gnomes edition
poo
>>205871346Saw something in the sky last night, could have been a drone, a space ship, who knows what it could have been. It could communicate and blink though when I was asking it questions; could it have been cloud cover? Proper swaying around in the air like a sail boat. Could have been Government, could have been alien, could have been everything and anything. That's what I think. I like to keep an open mind. Be like water, that's what Bruce Lee said.
>>205871375this worth saving for the new?
>>205871375it was swamp gassorry, i've been eating BEANS
>>205871380The op brought up stars in the sky and I thought it was pertinent since it only happened at like 2am
We be out here cuh
How can you call yourself an Esoteric Hitlerist if you don't snort coke every night?
Swaying about in the air and doing spirals. Blinking it's lights. Could have been anything, not the first time I've saw one, by any means.
Emma Watson to the press: “I want to shit in a yank’s mouth”
>>205871399where is this? sky still medium blue where i am
emmayank stop being a /brit/ pick me
waiting for my mum to go to the gym so I can smoke ganja in the garage
>>205871426Pwllheli
>>205871434wish my parents weren’t pearl clutching boomers and let me smoke weed. all i fucking want is the occasional joint and just lie there monged and stoned on 4chan or watching telly in my room but no. I’m a grown man that works full time and pays rent to them but still it’s “their house” and they threaten to throw me out if they catch me smoking weed. My mum literally thinks it’s a hard drug, dad told me i’d end up injecting smack once the buzz from the weed wore off and i’d become a druggie. Fucking boomers man.
>>205871434bet your weed is shit
>>205871434>mum to go to the gymGrim
bro actually pays rent to his fucking parents hahahahahsdagpoiasdg8945yoifegeq45hdfagbw5thj5jh54hrtsthgrshg
going home for xmas today
>>205871471Move out then u gimp I’m 19 that’s my excuse >>205871483Zkittlez
>>205871500How’s that grim? She’s fit unlike all your mums who are fat disgusting cunts
single solid log of pooclean wipein and out in less than a minutelovely stuff
>>205871513im 21 it’s starting 800 quid a flat round here and that’s before bills, food, a car, nights out i only earn around 1.5k a month
>>205871526She'll be flirting with all the young men lol
>>205871540Oh that’s fair then I thought you were like 30 or something >>205871545Not at this time in the morning
>>205871500literally nothing wrong with this God forbid your own mother stays healthy and in shape
>>205871560cooking and cleaning is exercise enough
>>205871550She'll be getting young black men grabbing her arse
might get hungry jacks delivery and have some bong rips
presents wrapped. Now to drive to mumbergs and doss for the rest of the year x
Can't imagine anything more grim than your mum going to the gym in shorts/leggings and having men perv on her lmao
>>205871608lay off the porn
any good games on quest?
>>205871614Watch out on the road I’m out and about speeding and using phone
>>205871637Porn is good
thought this Storm Darragh was last week but it's back. how's that happened then?
>>205871658yeah pokerstars fucking love that game
>>205871659have a few drinks to heighten your senses lad x
rabbit
would like to have sex with a femboy before christmas
>>205871613Same except without the Hungry Jacks and I don’t smoke weed so no bong rips.
>Yes hello I'm looking for Mr. Sea>First name: Getinthefucking
I have 3 games Minecraft gta v and euro truck simulator 2
really excited for Christmas lads. How about you?
prefer baths me but im too big for them
14c on christmas day, that's just not on lads
>>205871815nah im not a literal child so i couldnt care less
>>205871815Sadly not I can’t find the festive spirit. Shame since I’ve been waiting for Christmas all year and now I’m wasting it
got a feeling my nephew is gonna hit me with the "Santa is not real" line today
>gonna hit me with the FOYN
>>205871850can finally take off the costume when you're shagging him up the arse yeah?
>>205871815felt no ups or downs for months
>>205871863um
this was put up in a few hours overnight in a field in the uk
>nah im not a literal child
>>205871882hes right you know, time to grow up
what u lads doing for christmas?gonna have a sad meal with my family
>>205871863get a life nonce freak
>>205871513>19come here young man let me shag your supple arse
>>205871887I'm sitting in my room staring at the walls because someone here told me I can't enjoy Christmas and need to grow up.
A Christmas toast to the communist workers of /brit/!
>>205871887depressing lunch with the family then awkward dinner with the gf family
>>205871887Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it?
>>205871921why is it gonna be awkward?>>205871929excuse me?
Got my Flygon on Pokemon Emerald ladsGiven it Earthquake, Rock Slide, Fire Blast and Dragon Claw
>>205871942https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoAzpa1x7jU
>>205871887meal, hang about the house probably play Trivial Pursuit, go to visit my dad's side of the family in the evening for more of the same.Sounds a bit grim written out but i enjoy it
>>205871949i seen laserz n shit
>>205871942nosey bloody parker
>>205871969good christmas movie
>>205871887going to stay at my mums on christmas eve then christmas dinner with family which will be dull and uncomfortable as always then a seperate christmas party at my mums with more family which this time will involve getting shitfaced. a miserable day of forced interaction with cousins and aunts/uncles i couldnt give 2 fucks whether they are living or dead
giving the new maker a corrective beating after last thread's actions
wonder what it's like to have the opposite of a dysfunctional family
In love with a girl named soogs
having the aforementioned hungry jacks / bong rips
>>205872147Was gonna get hungry jacks the other night but there weren’t any good promos going just pineapple on the usual burgers bit boring I thought
Mum finally gone gym time to blaze
>>205872167thought the same tbqh only doing it cos uber eats had a deal on
On the Sopranos episode where Tony's daughter has sex with the nog.Shall be skipping this one.
decided to cancel Christmas after that one lad here said I'm too old to enjoy it.
>>205872286Don't listen to him lad
>>205872286good. grow up
Christmas dinner is ruined this year because my insane northern dad is throwing a shit fit and demanding we have dinner at 12 because apparently they have dinner at lunch time in the north or something. We actually have to accomdate him and try to compromise and have dinner at fucking 2 or something absurd. One of his arguments was 'it's called christmas tea, not christmas dinner', which is a profoundly stupid statement on multiple levels. I wish I had stayed home.
>>205872300You’re only saying that cuz you got no one to spend it with fucking loser
Absolutely despise nephewberg because he's a spoiled little cunt. Last Christmas, when he was opening his gifts he was demanding to open the big ones first. Everyone was telling him to start small and build up to the bigger (and better) ones. He threw a tantrum and they eventually decided to let him open the big ones first.I tried to discourage it by telling everyone not to cave into him and make him start small, if you let him do this he'll just throw tantrums whenever he doesn't get his way etc. I was accused of ruining Christmas. He opened the big one and refused to open any of the smaller ones, much to the despair of his grandparents who never got to see him open their gifts. The little cunt.mum has already warned me about my behaviour for Christmas this year
>>205872286that comment has really got to you hasn't it
How do you know when it’s over? If you’re 22 and never even held a girls hand and have no mates is it over? I don’t think you can come back from that
Love a good Christmas dinner, me.
>>205872364I just don't appreciate depressed little incels telling me I'm not allowed fun in life.
>>205872396could always go out and pick up drunk slags
>>205872396I went on to a dating app for the first time at 30 years old, had three dates within three months and had a girlfriend for the past year. This might not apply to you but generally speaking, the sheer fucking amount of people who think they're trapped in a never ever life who have just literally never even tried cannot be overstated.
>>205872425>telling him to go out and catch a rape charge
>>205872425I’m not Indian
>feeling down >order a pint to feel happier>feel too down to drink itIt's joever
>>205872448drunk women always consent to you. just make sure you record it.
>>205872465hello sarr
>>205872442You might be right because it’s true I’ve never tried but now I feel like I’ve already missed out on vital experiences and can’t make up for that
>>205872448>>205872449the chatting up part was implied
>>205872481
>>205872504
back home for Christmas now and mumberg has decided we're watching all the Wallace and Gromit films today.
>>205872531FOLC
>>205872531enjoy it lad
>Wallace and Gromitthank god for the internet otherwise it would be shit like this forever
>>205872531based
>Wallace and Gromittime to grow up
PARRRPFFTTHHHPTHPTHFFFF
>>205872591Lol
>>205872490So you bumble through it without the expertise of someone who has experience, you still have to do it and then you'll still gain the experience. I was upfront about never having been in a relationship before (when appropiate to mention so), and even about my bottom barrel job. I'm a manlet and not good looking. I still got several dates with interesting and normal looking women (not overweight, not ugly), and you can too. This isn't a pep talk, I'm just stating completely plain facts. You just need to put yourself on a dating app and get started.
>>205872531The Curse of the Wererabbit is a great movie
>>205872591>>205872601zoomzoom
he's right you know
no he isnt
I'm 6'0 tall in shoes and I'm always wearing shoes so that means I'm 6'0 tall. Sneed
>>205872601alri ebeneezer
>>205872623behave yourself you daft cunt, it's clearly the wrong trousers
best christmas movvies?
>>205872531wallace and gromit is so shite it's actually mental how much time they spend making each one for how dire they are
>>205872648he said all the films you illiterate philistine
>>205872250Can’t go wrong with a whopper with cheese mate the burgers really are better at hungry jacks
>>205872653Black Christmas (1974)
get the cheese scromit
>>205872653unironically jingle all the way
Gromit is Pyramid Head
>>205872707why is it rated so low though?
Watched the home alones with my ex last Christmas so that movies gonna be ruined for me now
i agree that BURGER KING burgers are better however can we please call it BURGER KING why did they change it to hungry jacks for aussies does the mere mention of a monarch make them piss their trousers
NOT ON
>>205872653It's a wonderful life is the premier christmas film
>>205872740>Fuller, go easy on the pepsi
>>205872775that's weird, we have burger king here
goutberg on a mad one today
>>205872812Is it painful? I've never been afflicted.
>>205872775Based autistic corporate names lawThere was already a little burger joint called Burger King so when they went to franchise the yank brand in Australia they had to change the nameIt's worked out because the Australian business has been able to pick and choose its brand associations with the yank business, hence killer localised slogans like "The Burgers Are Better At Hungry Jack's"
refuse to believe there are people out there who suffer from medieval diseases like gout.
>>205872838Why does 190 spam a Swiss dude off of an Australian TV show
>>205872827prime fuckmeat for a purpleheaded oiled python jungle bbc
Had such a crush on the elf girl in this scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QxIruvbt7c
watching a fatnology queernections about christmas lights
fury lost fair and square
*scrans the meat off your plate while you're eating the vegetables*Haha, no treat for you
wtf the dog can talk
>>205871375withdrawing from meds are we?
bye then lads, see you next year x
mum has decided on an unconventional Christmas dinner this year. Something to do with eggs. Not really fancying it to be honest what's wrong with turkey and mashed potatoes?
Just found out my mums new bf is coming to spend Christmas Day with us fucks sake
>>205872864that's fair enough thank you for the information. i had a burger king yesterday for the first time in probably 3 years and it was peng it didn't even ruin my stomach
at least you get to spend Christmas with your mums
>>205873000sounds awful she's totally lost the plot
>>205872991WATCH MY CHOPSYou must never say a word
must be mad having a bent relative and they bring their bf to christmas dinnerimagine trying to enjoy your turkey when the entire time you'll have in your mind two people you're sharing a table with likely violated each others poo pipes the night before
>>205872991it's no joke! the dog, he spoke he said
>>205873052Why are you sharing your masturbatory fantasies with us
>>205873029wonder has a boxer ever been puched so hard he pooed his boxing shorts
>>205873000sisterberg has gone vegan this year and refused to come to mum's with her family unless the dinner was vegan so we're having mushroom wellington
>>205873028is she away on holiday this year lad?
>>205873000mimosa eggs aren't a bad first course
>>205873079she fit?
>>205873079HAIL SEITAN
>>205871346Those are not gnomes, those are nisser.They live in your barn and play tricks on you and your livestock unless you put out porridge and milk to them in winter time.t. knower
>>205873079do you ever read her bra labels to see how big her tits are
>>205873107she's only 11 you vile nonce.
>>205873079your sister is a fucking cunt
>>205873135so yes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHZKYo_sfGg
big gnome shills in spreading misinformation
>>205873127what is a gonk my mum loves them i hate them
where is the most unique place you've ever had a wank?
>>205873135>11 year old dictating dinner and the terms of a family event
cute little bugger
>>205873187in the toilet at the top of the tallest building in hong kong
>>205873197It's all for the littlies mate
>>205873175We don't call them gonks here, we call them nisser (plural of nisse). But their hat should be red, not grey.
just had a wank for no reason
i'm not a paedophile but i also think the paedo panic is a bit overblownit's not like theres one on every street the way the media would have you believe
veganism isn't healthy for a kid
already tipsy and room is clouded in smoke because too cold to open the windows
The holiday house's copy of the Secret Book of Gnomes
my japs eye is very red and it stings when i go for a piss
>>205873221prezzies are for the little ones. christmas dinner is for me
need speakers for my computernot sure which to buy
todays the day i face my alcoholism, no more piss for me and this time i mean it
been drinking piss all my life and no plans to stop
>>205873317ktim every sunday waking up hungover then get straight back on it when it starts to pass
>>205873332yeah alri RFK Jr
>>205873317ktwm yesterday morning but feel fine now so will be out for a few jars later
>>205873317Very easy to say that on a Sunday after you've been drinking all weekend. Try facing your alcoholism tomorrow evening when the cravings come back.
might go squeeze out a shite, post some slags here for my return yeah?
the basil brush show is so weird. it has the same feel as when video game characters openly discuss which button to press and mechanics, but don't achknowledge that they're in a video game. in the basil brush show, the characters constantly reference the set and the script, but still take their apparently fictional situation completely seriously. also basil comes out with fucking pars over and over, every post he ever made here would be one of those screen caps with 100 (yous)
>>205873408Rare to see a post this good here.
In bed. Farting.
>>205873317how many times have you said this before?
>>205873455times many but this time is different
behind my desk is a rat's nest of wires
>>205873487what changed?
>>205873515shat myself in an uber last night
>>205873526looooooooolmaybe quit the curries as well
I always buy my mum a more expensive gift than my stepdad does and then he proceeds to be cold to me for the rest of the day. It’s a tradition at this point
And the boys of the NKVD Choir were singing KatyushaAnd the bells are ringing outFor Marxism
Picking at my toenails and ripped off most of my pinky toe nail and it’s bleeding a bit
>>205873591>Belgian posting in the British thread about a Jewish company donating money to an African American cause in the United States
Any wakes up but then just doesn’t get out of bed for an hour or two because he doesn’t have anything to get out of bed for man in?
>>205873625...yh
imagine going flying on Christmas Eve that would be so cool
Got the Frasier on
At this point political discourse involves posting dumb "x-wing bad, y-wing good" memes online. Most people never seem to get past the inane communism vs capitalism arguments. It's not a phase they grow out of.
>>205873626what's manipulative capitalism about that
>>205873625i get up when the need to piss outweighs the desire to remain comfy
>>205873562belgiumnonce, see >>205873408that is a post of quality, this man has mogged the cumulative worth of all your years of contributions with a singular interesting couple of lines and an image
>>205873692nice, what episode?
I hate smelling like a wet towel
>>205873680Alri Santa’s reindeer
BOOM BOOM
>>205873692KtimThe ep where bulldog dunks on Frasier on his show
>>205873748I meant like in a Plane. I don’t know why I worded it like that
>>205873692once snogged a girl by pretending to like Frasier. Told her my favourite episode was the one where him and Niles buy a restaurant and she jumped all over me.
>>205873723used to have a piss bucket during my feral phase at uni to stay in bed but realised my room smelled like beer piss and was a danger of spilling it
>>205873798
>>205873798what if someone wanted to come in your room?
>>205873779is that a fella?
mumzy needs to buy some fucking mince pies don’t know what she’s playing at
>>205873835make some yourself
if all the world were paper and all the sea were ink if all the trees were bread and cheese what should we have to drink?
>>205873798when I lived in a flat I’d piss in a plastic bottle and pour it out of the window at night
my favourite episode is when frasier is dating a model who's also a scientist
>>205873779Mad how you can see the incel he was before the pipeline got himCunt probably loves paradox games
What are you having for lunch lads?
watching old A-team episodes
>>205873912Didn’t ask
>>205873891Probably gonna make a bacon and egg sarnie when my mum and her mates have left
>>205873891it's not lunch time yetbut probably carrot and coriander soup
chewing on a mintie
>>205873820i was spending my time on odd forums or crossdressing and wanking into fleshlights, there was no one visiting me in real life
going to have bacon and scramby eggs shortly
>>205872337I consider Christmas dinner to actually be Christmas lunch as well but surely on such a big occasion it gets pushed to early afternoon?2:30-3pm when I was growing up.
>>205873938ever shag them up the arse?
>>205873891tamale maybe
>>205873967 not yet
>>205872504Women. Can't take em anywhere
Feeling communist
>>205873949ever lick out your fleshlight?
>>205873941>carrot and coriander soupYes granddad
need a game to play
>>205873986ayooo
>>205873891went to the asian supermarket and got some cheeky chinky noodles yesterday (the kind with moonrunes all over them and no english translation) so going to enjoy my instant bat lunch desu
>>205873949>crossdressingAny pics?
b gl dla arad uade dne ik o
absolutely loathe my parents and their idiotic behavior have a neurotic mother who just doesnt use her brain and it's just embarrassing to be related to such a person
siswet19
>>205874010mass effect trilogy
>>205873798>>205873855least grim /brit/ posters
>>205874077CBA grinding through ME1 sorry
>>205874081You’ve never pissed in a bottle before? Yeah ok fella
might make some soup today. buy a bunch of cheap chicken wings, roast them with some veg, soup it all in a pan, job's a good un.
not sure if i should buy life is strange double exposure steam reviews are mixed
>>205874112it's shit
Growing up middle class and being exposed to the ways of the average vulgar fat slob pleb was the biggest culture shock of my life.
>>205874010Devil May Cry 3
>>205874135Horrible aren't theyFind it quite funny how the English underclass is so racist when their behaviour, language and style is indistinguishable from innercity blacks
>>205874091i unironically have not no, because im not a freakwhy would you do that if you live in a flat? you have a bathroom surely
>>205874134that's a shame
have also never had a piss bottle
>>205874191I haveNot even really sure why
might embark on a 1000-iece jogsaw puzzle over christmas
I had one in my bedsit because the person whose room was next to the bathroom was an annoying angry drunk who kept trying to befriend me and would then go on rants if he thought I'd "disrespected him"
There's some massive statue outside of Spurs stadium today Think it's meant to be their Oriental striker but don't know why he's in a frock
>>205871815I want it to be over so life can get back to normal
>>205874171It's convinced me nationalism is a dead end for high quality people. Any kind of nationalism would have to empower high quality elites or this country has nothing worth salvaging.
>>205874272looks like that thing from squif game
>>205874066shes got a right fat pussyvery lovely stuff
>>205874183the game is shallow and like a caricature of woke shit, every character is some kind of gay except of course the bad guyfrankly embarrassing
>>205874066could probably stick my head up her arse
>>205871815be nice to get 3 days off toil>>205871842wow you're so mature and definitely not a boring jobless fat yank bastard!
>>205874135Yeah people don't die in one punch unlike tarqs
squif game
https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1734832695677364.webm
>>205874306if that's your critique of it then i don't carethere's nothing wrong with LiS being very gay it should be gay
>>205874171Racism comes from the bourgeoisie as you show.
>>205874291They're already empowered and were quite happy to oversee the woggification of this country
>>205874334time off is the only benefit weird calling someone boring for not caring about a holiday that was only fun as a child instead of stressful since you need to gift others and have to engage with family you dislike
The shops are busy
>>205874368Nah
>>205874353whitebros our response?
>>205874335The fact basic decency makes you a "tarq" in this country now is exactly the problem.
>no i never pissed in a bottle it's VILEfucking idiot. people have been pissing in buckets right up to the mid 20th century
>>205874393went into central yesterday, it was horribly packed. got the ol' pavement rage.
>>205874353Cockmogs me!
>>205874429is a bucket a bottle?
>>205874357the majority of people are straightstay in your place, homo
>>205874429bizarre hill to die onyou're a weirdo
>>205874478i don't do it myself i'm just sayingactually i did it once when i was drinking and didn't want to bump into anyone in dorms
>>205874472>the majority of people are straightnow run the stats for LiS enjoyersit's a gay game for gay people
>poor people are as disgusting as black people >why can't they just be decent like me
>>205874469if anything a bottle is better because you can close it
quite funny how commiemong's still here but obviously incredibly depressed and reserved after Assad got fucking demolished
>>205874391weird calling someone a child for looking forward to public holiday but you do you mr scrooge i hope you don't have a heart attack from the immense stress of buying a few presents
>>205874478This sounds like a reddit post. I can see this with a few hundred updoots and several replies saying "This!"
>>205874491>avoids being social while drinking to the point where he skips using the bathroomyes you are a weird cunt as i said
bollocks roasting on an open fire
>>205874496Yeah, exactly right.
>>205874386The people currently empowered are midwits and plebs. Not elites in the true sense if the word.
I'm honestly the least bigoted person on the planet. Nobody is completely free of prejudice so I reserve a bit of that for Israelis but apart from that I treat everyone equally.
>>205874492and the sequel flopped because they overdid it
>>205874543Oh right yeah? How about Russians?
so glad that steam has a switch to nintendo button layout option
>>205874521sounds like you're projecting your reddit experience onto my post ngl
>>205874531yeah i was but that was like 10 years ago
>>205874543i have no engagements with blacks or browns or gays or trannies or jews and if i did id probably be polite to them as with everyone else
>>205874545the sequel flopped cos it was about ladsgreat game though
customising my /brit/ experience
>>205874575ok nerd
>>205874585that was a tranny spinoffthere's an actual sequel where the girl from the first game is now in uni
most bizarre video i've ever seenhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAIzLj3mYTw
>>205874426Its not "basic decency", it's being an arrogant scrote who should be turned into paste.>>205874408Yeah
New>>205874628>>205874628
/brit/: where the new either comes at 280 or 350.
nah it usually comes somewhere around 310
>>205874716>>205874716>>205874716non yank new