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anyways, I am not trying to hijack this thread with a rant. Here is an actual useful link, the 2025-2026 resume strategy just dropped (https://www.reddit.com/r/cscareerquestions/comments/1n3q78p/comment/nbgqnbb/). I'm about to brush my resume off...I've only had one job since Valentines Day 2023........

in 2022...I was working 3 remote jobs making more money than Obama and having sex with beautiful women of mixed European and African-American ancestry. I will post some proof in the thread, but this is /twg/.

I hope you bastards have a great day, we are going to survive this shit, and always remember, there is a guy saying "Nothing on my end" and having raw sex daily while raking in 300k+

>>106481538
>Trump is beefing w/ Modi, so maybe H-1Bs could be on the chopping block soon who knows

any day now guys... were going to start winning.. any... day.... please mr trump save us

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>>106481538
>>106481594
you can tell I'm being foreal because it's almost stand-up time

I like waking up a bit early and getting my ducks in a row

130k remote, and if you saw my PRs you would be infuriating by my lack of work. I can go days and weeks without any meaningful PR

I use Rasperry Pis and GLiNet devices to VPN back into my home network at my condo and my moms house.

I've worked remotely in London, Portugal, Miami, Chicago and both LA and SF

I plan on being in Rio for Carnival 2026 - God Bless Us, and remember when you guys get to this position, to look out somewhat for the next engineer and keep it fucking simple

the business is not your friend, you are an expensive

the business is the reason we are in this market in the first place....just do the minimal, stack jobs if possible, travel and work on getting access to raw sex

I'm not having sex rn, wish I was

my colleague recently QUIT and had a baby....he was also a superstar, so there is stuff out there

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skreets is saying we're going back to in-person white-boarding, which is where I made my money in the 2010s

I would literally show up, be handsome, ask me questions about JavaScript and I would answer them in a way only an experienced engineer could

ex.
Question: What is a Closure?
Me: Oh, you mean an anonymous function?

>>106481649
God I miss regular white board problems. None of this memorize a jeet code solution. No, just answer logical questions and solve with some pseudo code.

learn a trade

>managers think you are doing great job
>your team mate hate you
>you are making good money

Do you change jobs or stay?

>>106481989
you keep the checks coming in until you can't anymore

if its remote, you NEVER fucking quit

>>106481989
stay, colleagues can seethe all they want

https://www.reddit.com/r/ExperiencedDevs/comments/1mrfgm2/junior_devs_not_interested_in_software_engineering/
Kek, redditards are angry that people just want to do their job and get paid and have interests and hobbies other than sitting in a dark room programming for free

>>106481989
Why, what did you do to your teammates?

>>106481538
i'm a wfh worker but not a sex haver...
can i still post here...?

>>106482255
>Clean code is not a real thing
Gr8 b8 m8

>>106481989
Stay.

If you flip the scenario, where your team likes you and your manager hates you, you're gonna get PIP'd and fired.

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>>106482260
no

>>106481538
Finally a general for me. Those links were psychotic.

I've gone to 2nd base with a coop student who had a crush on me, but I didn't like her because she had no original opinions - very sheeply. Software ass I've ever squeezed though. Like a marshmallow, but you just know how loose and saggy that'll be in 10 years (she's white)

Last winter I dated a colleague, and we'd have sex on the clock while hunching from home at my vintage, spacious bachelor pad, or her modern shoebox. Broke it off with her because she didn't want kids in the future (she just wasn't good looking enough to do mommy brainwashing, as I've done with a few other women in the past - it works)

I don't really know what I'm working towards. I have 7 years of expenses stashed in ETFs and GICs (4.5%), and my salary is like silver handcuffs. I guess I paid off my mom's recent car she bought with a loan (she desperately needed a new one) and that made have a job more meaningful because I could throw 15k at an issue which eliminates stress for her, and I don't even have to flinch at my bank account dropping.

I'm currently neeting it up (rotting socially) with a new/old gf. She wore a faux latex catsuit I bought her and I nearly got her pregnant.

Oh right, that reminds me. Apparently the pregnancy odds of raw and condom sex are similar over the course of 1 year of use [1]. When I discovering this, I started experimenting. Shower, drink a lot of water, and have raw sex once every 24h. Did that for a month and everything's been fine. But upon further reflection, that article is meaningless. It didn't elaborate on the frequency of sex, nor the hygiene regiments, nor the age, nor the sample sizes - just some dumb anecdotes. Thrice a day is a lot different than thrice a month.

[1] https://www.vice.com/en/article/pulling-out-is-as-effective-as-using-condoms/

>>106481538
>once again, I am not including the links because none of that shit fucking matters. If you didn't hold a job before 2022, you are sinking and/or dead.
Irrelevant to us because we already have jobs. That's why the links are things like cloud health dashboards; they are useful to people who are working.
Take this shit to /utwg/.

>>106482841
>uses links to stack overflow in /twg/ on 4chan.org/g/ instead of browser bookmarks
>claims he's employed

>>106482547
Is this good or bad?
Also is it over for me if I am even asking?

>>106482841
they arent useful but 4chan General Culture is to have 90001 links in the op that we bicker over constantly. removing all of them entirely is a rookie move.

Finally. Sex with creatures.

>>106481821
Software engineering was a trade.

>>106482841
>>106482841
>cloud health dashboards
IT is NOT tech work!!!

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>>106483004
kek

>>106481989
You get new team mates.

>>106482260
Definitely not. I do my best work after turning my wife into a screaming whore.

i wish i were a corporate femboy wife(male)

>>106482629
>Mommy brainwashing
Explain

>>106483128
mommy takes your brain out and washes it

No one should even interview anyone who hasn’t accomplished anything. Ever. Certificates and degrees are not accomplishments; I mean real-world projects with real-world users. There is no excuse for software developers who don’t have a site, app, or service they can point to and say, “I did this, all by myself!” in a world where Google App Engine and Amazon Web Services have free service tiers, and it costs all of $25 to register as an Android developer and publish an app on the Android Market.

>>106483167
I'm not writing code in my free time, rabbi. I work professionally for enterprise companies creating proprietary software. If you want to see an example of what I've done go to https://www.{redacted}.com pay for a faggy SaaS subscription that I personally object to and see my locked down paid feature that uses all of the latest AI bullshit every recruiter creams their pants over.
What does it do? The same shit we did 15 years ago with ajax and a Django server but now it's (((ScAlAbLe))).

Tech is dead. Can I use my certs to just become a pilot or underwater welder or some tradie bullshit like that?

wfh on the company laptop while generating homemade ai goonslop on my pc. the hammer will fall sometime or another but life is goon i mean good in the meantime

>>106483128
Strap in because I've decided to lay out many years of insights, condensed into 2000 characters. You're welcome.

>First you get them horny and emotionally vulnerable / reliant on you. Being a provider of resources and emotional stability can't be taught or explain in under 2000 characters, but here are some ideas, regardless. Cook for them (they will get lazy and won't do it for themselves after a while). Don't be neurotic. Listen to their menopausal rants and be solid as a rock no matter what they say. A literal father role.
>Repeatedly tell them you're gonna get them pregnant before, during and after sex. This is euphoric for them and the euphoria leads to irrational decisions like actually getting pregnant when they were previously uncertain/against the idea.
>Talk about how cute and healthy your kids would be because of both of your good qualities. This creates belief in the idea.
>Tell them you love them consistently to build more trust.
>Don't take them into public and they'll lose track of normalcy. Keep them occupied with brainwashing TV shows that show lots of sporadic sex to keep them constantly turned on.
>Carbs and caffeine make people horny. Make it for them.

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Fuck my life lads

>>106483516
can confirm, i'm a man and these would all make me feel sexy and thus be down for sex with creature(you) (except the caffeine/carbs, i tend to crash and lose all libido and require natural sleep to replenish energy)

>>106483621
Are you gay by any chance?

>>106475458
Thanks. How and where do you actually apply though? I dunno nothing about getting a job and it'd be my first one.
>>106475624
Thanks. Id like to get one since I'm basically broke rn. Also I don't have any experience or certs

>>106483648
are you BLACK

>>106481538
>>106481594
>>106481600
>oh-ho-ho sex having 300k me!

You're a shit coder and a loser getting replaced by jeets and AI. If you were any good, you wouldn't be in this predicament.

>>106483686
saddest samefagging and bait attempt anyone has ever seen on 4chan

hows this:
i buy the bumble travel thing
i set location shangai, tokyo, etc
i get the constant pings "youve got a like" dopamine hits
after a week i change to some other big asian city
i dont actually have to date or leave my house, this is all I really need

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>>106483700
kek anon btfo'd for being negative and pissy

let's all learn to be happy and kind

>>106483700
i accept your concession, failure

>>106483220
>I'm not writing code in my free time, rabbi
that anon is not talking about "writing code in (your) free time", he's talking about building a product. you are not supposed to be some random worker, you are a professional.
you exude mediocrity. one has to wonder how people like you even have jobs (assuming you've ever worked)

>>106483727
do you even talk to the girls?
you ever been to Asia?
we should organize a twg trip

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When doing a null comparison, those who write null == variable are scum, but those who are not even consistent and do it both ways are worse than scum.

>>106483855
sex with each and every creature in attendance

>Today's agenda is updating documentation.
Man, fuck paperwork.

>>106483915
I thought the code was the documentation

>>106481538
have a random reminder:
never, EVER help a narcissistic person. instead, get as far away from them as you can. they will ALWAYS twist things to make themselves look like the victims and make YOU look bad, to avoid compromises, &c.

>>106483946
If program managers could read they'd be very upset.

>>106483946
This. Documenting a codebase literally makes it less maintainable!

>>106483974
>get as far away from them as you can
*as fast as you can.
no matter how much time and resources you've put into their wellbeing, they won't be grateful or pay back, so if you did help them in any way, assume you've wasted your time and resources on them, leave immediately and move on.
this is a lesson I still have not learned, and I'm almost 40. I wish I had had a father....

>>106482255
>believing content on the front page of a subreddit is organic
le heckin keks my fellow anonymous!

>>106481989
>boss likes you and making good money
who gives a shit about teammates?

>>106484008
>I wish I had had a father....
I don't think that's a good excuse for being fucked over by a narcissist. We have the Internet to act as a surrogate father and mentor. Notheless, I feel your pain. Here.

https://illimitableman.wordpress.com/2014/05/08/the-suffering-of-the-lost-boys/

t. lost boy

>>106483839
I've built products that are pretty highly well known. But my company is so large it's hard to put your name into those products when every product is the combined effort of like 30 cross functional participants from design, qa, product, eng, data science etc.
But yeah, I "made" it.

>>106481821
currently following the "learn to weld" path

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>>106482255
Based zoomers making millennial söydevs seethe

Hot take: people who don't enjoy programming are not real programmers.
T. Zoomer

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>>106484143

brain = boom

How and where do you actually search for IT jobs? Where do you even start..

Thinking of hiring a sysadmin at my startup. Not actually to work, it's all software defined cloud lol. I'm just gonna have that femboy as my personal concubine. Should I get two so I can throw him to the RTO retards so they stop complaining?

>>106484380
https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=IT+Job+listing+sites
And the Career Advice section on the OP of the last thread.

>>106484380
Do you have a clearance?

>>106484596
a what

>>106484627
It's the flap of skin between your ballsack and your ass.

silly boys

I fear I might be making the subject matter expert on the team mad at me. They do not want code pushed to UAT due to a code freeze but this fucking Agile shit is making me still push for having my changes pushed to UAT so the fucking testers can test it and therefore have it be done on time before the sprint ends. Literally the code freeze is fucking me over here and I doubt the damn scrum master has the brains to understand this and I'll most likely get blamed for it in the retro by the scrum master.
I feel bad for being like this to the expert guy, I just blame Agile and these stupid corporate requirements around it getting stricter with each passing quarter.

>>106484089
>I don't think that's a good excuse for being fucked over by a narcissist
well, I wish someone, ANYONE, had told me that my mom is narcissistic. I might have been offended for a while, but then I would have understood many things.
I was born poor, so I haven't had an easy path in my life.

>>106484380
>How and where do you actually search for IT jobs?
in todays environment? in conferences, meetups, discord/telegram/matrix/IRC groups, forums, ... but ONLY the ones that include employed people.

>>106483516
>Cook for them
You are the mommy

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>>106484714

>>106483839
Meritocracy is a joke that never existed in the first place, anyone that tries to convince you otherwise is just trying to make sure you don't get in on the blatant nepotism (politely dubbed 'networking') that they're clearly benefiting from.
I should know since I got a sub 3.0 GPA in under grad, did no internships and still got a job at a fortune 500 as a software engineer and I still have it 10 years later.
It was a very refilling realization.

>>106484891
I got all 4 of my swe jobs with 0 inside help.

t. meritocracy and luck haver

>>106484891
>I'm a retarded nepo hire therefore so is everyone else
I got every swe job I've ever had through merit

>>106483167
I don't write software in my free time.

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>Hello sir, are you interested in this 6 month Help Desk contract position that pays $17 an hour, no wfh, mon - fri 9 am - 6 pm
Every fucking day now

>>106483727
really? you'd get dopamine hits from ugly girls?

>>106485372
nta, but I too like compliments.

>>106485303
?

>>106485048
>>106485025
Yeah, yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that
You're still not getting that promotion btw, nor will it protect you from lay offs.
I know how to play the game, which is why I am already getting my promotion.

>>106485516
LinkedIn messages. These are the only offers I ever receive.

>>106484891
>nepotism (politely dubbed 'networking
you are fucking stupid if you believe this. nepotism is completely different to meeting people who work in the field with the intent of maybe getting a job by showing them your skills

>I got a sub 3.0 GPA in under grad
imagine still believing that academia translates to credentials in real life in 2025. you don't get paid to solve made up academic "problems", you get paid to maybe solve real life problems, maybe sell some bullshit to scam poor and rich retards. academia has nothing to do with that, at least not in 99.9% of the cases.

>get in company
>everything working perfectly
>for some reason, upper management decides to reorganize
>my cool boss gets replaced with a retarded boss
How common is this? It has happened twice in my carreer, I can't believe I'm this unlucky.

>Take power nap in cubicle
>Get woken up by the sleep paralysis demon of the disembodied voice of my tech lead sarcastically saying "Working hard anon?"
>Feel on edge for the rest of the day

>>106485528
I got a 7% bonus, and a 5% raise last year

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Strong movement in Big Boomer.

Take care I love you anon.

So what's this Jobs Now shit? https://boards.4chan.org/pol/thread/514802832#bottom
Actually helpful or just another scam on the spam board?

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>>106481538
Wfh sex haver here, been in the industry for over 15 years, been fully remote since the coof. I too have never touched 1337code. I also do not have a linkedin account. I merely have experience and an interesting resume that shows exactly what I can do.

You do give referrals to anyone who politely asks you on LinkedIn right?

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Today for lunch at the Microsoft cafeteria I had a rib-eye steak with some macaroni and cheese and brown rice, and it was....................pretty good! The steak was a little bit fatty, but good enough for $18 (including the sides) and I ate it all.

What are the best certs to get if I have senior level business experience and a non-technical background if my goal is to get a job where I make the lives of hardworking developers hell?

>>106481538
Also a wfh sex haver. Dev since early 2000s, now a "staff" engineer whatever that means since its a small company. Making around 150 cad but i think its time to move on im seeing some of the us remote salaries and feeling a bit hungry. No idea what to expect interviewing. Handsome and have some charisma, dont really get nervous so my plan is to smile and act confident and speak english handsomely.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow

>>106485937
>t. target for layoff and replaced by 3 other "engineers" for the 4th of the cost to train an AI that will eventually replace them too

told no name company im quitting for fagman job and gave 1 month notice
everyone is nice and encouraging and sad to see me go and grateful i gave so much notice and asking me for feedback and stuff

i feel like a kid from a 19th century village who gets to go to the big city for college

>>106486265
my manager took down prod because he was vibe coding queries, I feel comfy

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>>106486308
I'm too scared to push anything to prod
>>106486299
Why leave a comfy noname company for fagman hell? Is it the $18 cafeteria steaks?

>>106486323
>Why leave a comfy noname company for fagman hell? Is it the $18 cafeteria steaks?
ego? also 2x tc. im sure ill regret it though dont worry. losing wfh too

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>>106486323
wholly mother of comfy posting

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>>106486340
>losing wfh
oof

>>106481538
remote work, living with a gf, sex sporadic (like maybe twice a year). after 14 years it just doesn't hit like it used to, so I don't care.

>>106486423
get rid of her dumbass

>>106486308
I heard a similar story from a colleague of mine, the manager failed upward and gotten yet another raise.
Also whether or not an AI actually works won't matter in the eyes of an MBA. What is important though is if the MBA actually thinks the AI is good enough.

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>worked from home today
>same as every day
>gym time
>>106486423
pic

>>106486437
nah, she's cool - the kind of woman you hope to grow old with. I am not going to dump her for some younger sugar babe just to get bored again with sex after a couple of years.

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>>106486340
>losing wfh
I would never. Absolute best thing to ever happen.

I maximize income/uncomfy ratio, personally. An increase in income isn't worth slashing comfiness. Just dropped my side-gig because I got a new boss and he wanted to start making me do actual work + cameras on, no thanks buckaroo

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>>106486519
I guess it's ok if you're both over 70 right now.

>>106486423
>sex sporadic (like maybe twice a year)
Not for her, lmao

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>>106486554
kek

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>>106486423
>living with a gf, sex sporadic (like maybe twice a year)
Why would you freely admit something this embarrassing

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>>106486677
>>106486677
yeah his 4chan reputation is ruined now

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>wfh
>company is based in a different state with a smaller location where I live
>announced the location here is no longer profitable and they won't be renewing the lease in December
Am I cooked?

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>>106486717
Keep unnecessary pathetic information about yourself to yourself.

>anon your metrics make you the number 2 person in the office but your attendance in office has been severely lacking
>next week you will be required to come into the office 5 days a week

I’m quitting next week, Monday morning 3 hours before my shift. Those 2 wfh days allowed me to do college work to get my degree. 7 years experience but no degree is what’s keeping me out of managerial roles. Sure the paycheck is nice but I’m just setting myself up for being a low level engineer forever.

>>106486730
no

>>106486738
They want you to leave that's why they're canceling your wfh gold status. You're giving them what they want.

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>>106486738
One of the managers in my office is ex-Netflix and has no education above high school. They used to fly him in a private jet from his home in LA to Netflix HQ in the Bay every weekday.
College degrees are really just about getting the initial entry-level SWE job...

>>106486730
u VILL know boring shit about my life and u VILL be happy

>>106486738
make them fire you

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>"sorry i have to reject your pr, it conflicts with a new feature i am working on"
>me: "ok, when will the new feature be ready? i can update my changes after that"
>"i will start planning it next week"
fuck off...

>increasingly lower salaries
>increasingly higher barrier of entry
>companies firing entire departments and replacing them with jeets for 1/10th the cost
>nobody cares because everybody is focused on the border hoppers
IT is fucked for the next decade at least

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>>106486717

>>106486795
NTA but how to do this, I'm getting cucked too and I need the liquidation

>>106483874
why does seeing an anime girl this fucking angry, like she is about to cave in my skull with a tire iron and yet that gives me a raging erection
why does my body do this to me?

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>>106486785
I like it anon, don't mind those other bad vibe givers

>>106486822
mache alles?

>>106486725
No you're fine, everything is alright. Don't worry about it. By the way, have you updated your resume recently?

>>106486800
just fix the conflicts then
if you're working on a big new feature that's gonna take a while, then you should be regularly pulling master branch into yours so you can fix conflicts early and easy

>>106486167
you really need to stop rating most dishes as "pretty good"
where's your vocabulary?

>>106486961
My feature is tiny. There are no code conflicts yet, because he hasn't started his feature yet. He's just saying that what I'm doing will conflict with what he wants to build once he finishes it.

>>106487064
They're all "pretty good". Except the one time I had the chicken teriyaki and it was straight up bad. I don't remember if I posted about that one or not. So far, nothing has been better than "pretty good" though. It's still cafeteria food.
There are some on-site restaurants I could go eat at I guess, and they probably have really good food, but it feels kind of weird going to a place like that alone.

>>106487188
why not go with one of your cute female coworkers?

>>106487266
No one else on my team comes to the office, I'm not sure if anyone else even lives in this area. And I'm too shy to talk to anyone else (especially girls) on my floor.

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>>106487307
>I'm too shy to talk to anyone else (especially girls)
if you were in your 20s, I'd say to suck it up and be normal
But you're in your late 30s, it's too late and you're gonna die alone with no friends

>>106487084
Yeah, I meant that for him not you

What the heck is EOS?

>>106487379
It's a term something us IT monkeys have to worry about when buying, maintaining and installing equipment. Generally the only time most companies upgrade equipment is when you can no longer get warrenty support or security updates anymore.
https://www.parkplacetechnologies.com/blog/eol-vs-eosl-vs-eos-differences-comparison/
https://blog.gantsystems.com/eol-end-of-life-vs-eos-end-of-service-whats-the-difference-whats-it-mean-for-your-business

>>106487366
Yeah, it's too late for me, I already knew that. Ironically, one of the reasons I took this job is because there was an office and I could work on my social skills talking to coworkers... and then I get here and I have no coworkers here...

>>106487376
He wants me to build my changes on top of feature though, which he hasn't started yet.

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They're probably releasing me from my project to move me to another one, gonna have to go to the office 3 times a week. My pay is shite and I should have left a long time ago. I'm looking for something else, but is there a cheatsheet to get fired for getting liquidated? Been working for 6 years here, they'll probably give me next to nothing if I quit voluntarily.

>>106487497
Yeah I'm saying he should just merge your PR now, you're done first so you get to merge first. Then he can change whatever he needs to in his branch when he works on his stuff.

I mean I get where he's coming from too, there are legit circumstances where I might agree with him. Like if you were about to merge something in but what he's working on will completely invalidate your work, then sure (though that should have been better planned as a team well in advance so that crossroads never came up to begin with).

It sounds like he just doesn't want to do any extra work though

>>106487555
Yeah
The problem is it's a function other teams might need to call through an API, so if I put it in now then it might have to get deprecated if we move it to the other API (which hasn't been started yet). And honestly the current API works fine. I asked him what his thoughts even are, he didn't respond, so whatever I don't care enough to bother doing more now. It's just annoying

>>106487444
no...

>new PM asks about a page
>asks why there aren't any spinners
>I explain it uses skeletons
>PM says the users probably don't know that a "shiny square" means loading
>I say it's present everywhere on the internet including youtube, facebook, instagram, etc.
>PM is unmoved, demands spinners are added "wherever loading is happening"
god I hate boomers

>>106487697
This is why I do backend

>>106487697
lmao

>>106487697
Do you get to choose the spinners? Make them skeletons.

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>>106487697
I fucking laughed

>>106487716
This. I hate the front-end ecosystem so I already don't wanna do front-end, but dealing with lusers is way worse than some old piece of shit React + Webpack code base.

almost friday lads

>>106488004
With frontend, you have to deal with more stupid opinions since everyone can see it and wants to tell you what they don't like. With backend, you can get into arguments but it's only with other engineers. The CEO isn't going bitch at you over the formatting of your SQL statement.

>>106488036
Yeah and then designers come up with retarded shit like having the username and password inputs on two separate pages and just generally adding more clicking for some aesthetic reason as opposed to making something functional.

>>106484891
Companies that get complacent and don't optimize for meritocracy will eventually fail. You can see signs of this happening with companies like Apple, Boeing, and Intel.

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>>106488012
Yes it's Friday and I'm already depressed.

>>106488087
>having the username and password inputs on two separate pages
But that's a reasonably good idea. Decreases error rate.

>>106488118
Boeing and Intel literally did anti-meritocratic hiring for years
Apple is past-peak because they’ve been playing it safe and stagnant for years in tech. Cook was great for short term profitability but he’s stifled all the R&D compared to Jobs

>>106481538
I called in sick for today so I could tinker some more with the local exchange lab I build on my laptop, study and code.
Next step is introducing an older 2016 exchange server and trying to replicate some mailboxes and so on.
Then try to get it running alongside the exchange 2019 instance. I really wish I had some sort of template for an exchange mailbox that wasn't from work to try out at home.

Other then that, I will research exchange SE and try to upgrade it on the exchange 2019 cu 15 instance and do some tests which might be important for my project documentation and to quickly facilitate the progress.
Especially when I am back at work.
There is more to do, but I don't wanna over promise and then under deliver

>>106488183
The iphone and ipod was Steve's jobs last push in the company even if it pissed off a bunch of C-Suite execs it was the right move to save the company on emerging technology. More so he stepped on their feet to set the product quality in the right direction instead of shiting out garbage like microshit did with their version of the ipod/tablet. Like george lucas once said you have to throw shit against the wall to see what sticks. Most people are not willing to do that in their own personal life and tend to carry that over to the workplace.

>our company's "agile" is just waterfall every two weeks
lol

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>>106488172
Maybe I should try to grind regardless.

>>106488215
Thank you for doing that necromancy. Postfix and exchange are the most cursed tech ever. Luckily buried deep and sealed by couple obscure people in each org. They make production access dbs seem like harmless boomer foolishness.

>>106488292
Only variation i have ever seen was testing before the start of the waterfall. The gist was that we could verify issues already noted before continuing with the waterfall method. It wasn't that bad since we sometimes found shit that could be fixed instead of dealing with alot of hindsight 20/20.

>>106486795
So is the bad rap from the previous job worth the unemployment benefits?

>>106488312
Well, it has a twofold purpose:
- create notes and find out what can go wrong doing this to fill my documentation (requirement to pass my degree)
- intermediary step to turn the company infrastructure cloud native, if the other departments catch up.

I was really lucky that exchange 2019 also reached eol and requires SE and that the project is necessary for the company's future. It having a real purpose and not just being a routine work saved me.
I hope the examiners accept it and do not reject the project submission I sent since the company's work ethic in risk management is to test in isolation before vital infrastructure is changed.

>>106488504
Creating an isolated environment for that and not directly applying the job reeks to them like I am doing a fake project, reeking to high heavens.
I stated the reasons in the form, but I bet they might reject it.
Which means I am fucked, it they do.
At least in Germany.

I unironically think it should be my company's responsibility to find a gf for me. I have thought about this extensively and can defend it from any possible critique.

>>106488593
What if she's a DEI hire?

>>106487716
>>106488004
Its a tough economy out there, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
I wish I were fully backend but, as of now, I'm fullstack.

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Yes boss i need this to WFH. Its a mobile office so if anyone one wants to join me in the overlander van then they must buy beer for the rest of us already in there.

>>106483915
be glad you get to have documented projects lol. this company keeps doing projects over because everyone forgets what's where and why
>why was this code written this way?
>uhh idk, go ask Mike
>hey mike did you write this
>ahh yeah I don't know just rewrite it or something

>>106488817
this is why we started to use confluence and jira.
It can help, but when it comes to helpdesk it can be horror due to its strength to be extremely transparent.
Now they will know that I solved a customer's problem, but it took longer than 15 minutes.

>>106487307
what's your org? i'd meet up with you but my coworkers do come to the office and we eat together every single day and they are a bunch of normies so I definitely am not telling them that I'm bailing to eat with someone from 4chan

>mentor for an intern
>presentation today, the big boss loved the idea, wants the idea fully fleshed out and implemented
>probably gonna be the lead on it since I'm the only one now who's worked on it at all
perfect

If you don't have at least 161 billion saved up, you're a non-developer and a poorfag.

We're already in a recession.
How the fuck doesn't anyone notice?

>>106489823
Been hearing this for the last 2-3 years.
>Why no one notice
P sure we're at the point where the government/media will only admit it if it's already become a depression

>>106489823
Number go up. That's literally it.
"Recession" actually has a very specific definition and relates solely to market growth, not just "economommy feel bad". It's like how the wars in the middle east were just "counterterrorism" or whatever because they were fighting the taliban/alqaeda/etc who were not recognized as the reigning powers of the country, so really we're not AT WAR WITH AFGHANISTAN we're just executing military action :^)

Because stonks still go up it's technically not a recession, you're just poor :^)

>>106489841
>"Recession" actually has a very specific definition and relates solely to market growth, not just "economommy feel bad".
It's also kind of a tricky thing since a recession is declared after the fact, so even if you are in a recession, it'll take a while for it to be announced (since you need to wait for the numbers to come in to make the call).

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>>106487697
rinse and repeat
>>106488593
why do you think females quotas exist in tech? Hello?
>>106489823
what is even a recession? You can't consooom as much as you used to? Literally everyone is having it better than people even back in 2010 but they are bawwing their eyes out if they have to show up for work. I mean, I get the sentiment and fully support it, but let's have some perspectives.

>>106489953
>what is even a recession?
Wage stagnation, constant layoffs, applying to hundreds of jobs and getting rejected (unless you're a dirt cheap jeet), rapid mass enshittification of goods and services across the board.

>>106488593
That's how they used to do it in Japan, now they have the exact same "muh sexual harassment" bullshit like in the w*st, maybe even worse.

>>106489982
Nah it's just when number go down. Number is currently going up, you're just poor :^) eat less avocado toast :^) stop using uber to klarna your burrito :^)

>>106489982
>rapid mass enshittification of goods and services
assuming you're using that "word" correctly, enshittification is not a recession indicator. times can be good financially despite UX being abhorrent

>>106489992
Paying more for less or something of a far lower quality than before is absolutely a recession indicator.
Organic economy growth is over, the only way to have le line go up is to cut costs and find insidious ways to milk and fuck over the customer.

>>106489982
That's not what a recession is. Some of those things might occur in a recession, but it's not what it means.

>>106490021
"enshittification" refers more to UX and service quality without care for cost though, or at worst the "non-costed" parts of something, i.e. the parts of it you didn't specifically pay for, becoming worse (such as UX!)

>>106490029
for real its this. you dont see "recession" in the news for that reason alone. it's a specific word with a specific meaning and that thing isnt happening.
>BBUT THINGS ARE SOOOOO BAAAAADDDD THOUGH
yes, they are, but it's technically not a recession, it's just a dystopia

>>106490043
>Technically not a recession
Didn't Zviden change the definition multiple times?

>>106481538
>hs drop out
>current job title lead ai engineer
>wfh status - I have to fly to Vegas for a conference soon, but other then that full remote in 3rd world
>sex status - burned through 30 condoms this month , gonna get a blowie while playing video games later
>tc status - kinda low but high equity

Am I making it? I kinda wanna get tc higher but I was gonna make some side projects for cash. Significant equity fwiw

>>106490069
how about you source it yourself. im pretty sure "recession" has always referred to total market valuation and it being a recession if the market doesn't grow faster than inflation

What are some industries where work is actually fun and interesting and you don't have to maintain 50 year old Java legacy crap and have 100 managers and 500 meetings every day?
Is it unironically crypto?
I don't even mind making less money, I just want to do something that doesn't make me want to rope myself.

>>106490087
>Is it unironically crypto?
no, crypto is super dead and is basically just a social media management industry and 1% fintech
>BBBUT MUH BITCOINS SO VALUABLE
so invest in bitcoins themselves, not in trying to get a job doing ????? in "crypto" as an industry (there is no industry, even mining is largely dead)

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>>106490074
Idk what is "the committee on ways and means" but

>>106490069
No because NBER is not controlled by the presidency and is in fact a private organisation, and NBER is basically who has the "official" say on whether or not there's a recession.

NBER's definition of when there is or is not a recession is a bit looser than the traditional definition of GDP shrinking in two consecutive quarters.

>The NBER's traditional definition of a recession is that it is a significant decline in economic activity that is spread across the economy and that lasts more than a few months. The committee's view is that while each of the three criteria—depth, diffusion, and duration—needs to be met individually to some degree, extreme conditions revealed by one criterion may partially offset weaker indications from another.

>>106490094
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymJ3wjosRJI

>>106490094
>negative growth
yeah
>if the market doesn't grow faster than inflation
literally number(collective stonk price) went up sufficiently so it's not a recession, even if everything is expensive and everyone is homeless

>>106490096
>NBER is not controlled by the presidency
not for long

>>106490107
>not for long
Are you guys going to abolish the first amendment or something?

>>106490043
I think enshittification can apply to everything, not just websites.

>>106490029
>>106490074
There's really no point in arguing about semantics. This kind of shit-flinging isn't productive, which why those bullshit terms were invented in the first place to prevent discussion.
Things are bad, and it doesn't matter how it's called.
Too much "money" has been printed and pumped into the economy, and now there's going to be a massive readjustment.
We're seeing it in real time.

>>106490107
>literally number(collective stonk price)
Recessions are measured from GDP, not from stocck prices. It doesn't matter how inflated Tesla's stock price is, what matters is how many cars they produce and how many brake services they perform.

>>106490118
personally i wasnt really trying to shit-fling, rather just explaining why the propaganda machines refuse to use the R-word. things are indeed bad.

>>106490126
gdp is just as fake a number so i dont care. it's still a figure i can derisively use in "number go up/down" meme phrasing

>>106490138
GDP is a lot more real than stock evaluations though. At least GDP measures things that have been made. Meanwhile AI companies are valued at billions even though the only value they have is that they've hired the right person.

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>>106490087
I'd pick either a do-nothing job in upper management or a delivery driver to high paying clients living in nice neighborhoods. Otherwise, working is a scam.

>>106490149
>At least GDP measures things that have been made.
does it though? it would include sales of intangible services.

>>106490164
Yes, things that are made, like the providing of services.

>>106490157
11. They will in fact just kill you if they cannot own you.

>>106490172
more like MADE UP heh gottem

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>>106490172
LOL fake as shit.

How do I afford a small four/six-seater single-engine piston airplane as a software engineer?

>>106490327
Only option is to buy used and fix it up yourself(not without inspections). Planes are not that expensive.

https://www.aerotrader.com/aircraft-for-sale

You could always join the military and become a pilot.

>>106490327
pretty easily, the first one i found is 50k
https://www.hangar67.com/cessna172

much like with boats, the true cost isn't the vehicle itself, it's a place to put it, a way to feed it, and all the red tape to get it anywhere other than its hangar

Fuck forgot the tax rules have changed for shipping. I hate dealing with DHL.

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>>106481594
>>106481623
sounds hedonistic and a tad lonely, bless you anon

Don't know about anyone else, but it seems most IT Managers are always complete cunts

>>106490572
Most of them are tech illiterates. So the idea of just fucking around to solve a problem puts them in a fit.

>>106490572
Most "managers" can't even manage themselves

>>106490327
My dad knew a guy who shared ownership of a helicopter with several other people. He took us on a ride for way below market rate. Don't remember how much it was, but probably something stupid like 20€ or 50€, since he was just going on a recreational ride anyway. I think they also rented it out to offset costs?

>>106489982
meanwhile I have hard time to find a parking space in the grocery store. Let's face it, we all like to complain, but we live like kings. Imagine telling someone in 1990 everyone will have a supercomputer in their pockets and their biggest problem is what logo is engraved on the front and they are exclusively used for social media, ordering useless chink shit to be delivered the next day and sending dickpicks/nudes. I swear to god people longing for a recession just to feel something. Turns out consooooming leaves your soul empty, huh

>>106490590
>>106490605
I had an interview the other day, not an IT one but a dev one, for some reason their new Head of IT was there.
Instantly tries bigging himself up by listing off a bunch of 'big name' companies (if he's so brilliant why is he now working for a small company?)
I guess because I didn't bullshit and pretend to be impressed we got off on the wrong foot, rest of the interview he mostly spent with a grumpy face.
I had a good rapport with the Architect but felt like the IT Manager was talking down to me throughout.

>>106490807
I get the purpose of an ego is to protect yourself from external conflict by putting up a front for people to see but boasting about experience without anything to actually back it up is why people are skeptical of Ivy/Private college students actual ability to preform in the workplace. All of this boasting has to be backed up in the real world.

>thank you for the application, we need to run a background check and contact your current employer

wtf

>>106490888
This is a big fear of mine, which is why I only tend to go looking for a new job when I don't give a fuck about the old one anymore
But this is kind of a big no-no for a company to do

>be me
>make a new build on jenkins that i need to deploy to pre prod
>jenkins build script is supposed to copy the .war file to remote server to a folder that wildfly deploys from
>team of jeets (10 jeets located in india) manages our servers
>due to (((security))) I as a developer cannot have a write access to the pre prod server. I can only read several folders and have access to syslogs
>i cant have access to jenkins either. apparently my time is too expensive for the company to do anything else on jenkins that clicking "build branch" button
>team of jeet did some upgrade of jenkins
>jenkins now copies file to wrong folder /opt/wildfly/deployments/app/app.war needs to be /opt/wildfly/deployments/app.war
>create first ticket on monday descriebe problem, include wrong file path and correct file path.
>jeets do nothing
>urge ticket on tuesday
>at wednesday a jeet named rajesh braapbraatprat writes that it identified a problem and it is fixed
>do a new build
>nothing changes on the server
>check jenkins build logs
>jenkins now uploads the file to a completly different server, where its deployment broke another application due to lack of server resources
>deploy to prod had to be deplayed because jeet cannot edit a fucking string properly
>im pissed
>teamleader is piseed
>business department is pissed
>everybody knows its the jeets but company refuses to change the policy. apparently we are cutting development cost by hiring incompetent jeets in india paying then 10 rupies and make entire business department and half of dev deparment wait for a week
Thats what i call productivity increase

>>106490960
real question is whether you are wfh or not and can you have sexo while waiting for the jeets to crank the servers

>>106481623
I'm in the same boat. work from home every day. my standups are in the afternoon. most days I just open up a few change requests with a dozen lines of changes at most and then I call it a day. I'm partly lazy but in part the company moves so fucking slow that if I need merge approval it basically takes 12 to 24 hours. thank god for enterprise.

>>106482629
>Software ass

>>106490960
Being a java dev is more grim than having to deal with jeets
Fix your life anon

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>>106491313
in this regard i got my shit together anon

but im not the one your replying to

>>106491313
Only jobs available in Germany asap, especially with bootstrap.

I prefer C# since there are cool online courses that are free and thorough.
Like the csharpacademy.
And I got powershell in 30 lunches gifted by my boss.

I might have to come back and talk with you guys how to coordinate the future todos, if I manage to graduate this year.

>>106490888
I only remember seeing a background check on a single job application where it felt it wasn't necessary. Or at least it wasn't immediately obvious why one was needed. Otherwise background checks are usually on stuff like working on an email service or working for a payment provider.

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>>106488012
i was already at saturday when i first read your shit
>>106491473
>And I got powershell in 30 lunches gifted by my boss.
dude wtf

>>106491521
What's the problem?
It's helpful for the environment I work in and it made me more productive

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>>106491638
>What's the problem?
me
bang bang bang

nah im just playin'


did you know that cyberbunker hosted almost all vidya there ever was on osx86?

the cops are windows freaks and deserve death for taking it offline IMHO

lock me up for that opinion, i die proud to have said it at least once

my anger (not rage) knows few boundaries this year. im fucking bored, i want my vidya dls back, fuck all of you right now.

>>106490071
200k is the threshold for making it

200k over 4 years == 1mil
100k is simply floating

>>106481538
Holy autism kill me /g/
I randomly applied to some managerial position which opened internally.
Cause whythehellnot.jpg
HR roastie calls me today to set the interview.
I panick and say
>Heh I wasn't really interested it was only a joke

Kill me kill me kill me now

>>106491794
150k yr here you really have to double down on paying off debts(college, car and mortgage) while maxing out investments(mutual fund, CD's, 401k's) and having a healthy savings account(50-80k) to feel like your making it. 200k would make all of this much easier to manage.

>>106491813
holy based

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Here's your competition in the job market.

worst OP I've ever seen, unironically kys

>>106489953
>>106490802
>actually pretending the economy is in a good space because people can buy groceries despite everything continuously getting worse for everyone but megacorps (at the exec and shareholder levels only) and the rich

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>>106492085
It's always some loser who wants other people to read their blog and the only way they can get that is by hijacking the OP of a general.

>>106490071
>burned through 30 condoms
I hate condoms. Raw or I might as well jack off

>>106481538
Unfortunately, I became WFH after having children, so my wife is homeschooling them all day instead of bouncing on my cock.

>>106487902
Reading comprehension?

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so OP, what the fuck am I supposed to do with all of this information? are you satisfied with your life or not? If not, quit being a bitch ass pussy ass complaining ass nigga and get on l337node.

>job description wants security clearance already active
>sc is only acquired through a workplace that requires it
at least in yurop
am I getting it wrong? is this like the "you need 5 years experience for this entry level job" tier bullshit? how do I start with sc jobs

>>106492316
i got mine through my job here in germany but it took like 3 to 4 months

>>106492365
did you get it because you moved internally to another project?

>>106492369
no i switched companies

>>106492384
so the company first hired you and then got you the clearance? cause I only find places where they already want one. fuck me

>>106492221
Maybe I wasn't clear. A skeleton spinner. A cheeky spooky type.
Or make the site skeleton into the spinner.
I'm sure a super dev like you can do it.

>>106492395
when they sent me the contract they also send me some papers i had to fill out so that they could initiate the security clearance process
i didnt have it for the first couple months and wasnt put on sensitive things so yeah.. didnt expect security clearance to be such a big deal but maybe i should use it to apply for a better paying job

>>106483915
>Hey, ChatGPT, generate some serious-looking bullshit nobody's gonna read so that my manager gets off my back

>>106488292
The original Waterfall is actually what agilecucks think waterfall is, every two weeks. Look it up.

True Agile has never been tried yet

>get message from recruiter on wednesday about a remote position
>give her my phone number and my resume
>no calls
>no replies
Is she retarded?

>>106492781
True agile doesn't even make sense

Just found out that I only make $2 an hour more than the interns.

>>106493144
are the interns making anything? kek

>>106492164
>everything is getting worse
>sometimes I have to put on pants and go into the office for free catering and can't just coom/play while my mouse jiggler pretends I'm working

Since covid made wfh mainstream everything is on autopilot ez modo. Don't get why people are desperate for a happening. If it was bad people would not be complaining on social media

>>106492826
True Agile does not make sense in a corpo environment.

Realized I can't sell myself, neither on interviews nor on my CV itself.
I've seen many people get hired on my team who haven't touched computers and don't care about how they work, like literally no prior experience yet they laugh at my gap year and how I was unable to find a job.
Why? :(

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Just found out that I have 1500 more stock options than the founding engineer

>>106493453
what does that mean..

>>106493453
What's their strike price? What's yours?

>>106493294
You have to design the corpo environment around Agile.

>>106482629
>Oh right, that reminds me. Apparently the pregnancy odds of raw and condom sex are similar over the course of 1 year of use
Funfact: Women's immune systems kill sperm, her immune system will get used to your sperm eventually.
Especially if she orally ingests your load

>>106493474
His are $1, mine range from $1 to $1.44. So without doing the math, if we exercise somewhere between $2 and $3, I think his are worth more than mine. Higher than that, I think mine start to be worth more than his

>>106493425
just bee yourself

>>106493453
>stock
huh that's ne
>options
lmao

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>>106483915
I like writing documentation.

>>106493566
You might actually have him beat here on pure yield alone. Damn, they really don't value him or he fucked himself.

>>106493569
that hasn't worked out very well for me which sucks because it means I'm a fucking shit person

>have on-call rotations
>have formal ticket system
>retard PMs in other orgs constantly cc entire 350 person org asking for minor ticket details

>>106493636
>on-call
gay

>>106493653
it's not that bad. we have a dedicated team for fixing recurrent issues but when shit breaks in new ways its way too complicated for anyone but the designers to fix it in a reasonable time. some teams get fucked by things constantly breaking but mine is very stable so all I ever do on call is verify that my component didn't crash and then say "not my problem"

>>106493636
>have on-call rotations
Saar...

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>>106493615
He started out with more. I started with something like 2500 and got more as time went out. 1000 more, then 1500 more, then in March they doubled to 10,000 options. I think they do this when they don't have the cash for a bonus. Neither of us expect to be around for a liquidity event, nor do we expect a liquidity event to ever happen

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>>106493275
That's some top level delusion. I would not be surprised one bit if you happened to believe in shit like Q.

>>106493144
Are you and them both on 40 hour weeks, or are the interns on a part time salary where the per-hour doesn't matter?

>>106493784
>we can't pay you a bonus but instead you have the option to pay us more money
lmao

>>106493784
Sounds about right. Well, enjoy the monopoly options contracts. I love options but I wouldn't really want to get paid in them if I can't sell it back for the premium.

>>106493425
Gaps have always been cancer. I don't know why they're so looked down on, I swear you'd be looked at more favourably if you were in prison than NEET.

But we've reached peak wank.
We're gatekept by salesdick recruiters and hr cat ladies that wouldn't know the difference between a constant and variable
Managers that only care about increasing quarterly earnings to hit their bonus targets.
C-suite that will buy into any second-hand McKenzie bullshit fad fed to them
And CEOs that think they'll replace you with a glorified if-else tree.

>>106492781
I tried it. Business tried to force me to change it to scrum. I refused. I got laid off. Business just couldn't handle when I insisted that a task in-progress must stay in-progress until completed, and that they had to wait for a dev to be available before a new task was started.

IMHO True agile is Kanban done The Toyota Way.

>>106492748
don't have to look it up buddy boy, been there done that, and no Agile is not Waterfall.
True Waterfall, which is awesome, does not allow for any change in requirements until dev and testing are complete.

>>106493931
Oh, and I forgot the most important things: companies value the interview process more than they do your technical skills or personality.
Can't write a decent CV or keep it in the latest flavour of the month style? No interviews for you
Can't speak articulately or remember on the spot with an *example* case to answer some random 'competency' question, you're not going forward (and why the fuck they can't accept a generalised answer to a generalised question I'll never guess)

>>106491958
I's not based at all.
The HR harpies are gonna tell each other.
I will get black listed in HR and become the laughing stock.
The director will hear of this I am sure.
I am fucked.

The reason I panicked is because she called during my midday nap (I always nap when wfh) and then I thought if I become manager it will be hard to take naps, so I panicked and fumbled it.

Now they will think I am trolling them and not serious at all.
I am fucked.

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I think that relaxing during weekends is a psyop, to weed out the weak willed.
The best course of action is to work but secretly while pretending to have fun.

>>106494382
Wow.

>getting tons of recruiters in my inbox unsolicited
>They're actually from big companies and not jeet farms
Pretty cool

>>106494634
please saar, kindly to apply to the amazons.ru.com link I have applied

>>106489032
I'm not saying what my org is.
And don't worry about me, I'm used to eating alone.

I can't stand brand teams. Like picking a layout and color scheme is actually hard.

>>106494399
sex at this resolution

So my friend (who has a masters in machine learning and like 5 yoe) finally realized he should cash in on the AI bubble and has started interviewing at big tech. Amazon just offered him a package where he would make $600k usd/year (800k sign on stock, with estimated $150k stock refreshers each year over 4 years for a total of 1.4m stock alone over 4 years).

What the actual fuck. I’ve been working for 10+ years and was happy to barely crack $200k, and he is jumping right up to 3X that. I know I should be happy for him, but fuck me I can’t help but being envious.

>>106495344
He sounds like a massive poorfag. Maybe "your friend" should try getting a real job with real TC.

>>106495344
money isn't everything anon

>>106495344
I can't believe your friend who got a masters in AI was able to find the courage and gumption to switch fields to AI

>>106495425
He was already in AI, just at a small company that payed peanuts.

Steve Ballmer here, can you guys shut the fuck up? I'm trying to watch Basketball, here.

>>106495445
sorry steve

>>106495445
i have 3 words for you

seattle bros...
The air quality is so bad
how the fuck am I supposed to work like this?

>>106495504
come to albania bro
breathe in fresh air

>>106495520
how to get to albania?

>>106495520
post an image that convinces me to move to albania

>>106490071
>but other then that full remote in 3rd world
which country(ies), bro? i'm considering thailand or vietnam once i've saved up enough.

>>106495533
He doesn't need to. You can skip the idea of red light districts in his shit country and find any girl on the street willing to either fuck you or clean your house for 15$ usd.

>>106495533
Just read the book Broken April

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>>106495533

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>new indian engineer can not understand english nor spell it correctly
guess what race my director is

>>106495764
>i m p l u m e n t
>s i n c r o n i s e
>p i p e l i g n
>m a i n t a i n a n t s

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Hey i'm not a tech worker but I make too much and gets people seething.

>30 years old
>500k NW
>Was laid off but just got hired again $115K +10% bonus

I'm kind of sad I only got to be on NEET bucks for a week, how do I cope with this?

>>106496250
>lil bro thinks his 115k humblebrag hits hard here
We ALL make 400k+ as principal devs here on /g/
Lower your tone.

>>106496263
No I'm saying if I try to share with other peeps they bitch at me. you guys do make more than me but I just want to hit my FIRE number and gtfo.

>>106496283
ok, you gtfo and do what?

>>106496297
Not wage, cecome a Hermit like Ted, have a tea ceremony everyday.

so... friday night thread?

>>106492465
How long did it take to get the clearance? I'm still waiting for mine, and it's pissing me off.

I cope and tell myself that I really like my job but after clicking submit on a job application last night I actually felt euphoric at the idea of leaving everything behind and starting fresh.

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New Thread

>>106496430
>>106496430
>>106496430

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>>106496400
it depends