Shrek edition
This is my wife please be respectful
>>201716408hello my wife
>>201716408Wife caught me watching tranny porn and now she's irrationally furious
Contribute to the Paki economy.
>>201716443too big
>>201716408Can cut glass with that chin
>>201716443chebbing crikey
tall woman
>>201716408Hi my wife i am dad
>>201716443mummy
love when the balls slap together in gay porn
This works btwExploded an ocean on gfberg earlier and she was terrified
>>201716471not on is it
>>201716484proper fancy her but i'm only 5 foot 8 so it gives me confusing feelings
>>201716471expect a knock on the door
This thread's existence is an afront to jannys authority
Well, it's Monday lads.Weekend is officially over
Seems like the Americans that killed that British billionaire has other British Billionaires spooked. One has returned home to Devon presumably for his own safety, parking his superyacht in town.
>>201716366I am going to London and I know it's a shithole but will it be fun
how do I stop wanking so much? normally would do 1-2 per day but the week or two I've been dong 3 per day and it's making my dick sore and my back sore from straining
the ideal woman
>>201716595London, Ohio?
>>201716366I always took fiona for a stereotypical jewish woman, and donkey to be african. the rest are accurate though
Monday the 2nd of September A new beginning for many Start of the school year Uni the next month 6AM wake ups for many across the country
italian politician
cheeky 1am lasagna lads?
>>201716608The UK I thought it would be fun to call for a bit
>>201716551I'm 5'11Is that enough or am I fucked?
>>201716599>my back sore from strainingyou doing press ups or something
ah... hello all
>>201716638depends how much money you have
>>201716631where's the pate for fuck sakehow are you supposed to eat that? eat everything individually like some autist?
mmmmmmm
>>201716595It can be lots of fun if you go to the right places, lots of gay bars
>>201716674elton
>>201716595>>201716634don't listen to /int/ catastrophising, it's a great city to visitmake sure you enjoy plenty of pints
>>201716661none
Nell Tiger Free
>>201716674prefer this >>201716631don't like the fake chips baskets
>>201716674John
just seen the cute goth at the petrol station she always works the night shift. wish i wasnt such a gimp and could ask for her number
https://youtu.be/THt5u-i2d9k
woken up with severe pain in my anus
Nell Tiger Free Gazza
>>201716681>>201716687I am gonna go to a Gregs and buy a Gregs shirt
>Sir Elton Hercules John CH CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947)Reginald Dwight?
>>201716631When to a Birmingham pub once that did food and they put my chips in a coffee cup. Hate millennials
me when i'm on my sofa eating a pizza
should i have another cider lads
Do yankoids even know what it is to suffer?
>>201716434suggest her to become a FtM pooner and get a phalloplasty
>>201716660alright lad
Far right thuggery
>>201716728mental
>>201716733You should stop the cider and drink a real drink
>>201716734nice webm lad
>>201716715just ask her for her onlyfans
>>201716755I want have a little bit of fun
>>201716734....yh
>>201716744aye, you?
Nation of immigrants.
>>201716734would like to lob a couple of hand grenades into the middle of that
Going to the UK and choosing to greggs over a local bakery is like ordering a fosters in Australia or choosing McDonalds and KFC as your fast food options in America
>>201716694looks terrified
just took a fat lineup at 9am for toilI'm honestly such a grim wee cunt I need fucking put down
>>201716766somehow i don’t think that would go down well
meet the new bosssame as the old boss
>>201716784aye
>>201716715she works night shift at the petrol stationthat should tell you something
L or R?
>>201716791Mental how Germanics took over but by 800 AD we were majority CeltsWonder what happened between 500-800 AD that the formerly enslaved and genocided Britons became the "Anglo-Saxons"
>>201716795McDonalds and KFC are American and eaten by Americans though
>>201716844stop being weird
>>201716715what you should do is buy the largest condoms you can find there and stare her down while paying
>>201716734https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfXbZHpKkec
School textbooks have changed since I were a lad
>>201716844N
Mental we are all from one wee shite rainy island in the North Atlantic oceanBrutal
>>201716805see >>201716839she's obviously insane and up for anything you are in go for it
>>201716880me at the bottom (the cat)
>>201716880
What's she going to look like with a chimney on her
Bought some of those big magnum condoms once and I thought they fit at first which made me happy but then they ended up wrinkling up and it was like I had a sandwich bag on my knob by the end
why are WOMEN like this
>>201716936Literally made me think of my ex and now I'm crying
>>201716936ktim but I’m a bloke and instead of hogwarts it’s a hug
>>201716936who even posts this pish
>>201716844No need to fight girls, there's enough of me to share.
>>201716922this reads like a ken-sama pasta
>>201716954harry potter girls are the female equivalent of warhammer fans, you're not missing much
>>201716954
>>201716936they never grow up because men do all the decision-making for them and things are handed to them on a plate. we meanwhile carry the weight of the world on our shoulders
>>201716929probably the most interesting thing to ever happen in your shite life
>>201716936Me but with girls
>we meanwhile carry the weight of the world on our shoulders
>>201716929Genuinely need a wider condom and magnums are no good for that. I use a mates king sized.Not hugely above average in length (although I used to be when I weighed less and didn’t have a fat pad), just girthier than usual, you know?
thinking about when biff and chip went to marrakesh
>>201716980Saw a dead carp once. Reckon it jumped right out the canal and died on the path
>>201716551Race mixing is wrong
Never used a condom in my life, those things are horribly uncomfortable and you can't feel anything so what's the point, bareback only pour moi
>>201716366But where's the Iranians that it's allegedly targeted against?
>>201717019Does he at least use lube on your arse?
saw a plastic bag on the side of the motorway once, it was stuck in a bush looool
>>201717019you don't need them when you're only wanking anyway fella
>>201716990willard like a tuna can
>>201716936love harry potter mecant wait for the tv show
>>201717019Sometimes you’re with a lady of questionable morals and then a condom is required, but I agree, without feels infinitely nicer
Honestly cannot get over thisGet it right, fucking, up, themBastards think they could lay a finger on usCunts.
>>201717062Foch was right.Again, should have listened.
>>201717019dont think you can impregnate your hand anyways x
>>201716990Lucky bastard man my cock is 6.3 inch long but literally the girth of a pen so depressing
>>201717062what was british berlin like
>>201717019but then you need to care too much about what you're shagging
>>201717084Handy for unclogging drains though I bet
>>201717062eh?what are those yank splobs on british clay?
what girth constitutes a pencil dick
Shagged 3 women in my life but never ever kissed anyone. Don’t even want to anymore since any girl will instantly know
>>201717106Same girth as a pencil. You stupid or something?
>>201717062How are they going to carve up Ukraine?
>>201717106as a girl, I'd have to say forearm circumference and below
>>201717106can you fit it up a toilet roll tube
We wrecked those fucking cuntsOur great grandfathersFor their country and peopleThey fucking dared to ever threaten us. Dead and fucking buried. Rule Britannia. SCUM.
>>201717142Is toilet roll tube a euphemism for your arsehole
>>201717129
>>201716796so would any girl is smelly ugly autist incel taking pictures without permission
>>201717106
droppin' loads!
>>201717142>Toilet paper rolls generally have a standard circumference of approximately 6 inchesdamn
>>201717176Nell Tiger Free doesn't hate autistic men
this is literally the same girth as my dick and I wish i was joking
What if we just asked Germany to invade France with us and then split it up? French aren’t going to do nothing. Worth a thought
Fucking hell can we stop talking about penises.
The last thing Hitler's men heard before they were slaughtered like fucking cattlehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NziNCnUR2cM
>>201717159no it's a toilet roll tubetake the test
>>201717166credit to the cat he wasn't messing about
>Monday MornDiet #37 begins
>>201717194Tragic if true
>>201717194what is that
the condom ring thing presses down on a big vein at the base of my peepee and it's quite uncomfortablealways have to convince them I'm not bullshitting
>>201717215what am i looking at
>>201716844Left
>>201717215righto
>>201717215
>>201717142easily
spaino captured on camera
>>201717251>>201717254the duality of directions
>>201717232Uv light use it when I go to hotels to make sure no cum stains on the pillow
>>201717168need one of these up my arse ASAP
are we atleast using stem cells from aborted fetuses to cure cancer yet or are we being double retarded
>>201717266oh my DAYS blud
>>201717198lad... you don't stand a chance
>>201717263Why does he just run away?
>>201717215Can we have a moment of silence for condolences for Kevin, Greg, Eric, Andrew, Jason, Dennis, Chris, Daniel, Timmy
>>201717280What
>>201717236>big vein at the base of my peepeethat's the deep dorsal vein
>Here are some common circumference sizes for major brand toilet paper rolls:>Charmin: Diameter approximately 5 inches (12.7 cm), circumference approximately 15.7 inches (40 cm)>Scott: Diameter approximately 4.5 inches (11.4 cm), circumference approximately 14.1 inches (35.8 cm)>Cottonelle: Diameter approximately 4.6 inches (11.7 cm), circumference approximately 14.5 inches (36.8 cm)>Angel Soft: Diameter approximately 4.5 inches (11.4 cm), circumference approximately 14.1 inches (35.8 cm)>the average circumference of an erect human penis is 11.66 cm (4.59 in).huh?
>>201717266Actual mong man ahaha
cocky french bois getting pounded by big english cock
>>201717266holy shit you have got to be kidding you can't have cock girth smaller than those mini torches that take 2 AAA batteries
Got a luscious pecker
>>201717315are you disabled?
>>201717315the companies just model them on an employees penis thought everyone knew this
>>201717326bud, you get thrown in prison for wrongthink by policemen with no gunsthe present englishman is a fucking disgrace
>>201717266alri Monk
UND DAS HEISTBOM BOM BOMEEEEEEEEERIKA
They call me metal gear solid, because I have a solid snake
>>201717329It takes 3 AAA batteries but i think it’s bigger than the torch you are thinking of
>>201717329i do
>length>girthcome on
>>201717359Do u have shave your legs? Reply quickly im stroking my dick thinking about you
treated the gf to a curry earlier and now reaping the benefits
>>201717383Something tells me weight is somewhat equal to size if my calculations are correct
>>201717403i do
settle down lads
>>201717410not if you've got a hollow cock
>>201717360*arrives in Paris*IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE
>>201717309you're right mate that's exactly where it isit's the only prominent vein I have almost looks wrong
If you don't shag during High School you're forever destined to be a freak
>>201717405utterly repugnant post
>>201717351Prefer not to say
>>201717414Fuck really
night ladswork tomorrow innit
>>201717446yeah once every 5 months or so
>>201717457WHy?
How many Frenchman do you reckon you could take it a fight? I reckon at least 3
>>201717455hopefully that'll be me one day soon
>>201717457Pointless why get my hopes up
>>201717436first shag was at 16 but still turned out a freak me
>>201717455have a good sleep
got a girl coming over for a date next thursday nightdo I show her the new norm or mr birchum?
>>201717465makes you go faster
>>201717436Same goes for if you call it “high school” like a yank
>>201717480some people are genuinely beyond reproach
>>201717498Fuck man imagine sucking on them like a baby
getting the daily dose of Mark Collett
>>201717514ok now what
Thinking about going nonce hunting and stealing all their porn
>>201717487are we talking the originals or the gay porn?
>>201717487Show her your collection of toilet paper rolls you can't fit into.
>>201717495is it a northern thing not to call it a high schoolevery single high school in london is called a high school
>>201717503Yeah like you if you think that screenshot is real u big fat mong
>>201717523
>>201717498I wish women had penises on their chests instead of tits, would be far more fun
I shall not falter.
>>201717549I never said I thought it was real
>>201717528>>201717536you lot apppear to be lostI got youhttps://www.reddit.com/r/canada/
Just got a burger king ad on my phone featuring AI pictures of burgerssociety is finished.
>>201717366dont tell me they nicknamed me goku dragon balls because of my.... holy shite
>>201717480Now I know that made her feel good. Had to share it with the group chat girls immediately, let them other bitches know you have men out here ready to rape you. You don't want to be unrapeable one in the girls group chat. She put them other bitches in their place.
explain
>>201717583>pre-covidimagine how bad it is now
wonder if her back's gonna be fucked when she's older from standing like that all the time
>>201717498um
>>201717583men and women have nothing in common, and rates of autism, homosexuality and gender dysphoria are sky-rocketing probably due to chemicals in our water and food
>>201717583If you removed answers from people under 22 then it would drop to 2%
>>201717601her poor back...
>>201717583Chad and Jamal took all are women
Business idea: Hunt down nonces and tell them to give you their hard drives or you’ll call the police. Wipe them and use them to start a server.
>>201717583after pandemic that shit like 60% now
>>201717601people dont believe me that 99% of women doing stupid dances have tapeworms up their bums
wish i had mates to chill with
>>201717659
>>201717601imagine trying to fuck her on that bed and all her fucking teddies are falling all over the fucking place
hunting for nonce hunters
>>201717662Sure whatever helps u sleep at night mate
>Aidan McAnespie (22 June 1964[1] – 21 February 1988) was an Irish Catholic man who was shot in the back by a serving soldier after passing through the Aughnacloy, County Tyrone border checkpoint in Northern Ireland during the Troubles>McAnespie was travelling to a match when he was killed by a gunshot wound to the back. He had just walked past a British Army checkpoint.[5][6] The British Army said that McAnespie had been hit when the weapon had discharged accidentally as a soldier was moving the gun with wet hands. Forensic evidence suggested that the fatal shot was one of three that had ricocheted off the road two metres behind McAnespie.[7][8]>Charges were initially brought against Grenadier Guard David Jonathan Holden for manslaughter but were dropped prior to prosecution.[6] He was fined for negligent discharge of the weapon and in 1990 was given a medical discharge.[9]>McAnespie had previously said that he had been threatened by the security forces,[10] and, according to his sister, soldiers had threatened to kill him on several occasions.[11]Scum
>>201716467
>>201717667what about us
>>201717679Who watches the watchmen?
>>201717659what if I just do that first part
>>201717667Same but only with proper matessometimes I regret wasting time with some lads sorry to say
>>201717679found you ladhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=321G2S5XJ_c
Oh come let us adore himOh come let us adore himOh come let us adore him, Christ the Lord.
Like 50% of nonce hunters are nonces themselves, and 100% of them are low IQ unemployed underclass cocaine users who vote far rightat least that's the impression they give off.what's actually factually however is that about 10% of the people they catch are innocent and often have their lives ruined as a result even after court proves it.HOWEVER: consider that 90% of the people they catch are legit nonces, who would likely never be caught otherwise, who the police would never look into.On that basis, despite all their flaws, I do believe nonce hunters are a net positive force
battering my bollocks, black and blue
He who would valiant be‘Gainst all disasterLet him in constancyFollow the MasterThere’s no discouragementShall make him once relentHis first avowed intentTo be a pilgrim.
Will he say it?
happiness is a full diaper
>>201717763Now I have to wank
>>201717776Liberalism and Fascism are the same.Without Socialism society is doomed to capitalism, poverty, crime, barbarism.
>>201717686That's the english for you.
>>201717703hm
>>201717763Who’s this then?
my choke my willy till it pops
ladsyou know how young men are consuming content from jordan peterson and ben shapiro and other alr-right figures?who are young women following on yt/social media?just trying to understand why they're so left wing whilst young men are so right wingno names spring to mind though
brb, off committing suicide will post again when I turn 18 in my next life assuming /brit/ still exists x
going to the Black Bull Inn to have lunch with my gay dad
>>201717852See you tomorrow
>>201717828mad how poofters are flocking to both extremes
>>201717849women don't watch political yters because they aren't incels
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H2LQMElLoLs&pp=ygUgaSBsaWtlIGxpdHRsZSBnaXJscyBvaW5nbyBib2luZ28%3D
>>201717849all their political knowledge comes solely from insta reels and tiktokall that they ever see is liberal propaganda
>>201717828Slightly Liberals got a lot more straight while Conservatives got a lot more gay
Few thing's I'll mock but GodCan larp as an edgy intellectual athiest but deep down there is a terror at the thought of offending him
>>201717849>you know how young men are consuming content from jordan peterson and ben shapiroyea, 5 years agonow it's Mr Beast and Andrew Tate, keep up old man
>>201717849Hasanabi, Contrapoints, Shaun, Novara, Second Thought, Luna Oi, Hakim etc
>>201717942Faggot
>>201717942God fear is powerful shit. Powerful shit. Powerful shit. Powerful shit.
/brit/ is good for your health
>>201717959He said young women not trannies
>>201717984Terrifying truly.
>>201717990Most cis women don't care for political channels but those who do are watching these
>>201717988Bacon is good for me
>>201717969Away to fuck SatanJudaic freak
>>201717942very honourable, bet you can reach right down to your own ballsack and suckle it dry
Sir Poo Scranner
>Enormous explosion outside the O2 was caused by convicted paedophile Jacky Jhaj after he blew up a BBC lorry and police car while NAKED on film set What a headline this is
>>201717942>puts male g spot in the anus >sends you to hell for buggery
Just did a rancid liquid shart all over your cringe Abrahamic "god"
>>201716366Every week when I need it I play the Shrek 2 'Holding Out For A Hero' scene with human Shrek, horse Donkey, Puss in Boots and the Giant Gingerbread Man all racing to get to human Fiona before she gets kissed. Those scenes are pure testosterone.
just talk to god about it
Christ is king. All that matters.
Anyone who calls themselves a Satanist is either far right or far leftIt's because they're all cringe edgelord social reject freaks who crave attention
>>201718054righto
>>201718022remember the dance remix of this
>>201717924Basically thisAnd also the fact that every vocal celebrity, every influencer, every major corporation pays lip service to mainstream liberalism (which is mostly just slogans and platitudes like BLM, LGBT rights, pro choice, etc, never anything deeply radical) and women follow all this because they are deeply invested in what's trendy, what's popular, what's socially acceptable, what's the conformist opinion
>>201718061He seems like a nice enough bloke that he'd forgive me thinking he and his dad (or whatever he is, the God bloke) never actually existed
>>201718071I spit on SatanRunt that he is
>>201718071mate in real life almost nobody does
>>201718061He's been dead for 2000 years mate and there's not been a single shred of his continued existence since despite apparently making himself known to all mankind without issue every week in old testament times
>>201718081God exists mateConsciousness begets matter
Women? They listen to people on social media Not like me. I am superior. I listen to Jordan Peterson who I first saw on Twitter and Joe Rogan who is on Spotify Top G!!!
>>201718105>God exists matethen he's a twisted piece of shit
oh just fucking pack it in diego
The idea of being monitored by a moral judge who doesn't expect you to be exceptionally moral and built you to fail is a good thing maybe. Having written this I don't know if I agree at all with it.
>>201718105Yeah as I say I don't think God exists but he'd forgive me for that wouldn't he Whole concept seems a bit ridiculous His fault too since he made all of this apparently
>>201718098Christ literally brought salvation to billionsChrist lives on through every Christian and his churchHe never left. Christ is the light. Without him it's back to pagan cults and human sacrificing barbarism. You don't know God till you know what it's like without him
>>201718105>Mind creates matter Retarded nonsense, our reality isn't the mere imagination of some Judaean storm deityYou have no evidence to support your claims. Reality might well be infinitely regressive with no starting point, ponder on that factoid you Abrahamic freak. You cannot disprove it.
/brit/ debates God for the 217,000th time
>>201718150he gave you free will, too bad you never learned how to use it
was it adam or eve who did the first poo?
>>201718127Pakis don't come in tins mate
>>201718158Never claimed it was a vuclan Judaic dietyThere is an omnipotent creator, literally GodHis human sacrifice was through his incarnation in Jesus to save mankind from its sinful nature and bring it to salvation
>>201718156Id prefer the pagan cults Get fucked schizo you're coping There is zero evidence of your god
>>201718168Compare to the other generals which just slag us off 24/7 and I think we're actually the higher-thinkers At least we contemplate the meaning of life
>>201718181Rattled wee freakState of you
>>201718168also the 217,000th time diego lost an argument
>>201718201if your god is real then show me the evidence
>>201718172>he gave you free will, too bad you never learned how to use it I am using it to not consider his entire existence. That's amazing on my part. You meanwhile have your tongue shoved firmly up his gaseous anus
>>201718214ok, close your eyes and open your mouth
>>201718214Your existence is evidenceYou are still thinking of a big bloke in the sky with a robe onTypical Protestant midwit
>>201718244>a big bloke in the sky with a robe onGod is a gas
Diego, unable to define God, slagging others off for their concept of God. What a weirdo!
Not got any respect for Protestants. Scum in my opinion.
>>201718168you're right brucie, idioticlet's debate something elsewas Shepard's decision to destroy the Alpha relay in the Bahak system, resulting in hundreds of thousands batarian deaths, justified?and why is it yes, 100%?
>>201718253>God is a gasyeah behold the word of God>braaaap
>>201718294What's he banging on about :]
>>201718079Sad reallyI always wonder what happens when their distorted view of politics encounters the realityfor example have them walk down an alley way in east london and see if they still think multicultrism is morally 'right'
Reality came to being when the dreamer gave arise to Anu and Padomay whose interplay gave rise to the Et'Ada Amongst whom, the Aedra were tricked by Lorkhan into creating Mundus and Nirn, and so were trapped within the realm they created.Magnus and the Magna Ge escaped that process and left Mundus becoming the Sun and StarsThose Et'Ada who did not partake in creation became the Daedra who interact directly with our worldAll mortals are the descendants of the Aedra, who being trapped in the mortal realm decided to fuck and breed us into being.Disprove that Christfags
>>201718322>>201718322>>201718322
wish I could walk around just wearing a tshirt with my willy peaking out
>>201718335alri
so what's on the agenda for the remainder of this thread now that the previous new's been culled?
janny didn't like that, not one bit
hahahaha ya seething yid
>>201718512>>201718512>>201718512
>>201716601The ideal man
