/fit/ humor thread
>>76709176
>>>/wsg/5991365
>>76709176When i was a teen i went for two years to a taekwondo gym. I quitted it because the gym was full of old and fat women and weak skinnyfat nerds. Everyone hated me because when we trained kicking the pads i went full retard on it and every time i kicked the pads they flew across the whole tatami because of their fucking weak butter hands. I hate normies so much, they ruin everything
>>76709176Quits two minutes into bjj warmup
>>76709375>quitted
>>76709316based russoids, for once
>>76709626No one cares about you're shit language
>>76709685Then why are you speaking it?
>>76709176almost thought that was mighty mouse she was demolishing
>>76709176>>76709375This is the shit they teach in self-defense classes and Krav Maga. Their demonstrations almost always have the attacker standing still with no resistance.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV9-1l5zTEs
>>76709749What the fuck is the context here, is that little asian a chick or just a small dude? She needs a hug
>>76709176Is this the female fighter Anon's been asking about in a different thread? I beat her without getting up.
>>76710109This shit is what he Internet looks like now, when you can no longer call people retarded faggots. These moves are just the irl equivalent of "well I guess you couldn't debunk my theory on the flat earth after all, looks like I just won another debate". Someone running in and dropkicking this fat fuck in the face, killing him instantly is the irl version of when we could still say "you're a retarded fucking faggot nigger, kill yourself you fucking cretin".
>>76709703To make fun of anglo whitoids. They are peak involuntary comedy.
>>76709749hot
>>76710167I'm sorry if I did something to offend you anon
>>76709185Ignorant of their own comedic toothlessness.
>>76710167>Someone running in and dropkicking this fat fuck in the face, killing him instantly is the irl version of when we could still say "you're a retarded fucking faggot nigger, kill yourself you fucking cretin".Personally I think someone dropkicking or just punching him with good technique would be the equivalent of a well-founded argument.Something we need more of in this godforsaken reality.
>>76710167>nowSystema larpers have been the lolcows of the martial arts community since the 00's.
>>76709316If you get out of cities I bet Canada is 0%The colder your country is, the less livable it becomes as a vegetarian
>>76710454Yeah, but you can bring back objects from under the horizon with a powerful enough zoom lens. Because water always finds its level, which is impossible on a spinning ball.
>>76710445This is funny all the way around lmaooooo
>>76710510Lmao dont pull me into some dumb ass argument you fucking retard I was contributing to discussion about the state of the internet.
>>76710167The desperation in how you try to tie these two totally different things together is very strange.
>>76709749is he teaching a class on how to beat your wife?
>>76709316Does eating cow shit count as a vegetarian meal?
>>76709191i don't get it
>>76710109>>76710167>These moves are just the irl equivalent of "well I guess you couldn't debunk my theory on the flat earth after all, looks like I just won another debateI accept your concession. Nothing personnell kiddo. Those moves are just a little too advanced for you.
>>76710167So you willingly fold whenever you're debating a flat earther?
>>76709178
>>76711219Juden Peterstein deserves to be hated for being a zionist wef stooge peddling self-help schlock, but his place was a mess that day because he was moving.
>>76709176>>76709185Lmao
>>76709176I'm not a karatefag but isnt this how learn to do shit? Start slowly doing the moves then go faster as you get learn the right form?
>>76711242I'll hate him for being a pill-addicted retard, I don't really give a shit about all the rest
>>76709887>>76710697Jean Carrillo, he's a french dude who teaches how to defend yourself. Basically he preaches all self-defense courses are useless bullshit and that you have to punch the guy first. Last I've heard of him he was training MMA in L-A.
>>76709749>>76709749that bitch is extremely wet i just know
>>76709749
>>76712469This hurts to watchThis is the person who'll talk to you and unironically say shit like "ye I used to dl 4pl8 but somehow I got injured bro my best days are gone bro"
>>76709185>i went to the doctor>i went to the mountain
>>76711219>JUST GET THE BLOODY JAB BUVKO!>ANYBODY WHO QUESTIONS JEWISH SUPREMACY IS A PSYCHOPATH!I hope he kills himself soon now that he is fading into irrelevance.
>>76709176Damn did Seagal lose weight?
>>76712469how does someone get to this weight with such shit form without injuring themselves?
>>76712692there's not a whole lot of weight on the bar, just really weird plate selection
>>76711242This doesn't even make sense. When you're moving, things are in boxes, not strewn out over the floor and counters.
>>76712692I'm sure he's injured
>>76712707I see an unplugged ac unit, two boxes, a picture unhung, a basket of wires, something wrapped in bubble wrap, and a power drill case. Looks like someone in the process of moving.
>>76712469thats not even 3pl8 by my estimation how the fuck
>>76712731>those tabslel bretty gud. brings me back to the old days
>>76712699>>76712850It's 180kg or almost 400lbs if you go by Olympic color schemes. Still not worth destroying your back over
>>76710109lol systema sucks so much. Even the krav retards at least workout a little bit. I collect pirated martial arts videos because I'm dumb and have tons of systema instructionals and they're all shit. The real gold would be telling you how this guy convinces a room of able bodied Russian men to listen to his every word with reverence but nobody will ever make that video. That is the one impressive part of every "bullshido" type of teacher. They're all master manipulators which would actually be useful to learn
>>76712731what's the humor? he's too skinny for it to be a relevant concern?
>>76709316wtf is going on in mexico? can't be true
>>76709185how do you guys not maul them on the spot?
>>76710535found the well poison specialist
>>76712035brvtal moghow will HOMOs ever recover
>>76713251Rice, beans, veggies, cheese, tortillas can be fire by itself. You can throw in some meat, but it’s not needed.
>>76710167This sissy is out there defending round earth theory for free lmao
>>76709185Grim
>>76709176Me in the back.
>>76712850Are you clinically retarded?
>>76709176>KungPo Fighter II
>>76709749>>767122380:14 her honest smile before she remembers she's on camera and supposed to look sad.
>>76709185Real talk, what could they possibly say? It's legal to film cops, and nothing is being interfered with.
>>76713251>>76714151Vegetarians and vegans ruined their image when they focused on tofu and imitation meat when they could have pushed fish, legumes, grains, and normal food.
>>76710109It's all fun and games until you realize this is essentially how many martial arts, especially bjj, work. You essentially have to agree to be bound by the conventions of the sport you're participating in.Out in the wild though, I'm grabbing the closest large object and swinging for the fences.
>>76714237that sad creature used to be a female
>>76714322still is
>>76712264This just made me real sad. Hope he finds someone to train him one day
>>76714508video looks to be 5 years old. Maybe his hard lifting has kicked in!
>>76712731So, do bees get depressed or not? We need to know.
>>76714556Beekeeper here. Worker bees are insects. Literally. Of course they get depressed. Imagine you're just going along, sniffing flowers and stuff, and then you realize you're just a bug. Depressing as fuark.
>>76709176You know this is an art, right? You have to learn and remember these moves. She is WAY better than you, I can promise you, jack.
>>76709316UmmmmmmmmmmmmWouldnt India have the most everything, I dont get it.
>>76714322>used to
>>76713233There is no difference I think is the humor. He probably sees it, though.
>>76714556>>76714588They don’t live long enough to be depressed, about 1/3 of bees toil their lives away and never taste the honey they create.one of the few creatures like this. Worth noting the social order of the honeybee has a female at its epicenter. This is what will happen unless we overthrow women. Women must be enslaved again. Or else we shall be bred by them into bees who unquestioningly labor our lives away for rewards we shall never taste.
>>76713781Why the fuck are they always posing in public bathrooms? Women do this shit too. On every dating app there's so many pictures of them posing in front of mirrors in public bathrooms, do they not have their own house? What the FUCK?
>>76716440Even in a bathroom at home comes off trashy.
>>76713223>They're all master manipulatorsAre they or so they just attract idiots? If you formed a class teaching this type of shit you'd get some takers, the smarter ones would realise you were full of shit and leave, and you'd be left with absolute morons that think it's real. There's no magical manipulation skill, just being shameless enough to keep trying the same bullshit until you find a taker.
>>76714819>Percentages herp derp
>>76716336Worker bees are female anon. The queen produces males only to get fucked by those males who then die. So with women in charge we will briefly live just to fuck our own mothers.
>>76716440Pump doesn't last long enough is my guess. My pumps only last about 20 min, not enough time to get home and undressed.
>>76716488Wait, I got it wrong, they don't fuck their own queen, they leave the hive to find virgin queens from other hives. Up to you whether this is better or worse.
>>76714262>fish>vegetarianyeah surely vegetarians just need high quality advice from people like you
>>76714257If you film then and then accidently drop the phone and it just happens to shatter, what would you do? Call the cops?
>>76714264Huh? Sparring (aka rolling) is essential to bjj. You cannot advance or even improve if you're not putting your skills to the test against resisting opponents.No one's saying you will dodge a bullet by pulling guard. It's a system to win in grappling.
>>76711219Classic example of that you can have good and bad points/characteristics. In the social media age, people tend to gravitate to black or white positions, but that's rarely how life works. Hope this taught som early buyers a valuable lesson. Like that you can give some good advice and still be a flawed person.Or like my previous colleague who was likely borderline retarded and undoubtedly double digit IQ, but still a pretty good dude and a loyal person. He had your back no matter what and always friendly, but he also thought that playing basketball made you taller. He was a teacher.Two things can be true.
>>76712039To be fair, not everyone develops normally. I just found an old pic of mine when I was like 14-15 and I was shocked at how underdeveloped my jaw looked.
>>76712251It sucks cuz I trained at a martial arts club as a teen and we drilled exclusively on the "reality" side. As in, we did knife training with marked knives after extensive defense training, and told to go ham on each other. Obviously everyone got shanked and a "good" result was to be stabbed less than 3 times, with the point being that you don't wanna get in a knife fight because you'll go to the hospital if you're lucky or die if you're not.Also all our trainers were active or formers combantants in kickboxing or MMA and our grappling was just no-gi submission wrestling, but with fewer rules than IFBJJ. In fact, when I eventually transitioned into no-gi bjj comps, I was confused because so many techniques are illegal that I was used to implementing.
>>76714218i read lbs and not kg so maybestill not anywhere near enough to justify that shit
>>76716440To take pics right after your workout while pumped. It's not rocket science. It's obnoxious (if others are around), but it's easy to understand, brainlet.
post humor retards
>>76716677broke that poor... uh... girl's? heart
>>76716681It's a man>inb4 rent freeHe's stated in multiple videos that he's a tranny. I think some videos even feature clips pre-transition. He was a zesty fat boy.
>>76717126i loved darren ratcliffe in harry potter, can't believe he got fat
>>76717129Why do people have to make such a big deal out of this stuff? Can't you just not have kids and that's it? Do you have to throw a party because you ain't having kidds? What kind of milestone worth celebrating is tgat?
>>76711242Peterstein ? I thought he was christian ?
>>76716568You do even lift? Or are you just colorblind?
>>76714237>mfw i have those pants>>76717177can't tell if bait but that's not his name>>76717320a Christian would support retaking the holy land, not fellating jew penis
>>76709749You can see her smile. What a slut.
>>76716498I bet you think shellfish are bad.
>>76716677>>76716681>>76717150Same person?
>>76716492Bee sex for the male:>you're born for one purpose, and one purpose only, to fuck a queen. If you're lucky you're first in line, but at least she's guaranteed to be just a few days old. No old lady sex. If you succeed, your erection literally tears your body apart and you die. If you fail, you're eventually turned out by the workers to die in the cold as winter approaches.For the queen:>You get one fantastic flight out as a virgin wherein you ride every cock you can find and then you're chained to the hive, forever pumping out babies until you die.Workers:>Yeah, you're female all right, but your parts aren't developed, they never will develop, and no male will ever touch you. At most, if your queen dies unexpectedly you might freak out and start laying unfertilized eggs.
>>76716519Ever seen videos of bjj where one guy refuses to go to ground?
>>76714237Once you were a vegahn, now you will be gone
>>76714208Lost hard lmaoooo>>76712469I audibly groaned in pain watching this
>>76717621yesOn the plus side, it seems to at least be a good sport about people on the internet making fun of it.
>>76711556Again, this is just a calorie thing Eat more then cut
>>76717630>bee women are all virgin femcelsThat's kinda hot
>>76717212no because they envy the milestones and the attention. there is a hole there and shit like this helps them pretend that there isnt
>>76710167Couldn't agree more
>>76709176She has to hold back her punches because a punch from her would obliterate them since force = mass x acceleration
>>76717634Guard pulling is just an edge case created by poorly thought out competition rules, that many comps still roll with because "that's how it always worked"More and more comps now fully prohibit pulling guard unless you have a solid connection with your opponent
>>76718342Oh no! Hope that never happens to me.
>>76718236Reminds me of when I was explaining to my kids how Daniel got his ass kicked in Karate Kid 2 trying to use the swan kick that worked so well in 1 against a tournament oriented teenager that had only ever seen karate.Tournament tournament tournament. If you're training for tournaments you better just not even bother.Was 3 days ago watching my kids' TKD instructor talk about catching a kick and to do with it, and he's going through all this shit, and I'm just thinking, walk forward and knock his ass down! But no, can't do that.
>>76717126that's Darnell Ratcliffe
>>76712039That beard was 13 pounds
>>76709749There's one of her getting choked its even hotter
>>76709178Haha that guys in drug addict ward now, fuck him
>>76714819Holy fuck you're dumb
>>76711556holy cope
>>76711570>>76709749have you got a source or name to that video
>>76709217who are these perfectly moral people fighting the homosexuals? MAGA? Actaully I don't care this perspective is so fucking stupid.
>>76714257Depends on jurisdiction. It's illegal to record police in Russia and Ukraine, you will be flagged as shpion
>>76716476For some yes but there is more to it. Look at Steven Seagal. He had one of the most powerful agents in Hollywood as a student and convinced that guy to make him a movie star. Two years later this bald dork with no physique who never acted before is on par with Arnold and Van Damme. Being a "martial arts master" carries some perceived influence to people who are interested in that area but some of these guys take it to the extreme with highly skilled suggestion that I think is pretty interesting. Obviously a lot of people will reject it but the ones that don't aren't necessarily idiots
>>76719557>Russia and UkraineThose are quite literally slave race colonies. Irrelevant because it doesn't happen in real countries.
