Made some concept pages for my comic im planning. Ive been doing master studies of comics for a while now, but figured I should test my skills and see what I can make.The plots an occult detective story,"In turn of the century Australia, a young nihilistic detective is called to a drying gold town, to investigate a series local livestock thefts, with some being found sacrificed in the forest. He meets a local squatters, mysterious anti natalist daughter (squatters being landowners), who joins the investigation.Their arc involves them encountering demonic, silent hill type events, which teach them of the existence of true evil, and if their is true evil, then their must also be true/divine good that we can aspire to reach."Love any critiques on the art, as well as the story. I know that first off, my faces could use work, and probably my figures too.I think Ill keep doing master studies of comics, but Im debating whether or not I should make some shorter one shot comics, and maybe try and get them published in some indie anthology publishers Ive met at conventions.Basically critique me, and tell me if work like this is good enough to self publish, or if I should go back to master studies for a good while
and this concept cover I made a few months ago
99% of people on this forum are twitter/discord OC fanart (mostly porn) commission artists who only understand art from the perspective of someone who draws lame figures doing some lame pose with simple or no backgroundThe critique you can expect here will be completely irrelevant to what you're doingI could complain about your stiff figures, uninteresting paneling, wonky anatomy and stiff expression but really these are just common complaints about euripean comics in generalIf you look at corto maltese for example it has all of these issues yet it's considered a greaf comic series with good art and that's because of the visual narrative and storiesYour art is good enough for what you're doing, it looks like a generic european comic with all the typical flawsThe only thing you ahould care about is the story and its delivery, your art is good enough, ignore the figure obsessed fanartists.I can't critique a story based on the plot because plot isn't a story but yoh should ask yourself:What iconic and memorable scenes does my comic have?What iconic lines of dialogue does my comic have?Does the intro make the reader want to see more?Why should the reader care about these characters and whar happens to them?Can you pick two pages from the comic and convince someone to read the whole thing with those alone?If my comic is going to win an award, what would the award be for?The art, dialogue, characters, world building etc.
>>7406800I do have to say that the dialogue on the pags you posted is awful
>>7406800>If you look at corto maltese for example it has all of these issuesblind or dunning kreug
>>7406804
>>7406806>one cropped panel>stiff figures, uninteresting paneling, wonky anatomy and stiff expression?again blind or dunning kreuger?
>>7406807Any generic manga can do all these technical things better but despite that this page is overall much better than most of these mangas
Either this is AI or you have to put more effort into it. Those hands are terrible. But overall, it could be interesting if it was polished more.
>>7406810Is this hand poorly drawn?Does it matter?
>>7406811>>7406809>messy and simplified = poorly drawndelusional dunning kreug confirmed
>>7406811>Does it matter?I guess it's prefernce thing, but to me hands are very important. They almost convey as much emotion as faces.
>>7406813You win, I'm a delusional dunning-kruger wannabe artistAnything else?
>>7406815I agree with you 100% but also I don't think it matters in this context
Regardless of the hands, I think it looks interesting. Keep going and maybe you will improve.
>>7406816thanks for concedinganyways op the concept is interesting. the dialogue is really unnatural though, get a proofreader.
>>7406743design and colours are sovl the dialogue is bad, you dont know how human beings work lol but thats oktry to put less tropes into the lines, focus more on making it sound naturaldon't even care about how people in that time period spokeI'd say a bit of anatomical studying and a little bit of perspective exercise wouldn't hurt but overall, it's nice
>>7406743your art would work better with textured brushes and better effects. Check the digital brushes threads to get some! There is soul in your drawings, but I have to agree with anons that the dialogue needs some work. Are you esl?
>>7406743i actually like it. I immediately recognised it as australia. I like your naive style, but your faces still need a little bit of work to be appealing/compelling enough for a comic. Everything else is nice to look at and I like your colouring and inking. The speech bubbles could use some work too. Good luck.
>>7406800lol, this dude found “euripean” comics yesterday.> Your art is good enough for what you're doingNo it is not. Your art looks barely above mid, go back and work on that. Good panels, interesting compositions and colors. Perspective is balls in >>7406745 so work on that to improve your art.All the other shit this clown >>7406800 spouts could be simply summed up in one question: “who’s the audience?” Worry about winning awards later…
Thanks for the critiques, Ill keep at it and yeah next time I draw my own stuff, Ill just use more refences (especially the hands), cause I didn't really use anything and drew from my head, excluding the backgrounds.In terms of dialogue, yeah Ive never written much before, and Ive had no one to show this too, so ill have to work on that. Probably gotta read more comics honestly too, cause I dont think the sarcasm came through in the first comic.Also funny people talked about Corto Maltese, cause Ive done a bunch of copies from himEither way Ill keep working on itStarted tonight doing some copies from this, probably try to finish 5-6 pages, before moving on to copy from Steel Ball Run. After that Im gonna make a scene from another detective project im working on. Ill actually plan it out this time ,and not just write as I go with a good enough attitude.https://readcomiconline.li/Comic/Indian-Summer/TPB-Part-1?id=161746&s=&readType=0#19Guess I should ask too, if you think Im doing copies right, as in putting enough effort into them, and actually learning or not
>>7406855
>>7406743the drawings and dialogue are poor, but the setting, panels and compositions are interestingjust keep making pages and do studies on perspective and figure drawing on the side, keep making stuff
>>7406809that's a comic page from 1967 that was originally b&w and later rereleased in color, hence the jarring black ink work, it wasn't designed for color but for contrast
>>7406854i would do the study lines traditionally if you arent aready
>>7406748>>7406744>>7406743it's good, simple carefree easy to look at style, good use of colors, patterns, no complaints.
>>7406743Individual panels don't need to be drawn exceptionally well. But they should be appealing to look at. I'd recommend working on composition. These two are easily the best of your work you posted.>>7406747>>7406748Your op post is dreadful to look at.
>>7406743>>7406854While I can't say much about the paneling or the art that hasn't been said already, study the dialogue when you do master studies. The spacing, pacing, and punctuation aren't good. The sarcasm did come through in the OP, but not in a good way. It's something Joss Whedon would write. Broaden your horizons a bit and read books, watch movies with similar tones and premises to yours. See how they portray their characters and themes. It doesn't hurt to listen in on conversations people have in public to see how they flow in a natural setting. The premise is actually really good, just build a "verbal library," like a visual one.
>>7406745Did he shoot his fucking beard off?
>>7407187Forgot to mention, if you can't experience it yourself, research it. You have the setting's look down. While the dialogue and behavior don't have to be 100% historically accurate, what you learn about that period can influence your story. From little motifs, to mannerisms that make your characters feel more lively, to ways to communicate the themes themselves. If you're not doing it already, look into how people lived at that time.
>>7406743>>mind your typos>>keep your characters and animals on modelhow long does it take you to finish one page
>>7407839Usually 6-10 hours depending on the complexity. With another 4-5 for coloring. So depending on the how busy I am, it usually takes 1-2 days. Picrel 1 and 2 for example I got done in a dayMy original comics above though took nearly a month, cause I had a shit ton of uni work, and an unpaid internship with a 4 hour train ride, (wasnt too bad, could get a lot of it done on the train, or watch movies, I mean fuck, Misery, Hail Caesar!, and Red Rock West, are amazing)Either way, Im gonna do more masterstudies, and especially figure sketches, and make a scene of a different comic im working on, taking in all the advice I got here, especially the dialogue. Didnt really try with the dialogue, so Ill make you guys proud, and write some interesting characters, and actually get people to proof read it. Ill post in a few months, once ive practised a whole lot more and when Im happy with the comic its self, but its essentially gonna be a phonecall between two lonely siblings, with the uninterested brother, pushing away the sister desperate for real human interaction. Hes a detective, and shes a journo, and wanna write some oneshot detective stories with them, partly about isolation, loneliness and losing your culture. Probably have most of the city be made up of (maybe) anthropomorphic animals, to accentuate how alien they feel, although maybe not, because of 1, furries, and 2, that I dont want to be saying minorities are animals, more just make the world they live in more foreign and indifferent to them, if that makes sense. Anyways enough ramblings, thanks for all the advice everyone>>7407190it was a chemo raygun obviously tldr: above, I go into a huge indepth review into how amazing Snatch (2000), is and how it fundamentally changed me as a person
