fuck these fucking incompetent fucks
Glowdstrike
and fucking everyone uses them
>>101464980Do we know the cause yet?
Sweet thread. What's your point?
Fortinet gang wins again enjoy your overpriced scam EDR fags
>>101465078Their fucking support page is behind a login. That’s where they posted an alert about it.
>>101465078they went on strike
well there goes my fucking weekend
>>101465100But for real though this might be the biggest fuckup in a few years at least, this will easily be 10s of millions of dollars in damage lolAnd we're just getting started
>>101464980russian and chinese cyberattack
>>101465086there's massive global outages you dumb
>>101465143Boot into safe mode and rename C:\Windows\System32\drivers\crowdstrike to anything else
C:\Windows\System32\drivers\crowdstrike
>>101465124>Their fucking support page is behind a loginlmao
THE NEEDFULS WERE NOT DONETHE LOO WAS NOT POO'D
>>101465177Outages of what nigger?
>>101465204CrowdStrike
https://www.reddit.com/r/crowdstrike/comments/1e6vmkf/bsod_error_in_latest_crowdstrike_update/?share_id=U0WkGMBG7KTp0A9GVM64t&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1
>>101465217Oh no. What ever will I do?
so basically cloud based antivirus software installed on windows desktop and embedded systems, cloud goes offline, antivirus driver literally BSoD and bootloops wangblows?wow who could have ever seen this coming?
>>101465264presumably remain unemployed
Enjoy your weekend MCSE friends!
>>101465178Also I can't even IMAGINE what people who now no longer have access to their bitlocker keys are going to do for their org. What a shitshow, this is defcon 5 levels of fucked
windows defender wins again
>>101465273Oh now I'm still being paidI need to tell my boss I should not
This is huge>muh cloudLOL
>cloud computing
>>101465078One of their jeets pushed the redeem button too needfully
>>101464980Lol on a Friday
Thought the chinks were finally invading us for a minute there
God, put me in the screencap
>>101465370Kek I thought it was a cyber attack at first Btw how can I 1000x short crowdstrike through a derivative platform right now?
>>101465143I'm so fucking glad I'm free today and that I'm not a sysadmin.
>>101465392I am on a week off work :) Whew.
I CAN’T EVEN BOOT INTO SAFE MODE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW MY BITLOCKER KEY. I’M GOING TO GET FIRED AND EVICTED AND I’LL HAVE TO SUCK DICK BEHIND WENDYS TO SURVIVE FML HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME IT WAS ALL GOING SO WELL
> Stop saying the cloud is just someone else's computer - because it's not>>Cloud and 'as a service' models have changed the way computing works. Get over it.
>>101465408>Get over it.What are you? 12?
>>101465300tranigger
>>101465417even worse, a femoid.https://www.zdnet.com/article/stop-saying-the-cloud-is-just-someone-elses-computer-because-its-not/
lmao IT depts so paranoid they contract out this garbage. Now it's biting them in the ass. Fucking rekt lmao
If you didnt short CRWD immediately after it started you're a dumb bitch
>>101465431where can I short while markets are closed?? Is there a defi derivative I can short?? This shit is going to 0
>Linux is only free if your time is worthl-ACK!
>>101464980Huh, so I’m guessing we’re gonna get emails about Office 365 not working properly today and shit
>>101465444Can't get support tickets from staff if their endpoint machines are stuck in a bsod loop :^)
>all these wagies ragiesFeels good to be third world chad who works without computer
The official workaround by CS does not even work (deleting the *29*.sys file). We are having to rename the entire folder to get the workstations up again.Thankfully this only affects a certain client's machines in our office, but... yay for forced updates. it's being an interesting morning.
>>101465078maintenance and purging of data relating to trump assassination plot disguised as an outage allegedlyit's like when 4chan goes down and the third party archives ties freeze scraping when the feds want a post gone
>>101464980Glad we don't use Windows or this shit. It's the first time I hear about it. IT department at the corporation where my GF works isn't even beggining to understand what's going on kek.
Everything went down at my company. My turn on the support roster.Laptop is in a BSOD loop thanks to cloudstrike so I couldn't do anything to even start fixing the clusterfuck.
How come this has only affected Aus? Is this one of these things where it was a forced update and they rolled it out by earliest timezone first? So NZ/Aus were the first English speaking countries to be affected?I work remote and can't connect to anything (neither can anyone else) so I guess I'm taking the rest of the day off. Sorry IT bros.
>>101464980thanks jeets, got a day off because of you
>nothing works>im supposed to take calls anyways and pretend I can do something
Hahahahah holy fuck they just absolutely tanked their productI was literally looking at them for my work over shit like Defender, SentinelOneNot anymore
>>101465552Affected the UK too.
>>101465552They are simply the only English speaking ones awake right now. It's affecting Asia heavily as well. Europe is starting to get to work about now as well so reports from them will likely come up soon. It's global.
>>101464980Should have stuck with Kaspersky. Your fault for not trusting the ruskies
I literally got off work two hours agoWell, time to get back on my laptop I guess
IT'S IRANIAN ATTACK. GET READY FOR WAR.
god bless home office, brb playing some games
>>101465552I'm in Argentina and my company is 100% down because of this. Workaround is ok though, but it will take a long time to do in all servers then restore all services
>>101465552As an aside, I had a laptop with CS installed for my previous job. I was doing HPC programming for numeric algos and it made profiling a total pain in the ass. Can't say I feel too bad about their crappy software failing.>>101465562>>101465565Ah I see. I had a quick scan of the news from other countries and didn't see anything about it.
>>101465552twitter Japan and China is on fire right now, its affecting a good chunk of the world. The real shitshow will be happening in around 5 hours when the stock exchange opens
>>101465552Its global
>>101464980work in insurance, shit is fucked here as wellwhat a massive fuckup lmfao
>>101465250Congratulations, you managed to save part of our computers with this post.- IT department loves you- People that wanted to leave early probably hates you.Update: Crowdflare has rolled back the update. Too late, sadly. Most computers are going to require manual recovery. Thank fuck that our IT takes keeping the bitlocker keys safe seriously
>tpmfags can't fix it because of bitlockerlmaooo serves you cunts right
>there might be /g/ users who are working at Crowdstrike right nowWishing you fellas the best of luck
>>101465552USA too.
>>101465552It’s not. I’m an American who works 3rd shift. It’s fucked. Fortune 50 company. This is a shitshow.
>>101465250>/share_id=U0WkGMBG7KTp0A9GVM64tgood goy
our entire production stopped right now and is costing us hundreds of thousands per minute lmao
>>101465178Sounds like entire fleets are gonna have to be reprovisioned now. This is pretty much the apocalypse for it jannies at medium to large companies, kek
what is even crowdstrike?
>>101465628cloud-based antivirus
>>101465619>usWhy do amerilards think theirs and their employers' interests are one and the same?
>>101465628event detection and response security tool
>>101465603Not for long...Crowdstrike will be dead within 6 months.Stick with the prod, prod with the prod.
>>101465636Because we’re invested in public markets like SPY, and there isn’t a mustache twirling ebil capitalist at the top?
>Major antivirus company was the virus the whole fucking timekino
>>101465628Crowdstrike-ma Balls lmao
>>101465649>there isn’t a mustache twirling ebil capitalist at the topNobody believes this, retard.
Lmao China doesn't even need to bother inserting backdoors into FOSS software when every company on earth is installing this closed-source kernel rootkit.
>>101465636>He doesn't have stock options as part of his employment agreementSucks to be poor
>>101465575War were declared
HOW LOWCAN YOU GO
>>101465078Americans are just incompetent.American glowies are even worse.Imagine using this glowing software. Nothing glows harder.
>>101465672buy the dip.
>>101465672SELL SELL SELL
>>101465659Alright. So why would an individual contributors interest not align with public markets?
>>101465683>buying ENRON on 'the dip'lol.This trashfire is dead.
>>101465654Just like Pfizer ;-)
It's purposeful. Expect more of these problems as 10 goes towards end of life.Meanwhile everything still works here on 7. I don't even know what the fuck Crowdstrike is or why 10 would ever need it.
>>101465100Fortigang
lol
>>101465268bootlooping is a great time to poison bootloaders, EFI fs, etc. Just sayin
>>101465715>I don't even know what the fuck Crowdstrike is or why 10 would ever need itSame, i didn'tbknow that this company even exists.Reading about it, it sounds like it glows hard.
So the company is going bust after this right?
Sika in Switzerland is down too.
Just finished with my 3am emergency call. Gonna be a fun weekend lmao
>>101465552France as well.But you're right, news are not talking about it yet.
>>101465737They're the IBM of cloud security. EVERYONE uses them.
>>101465552global - happening in EU now as wagies are waking to go to work
>>101464980Ever noticed that such issues only exists in the USA and it is always the hardest glowing companies affected?That anybody outside the USA buys this glowshit is ridiculous.Even if you don't care about syping, the Americans produce such garbage crashing software that nobody should use it.
>grounding flightsThis is fucking insane holy shit
BBC now reporting it front page. Sky news is off the air because of itMassive
>>101465280>now no longer have access to their bitlocker keys are going to do for their org LUKS doesn't have this problem.Never depend on Microsoft for your hard drive's decryption key.
the braindead >>>/pol/acks have apparently arrived.
>>101465078https://securitybrief.com.au/story/crowdstrike-launches-falcon-complete-next-gen-mdr-systemRogue AI? Shitty code? Both? They fucked up something. Isn't a pagefault error usually pretty low level? What the fuck is this, I havent into windows in years. Is this like a mbr corruption?
>>101465717literally had 3+ zero days / RCEs in the last 9 months on their SSLVPN product alone
>>101465776The worst thing it isn't "spying", it's just data collection. Which is worse than spying, because spying would imply you have useful information; but in reality they just want junk information to sell you something.Imagine the vast complexes of server farms who exist solely so that you can be given the right ad on Youtube.
>>101465798not to mention that piece of shit breaks every update
>>101465680CROWDSTRIKE is a democracy flavor enhancer, their election security products are American as apple pie
>>101465793Blue screen so shitty code.
Is CrowdStrike separate to Windows Defender?
If things like this CS outage never happened less IT workers would be needed. The more the better. Cybercrims will be working overtime now CS is broke
>>101465807Yes, they are their own thing
>>101465767>EVERYONEThen why are only the 5 eyes countries affected so hard that they can't even check out in a grocery store anymore?With the vassals also affected, but not that hard, and the rest of the world having no issues whatsoevere?Its like that one time Azure got hacked. Or that one time this US government data sharing platform got hacked.My conclusion is: Glowies are fucking incompetent.
>>101465812Got woke up at 5am but at least I'm getting overtime plus TIL
>>101465807Probably.What might have happened is:>Windows Defender has always been shit, if any malware wants to install on your computer it is literally the very first hurdle>Micorsoft gets tired of updating their garbage>makes some rando antivirus contractor mandatory, gives root access, doesn't ask any questions whatsoever or test anything before rolling out updates>strangely, this only affects 10 and not the unpopular 11>really makes you think
>>101465812Doesn't 4chan use cs?
Do any of you also get excited when shit's go down, or is it just me?I miss my SA days when something breaks and everyone's on code red. It's fun to see major requests get approved almost instantly.
>>101465726This is huge
>>101465837Doesn't affect me.
>>101464980Glory to CCP and Xi Jinping!
>>101465827you may not be working.
>y2k is literally happening right now
>>101465837I thought it was funny until I couldn't buy my fucking groceries from the supermarket. The cunts wont even take cash
>>101465746There was an article just yesterday on Yahoo Finance saying CrowdStrike was a 'strong buy' kek
>>101465840It's bigger than huge, it's large.
>>101464980Fun to see how incompetent people don't place critical stuff on a redundant system that will use dual images so that if one fails to boot it will boot the previous version.Why would someone run critical services on windows in the first place?
>>101465849Cashless society btfo within a few minutes ay
>>101465715> It's purposefulScrubbing those hard drives because Drumpf is winning
>>101465477Based pajeet
>>101465830It is affecting Windows 11 as well
>>101465864Oh wow, that's even worse.
>>101465830This is the most braindead shit I've ever read...
>>101465562I'm not effected therefore nobody in the UK is effected.
>>101465836Crowdstrike isn't Cloudflare.>>101465837It's actually pretty fun, especially if your ass isn't the one on the stove. Being a support monkey when the entire server cluster detonated due to a misconfigured storage controller was interesting, especially when the head of infrastructure bursts into our little basement hideout asking if we've seen the physical 2008R2 install disks kicking around somewhere.
>windows 10 LTSC IoT 2021>no blue screensfeels good being a chad.
>>101465864Nah Windows 11 works fine after the BSOD.
>>101465869Yep, I'm on support at my company, entire infrastructure is down.Went on to laptop to try and start to sort out the clusterfuck. BSOD loop.F U N
Is this going to be the most unproductive day in recent human historyHow many people will not go to work today Glad I'm at home and it's 5:30
>saar please redeem the cloudstrike
>company uses Macs
>>101465627so...are those jannies gonna be fired afterwards? Get a promotion for weathering it? Some boomers are going to be let go??
>>101465895based
>>101465891Day? If its as bad as I'm reading into this is going to take weeks to sort out
>>101465891Haxxors and everyone with a purpose in mind are cackling right now. The degree of damage will be insane
Whats he thinking right now
>>101465907His end-point is going to need protecting soon
>>101465879>Crowdstrike isn't Cloudflare.what's thw difference?
>>101465907>Whats he thinking right now>I really should wear a tie
1 company controls all the computerand cloudflare controls the tubes
>>101465907>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>101465907Wondering how big his golden parachute is going to be
>>101465907I should've hired only whites
>>101465889WOWScreenshot PL0X
>>101465726Berlin airport has suspended all flights >>101465854Bigly
>>101465752>>France as well.Tf1 is just mentioning it right now
>>101465915you will own nothing and be happy.
>>101465907>>101465912>>101465914>>101465916>>101465917>>101465919Capitalism exclusively protects those at the very top.
>y2k is real
>>101465930Lol if you think this nigga is going to make it out alive you're retardedThis is suicide level meltdown
>>101465907Picture that scene from Downfall (2004)
>>101465895and 360? :)>>>101465930I'll protext you anon
>>101464980They don't do testing? They don't have a test environment???
>>101465936>Killed himself with two gunshots to the back of the head
>>101465840its gonna get huger
>>101465936lmao whens the last time a CEO got fucked???get real NIGGER
>>101465924>Berlin airport has suspended all flightsWOW
>>101465949ahaahaahhahahahaahhahahahahahha
>>101465907JUST edit PLEASE
>>101465945Do you think those nigs and women and troons know how to use that?
kek
>>101465864Noo, you incompetent fool, it's all the system with cuckstrike installed
>>101465917This is the boring, yet correct, answer.
>>101465907He's in that group call together with the infra team asking updates by the fucking seconds.
Is this on MS' end or is it a vendor thing one had to purchase? Basically, am I safe on my PC at home?
Thank fuck I don't have to do anything today. In other words: NOT MY PROBLEM
>>101465965
>>101465965AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHHthose stupid terminals are useful after all lmao
>>101465966..which includes Windows 11
Guy on /r//wallstreetbets said to short Crowdstrike yesterday and got ripped to pieces. He'll be a millionaire now.
>Gentlemen, after not meeting my demands I have brought the planet to a halt. You have 60 minutes to get me the money and a helicopter or else
>>101465552It's worldwide, but Australians are the only people who work in the whole world. Now get back to hand-writing those spreadsheets, I need my neetbux!
>>101465980Crowdstrike protected networks bro.
>>101465981have rape incel
>>101465891For now I'm chilling in the sun with an extra coffee and cig.But when it will come back up, I'm afraid I'll have more than a few support requests to check. >Looking forward for the 500+ copy/pasted email to send>>101465927France info as well. They're waking up or found a stagiaire somewhere in a basement to write, since they could use chatgpt for a bit.
>>101465980It's a specific driver installed by a specific update from a specific enterprise security vendor. All you have to do is fetch the popcorn.
>>101465980It's some enterprise "anti-virus", you will know if you use it.
>>101465982>Be US vassal state>Use US software>Get fucked
Is it a good time to buy crowdstrike stocks after this
>>101465591Down under? Called several insurers, couldn't get through
So does this piece of shit product even allow you to turn off auto update??
>>101466009US based, the entirety of our systems use crowdstrike and everyone is on the boot loop
>>101465982ahahahha
>>101465915>these companies that produce a product are owned by a money company>the money company does nothing but own moneywhat the fuck is wrong with the world we live in
>>101465793>Isn't a pagefault error usually pretty low level?It isn't even an "error" per se, it's just a low-level "signal" for your memory manager to tell your CPU that the requested info is not on memory. Like a cache saying "I don't have it, holup let me get from the source".
>>101465987https://old.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1e6ms9z/crowdstrike_is_not_worth_83_billion_dollars/>OP showing that they don’t know what they are either. >He doesn’t even understand any of the technology or tools he’s listing!>Have you actually seen the platform in action? Cause I can tell you its a powerful security tool and not some lame spyware for management. Not saying you're entire DD is off base but you're reaching on that partHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHHAHHAHHHHH
Countries filled with evil browns like the UK, France and Germany will be on fire by the end of today because of this shit
>>101466018Will this delay my Amazon shipments?
>>101465837>Do any of you also get excited when shit's go down, or is it just me?I'm a neet linux user so yes.
>>101466017Take a photo anywhere in Australia and it's all poos
>>101466036probably
>>101465982Why does a vending machine even use windows?I know the Japanese have some weird obsession with Windows, but wtf....Linux is much easier to work with in embedded environments, free and no bullshit like this...Don't get it
Bet some poor guy ECG or his life support bricked due to jeet subcontractor @ crowdstrike lmao
>>101465895Then go back to work, wagie.
>Have you actually seen the platform in action? Cause I can tell you its a powerful security tool and not some lame spyware for management. Not saying you're entire DD is off base but you're reaching on that part
>>101466044Hope not :(
>>101465949All or most US flights are grounded
>>101466042As far as I know, the fix is easy but it can't be remotely fixed. So much shit will be fucked.
saar i cant siplasplas but I apruved yor pull riquest, tank you sar
>>101466045Mandatory by some manufactorers because they bulkbuy like 100000 windows keys and needs someplace to use them. Pretty retarded actually.
>planes can't fly >911 lines are all down >most major fortune 500 companies are just completely nonproductive
>>101465980Submerge your PC in water to protect it
>>101466045People like using blingy machines. They feel cool doing it.
So now it's official that (((antivirus))) causes more problems that actual viruses ever have or ever will, right?Or will they forget again tomorrow?
>>101466044>>101466036Fuck, I have some urgent hair gel arriving tomorrow
LETS LAUGH AT THE PAJEET WHO WENT STRAIGHT TO PRODHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA
>>101466045A lot of it is old software. As in, originally built in the 90s. From then on it has only been "updated", which is some sort of Theseus Code problem in itself. They never migrated because the previous version was fine-tuned for windows, even though the current version bears no resemblance to the original code.
>>101466071>>911 lines are all downfurr ales?
>>101466088F
>they said don't push major updates on a Friday night>they did it on a Thursday night instead
>>101466063Fixing the crowd strike issue is almost the least of the problem. All these systems being down has a cascading effect, it'll take days to recover even after the bsod issues are resolved
>>101466071I just landed about 40 minutes ago and we can't even get to a gate because the each airline's IT system is down. Its fucked.
>>101466026>guy just made $680000 overnightjesus
>>101465982millions of nippon will starve
>>101466103You're just stuck in the plane? Which airport?
>>101466100>slap my Raspberry PiYup, the ol' reliable.
THE BOTNET WANTS ME DEAD
Shit. Ran windows update few hrs ago. Is my beelink pc fucked
omfg shutting down airlines roflcopter https://www.bbc.com/news/live/cnk4jdwp49et
ABSOLUTELY HAPPENING CIVILIZATION IS COLLAPSING!!!
>test in production>no rolling updates>no safe mode or bypass on failureWhat were they THINKING?
>>101466116San Francisco. Came in from Dallas after numerous delays. Hopefully they'll just let us onto the tarmac since it feels like an emergency procedure right before my eyes.
>>101466026im fucking dying, this is too goddamn good
>>101466125It's fine here in 'ndonesia
>>101466045Japs run on very old windows software from decades ago. No need for Linux because the software just werks on windows forever Same reason these cunts use fax machines and rubber ink stamps still
>>101464980They knew the update was badhttps://www.investing.com/news/company-news/crowdstrike-executive-sells-149-million-in-stock-93CH-3521972
>>101466121>>101466124>>101466125>>101466128Literally the Y2K computer crash scenario
>>101466144Windows 10 is not old
IMAGINE IF THIS HAPPENED ON WEEKENDLOLOLOLOLO
>>101466014Ranjesh, do you not understand how antivirus works? If you are not on the bleeding edge of antivirus updates, then you might as well just spread your cheeks and relax your sphincter. Russian hackers will rearrange your insides and leave the trojan inside.
>>101466145?? How does this even make fucking senseIt's an EDR tool, it does what it's supposed to (except for now)Why would someone panic sell stock for a product that's one of the leaders in it's fieldIn fact, it's probably the biggest EDR after Defender in the western hemisphere, right?Conspiracy enjoyers are going to feast
>>101466026This timing is amazing for everyone to eat shit on their words immediately.
Wangblowers BTFO kekAlso:https://www.crowdstrike.com/press-releases/crowdstrike-invests-in-india-operations-to-continue-protecting-businesses-from-modern-cyberattacks/
>>101466150it would be more comfy if this happened on January 1st
>>101465627IT Janny here. It's fucking over. I'll have to go over so many laptops.
This is peak globalism right in front of our eyes.
>>101466170I just hope Amazon ships my pc parts x_x (im dead)
>>101465078Jeet code redeemed itself
>>101465930Lmao.
>>101465627they shoulda used Dex.
>>101466155How can you be this fucking stupid? Read what I wrote you spastic They use ancient software. It works across any version of windows
>>101465793> Rogue AIYou know i wouldn't be surprised if those incompitent fucks used chat GPT to write the code.
*diabolical laughter*
>>101466135shit, good luck
>>101465726yeah ALL FLIGHTSI bet their inflight entertainment is Windows
I go to work in 7 hours is this gonna be fixed by then
>>101466155>Initial release date: July 29, 2015It's a decade old, almost as old as 7.
>>101466231For your own sanity, phone in sick
This is why us based Bossnians only use Linux and free software.FUCK YOU MICRONIGGERS
>>101466231>t. pajeet who pushed to prod this evening
>>101466231No chance
TOTAL CIVILIZATION COLLAPSE CAUSED BY A BITCH BOI MIDDLE MAN CYBER SECURITY FIRM, you can't make that shit up
>>101466223This is fucking insane kek. The global loss this is causing is something else
Oh Jesus let it happen (but let me get my parts and download my gayms
>>101466223>flights currently airborne have been ordered to immediately crashwould only be fair
>>101466231There are going to be days of fallout from this
>>101466165>Russian hackers will rearrange your insides and leave the trojan inside.I'd take that over jeets bricking literally every machine that I have.Oh wait, I don't have to take anything, because I'm not a Windows cuck. Lmao
>>101466231Your office will be in flaming ruins by then
Protip for other sysadmins:If you're on Cloud and you've got a bunch of devices down that can't talk to deployment services, you're probably better off moving all the borked system's drives to a single instance/server and removing the offending patch file from there, then move it back. >>101466166>In fact, it's probably the biggest EDR after Defender in the western hemisphere, right?Yeah, the biggest lesson from this is IT departments have too much of a security/OS monoculture. Turns out a lot of different teams have the same chink in their armor.People should be buying stock in companies that compete with Crowdstrike directly lol.
>>101465250
>>101466223the moment americans can't get their burgers is when looting begins
I just realized something.This is what they feared would happen during the Y2K bug.
>there's now a wikipedia sectiondamn it was that serious huh
>>101466231ahahahaHAHAHAHAHA
>>101466231It'll take at least 2 days.
All jokes aside how the fuck does this happen? It's a catastrophic chain reaction, all because a security software fucked the OS? I know nothing of the subject but aren't there backups or "oh shit oh fuck" measures in place?
>>101466260That's literally what we've been doing, mounting drives to working instances to remove the file
>>101466280DEI hires, how else.
>>101466280Cant really apply a global fix when the affected computers are locked in a BSOD loop
>>101466230i bet the inflight entertainment is all run on raspberry pis and theyre the only things actually working
MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOOOOP
How big is this incident relative to other global outages?
>>101466026The timing is suspicious. Bet the OP was on the dev team and pushed the faulty update
>>101466271Why does cs even have the ability to bsod?
>>101466305Biggest outage ever brotherWe're only seeing the beginning of it.Europe is waking up right now
>>101466299The most fucked up part is that security systems are also affected. There's a Gordon Freeman RIGHT NOW trapped in the bunker somewhere
>>101466271except everyone got hyped and prepped for Y2K who the fuck can predict this shit?? other than that literal overnight reddit millionaire KEK
>CLOUD BASED security>AI ENHANCED anti virus>SECURITY EXPERTS recommend>Stop breeches. Drive businesses.>Technology augmented with deep security expertisedo Americans really fall for this?
>>101466312Anything can BSOD. If you haven't you aren't trying hard enough.
>>101466305At the moment, I'm pretty sure this is going to be the worst outage there's ever been by a big margin. PCs and servers across the world are bricked and they all require manual fixes.
>>101466265Someone get this hothead out of here!
>>101466299>affacted
>>101466305If Visa and MC can't get online by 8AM Eastern, then this will be the most interesting day since Covid.
>>101466324Americans and their pets.
>>101466265plebbitor of course had to make a refference to some shitty DC movie>>101466280you can't apply "oh shit oh fuck" measures when all of your machines are down and can't boot.
>>101466280With these retarded kernel level rootkits you're always playing with fire.But yeah, since this one affected literally every version of Windows, it is kind of unbelievable that they didn't see it in a test.
>>101464980The most incompetent are the one who put all their eggs in the same basket. Enjoy your single point of failure lol
>>101466272Dude the consequences are still unfolding my man. But if your ISP isn't compromised, anything that runs on *NIX or doesn't use crowdstrike on their Windows servers shouldn't be immediately impacted.>>101466283Hopefully the directory its regex-able in a scripting way.>>101466280You're right. Most backups should be stable, but a lot of the "oh fuck measures" that companies have (if they have them) may ironically be locked out due to the scattershot nature of this outage. Like if someone's work VPN services are down due to this, it locks all WFHers out of their work environment :^)>>101466312Kernel mode driver crashes kernel, simple as.
>>101466305It's the biggest in history :)
>>101466265if we see any mentions of Marvel or Star Wars then it's probably over
>>101466271The best thing to come out of Y2K was my local kebab shop named itself y2kebabs
>>101466312Runs at driver level. It's one of the very few ways you can still BSOD that isn't hardware failure
>>101466312Seems CS has some kernel driver or something else that runs in ring 0.
>>101464980THEYHIREDINDIANSYOUFUCKINGRETARDS.THE MORE INDIANS THEY HIRE, THE MORE OFTEN "SHIT" LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN!
>Russia is not affectedLinux-enthusiasts I doubted you, thanks for sanctions
please for the love of god tell me this is the kind of outage that's so catastrophic, it finally makes people realize just how retarded of an idea centralizing everything on cloudshit and modern microsoft software was (it isn't and we'll all forget about it in a week from now)
>>101466299ironic that the toilets in Japan are probably not working & the jeets caused it
>>101466299>911 problems in Alaska>Highest murder rate in the countryCan you imagine the shitshow if everyone there knew about it? Can straight up turn into a Mad Max scenario
So will i be able to buy some cigs with my debit card in the morning?
>>101466364Source?
>>101466305It's absolutely massive, even if the fix is simple the fact that there's no way to automate it means so much man hours are going to be required to undo this fuck up.Assuming you have the machine with you and the BitLocker key if required you'd still need to spend 3-10 minutes per machine booting it up, removing the file causing the issue, rebooting it to verify that it's working.One redditor posted their company has 350k machines that are all affected.
>>101466340wait they use cs on the remote control thingies? I remember seeing that pi youtuber showing how there's this pi that can let you even get into a bios (hdmi mirroring)
>>101466348>it locks all WFHers out of their work environment :^):^)
>>101466374his ass
>>101466360There is one simple way we can verify thisEveryone get on linkedin right now and look through Engineers for CrowdstrikeShould be easy as fuck
>>101466360Jeets + white golems, this is how chink keep winning by doing nothing
>>101466334east USA. am about to go hit the ATM and gas station see whats up.... im scared bros.
>>101466365Just like everything, it's never happening.
>>101466063might be alright if remote terminals have some sort of iLO system or Intel Active Management Technology, but if they're not already setup and working you're gonna be busy.
>>101466373This is a clear question right here.
>>101466373Depends, which brand?Marlboro still uses Windows 10 in their cigarretes, but I'm not sure if they use Crowdstrike in their filters.Camel uses OpenVMS, so they should still smoke.
>>101466365No because the guys in charge only care about money not consequences. That's how we got there in the first place
>>101466386Holy fuck I took one look and its unironically filled with jeets
>>101466223jesus
>>101466390nothing ever happens...
You now remember:>Microsoft Azure hack (EU institutions run on it, lmao)>MOVEit hack (largest data breech in known history affecting all Western governments - got memoryholed hard)>American defense software crashed in their most modern planes when they did fly over timezonesLaugh at American glowies!
>>101464980>Early outHOLY BASED
>>101466365if by chance it's revealed that crowdstrike was actually hacked and data from arbitrary businesses was leaked, then yeah maybe there's a chance
>the WHOLE Internet is down, EVERYONE is affected!!!!>Its what they thought would happen in Y2K!!!!Meanwhile in reality it only affects the 5 eyes countries. And it only happens because of the utter incompetency of the people running their surveillance state.
>>101466448half of all at&t custpmers were without service for most of a day this year.:^) not hacked, they promised.
>>101466454>meanwhile in reality it only affects the 5 eyes countriesSo the only countries that matter?Why do you want to move to one so badly then, Pankreet?
>majority of the systems in my shithole run off Linux or something old and obscureSucks to be a 1st worlder
>>101466428>MOVEit hackThis shit today will get memoryholed just as hard.And the cattle will happily forget about it, when ordered by their media.
>>101466456>even less, if you use our product!
Luckily our company was just about to re-image all our systems so they granted enough permissions for us to use the command prompt in recovery mode.
>>101466456cs works how?
>>101466428>MOVEit hackso uhhh what was that about? what's the actual negative effects of it?
>>101466459>why do you want to move to one so badlyOnly criminals get sent into the USA, anon.Venezuela emptied their prisons and sent the murderers into the USA.This is not a joke. Actually what happens:https://nehls.house.gov/sites/evo-subsites/nehls.house.gov/files/evo-media-document/Follow%20Up%20Letter%20to%20DHS%20on%20Venezuela.pdf
>>101466467We live in a state if constant forgetfulness.
Welp, my bank is FUUUUUUUCKEDI have 200-300 in cash. What now?
>>101466481>Granted permission Who? Sounds like youre the IT so who grants permission to ITBig corp structures are fucking retarded
>>101465057who the fuck is running Windows as a server bet this was people voting bullshit
>>101466305If you have a history book, throw it.It's HUGE.
>>101465178>Tfw organisation has c:/ behind bitlocker>Require bitlocker key to boot into safe mode>Cant generate key because everything is fucked
>>101466496And yet you're still banging on the five eye nations doors because you're sick of standing in your own poo all day and wading through rubbish to get your scam call centre job, parkresh
>>101466495>what's the actual negative effects of all the security relevant data of my government sold on the dark web with millions affectedProbably lots of zogbots dying in Ukraine.
>>101466514starve goy
>>101466521Its more than that Chris. Its Large.
>>101466460>imagine using fucking WINDOWS on a servermeanwhile linux chads at most get an "oops panic" and it just continues as if nothing happened
>be at office>hear about some shit going down earlier in the day>go to jobsite>after task complete come back to office at 1am>all office computers have bsod>work at a uni so I assume this is campus-wideGlad I do everything on my personal laptop (so they can't spy on me doing xitter and vidya all day). And glad all our time stuff is on physical time cards.
I need to remove this manic smile from my face before IT sees me. I don't work in that department anymore and I am enjoying every minute of this.
>>101466524I think your reading comprehension is not very good.Read the post again and try to understand it this time.
>>101466454>Meanwhile in reality it only affects the 5 eyes countries.I am greatly concerned about the technical details, but not really the 5 eye countries in particular. Is there some reply I can give you that will enable you to provide the source? Like I can pretend I'm American or British or whatever and argue as long you provide the interesting bit.
>>101466042I can't believe they're all on Windows
can someone tell how an update BSODs every connected machine? different systems have various specs and even update versions right? how does it directly go to BSOD?
Is the tech industry getting what it fucking deserves?
>>101466562explains why they are slow as shit at least
Any effects at all for non-crowdstrike users?
>>101466586Nah lol
>company computers are not connected to the outside world>90% of all PC are windows 7>server runs on pirated W2000feels nice to be /balk/chad
>>101466378>One redditor posted their company has 350k machines that are all affected.This is unbelievably fucked
>>101466586Yeah. I can't buy groceries.
>>101465552A friend working for Amazon told they they got hit hard. What a mess, lmao.
>>101466586Are you a crowdstrike user?
>>101466565bad driver = system fucks itself trying to load it>>101466573it's Le Big Cybersecurity getting what it deserves, if you use crowdstrike without questioning its update system, you had this shit coming
Reminder that their countries IT infrastructure just collapsed because of retarded glowies, who are a danger to their own country.And when you point it out, the mutt goes: BUT USA GREAT, WE NEED TO SUPPORT THE FBI AND NSAWhy is it so hard to accept that feds are your enemies?This happening here is caused by feds spying on you.
>>101466565IT's a third party antivirus system. What it does is load files on windows boot. It installed an update that modified windows to load buggy code that causes a crash on boot. They remotely bricked millions of windows machines.
lel, work laptop affected, can't boot it today, I assume everybody else at work is affected too
>>101465752>But you're right, news are not talking about it yet.>https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cnk4jdwp49etEven if they wanted to, they can't.>In the UK, Sky News channel is off air due to the outages.>The channel has not been able to broadcast live this morning, the company's executive chairman says.kek
I would be laughing but i can't log in in my diablo 2 accounts.
tradingview.com/symbols/NASDAQ-CRWD/
>>101465552Nips are complaining all over twitter
Boy am I glad I did a big groceries shop yesterday.
>>101465982japanese still use cash,even in very high class restaurants and malls. so, this wont affect them as much. same with developing countries, I suppose
>>101466586>traffic lights failing>airplanes soon about to literally drop down>financial transactions are fucked>critical infras shut downYeah should've followed those boomer preppers
>>1014661953% is nothing
>>101466637Buy the dip?
>>101466565While we won't get the particular code/mechanism for awhile, its a kernel-level driver that is causing the kernel to crash. It is hardware-agnostic because the driver is for the sake of having lower-level access to Windows, rather than enabling hardware compatibility.Any computer with Crowdstrike services (csagent.sys) has this driver installed, regardless of hardware.
>>101466560Source for what?Do you deny that there is an IT issue right now caused by Americans that almost exclusively affects five eyes countries?
all my chinese gacha servers are still onlineall good
>>101465561>Looking at cloud-based security solutions at allHoly fuck the incompetence. I hope this thread serves as a reminder for how dumb you are.
>>101466602>really hoping we don't have to touch every pc to recoverSo they actually HAVE to manually do physical surgery on EVERY machines to recover from this???
>>101464980kekkerino>>101466277
>>101466652That was yesterday before the outage, right now its -12% in pre-market and going down fast
>>101466628But, I'm hearing some of these machines were on for weeks/months. They did not restart by themselves. Can you just push an update midway? that seems way too insecure
Both of the large supermarkets in Australia (Coles and Woolworths) are completely down.Aldi wasn't down, they seem to run some ancient POS system though.Local Foodland wasn't down either, they have a Windows based POS, but I assume they 'shirked' on AV anyway - big win for them, it's busy as fuck there now, since Woolworths and Coles are just dead.
>>101466675Yes
>>101466680And that's just premarket. It would be more but I think some trading machines are down so they can't sell the stock
So an update to fix it has been pushed, does that mean as long as the PC was shut down overnight it will be safe?
>>101466661thanks
>>101466669Im not in control of what my organisation chooses to do retard they just pay me my salary
>>101466686If a driver isn't critical to windows functionality it can be stopped and started
>>101466598Feels good mogging zogs by doing nothing
>>101466716i see
>>101466693yeah, but every single machine that got fucked need a manual restart first
>>101466675Yes. The fix is to enter safe mode and delete one file.
>>101466265>If Crowdstrike is dead then show me it's body!
>>101466612No, and I am on a week off from work. I called in erlier to see how our shit was, but we (AU GOV) dont use Crowdstrike, so thank fuck, my stuff was all fine.
>>101466586doesnt matter because it seems most of the govt services and retail use crowdstrike
>>101466283what about bitlocker?
>>101466742yeah one day I'm really glad we're on sentinelone and I don't have any shopping to do, friday arvo is not when I want a crisis
>>101466371kek>>10146637834k on the down time call I am
>>101465431It was always too late, even if you could short in PM (which I can't), it was always too late, it just gapped down.
>>101466665>Do you deny that there is an IT issue right now caused by Americans that almost exclusively affects five eyes countries?>almost exclusivelyThat part in particular I cannot confirm or deny myself, because I'm not hearing that the other companies in other countries weren't affected if they used CrowdstrikeIf it is true, I am VERY curious as to whether it is due to Crowdstrike being overrepresented in those 5 eyes (which seems likely), or if it was something that targeted Crowdstrike services ONLY in the 5 eyes.That's a massive fucking difference in execution, so I'd love to hear the particulars.I don't care if you shit on 5 eyes one way or the other.
>>101466656I wouldn't
>>101464980>chant "keep your system updated" for years>system update bricks your computers and bankrupts your company>how could this happen
>>101466542Linux ftw.>>101466604That's fucking months of downtime unless you have an army of an IT team working around the clock.
>>101465837It's exciting that my whole company is affected, it's comfy. Sadly if I can't fix it myself I'll have to take the train to my workplace which is like 4 hours away
>>101466788>but was it ONLY in the 5 eyesSome vassal states from the 9 eyes (France) had some windows machine crashing somewhere, but nothing important.The further you get away from the NSA surveillance, the less affected you are by it.>Crowdstrike servicesNigger, Crowdstrike IS the glowy.It's not a coordinated action or on purpose, glowies are simply not very competent and if their spy software fucks up once, everything that is used for data collection goes down with it.Challenge:Tell me ONE reason why ANYONE should use Crowdstrike.
It's a good day to be a neet
>>101466849will you be able to pay to get on the train?
Guys I managed to take a screenshot of the BSOD
>>101464980Oh boy, thank God I turned down their job offer.Whoever fucked-up must be contemplating suicide right now.lmaoThis is how the century of Linux starts.
>>101466851The fuck are you on about. Crowdstrike sells itself as IT AV secuirty crap and companies that bought it and deployed it are affected; that's it. Third worlders don't have companies that buy this stuff so they're less affectd. Jesus.
>none of the users or companies under my care use crowdstrike
>>101466364Russia is Windows heavy as fuck (wzor et al). they just don't use Crowdstrike spyware.
>>101466666Gacha get
Oh christ what do I do
Security ten years ago:>test updates and any changed extensively yourself before rolling it out company wide>don't let users execute their own binaries>run airgapped if possibleSecurity now:>UPDOOOOTTTT>store everything under one place, even your applications>one account for everything. Even better: Auto-Sync it to a cloud for backups!
>>101464980Y2K BTFO
>>101466919They made their users their QA instead of an dedicated team
>>101466919They didn't even seem to A-B test it, it rolled out everywhere.
>>101466855amen brother watching the shitshow ayy lmao
>>101465728most of the newfangled pos/embedded systems running win10+ are running secure boot too and tight keys, so not really
>>101466916Get the programming socks.
>>101466881>its a private company offering a software>and other private companies, who happen to be close to the government, buy it for no reasonReminds me on when the US government did a vax mandate for itself and their contractors, and it somehow caused half of the USA to require the clot shot, or else they are fired.Somehow the US government has more control over the "private companies" in their country than even the CPC has over Chinese companies.
>>101466972>buy if for no reasonOh you're a retard. That's fine, live in fantasy land if it makes you feel more comfortable knowing that someone is in control. Gives you someone to fight against!
>>101466916Restart and hold down the shift key.
>>101466941>TheyBut with "they" i mean every single company that uses it.Hell, didn't Windows update used to be controlled by company wide group policies and the IT department would test the updates and then whitelist singular ones?At least that was the case when i worked there...
>>101466773What company do you work for?
hecki'n love the happening
>>101466919CrowdStrike copies user data and has full rights over it, btw.
>>101465280Isn't DEFCON 1 the highest level?
>>101466280linux has a sandboxed environment for kernel drivers called eBPF (ironically microsoft is working on support for it for windows) but there's nothing software-wise standing in the waybut these retards weren't the only ones who fucked up, in order to deploy a driver on windows it has to be personally audited and approved by microsoftthis level of bug should not be allowedi think historically they've always allowed anti-virus vendors to get away with a lot less scrutiny
>>101465628feel good buzzwords av+firewall+whatever sounds remotely like security provider
>>101466986What is the reason?Why would anyone buy:>CLOUD BASED security>AI ENHANCED anti virus>SECURITY EXPERTS recommend>Stop breeches. Drive businesses.>Technology augmented with deep security expertiseThis shit is advertised like a Nigerian prince scam.Are you seriously arguing that it isn't glowies... it's actually just most companies in five eyes countries being bumfuck retarded and braindead and falling for easy scams?Does this really make you look better now?
>>101466994Yeah, but if you trust a third party AV who has remote admin access to your entire IT estate with pushing critical 'security updates' as fast as possible because they sold you that the 10 minutes between a vulnerability being known and being exploited is important this kind of shit happens.
>>101467017Are you seriously arguing that C-suites at companies are smart and know IT scams?
>>101467038Somehow doesn't affect companies outside of the five eyes...
>>101466873damn I don't even know. But I wouldn't go today anyway, if anything it would have to be next week
>>101465767I haven't seen a single Crowdstrike deployment ever, I have seen plenty of Fortinet deployments Seems like this was one of those 5eyes memes pushed hard by glowniggers into retarded and gullible large organizations
>>101466851>The further you get away from the NSA surveillance, the less affected you are by it.Again, if you know more than simply hearing this from others - where are you seeing of it being "less" in such an orderly fashion?I am doubting you because I cannot find it myself beyond your replies, man. Like I imagine a non-English news about it, I imagine it would specify if domestic services were reporting as down, no? That's the kind of detail I'm looking for.>Nigger, Crowdstrike IS the glowy.One of many, no?Honestly surprised you don't think many of the cloud services preinstalled on Windows aren't similarly suspect. >Tell me ONE reason why ANYONE should use Crowdstrike.Should? I wouldn't recommend it before.There are shitty reasons why large corpos use it - generally they're a Windows shop with a desire to lockdown the operating system more aggressively and selectively than Windows can provide by default. And seems they've managed to lock their systems down QUITE well now, lol.
>>101466919It's worth mentioning that the CrowdStrike sensor typically requires about a week to be updated to the latest windows kernel version. Typically this results in the old version of the sensor disabling itself until the kernel is supported.I suspect something went HORRIBLY WRONG with that process with the latest windows patch.
>Delhi airport unaffectedkek
>>101467062Ahahahaha
>>101467062ok please please link me I just want to know you actually got that from somewhere, because that picture doesn't look to be in Dehli
>>101467053Because Americans are super fucking stupid.This is what the glowy is arguing.It's not a typical glowy fuck up. Glowies are gods. It's just that the highest rated companies in the USA are run by retards.That is definitelly a better explenation and a cope to go for. Defend glowies at all costs, even if it means that you have to argue that your whole country is idiotic and retarded.
I dont think you realize how much money flight companies are losing. AND they dont fuck around because the flight delays of 1 day will roll out and waterfall for a couple weeks. Thats way too much money. crowdstrike is already over as an organization, its the people responsible who will be run through the ringer
>>101467062The people who caused all of this unaffected topkek
>>101466230a lot of point of sale systems are, customer service terminals/endpoints almost always are, everything else isn't, or at least isn't on a version supported by clowdstrike they want everyone to stop selling flights since they can't quite literally sell tickets right now, but plenty of competitors are running their PoS on IBM and GNU, some of them have their customer service people on GNU
>>101467085i cannot wait for the fallout from this
>>101467075>https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cnk4jdwp49etI'm joking, partially
>>101467058>NO, i will NOT tell you a reason why all our sensible infrastructure depends on spyware that collects data live and sends it to a centralized data bank!ok, glowySeems like countries outside of the five eyes aren't as stupid as you are.I get it... you are dumb... everybody else isn't dumb... that is of course a much better explenation that simply admitting that the surveillance state fucked up and glowy spyware crashed.
>>101467085>AND they dont fuck around because the flight delays of 1 day will roll out and waterfall for a couple weeksAlso they're extremely tight on margins, they don't have fuck-you money and every once in a while a major airliner goes broke.
>>101467056I hope your upgrade to win7 and core 2 duo goes well
>>101467112So uh... is india part of 5eyes? Since their airports are affected too. Or are the exceptions just more proof?
>>101466851>Tell me ONE reason why ANYONE should use Crowdstrike.government regulator takes it as a checklist item.
>>101466280>Be security company>Embed internet cloud based rootkit into the OS for security>Release broken update>For whatever reason any device that was online gets hit by bug because its an online based rootkit
They are done for
Majorcan here. All the brit tourists are seething at the airport
>>101467165everyone is seething in the airports right now, jej
comfy
>>101467179what airport?
>>101467136How many pajeets are CEOs in American companies?They literally just sell their shit back home.
>SAR PLEASE BOOT EVERY MACHINE AND DELETE THIS FILE SARFucking jeets need to rope themselves for this
Nothing ever happens>check my 3rd world bank>it's downwait
>>101464980Just here to say this to MS wagie cucks:BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH HOLY SHIT HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA EAT A DICK
>>101465423>even worse, a femoid.
>>101466212Crowdstrike uses ai for detection
>>101467189not 100% certain, might be SFO
>>101467201Is there any information at all that could disprove your theory? At the moment you're combing a lack of understanding of the situation with some conspiracy thing and then anything that points elsewhere is wrapped up in the theory, making it unfalsifiable.
Has a fix been rolled out yet
>>101467112Yeah I don't think you can tell me the particulars.You bore me.
>>101465907>you can literally see his soul leaving his body in those 3 pics
>>101466712>I was looking at choosing them>It's not my choice, it's the companies!Lol
It's starting, isn't it?
>>101467255yes, boot into recovery (better not be on bitlocker), delete a file and reboot.
lmaohttps://twitter.com/akothari/status/1814202068531552666
>>101464980Updooters BTFOBeing a NEET pays off again
>>101467162Maybe not-Biggest shareholder is blackrock.Blackrock is a big 'supporter' of DEI initiatives. Microsoft just fired their DEI team, now this blackrock company suddenly has an 'oopsie'Could just be a load of bollocks too.
>>101467267Kinda looks that way
the shit in our company + the companies we work with works again, fuck me no day off for me
>>101467253What about this is a conspiracy THEORY?You deny that NSA spy programs exist?
>>101467255nopeCS just told everyone to boot into safe mode and delete the offending driver lolI hope this'll be the end of this stupid fucking malware that has caused me so many headaches
>>101467255There's a fix but it involves manually booting into recovery mode, and deleting a system file.Could probably be automated with a bash script and a linux liveusb set to seek out the filepath on all physical drives. Probably not worth it for anyone on VMWare or similar to boot such a thing though, it's probably more time than it's worth.
>>101467296Not an argument and you did not address the question.
>>101467275bitniggers btfo, thank you crowdstrike
>>101467275What do you do if you use bitlocker?
>>101467162>14%>done for
Doesn't the fix just make you vulnerable?
>>101467314Pray to god you can find the recovery key
>>101467299Wait, no. Anyon with this probably encrypts their drives. Such a method is fucking useless
>>101467314Wait for the patch like a patient boy
>>101464980>Racist chuds fire the DEI team>a day later>wtf all of our systems stopped working! Could it be that competent people are actually needed?You get what you deserve.
>>101467062HAHAHA
BITTODDLERS BTFO
>>101467314Haha, I'm sure you have your recovery key on hand! You DID save your recovery key, right, anon? :D
>>101467255>Tesserent cyber solutions by Thales Australia has just issued an update on the CrowdStrike problem.>"CrowdStrike have deployed a new content update which resolves the previously erroneous update and subsequent host issues.>"As your devices receive this update you may need to reboot for the changes to take effect and for the blue screen (BSOD) issues to be resolved."
>>101467296I am looking for the technical details of the thing, regardless of the particular actor.So sure, I accept any particular theory, including NSA, once that is given.Please don't bore.
>>101467314>What do you do if you use bitlocker?hahahah, lol>>101467329I don't think patches can be served to the bootlooped machines
>>101466045>Why does a vending machine even use windows?same reason atm's run windows, ibm was too expensive and there was nothing else that wasn't a shitfest 90s decisions still sticking
>>101467324>>101467343don't you store them in intune?
Can you even get the patch if you're stuck in BSOD hell? this will require manual attention per machine
>>101467324>>101467329>>101467343>>101467355Well, fuck
>>101467369Intune servers ran crowdstrike saar
>>101466045Anon, I...
>>101467329can a patch even be downloaded if the machines crash on startup?
>>101467358Pizza Hut used to use custom curses POS system on top on SCO OpenServer.I assume at one point they ran actual SysV...
>>101467371no idea, our IT is just doing a marathon with all pcs that are still stuck in reboot hell
>>101466675unless they have network boot configured (which they don't) and they are competent enough to use it (which they aren't)
>>101466230>>101466296>>101467103IFE is basically like a Plex server somewhere on the plane and all the clients are dumb and feed off the media. That's why it's so slow and that's why pirate scene groups release Korean or chink western movies in full glory often
>>101467383Shall i get a priest for you?Last rites?
>>101467396No, doubly no if BitLocker was enabled
>>101467402IT slaves gonna be stuck patching this shit for the next few weeks, awesome!
TOTAL CENTRALIZATION GENOCIDE, BALKANIZE THE INTERNET, BALKANIZE SOFTWARE SOLUTIONS
>>101464980How does this affect me?
>>101467358And you wouldn't get required (((certificates))) and (((licenses))) if you just use a random Linux.When it's about payments, emergency services, infrastructure, etc. you are operating on windows only.Until a few years ago, embedded devices in that sector did still run twenty years old Windows CE (reached end-of-support last year).The only Linux that you could get certifications for in the Western world is RHEL And SuSE if in some EU countries. And both are too expensive for little widely distributed devices, they are only for your servers.
>>101466851The same reason why you would use a other IDS or IPS?
>>101467431Check your bank account and ensure you can make transactions then report back.
It just keeps getting better and better > https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-07-19/global-it-outage-crowdstrike-microsoft-banks-airlines-australia/104119960
>>101467383how the fuck am i supposed to eat a roll of nickels before my MRI now???
>>101467431a series of unfortunate circumstances leading to an airplane falling down in flames on top of your heador a failed medical device leading to that Ford boomer running you down after his heart failsor some government wagie failing to do their counting leading to your neetbucks getting cancelled
>>101467439Windows CE was the reason I bought a Dreamcast
>>101467481>satellite crashing into your bedroom killing you instantlywhoa
>>101467477>follow instructions on how to reboot the system. And there is a function called safe module he seems like he knows what he's doing
just made a cheeky push hehe, can't wait to finish up work for the day after this!
>>101466305smaller than the AWS outages and almost exclusively affects large organizations, hardly any mission critical system
> CrowdStrikeWhat was it supposed to mean? I can't imagine anything different to pic.
>>101467477>https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-07-19/global-it-outage-crowdstrike-microsoft-banks-airlines-australia/104119960ABC in AU is telling peole NOT to mess with Crowdstrike software, as "this will make thing worse".Wow, can't say I am surprised
>use an antivirus >it's a virusYou don't need more than Windows Defender
>>101467548Absolute kino shot
>>101467548>that tramp stamp
>>101467549What gender is this?
>>101467431Not at all if you aren't American or a vassal.
BREAKING NEWS: CrowdStrike CEO has released a statement. “Not my problem.”
>>101467584whatever it is I don't like it
>>101466887>>101466374Astra Linux.
>>101466454>Meanwhile in reality it only affects the 5 eyes countriesnot all of them, only the ones duped into switching to cloudstrike and managed security memes
>>101467584Noone knows
>>101467584if it has 2 holes i'd still tap that
Lolin fuck clownstrike
wintoddlers BTFO
>>101467584Yes
>>101467487Windows CE did like to get stuck on full CPU usage. But even then it still worked.The device would be slow and super hot, bust still be usable.
>>101467584clownstrike
>"The CEO of Crowdstrike has taken an early leave from his position this friday. He was seen leaving the building with coffers full of cash. Asked about what he is doing he simply responded with 'Lmao'."
>>101465078shit driver, this fixed it for medel "C:\Windows\System32\drivers\CrowdStrike\C-00000291*.sys"
del "C:\Windows\System32\drivers\CrowdStrike\C-00000291*.sys"
Miss me yet?
>>101467549Well, nobody can get into your network if it's not even up. Hackers BTFO again. :^)
>>101466542>imagine using fucking WINDOWS on a serverpretty much no one does, aside from active directory servers that manage wagie machines
>>101467548This is more or less what's happeining now, just imagine the crowd is made up of corpo sysadmins that will be wageslaving overtime this whole weekend.
>>101467344How can they deliver this to already BSOD'd machines?
haha lmao
/tv/ here, do you think they're gonna make a movie about this?
>>101467667They cant. But anyone who keeps their terminals shutdown outside of work hours are safe at least.
>>101467480anon... that's CT scanner
>>101467414>pirated movies from planesaren't plane versions cut to remove violence/nudity?
>>101467678my question still stands
>>101467667they can't, only manually baby
>>101467584Would
>>101466374https://t.me/tass_agency/261502https://t.me/tass_agency/261504https://t.me/tass_agency/261509>>101467597There's a whole zoo of Russian Linux distributives, including company-specific ones like SberOS used by Sberbank.
>>101467667They can't :D time to manually patch millions of machines, anon!
I have no idea what a CrowdStrike is, can someone explain how that BSOD'd a billion computers? And how serious this was/is?
>>101467677Good point, so for the US it should be less bad hopefully
i accidentally ate two large pizzas again...
>>101467584You can tell by the smirk that the next words that were uttered was "Should have written Crowdstrike in Rust".
>>101467688Thankshttps://t.me/tass_agency/261492Yeah, that looks like a reasonable spread of affected aiports.
>>101467708All payment relevant systems do syncs over night.
>>101467706Cloud based IT security. Millions of machines are connected to them, they pushed out a shitty updated that causes affected systems to get stuck in a crashing loop. Serious enough for airports to ground flights, banks and stores to be unable to process payments etc.
>>101467723Kekhttps://www.crowdstrike.com/blog/how-crowdstrike-combines-tensorflow-and-rust-for-performance/
>>101467706>can someone explain how that BSOD'd a billion computers? And how serious this was/is?It's serious in the sense that there is no patch. The fix requires manual intervention. For shops with tens of thousands of systems this is a disaster scenario.
>>101467332Retarded brownie
>>101467706Cloud based security suite, does AV, IDS and IPS etc. It's installed on both server and clients. It pushes updates from the cloud. Looks like they pushed a driver that causes a bootloop.
>>101467769
>>101467797In 2007 we had to travel by car to multiple construction sites to implement a fix after a bad antivirus update flagged a critical windows XP file, then manually update the antivirus databases because it would delete the restored file again after restarting. Not my first rodeo with this crap.
Well let's just say, they did strike the crowd
>>101467879>all that manual work for already bricked machinesHAHAHAHA this will take days to resolve
>>101467910More like weeks
>>101467910>>101467931Maybe even months
So glad I'm still a college student and I can watch from the sidelines as this all happens
we are looking at YEARS of bricked machines... it is finally over...
>>101467975until you are the one that commits it a decade later
why don't organisations use macOS?
>>101467988One day. One day.
>>101467910How many people do you think use Bitlocker but don't have their recovery keys backed up? A previous anon mentioned this, but I think it's a higher number than one would expect.
>>101467995microshit stole all the pajeets
>>101465609heh
>No crowdstatus update since 11:27PM PTGrim
>>101467879I wonder if it's just faster to wipe/replace the boot drive than do this, assuming the data is stored on a separate disk
>>101467995Dinosaurs. Basically Windows shops can be summarized as boomer sysadmins who got their certs back in the day and learned some relevant skills. The problem is, technology is always changing, but these folks are like the used car salesmen of the IT world. They will vehemently oppose changing away from the 'tried and true' methods because they simply don't want to learn new skills.
Where is the fucking sticky
>>101467910It will take three centuries, at least
>>101465982fake and gayjaps use windows 95
The old crowdstrike bitlocker one-two punch
>>101467995hahaha why would they use such walled garden accelerated obsolescence overpriced garbage?
>riots tomorrow>governments destroyed the day after>total collapse imminentfinally my prepper stash is full
>>101467879>expecting the insta thot with onlyfans to do this at your local supermarketjej
>>101467584Ethical hacker.
>>101468036It's not just the boomers scared of change. When I am recruiting people now in the IT space I realized a few years ago that all the kids who grew up watching Linus Tech Tips are now at the working age where they are looking for sysadmin jobs. I have seen countless resumes and candidate interviews where they think because they built a GAYMUR PC they are qualified to become sysadmins.
>Fix has been deployedGood luck getting it when you're in a boot-loop though lmao
>>101468036The problem is you can't just do a big bang migration to Loonix. Most companies have Wangblows only applications that are crucial for their business processes.
>>101468058because it won't get bricked from a shitty third party update?
>>101468137Yeah but you could say the same about HaikuOS.
So folks, what did we learn today?
>>101468170nothing
>>101468170we need to ban encryption so people don't have to deal with bitlocker recovery keys :^)
>You are the sole level 1 crowdstrike intern working today, everyone else is on vacation
>>101468170the worst is yet to come
>>101465307D'OE!
>>101468170When the end of the world comes, I'll be on this site laughing with the rest of you fags.
>>101468170Never trust auto updates without testing
>>101468121I wonder how hard they are gonna get sued over this
>>101468170push first test later
Hmm, company's bitlocker keys is on a boot-looping server...
>>101468230fix the server first then?
>>101468257what if the server is bitlocker encrypted too?
>>101468230You did make backups, right? Right?!
>>101465575Is the current administration seriously trying to get into a war with Iran before the elections? They're desperate.Or will this happen during the upcoming Trump presidency?
>>101468170Performing manual updates after serious testing is the way to go, fuck everything cloud connected 24/7
>>101467655>FSB front
this is the fall of the western american empire
>>101468280Backup servers are important so they need to be protected with CS antivirus too, anon.
>>101468277find recovery keys for the server
>>101468277then get that bitlocker key?
Trying to wrap my head around this. CrowdStrike is basically deployed antivirus that watches behavior, rather than checking for specific virus signatures, right? Is this a case of satisfying compliance rather than doing something functional, because it sounds like snake oil that accomplishes little more than the baked in antivirus would.
Have Americans and Europeans been affected by this or was it mainly Australia
>>101468288The war is happening regardless of who gets elected. And it won't be just weapons supplying this time because Israel is involved. Prepare for the draft.
>>101468348Scandinavia here
>>101468300You have a offside backup, right? RIGHT?!
>>101468348It's global, burgers are still asleep
>>101468371Oh you mean the offsite backup we had in case of fire/flood etc? Well antivirus is important...
>>101468341It's a snakeoil product. I have seen so many of these 'push da button' DEPLOY DEPLOY DEPLOY security services rushed to production and no success stories of how they actually ever stopped anything. That's never first line of defense in a security incident scenario. But what can you expect from modern security cucks. These people are just collecting paychecks and their skills don't amount to any actual knowledge, they just look for vendors pushing products, purchase some garbage, install it, then call it a day.
>>101468386How fucked are IT support wagies gonna be in a couple of hours?
>>101468400Blood in the streets.
>>101468341It does both. Also it does Intrution Prevention(IPS) when it detects something.
>>101468400Less fucked than non-wagies who are broke and eat ut of trash bins
>>101468348australia got it during the middle-end of the word day, euro/burger got it overnight/early morning so only places open at night were obvious and they have a chance to fix it by morning. Japan lost some vending machines, the rest of asia does not use security software
>>101468348Poland and France are affected as well
STICKY
>>101468341it does both. You can do exclusions and on demand scans like a typical AV too. cursing the zoomer who recommended this product, should have just used rapid7
>>101468387Yes, or in case of ransomware...
Just 4 hours more and it's the weekend.
>>101468461Well that system is firewalled off so ransomware can't domain hop to it. It's on a separate domain with separate credentials. Uh.. .but it runs AV... whoops!
>>101468444Who the fuck wears a pin striped suit with clown shoes and no socks?
>>101468502pajeet
>>101468502I honestly can't decide if it's AI generated video or not
>>101468348The more (circumsized) dick you suck the more you got affected
So why were there reports of Azure being down earlier?
>>101468519it killed azure probably
>>101468519Also because of CrowdStrike https://azure.status.microsoft/en-us/status
>>101468170>not my problem
>>101464980What is it even supposed to do? Some kind of anti malware?
>>101468597endpoint security
>>101468444 are these pajeets or mudslimes
>>101467383Blue screen of radiation poisoning
