halloween edish
doing a monstrous poo
Went on a date that last lasted 40 minutes >So anon, do you have any pets?>Yeah I've got a cat>I'm incredibly allergic to cats...finished my beer and headed out
>>204061603Jesus Christ buddy, give us some warning before posting such a spooky gif will ya?
Country roads, take me home, to the place, I belong >The place I belong in question
>>204061651catberg cockblocked you
>>204061651sounds like she was allergic to pussies
>>204061651get a pic of the cat on your profile lad. solves the problem before it's a problem plus birds love that stuff
So you guys are doing nofap November, right?
>>204061709I already mentioned I had a cat in my profile thougheverst'veSimply negligence on her part
not even being funny but haven't pooed for 3 days and don't really feel like itmight have to go just force one out
>>204061720What exactly is your diet mate
>>204061720soapy finger up the bumhole lad it'll come out in no time
>>204061711was that today
>>204061730just been eating steak, eggs, chicken veges and coffeeeven got a bit drunk last night and still not even a hangover poo
>>204061738Sounds like you've a lot of experience fingering your bum, lad
My gig going days may finally be over. Everything sells out too quick now (and later gets resold for triple the price).
>>204061749yh
>>204061747I fear the monster brewing in your bowels
>>204061759Giving up the gig are you?
need to stop reading bbc news every morning it's all woke shite
>>204061738won't the soap burn
going to attempt a poo now lads wish me luck
>>204061774The gig is up.
Not bad for a 4channer if I do say so meself.
>>204061759gigs are rubbish just stay inside
>>204061789praying for you
>>204061796Used to love a good moshpit me. I'm probably getting too old for it anyway, as they say.
>>204061796Gigs aren't rubbish they're musical performances, think you may have your definitions mixed up good sir
>>204061711already failed
microwaving last nights leftover poo
>yeah i love pushing and shoving strangers in a crowd never understood why anyone would like this
>>204061822standing there listening to music is dull you need drugs and alcohol to enjoy it
all too bloody loud for me cant hear what anyones saying!
>>204061691Or saved him. If she's too weak to handle a cat then would you want anything to do with her? Here's my lad from moments ago
On Brisbane airport train aye
>>204061990adolf kitler
>>204061990post pennywise gf
>>204061935
>>204061990>>204061994>>204062000JUST SAW WHAT KALI ROSES LOOK LIKE IN 2024 !THE WALL IS NOT A MEMEhttps://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1730450281646645.webm
getting a new shaft for my cock
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5W7ocbEP-1E
>>204062036Thanks French faggot for giving me an unrelated (you), thought someone had something to genuinely say but no it's just Pierre having an episode
>>204061990lol whats up with himwait a minute theres a second one right there spooky stuff did you not see that one
>>204062066WATCH THE WEBM !!!!
spammers and bad posters have a special circle of hell waiting for them
>>204062075No.
>>204062075lol he looks like he got his ass beat post the video of that instead, hate this obnoxious cunt
>>204062066it's the priscilla skizohis life is a never ending episode
>>204061935That's because you haven't tried it. ;)
>>204061711It's November?
pinch and a punch for first of the month
Minority Report is REAL. We already have flying drones cameras. Face ID scan WILL be the only way to commute. You WILL be arrested for future crimes you didn’t commit.
>>204061759don't like the crowds of a gig and they're really loud
>>204061935>>204061968>>204062191bet you cunts wear those autism earmuff things whenever you leave the house
a man who likes or owns cats is not a man at all, women can sense a cat man from a mile off
>>204062210bizarre post
>30 whole days of november grimnessit’s over
>>204062189>You WILL be arrested for future crimes you didn’t commit.for wrongthink
>>204062222not in the slightest if you take two seconds to think about it
>>204062223November ain’t that bad, I’m a celeb is on at least. January and February are the real awful months
>>204062233it is because i have never seen someone who takes "autism earmuff things" outside
I’m arresting you for the future murder of Sarah Marks
>>204062257you ought to get out more then
*enters /brit/*
>>204062276too loud out there
>>204062291trump's favourite pokémon
gay if you wouldn’t
no poo november
alri
Love the stench of me bellend when I pull the skin back
Autumn is lovely time and to think we have almost 2 more months of it
>>204062362dare you to scoop a bit of that up on a corn chip and eat it like salsa
>>204062372winter without snow is just autumn
>>204062325I will post the poo
>>204062325so true
no RuneScape november
>>204062410I wouldn't recommend she attempt opening that bottle with her teeth
Coffeestein has gutberg on the ropes
>>204062210yes lol i often wear earphones with nothing playingif its very loud out ill play music too loud for me to hear any of it
>>204062420Thanks any other Top Tips?
Friday night and I'm sat on the couch
>>204062423do you also have a favourite spoon
>>204062451>Friday nightu in the future or summat
>>204062446Milk is good for clearing out mace>Bur why would I need to kno-*Sprays you*
>>204062462YesI'm afraid you don't make it
>>204062457i have a favourite spoon set at my parents house but most sufficiently round ones are good enough for me
>>204062473thought so matey I’m just starting work and feel like it’s my time x
>>204062475You eating with square spoons?
mmhmm
fobbed off the fwb now I have no one to talk to
>>204062451Home Alone 3, but this time it's an adult and NOT a comedy
>>204062482some are irritatingly pointed and i dont like those as much
>>204062451ktim but smelly bedroom
>>204062493Bro painted half his canvas black what a lazy cunt
>>204062493lazy nigga only did half a painting
>>204062493woah so freaking liminalsauce... upvoted my friendo!!
another morning, another stain on my wank wall. cursed with a willy that shoots thick ropes of cum for meters
>>204062494So I guess this guy>>204062502Is "Home alone 2"Hahahah
>>204062520https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IC76o_lhFw
I'm a handsome, well-off young manI shouldn't have trouble finding a partner
>>204062551it’s really not that hard pal, billions of people have done it
>>204062569>it’s really not that hard palWords you never want to hear in bed
>>204062551We live in the looks match age. It’s over unless you settle for a 4/10
>>204062590Well then I'm using my "match" to start a fire
i know a pinot grigio with two ice cubes hates to see diego coming
>>204062608ay YO this nigga orange as hell
10s of billions of humans have procreated, if you’re a virgin you’re such a statistical anomaly you wouldn’t be disregarded by any study. The term ‘every human has sex’ is so scientifically true it’s more accurate than saying the sun will rise tomorrow
First day of Whitby goth weekend, ladsGoing with my pal tomorrowGonna get pissed and try chatting to goth cuties (they'll reject me)
What’s the success rate of an Indian man on a dating app?
Literally how can you be an incel in this country when there are countless young women from China wandering around London on their own every single day just waiting for a nice young white man to bump into them in a coffee shop
>>204062661goodi like standing out from the crowd
>>204062683>What’s the success rate of an Indian man [...]lad...
>>204062661Not being a virgin doesn't mean you've procreated thoughever
>>204062669can I come?
an aussie is in a coma and his brit friend found dead in a tahi hotel room, both boxers. what happened there then, ladyboys involved or nah
>>204062719memes aside if you live in the area and have friends it's worth going to, great atmosphereexpensive though
>>204062722bit of friendly sparring gone wrong
australians be likeNAAAAUR
Until the dayI touch the skyYouYou going to touch the sky
i am literally simply never ever ever going to have sexcapiche?
life tip: scaffolders are the nuttiest of all the trades, and usually full of coke, roids, or both. they have access to heavy metal poles. definitely don't fight them.
>>204062722I'm going to guess they bought a bag of sniff and it turned out to be smack
knob in my mouthknob up my arseknob in my armpit
>>204062782you are a VERY rare human in history, id like to touch you to say I’ve touched a statistically impossible man
>>204062792I've got a heavy pole right here sunshine
>>204062761it's mad how aussies have the gall to say brits talk weirdly when their accent is basically a south-east english accen that's exaggerated to a comical extent
>>204062782why not?
>>204062792My mate's a scaffolder, he's off the bag now but they used to nail speed and frosty jacks bottles in the yard after shifts during corona
>>204062792>hey have access to heavy metal polesAnd electricians have access to their nail brushes
>>204062816mentally ill, small willy, no experience.i'm 27 now so i've 100% accepted and embraced my virginityit's just who i am
the North West of GB had 63mm of rain last week
Had Mcdonalds last night for the first time in a while and genuinely had to make myself sick it back up again, how can people eat this stuff all the time? It literally just sits in your stomach not digesting all evening.
>>204062799virus terrorist spreading disease through door knobsbet you're a chinaman
>>204062858>how can people eat this stuff all the time? It literally just sits in your stomach not digesting all evening.because normgroids are subhuman cattle
>>204062840how small?
>>204062858How fucking delicate are you mate
>>204062858You're very gay
>>20406286816 cm non bone pressed but only 11.5cm in girthit's so think a woman literally wouldn't even feel it inside her
>>204062870I’m a sensitive flower in a cold and uncaring world
>>204062858i havent had it in about 2 years, still regularly have kfc though, dont think ill ever buy maccas again the quarter pounder makes me feel sick and thats the only burger i eat at maccas
im fucking gay and my dick is small
love anime slutshate 3DPD whores
In the week ending 18 October 2024 (Week 42), 10,785 deaths were registered in England and Wales (including non-residents)
>>204062879Youre insane, your will is almost the exact same as mine and I’ve slept with 80 girls. I think it’s your head that is the problem
>>204062881*rapes you*youre ready for the harsh realities of the world now
>>204062812A mate once convinced me to go with him to watch a Villa match, although we lived about 100 miles away. As we were standing in a pub in Brum, a Villa fan heard us speaking and asked where we were from. We replied that we were from Berkshire. He then said "BURKSHOYA?! Foony accent you have in BURKSHOYA". Made my day that.
>>204062913why are normies such evil lying psychopahts? are you trying to trick me into attmepting to have sex with my pencil cock? fuck offguarantee your willard is at least 15cm girth
>>204062897how small
>>204062936mighty 5 incher
>>204062816Wow this video makes me want to cry
bought a vampire costume for my downie cousin so he can be Count Spackula
>>204062816that looks so much like my gf it’s almost scary
>>204062866>normgroidsAh yes you aren't normal because uh yeah nothing
>>204062959lol are you a top? if not then it shouldnt matter
>>204062978Fuck off
>>204062978
>>204062840get a hold of yourself
Cracking body and a nice face
>>204063001don’t be rude, I speak no lies lol
>>204063006This looks so much like my daughter wow
>>204062841>63mmktim
Next poster is Donald TrumpLet's see what he has to say
>>204063033I don't like fat people
>>204063057>>204063057Fat people LOVE § YOU
don't understand tiktok danceswhy are they dancing
>>204063033I’m talking about those BASED negroes!
don’t like fat people either don’t like the smell and the audacity to flaunt their laziness and gluttony, put them in camps
>>204063090i think they should get taxed more since theyre a bigger burden on the health system
>>204063111And charged more to get on aeroplanes. They’ll charge me for exceeding the suitcase weight limit by one KG what about the monster who weighs double of me?
>>204063090no need for camps when ozempic exists
>>204063079constant pointless movement is how you get and keep the attention of actual, literal toddlers
>>204063111What about smokers
shitting my bum off
>On 24 January 2021, Batool told Saboohi that Sharif had “beat Sara up like crazy” and “went ballistic” with her.>Describing another incident on 8 May 2021, in a series of messages Batool wrote: “Urfan is going crazy beating Sara up. I’m kind of having a panic attack … He’s literally [going] to break her arm or leg, I have no idea what to do … I’m in the other room, he’s locked us out, he’s not opening the door.”>Saboohi said “don’t worry” and told her sister to read a verse from the Qur’an.>On 10 February 2022, she said Sharif had beaten Sara at 1.30am in the morning when the girl was asleep “because of the bad behaviour she was doing for a while, he randomly got angry”.>Two days later, Batool said he had beaten Sara again, to which her sister replied that she should “just ignore him man, just put Qur’an on”.Get the Qur’an on de lidssss
ozempic is just gastro surgery minus the surgeryweight will drop but the eating won't change and the weight comes back
>>204063124they should also get higher water bills because of their massive poos must take at least 3 flushes to go down and then the sewerage system must take a bigger hit from it too
>>204063111what about people with tattoos since they're more likely to get cancer
>>204063169>Surgery minus the surgeryWow!
>>204063141they pay a giant tax on each pack of their deathsticks herefat person equivalent would be adding a tax to pop or fast food
>>204063166>Batool>Saboohi>Urfanis this our response to yanks?
>>204063180literally just flushed my toilet for the second time in a row after a gigapoo before seeing this post kek
>>204063169Ozempic literally makes you eat less. Yeah fatties will probably need to stay on it their whole lives but 90% of fatties never lose weight anyway naturally so it’s better that than being fat forever.
>>204063181>>204063141malding fatties
>>204063169damn if only there was a way to just NOT eat heaps of shit
Here the sun don't riseNe
>>204063218im thinner than your mums cock m8
>>204063169you just medicate forever which is the pharma business model anyway.
absolutely done by dhl and dpd on the same day
It’s so easy to lose weight. I cut 10kg earlier this year by just eating less and walking more. Fats are just indisciplined humans
>>204063266rorke's house
Fatsos are the ones who get buttblasted over Ozempic the most, they hate seeing former fatties get effortlessly thinner quickly. It especially enrages the povvo fatties who can’t afford Ozempic
>>204063250>t. healthy young white man with good metablismbasically the boomer of weight loss
People on the internet will find a way to hate anything
anyone else tortured by shameful memories?
>>204063203>Hunter>Fisher>TrapperIs "Gatherer" going to be the gen alpha "Stacey"?
>>204063304this is cope
Almost Christmas lads
>>204063329No it's not Be quiet
>>204063296they just get wagovy which doesn't require the beetus in order to be covered by insurance
>>20406325010kg over what period
>>204063329forgetting the most important holiday
Liam Payne was too good for this world
>>204063342Um..Yes it isWill be in Advent before you know it!
It's actually mad how physically incapable most people are. Imagine being under 40 and not being able to run a mile, do a pullup/more than 10 pressups, deadllift their bodyweight or even squat properly at all. That's most people.We wonder why the country's so unproductive when the majority of even the young, 'healthy' people are functionally disabled
heh...
74% of somalians in the UK live in social housing, holy grimoli
>>204063388Wasted effort really isn't it, no one needa to do any of those things
>>204063388Yeah?
>>204063362Over 3 months or so, strict 300 calorie deficit to reduce muscle mass loss as much as possible
>The results indicated that even if every chimp in the world was enlisted and able to type at a pace of one key per second until the end of the universe, they wouldn't even come close to typing out the Bard's works.>There would be a 5% chance that a single chimp would successfully type the word "bananas" in its own lifetime. And the probability of one chimp constructing a random sentence - such as "I chimp, therefore I am" - comes in at one in 10 million billion billion, the research indicates.
bum
>>204063166Need more of this culture imported here pronto
>>204063436Karl was right then
>>204063437rump
>>204063417Lmao how much of a midget are you that a 300cal deficit plus a bit of walking makes you lose 10kg in 3 months
>>204063436yet VERY likely to gnaw off a journalist's face within minutes
>>204063388>run a mileDefinitely, everyone should be able to do this, very basic and simple level of fitness>do a pullup/more than 10 pressupsAnd this>deadllift their bodyweightDepends on number or reps>or even squat properly at allNah
>>204063462I’m 5’10 but you do understand a 300 calorie deficit with exercise (bit of walking he says - not to mention daily lifting) will have anyone losing weight no matter their maintenance cals?
>>204063462you are retarded
>>204063405how many times a day do you think he regrets what he's done
>>204063388I can just pay an immigrant to do all thise things
>>204063320don't wanna talk about it
>>204063410If you can't do any of those things thoughever it indicates you're seriously lacking in physical ability. People who are weak and/or unfit are mentally slower, more likely to get injured and are almost certainly whinging malingerers when they need to get something done
mad how peng this is
>>204063450karl was right about a lot of things but wasn't good with wordsnot knowing if you were the clone or not made complete sense but ricky just laughed him down
to walk to or drive to woolies, im too lazy to even make that decision
>>204063388The average person can't even squat down all the way while keeping their feet flat on the floorThey can't even touch their fucking toes while keeping their legs straight
flat inspection in an hour lads cant wait to show off my grim little cave thats a complete state as always
>>204063543the amount of times Ricky exposed himself as a dimwit, such quotes as “there would have been some crossover with cave men and dinosaurs”
Just done a poo so large it curled up the u bend and still reached the water line
>>204063507>(bit of walking he says - not to mention daily lifting)Well that's what you said originally, fuckwit>but you do understand a 300 calorie deficit with exercise (bit of walking he says - not to mention daily lifting) will have anyone losing weight no matter their maintenance cals?Obviously
>>204063507NTA but 1kg of fat is about 7000 kcal. A 300 kcal deficit over three months is like 4kg of weight loss in ideal circumstances.
>Work with a skinnyfat bloke complaining about his belly getting bigger>Ask him if he exercises>He looks confused and says no>Tell him why not go for a few runs (running is great for people who don't work out much as you make very fast progress initially)>Pulls a face at meSome people just cannot be helped
>>204063541based slag strand enjoyer
>>204063540>If you can't do any of those things thoughever it indicates you're seriously lacking in physical ability.Eh? Indicates how? How does not doing an activity no one needs ro do indicate anything? Are you doing pushups in the queue at Sainsbury's? Doing pullups to get into bed?
>>204063571Factor in daily weight lifting and 8-10k steps a day. Scales aren’t lying to me lad.
>>204063541
>>204063541Leave it on X next time, yeah?
>>204063436>until the end of the universethe hypothetical is for infinite time I thought
>>204063598those increase your TDEEI suppose you just don't understand the word "deficit".
>>204063568I would smack you up you little rat
>>204063597>Doing pullups to get into bed?sounds like he might be considering 300kcal deficit makes weight drop off lmao
>>204063541This image could literally be my gf from this angle
>>204063632I’m sure your cock understands the word ‘deficit’ you virgin slug
Might head to the gay sauna tonight lads 6pm on a friday is usually fairly busy
>>204063597Because not being able to do even a basic level of movement shows physical incapability. If you can't lift your body using the largest muscles in your upper body just one time then you're physically dysfunctional. A pullup is a basic movement that a healthy human should be able to do without much difficulty.
>>204063647Same.. maybe we have the same gf
Can we stop the NTA gimmick it absolutely reeks of Reddit
it's giving reddit
>If you give a monkey INFINITE time it will do "x">"Actually we calculated it and even if they had billions of years..."are mathematicians retards?
neighbours catberg having a stroll through my garden
one meeting at 11 and one at 2 and then I can give you my full attention /brit/ :)
>>204063684We do not live in the jungleNone of these movements are necessary
Might move to Hitchin
>>204062493Me on the left
>>204063754get it pspspspsps'd
>>204063754They can not be containedThey are not like dogs you see
>>204063636You have no choice but to smack up you grotty little manlet
ate like a pig yesterday so I'm going to go on a long walk today and not eat anything until dinner
my city centre in Cities Skylines 2 is 3.75km2 and has a population over 140k, yet has no traffic because everyone rides the subway everywhere for free
>>204063785hehehopened the window and did this and he stopped and meowed at me :D
>>204062984i'm not normal because i'm stupendously handsome and based
>>204063810>gridsnoozefest, honk shoo honk shoo
>>204063684People should be able to get benefits for it then
>>204063734It's a slow news day, I presume.
>>204063805smack your mums flabby arse and then dig your dead nan little virgin
>>204063767The only way you can actually interact with the world is using your body. A healthy, strong man is the master of his enviroment while the fat, weak man is the victim of it.
>>204063817good lad
Matchmade
>>204063852That’s all well and good mate but some of us can’t be arsed
>got to make a phone call and my mummy isn't here to help me through it
mr gilbert, you seem an intelligent man
>We do not live in the jungle>None of these movements are necessary
>>204063767Nigga thinks he’s Tarzan lmao
>>204063852Just because you arbitrarily chose to make the gym one of you environments, doesn't make the movements you do there necessaryCan I walk? Can I lift small objects? Can I cook, can I clean? Can I type? Can I talk? Can I shag your mum? Yes. I'm the master of the modern environment
you can’t be racist as an incel, you’re not even doing the bare minimum by finding a women and continuing our race
women owe me sex
33 years old today no gf no job no friends and will not be alive for 34 thanks and goodbye
absolute fucking mess lads can’t focus on anything every moment of fucking silence and loneliness is a reminder that I’ve lost her thinki I’ve got a concussion now to add to everything I’m gonna get fired
If you wanna dance, this is our chance...If you wanna dance, let's take a chance.
>>204063984There's plenty more fish in the sea
>>204063984she’s probably getting fucked into a sweat mess as we speak, women move on emotionally months before it ends
we on NNN then lads?
>>204063978Happy Birthday la >>204063984More fishes la
>>204063984don't worry mate you'll be alright in a few weeks
James O' Brien and a Pret latte
Pinch punch first of the month no return no black magic
>>204064024no I fucking won’t it’s been a few weeks really already and it’s getting worse every dayit hasnt even really started yet
>>204064008wanking but on month 2 of no porn
>>204064042why did she leave
>>204064008no, i have already nutted
>>204064056how can you do no porn while being on 4chan?
>>204063993Jiggy jump to the beat, keep bouncing.30 seconds and counting.Hot one... this choice critical,Situation is difficult.My calibre won't allow me to rhyme on a level where you peoplecan hear me, see me.Guess I know you wanna be me.In the meantime, bounce to the beat, see...
>>204063978happy birthday anon
>>204063941>can I walkNot very far, clearly>lift small objectsWhy deliberately limit yourself to only being able to lift small objects?>can I talkYou can, but if someone stronger tells you to shut up there's nothing you can do about it>shag your mumMy mum would end up pegging you because you're a weak little bitch
wish i could get pegged by anon's mum
>>204063978You could get a gf, a job, friends, and still not be happy and want to off yourself. Your problem in mennal elves urinocally.
>Just because you arbitrarily chose to make the gym one of you environments, doesn't make the movements you do there necessary>Can I walk? Can I lift small objects? Can I cook, can I clean? Can I type? Can I talk? Can I shag your mum? Yes. I'm the master of the modern environment
Weekend means footy, that makes me happy
>>204064113>>204064113>>204064113
>>204063810post subway map
non-heathermong edition>>204064414>>204064414>>204064414
