their best interest.. like.. ever?>They want dysfunctional dependents.When governments face external threats, they want a capable and united citizenry to make the state powerful. When governments do not, they want a weak and fragmented citizenry to solidify their control. The policy in the US shifted with the dissolution of the Soviet Union.>Sorry, when you're sick or injured, secrets go out the window. That isn't actually how hospitals work.
>>153467559Maybe....
>>153473870rather, with the baffling -belief- in the dissolution of the soviet union.>isn't how they workno fucking shit, if I thought that's how it worked, why would I be gunning for it? My entire argument is that's how it's supposed to work, and how it used to work. well sort of, hospitals actually had even MORE weirdly fucked up control over admittance. Didn't let the father in during the birth etc. But they also didn't worry about preserving your medical data privacy blah blah. That is 100% Philadelphia aids boohooing. You can't fix misuse of data by restricting its access, that's just pants.
>>153473911>rather, with the baffling -belief- in the dissolution of the soviet union.It literally did. What are you talking about?
>>153473970AnonI'm not advocating watching the news or anything, but are you serious? You can't possibly still believe that, we all figured it out by the late 90s.You can "officially change the name of your country" all you want, it's still a state-controlled-economy dictatorship where rulers serve indefinitely, disappear dissidents, and -actively pull Bond Villain shit where they poison people with ricin and radioactive isotopes and shit-
>>153473798>Is that what they're teaching you in the public schools?I was an adult back way before gay marriage was legalized, you can't gaslight me on this one.
>>153474015I guess I missed the part where you specified "who would have them" because yeah, I suppose that's true.But broadly, historically, no. The church decides this shit. Or sea captains, but only in fiction.
>>153474015>squirrel-fleshlight.jpg
>>153473989But the Soviet UNION was a larger, unified country that broke apart into several smaller countries as the practical dysfunction of communism overpowered the will to keep it together. The Soviet Union could act as a polar counterweight to the United States, exerting political power around the world and promoting a revolutionary order opposed to older powers. Russia on its own cannot, which left the US unopposed in its world policing.
>>153474041>The church decides this shit.Which church?
>>153474145I'm not saying countries didn't successfully secede, Anon. I'm saying the USSR is still actively slaughtering those people for doing so. It's unopposed because at this point they call the shots here. We let them in. We've never been more 'opposed.'>>153474158Well there weren't a whole fuckton of a lot til pretty recently.
The gay marriage derailment wasn't enough? Now we're arguing about the USSR?
>>153474407>I'm saying the USSR is still actively slaughtering those people for doing so.In Kyrgyzstan? Or perhaps the situation in Ukraine is different, what with the flirtation with NATO membership. Keep in mind that modern Russia has a little over half the population of the 1990 Soviet Union. The difference in land area between the Soviet Union and modern Russia is larger than all but six countries. It's a big difference.And keep in mind the actual point. >>153473870>When governments face external threats, they want a capable and united citizenry to make the state powerful. When governments do not, they want a weak and fragmented citizenry to solidify their control.I mentioned the dissolution of the Soviet Union as when this changed in the US, because that's what happened.>>153474407>Well there weren't a whole fuckton of a lot til pretty recently.Christianity is only a couple millennia old, and has only ever encompassed a minority of Earth's population. Marriage has existed in humans since prehistory, and is institutionalized in all sorts of religions around the world. Because it works, and institutions which recognize that propagate themselves more effectively into the future.>>153474537Anon seemed ignorant of the implications of its dissolution, and, somehow, that it dissolved.
>>153474537god i love /co/'s brand of extreme crippling autism
>>153474537it's all tied together>>153474676yes anon, we're on the same side. I'm just clarifying. The reason we stopped fighting them isn't that anything changed on their end, it's that we stopped fighting back
>>153474842>it's all tied togetherTrue, it's no secret squirrels hate gays and communists.
>>153467559Yes
>>153467559Can she dance?
>>153474537Post soviet squirrels then
>>153467583
>>153475661Better dead than red!t. grey squirrel
>>153475012booba
>>153474218Her neighbor Candy was hot as FUCK.
>>153476049Best squirrel
>>153475629wtf, is this real?
>>153477235No, it's a cartoon. Silly anon.
Absolutely.
>>153467611>squirrel girl>is a human with tail and ears
>>153478203The ears are part of the costume, actually
>>153470966Since time immemorial men have had hardons for fat furry women...
>>153467662she's kinda hot
>>153478203At least she's not Spider-Man. Pretty much the only "spider" trait he have is wall/ceiling-walking ability.
>>153475629Run it backwards and she's doing a strip number.
>>153479087daaang
>>153479218Damn, play it backwards to Crunk music and it gets a LOT better!
I think squirrels suck
>>153480568That's why I want to marry one.
>>153467571deez nuts
Rivals already gives you everything you need from Squirrels
>>153480568Same. It's hard to enjoy squirrels in media when they're wreaking havoc around my place IRL. However....
>>153483259
>>153472418shit I just realized I should have named the file "OUR son's a moron"
>>153482625Meh, too human. Fuckin nekomomi slop, only American this time.
>>153477697This being canon is an eye openercartoons really shouldn't be forced to be "on model"
>>153483259Sauce?
>>153484934https://youtu.be/0X_onXvnWhY?t=1379
>>153485906from ice age on ice
Why did the reboot make Secret handsome
>>153485976It's a secret
>>153485906Is this a walkabout mascot?
>>153487905It's a Scratazon.
>>153467559Sorry I'm more of a yinglet guy
>>153485151Kid squirrel sounds like June Foray...
>>153467649>>153473404The based option would be to have her be an anthro squirrel and use it as a chance to have a crossover with a Redwall-like kingdom that she's a part of.
>>153484081This is too human too?
>>153488124whores
>>153491349That's nowhere NEAR human. Or squirrel.
>>153491349You seem confused. I mean Squirrel Girl is too human, and gave a better example of a squirrel babe. I wasn't saying Toska is too human.
>>153471254very prettty
>>153473699Yes, but squirrels are remarkably stupid creatures.
>>153467559https://the-conservatory.fandom.com/wiki/HazelIt's the kingly thing to do.
