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What are some good adages for the trades? Looking to make a list. Thinking of classics like "measure twice, cut once" but also new ones.

>the best part is no part
>it's way easier to remove material than adding it
>>
>it's not gay if you're pitching
>>
>>2890056
consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds
>>
I cut it twice and it's still too short
>>
>Rules exist for the strict adherence of fools, and for the guidance of wise men
>>
>>2890056
For trades, the important part is
… but don’t measure at all if you don’t have to
>>
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>>2890056
>>
>>2890056
Too much schmoo in your kerf
>>
Suck it up, buttercup
>>
>>2890056
horseshoes and hand grenades
>>
>>2890056
What I heard the most. Was...
>Anon, hurry up lazy bitch
>Anon, you can't bury hookers on the job site
>Anon, where are your safety glasses?
>Anon, the break trailer refrigerator is not for storing your bag of uteruses.
Stuff like that?
>>
>cheap
>fast
>right

Pick 1.5
>>
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>>2890056
Think safety: Always use a push stick.
>>
>>2890056
If your only tool is a hammer
Every problem looks like a thumb
>>
close enough for govt work
>>
>>2890056
You get what you get and you don't get upset
>>
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>>2890720
shop rate >x
shop rate if you watch >2x
shop rate if you help >5x
>>
"We're not building a piano here"
"OK, Michelangelo, we don't have all day"
"Is THAT your hammer? LOL"
"Is that YOUR hammer? LOL"
"Is that your HAMMER? LOL"

"the painters will take care of it"
"that's the painters' job"
"do I look like a painter?"
"FUCK the painters, bunch of primadonnas"

Uttered by clients, bosses or both:

Can't you just-

-do it anyway?
-do it again?
-do it later?
-not do it?
-cover it up?
-take it out?
-take it off?
-paint over it?
-ignore it?
-move it?
-work around it?
-get a new one?
-take one from another job?
-stick some putty or something in there?
-fix this one?
-stop asking questions?
-come back tomorrow?
-park somewhere else?
-ignore the manufacturers instructions?
-take that warning label off?
-make that warning light go off?
-make it work?
-make it fail so my insurance will pay for a new one?
-figure something out?
>>
"If you take care of your tools, your tools will take care of you"

"Always use the right tool for the right job"

"Quality tools pay for themselves"

"Its a poor craftsman who blames his tools"
>>
any tool is a hammer if you swing it hard enough
>>
"One oh shit is worth 100 atta boys"
>>
Looks good from far, but far from good.
It is what it is.
Good enough for who it's for.
If you fall off a ladder, you'll be fired before you hit the ground.
>>
>>2890056
>wire coils easier than it stretches.
>never underestimate the power of stupid.
>all you have to do...
heard just before being assigned the shittiest job.

>If I told you, you would know.
>>
>>2890788
>"OK, Michelangelo, we don't have all day"
If Michelangelo had used a roller, he could have painted the Sistene Chapel ceiling in a week.
>>
>>2890257
third time is a charm anon
>>
>ready, ready, GO
>lose sight, lose the fight
>>
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it twice.
>>
ready...
FIRE!
aim...
>>
if you got time to clean
you got time to lean
>>
my favorite one I ever heard was
"get off the roof, you don't do hard enough drugs to be a roofer"

Ive heard
"let the Mexicans do it"
and
"someone else's problem" a lot before I became a contractor.
>>
>>2890056
>It's easier to be forgiven than get permission
>>
>the sheetrock will hold it together
>>
Shit flows downhill
>>
>i dont care who ya are, thats fuckin funny right there

After something incredibly unfunny, racist as hell, or both
>>
>>2890981
>all you have to do...
>heard just before being assigned the shittiest job.
this is so fucking real, along with
>can you just ...
>>
>>2890056
>it's way easier to remove material than adding it
variation on that which is the only variation i've heard:
>you can remove material but you can't put it back.
another one i love:
>the machine will always win
(meaning: respect the machine, don't get pissed off with big tools, or fight them, or use them dangerously: you will die)
>>
>>2890793
>"Its a poor craftsman who blames his tools"
this is literally contradicted by everything else you just said and any tradesman knows that you can't do shit with shitty tools.
no, a good craftsman knows good tools from bad, and you can absolutely blame your tools. here's a new one for everyone, which i will be using from this point onwards:
>bad tools make a bad job
>>
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>>2891301
but racist things ARE funny
>>
>>2891309
You're half-right. A good craftsman will recognize a bad tool, but you can do good work even with poor tools, and a good craftsman will be able to do that -- precisely because he recognizes their weaknesses and works with or around them.
You absolutely can do good work with shitty tools. It just takes longer.
>>
>>2891290
>Shit flows downhill
paydays on friday
all bosses are assholes
>>
>>2890056
If it can’t be done the way it should then it should be done the way it can
>>
presume everyone is trying to fuck you in the ass
>>
>>2890056
"Last one in is the first one hanged"
>>
>>2891309
>this is literally contradicted by everything else you just said

You just figured that out? I guess it makes sense that you'd be slow on the uptake since you seem to think that I either made those truisms up (I didn't) or posted them because I agree with all of them (I dont) just because I posted them

.>>2891383 is correct; like nearly all simplistic "rules" of this kind intended to shut down questions, all of those are easily shown to be contradictory and unreliable...but just like "you get what you pay for" retards still repeat them in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

>inb4 "the exception proves the rule!"

Another stupid saying that really just means "OK you proved that I was wrong but here's why I'm still right"
>>
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>>2890056
>>
>>2890257
Well at least its only short on one end

Also “hey you know that stuff is easier to clean when its wet” when somebody is chipping out a pan with dried mortar or drywall mud in it.
>>
>>2890056
I install custom glass, one of the funniest things I hear about imperfections is
>That's something only we would see
The bitch of it is, 99% of the time we're right. That and checking for level/plumb, or measuring, and going
>eh, it's within a 32nd
when it's absolutely out by more.



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