nonce edition
>>201729486>population density maps are presented as some novel information
>>201729486Paedoph Isles
>>201729680nonce
What the fuck
>>201729486Rorke did a road trip
>>201729486vgh the nonceless lands of North Norfolk
>>201729486All me btw
>>201729680woah............
>>201729486west wales bros we're eating good today
why no pedos in scotland?
>>201731845No children up there Scots sprout from the ground fully grown
>>201731845No internet
>>201731845Where there are people, there are pedos.
>>201732286Only potato.Is rotten.
Rorke grabbing an obscene amount of barbecue sauce packets from McDonalds as reparations for hiring an Indian girl instead of him
>>201732307HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
rorke masturbating with bbq sauce
If everybody on earth was the same age, there would be no paedos. Something to consider.
cant tell if my humor has changed or if /brit/ isn't funny anymore
can't believe people are taking the nonce map seriously lmfaothe source is the fucking news of the world, the worst tabloid of all time
Something about Ginny having 20ibs mole on her ass.That's... deplorable!
Lmao was listening to Graeme Soundss seething at Celtic on talksport for the past 30 mins. Old man is going senile
flinging my infant son onto a railway line for refusing to eat his vegetables
Would shag the bird off Bargain Hunt absolutely rotten, no johnny
need to get some spats
>>201732402Bit daft. He's definitely not going to eat them now is he
>>201732186>Which raping and pillaging tribes are celebrated like you’re implying?the aztecs are celebrated despite being an empire of warlords that played soccer with kids heads and their enemies hating them so much they teamed up with the spanish to destroy themsame with the comanche, mohawk, lakota, basically every native tribehttps://youtu.be/iVqQosyOpg4?t=57
>>201732418Sometimes the thrill is in the learning
Japanese fella picking up some dog poo and putting it in the bin (he doesn't have a dog, it was just on the pavement)
another dayanother job rejection email
Cromwell said he hoped he should make the name of Englishman as great as ever that of a Roman had been.
after red dead, definitely doing sleeping dogs
>>201732409with consent i hope
>>201732447says it all really
the ideal woman
>>201732449wouldn't happen if you stopped applying for jobs like I have
Sir poo barmersYesGet it in there ladsIt's so good to be back
>>201732447Need to have the Japanese football players return. The locker room was cleaner then when the construction workers handed it over.
https://youtu.be/8QgXIFzQi0Y
It's too humid
>>201732556How far they have fallen
>>201732556Right. I've had enough.
>>201732426What happened to you to make you like this?
>>201732556Rorke is typing...
>>201732556*ding ding ding ding*
>>201732556kek
>>201732465What's that?
>>201732556sick of it
have literally never listened to Oasis. couldn't name one song.
>>201732556Satanic
>>201732596>>201732556
>>201732435>aztec Off topic again and not related to the other tribes you mentioned at all besides that has nothing to do with why colonialism is seen unfavourably
>>201732556someone check rorke's blood pressure
>>201732556says it all really doesn't it
>>201732631yes you have. yes you could. be quiet.
>>201732476THICCC
I fixed it didn't I?
>>201732556bet they'll be scratching their heads later wondering why no one wants to watch it
>>201732631pure bollocks
>>201732556rorke status?
>>201732639yes well done you caught the reference
Why is everyone getting so worked up? Don't they know Blur is better than Oasis?
wherever I go, I must also poo
>>201732639>>201732699fuck off newcunt yanks>>>/tv/
rorke assuming anybody other than his ilk care about brown people on the television
>>201732689who's the little black fella in the corner?
nth for the gyaldem
>Americans are now canon in LOTRI feel seen.
>>201732556Not sure if I'm just mentally ill but seeing shit like this causes a visceral reaction in my monke brain. Do normoids not get that?
>>201732732Shaun I reccon
>>201732703Contrarian little twat
>>201732556Does Grommit fuck the dog?
the range rover
Liam is based and stayed true to his rootsNoel is pozzed
Women aren't funny.
Dying for a shite but got people coming to view my flat. Might just have a dump with the door open and say 'Alri' when they have a look in the bathroom.
ok, just listened to Oasis for the first time. typed their name into YouTube and picked the top three songs:>wonderwallnot interesting>dont look back in angerboring>champagne supernovaextra boringi guess the vocals/lyrics are moody and emotional, but the instrumentals do nothing for me. just basic guitar strumming and generic background drums.
breadleys arent funny
I will train in the gym to lift my fatfu
>>201732817qrd on pozzed noel
>>201732813kinomobile
Hosting a workshop on Appreciating Diversity later if anyone wants to get involved?
>>201732817both are 'nobheads
>>201732556Imagine having kids and they come out black
>>201732827just shit
>>201732742never played shadow of colossus
>>201732742Looks like the norf meme
got some sofas being delivered later in the week but I haven't measured up the front door indeed either of the sofas or anythingjust hoping they will all fit through every single doorway and angle. Quite frankly it's a problem for the delivery men to solve and if it's intractable then I'll just be getting my money back
>>201732830just shit bait
>ok, just listened to Oasis for the first time.we share a board with such people
>>201732866Had to pass a bedframe out a window down to mumberg once
selling my ps5 because all games are woke now
>>201732854Oh yes please I love workshops I LOVE WORKSHOPS!!!!!!! AND DIVERSITY TOO!!!!!!!
Can I still have a fag outside?
>>201732866*knocks your door off its hinges**dents your walls**pulls up a corner of your carpet*right, sofa's in, see ya
>>201732886he's baiting you utter mong
>>201732857Or worse: mulatto. Puts a stamp on the forehead of the mother as a race traitor
Need to learn how to not give a fuckFeels hard
>>201732910you can have him wherever you want
>>201732556Wallace and Gromit - BLACKED edish
>>201732891there's fucking zero chance either of these gigantic heavy sofas is getting up the stairs nevermind through the front door lad I've fucked it, big time
>>201732766If you count Gorillaz, then it's Oasis who is the unknown band and you're the contrarian.>>201732777If I'm allowed to quote Malcom Tucker: "one is a semi-talented songwriter and the other one is a loutish prick".
>>201732933it's a art
got the gay porn hat on
>>201732949filtered
watching an episode of traffic cops12 year old black kid with a few 20bags of weedhis dad is gonna be furious
>>201732933grow in to it around age 25
arctic monkeys unironically mog oasis
>song 2 vs wonderwallsong 2 winsneither blur nor oasis have anything good after that. green day is surely better than either.
Like Gorillaz me
Gone for a walkIt's very lightly raining
circumcised opinion
>>201732830it's simple music for normies. it's kind of the point. easy to sing along when you're drunk, with relateable, melancholic lyrics. the actual music is rather straightforward. this was in contrast to grunge music which was popular at the time. oasis was more paired back, more relaxed by comparison.plus there's all the public fued stuff with the bands' members. normies love drama.
>>201732556migh-e bri'ish innit
>>201733007Pull your catheter out
>>201732830That's what Oasis is. "Deep" lyrics and a simple tune. Every teenage dude with a guitar could strum Wonderwall and get a crumb of attention from girls back in the day. Live forever is ok but some Yanks made a cover that sounds better than Liam's whiny voice.
this humidity is doing my nut in bruv
Two new starters at work today: a Muslim and a poof.The former seems like the nicest guy ever so far, the latter I can't be near when he's talking as he has the most profoundly irritating gay voice you can imagine.
>>201733074Prepare a prayer room before the muslim asks
Was far too efficient this morningDone all my work and now I've little to do this afternoon
When do Spice Girls reunite then?
>>201733074Prepare a gayer room before the poof asks
Never ceases to amaze me the lengths normoids go to to argue about which boring derivative and shitty bands are "better"
Biggest Mad Nigga moment I've witnessed in my adult lifeCould have easily become one of the most important figures in 21st century history before he decided to turn around
>>201733098>>201733107bumming and worship in the stationery cupboard only please
the Oasis stuff just doesnt sit well with me. they're more a cultural phenomenon than a musical one. surely we should be celebrating musical artistry and talent, not whatever makes headlines?
>>201733118he was an utter mong in the fact that he called it off and it was obvious he would get assassinatedcrazy to think priggy used to be head of catering at the kremlin before becoming a warlord
>>201733118RIP to a real one
Wallace in the cuck chair watching Wendolene Ramsbottom being double teamed by Feathers McGraw and Preston the cyber dog.
could've sworn I clicked /brit/
>>201733176more like /shit/
Gay man hired by a painting company to strip the walls of wallpaper with his voice.
>>201733148>we should be celebrating The issue is people like you treat the entirely artificial tabloids' and megacorporation news agencies' reporting as if they're the voice of the people instead of just advertising
>>201733148One of the best selling British bands of all time but okay
>>201733148and dredging up a 20 year old band is a sign of cultural stagnation anyway.taylor swift and oasis. yay...
>Timmy timeWhat did they mean by this?
need alan like waterneed turt like waterneed thailad like waterneed 190 like water
>The UK government has provided Tata Steel with £500 million in funding to help the company decarbonize its Welsh site. >In 2021, the UK government provided £100 million in subsidies to support Nissan's plans to build an electric vehicle hub in Sunderland.>£61 million in state aid to support Nissan's Brexit transition>In 2021, the government invested £350 million in the Automotive Transformation Fund (ATF) to support BMW's £600 million investment in electric cars.Why does the government love foreign companies so much?
>>201733176I am British. I opened up an Irish pub in Bucharest. These mongs will pay 6 quid for a pint of Guinness when the local lager sells for 3.
As a high schooler in the late 90's in the US, both Blur and Oasis were one hit wonders.Blur was the 'Woohoo!' band and you probably didn't know the name of the band. Oasis did "Wonderwall" which was a big hit but we didn't know any of their other songs (until Napster came along).Green Day (Basket Case, American Idiot, Boulevard, Wake Me Up, etc) were far bigger.
>>201733233need you out of business sunshine
My arsehole is proper stinging since Saturday, hope I haven’t been Reynard Sinaga’d
>>201733237one big money laundering operation
>>201733118>>201733162isnt the rumor that Putin was threatening his family?which makes it all the more retarded that he didnt protect them
>>201733282?
>>201733246Saw green day live in manchester even though they were already over by american idiot
>>201733241FOSYEG
>>201733296'
Might move to Japan and become a racist
>>201733007pissing it down hereI myself am inside, where it remains dry
>>201733320too late for that
>>201732933I used to not give a fuck and now I do, it's fucked. I feel like a fraud
>>201733241>Local lager that doesnt need to be imported is cheaper than import. Wow thats wildHate that an english pub has to be called "irish" to make it more palatable to JFs
>>201733338Check your roof
Just remembered I need to wash up when I get homeWhy is life so hard?
Tonight's the night that we got the truck. We're going downtown, gonna beat up drunks.Your turn to drive, I'll bring the beer. It's the late, late shift, no one to fear.
Someone did a poo in the bumming room
poo posting is actually good because it makes the homosexuals uncomfortable and increases the chances of them leaving this place
thought i had a shart but it was just a fart
>>201733385they eat da poo poo
i thought homos loved poo though
>>201733385We would want a constant turn over, a churn to keep things fresh in / brit/
>>201733347we need a not giving a fuck philosophy renaissancetoo many fucks have been given recently
A spectre is haunting /brit/ -- the spectre of mihai
>>201733246green day was awfulJFs can't and aren't supposed to understand oasis
eaten my instant noodleswith chopsticks? yes, of courseitadakimasu
do you like going to concerts?there's one i want to go to soon but it's a bit of a drive so im not sure it will be worth it
reminded of that shocker image where a guy is shitting on a baby10+ years since i last saw it and it's burned in my memory
>>201733453Had forgotten that
>>201733452concert for who
>>201733453This one?
>>201733485No the who
>>201733450>eaten>itadakimasufucked it
>>201733452I only like going to smaller showsNot a fan of big venues
my wife's boyfriend beat me up
>>201733074convince the sound muslim to murder the irrritating poof
got my big thick veiny cock out
>>201733500i made that post to out weebsGUARDS! seize him!
why are brits such deviantshttps://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c6p2rvxz3v6o
>>201733450taidama~
>>201733497i dont get ityou win this round swede
>>201733446You should be thankful I've never set foot in the UK. Actually, I deserve a reward for this heroic feat of self-control.
>>201733494No, imagine the video with the man putting a bottle of glass up his bum, but filmed from the side. Same position. The baby is lying on a towel on the floor with his rectum directly above its head.
me cocks shrunk in the wash
feeling a bit stroppy today which is weird because I felt amazing yesterday. maybe its the weather
now this is what i call musichttps://youtu.be/8dZ13EbrsKk
>>201733547https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Who
FUCK the police
ate too much and my tummy is bulging
Are Roshe Runs still the go to trainers? Been out of the fashion game for a bit but need a new pair of something
got the chad alpha male hypno on
jason luv sex arse
>>201733352Irish pub: Good laugh, good timesEnglish pub: Potential hate crimes, Rorke
>3-Year duration 4chan Passes are now available for $45WOWZERS
>>201733657Not a cent sent.
poo sex arse
Rorke drawing a comparison to the Two Minutes Hate from the book Nineteen Eighty Four
190 onamadone
>>201733629You'll want to go over to /fa/ where they will tell you to get Onitsuka Tigers
>>201733589cosmic psywaves are battering the menthol elves on a monday
Had to do a dbs check for the supermarket delivery job I interviewed for last week. Took nearly an hour to do it all. Really takes the piss this modern world.
>>201733681New catch phrase found in the wildIf that makes me racist, so be it
>childminderSounds like a euphemism for retard
get on it suck a tigers
>>201733681>childminderWhat's next, professional air breather?
>>201733691ahhh I see all makes sense now
mumberg was a childminder
>>201733704HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Getting addidas SL72s to show my support for the Munich massacre.
>If that makes me racist, so be it
>>201733755What you wanna reenact it by running away
If that makes me a bender so be it
boss has given me a pay rise despise lowering my position and the company has put a diversity hire in a position they've got 0 experience inpersonally think its great because i have no responsibility now and i can doss about on better pay but its going to be a proper mess that unfolds
knew an indian girl in uni who looked absolutely stunning, but she stank of curry whenever you got close to her
>>201733681Wonder what her actual comments were
gf is developing fatty deposits on her cheeks
>>201733857>Indian girl>looked absolutely stunningno you didn't.
>>201732582>>201732576>>201732621>>201732635>>201732690>>201732749calm down it's just plasticine
>>201733785What's that supposed to mean.
while waiting for the train earlier I observed there were many chinese students queuing for the train to London Eustonalways think they seem interesting and it would be good to get to know them better. They're always well dressed, polite, never fat or obese, and they've come all this way to study in the UK to start their adult lives. Then they get a comfy train ride to London in their little clusters of friends with their suitcases and fly back home to china or wherever and it seems a million miles away from life in the UK. There's so many of them in the UK and they never cause trouble and they contribute billions to UK universities. I dunno I just wish it was easier to get to know them.
>>201733857The issue here is that their food, with oils and herbs, meant for outdoor cooking is done inside. So when they terminate the lease you have the equivalent of an apartment where somone smoked inside. Yellow wallpaper but curry stench intead of nicotine.
>>201733542he's scottish
>>201733904
>>201729801Lol
/brit/ is a state of mindyou may already have it
SORRY meant flat spare the pitchfork
>>201733925what makes you think they want to interact with a weird incel gimp like you?
>supposed to meet my family for dinner>girl said she'd sleep with me if I did her shift tonight>too drunk to do either
Don't feel human anymore
everyone talks about nonces at the bbc but they forgot the bloke who had a dog walking business on the side who got caught fucking them
>>201733925i fucked an chinese internation student for a bitwas always awkward when we left her place and bumped into other chinese students. they'd all start talking to each other in chinese and i'd no idea what was going on. they seem very cliquey, and according to other non-chinese students they're a nuissance in shared kitchens and barely interact with others outside their group.
>>201733939I love curries but that is inconceivably grim
>>201733961thought about joining the royal navy (or RAF) a while backnot eligible on account of my having tried to end my own life. Probably just as well as I'd never have survived being in the forces
>>201733444wish I was a cheeky shit who rolled with everything again, but now every stressor makes me wrile internally, I lost myself esteem and school status. now I'm constantly on uneven ground, both giving a fuck and laughing off shit thst threatens my security. need to sort my shit out while I still can
Women sometimes ask me the "are you a serial killer?" question before I bring them over, but do they ever expect that to actually be useful? Surely serial killers would just laugh off the question the same way an innocent person would
>>201733947B-B-B-BASED
>>201733985State of you
>>201733444Agreed Stirner was right
>>201733673Would use that phrase more if we had cents here. Instead, we have pennies
>>201734029Alri Gareth Gates
>>201734009bit confused about my brit lore are you from lancashire and are you also the little su fella with the little japanese mail order gf
>>201733939I've heard this too many times and from too many different nations for it to be made up
>>201733985>she'd sleep with me if I did her shiftdoubt.jpg
Reckon if I have a nap I’ll wake up with a sudden motivation to sort my life out that I’ve never had before.Worth a shot
>>201733978I mean based on my experiences they most assuredly do not want to interact with me.>>201734003>cliquey>keep to themselves>nuisance in shared kitchensThis is my experience of them also. Lad I knew from school had a chinese fella in his flatshare and said he was a nutter. Like they were genuinely afraid he would go postal at some point. He never did of course, was likely just shy and overawed living thousands of miles from home.
>>201733987The Chameleons wrote a song about that. Maybe it will make you feel better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RU0G0IWe4H8
>>201734053Suelad is actually in the RAF. I just mentioned thinking about joining at one point, but didn't.No I am not from lancashire.
>>201734009I got as far as the medical test to be a RN officer to find out my eyesight wasn't good enough, absolutely gutted I was
>>201734046mong
registered nonce officer
>>201734026You got autism or something lad? They want you to say some cringey shit like “no but I can still tie you up if you want”
>>201733947>her reaction when the cronem passes her up once
>>201733947Very based. Any news on the labour councillor who demanded peoples throats be cut?
Is there any drama going at your work, school/uni, friend group, etc?Share the deets.
>>201734116You should watch your words around me you meatbag
>>201734011I've reached a state of affairs where people think I'm joking when I'm being serious and serious when I'm joking.
>>201734097it's stupid that they reject people for shite like this. Then they'll release figures complaining there aren't enough applicants the main gripe from people seems to be that applications take like 6-12 months to be processed. Most wagies don't have sort of time to be idling around and have long-since gone on to get jobs by the time their papers are processed
>>201734118Seek help before your hurt yourself or someone else
>>201734097How bad is your eyesight?
worried my sofas won't fit
>>201733925It is only a rich chinese family that has the money to send their kids away. The chinese goverenment has a hook on them most likely. Which means that the kids DONT know that they are designated spies until the favour is called in. They are using the family being in china as a threat when the time is due.Remember, All chinese people all over the world are considered property, rather pawns, of the state.
>>201734231Bad enough that he can stand to look at your face
>>201734135nah
>>201734146Yeah something like that should work
>>201734190Imagine being the egg. Think about it.
>>201734236I'm gonna fit my fist sofa up your arse
>>201734244Except those that apply for foreign citizenship and then are forced to abandon their Chinese one. Imagine needing a visa to go visit your nan.
>>201734267How can a worm be an egg?
>>201734189sounds eexhausting
greenday - turning pointthe song that featured on everyones US graduation videos in the mid 2000s
can't you just get laser eye surgery if your eyesight is too dodgy to join the RAF?
>>201734252Doesn't make any sense
>>201734231I'm quite short sighted, but I wear contacts. I even asked at the beginning of the process if short-sightedness would be a problem but they were more concerned about tattoos, like I had to declare if I had any and note where they were on an outline of a human body, that was the priority apparently
>>201734300You're telling me there's surgery to give you laser eyes?
>>201734190>>201734267
>>201734287Its not as hard as you think....
>>201734300you know that costs thousands of pounds right
Very nearly shit myself there lads. Tried to squeeze out a fart and it became very obvious very quickly that it was pure liquid shite coming out instead. Had to run to the loo and diarrhoea all over the place. Been wiping for about 15 minutes and it's still showing on the toilet roll. It's fucking yellow.
on the shitter
>>201734328No wonder no one is joining the navy/army/etc. in our countries
laser eye surgery should be on the nhs
>>201734349might be worth it, not all of us are povvos
>>201734369specky dweeb
British people be like "my favourite ice cream is biscuits and cream!"
>>201734295It is. Imagine getting a reply such as "oh, you're so silly" when saying you want to get run over by a trolley.
I just think it would be interesting to know these chinese uni students
>>201734397um actually my favourite is rum and raisin x
>>201734400What if I push a lever to make that trolley run over two people instead?
>>201734190girl with the black hair near the end goes for a proper snog
>>201734424grim
>>201734417Offer them free English lessons. Tell them you'll explain expressions such as "the proof is in the pudding". >>201734425I'd feel cheated.
>>201734400Why do you do this every day?What happened to you as a child to make you this way?
>>201734397macadamia brittle for me x
>>201734400just break free of it all lad, not off yourself of course. I say that but I don't know how to break free
>>201734446wrong
Is anything ever going to happen?
>>201733925>>201734003Chinese students are very cliquey. At uni I got to know a few Chinese students quite well. A girl I was seeing called Viola. She had a Chinese name I couldn't spell but in China they get assigned an 'English' name in English classes. And her friend 'Morning'. I would always say "Good morning, Morning" and have a little chuckle to myself. They were nice but really difficult to get to know and it was uncomfortable when any of their Chinese clique were around because they would exclusively speak Chinese and i'd stand around smiling like a moron. One time at this Chinese mixer I went along and ended up basically sat on my own the whole evening and nobody spoke to me. The Chinese lads were especially difficult to get to know. I made one friend called 'Michael' whose real name was Beidi. He preferred to go by Michael or Mike and we had this do-gooder lecturer who insisted on calling him by his Chinese name in an attempt to be respectful but was actually really disrespectful. Mike asked me why the lecturer insisted on using his Chinese name (mispronounced) and I had to try and explain Western Liberalism to him. There were quite a few funny situations I had with the Chinese but they were nice people. I wish i'd kept in touch with them but I left Uni and they went back to China and we lost touch.
>>201734478People tell me I'm too idealistic. >>201734509I have been thinking of moving away from it all. But who would have me? West Europe is already full.
>>201734474>the proof is in the puddingused this lately when someone was trying to excuse away their bullshit
Chances of me reading that Chronicus Virginicus? Slim to none.
i'm a classical liberal
>>201734561> they went back to ChinaLet those filthy rich ccp cockroaches go back and stick to their country till they fucking dieFucking hate ccp chiggers
>>201734627no one asked
>>201734597A Canadian was trying to convince us it meant the same thing as "self-evident" a few days ago on /lang/. Not one ESL believed his bullshit.
>Good morning, Morning
new>>201732160>>201732160
>>201734652>>201734652>>201734652
>>201734597Cope wyboi
>>201734645that's what it means tho lmao
I'd love to stay and chat but I need to get going. See you lads in another /brit/.
>>201734672The pudding one means you won't know until you try. Self-evident means it's obvious just by looking at it/the situation, no need for trying.
>>201734627Well i've only had good experiences with Chinese. Can't say the same about Koreans. Had 2 Korean exchange students in my class at school. They were a few years older than us. 1 was chill and really good at rugby on account of him being about 16 and the rest of us were 12. The other was a right nasty bastard.
>>201734676proof in the pudding for me is a general term for "it appears as it is"
>>201734789>I'm an idiotcool, but nobody askedthe full phrase is "the proof of the pudding is in the eating", it means the truth will be revealed when it comes
>>201734878already eat tho
