>>28350800
The past and present don't exist, so focus on what we can do now.

I hate to be that person but what purpose does reinforcing being depressed do?
You're alive. You didn't kill yourself over Christmas or New Years night which is where most people kill themselves and I've wanted to do the same, especially around those times before.

So everyone who reads this, has some draw to live. So why? Why not choose to be happy. The worst thing that it can do, is you'll kill yourself except even the depression hasn't done that, so what's the odds that being happy does that?

Being happy is to be yourself. Be yourself anons. <3

>>28350872
>I hate to be that person but what purpose does reinforcing being depressed do?
Sometimes you just are my dude. And you need to vent it a bit to free yourself. From your comment (assuming it's not pasta) I see you're extremely young? Never had any troubles in your life, took part in war, saw your home burnt to the ground? Some people are not that lucky.

>>28350872
They like moping around like bitches because fixing their problems is hard. >>28350955 this retarded faggot compared being a whiny, lonely bitch to watching your family get napalmed in an air strike, >>28350808 this autist posted a video where someone does a bunch of fun shit with a woman instead of doing the fun shit for himself, >>28350942 and this faggot posted a video where some guy cries to a woman, who fucked a guy who looks exactly like him, about how he can't get laid.

>>28350941
>>28350942
Worst part? these guys are not even remotely bad in any sense

>>28351076
and I thought 2000s children were dumb

>>28351087
I forgot you had to post at least three images, so I probably mentioned three of your posts and you're just that much of a pathetic faggot

>>28350942
When you ask that one friend, "what' up!".
He answers, "Oh! It' nothing"
"Come on! Tell me what's wrong" you add.
Then this nigga goes on and on and on and never shuts up.

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Great thread guys can't wait to see the same 50 webms posted here before someone posts something new

>>28351196
When that one friend asks you "What's up!"
You answer "Oh! It's nothing"
"Come on! Tell me what's wrong" he adds
Then when you actually answer this so called friend clearly isn't listening and never pays attention

>>28350942
I thought this was Life is Strange music.

>>28350955
I'm mid 20s but yes I had troubles growing up, I failed to kill myself twice over it.
I get venting, I don't get a thread titled "depressing year edition". Or I do get it, I just don't think my exact opinions on it belongs in such a thread.

Truth be told, being depressed is seen as a personality trait and becomes peoples entire being. When they think of themselves, they're the depressed person. I met a bunch of people like that and it's not a coincidence they'd all post shit like this on tumblr, that they'd use this kind of shit to purposely stop themselves from bettering themselves. This media was intentionally used to maintain themselves as depressed. Being depressed was their personality, their hobby and time waster. Just like everything else from gym bros, larpers, fats and so on, it becomes a personal aesthetic. There's a lot of aesthetical overlaps with this shit. Glitch effects, colour shifting, black and white, darkened, "oldschool" UI from computers, pixel noise and such, why? Because for a lot of people, it's an aesthetic choice to stay this way. Even if they don't do it intentionally.

They don't help people feel not alone. People will take these videos, isolate themselves and then refer to the videos and claim that they're all alone when the truth is, if this was on twitter or tumblr, they'd have thousands of interactions and no one would consider that it was self caused.

>>28350872
>Why not choose to be happy
Bruh

I know this isn't a request board but fuck, that board seems to only work for porn related things... since this is a feels thread, could some anon please post the video of a depressed guy looking up and the upper part of the video is a compilation of happy couples? Can't find that shit anywhere

>>28350942
Terrible fork acting

>>28351539
You can't choose to be happy, but you can choose to drag your feet around like a whiny bitch

>>28350942
What in the world

The no gf stuff is cringe because I've noticed most people who genuinely feel that way dont realize a woman will only make their life worse and more chaotic.

I'm here mostly to remind myself that most of my family is dead already and I'll be losing my dad from alzheimers in a year or two. After that the only family relation I'll have left is an uncle that I haven't seen since 6. All of this and I haven't even turned 30 yet. I genuinely am debating with myself if I should take my life after my dad dies. I dont have any friends because I've been thinking about doing it for a while and I want to make sure no one can use the excuse of me harming someone with my suicide made it selfish. I'm not selfish. I just dont want to live in a reality where nothing means anything to me anymore. I'm not even 30 and I feel like I've lived a whole lifetime due to the things I've gone through.

>>28350941
Shit, this hurts cause you know this guy is a good guy. Game is just a synonym of dark-triad maxxing, good guys like these are fucked, and that's a world problem. Still, mad respect for him cause he could have either took the evil-maxxing path (corrupting himself for pussy), or the troon-path (weak men that see becoming a "female" as an adjustment of the dificulty settings), or the heroing path forsaken this fucking world. And yet he stood true to himself, he pushed forward and went straight its own path. I hope to have the same mental and spiritual strength as him, because right now I'm a 29yo khv and I'm considering the third path with a set limit of 33yo.

>>28351076
this.
Depression is for women on meds.
Men need to grow a pair lol. It's not that hard to work out once in a while and get a job.

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>>28351493
You never run out of "it is what it is", because it truly is what it is, it cant be anything else.

>>28352242
All the reps in the world wont change you from being an insufferable asshole.

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>>28351201
>Great thread guys can't wait to see the same 50 webms posted here before someone posts something new
>posts the same webm posted here before
good job

>>28352356
As opposed to the trans shit you are posting to "demoralize" whites. Eat shit and die.

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>>28352216
Yeah, my mom is more interested in my finding a gf than I am. I say, with no hyperbole, that she asks me if I am gay each month. "No gf" discussions are the only time that I see her display sadness.

>>28352784
at least try to sync the fucking words to what this retard is rambling about

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>>28352838
Fuck, sorry. I searched "webm" on my folder and chose a random video.

How do I stop hating myself? I'm so close of graduating college but I feel absolutely nothing
>>28352242
And what if that makes me feel nothing?

>>28352871
Misanthropy...I can get behind that!

>>28351076
>>>28350808 this autist posted a video where someone does a bunch of fun shit with a woman instead of doing the fun shit for himself,
Nah, you missed the point. Cinnamon Chasers: Luv Deluxe shows three versions of the same story, with the only difference being the guy's personality.
In version 1, he follows her lead and does whatever she wants. She steals someone's wallet, so he does it too. This one ends with them going to jail.
In version 2, he tries to be an "alpha" and take the lead. He's stealing before she even thinks to do it - doesn't wait for her. In this version, she murders him.
In version 3, he's a "good guy" - doesn't let her do what she wants. No crime at all ...while he's around. In this version, she brings a guy back to the hotel room while he's out for ice cream. She probably fucks the guy, but definitely tries to rob him. The guy dies. Still being "the good guy" he takes the body out into the desert and is about to notify the police to come get it, but she shoots him.

It's not autistic. It's kind of an interesting commentary on how with some women, there's no way to act that doesn't result in your doom.

>>28351551
good little double chin acting though. one of gary oldman's best roles

>>28351201
Since there's no archive for /gif/, I think it's good for anons to repost. There are some webms I never saved that I hope will resurface someday.

>>28350800
>be me 34m nothing special about me.
>met a cute girl i fell in love with 10 years ago and we had kids together
>been living together for 10 years.
>Sex and romance has been dead for a year despite me trying. struggling with mental health and jobs
>She dumped me 2 months ago. I have been dumped by someone i loved deeply before, and that pain is back again, this time worse
>I dont know what to do.

Anyone have the dance Mr depressio vid?

>>28353447
I'm confused. You had kids, but you two weren't married?

>>28350872
>Why not choose to be happy.
Because I chose revenge.

>>28350872
>Being happy is to be yourself
But I fucking hate myself. I'm a walking dissapointment

>>28354429
Your spelling's a dissapointment too

>>28354512
See? That other anon is full of shit

>>28350806
I wish I could spend another day with my dog

i asked to be depressed

>>28350800
I wanna know the sauce to the music on OP webm post and this webm Im posting

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>>28354987
Whoops forgot to upload this webm I also want the music sauce on.

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>>28354513

>>28350941

The sad reality is that most people are relatively simple in thinking.

They think too linearly to deal with people and society has broken a lot of the social boundaries that kept people together.

I use to be quiet and introverted, and had difficulties socializing through my lack of experience.

I was this guy in middle school, but the girl I liked was social. So I forced myself to socialize and eventually got hit on way more through putting myself out there.

I had a 10 year + relationship and now that I am single because I focused on improving my social skills, girls take me out for dinner and drinks all the time because they see potential.

I now have two camps of guy friends:

1. Friends that get women:
Have friends, girlfriends, married, families, etc. They don't simp and glaze off over a girls looks.

2. "Nice guys":
Friends that think that being nice is what gets you a girlfriend. They don't actually have the social maturity to talk to girls yet alone understand them properly and thus get used, cheated on, go for toxic women, etc.

As a guy who use to be more on the other side I empathize but I think that "nice guys" aren't really nice.

They are Pre-Incels that haven't grown up or had their hearts broken.

Learn to socialize and girls will come to you, work on yourself (no not just going to the gym), and stop obsessing over attention and wanting to feel heard.

Put yourself out there, learn to socialize and make mistakes and grow from them. It's not just girls being "whores" its also dudes not having the xp or intellect to navigate toxic women or circumstances.

My friend was cheating on her boyfriend and she broke up with him at one point because he was an ass to me.

Dude treated me out for drinks to apologize and I told him in his face that she was cheating on him.

People have anime brains and need to get out of the fantasy. Girls get fucked and have minds of their own.

YOU are not the only thing they think about.

>>28350944
isn't that always the chance you take?

All the festivity has stopped, the christmas lights are back in the attic, the nice food has been eaten, everything returns to normal. Welcome to another year

>>28355086
Please go back zoomer faggot

>>28351531
Baw threads do help people feel not alone
They’ve been renamed feels threads when a new wave of fags took over but they used to be glorious
An oasis of peace and redemption

>>28352216
>a reality where nothing means anything to me anymore
That’s a choice. Finding meaning is a choice.

>>28350941
Hmmm
>This void in my life keeps growing
Well yeah
Relationships are essential
And never having had one must be abysmal
His upper body looks great, his face is fucked up, the facial expressions i mean but these are due to his emotions. I don’t know what the cure is really
It’s like a neverending opening chasm for these unfortunate guys

>>28351085
Yup
Altho fitguy’s mouth folds are concerning he shows no sign of evil in his words and body language

>>28353118
Good guys may finish last but they don’t get killed for giving a chaotic one a glimpse of heaven
They actually get respect for respect
It’s a nosex angel role though

>>28354512
Under whose expectations? Yours? Being yourself is starting from what you are now, not from what you felt in the past
It requires putting your edgy mind to rest

>>28355086
Redditspacing
Puked over; didnt read

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Sober for 9 years, worked my life around, started to drink right before n/y eve .. gonna be a great year
Hallucinating right now, a little tipsy. Fuck yes absinth.

>>28353118
Was gonna write something silly stupid but your analysis created an intrest.

>>28351706
Good one

>>28350942
Problem with Marty is that everything lands in his lap easily by the end of the movie. This is one scene near the start because he can't find a date only to find a wonderful woman who loves him in the next half an hour.

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>>28350800
it hasnt been even a week into the new year
my mom already decided to burn a plastic handle lid in the kitchen oven

im not making it to 50

>>28350941
Damn...i hope hes doing ok now

>>28352216
Dont do it anon....you honestly never know if happiness is right around the corner. You may have a role to play in someone elses life that will keep them from darkness
Happy new years fren
Sorry to hear about your father

>>28355086
What I got from your post is that sincerity and honesty will take you nowhere. Already knew this but thanks anyway

>>28350941
It's a shame there was no one there to talk to him, he's replaced his social life with cameras in an attempt at a parasocial relationship without knowing that it's harming his real social life.
Not many people will want to be in front of camera, comfortable with someone who's made that a good part of their life. It's a very unique mindset and it's far too much for most people. And of those that aren't put off by it, you're giving them Pandora's box. Everything about yourself that you changed, improved upon and so on is there for the viewing. You don't get to put your best self forward, you give them a look into your life and despite what people will say, this will impact relationships.
They'll respect you less, they'll feel a sense of superiority for knowing more about you and that kills relationships. All relationships will start with you being lesser than instead of equals coming into the relationship together. You don't share past memories, past thoughts and such when the moment is right as a bonding experience, you are judged on a computer screen, before they know who you are now with no back and forth discussion, only their interpretation of what they hear.

>>28351248
Film?

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>>28352337
Yes.
Are you satisfied with what it is ?
If not seek more or different it until you are fine with what it is.
The search is the journey, it may never stop until the final end and that is fine too as long as you don't give up.
It is what it is..

Damn reading these posts makes me realize I'm in a darn good spot in my life. I'm probably way too old to be on 4chan still, but I guess I'll never leave

>>28352242
You seem to think that there is nothing wrong with the state of modernity, and that men should simply continue to tow the line of our own slavery to a government that hates us. You skip over quite a lot just to tell men to man up. If you want men to man up, then why are you okay with the lifelong shaming of masculinity of all our boys, while we virtue signal about how great women are. Schools are made specifically to be ineffective for boys and to excel girls, men are told their entire lives their feelings don't matter and that they are dangerous and toxic for being masculine. I guess we should all just man up without any sort of facilitation for growth. It's not like most men suffer from a lack of purpose or anything, and never have been able to go on a "quest" that turns them into a man. Working out and having a job is easy, you're just a daft cunt.

>>28355866
I was heavy drinker, started as a teen,still like drinking, probably will never stop. Now i pour in moderation in years, you can find sweet spot of drinking and demand it of yourself. Deny your craving the control , it cant have what it wants at any time nor amount, it will weaken. Dont have to go from 9 years sober to getting fucked up so much.

Don't throw away your achievement, you progress you made in life, setting yourself backwards.

If you got it under control ignore this and enjoy.

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>>28350872
I need feels threads since I am a domesticated lizzard. I feed on misfortune.

To be totally honest, anons, I only understood "feels",
After I saw my childhood crush, only to feel at peace,
The same way I did as a child. Not much I can do about it.

>>28352567
Very based

I'm 28 now and haven't had a gf. I asked a girl to a dance once in middle school and we went, but didn't really talk after that and weren't exactly friends but we knew each other. In high school I asked out one of my friends that I went to both homecomings and prom once with, but she rejected me (she was polite about it at least). Have had bad self esteem since 5th grade and haven't asked anyone out since HS. It took a long time for me to get the information and constantly re-evaluate myself and my social and political views, but eventually I came to the conclusion that while I'm not what women want, I might be getting an idea as to how they work.
I keep finding little bits of my personality or behavior that I think don't fit into what women would want, and instead of just adopting other things, I try to 'fix' myself where I actually can without compromising my personality. I've tried to make myself stable and independent, and keep up tidyness and hygiene. I consider myself a (hopeless) romantic at this point because I really do want all the silver-screen level parts of a happy relationship, and I want to get married and have kids, but I don't want to come across as desperate. I try to live as though I don't need a woman, so I won't be crushed or completely incapacitated if I ever get one then have to break up. I just want a happy gf and wife, and I know I need to improve myself first but it's hard. I'm gonna make progress on it this year though and update next year another thread comes up about it.

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>>28357383
Godspeed, anon.
I am 22 and once e-dated a girl, but she was probably a catfish (sent one photo of "her" face, refused to ever call). Never kissed a girl or have been on a date, and the two times that I was going to have a (coffee) date ended up canceled or ghosted.
I think that I am going through what you went through in your twenties, reconsidering my worldviews and and editing my personality, but it feels like a lost cause. Women feel comfortable around me and have even thought that I was asexual/gay because I never bothered flirting; sucks that one of my crushes did up thinking that.
What have you learned that women want? Tbh, my mom is more interested in my getting a gf (I will never tell me parents [who loathe each other to a point that I partially blame them for my relationship status] about me e-gf) than I am, at this point, but you surely have good advice.

>>28357577
From what I can tell it's this (some notes are obviously subject to revision with experience and new info, just working off of stuff I've heard and/or seen here):
>looks are always a first impression, but they (should) pay more attention to financial stability and intelligence the older they get (biological clock telling them to start a family)
>they are group-thinkers, and won't hook up with someone no one else will (you'll find more women pay attention to men after they start wearing a ring, they think "if another girl wants/is with him, he's probably ok to date and not a weirdo")
>they also like a challenge, hence some of them attempting to date men who are already taken ("look, I'm so good looking that he chose me over his girlfriend/wife") (avoid anyone who would flirt with you when you're in a relationship) (goes the same for if she will leave her man for you, if she cheats to be with you then she will cheat on you)
>the onlyfans girls are a very vocal minority, a lot of girls really do just want a stable family and a kind man that won't cheat on her, that can stay in relatively ok shape (not every woman is an evil slut like r9k might lead some to believe)
>they seem to reach peak maturity earlier than men, but it's also a little under what you would expect men's maturity to be, so sometimes they might act like you would expect a teenager would (don't hold it against them though, just think if you had a 16 year old daughter who was upset) (this is also why a lot of them like stuff you might consider childish)
>the more sexual partners a person has before marriage, the less likely they are to form a strong emotional bond with their spouse (both men and women) so ones who have high body counts probably aren't going to be super loyal (statistically speaking)
>some of them like when a man chooses stuff for her and she just gets to be 'along for the ride' (like choosing dinner, or date ideas) (just choose one of her favorites)

>>28357701
Also:
>if a girl rejects you, leave it at that and don't try again (trying again makes it look like you're her only choice and she has no competition, but if you don't then it gives off the impression that specifically dating her isn't the most important thing in your life) (if she legitimately wants you as a partner she might try to reinitiate it later on, but if you try too hard she might think you're super desperate)
>while some women do like edgy humor, it's best to avoid hot topics until you know her stance on them, so talk about something that's not your ex or politics related (send her cat videos or something, wholesome memes if you can find them until you get a better bead on her specific sense of humor)
(might post more later but there's a good document you can find called The Real Chad Move that goes over a lot of material I think is worth looking into. while I disagree with some of it, it covers a lot of different little tips and stuff you might be able to pull something from)

>>28350806
As man suffers so to do his companions.
Capitalism would kill all life on this planet if there was enough money in it

>>28357383
>>28357577
I'm 31, had the middle school dance with my female best friend who was my first crush but I wouldn't admit that to my friends or myself because I didn't want to be teased for having a crush. I was always bad in groups of kids because boys like to trash talk and I didn't like to do that.

I had an eGF over RuneScape at age 14, she was one state over and we met as friends when we were 17. Not sure if that counts for anything. I think it kind of does because we met IRL.


I got asked out in high school by another girl who was a friend of mine, I froze up because it was unexpected and I rejected her because I didn't know what to do. Maybe I thought she was messing with me, IDK. I knew it was real when she ran off crying.

After graduating HS, I focused on working and video games, joining some online groups and running some small gaming events. I was pretty happy and content being single because a lot of the relationship I hear about have money troubles. As such I didn't even look at discussion like this at the time. I come from divorced parents who got along well enough to parent me together, but one thing of their divorce was money planning disagreements.

If I was to get into a relationship now, I know that I don't want kids, and in order to be comfortable and not taken advantage of dinner dates would have to be separate checks. I'd be looking for an equal relationship, not to be a sugar daddy. I hear about women who only go on dates for free food.

You can get sex by going to places with alcohol and drugs or if you shill out cash. Working out to make yourself look good also should help, but if you don't have the ability to initiate anything due to your social issues, good looks won't help unless you're a 10.

You won't get love that way. As soon as whatever supply you're giving her dries up, she's gone.

1/2

>>28357799
You won't find anyone unless you actually go places and ask for dates and are prepared for rejection. Online might just be the thing now, but you have to be clear what you're looking for and you have to keep trying. Can get it if you don't attempt. That's my problem, is online feels fake and I don't know how else I would even. (When I say online, I mean in your local area.)

Be yourself and be honest. If you fake anything, you'll be unhappy in the long run. If she doesn't treat other people well, she isn't going to treat you well. Do not pursue those.

Never send money or other gifts to online "women" who you haven't met.

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>>28357701
>>28357728
The first three are great lessons, thank you. I will try to spend more time in public with my lady friends to look more "desirable". The part about humor is good, for I often jump too quickly in jokes when getting to know people in general.
>>28357799
>>28357819
Tbh, I do not think that I was catfished. My ex and I are still friends and occasionally talk, mostly about football (soccer). I agree that online dating can feel fake, especially when the other person seems really closed off from talking.
The main thing that I need to improve right now is fulling quitting porn and getting actual hobbies; hoping to finally start writing like I have told myself since middle school.

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>>28358131
Fly high

>>28355086
You need to Go Back retard

>>28350941
>>28351085
>>28352226
>>28356031
>>28356117

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m63ydpQj78A

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>>28354546

>>28350800
>>28350800
I planned on killing myself on the 31st of December, I think I even posted in one of these threads about it. It was my birthday and it made a lot of sense, I always said I'd go right after my bedridden dad died, and I even gave the entire year a go to make my decision(dad died in january) and it turned out to be THE worst year of my life
Thing is, my uncle just fucking died a few days before, and the weight of my father dying at the beginning of the year and now my uncle dying at the end made me feel it'd be even more of a selfish shit to make my family go through ANOTHER death in the same period.
My grandma died on the 20th of december like 10 years ago, my uncle on the 22, my dad died on the 15th of January, and I'd just put ANOTHER death in the middle of all that
Maybe I was just looking for reasons not to kill myself at the end of the day, but it's not a thought I don't have anymore, it's still here, always knocking on the door, no matter what meds I take, how much therapy I do, nothing.
>>28350872
>I hate to be that person but what purpose does reinforcing being depressed do?
You can't just choose to not be depressed anon, venting it, even to complete anons on a porn board, can help

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>>28358658

Looking for that webm of hay there Delilah anyone got it

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I've only seen this webm posted once so I guess I'll post it again.

>>28357323
I chuckled

>>28358694
I get the memo, but there should be no feels in this webm...
No one should pursue someone who frees their own line of sight.
This misalignment is an unconscious rejection. Like what did he expect?
If that chad didn't show up, it would have been consciously expressed instead.
It's not enough to be self-aware, external awareness is crucial to be a functional human.

>>28356062
Not really that, its just that there are formalities for people in general.

An example is if a girl doesn't like you she may just be being cordial/nice out of two things.

1. Creepy dudes that may actually assault her.

2. To be mindful of your feelings.

There are tons of people that are honest with their feelings but may not understand them properly or be prepared to deal with someone else's emotions.

Being mindful that people have entire lives before without you existing in them (Assuming you don't know them).

If you do know them, they don't really owe you anything. Its not about being honest and sincere its about being mindful of people.

Part of maturing is learning to set proper boundaries and vice versa.

someone please post the Homer Simpson lofi about improving yourself when you stumble or something. It has the whole routine. I saw it in /fit/ and /gif/ one time where people debate about the gym routine or something. Just look for your collection with simpson thumbnail. Thank you in advance.

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>>28350942
Fun fact: this actor (Ernest Borgnine) was the voice of Mermaid Man in SpongeBob. He had 5 kids and countless grandchildren. He died at 95.

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Keep on keeping on

>>28354524
Did he say before that, that's how he would stop her tears with money?
What's the full context, because he looked fucking destroyed from that.

>>28354571
Why the fuck would you put emoji in the subtitles?

>>28354524
I hate bobbys gf so much.

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>>28354571
Why do they film their livingroom?
Don't tell me it's mandatory in China.
>>28354559
My favorite.
>>28354546
Poor elephant. I wish I could have saved her.

>>28353600
Typical situation in modern day

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>>28358663
Mmmh, it's suspicious imo that your family members all die in winter. Maybe you should start taking vitamin D compared with vitamin k12 (the combination is important). In the northern hemisphere the skin doesn't produce enough of it in winter.
>

I never took any antidepressants or anything like that but I take Vitamin C it's my secret and maybe you should try it to stay healthy

>>28354539
Very informative but if you are willing to shoot or kill yourself don't do it because there are people out there who are still guiding and loving you

>>28350942
My mother was right and she is the one who knew the best for me as long as I have her I will do my best for her <3

>>28352226
Always remember no matter what you are. Always do for the better good.

>>28358717
From that height the concrete is already in your heart

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>>28356194
>I was heavy drinker, started as a teen,still like drinking, probably will never stop. Now i pour in moderation in years, you can find sweet spot of drinking and demand it of yourself. Deny your craving the control , it cant have what it wants at any time nor amount, it will weaken. Dont have to go from 9 years sober to getting fucked up so much.
>Don't throw away your achievement, you progress you made in life, setting yourself backwards.
>If you got it under control ignore this and enjoy.

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>>28360617

>>28354539
I've always had this question
What it that makes you a man
I'm a 21yo guy average hight pretty fit and have big facial hair so physically I'm pretty manly but still there are so many things I keep wondering like how to be a good man in this society and a good partner and husband and father one day
If anyone has anything to say about this subject whether it's from a man or woman perspective

>>28351493
the help button laughs at you when you click it

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>>28356149
The journey is the goal. When you play videogames, the best part is the leveling up and the growing, it gets boring quick once you attain those goals. Same with life, its the journey, not the destination that keeps us going. Am I satisfied with what it is, yes, to an extent. I dont think we are wired to be totally happy with anything, but the plusses outweigh the negatives.

>>28353600
Are you legit retarded or from some third world country?

>>28358634
I fucking miss LAN parties. Used to be so much fun.

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>>28358655
Incase you where looking for it.

>>28359608
song?

>>28358494
As much as I like that movie. It's still the story of a tragic cuck

I think that at some point I tried to make mathematical proof that killing myself would be good for everyone around me in the middle and in the long run. I stopped because it felt stupid but everyday It felt like it was correct. I think that I must die, I need to die, I know that it's probably gonna be worse, if I was a 100% sure death was just a void I would have done it already but as long as there's a chance that it can be worse I guess living is not as bad, right?
I don't even know why I'm talking about this stupid shit, I'm too much of a pussy to do it, I'll just think over it until an accident, crime or disease kills me.

>>28354533
I find it hard to believe that girl needs extra attention.

>>28352216
If you're white, don't do it.

>>28361249
best webm ever.

>>28353600
This board is 18+ only, anon.

if you are depressed and want to kys, don't do it, do a hero instead. if you kys you will always be a faggot and reincarnate down and your life will be even worse, but if you go out killing some kikes you will be enlightened and reincarnate up and you can leave samsara after killing enough kikes

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>>28358127
>2 guys
nobody came for because nobody cares about men
>girl
instantly has someone reaching out for her

typical

>>28361861
>>28361848
based
https://archive.org/details/dr.-william-luther-pierce-whats-the-most-important-thing-in-your-life

>>28361872
>you have a (forced) responsibility towards others
lol, lmao even

The only responsibility you you have are for yourself and the people you choose to be responsible for. Anything else is just another shade of commie-socialism.

And why do I want to be responsible for other people, when I've always gotten shit treatment for being below average looking man. There's currently one person in my family, and two friends who actually give a shit about me as a person. I care about those three, everyone else can go fuck themselves unless proven otherwise.

>>28362002
>society's turned to shit
>I don't give a fuck about fixing it
you are a turbofaggot

>>28362249
>>28362255
movie?

>>28358663
never give up. I am proud of you for not doing it, even if it was just motivated by how other people would feel about it. Used this thing a lot too. Mum would be sad, you know how your brain goes.
Have you ever tried meditation? I hate to be a shill trying to offer a magic solution, but just sit for 10 minutes and let the thoughts come up and go away again, realize you are kinda detached from the thoughts, emotions, stories your brain composes.
I hope you keep going anyways.

>>28362324
Manchester by the Sea (2016)

>>28351248
Damn, that hits really close. Film?

>>28351201
It tells you what you need to know about these threads. Same old people, same webms, same feels

>>28354574
Remember what they took from you.

>>28361387
No clue sorry.

>>28353118
That's just dumb. You're supposed to have standards and realize she's a trashy woman that's not worth your time. Guys get it all fucked up if they've never had a steady relationship before but the truth is: yes, it is better having no pussy than having pussy with issues. You just drop them and forget they ever existed, have self respect and pursue your own interests and happiness then one day you'll cross paths with a woman who will be drawn to you because she sees you being a happy, independent man who has built his own nest to live in and she'll fall in stride with you and be the one you were looking for this whole time.

>>28361043
Read the Bible and live and try the best you can to live as Jesus did

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>>28362028
>you are a turbo faggot for caring about yourself first and foremost
from you this is a genuine compliment, thanks for showing me my growth over the past years. I don't owe you anything, I don't owe the people that treat me as if i'm a cow to be milked nothing. Please go towards the ungrateful swines you call society, and let them devour you as scraps. I'll be chilling doing my own thing.

>>28357769
"capitalism"
Just say JEWS.

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>>28364153

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>>28364614

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>>28364619

>>28356100
Knowing the sun will rise soon

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>>28364546
>posts a tranny
yeah, thanks for proving me right
go kys already

>>28350808
whats the original of this called?

>>28364923
what's the thread's title anon, or are you illiterate as well as retarded?

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>>28364960
do a flip faggot

>>28364923
That doesn't look or sound like a tranny to me but I'm no tranny-expert so you could be right.

>>28364923
This i literally how liberals see someone who slightly disagrees with them.

>>28365054
>wahwahwah I was confronted with my own stupidity
it's okay anon. Also why do you think that's a tranny, or that posting it somehow makes a case for them, or even worse, that somehow I am in favor of them. None of these are even remotely true by the way. You're just making enemies where they don't exist. all out of blind arrogant pride. I pray you one day reflect and make way for introspection, lest you remain the pitiful creature you are now. Godspeed anon.

>>28365136
>I only care about my own demoralized ass even though I admit there's something wrong with modern society
>I refuse to do anything to fix it, I'll just victimize myself and cry about it while everything gets even worse
>I come out of nowhere to antagonize anyone calling for retribution against kikes

You may not know it yet but you really are a narcissistic fag.

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>>28365198
>I only care about my own demoralized ass even though I admit there's something wrong with modern society
I refuse to do anything to fix it, I'll just victimize myself and cry about it while everything gets even worse

>I admit that I cannot change others, and that I should limit my scope to myself and my immediate surroundings
I refuse to be used for agendas , whether they are some kike's plan to turn me into goyslop, or some tradcon socialist faggot who wants me to turn into one of his soldiers, I care not.

>I come out of nowhere to antagonize anyone calling for retribution against kikes
Niggerfaggot who started the insulting here? how extremely ironic that you act exactly as what you condemn, you cry out in pain when you strike others.

Last reply, claim victory, highground, or strawman me idk.

>>28365075
I don't think it is a tranny either, he's just projecting because he made a mistake and now has to double down for internet tough guy brownypoints

>>28350800
I have been a KHV for about 30 years. I was fat most of my life, which made me timid around girls as I never felt adequate to ask them out. Long story short I am 35 and I lost of weight and build some muscle since 4 years. Since then my life changed, I took part in a boxing club and piano classes, because I always liked piano. My social circle grew, frankly speaking my only social circle were my parents and siblings, and I got "friends". Women followed short after and since then I had 4 girlfriends on which I cheated. It feels like I’m mentally ill and I cannot bond emotionally with women after 30 years of loneliness, because when I was young I always dreamed of a family of my own, but now it feels like I have missed on too much to just be with one girl. Thanks for reading my shitty blog

>>28352216
>a woman will only make your life worse and more chaotic

projecting a false generalization there, kiddo. having someone to share your life with and have kids with can actually bring structure, meaning, order, purpose, fulfillment, drive, etc into your life. it depends on you and her. dont be dysfunctional and you'll probably attract a compatible person to yourself.

in the winter its nice having someone next to you in bed. but not summer so much, it can get sweaty.

>>28365232
Your mean to tell us that you were only as socially wanted as your appearance? Well yea, glad you found out took you long enough.

The reason why you feel mentally ill is because compared to the normie, you are. You know the reason of the change in treatment was correlatory with your change in appearance, you've peered behind the thin veil of human behavior , you now have two choices.

1: The hard road of accepting human nature and behavior, and the agony of going down the rabbit hole of understanding

2: The withdrawal and denial to save yourself a whole lot of pain, at the cost of blindness of the truth.

If you choose the latter option, let me at least give you some friendly advice; Never become ugly again if you want the treatment to stay positive.

>>28365271
>If you find a unicorn, than you can really be happy.
At this point with how skewed divorce statistics are, and how men get raked for everything when the woman decides it is in her best interest, you gotta wonder. Is this advice out of ignorance, of malice

>>28350808
Sauc on this?

>>28354519
What is the song?

>>28350872
>I hate to be that person but what purpose does reinforcing being depressed do?
When something is boiling over on the stove you need to take the lid off. It won't solve the problem completely, but it will stop it from exploding.

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>>28365222
>antagonizing
>insulting
you replied first, retard >>28362002
>I admit...
that you're a pussy? that was already clear
You said you're below average looking, you're obviously also a midwit at best, I guess you'll keep reincarnating down, maggot, for refusing to learn the right lessons of a somewhat hard lifetime experience. You talked about reflection and introspection like a fucking idiot. The point of meditation is to find the right causes to fight for, to learn the skills to identify an enemy and destroy it, everything else is pure new-ageism bullshit that leads nowhere but spiritual stagnation. In other words, you don't lack purpose, you lack focus.
My first post wasn't aimed at self-centered people like you, WLP even says it at the end of the video, it was aimed at people with a pair of balls, a sense of civic responsability and nothing to lose.
>I don't think it is a tranny either
>wig, clown makeup, tattoos, fetishist outfit, attention whoring, self-pity
sounds like skill issue
even if it's a real woman, it's basically a tranny and you're still a faggot.

>>28365274
>If you find a unicorn
Funny how unicorns seem to abound when the man-made law aligns with natural law and not with jew-law, it really is that simple.

>>28365287
Khazad-dum from the Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack.

>>28365324
You gonna call him an incel next for disagreeing with you on philosophy? lmao

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>>28365364
>call him an incel
No need, he did so himself. He chose to just be bitter about his 'lack' and refuses to learn from it or do shit to fix a world that puts him in that abnormal situation. He deserves what he tolerates.

>>28365384
there it is, you are a funny man
not haha funny , but funny

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>>28365388
samefagging much?

I've been thinking about killing myself. Girlfriend and family help a lot but I don't think is healthy for them for me to exist in this mental state. Must be so demanding. They deserve better, but killing myself won't help them either. I feel like I'm being forced to live and I'm so disgusting for feeling that way.

>>28365575

Break free from your mental chains, friend. It is always darkest before dawn and you are coming up on a new day

>>28365490
story? What she die of? Was it expected?

>>28365575
Can I have sex with your girlfriend? Thanks.

>>28365442
the classic

>>28356015
It is a little convenient but Marty also does go out to the dance hall, he does talk to Clara when she's upset and he is a decent human being under that. He has a future as a butcher. He just lacked confidence and was around shitty friends dragging him down.

>>28352871
>eating lizards and shit
KEKKK

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>>28365746

>>28350872
It's a psyop. Billions must smile.

>>28351539
middle school kid emotions

>>28351196
Stop talking like a wigger faggot on the internet, "nigga."

I posted in one of these threads like 2 or 3 months ago saying I hit 50 subscribers on YouTube, a guy responded saying it won't be long before I hit 100 and I finally did

>>28365627
I don't remember the details. I think this was in Australia. The daughter had a terminal condition, so it was sort of expected, but not entirely. Much harder to watch if you are a parent.

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>>28350872
>So everyone who reads this, has some draw to live. So why?
Too scared to live. Too scared to die. Simple as.

>>28355009
Song sauce please anons.

>>28350800
I won't give up just yet.

It's so fucking hard to stay positive these days but I'll keep on living, just to see how far I can make it.

I hope you guys find some peace here so you can keep on living as well.
We can all make it somehow.

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>>28366670
You're not supposed to stay positive when that only means turning a blind eye to objective reality.
You're not supposed to keep on living for the sake of living a meaningless hylic life.
You are supposed to embrace the suffering as part of being and do something useful out of it.
Everything else is fake NPC-tier 'happiness'.
"Our ability to adapt to a profoundly sick society is not a sign of mental health"
"Greet the darkness, it's a test to your courage."

>>28365054
>feels turn ylyl

>>28365324
>when the man-made law aligns with natural law and not with jew-law
Do the laws now align with natural law and not with jew-law?

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>>28366944
if you genuinely need to ask this I have bad news

>>28364579
Based and truth pilled

One day TKD, for realsies this time.

>>28351085
Yeah, I mean what could possibly happen to end like that.

I respect people who want to be monk mode though.

>>28367366
I've never seen this before :)

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I'll call and raise you this: the internet is the worst thing that ever happened to me. If I never saw a screen again for the rest of my life I might possibly be redeemed. I'm coming up on 40 and have lost the prime years of my life, my 20s and 30s, to the cold glow of of the monitor. Porn is poison, rekt threads are disgusting, gaming is a fantasy I use to feel a false sense of progress in life, this shithole is a place I go to get a false feeling of socialization, my news feeds exist only to feed my ego with righteous anger and belief that I am good and the other side is bad, and the funny thing is none of it even feels good, it's just easier to keep this shitty momentum than to stop and truly take stock of the situation and turn it around. All these days, weeks, months, years, tens of thousands of hours I could have used to make something of myself, all willingly handed over in the name of short term empty pleasures, all of my losses a profit to those I sold them to. If I was a strong man I'd unplug my PC right now, sell it and my smartphone, and begin my adult life 20 years late.

>>28367866
>when you wake up in the analog matrix

>>28367866
I agree with you the internet is a mistake. I and everyone i know would be better off with out it ever existing

>>28367866
>>28368124

This right here is the cause of most of humanities issues.

The acceptance of truth > comfortable lies.

We've been told lies about how the world really works. Our cultures, histories, roles in society have been extrapolated in a way where we believe we were the top of society.

White People - We were kings, Aryan greatness, etc.

Asian People - We have high IQ math people, etc.

Black People - We were Kangz and Creators.

So we relate to our groups highest efforts, seeing others as beneath us. But the reality is more complex/nuanced and that is challenging our subjective reality of such.

But the outliers of our society are what dictate that not the individual(s) or collective (For the most part).

The average person needs to be sold on a story/tale of how something works. On higher levels of society those outliers can congregate.

Ivy league and private social societies are proof of that. Once I got into some of these social groups I started to see the difference.

What you are watching now with the internet is a challenge of your subjective reality that has been taught now being distorted with the internet/globalization.

One of my investors told me while I was adjusting.
"you are going to start seeing a lot more mental collapse among the people around you".

She was right.

You can run from it but most people are going to be plugged into some distraction device.

>>28367366
Interesting video.

>>28367866
I agree, and if I could, I would get rid of it.

>>28367866
I love this video.

>>28350941
Touch is something which is never talked enough. I used toi regular couple prostitutes 1-3 times a years (in total) mostly because the 1 hour of skin contact, sex and pleasant small talk gives incredible boost to the shreds of mental health I have.
Unfortunately I fell into joblessness and its been 2 years of it and the hour just costs too much right now..

>>28366986
If you genuinely didn't realize it's rhetorical, I have seriously BAD news for you, fellow on-the-spectrum anon.

>>28365627
>What she die of?
Ligma

>>28368599
go back

>>28369240
You just had to right.

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>>28369146
yeah no, it was just a stupid question

>>28369334
No amount of "this was stupid", will change the fact you're an autist, anon.

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>>28356100

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>>28369348
I'm just smarter than you. INTP genius master race, not autist. I can see why a retard trying hard to discredit would mistake it for "the spectrum" though.
The traits between autism and intp may have a few similarities, but they are overall completely different. People with autism tend to prefer routine, while an intp despises it and are usually more spontaneous and disorganized.
An autist tends to be hyper sensitive to certain noises or objects. That's not really an intp trait.
People with autism aren't very good with sarcasm, playing devil's advocate or understanding metaphors, but these are things intps usually excel at.
Intps usually understand social cues, but they'd rather not participate in it, while an autist wouldn't understand social cues period.
https://www.madinamerica.com/2019/02/i-dont-believe-in-autism/

>>28358058
Bastard. Tearing up in my stupid office job

>>28358651
Feels

>>28365490
More feels

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>>28367861
>>28368830
Just a random find on twitter, probably from one of those 90's anime accounts

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>>28354992

>>28364619
I get it. I miss those days.

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>>28369870

>>28361043
>>28361043
honor and a penis

>>28369416
So we're shifting to MBTI now?
Bad save, anon

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>>28370611
>shifting to MBTI
>"nooo you can't explain why I was wrong"
Unfortunately, you have already exposed yourself as the basedjak fagtard

>>28370648
Now I'm the one shifting the goalposts?
Calm your tits, autist.

>>28368599
so we pretty much fucked up

>>28367866
that's deep

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>>28370968
Well, obviously, it's typical of retards to be annoying contrarians who constantly move goalposts and breathe logical fallacies
Must be so fucking sad to be a subhuman alien to Alétheia, are you perhaps a kike, anon? I'd have a death wish too
https://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=42343

>>28369858
Please find more with cowboy bebop <3

>>28354546
:(

>>28366631
fucking hell, remember to point the gun at a 30-45 degree, NEVER at 90 or you could end up like this guy

>>28358663
Hey anon. As someone who also lost his dad in January. (3 years ago on the 14th.) The year after was the worst year of my life too. I was dealing with clearing out his house, calling people for the funeral, fielding debt collectors, and dealing with the bank about his mortgage. I've never had debt so that was a new one for me and so was having to act like a homeowner suddenly. Don't talk to the debt collectors by the way. If the original debtor doesn't sue you and sells the debt off instead to a collection agency, you're most likely in the clear. Thankfully, I didn't talk to the debt agencies.

Sometimes dealing with the shit helped me ignore the grief, but a combination of shouting in my car and getting to throw shit around his house and destroy things that actually needed to be destroyed was helpful. I kicked a door open to a locked room in his house that I needed to get into without breaking anything. It felt good to be able to productively use my anger.

I won't pretend that I understand you, cause I don't. I was never suicidal after my dad's death because death scares the fuck out of me and he died younger than he should have because he had secretly gone back to smoking so I was pissed off at him for it. I still love him, I miss him. But each year after his death feels less painful and I'm going to continue to get better because my dad would've wanted me to.

One thing I was able to do was reconnect with my dad's mom about him. Hear some stories I never knew about him and share my own. Not sure if you can do that with your family, anon, but maybe it'll help.

Killing yourself is selfish, if you don't want to be around anymore, at least stay because you're aware that your family wants you around.

>>28350872
Reinforcing it doesn't do anything, but processing it does. Sometimes you need somewhere to go to talk about it. To understand some things. Sometimes you can't tell family or friends or anyone you know IRL. That's why it's perfect to come here. Typing my thoughts out has actually helped me to understand them better and work my way out of depression.

Making an attempt at having a good day is a choice. When you're depressed you often just don't have the energy to make that attempt. Sometimes to need to rest. Sometimes you need to vent. Sometimes you need to go punch a hole through a wall. (Not recommend if you don't want a broken hand.) Sometimes you need to get off your PC or phone and get out of bed and go outside. Depression isn't a choice, but trying to get out of it is.

>>28352216
I remember a post saying that if you're suicidal, than you can do anything you want to do. You have nothing to lose at that point. If you think a gf would make your life more worse and more chaotic, well life doesn't get worse than dead. So you could take the chance that you find someone who brings extra meaning to your life instead of living the rest of it alone or even killing yourself. If you find out that she's a bitch, dump her and try again. You also don't need a gf to have meaning, you could do other things as well. Think about anything that you've ever wanted to do and haven't done. Go do those things!

im never going to find true love its over

>>28356015
We all could be Marty. Marty had been trying for how long? He kept getting shut down.

We've been trying for long. Tomorrow or even today, could be that day where you go and do something and in the next half hour of doing so you find the wonderful woman who loves you.

It's just that when it's not this time, or the next time or the time after that and you add all the times before that you say you're done trying. It's not over until you say it is. Do you want it to be over? If not, you gotta get your ass back out there. Are you going to meet her today, anon? Are you?!

>>28350944
This is true, but the inverse is also true. Maybe you find out you don't like them as much. Or maybe you want to but they don't like you. Upon understanding that they don't like you, you can realize that you don't like them, because you'd only like them if they liked you. Rejection hurts, but I'd rather be rejected than stay in a relationship where I'm unhappy because I can't be myself around her. If she reacts poorly when you are yourself. You gotta find someone else. You should do your best to be yourself all the time. Contain the spaghetti, but still be yourself.

>>28352337
>>28356149
>>28361225
Stop posting funny. I'm trying to be sad here dammit. (I don't mean a word of this.)

>>28371640
>You should do your best to be yourself all the time.
You can literally only be yourself, dumbass. What people mean by that is "be a mindless drone like everyone else"

https://medium.com/@avasilachi/just-be-yourself-is-a-stupid-advice-371d7140ba30

>>28355086
"Nice guys" aren't pre-incels, they are incels. Incel is involuntarily celibate. If you aren't having sex and you want sex you're an incel. However, not all incels fall into the "nice guy" category.

What about the guy who does or doesn't have friends, doesn't have a girlfriend or wife or family, but also doesn't simp? Some go the extreme of becoming sexist because they want women, and other because they don't want women. But what about someone who is nice just to be nice? He isn't trying to get a girlfriend, but he'd like one. He follows that golden rule of treating people how he would like to be treated.

Whether or not a guy is a "nice guy" or a nice guy. If a woman uses or cheats on, or is toxic toward him, that is on that particular woman. Same thing goes for guys. Let's all be responsible for our own choices here.

>>28357930
Start writing. The second you get an idea just do it. In the past decade there have been a few things I've been telling myself I would do sometime. Yet, sometime has almost always been able to be in that moment and for no real reason I push it to later. It has been really fun in those moments when I have been able to do the thing I've been waiting to do. That moment when I finally decided that I was going to do the thing. If inspiration hits, don't let it pass you by by saying that you'll do that later in a better moment.

>>28371683
What I mean, is that some people put on a mask or try to act like someone else in order to have things a certain way and then wonder why they aren't happy faking their way through life.

So yeah, you're always literally yourself, but there are plenty of unhappy pretenders out there.

As for the mindless drone bit, some people I know who have conformed to just being a wage slave for their entire lives and are working long hours and are ruining their health in the name of working toward retirement get upset when I am myself in the matter of that I don't care about going to work for just any other company. I did that for a while to earn money, and I'm taking a break from working to attempt to go for my dreams. I saved up enough to start that. I refuse to work these corporate jobs any longer in the name of retirement. I'll retire and be able to do nothing with the money because I'll be too old to have the energy to go do stuff. I have enough money now, and only if it doesn't work out will I go back to work until I have enough money to try again.

>>28371744
I know what you mean, but putting on that mask is part of their "self". They are being themselves and that pretending is a symptom of their insecure personalities.

https://alchemy.substack.com/p/beware-the-mask-you-wear

>>28371775
Very interesting point. Yourself chooses to act like not yourself. This can be compared to how one may act one way around family, another way at work, another way in one friend group and a different way in another friend group.

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>>28371836
Finally someone with a brain here, got a bit tired of contrarian replies. Good to know there're still some anons who are able to assimilate new ideas when they're worth it, and paradoxes at that!

>>28371586
Thank you for the kind words anon, it means a lot.
I didn't have to deal with inventory or mortgage since at the end of his life, my dad didn't have much(mostly due to his ex-wife), and his debts were mostly paid for(including the 250k debt that his ex-wife left him with)
He had multiple sclerosis, had been battling it for some 20 years, but for the last 5 years he had been bedridden, at the last stage of the disease, and was being taken care of by me a little and my aunt a lot(his oldest sister, a saint of a woman). We knew it was coming sooner than later, but he was also just way too young, only 53. I know it was peaceful and he didn't die alone, his younger brother was there, and he passed in my aunts arms while I was at work. It was during his birthday, so the date stings a bit more.
The rest of the year ended up being absolute shit. I lost my job, my relationship, my apartment, even my fucking cat, so I figured I'd just do it on my own birthday, on the 31st of December.
But yeah, it's selfish, I have a younger brother on my mom's side and I'm already a shit absent older brother, this would be way too traumatic to him, and now with my uncle dying(long time alcoholic) I just couldn't do it, it'd be way too much for everyone. But I didn't make any plans for 2025. Nothing. My plans didn't involve going through this year, so I'm kinda lost atm
I'd love to hear some stories about your dad if you're willing, too. I'm close to my dad's family, but I've been hearing a lot of stories from my mom of all people. It's weird to see now how much she loved him and he loved her(he even offered to register my half-brother as his own, they had been divorced for at least 5 years by then), but my dad was just too much of a horndog and couldn't keep it in his pants. I often wonder if all the cheating was a side effect of the MS, but that's in hindsight
I just miss him a lot, honestly. sorry for blogposting but I felt like venting a bit. Thank you anon

>>28364619
>>28369870
+1 too

Any tips or methods to commit suicide without suffering too much? other than the usual ones. Yes I am a cowardly faggot
Save me the motivational shit or attempts to stop me

>>28371889
Venting is fine. Especially when you lose a lot of what you had been building up. I've heard often about guys losing their gf when going through times of hardship. Like we can support them, but the moment we need it we're too weak and not worth being around because we're bringing them down. It just means the gf wasn't for you.

You have no plans. I'll give you one. Get back up. Do what you can to return to some semblance of normal. One step at a a time.

Interesting that you mention the stories from your mom. I got to hear some stories from mine. Despite my parents divorce, they still worked together to raise me. She told me some regrets of things she could've done better in their marriage and was absolutely feeling the loss. Despite divorce, my dad was her high school sweetheart and the man she married and had a son with.

Stories about my dad? Sure. Gotta do another post because I'd run into character limit.

>>28371889
>>28371984
My dad was a hard working man who didn't change jobs often. Born in the south USA, moved up north when his parents split he went with my grandpa and met my mom at the high school I went to.

A car guy and a nerd. He was a mechanic and a computer guy at heart. Got me big into Star Trek. I always seemed to be a bit behind him in gaming interest such as after he quit Star Trek Online I was just starting to get interested.

He liked to drive fast on the road, and would go out of his way to avoid traffic even if it took longer to get there. While I'm a bit more about careful driving, he taught me some really good skills about how to anticipate other drivers, look ahead & drive smoothly.

He got me interested in racing video games by buying me a PS1 and Gran Turismo. I still have his memory card with his garage, replays and the a few cars he helped set up to help me win races. Other things he liked was Traveler (a DND like game) Ultima Online, and the last game he was obsessed with was Space Engineers.

He also had a thing for going to small breakfast diners. Because my mom had custody, he'd pick me up on the weekends & we would go. He would teach me math beyond my grade level in the car on napkins. Only as an adult do I realize that he let me win tic-tac-toe.

When my mom kicked me out of the house, he helped me find my first apartment. When the first car I bought broke down, Dad found me a car that lasted me a while a Suburu Forester for $400 bucks. Of course I paid him back. I'd always go to him for car advice and I think I learned just enough to not get taken advantage of by mechanics. I was able to ask him if he thought prices were fair for work or if something seemed fishy. Bad knees forced him out of mechanic work otherwise I would've just taken my car to him. He tried getting me into it, but I had a problem with the slime of oil, similar to how Grandpa did woodworking & Dad had a problem with sawdust.

Stories you'd like to tell anon?

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>>28371889
>for the kind words
>it's selfish
>kinda lost atm
Not the same anon, and I don't want to sound hostile, honestly, but you need to grow up. No matter how bad you think you've had it, there's people out there who had it much worse, this is a thought that usually helps in order to overcome tough times. At some point you need to realize that wallowing in self-pity is useless. Another thing that helps me is actually an ancient aryan mantra "you need to die when you die so you don't die when you die". It basically means we're in hell, samsara, maya, matrix, simulation, whatever - and you need to overcome thanatophobia (of your own death and of those you love), only then you will truly 'live'. We need to imagine our lives more like a videogame...
Suicide is not selfish per se, maybe what's selfish is being a burden on those you love or when you're a piece of shit. Would it be selfish of Soros to do a sudoku? I know I would celebrate. Now if you kill yourself over a teenage love or some other retarded bullshit when you have a loving family, then yeah that's selfish, and retarded. If you wake up in a sealed room and a psycho forces you to choose "kys or your mom dies" (?)
>>28371949
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-cbH0tf9mo
https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/sokushinbutsu

>>28350941
My ex had a gorgeous blonde house mate, migrated to Australia from Poland when she was a little kid. She used to touch my forearm and I know exactly what he's saying. It made me feel seen and accepted as normal.

>>28372030
I'm the anon that had been responding to him. Have you personally dealt with depression or with loss? Just because others have it worse, (such as being in the middle of a war zone or starving) doesn't mean he's not in a bad spot at the moment. There are trust fund kids who kill themselves. I still maintain that no matter how bad your life circumstances are, nothing is worse than dead. I don't think I'd ever kill myself if I had a few millions, but different classes have different problems and sometimes those problems no matter where you are lead to suicide. The year I lost my dad, I had plenty of days where I was not able to function. I stayed in bed multiple days in a row not eating. Telling someone that they need to grow up when you have no real understanding of their problems is ironically immature of you. It is dismissing his issues as non-issues and if his issues are leading him to suicidal thoughts, than that's a pretty big damn issue wouldn't you say? I compared a war zone as being considered "worse" due to the dangers those people are in. When suicidal, there is a war for your very survival inside your own mind and it is just as dangerous as any war zone.

You're right about realizing that self-pity is useless and the aryan mantra is good, but as for the video game part, as much as I like games, you only have one life here. No respawns. I use games to escape reality. The only gaming thing that makes sense for life is that you should be constantly setting yourself new goals like you do in a game. Adding in a Saw scenario like "kys or your mom dies" tells me that you're pretty out of touch with reality and your dismissal of anon's expression of graditude toward me, and expressing that he doesn't know what to do, tells me that you need to do some growing up yourself.

>>28372053
I said I did have to overcome it, yes. I used the comparison argument as a way to deal with hard times, not to dismiss his issues. It's normal to be sad about your parents dying, of course, but you should be mature enough to accept the fact that outliving your parents is part of nature, even if it's a child you lose. We are born to die, how is this still so hard to embrace? What matters is what we do with that time in between, if you're going to be an annoying faggot crying non-stop forever just kys, some people are helpless, and I don't think treating people like kids has ever helped anyone, not even kids. You need to learn from your pain, from your personal experience, and do something useful with it. Something useful like GROWING UP.
Sure, we only have 1 life in this body, we shouldn't throw it away for nothing, but if you're too scared to die then your life will be miserable, living a meaningless life is worse than death. You're a zombie, a drone, a NPC, a spectre. A mere spectator of your own time of being. You don't play videogames to escape reality, you subordinate your reality to videogames. You voluntarily become an inmate in a matrix within a matrix.
>out of touch with reality
Depends on what you understand by reality
>gratitude toward me
I simply meant that I wasn't going to sweet-talk him like you did
>he doesn't know what to do
his word, not mine
>do some growing up yourself
for what both of you or anyone in this thread has told, I had it worse tenfold. You know what helped me? Definitely not some overused corny expressions from the suicide prevention manual that only "help" the attention whores.