Post funny bible passages
>>17071989obligatory
>>17071989My favorite is still Jonah coping and seething after God, just like was implied the entire narration, forgave Nineveh after the city repented while he was expecting to destroy it.>Jonah : "REPENT OR DIE, ASSYRIANS!">"ok" *Nineveh repents*>Jonah : "wtf. still, enemies of Israel!">God : "a'ight, mission accomplished, great job, Jonah">Jonah (actual quotes) : "I'm so angry I wish I were dead."
>>17071989To be fair, “children” here is one of the single worst translation choices in the KJV. The word used here means anyone up to 35, and if it really means “children” here, it’s the only usage of that type in the Bible. David uses the same word of himself as an adult king. Twice it describes armor-bearers. Usually it means “servant”.
>>17071989Judas playin dumb always gets a chuckle
>>17071989Mary - They have no wine, JesusJesus - The fuck that gotta do with me?
my favorite is when some super old guy laughs about not having children and then he gets circumscised
>>17071989>>17072861This, now I imagine an old man like Elisha traveling alone on the countryside being surrounded and harrassed by 42 "children". From that perspective his reaction doesn't seem quite exaggerated, now does it?>>17072024Some people have big dicks. What's the problem?
>>17071989it's a shit book, not sure why christards goon over it despite not reading anything other than 1 john 1
>>17071989>In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.>and God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
>>17072861>The word used here means anyone up to 35This is cope. Elisha hated those little zoomer shits and they got what they deserved.
>>17073683>the Quran says you get pussy in Heaven lol, that's so primitive>the Hindu gods have SEX, wtf is this satanic paganism?>sex ed is grooming>this novel from 1950 with light petting needs to be banned>a pop star sang about her pussy, billions must die>yeah of course the inspired word of God talks about horse and donkey cocks, what's the problem?
>>17073798Buckbroken by zoomers. Did a zoomer fuck your milf wife or something?
>>17073818>>the Quran says you get pussy in Heaven lol, that's so primitive>>the Hindu gods have SEX, wtf is this satanic paganism?>>sex ed is grooming>>this novel from 1950 with light petting needs to be banned>>a pop star sang about her pussy, billions must dieNo idea who you're quoting here, but it sure isn't me.
>>17073798zoomers in biblical times!?
>, 24 because they had not obeyed my laws but had rejected my decrees and desecrated my Sabbaths, and their eyes lusted after their parents’ idols. 25 So I gave them other statutes that were not good and laws through which they could not live; 26 I defiled them through their gifts—the sacrifice of every firstborn—that I might fill them with horror so they would know that I am the Lord>it was just a prank bro
>>17071989>Then God said to Abraham, “As for you, you must keep my covenant, you and your descendants after you for the generations to come. This is my covenant with you and your descendants after you, the covenant you are to keep: Every male among you shall be circumcised. You are to undergo circumcision, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and you. For the generations to come every male among you who is eight days old must be circumcised, including those born in your household or bought with money from a foreigner—those who are not your offspring. Whether born in your household or bought with your money, they must be circumcised. My covenant in your flesh is to be an everlasting covenant. Any uncircumcised male, who has not been circumcised in the flesh, will be cut off from his people; he has broken my covenant.” Gensis 17:9
>>17071989
>>17074181Must really have sucked to become a slave then sold to the jews
>>17071989>David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.1 Samuel 18:27
>>17071989>At a lodging place on the way, the Lord met Moses and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it. “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me,” she said. 26 So the Lord let him alone. (At that time she said “bridegroom of blood,” referring to circumcision.)exodus 4:24
>>17071989Imagine getting circumcised at 99>Abraham was ninety-nine years old when he was circumcised,Genesis 17:24
>>17071989And Joshua made him sharp knives, and circumcised the children of Israel at the hill of the foreskins.Joshua 5:3
>>17071989Matthew 15:11>Jesus can you wash your hands they're covered in shit>Nah ah let me cover our food in shit otherwise you're sinners
>>17072861>The word used here means anyone up to 35strange language, hebrew, to have a word for such a category including both infants and 34 year old adult men. what could have been the use of such a word? can you tell us what it was and how do we know what it meant?
>>17074185The funniest shit is that the KJV clearly states that they cut their cock and balls of for Yahweh, but later editions cope about them just living like eunuchs.Incidentally, is sex between men and transsexuals even considered sinful in the Bible? Is there a single line implying that transsexuals are men?
>>17074369The bible is pretty clear on men being created men and women created women but silent on other chromosome variants.Perhaps Klinefelter are nephilin and that explains their height
>>17074369>“While Origen was teaching in Alexandria, he did something that gave proof enough of his young and immature mind, but also of his faith and self-control. He took the saying, ‘There are those who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake’ (Matthew 19:12) in too literal and absurd a sense and he was eager to fulfill the Savior’s words and also to forestall any slander on the part of unbelievers for despite his youth, he held forth on religious matters before women as well as men. So he quickly carried out the Savior’s words, trying to do so unnoticed by most of his students. But however much he wished it, he could not possibly hide such a deed. https://earlychurchhistory.org/medicine/origens-castration/
>>17074369>Incidentally, is sex between men and transsexuals even considered sinful in the Bible?Aren't 'effeminates' included in one of the sin lists in the KJV? It's the KJV so you'd have to check a better translation and maybe the Greek and some scholarly commentary but that could be transsexuals.
>>17074369"The truth shall set you free" is Jesus way of refering to an egg hatching
>>17071989Why sacrifice a goat to Satan when you can sacrifice a goat YHWH?>If your offering is a goat, you are to present it before the Lord, lay your hand on its head and slaughter it in front of the tent of meeting. Then Aaron’s sons shall splash its blood against the sides of the altar. From what you offer you are to present this food offering to the Lord: the internal organs and all the fat that is connected to them, both kidneys with the fat on them near the loins, and the long lobe of the liver, which you will remove with the kidneys. The priest shall burn them on the altar as a food offering, a pleasing aroma. All the fat is the Lord’s.Leviticus3:12YHWH is pretty fucking metalhttps://youtu.be/XvfRArzdPGU?si=fe5UV-QC1XYJWKBN
>>17074418Wait until you learn about Orphism
>>17072388>God teaching his prophet a lesson in both mercy and humilityBASED
>>17074401It's left unclear if eunuchs are 'men' anymore.
>>17074149zoomerism is aeternal. There is even a clay tablet complaining about proto-zoomers written over 4000 years ago. some other anon may have it.
That temple must have smelled like a slaughter house >Then he must sprinkle the blood with his finger seven times over the altar. In this way, he will cleanse it from Israel’s defilement and make it holy.Leviticus 16:19https://youtu.be/z8ZqFlw6hYg?si=_PIAqNT6bNAC1xMs
>>17074436it WAS a slaughterhouse, so yes.
>>17074447I wonder if they left all the blood and guts there or if it was some priest or slaves job to do regular house cleaning?
>>17074447Didn't the ancient Hebrews do cannibalism and shit?
>“‘If the offering to the Lord is a burnt offering of birds, you are to offer a dove or a young pigeon. 15 The priest shall bring it to the altar, wring off the head and burn it on the altar; its blood shall be drained out on the side of the altar.Leviticus 1:14
>>17074452Eberyone who wanted to shit about someone called them a canibal
>>17074202>young manI bet (you) felt very smart and subversive, but you failed to account for fact checking and also failed to provide a proper working definition of the term in the historical context.
>Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu took their censers, put fire in them and added incense; and they offered unauthorized fire before the LORD, contrary to his command. So fire came out from the presence of the LORD and consumed them, and they died before the LORD.Leviticus 10:2
>>17074202The young man here is implied to have been Mark, and the linen cloth is his nightwear, as he and the other disciples were woken up by Jesus telling them that this was it. Considering none of the other original Apostles or church fathers complained about Mark's gospel, by elimination, that disciple can only have been the writer.Also, if any of you don't know, around Pashah in Palestine it gets obnoxiously hot and humid at night.
>>17074478lets look at the greekhttps://biblehub.com/interlinear/mark/14-51.htm
>>17074452probably not, at least not within written history. but human sacrifice certainly existed.>abraham does not bat an eye at being commanded to sacrifice isaac>jephtah sacrifices his daughter>"every firstborn son belongs to the lord">jesus having to die for the sins of peopleeven if it stopped a long time ago, ot was still in the air.
>>17074495The church fathers could have just all been gay pedos.
>>17074507I always hear that Abraham sacrificing his son to God was a test by God against human sacrifice. Yet dude was fully comited what sort of test is that? Its only because he was stopped that he didn't. If it was a test against human sacrifice I would expect Abraham to be like "fuck no I'm not gonna kill my son for some schizo voices!" and if it was a some what benevolent deity it would be like " good Job Abe you past the test." The apologetics for this are insane.
>>17074208>was about to kill him.I would think if an omnipotent being wants you dead, the first sign of it is that you are dead. did YHWH start cursing and rolling up his sleeves or what?
>>17074513you're the one posting on an image board anon, you got any pic you don't want the feds to find on your hard drive?
>>17073683>From that perspective his reaction doesn't seem quite exaggerated, now does it?All Elisha did was curse them. God's the one who sent bears to slaughter them.
>>17074534The verse is very random in the narrative Moses and Ziporah are returning to Eygpt and it about the journey YHWH has given Moses a mission he is committed to it and then bam out of no where YHWH shows up to kill him until his wife does the forskin ritual and it returns to the narrative of him and her travelling back to Eygpt with no follow up or context on this random plot point. Imagine sending someone on a mission than you show up when there on it attempting to kill them for some absurd reason then they do what you want and your like good carry on. That's what the narrative is like
>>17074553Yawheh is a violent god. Also see >>17074483
>>17074497>absolutely irrelevant imageok but I want to see Pilatus' official report signed by Caiphas that proves your allegation. do (you) have that?
>>17074208>MOSES YOU'RE FOOKIN DEAD!>wait wait I put blood from our baby's foreskin on his feet>Ah nevermind, it's cool. Carry on, Moses.Remember, you need to worship God not because he's a god of love but because if you don't (and possibly even if you do), he will FUCK. YOU. UP.
>>17072388This might be considered nitpicking, but Jonah actually didn't say "repent or die," he just said "die." More precisely he said, on God's orders>Forty days more, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!But then>When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil ways, God changed his mind about the calamity that he had said he would bring upon them, and he did not do it.God was simply going to destroy Nineveh. It wasn't presented as conditional. But then he changed his mind.
>>17074563Yup and Chrtian want to dance around it however I saw a rabbi quote this in reference to Palestinian kids being killed by Isreal. He said this verse sums up the Jewish way. At least they own up to it unlike Christians who try to make all sorts of copes>“Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks"Psalm 137:9
>>17074569It must be the most schizo thing to both hate Jews but also worship one. What's that head space like?>>After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born (((king of the Jews?))) We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.” Mathew 2:1 >And when eight days were completed for the circumcision of the Child, His name was called Jesus, the name given by the angel before He was conceived in the womb.Luke 2:21>When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)>The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.John 4:7>Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?” Jesus answered, “You have said so.Matthew 26:25>Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him.Matthew 26:49>Peter said to Jesus, “Rabbi, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.”Mark 9:5>“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”Mark 10:51
>>17074607>It must be the most schizo thing to both hate Jews but also worship one. What's that head space like?a lot of anti-Semites go with "we're the real Jews, the Jews are the fake Jews"
>>17074614Oh I know everyone wants to be Jews the Chossen ones of YHWH even Muslims this abrahamic blockbuster is just that popular.I would love to see what happens if you put a bunch of black Israelite's with Chrtian Identity cultist and Hassidic Jews. Could you imagine the shenanigans that would happen? I would pay to see that.
>>17074607>retconned to self insert>changes word meanings as he pleases>gypsy larper in 21st century AD thinks he's le ancient Israelites(you) are a mongrel race descended from the pharisees, or what remained of them after the Romans were finally done. (you) will never be a part of Christianity, unless (you) do what Saul of Tarsus did and convert. All (your) bullshit talmudic writings are satanic, and there are no "judaeo"-Christian values because the two are diametrically opposed. Seek the Truth and it will set you free.
>>17074607Ethnically Jewish. Lived in obedience to the law given to the Jews. Practiced his ministry within various Jewish cultural frameworks (eg being an itinerant teacher). Yes.But, most Jews and their leaders hated and conspired against him. He was something different - a Christian.Accepted baptism. Sought to (and succeeded in his case) live a sinless life. Loved his neighbor. Lived for the kingdom, cared for the poor.He wasn’t a Jew in the way you mean it. He’s what Jews were meant to be like if they were to finally admit that they’re not good enough for God and come to him in humility for healing and redemption. See the early church.
>>17074626>"oh I know">actually has no idea
>>17074638Ok Jew worshipper>The written notice of the charge against him read: the king of the jews.Mark 15:26https://biblehub.com/mark/15-26.htm
>>17074644Then why wasn't he born to the gentiles? Why did it take Saul/Paul a Jew BTW to sell a watered down version of Judaism to the gentiles? Maybe it was subversion since rome was kicking their ass in so hard.
>>17074648Oh hey here is that one Chrtian Identity shill with his we wuz da real Jewz schizographic. Do you want be on my reality TV show where we make you live in a house with black Irsrallities and Hassidic Jews?
>>17074547No. The only lewds I have are thick brown milfs.
>>17074638Actually I descend from Wodan.
>>17074648Every time you call my ancestors (Europeans) ancient Hebrews I'll go buy an antique bible to use as toilet paper.
>>17074682>no retortthank (you) for cohenceding
>>17074731Its funny that the term LARP pagan gets tossed around but some are making an attempt to reconstruct European religion and tradition as best they can Yet then you have actual larp Jews saying customs of desert sand nig circumscicers is some who European . Why does everyone want to be larp Jews?
>>17074755>Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read: jesus of nazareth, the king of the jews.John 19:19
>>17074770>Johnread the whole book moishe
>>17074774>But he is a Jew, which is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the spirit, and not in the letter; whose praise is not of men, but of God. Romans 2:29
>>17074786>goalpost moving(you) will never be a real Israelite. you have no temple, you have no menorah, you have no morals, you have no faith, you have no lineage. stop embarrassing yourself gypsy kike
>>17074803>(you) will never be a real Israelite.wonderful I never wanted to be a Jew you say this like its a bad thing fuck the Torah fuck the tenach fuck Abraham fuck the NT the Koran the Book Of Mormon and all abrahamic circumscion slop dessert demon worship.Also Christ is king Of........>After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born (((king of the Jews?))) We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.” Mathew 2:1
I AM THE BRIDEGROOM OF BLOOD
>>17074822Why would 3 Zoroastrians come all the way from Iraq to see a newborn king of the Judeans? Your ethno-nationalist reading of the Gospel makes no sense.
>>17072388
>>17074707>>17074731I love how this image triggers both jews and larpagans. Maybe you two really are one and the same.
When you realize the sacrificing of bulls on God's alter all of this time was pretty much a middle finger to Molech.
>>17074756>Why does everyone want to be larp Jews?The Jews are the main characters of history.
>SAUL I TOLD YOU TO KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THOSE STINKING AMALEKITES! HOW DARE YOU LET A SINGLE ONE LIVE?!?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SLAUGHTER THEM LIKE ANIMALS! EVEN THE LITTLE AMALEKITE BABIES IN THEIR LITTLE CRADLES! TOTAL GENOCIDE, THAT'S WHAT I DEMAND!
>>17074847Go tongue some more African toes.
>>17073897you;re an idiot. go back to plebbit retard
>>17074149Little broccoli headed kikes!
>>17074944>open NT>search 'tongue african toes'>error: file not foundoy gevalt are you talking about the refugees welcome pontifical affair again? do we need to call an Ecumenical Council and formally depose Francis I over the feet washing incident? fucking inbred retard, (you) don't even know what you're trying to mock.
>>17074924>protagonists of historyThat would be the Romans and Germans (aka Whites) you dimwit.jews are more like minor mischievous side characters. they weren't even a thing until some rabbis got paid to write the babylonian talmud in the 4th century AD.
>>17074583Wait a moment, that verse talks about edomites too, the arabs south of judeaDid they really take that land from the jews or did they just make it up post-cyrus?
>>17074167What laws is he refering to?
>>17075006Why don't you call an ecunemical council on why the catholic church is full of pedophiles.
There's a lot of bathos in the more composite Bible stories, where you can't help but laugh a little. Consider the legend of Joseph>Brothers conspire to murder Joseph as he approaches them at Dothan>One of them randomly suggests they slay him, throw him in a pit, and blame a wild animal for his deathWhat is the logical connection between the two?>Reuben suggests throwing him in a pit ostensibly so he starves to death and they don't have to slay him, but really so he might come back later to save him.>Immediately Judah (the eponymous ancestor of Jews of course lmao) sees an Arab caravan and suggests they sell him rather than kill him and "conceal his blood", (even though they just reconsidered killing him) and they agree, even though Reuben should recognize this precludes his plan to "restore [Joseph] to his father".This is probably actually supposed to make Judah look good because he spared Joseph death. But since Reuben already spared him, it actually makes him look cruel.>Midianites(?!) then come and draw Joseph out of the pit and sell him to an Arab caravan>Reuben returns to the pit and is distraught to find out Joseph isn't thereAs the story has it, Reuben, who intended to save Joseph, sounds like he's mourning the opportunity to sell him.>They blame it all on a wild animal.The earlier suggestion then suspiciously has the form of a summary: 1. kill him 2. rather trap in pit 3. rather blame death on animalAll of these events happen over the course of 11 verses, with only a lunch break in between and no change in scene.All of this shit has no rhetorical thrust and makes no sense, and clearly represents some kind of conflation. The punchline is, this is supposed to be the perfect holy word of God given to Moses lmao
>>17074924No they weren't that where a backwater shit hole in several empires Persian Greek and Roman the but of a joke until they pulled of the abrahamic coup of Chrtianity and latter Isalm to present themselves as main characters.
>>17075119yes, that one too. but "full of" is a bit of an overstatement.
>>17075637Judea was in fact so irrelevant the pharaoh of egypt didnt bother writing down his sack of jerusalem but did so for several towns in Israel A 3000 year seethe over their superior northern neighbour
>>17075774YHWH makes more sense as a god . In the Bible its explained that the Jews tend to get invaded because they aren't being jewey enough and the invasions are a punishment from their God. No other culture really did this one nation triumphing over another was seen as a victory of that nations gods over the other. But its like ancient Jews came up with this cope to say oh we got defeated because our God was punishing us for not following all the schizo rules we came up with and even though we where defeated our tribal God just happens to be the creator of the world and where his chossen people too. And where not creative and can't make anything beautiful like the cultures around us so our super awesome God dosent like images cause he is Heckin Jealous but also the creator of every thing. The whole religion can been seen as projection of the Jewish pyche.
>Matthew 27:25 And all the people answered and said, “His blood be on us and on our children.”who talk like this
>>17072024Kek.This verse is talking about you, goy.>>17073818>yeah of course the inspired word of God talks about horse and donkey cocks, what's the problem?“Their (literal) flesh is that of donkeys’, and their (seminal) issue is that of bourses.”The verse is coming to say that gentile children are not reckoned as their fathers’, as all gentiles are presumed adulterous.>>17072861>>17074340The word “na’ar” means young. Just as in English this can mean almost any age in context. But the verse actually says “na’arim ketanim,”small youth.” Again small can be in either age or stature.Here it most probably means the conventional “children.”The next verse says “he turned around and saw them, and looked at them, and cursed them.”Why does the verse repeat that he saw them? To teach that Elisha “saw” that they were conceived on Yom Kippur (on which sexual relations are prohibited), and (because of this) he “saw” that there was absolutely no “moisture” of goodness in them.>God kills little kids!!!!!??!!!Nobody asked Yoder your non-sensical opinion on what you think is wrong or right. Move along, heretic.
>>17074451A fresh spring was routed to flow into the temple. It ran into a drainage canal surrounding the courtyard and out the other side. When they wanted to clean the floor, the exit was plugged and the entire courtyard was filled with fresh spring water. The exit was unplugged and all the filth drained.Pretty smart.
>>17074531The test wasn’t about human sacrifice, it was about belief in God.Human sacrifice was rampant at the time, and Abraham was the only person alive preaching against it.Then God command him to offer his own son as a sacrifice. Imagine the shame. That was the test.Like all morals, human sacrifice is only wrong if God says it is.>>17074534The “Lord” here means an angel of the Lord.Like in 13:21 it says “the Lord went before them,” and in 14:19 it speaks of the same entity as “and angel of the Almighty.”
>>17075991>The “Lord” here means an angel of the Lord.You're talking about the tetragrammaton here, obviously. Is there an actual principle we can use to discover where "YHWH" means "Angel of the YHWH", or is it just whenever it's theologically convenient to you?>Like in 13:21 it says “the Lord went before them,” and in 14:19 it speaks of the same entity as “and angel of the Almighty.”In principle it's not clear that the two sentences must refer to the same being. More importantly, arguing one reference overrules another is dubious when it's well attested that Biblical text may be emended specifically to transcendentalize God.Psalm 8:5 - where the MT has "Elohim", i.e., "God" or even "gods", the LXX renders it "angels".Zechariah 12:8 - "and the house of David shall be like God [Elohim], like the angel of the YHWH". The LXX has rather "and the house of David as the house of God, as the angel of the Lord before them".And this is especially true in contexts pertaining to God appearing to men. See pic - if the Septuagint translators (or possibly even the final redactors of its Hebrew vorlage) felt license to emend a reference to YHWH into a reference to the Angel of YHWH, why should we assume no Hebrew scribe might do the same? It's the most obvious explanation for why YHWH and "Messenger of YHWH" appear in free variation in the same pericopae (Judges 6:12-14, especially Exodus 3:2-4 where "angel of YHWH", "YHWH", and "Elohim" are used for the same being in just three sequential verses).
>>17075991>Like all morals, human sacrifice is only wrong if God says it is.God says it's wrong (i.e., "not good", "defiling", and "horrifying") in the very same pericope where he says he commanded it regardless. Ezekiel 20:25-26:>Moreover, I gave them statutes that were not good and ordinances by which they could not live. I defiled them through their very gifts, in their offering up all their firstborn, in order that I might horrify them, so that they might know that I am YHWH.
>>17072024this is describing literal proportions of chimeric men; actual beastmen, like satyr's and mermaids and dog headed men and antmen.
>>17074934Amalekites were the original vampire tribe of the post flood world. Vampires still exist across the world because of the failure to genocide them, especially of the Tuatha De Danann of the British Isles, but by that time they mixed with the tribe of Dan after their departure from Canaan.
>>17075991>The “Lord” here means an angel of the Lord.also, 'yes' means 'no' and 'black' means 'white', and the rules that help interpretation are a divine gift, even though they sound exactly as if words simply could not be allowed to mean what they mean when inconvenient to the apologist. on a side note: are you more riled up about the inefficient killer part or about moses and family unceremoniously encountering YHWH part?besides, this particular twist does not matter. the angel of the lord cannot kill instantly? humans have the opportunity to notice that he is about to kill and have the time to take precautions?also, the text sounds like they encountered the lord by chance, whereby he decided to kill moses. now that's more like how I imagine an omnipotent being to act (i.e. completely at a whim, for he does not have reasons, which after all are the consequences of limitations), but it's still weird.
>>17076092The principle is when it is difficult to mean God, it means angel.We know it can mean both, so it is logical to use the one that makes more sense in any given context.It is extremely time consuming to copy and paste the verses as I’m now on my phone, but it is very clear that the two verses are taking about the same being, the pillars of cloud and fire etc.I don’t really care for different Christian translations, I speak (biblical) Hebrew.“El” means might/power. “Elo’ah” means power, a noun. “Elohim” is the plural of that noun, meaning “entities of might/power”Depending on the context, this word can mean God, angels, or even judges.>>17076101Of course God says it’s wrong. But if he didn’t - it wouldn’t be.I only mean to say there is no moral contradiction if God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac. Especially considering the fact that it is only made known after this request of Abraham, that God disapproves of human sacrifice, to my knowledge.>>17076202See above.I’m more filled about the inefficient killer.Who cares about the timelyness?Angels don’t do whatever they want and they don’t have complete power.Specifically regarding Moses, even the angel of death held no power.For all intents and purposes the angel was sent to encourage the circumcision, with the threat of death.
>>17076250>The principle is when it is difficult to mean God, it means angel.It's "lectio difficilior potior" for a reason. Your eisegesis is worthless.>different Christian translationsNothing I said has to do with "Christian translations", the Septuagint was a translation undertaken by Jews before the Christian epoch. The differences are not interpretative, they're emending. I quote from English translations of the MT and LXX so all reading can understand, the NRSVUE is Christian, but certainly no Jewish English translation is less tendentious.>Depending on the context, this word can mean God, angels, or even judges.Yeah, hence why translating it "ἄγγελοι" (meaning literally "messengers") is an example of the exact sort of transcendentalizing emendation typical of the Jewish scribes to whom we owe our manuscripts. Pious emendation is a far better explanation for the text of Exodus 13:21/14:19 than "sometimes YHWH means Angel of YHWH", cf. the Exodus 4:24 example in my prior reply.The point is, that there is sometimes free variation between "YHWH" and "mal’āḵ YHWH" does not justify interpreting any other instance of "YHWH" as possibly a reference to an angel for that reason.
>>17072878Jesus was a cool ass dude
>>17076315> lectio difficilior potiorWhat are you even talking about? We’re not comparing multiple texts.
>>17074369"Those who choose to live eunuchs for the sake of the heaven" quite clearly doesn't refer to trannies who do it out of degeneracy and lust.
>>17076408I am saying that serious scholarship employ the exact opposite of your eisegetical instincts in understanding the Bible. That a reading would be felicitous for orthodoxy is not an argument in favor of it, it's an argument against it.We have manuscript evidence for ancient Jewish scribes prepending "angel of". Not just in the LXX or in translation, the Samaritan Pentateuch changes Numbers 23:4 from "and God [Elohim] met Balaam" to "and the angel of God met Balaam".This is not to mention the many instances where the text makes more sense if "mal’āḵ YHWH" originally read "YHWH". E.g., in Judges 13:3–23 there is a hierophany of "mal’āḵ YHWH", but>[T]he angel of the Lord said to him, "Why do you ask my name? It is too wonderful."and>Then Manoah realized that it was the angel of YHWH. And Manoah said to his wife, "We shall surely die, for we have seen Elohim."...strongly suggest that the text has been emended to reflect the later dogma that YHWH doesn't do theophanies in person. How does Manoah recognize the "angel of YHWH" as such, yet fear death? That is not mortally dangerous.Scribes deciding to irregularly use the holiest theonym for an angel is a much less credible explanation than a manifest scribal tendency across multiple contexts. Generalizing this suggests that the present Hebrew text of Exodus 13:21 and 14:19 as it stands represents an emendation of a vorlage which read only "YHWH" in both instances.
>>17074428the jew YHWH is so impotent he can't create perfect beings to begin with
All of Exodus 32:9>Moses kills a bunch of people for idoltry but spares the leader Aron>Moses wins an argument against the omnipotent being
>>17073707I know you're meming, but I've never even heard of the lexham translation and I'm clergy.Isaiah 28:9,10,11¶ Whome shall he teach knowledge? and whom shall he make to vnderstand doctrine? them that are weaned from the milke, and drawen from the breasts.For precept must be vpon precept, precept vpon precept, line vpon line, line vpon line, here a litle, and there a litle.For with stammering lips and another tongue will he speake to this people.
>>17074369Matthew 19:12For there are some Eunuches, which were so borne from their mothers wombe: and there are some Eunuches, which were made Eunuches of men: and there be Eunuches, which haue made themselues Eunuches for the kingdome of heauens sake. He that is able to receiue it, let him receiue it.The Kjv draws a distinction between those who were eunuchs for heaven and those who were made eunuchs by men, implying that they didn't actually castrate themselves(because then they would've been made eunuchs by men)
>>17076250>The principle is when it is difficult to mean God, it means angel.why is it difficult? note that "because it conflicts with my other beliefs" is not a reason.>We know it can mean both, I don't.>so it is logical to use the one that makes more sense in any given context.I don't think "making sense" should even enter the picture when we are talking about fairy tales with no referent in reality.
>>17076442>"Those who choose to live eunuchs for the sake of the heaven" quite clearly doesn't refer to trannies who do it out of degeneracy and lust.cope, so cutting off your dick and balls is okay as long as you go to church? got it
>>17076442Just because you transitioned for AGP reasons does not invalidate trans people Chud.
>>17074648>we wuz the real israeliteshow can christards actually believe this?
>>17077559Because Rabbinic Judaism is further removed from Classical Judaism than Christianity is.
>>17074695Because Israel was “the Lord’s portion”, the one nation that he took on to lead personally. So he wanted to show them first what real salvation looks like. Like a caring father who leads by example and then trusts his sons to get the job done, he left the entire rest of the world for his disciples to evangelize.
>>17076103She was having sex with satyrs? Sounds even worse.
>>17077564And? Bow down to your Karaite masters
>>17077564Not really, Christians have abandoned all laws meanwhile modern joos are just Pharisees with a fresh coat of paint
>>17077564more christardIdentitarian bullshit. what are the major differences according to your misinformation?
>>17077612Sounds kinda hot ngl. Biblical porn when?
>>17077649Did the second temple have priests/Cohens coexist with the pharisees?
>>17077612You have a lot of naivety when it comes to women.
>>17078209More importantly, Judaism at the time had a class of Rabbis and Yeshua bar Yosef was one of them.
>>17074149"Zoomer" is literally a buzzword that only means someone the speaker wishes to accuse of being younger than him.
>>17076478If they perfect, there would be no reason to teach them. No point.
>>17077616Kariates and Samaritans aren't Judeans either. The first are Assyrian.
>>17077618There are no old laws anymore. The OT was officially retired with the Resurrection but God gave them another 40 years to repent. The modern 'jews' are just like larpagans. No difference whatsoever.
>>17078215>dodges questions>makes up more liesrepent moishe. let go of the talmudlarp, it's not good for you
>>17078341The fact that you don't see how this makes Christianity more distinct from both between Talmudic and Temple Judaism is kind of funny.
>>17078417Christianity is believing that Christ died for my sins (with everything that implies in daily life)You're welcome
>>17078446Something not present in either form of Judaism.
>>17078336Doesn't matter, their orthopraxy, scriptures, and doctrines are much closer to 2nd temple Judaism than anomian Christkike fanfiction, which is basically late antique Mormonism.
>>17071989Mark 10:45>And they came to Jericho. As they were leaving Jericho...what happens in Jericho stays in Jericho
>>17078525>doesn't matterIt does>closer to second templeChristianity is the New Testament, perfect and incorruptible like Christ. Second temple was corrupted as well. Samaritans were not of the 12 tribes. Judahites were the last ones, and some Levites and Benjamites as well. All were replaced by Christians after AD 70. larprabbis are not Levitesashkekikes are not Judahites
>>17078209yes. so your only argument is that they have lost the temple? that's not an ideological difference by any stretch. what principles do they disagree upon with their ancestors in antiquity?
>>17074340Didn’t include infants. Is it really weird to you to have a word for males from post-puberty up to a marriageable age?
> For I have come to turn “ ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law— a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’You will lose your family and you will be happy.And yes, I do understand the meaning behind this passage.
>>17079090>anyone up to 35includes 1 year olds.
>>17078973Anon, I am a different anon and in agreement with you.
>>17079157the religion of homewreckers kek
>>17076467In one place the verse refers to the pillars of cloud and fire as a messenger of the Lord, and in other place as the Lord Himself.This contradiction can be simply resolved by assuming “the Lord” means the messenger of the Lord.That’s what a messenger is, why is this difficult to understand?Why is meeting the Lord any more dangerous than meeting an angel?>>17076861See above to answer both questions.
>>17081025>This contradiction can be simply resolved by assuming “the Lord” means the messenger of the Lord.Yes it could, but it would require the scribe to refer to an angel as "YHWH", which is tantamount to blasphemy. I defy you to find a single example of it ever occurring outside the Biblical text, which can rather be explained by the scribal tendency I have adduced. And using this as a hermeneutic to explain other instances where YHWH does this or that which you think does not befit him renders every single instance of the holiest name ambiguous, unlike my explanation. Why is it this so difficult to understand?>Why is meeting the Lord any more dangerous than meeting an angel?Because Exodus 33:20 says>But,” he said, “you cannot see my face; for no one shall see me and live.”...and not>you cannot see the face of my messengerBut this is a later doctrine, which required the emendation of Biblical text from those ignorant of or prior to it.
