Sir Reddit Poster edition
what lie should I say to work colleagues when they ask me what I'm doing for NYE
poo smells lmaooooooo
valid
>>205704237quiet one with a few mates
>>205704269okay what lie should I say when they ask about those few mates
olivier salad subedish
farts stink of eggs
Bought a nice bible with gilded edges instead of a cheaper hardcover since I figured I'm going to keep it a long time and learn about it a lot, but I'm scared to read it in public incase I get harassed by nu-athiests or stabbed by muslims so will be using my phone like a virgin
>>205704281what would they ask
>Mother, 31, played games on her mobile phone while her unattended seven-month-old son drowned in the bath, court told
>>205704326who are my mates
>>205704340nobody asks that
rorke doing an irish jig
>>205704376What if they do and I look stupid
>>205704398i imagine you already do look stupid to people
Thoughts on dining out on christmas day out with family at 75 quid per person?
>>205704322>yhe binble
>>205704211
>>205704422very rude
Rorke doing a fortnite dance in his stinking bedroom when mum says its burgers for tea
Anyone want to play some marvel rivals
leftypol kissing his dad on the lips
>>205704427Must be well fancy at the price, if it's not, you're being ripped off.
>>205704481no
playing as shy guy in mario kart x
>>205704504why
Timmy seeing da cronem holding hands with Katy on da bus and scolding his grandpa in his head for fighting for thisat least we ain’t speakin german lmao x
that guy laughing in the audience at 1:46https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yg7HfN0IM5U
>>205704266Finnegan's Sneed
>>205704515he's cute x
>Bought a nice bible with gilded edges instead of a cheaper hardcover since I figured I'm going to keep it a long time and learn about it a lot, but I'm scared to read it in public incase I get harassed by nu-athiests or stabbed by muslims so will be using my phone like a virgin
>>205704246spaki melty
some stiff upper lip on rorke, chipper enough for a jolly Fortnite dance while still living in his childhood bedroom
get them posted
>>205704546so are u x
>>205704551This is me, I do this
Rorke reading his gilded bible outside a phone repair shop in Southend-on-Sea
>>205704545Haha
>>205704427For 75 a pop you'll be sharing your Christmas day with scrotes who've saved up for it and think they're getting some sort of fine dining experience. If you must go out for dinner then pick somewhere suitably priced to keep the riffraff away.
>>205704529HAHAHAHAHAHA
>>205704496the christmas menu
>>205704569
reading any fancy hardback in public is cringe and pseud
>>205704571anon... :3
>>205704529Funny
My christmas day plans:Wake up hungoverhave a wanksit in misery alone (family gone, no friends)reheat the KFC slop I ordered last night in anticipation of everything being closeddrink the boozesmoke the ciggiescryshitpost herethink about life
>>205704671X:3
>>205704670that's why I only use premium supple goatskin. the antipseud.
>>205704640Looks pretty bog standard like any halfway decent pub will serve, not remotely worth £75, maybe £50 max.
>>205704694Something needs to change.
>>205704694stop the booze before it's too late
>>205704640don't understand what those numbers mean
>>205704694ktim
rorke going to toby carvery for christmas dinner
>>205704736allergens, they will be listed at the bottom of the menu, it's a legal requirement nowadays i believe, or at least industry standard
Me? Finished with picrel (read 24 books this year)You?Laughing at poo jokes while you wank each other off (0 books read this year)In all likelihood ive read more than the entire thread combined. Get fucked losers.
>>205704798Piss of schizo
Hedging a clue
>>205704529Lol done em
>In all likelihood ive read more than the entire thread combined. Get fucked losers.
leftypol tucking in to a ladleful of goat head broth at the mosque instead of christmas dinner with the family
>>205704798An entire textbook of bullshit, crazy
The tripfaggot's talking to himself
Professor X but he makes women cum so all the students call him Professor Sex
rorke's da getting too drunk and talking about blacks again at christmas dinner in front of rorke's leftypol brother
>Israel about to make peace with the Palestinians>The Ukraine about to surrender>Mass immigration still increasingWWIII has been prevented and immigrants then will not be deported
>>205704867It would be rather nice spending christmas with a cute muslima to call my own, especially if she embraces christmas over her own holiday
>>205705052
thinking about skibidi biden
Rorke is finished
>>205704992All black presumably
back when big brother was good https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBAx9EBBDCU
There was a sign that sounded like Curacao and i also knew it was by the sea. Could have gotten closer but idk, i didnt want to go for an island for some reason.
>>205705183Asf
>>205705251leftypols da
any peng gay porn man in
>>205705235>There was a sign that sounded likehuh????!???
just shaved my head
Would love a dominos but I've no money until friday
>>205705257Got out of bed just now and did the biggest sloppiest poo of this month
might try popeyes, might try taco bell, probably won't
Rorke ringing the general manager of Wimpy Birkenhead to book in a table for Christmas Day
just installed arch linux on my thinkpad and now I want to get fucked and wear dresses
>>205705357Love the popeyes chicken burger
Any Bruces ITT explain 'Eshays' to me? Thinking of reinventing myself in the new year
>>205705278nah I'm straight today
I want to move to Australia
>>205705381ktim, except the last bit
The new 'eitchhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=an6hzCYSvEg
>>205705417so you just want to get fucked without wearing dresses?
>>205705417
>>205704322What version?
>>205705440um
>>205705175Zero
business idea: /brit/ the musical
>>205705454spaki melty!
*stand on top of my desk*I am Spaki!
dtfic reminds me of /tv/'s acronym from a while back DFC - delicious flat chest
at this point in the history of /brit/ it'd be fair to say that canadian and US flags are a net negative to the thread and there would be no drawback in adding them to the country filter
*groovily*yeah, baby!
>>205705563Immigration is not an issue.
>>205705595spaki melty!
>>205705675Spaki!
Sir Steer Calmer
I'M SPAKTIKUS
NEW>>205705748>>205705748
Sir Mind Raper
ever had a shit and a wank at the same time?
>>205705286You know what i meant mate.
>>205705595>>205705691>>205705705>>205705730>>205705762maltester mong meltdown
*surreptitiously googles "naked lady"*
>>205705768
you're twisting my melon rorke
>>205705540Gold digging roasties? Who needs them?
Had a flashback to being 10 years old and my dad telling me off for searching "mouth sex" and "hand sex" on google
>>205705768nah but when I was experimenting with using a vibrator up my butt I got cocky because my asshole was always clean and the vibrator always came out clean so I had a shit before I got started one time and I guess all the poop hadn't come out and when I pull it out it had a little jimmy neutron shit swirl on top
Everyone's at the darts i assume.That is, all the shaggers.
Is the new CoD worth it lads?
I didn't realise that porn was a taboo thing to watch when I was young, so when I was ~10 I use to watch porn full-volume in public places on my ipod I was too young to know what to do, so I would just sit there and watch it
>>205705901
>>205705903I wasn't a fan, all of the sliding and diving ruined it for me. I just got it for free on gamepass.
I just learned that American never payed Russia for Alaska and that it was only a lease not permeantSO....
google santa tracker is shit all the minigames are always the same shite
>>205705996Just burst out laughing looking at that image
>>205705903no, even the shittiest battlefield games mogs COD and you cant deny it
>>205704376who are your mates?
>>205705996
>>205706093So fucking peng
>>205705929yeah prostate stimulation is a meme but part of me thinks I didn't do it right so I'm still opening to try it again down the road
>>205706093this cant be real
>>205706093rourke... we lost
I don't understand geting a job in another cityare you meant to rent a flat and move in before you even know if you like the job or not? I have autism btw
i just got here, why is there five editions in the 'log and three of them are melties?
>>205706161Mong! Mongy mongy mongboy!
>>205706093bnwo activated
i want to be in a relationship with the ex gf of 4.5 years again and do the things we planned to do like buy a house and have children lads
>>205706203understanding why the spastics of this general are on perma-melties is beyond the comprehension of normal, mentally-well posters
>>205706232Tough shit.
fancy a wank
>>205706209but what are you meant to do? stay in a hotel for a month?
>>205706232Life moves onThat's what scares me soI've no intention of letting goOnly usNo one in the worldOnly usNo one in the worldI better do somethingMove earth and sky
>>205706161Yes but most people only move for high paying jobs or work they are passionate about so it's worth it
https://youtu.be/Nv3WRpLK4cg
wonder how feels to have your hand around the hard cock of another bloke
>>205706330makes me feel like a girl
>>205706330Feels gay mate
>>205706286Sometimes this is an option if you're still working out moving house, sometimes employers will give you a moving stipend to help
>only a few more days until the irish unification of 2024
>>205706362ya wo
>>205706247one schizo logs off melty toil as another comes in for their shift, almost like this thing is a co-ordinated effort
>>205706317he has schizo eyes
im so fucking broken
Ikea hotdog down the gullet
Charlie veitch has been going around Manchester handing out photos of himself
>>205706434schizo brain too
vaping indoors even though my landlord told me not to
Geordie getting into a fight about engineering with his fictional love interest as fucking per
My twink feet fucking stink
Just eaten 1kg of red rooster potatoes
>>205706362i understand this reference
>>205706460how'd you figure that
>>205706472geordie la-incel
>>205706498Fuck me you fat cunt, how'd you manage that
>>205706498How did you cook them
Telos in KOTOR 2 is comfy.
>>205706487gizza sniff
>>205706487*sniff*
how do I profess my love for the girl that works in my local tescos without being weird or creepy
>>205706610nobody's ever accomplished that
>>205706520I'm 6'5 so I can eat a lot. >>205706537boiled themthen mixed them in a mix of: garlic powder, paprika, minced garlic, olive oil, chiu chow chilli oil, thai red curry paste, salt pepperthen smashed them down on a baking tray with a jarthen baked for 30 minsvery good
ive got a job mate i make 200k a year as a product manager so fuck off
>>205706610Ask her if they've got any under the counter bran flakes
>>205706639sure you do adam pal
>>205706610ask her what her arsehole smells like
>>205706610back off she's mine
>>205706610just tell her you think she looks beautifulhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J5VBo1y-no
Q4 perf reviews coming lads
sports personality of the year being announced lads
>>205706631wtf
>>205706631I'm 6'4 you fat cunt if I ate a kilo of potatoes I'd start a chip shop
>>205706685it's keely's arse
The average /brit/ poster
split personality of the year being announced ladsits between adam, sacked tranny and 190
did gimmick of the year ever get announced?
>>205706687the extra inch makes a lot of difference
>>205706610get her name from her name tag and then cause a distraction and sneak behind the cigs counter to use the tannoy to get her to go to a quiet aisle or out back, run there and get on one knee
>>205706758um
>>2057067326'6£210k salaryWFH, definitely not a NEET7.75 inch cock AND girthyVirgin
>>205706684We need to streamline
>>205706764Round your waist? Yeah I bet
>product managerone of those fake jobs that doesn't actually do anything like 'Chief of Fun' or 'Productivity Ninja'yeah mate you knock together a powerpoint twice a year and sign off on consultancy fees from Deloitte congrats
>>205706631Weight?
>>205706681it's so simple i should have known this was the line since i remember girls going nuts for that james blunt song
>>205706803Up your mum's growler>>205706827105kg
>>205706820...said the NEET
>>205706820pushed back that freak's time scale indefinitely
thinking about how I'm a freak and a weirdo
>>205706858>105kg Didn't know they made mobility scooters for cunts that fat
>>205706858>105kgFfffat cunt
>>205706876
I’m sick of women and their fucking memes just stop fuck off and die already
>>205706876hooting and hollering at this like i would in a staff meeting when toilberg cracks a joke
KOTOR 2https://www.youtube.com/live/Z0fY0PgrX5w
>>205706903>>205706909built like a brick shithouse
Mental how perfect smoking is for social situations. Everything's gone to shit ever since indoor smoking was banned.
funny and charming cat image
>>205706976More like built like a brick of shit
the gimmick of the century (site wide) is, by a distance, marblecake also the game spelled out in that TIME magazine poll
>>205707029not pepe?
pure pazaak
>>205706996
Lads I just found my tribe
>>205707019Brick of shit dropped on your bonce
>I'm ready for new challenge - Rashfordit's over
>>205706996that british cat painter that went schizo had a very charming artstyle
where the hell do they get these people from
Not even an apology. That won't do at all.
I had this dream where I was in a Halo 3 multiplayer map but it was real life and it was the one on the beach with that building where you can go inside that pipe and I went in there and it was a secret passageway which connected to the basement of my house.
what incel activity can i go to on NYE that will keep me occupied until the party dies down
Got a massive knob this ladhttps://i.4cdn.org/fit/1734317641625425.webm
>>205707256literally nonego home to your family
>>205707245I used to have dreams where I could noclip in real lifeA common one was when people were chasing me but I noclipped past the walls and could see them trying to find me
3 pints and a bottle of wine down teh gulletstandard
>>205707196HIGHLAND REGIMENT
>>205707283i hate my family around that time
>>205707295gtrim
Just a few days till I’m hearing this sweet, beautiful music again lads x
>>205707256playing video games
>>205707324Few more days is it?
>>205707324Asylum claim failed did it?
>>205707300cant hate them more than being alone surely >>205707324>205707324dont know what this means never seen thos eseast before and dont associate any plane with music
>>205707256
give me oil in my lamp keep me burning
>>205707327ye but i need to get out the house and still get home when taxis and shit arent available
you can make nudie images in grok
>>205707347>cant hate them more than being alone surely how so
GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP KEEP ME BRUNINGKEEP MY OIL IN M Y LAMP I PRAY KEEP MY BGIVE MY POIL IN MY LAMP KEEP ME BRUNINGKEEP BE BRUENIG TO THE NED OF THE DDAY
Mr Beast
>>205707385make illegal ones so elon gets fucked by the feds
*makes call-me hand sign**makes drinking hand sign*
>>205707342Just a few more days mate aye x>>205707344Don’t think Ryanair flies to places Asylum seekers come from lmao>>205707347You should get out more matey
*assumes the gay porn stance*
>>205707452i fly like 8-10 times a year on average
>>205707385Can Elon make my dad come home and kick my stepdad out of the house
she's so flexible
/brit/'s days are numbered.
>>205707439umm
>>205707483There’s no adult content on 4channel mate
>>205707452It flies to france
>>205707483:/
>>205707491you're on a list now
>>205707481
>>205707481absolutely busted stompers
>>205707516Those wogs on the boats aren’t French lmfao
>>205707560No flies on you mate
Just seen that I missed a massive DTFIC-heatherpaedo combined melty earlier, gutted lmao
any hyperflexible joints man in
>>205707644Stretch Armstrong me
>>205707464well now I think you're secretly closeted and fuck your male interns
>>205707663didn't ask to be fair
used to stick my stretch armstrong up my arsehole
>>205707684more like stench armstrong haha
>>205707684Bit rum that
>>205707663Stench Armstrong more like ya dirty bastard
figured it out lads. NYE eve plans . me, premier inn and a prozzie
>>205707684stretch arsepong
>>205707749>>205707736>>205707704
>>205707736
>stench arsepong
no cans for me tonight lads feels good knowing I’ll be able to sleep well and not wake up drenched in sweat heart racing :3
>>205707738um thats against the terms and conditions mate
drank many beers tonight
this niga died from pizzahttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lowell_George#Death
>>205707794>>205707783>>205707768>>205707596>>205706910>>205705929>>205704447>>205704337BNWO status?
>>205707738brasses will be out doing pro-bono worknot hanging about to entertain boring little incel freaks
waiting for the 17yo polish girl to come online so we can spend all night talking again > ~ <
>>205707874thought brass was policemen
>>205707897cretin
>>205707874More like pro boner work
>>205707874pro boner more like
>>205707877um
>>205707907top brass means people of high rank in these professions
8 ball of cocaine and a transgender threesome booked in for friday night
>>205707935did your mum ever say she was a copper then? that's how im imagining she hastily came up with a cover story there
>>205707874er more like pro boner ahaha!
going maccies anybody want owt
seen a bloke buy a chinese and take it home on the bus. is he reheating that shit wuuuut
>>205707935shut up child
>>205707987Get red rooster instead
>>205707987FuckMurry please mate
>>205707987McFlurry, Big Mac meal, 20 nuggets, large fries
Sir Sex Arser
yeah pro boner and all that
>>205707987you guys have the mcrib? I haven't had a mcrib in lightyears.
>>205708037
>>205707987double cheeseburgerlarge frieslarge vanilla milkshake9 nuggets sidecheers x
Tony Hawk's Pro Boner 4
Sir Pro Boner
>>2057079877 hash browns and a bottle of milk
yeah just puked up this boozegoing to keep drinking anywaygot menthol illness me you see
>>205706758The only new gimmick this year is Big Brad so it has to be that by default
>>205708067what you drinking gay boy
>>2057079874 large double quarter pounder with cheese meals, one coke, one sprite, one strawberry milkshake, one chocolate milkshake20 chicken nuggets, sweet and sour sauce
>>205707987chicken salad and a water please lad
chilly double cheesburger pls
>>205708116wine now
>>205708165bit gay that
>>205708109what about sir keir posting
>>205708173nowt gay about puking up booke mate
want to try sucking a dick tbqh
just HAD to get into interracial cuckold porn just as I get a gf bruh
hello sailor!
London will not rest London will not die Thousands shall perish I say to you LONDON LIVES
the gimmick of the year organiser is a retardincluded loads of heathermong spam as "gimmicks" but practically zero actual new gimmicks
>>205708316bruh
>>205708650he's shite every year his list is full of non-gimmicks or stuff that isn't new
