TJD

learn a trade

Skip told everyone to show up in office this week for holiday events and the fucking nigger took off for this week specifically
What a faggot

>only user story left during this sprint before christmas is some vague documentation task
>might as well grind that shit out in an all-nighter and slack off for the rest of the week

>2019
>Recruiters write me every single day, 2 or 3, they call me, many talk to me in first name basis, they know me well.

>2020
>Recruiters still call you to tell you personally you didnt make it through the process, but already have another gig lined up for you

>2021
>Recruiters start sending automatic replies when you fall off the interview process

>2022
>They offer you a gig once a month, and the next day after sending them your resume, they write you (automated) to tell you that due to volume of candidates, they couldn't present you

>2023
>They send you automated emails to keep their db automated with your data, even though they never called you

>2024
>Your inbox reads "0 unread emails" the whole week

did you all consider working in a different field?

>>107560061
Not really.

>>107559873
I dry walled a whole room in my house and have done tons of medium sized carpentry jobs to great success for myself and family, so I’m wondering if I could make decent money as a small job handyman.

I’d also be way more useful to the world than I am now coasting in adtech.

>>107560061
The other field is also filled with cotton so it's basically the same work.

>>107560302
The handyman space is filled with alcoholic flakes so you could build a reputation for yourself and do well. The problem comes when you get more work offers than you can do yourself and give in to the temptation of hiring an alcoholic flake to be an employee.

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>OH MY SCIENCE! IS THAT A STATIC LANGUAGE WITH A HINDLEY MILNER TYPE SYSTEM SO I CAN MASTURBATE TO TYPE THEORY INSTEAD OF SHIP SOFTWARE? OH EM GEE WOJETTE GET THE BULL HE HAS TO SEE THIS

I've got an insidious snake as a product owner. How to best get rid of her? She's external.

>>107560351
Get her pregnant

>>107560358
Not even remotely into her.

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I got this certificate from Splunks conference earlier this year. It is considered an intermediate level cert, but I still am unable to get any jobs from it.

>>107560365
You are in the wrong thread mate. This one is for the ones suffering from employment.

>>107560365
>splunk core certified power user
Humiliaiton ritual

>>107559935
>only user story left during this sprint
what are you doing with your life, man?

>>107560027
>we wuz in demand and shieeet

>>107560401
This. There’s always more work to be done, he needs to pull in more stories to demonstrate he can hustle and put out high performance metrics. Those Jira dashboards aren’t going to fill themselves!

>>107560325
Most operations just pass it around a group of trusted friends. OR they overcharge if its work that is a pain in the ass. Even then that work can put them under for a few months.

>>107560340
seek help

>>107560061
which ones allow me to 100% wfh?

>>107560376
I'm technically employed

>>107560401
i have to children under the age of 2 and the whole working from home + half-assed implementation of an agile framework is the best thing that could have happened to me when it comes to spending time with my children

>>107560365
Worth something to certain employers but i am sorry for your future loss in sanity. Rather do that than PMP.

>>107560363
No one said you have to commit.

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>>107560365
Job paid for it. Technically I got a discount for taking it at the conference $25 but my job paid the rest. In currently working on AWS so I'll see what I can do to combine Cybersecurity and cloud

>>107559686
recruiters are jeets

>>107560061
I studied a different field in university

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>>107560733
You'll make it anon. The rest of us might not however.

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what watch will you be wearing in your soulless corporale cubicle /twg/?

glassdoor is the worst website I've ever seen holy shit (aside from lemonparty)

YOU WILL GO TO THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY
YOU WILL BE MISERABLE
YOU WILL LAUGH AT MY JOKES

>>107560839
>cubicle
Uhm I think you mean flex office open space (desk personalisation is forbidden)

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>>107560839
I am a poor fag so i stick with this most of the time.
The rest of them are Casio shitters.
https://bertucciwatches.com/Bertucci/A4TSYIlluminated.html

>>107559686
I like recruiters. they seek a job for me for free (free as in "for me").

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Forced to work on Christmas and NY week break for regular pay

>>107561038
I have only worked holidays for the past 5 years.

There's an art to not being responsive. If you're too responsive, people will repeatedly come to you with any question they can think of.

>constant slack notifications about some customer staging deployments at 7:30pm
Reee stop redeploying at night or at least stop fucking it up, I can not be fucking arsed to be checking ansible configs right now
WFH is great until people have no sense of decent working hours

>>107560365
>I got a splunks cert from the splunks conference! I have intermediate certification in splunk! I'm disappointed my splunk certification isn't helping me find a job.
statements dreamed up by the utterly deranged

>>107560839
F-91W

>>107561038
How? I thought only grunt work wagies did this. Though over here all stores are closed on Christmas (except maybe fully paki-owned and paki-run ones that don't care) and even garbage collection is shifted over the holidays. What the fuck kind of job makes you come in on Christmas day and at the very worst doesn't give you the option to take PTO

>>107560839
you can only wish for a cubicle in 2025 AD

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>no clue which devices documented in the lab environment are active since they could just be VMs temporarily added for testing
>nmap scan the entire subnet from my work laptop
>curious about what ports are open on our development server since some specific services like grafana, prometheus, etc are accessible from outside it whilst others are only internal
>nmap intense port scan the server from my work laptop
>get an email from a Sr Developer concerned about this
>he CC'd the entire IT department
Thats kind of embarassing

>>107561578
anon running an intense nmap scan is like pointing a gun at someone

anyone have a problem with small talk at work? I don't know why it's been such a big issue for me lately.
I can talk about "work" pretty passionately but the moment it comes to I'm renovating my house it's just more of oh god please end soon because I don't know how to fast forward this shit. I wish more people kinda took the hint but people can go up to 10mins and it's just me saying uh huh, that's neat. oh i see it's like x. that must suck before going back to the work topic....

>>107561781
It's gotten so bad recently. It's not that I absolutely hate it for being "ugh fuck talking about work." but my brain has been going blank/brain fog as soon as someone makes small talk to me. I'm trying hard to catch myself and be like "oh right yeah that must suck." but most of the time I end up having one straying thought and now I'm 10mins in hearing about this guy talk about his kid sports game. Maybe it's ADHD? Maybe it's the fact I have to self-limit myself to avoid saying something that's a no no and that additional filter just tires me out? What the fuck is it.

I'm a 37 year old virgin. I live in an empty apartment. The only two objects in the apartment are a fan and a sheetless mattress on the floor. This morning I suddenly felt unwell and projectile vomited onto the floor next to my mattress. Instead of cleaning it up I just rolled back over. It's over isn't it.

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>>107561840
Here's your hat, sir.

>>107561469
I work at a university so they use it as an excuse to work on projects while students are not here.

>>107561875
Just take care of your body.

Am I making a mistake?
>Working a job at the moment that pays well, but I despise it
>Offer from a job that that would pay even more, but I would also dislike it
>I will refuse the new job offer while I search for something better

On one hand I just want to run as far and fast as possible from my job, and I dream about quitting it every day.
On other hand, I don't want to just jump in another job that I would hate.
I just want a job that doesn't make me actively think about ending it all on daily basis.

I have zero friends or people to talk to so I need your help /twg/.

>>107561938
US hire-and-fire based or EU with probation period? In the former case, switch now because you will be unhappy in eiher case. In the latter case, keep searching.

>>107561840
>now I'm 10mins in hearing about this guy talk about his kid sports game
I wouldn't blame yourself for being checked out. People with kids really need to understand that no one else gives a shit about them.

>>107561957
I think some small-talk is just part of the job because you can't work together with people you can't stand (for long anyway).

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I will not shitpost in work slack channels
>I will not shitpost in work slack channels
I will not shitpost in work slack channels
>I will not shitpost in work slack channels
I will not shitpost in work slack channels
>I will not shitpost in work slack channels

>>107561955
I'm located in Europe. I've been coasting in my current job for last 2 years while it has been mostly WFH.
Now they are switching to 3 days a week and I can't imagine myself not going insane by commuting 2 and 1/2 hours 3 times a week to a job that I dislike.

>>107562069
Wtf 2.5h three times a week?! Switch now! Even an in-office job that's 1h commute is better than this shit.

>>107561936
Working during the extended break is one thing but working on Christmas itself sounds insane

>>107562069
2.5h return or one way? The way you phrased spending 2.5h three times a week sounds like it'd be 2.5h per day, or 1h15 one way commute. Which is pretty bad (~1h is around the threshold for what I'd consider bad) but it's not catastrophic, if it's 2.5h one way then that's insane.

Do you think you can do your job well? Are you scared of the probation period? Is the other job WFH or will it also be office? Switching jobs can sometimes give you a "honeymoon period" where you're leaning the new stuff, everyone's less demanding of you because you're the new guy getting up to speed, and you haven't yet been around long enough to observe any subtle dysfunctionalities or get sucked into shitty politics or whatever.
The downside is that if you find a better job soon you'll end up hopping. But doing it once or so is not a huge deal.

>>107561957
It's not that I hate talking about people's kids but sometimes I'm booking a meeting to talk about X and getting sidelined to talk about Y instead just triggers my brain. Doesn't help that I have huge brainfog too.

>>107562133
2.5 hours to office and back/roundtrip.

This other job is offering me significant salary bump but they are somewhat avoiding in talking about exactly what my responsibilities would be, and if I can WFH after initial probation period is over.
I keep asking - ok, so let's say I join, exactly what I will be working on - and they just keep repeating - it depends.

>>107562206
You know you can still switch during your probation period, right?

>>107562237
They keep insisting that they are looking for people that stay for 4.5 years minimum. Their words.
Maybe I can tell to them - ok I join but I give no guarantees that I stay? Or is it too honest of an answer?

I just finished Dragon Quest while working from home. What are my thoughts?

>>107562264
Just lie. But mix your lie with some truths so you sound more genuine.

>>107562206
"What exactly will I be working on" can't always be answerable especially if it's a smaller company. But they should be able to at least tell you why they're hiring you. Keep an open mind in case they genuinely intend you to be a flexible polymath that can help across various projects - that's a valid answer (up to you whether you'd like that answer or not) - but they should be able to give you AN answer of some sort at least, when you ask what is the purpose of the role you're going to be filling.
Is it a startup, or a small company, or a large one?

>>107562264
Fuck no, you never say that. You also don't put any importance on what they're saying here, basically all it means is that they want a proper employee and not a contractor. Probably. It doesn't under any circumstances mean that they will avoid firing you if they don't like you for any reason for example.
In return, you can say you are also looking for a job where you can stay long-term - because you are (presumably you're not explicitly planning to job-hop as often as possible just because). Whether you think their place is the kind you would enjoy staying long-term you can leave entirely unsaid. And
>I give no guarantees that I stay
There are never guarantees that you stay, any more than there can be guarantees that they won't fire you. There is zero reason to say this. If you do still say it it basically sounds like "I don't like you and I'll be trying to leave ASAP if you hire me" which is going to make them very unhappy and way less likely to hire you.

>>107562270
Togashi-san, thank you for dabbing on them Huntertards.

WFH and on vacation for the rest of the year. 2025 is basically done for me

>>107562331
It's a small-medium company. (The new job offer).
I think the main thing for me right now is that I've yet to be given a concrete example of my expected responsibilities.
I'm already working a job that I dislike and I am looking for for something fulfilling, and I'm afraid of starting something new that I realize isn't for me.

>>107562600
I don't know the exact situation of course but I would very carefully probe about what their projects are, what the company is doing, what the team you'll be on is doing.
If it's a smaller sized company it's much more likely that there'll be a variety of responsibilities and individual teams will handle more stuff at once, so maybe if you're trying to ask (or coming off as asking) a rigid list of responsibilities upfront they might not be answering properly. But they should at least be able to answer why they're hiring you, and why does the team you'll be on exist in the first place.

Btw do you actually have an offer? If you do, it sounds like they want to hire you. You could for example ask to have a chat with someone from your future team. Basically interview them, if you're unhappy with the answers they're giving you.

>>107562392
Fucking based. A while ago I worked at a startup that gave everyone 30 days PTO per year because the founders had never ran a company before and wanted to sound super generous and whatnot (that was before the layoff crash and LLMs and shit, back in the boom market) and then come end of the year almost everyone had 20+ days left, and they didn't want to roll it over into the new year, so most people took almost the entirety of December off.

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Today for lunch at the Microsoft cafeteria I had the kung pao chicken and it was a lil too spicy for me

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Can I learn how to program

>>107562636
Yeah, I have an offer and they've given me up until tomorrow to decide. They've been rushing to get an answer from me.
The final interview was last Wednesday, Thursday I received offer, and I told them give me a week to consider it - they said, no time, accept my Tuesday or we will offer the job to someone else.
Which is weird. A bit.

>>107562932
Yeah it's a bit weird. I'd say again insist on talking to a guy from the team. Ask again for what the team is supposed to be doing and why your role exists. If you can talk to an actual guy working there definitely ask what they actually do, ask what the day to day is like, ask what their favourite thing about working there is and then ask the least favourite thing (it's best if there's no recruiter or manager on the call but if there is one then eh whatever).
Since they're rushing so hard you can insist on having that call tomorrow.

I'd say it's shady and I wouldn't accept without more details, especially if you're not particularly enthused about the work. If they really want you they'll wait, if they've got revolving door hiring then you might not want to work there anyway.

>>107562905
Maybe, what are you interested in programming

>>107562332
Are you a sagefag or a Warriorfag? Used to be a huge warriorfag but good lord sage might be my favorite girl now.

>>107563037
Synthesizers and music production plugins. The tech industry interests me because I’d like to work from home and my job sucks. I’m a mechanic and not particularly retarded.

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>>107563186
>Synthesizers and music production plugins
idk anything about music or music production, or how programming plays a role in it.
Hopefully another anon can give you solid advice

>>107563287
That really deserved an avatarfag

>>107563186
You can ask in >>>/g/dmp there might be some people there who develop plugins.

She's the most beautiful girl I have ever seen

Anyone have experience with "IT Solution/Consulting" companies? looking for a helpdesk job right now and a lot of these pop up. Not sure how I feel about working for a pure IT small business vs an IT department at a medium sized business

>>107563302
>That really deserved an avatarfag
But it must have deserved a (You), thanks I guess but dont ping me on teams while im gooning
im surprised the first reply wasnt that schizo screaming "furfaggot"

>>107563318
Sage or Warrior?

>>107563335
>Anyone have experience with "IT Solution/Consulting" companies?
its a pain in the dick if you have to install and use 5+ different VPNs to be compatible with clients' security policies

>>107563348
>>>/pol/523641632

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I spend a lot of time doing absolutely nothing at my job. Should I ask to just take a half-day to play with the "desk" "flight" simulator that no one uses to self-teach how underwater warfare works? And if I do, can I add it to my resume?

>>107560839
I use a shitty casio digital whose strap broke off as a pocket watch

>>107563186
please contribute to SunVox

>>107563407
>flight
>underwater
Not only are you fucking retarded but what does this have to do with tech

Wait is it christmas vacation already for schools? No wonder this site has been 20x shittier this month.

I've got a final interview with a fortune 500 company tomorrow. It's only scheduled for 30 minutes so am I wrong in assuming that it's mainly going to be a culture fit screening? I'm still reviewing some technical stuff but with that time limit I can't imagine covering too many situations.

>>107563450
no, my old guy coworker complained about his kids having to go to school despite our abysmal hours just today

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>>107563451
my single(one(1)) interview at a defence contractor took less than an hour so who fucking knows, maybe they'll ask you some softball tech dustman questions and hire you nearly on the spot

>>107563468
God I hope so.

>>107563496
Just don't worry, buddy. I think that's the one thing that was different in that interview; I was already over it all and was honest about my failures as much as my strengths. Be honest, even in your endless sin.

Well, within limits. Don't actively dissuade them or anything. Just be reasonable. Don't be normal, but be natural. For all you know, it could be a very desperate small team looking to take on the first non-retard they find, or it could be a crew of degenerates who will like you more than they dislike your not being a unicorn.

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>>107562270
draw the bat from the sand in the park and seek your destiny

>>107563451
You really should ask that question to your recruiter or point of contact. In a smaller company without a dedicated recruiter you should have asked that at the end of your last interview, or basically whoever told you you'd have a 30 minute interview is the person to also ask what the interview is going to be about. There's no reason you should be sitting here trying to guess, blindly assuming, asking other anons and stressing about what it is.

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>>107563623
You should be able to adapt to it being a vibe check or technical skill gate on the spot, imo. I'm not even actively trying to be mean, here; such a thing happens every day, and really, every interview is both. Even with the vibe-checking HR roastie, you should be trying to show your worth to the company, and in a technical interview, they want to see someone who can solve problems and only be autistic in the right ways.

They could give you complete information, but no battle plan even survives allies, let alone the enemy. It sounds like "just be yourself" and it really is; but be your deranged, sinful, awful, educated, experienced, curious self, laid bare, so that they can see that you are of value, however small.

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Don't let anyone or anything stress you out. Stressing you out is your own job.

>>107563657
>every interview is both
I don't disagree, to a point, but they're also generally structured very differently. It can help to be mentally prepared on whether you'll have to do live coding or not for example. Anyway if that anon was 100% happy to do whichever one on the spot he wouldn't have been asking this question here - my point is that if you're going to ask random anons here, just fucking ask your hiring contact to get the actual answer rather than trying to guess.

>vibe-checking HR roastie
Does that even happen for a final interview? In my experience HR is the screening interview. The final "culture fit" interview for me has invariably been with senior managers, in startups that'll be the CEO, in a larger company it's going to be the hiring manager for example.

>>107563681
giwtwm

>>107563682
>my point is that if you're going to ask random anons here, just fucking ask your hiring contact to get the actual answer rather than trying to guess.
Intel does generally help, but again, it's very easy to over-prepare.

>Does that even happen for a final interview?
In my experience it's usually the first ones, honestly; but it can happen at any time. Shit, when I joined my company, I had a vibe check in the first month. Straight up "Talk to your recruiter about things (and transparently see if you should be fired before we spend too much money trying to get you a clearance)"

>>107563713
Vibe check after joining is normal, to see how you're getting on, if you're fitting in, how quickly you're starting to be productive etc.
I'm surprised it was with a recruiter though, again normally that's something you have with a manager. Wtf did you even talk about with the recruiter if you were already working there for a month

I've always thought of testing as something boring, looked down on testers and refused to ever work as a tester assuming it's a career dead end, but now I'm kinda wondering: Is this wrong?
When you're making tests chances are you won't actually have to interact with too much spaghetti code. So it's a relatively easy job.

>>107563682
>The final "culture fit" interview for me has invariably been with senior managers
This final interview is with a senior manager.
As for "culture fit", does that mean I need to memorize some STAR stories? I've never made it this far with a company of this scale before. I'm not stressed weirdly enough but I do understand the gravity of the situation and would really like to succeed, whatever that looks like.

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>>107563740
>I'm surprised it was with a recruiter though,
it was an internal recruiter and while I haven't had much further contact with her, she appears to just be the HR person for our larger group of projects

my actual single point above us all in the org chart manager did also do a "QUICK CALL???? (in two or three days, here is the outlook invite card)" thing but that was really explicitly "Are you having fun? Are you getting paid on time? Have you heard back about paperwork I'm not signing? All's well? Sounds great, see ya later". Even in that meeting I was straight up like "I'm not productive yet, I don't even know where the real office is. I've been reading a flight manual for a month, I'm not a pilot, I only know some of these words." and he was like "Yeah, that could take up to six months to even get on site and yes, you are not a pilot. Don't worry about it."

the HR one seemed to be more hostile, but not actively hostile, if that makes any sense. less "Are you fitting in?" and more "did you do the fucking paperwork yet get yourself off of my todo list you fuck"

>>107563785
there's writing tests and then there's being A Tester. manual testing is rarer now but is still a thing and is a min wage mcjob

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I worry that my experience is getting more and more specific and I will be pigeonholed into "retarded legacy system bullshit" for low pay and terrible hours until I die

>>107563817
Honestly I'm not sure, in my limited experience STAR stuff is mostly for behavioural interviews moreso than culture ones. I've mostly interviewed at startups though, only a few times at larger companies. My "culture fit interview" experience mostly boils down to stuff like, how do I feel about the commute, or how do I approach WFH, how do I communicate during WFH (the bulk of my interviews have been for WFH and decent companies will always spend some time sussing out how you generally approach coordination and teamwork in a setting where you literally never meet your team members), shit like that. It's usually a short interview but they still give you a slot to ask your own questions, so you can ask shit like what a typical workday is like or whatever (assuming you haven't already). Basically they're trying to figure out if you'll be pleasant to work with, can be coordinated with in a team and won't be a sperg that can't be reasoned with. And you're trying to figure out if the team you'll be on is a functional team, if they're competent people and competently managed, not bogged down in shitty politics, not bogged down in shitty processes or bullshit, etc.

But again I don't have that much experience with large companies. Last time I interviewed with one they basically said "yeah we'll hire you" even before the final interview and it was more like a chitchat call to meet my manager in person and talk about what his specific team does and double-check whether I'm interested in that work etc.

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>>107563817
>does that mean I need to memorize some STAR stories?
STAR is a meme for autists and boring people. Surely you have some fun stories in general, and know how to tell a fun story. You did a thing, and something else came of that, right?

STAR is literally just story-writing for retards. You were in a place and time, there was some issue or something to do, you did something, and then the story ends in a good way.

>I was on "force protection" at my old job, so I was standing around with a rifle and had to respond to a boat getting a little too close for comfort, so I waved at him and told him to fuck off despite yelling in french and him being spanish, and then he fucked off because the words kinda line up.
It's literally that easy.

>>107563785
If you're writing and developing tests, it can be a decent job if the company itself is interesting. Usually an alright testing job will involve creating your own testing frameworks and tools for the company, stress testing or load testing large systems, coming up with ways to repeatably test complex end-to-end integrated systems, etc. It's not that bad when you're basically responsible (or sharing responsibility) for the reliability of a large-scale system and basically the guy writing the tools that tell every other developer whether their shit works or not.

But if you're coming into a legacy or dysfunctional company and are supposed to add testing from scratch, or something, it's probably way more annoying than if you get to work on in-depth and comprehensive tools on a modern and decent-ish codebase. There's tons of testing work that's completely thankless and if you're setting up basic unit and integration tests from scratch and not doing anything particularly interesting then it sounds very mediocre.
And like the other anon said, if you're a tester, rather than a testing/reliability engineer, then yeah it's an absolute dead end and mind-numbing monkey job.

>>107563911
Aside from "what does a typical workday look like", can you recommend some questions for them? It's a security position so any time I ask about anything remotely related to daily activities they stonewall me. I've asked how turnover is handled but that just feels like such a softball question.
I'll think of some regardless but I was wondering if you had any suggestions or something.

>>107563950
You'd be surprised at how many retards tell really shit stories that are irrelevant for an interview. STAR helps you focus on the things that are actually relevant to the manager listening to you.

I haven't conducted but I have listened to tons of interviews where the guy just goes off the rails. Things like spending 5 minutes setting up context rather than quickly setting the scene and focusing on what you did. Or describing what the team did rather than what YOU did. Or getting bogged down in technical details. Or telling a story that's mildly interesting but not actually making the outcome clear at all, or not highlighting why your contribution was important and positive.

Interviewing is a sales activity, not sharing stories over a beer with friends.
Thankfully vapid behavioural and STAR shit is not super common in most tech hiring.

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>>107563973
>STAR helps you focus on the things that are actually relevant to the manager listening to you.
again, it's story-telling for people bad at telling stories. same as the story action triangle thing they used to teach in english classes. or basic essay writing. you establish context, make your statements, then a conclusion. even my retarded schizo posting mostly follows it naturally

>[S]ituation:
it was an internal recruiter and while I haven't had much further contact with her, she appears to just be the HR person for our larger group of projects
>[T]ask:
my actual single point above us all in the org chart manager did also do a "QUICK CALL???? (in two or three days, here is the outlook invite card)" thing
>[A]ction:
Even in that meeting I was straight up like "I'm not productive yet, I don't even know where the real office is. I've been reading a flight manual for a month, I'm not a pilot, I only know some of these words."
>[R]esolution:
he was like "Yeah, that could take up to six months to even get on site and yes, you are not a pilot. Don't worry about it."

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>>107563971
What's the dress code
WFH policy, if any
Company culture outside of core job duties (are there events, do people hang out out of work, etc)
Is there charity/RRSP/investment matching
Where are your other offices/fab sites/etc and will I have to go to any of them
"Tell me about [retardo niche product]"
Do you issue me a laptop or is "my" computer t chained to my desk
Do I get a permanent desk or is it hot bunking
Are there any special tools or other gear I need to or even just might want to get (hard toe shoes, high-vis vest, my own testing equipment, bringing my own screwdriver set, maybe even a Contigo cup if you don't have spare mugs in the break room)
What's your number
Where are my legs
Why are you locked in the bathroom
How do you stand before the power of a God

>>107564025
Ty based anon.

>>107563971
What are their daily processes/how do they handle agile (standups etc, spring length, extra meetings like retros etc...)? If it's WFH, what's the communication style in terms of having quick calls vs. handling everything over text? For both WFH and not, how frequent are meetings? For remote and especially international: how are timezones handled, how often do people hang around outside of their own hours?
How is the team organised and where does it slot into the general organisation of the company, just to get general context? How is work usually assigned and divvied up - e.g. how detailed are the tasks, there's a large spectrum here that can range from pre-specced rigid user stories to "yeah we need to improve area X, can you work on that now" that varies between companies (I expect a larger/non-startup company will be on the more rigid end though)? What are the advancement opportunities - especially in a non-startup, what's the promotion schedule, what are the typical pre-requisites?

A good time to ask questions about technologies and opportunities, e.g. if you're being hired on the team using language X but you're also interested in language Y you could express that or ask about opportunities, or backend vs. frontend focus etc., but this is entirely company dependent and sometimes there's just nothing to ask here.

Also a good time to ask any and all admin questions you still don't have an answer to, like holiday allowances or conventions, whether the company has stuff like social days or company sponsored days out, for remote companies whether there's meetups/retreats etc.

You may already know some or most of this stuff, but this last interview is basically the last opportunity you have to build a clear picture in your head of what working there will be like. Imagine yourself working, and if there's any details that you don't know and feel like would be helpful to know to make your imaginations more accurate then it might be a good question to ask.

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>>107564067
unironically where i currently have a job iirc my main questions that weren't so Domain Specific were
>do i have to bring my own tools
>what are the real hours be honest with me nigga
>are the hours at all flexible cuz i dont drive bro
>is there a uniform because i don't own a suit
>How do you stand before the power of a God

but even more importantly

>why does this opening exist
>will it interfere with the job I already have
>why the fuck did the listing include "Windows XP experience"

they lied right to my face about everything that wasn't important btw, they told me straight up the previous guy quit to make more money, i am allowed to have another job, and they genuinely run a lot of winxp shit. all of these things have shaken out to be true. but hte hours suck and i've been chirped for being late despite being a busrider to a place where the first bus arrives once i'm already late.

>>107564127
on the other hand they have like 90 toolboxes so stocked they dont even know what they have and it gives me inspiration for my new shopping sprees. abentee manager also gave me free branded clothing they dont expect me to wear (and no one but me does(it was free dont hate on me cuz im beautiful nigga maybe if you got rid of that yee yee ass haircut)) and no one on the team can stand before the power of a god (the supply department and Actual COOOOOOOOOOOders)

>>107564006
Your story is fucking useless in an interview, it's just an anecdote that doesn't demonstrate anything. Yeah you can shoehorn it into the acronym of STAR but that's not what it's supposed to mean. You don't memorize STAR just to memorize four words, it's got an actual method behind it. For example "Result" has to be something you achieved, something positive you provided, which demonstrates that you were the right person for the job there or that you were able to handle the situation in an impressive way and is basically the conclusion you tell the recruiter or interviewer that says "yeah, and I could do the same kind of stuff here, that's why you should hire me". It's the punchline to your sales pitch. What your manager said is not a "Result" you'd use in STAR, not in general, especially not when it's seemingly unrelated to anything you achieved in the first place.

If you think STAR is just an essay structure (setup, action, conclusion, bam a story!) then you're not actually using STAR. It's supposed to be a sales pitch structure, and its purpose is precisely to avoid telling random anecdotes with no clear point and instead focus on telling shit that actually highlights why you're the right candidate for the company to hire asap.

>inb4 that's soulless and you should bee urself :))
Unfortunately human psychology means that if you put effort into actually providing compelling arguments for why you should be hired, in general you're much more likely to be hired than if you just spend the time chit-chatting.
Of course you should also come across as personable, human and relatable, not as an autistic automaton reciting sales pitches. But that's the mark of a good salesman anywhere. A good used car salesman won't just spout out factoids about the car at you, he'll build rapport and make you think he's a swell and trustworthy guy, but he'll also channel that rapport into convincing you that you should buy the car rather than simply shooting the shit.

>>107564127
>>107564161
Anon do you even work in tech, wtf is your job where you had to ask whether you need to bring your own tools or whether you'd need hard toe shoes

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>>107564171
>Your story is fucking useless in an interview
it was just an example using an actual post in this very thread. usually it's something about having some task to mangle plaintext, booting up the powershell ise, writing some stuff, and only barely not failing. in fact, that is my go-to. essentially

>[S]ituation
my job as an informally-called "Battle Secretary" is to prepare a file of messages for the wardroom. We download "strategic" messages from a variety of sources, but mostly just Outlook. Sometimes radio teletype or other means, but the end result was always human-intelligible plaintext.
>[T]ask
So I would have to vet those messages for applicability, and strip header information that isn't useful to them. This would take a long time. Manual processes, y'know.
>[A]ction
I at first wrote a COM script with For /L abuse, then later a powershell script, to do that automatically.
>[R]esolution
I slept a lot on watch, because I would essentially download all the messages, run my script, then a half-hour before turnover, run it again, and hand-clean any failures. I was finding new and exciting edge cases up until the last day of my last deployment and covered most of them that didn't have to do with character encoding issues. So the middle of my watch, if nothing was happening, would only be interrupted by TG Tactical, a voice circuit.

>>107564195
Normally I don't ask about boots but this particular one is on an airbase.

>>107564231
Note that this even gives the interviewer strings to pull, on top of satisfying the STAR meme
>Messages? So he knows how to actually read?
>He wrote a script based on a specific use case? Could he be half-decent in project management?
>COM? Powershell? Is this nigga working in the fabled Desert Situation?
>wtf is TG Tactical? Sounds cool and not like the most mundane thing ever

>>107564231
Not bad but in most decent tech jobs you'd have been expected to optimise the thing and then move on to other tasks in the endless backlog and "so I slept for half the day because I automated my task" would not mark you as a desireable candidate. I'm not disputing that there are jobs and cultures where this kind of honesty is appreciated but this is rarely the culture in programming jobs.
Though of course "I had to do manual data entry and wrote a script to automate it" is not super relevant to programming in the first place, but this is still /twg/ where most anons are going to be looking for relatively standard tech/programming jobs.

Also once you realised there were lots of edge cases you don't demonstrate any proactivity in trying to get them fixed more efficiently, such as by setting up test suites, maybe fuzz testing, maybe reviewing your script architecture and initial assumptions and rewriting the logic to be more robust overall or whatever. Again, not that it was necessarily in your job description, but "result: so I spent months working to fix the edge cases in my cobbled together scripts" is not a flattering conclusion to articulate.

I suspect again we're probably just working in different areas, I'm a pure codemonkey while you're doing a variety of tech-related stuff. But again I am fairly certain the majority of anons itt are probably looking for programming jobs and not "battle secretary" jobs so your experience does not apply universally to people looking for interview advice in here

>>107564231
fuck it I'm cooming to lugia tonight

it dont matter. none of this matters.

>>107564321
>"so I slept for half the day because I automated my task"
Okay, I admit I added that to the post as a flex. I don't say that in interviews. I just say that it saved a lot of time for other tasks, without saying that I didn't have many other tasks.

>Though of course "I had to do manual data entry and wrote a script to automate it" is not super relevant to programming in the first place,
Let's be real: most people here are leetcoders. If I wanted to say "I'm so great at programming!" I'd be infinitely more cringe and say how I wrote avionics suites in gmod as a child or something. But still, even then, STAR is a meme and easy to achieve
>S - I was playing an engineering game, but with real-life engineers, though being a child. This particular game, at the time, had maps topping out at about 4km to a side and 4 to 8 km in altitude.
>T - I made a plane in a somewhat realistic video game, and had to enter into dogfights without easy to use missiles. Gunfighting was preferred, but missiles could be effective if constructed and programmed well.
>A - I made a plane, and in addition to conventional ailerons, put frontal canards on it to achieve a higher possible angle-of-attack at low speeds for better gunfighting, and wrote my own basic chase method for the avionics of the missiles, which had onboard computers.
>R - I won at least one dogfight, and got virtual headpats from some guy who claimed to be working at Lockheed at the time for at least making a Not-Rafale instead of a Not-F22.
>Caveat - I am not a pilot, nor an aviation engineer, I am applying to put the server in the rack

>Also once you realised there were lots of edge cases you don't demonstrate any proactivity in trying to get them fixed more efficiently, such as by setting up test suites,
very fair but I also don't aim very high. I currently make 60k a year to start and stop services at a non-flying aircraft simulator and am happy with that.

>>107564371
also very fair.

>>107564025
picrel is me yet im unemployed

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You want money? You want fame? You'll have to outdo our Aces.

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Wait, well, actually, I did try pretty hard to solve all those edge cases with the message mangling script. I was just finding new edge cases all the time. I never did solve the character encoding issue, and I'm not sure if it even was that (sometimes header information just wouldn't be touched at all or would return nonsense) but for the most part, most edge cases were just overly long addressing information, or human-intelligible formatting errors (date-time groups with typos that are too long or too short, from or to fields appearing more than once, different countries using different phrases for page separation(page separation was also human-intelligible and never aligned right!), etc. these things are mostly written on 90s or earlier machines meant literally for teletype boxes, after all)

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Should I finally ask to just have a day "off" in the office to play with the sim? It wouldn't add any understanding, but I've already had one "incident" of hearing that someone can't launch a torpedo from hover and thinking "Wait, while I was slacking off, I did that." I don't know if the torpedo hit anything, but it certainly was a fake weapon falling off a fake rack in a fake environment and nothing real crashed, hung, or refused a command.

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Actually, I'm a rookie where I work now for a real job, and at the working rank in my part-time gig; I think I'm a bad vassal and a bad leader. There's online courses about leadership at every job you can do, but they always suck and say nothing. To be a rookie, I don't not care, but stuff comes with time and I'm self-motivated on that. But what is the real shit on how to lead well?

>>107559878
Sounds like my old boss. Peter Principal at play. Just say you're sick

>>107561957
In my last job, the fuckin senior guy to me was like "Ugh kids topic, I'm gonna bail out of this one"...

In a room where everyone literally had kids.

Some people are retarded to not play along. It's ok to hate kids but goddamn keep that shit to yourself. Dude lasted a month.

Fucking retard left me to do all his work too. I hated that asshole though, dude was all talk and didn't do shit.

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Is anyone else a LinkedIn achievement hunter? Meaning that you try to get as many badges as possible? Anyone know of free ones?

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>>107564736
Some people aren't massive faggots and choose to continue the species. Why they bother with such a vile, disgusting act is beyond me, but why I continue with other vile, disgusting acts is beyond them. Don't hate; appreciate.

What the fuck is up with this guy

>>107564916
You retard. Do you realize what you just said? By your logic, if you don't have kids, you will die alone, and do nothing to contribute to the continuation of the human race

What's funny is I agree. If you're truly the type of faggot that looks at families in disgust, I can only imagine your Mom and Dad's utter disappointment when you couldn't even continue the gift of life

That being said, again, keep that shit to yourself. It was absolutely painful having to cover for his stupid comments when that stupid asshole should have just played along and shifted the conversation like I used to when I didn't have a kid.

It made him look like a complete tool, and again, he got fired anyway so he was a utter useless faggot anyway.

For anyone playing along at home, read the room Do NOT repeat what my dumbass coworker did. Stupid faggot is still unemployed to this day.

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>>107564231
hey, i get called "furfaggot" a lot but, i am sort of new to /g/, probably only been here a month and a half or so, if that... what do you normally do when you get called "furfaggot" and the anon is calling others "furfaggot" is clearly referring at least 3 individuals but referencing them all like the same person when thats not the case; what do you normally do?

They have told me im "stolen valor" (whilst ive also been in the military) and also claimed i cant get an A+ cert whilst i never tried. Are you supposed to just not reply when they give you a (You)?

>>107565195
if you're bored you can play into their schizo delusions and rile them up, otherwise just ignore them.

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>>107565195
enjoy your stay

>>107558303
good news anon
https://techforce.gov/

>>107565225
i dont want to hurt the schizo. I saw someone using my same anime reaction pics to do just as you described and it made me feel bad because it was like they were using pictures i posted to torment them.
The least they could have done was chosen their own reaction pics and just become another interpretation of "furfaggot"
>>107565257
idk what this means, i dont see any relevance

>>107565124
>do nothing to contribute to the continuation of the human race
I'm not that anon, didn't even read their post, but in 2025 this is the dumbest possible thing to care about. "The human race" is not you, your friends, your family, your progeny. It's people that don't give a shit about you and cut you off in traffic and carry knives in the bar fantasizing about how they're legally going to stab you. Unless you're Amish or in another tight-knit religious community (that actually enforces punishment for moral crimes or crimes of sloth), caring about the human race is entirely to your detriment. Society will continue on with or without you.

>>107565287
Either way, I know I will live forever through my bloodline via my kids so I don't care for that loner mentality.

>>107565270
I applied but I doubt I'll ever hear back.

>>107565195
fuck off furfaggot
we're full

>>107560061
EE here. I considered residential electrician for a long while.

>>107565322
Hate to break it to you, but your beloved ancestral bloodline lives in **every other person** just as much as it lives in you. And if you play by society's rules to raise a family you're pretty gay honestly lol, I'm sure your great great grandpa would think so too.

Teso

>>107565195
>See retarded nigger spam from a furry
>Defend the furry every single chance you get
Yes you are the furfaggot and a liar. How would anyone go out of their way to defend someone who spams 100+ nonsense posts a day about their insecurities for a job that has nothing to do with IT/Programming in the slightest.

>Trump makes h1bs too expensive to apply for
>Company goes on a hiring freeze
>Suddenly we're hiring tons of contractors
>They're all Indian
>They're all in Canada
Yeah I guess it's nice they won't all live here and I feel bad for the Canadians but maybe you fucking leafs could do something about the poo too?

>>107560061
What other field pays socially awkward autists high six figures to do what we would have done for free?

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goodnight /twg/

>>107560881
lemon party is better

>>107560061
I was raised as a shepherd during childhood. I did tech because it is fun. If I am ever unemployed and can't find work I will move back to the mountains and be a shepherd again.

How's Jane Street? Someone there tried to scout me

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>Not enough money in the markets
>China is dumping the price and cost of diamonds
>Chineses are starting to sell gold
>Russian government is offloading half of its gold reserves for cash
>Oil prices are dumping for alot of reasons but one reason is due to multiple failing economies
Yep everything is fine

>>107559686
This OP hits so hard. God damn it they're nothing but awful and scummy. The amount of wage they extract from you is insane.

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has getting a job helped any of u graduate from incel status?

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how do I tell if I’m a sociopath or if I’m just based
Is sociopathy even real?

After being a software engineer since 2007 I'm quitting the industry this year. Got a gig as a coordinator for a plumbing company. Pay is worse but not much worse (honestly other careers are booming in salary)

Never returning. I hate technology and have for a while now. I hate other engineers. I hate the bullshit meetings. I hate the pm justifying their existence. I hate the quarterly reports and audits. I hate frameworks and stacks just getting more and more retarded. I hate the interview process that was completely unrelated to real world skills or what you end up doing.

The only thing I'll miss is WFH

>>107566524
>has getting a job helped any of u graduate from incel status?
Sort of. Working forced me to interact with real people. That really sucked. Then I met my first girlfriend. That sucked even more. Luckily weeb culture got more popular, so I got to date other socially awkward weebs. That was a lot more fun.

Seriously join your anime clubs people. If you think Anime is only for awkward losers you're gonna be real disapointed when you look in the mirror.

>>107566849

i feel the industry went to shit circa 2015
up until them it was good, full of turbo autists
now its so many normies

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>see gorgeous babe on LinkedIn that lives in my area
>find her ig
>slide into her DMs
I did this enough that both algos of li and ig are recommending me educated babes. God bless the future. Obviously I had zero success so far but I'm getting messaged back by higher quality women than whatever I can pull in dating apps.

>>107564171

I learned this the hard way. STAR method is bullshit. Tell a story.

Also, I wanna ask, if people grill you on super specific questions, you answer them, they say you are wrong, and you open the code editor and quickly give them an example and they go like “oh but this is what you meant and yeah, you’re right”, and then they ask at the end if “are you okay with pressure? How do you handle that?” in a technical interview, is it a red flag?

I don’t know if I like the guy or not, am thinking of rejecting the offer, but I liked the behavioral interview, its just the “tech manager” dude felt like an ass.

>>107566923
Certain managers love digging into random questions. I had a technical interview last 90 minutes. Most people fail if their interview ends in 20 mins since they failed to handle easy questions. It all varies wildly. Amazon for example is 3 seprate interviews that total 5 hours. Not including the are you some bot application or are you alive questions for the first one.

Anything you put on your resume will be grilled on so be wary of putting less knowledgeable stuff on there.

>>107566524
It's probably the only reason honestly.

STOP OPENING JIRAS AT THE END OF THE FUCKING YEAR WHEN I'M TRYING TO CLEAR EVERYTHING OUT BEFORE CHRISTMAS YOU GOD DAMN FAGGOTS AAAAAAAAAAAA

>>107566524
no

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>>107566524
Its over anon.

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>call in sick
>when im actually not
devilish

>>107567167
why the fuck do people care about "finishing up before christmas"
if i have stuff left open i will continue working on it after the vacation

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>>107560839
People in Cubicles had no idea how good they had it...

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>>107567254
Because nobody can touch you then. It's all finished you're on vacation. You must be from Europe or something were employers don't touch you on holidays. If something is open and some ahmed or pajeet or chink any of the other numerous minorities including white autistic retards that wanna impress the boss while working over Christmas because they don't have a family that don't give a fuck if it's Christmas decides to touch code that has relationship to your code they or the boss might contact you for something.

I DO NOT WANT THAT. FUCK OFF. I HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE THE JOB.

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>>107567323
>You must be from Europe or something were employers don't touch you on holidays.
Feels good.

>>107567618
No it's terrible here in Europe, nobody should come here!!!!!
(you dumb fuck, shut up)

>>107567618
I would unironically take lower pay for european style vacation time, health benefits, and general laziness. It's like one step above communism.

>>107567679
Can't you just buy 50 days off?

>>107567696
not american but afaik you get fired or at least laid off at the first opportunity if you do that kinda shit. though that does kinda solve the problem of having too much work

i dont know if american management is psychotic enough to fire you if you announce you are turning off your work phone and work PC for the holidays and thus do not answer to any calls. probably

>>107567096

Idk felt all the wrong vibes. I’m thinking of rejecting it, but I hate my current job (even if it pays really well).

>>107566524
I make above 200k/y and I never leave my basement

I never met anyone that got fired during holidays

>>107566923
>>107567946
i wouldn't worry about it unless you specifically get a narcissist vibe from them. even dickheads can easily be worked with if they're not obsessed with protecting their own image. some of my favorite senior devs were the ones that loudly criticized shit code, because they would also loudly defend my code if it was good (lol)

however i've had enough awful seniors/managers that now every single 1-on-1 and interview feels like the bateman talking to willem dafoe scene from american psycho, where i can't tell if they like me and trust me, or if they hate me and are just fucking with me. i assume its 99% in my head

that said i think it's good to trust with your gut if you know your gut instincts are usually correct. if you were a good interviewee you would've asked questions to get a better bead on what kind of guy he was. i've noticed that some people sound very hostile until you ask them a question that makes them loosen up, and then it turns out they have a nice vibe and were just nervous, stressed out or locked in

>>107566923
Is the tech manager dude going to be your manager?

>are you okay with pressure?
Grill them about work-life balance, typical working hours, maybe even ask how deadlines are usually handled. If you really wanna be sure ask to speak with a team member and ask them these questions. "Are you okay with pressure" could mean "we're dysfuntional and crunching everything last-minute" but it could also just be completely innocent and mean "we're looking for a senior guy who is capable of handling himself if a tight deadline comes up or something major goes wrong, in case it ever happens at some point".

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>>107567946
I don't particularly care how bad they are on a whole. But if feels bad then you need to chuck another 30-50k into that offer letter to see if they are desperate. If working there sucks then they should pay for it.

>>107568020

I’ve got bits of narcissist vibe, im not sure if he was a bit racist to be honest (chinese manager and a chinese dev helping him). It felt they wanted to just fuck with me because they had a preferred candidate and I kinda made them think twice.

>>107568032

Yes, I asked those in behavioral interview, seems frantic pace but they seem to be working on a story counting system and are flexible around deadlines. Behavioral interview went fine with the PM, but tech one with the direct manager went like weird.

It doesn’t help Google has been sorta scouting me on the side, I thought I didn’t make it because they rejected me and then now they come again wanting to team match me (received the email today). Interviewed for L5 for them, wasn’t quite there but they think I’m okay for L4.

>>107568077

I’m gonna be making around 40k less by moving with them, but I really hate my job because I was handed an impossible project to lead and turn around (was basically made in a rush by an outsourced company and now they hired us inhouse to fix it).