>>215345001
CUTE :3

Shitting.

Fuck my life

Rogan health shake recipe:

4 large kale leaves
4 celery stalks
1 cucumber
1 “pager sized” chunk of ginger root
4 cloves of garlic
4 good sized slices of pineapple or 1 pear

>>215345001
good kitty

>>215345021
My life is worse and more retarded than your life
Sit down you havent seen anything son

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>>215345012
>>215345031

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i woke up past noon and i'm already sleepy

Just shat. It fucking reeks. Mission accomplished.

>>215345039
Are you literally homeless?

ahshsjamxba no one laughed at me gem
I'm cwying hahdhdbsjns

>>215345048
No you aren't

Slip like Freudian, your first and last step to playing yourself like accordion

>>215345060
*heems you so hard into the wall you turn into an accordion like a cartoon*

>>215345072
*crumples to the ground and lays a big green egg*

>>215345080
**makes an omelet**

Americans love shooting each other don't they?

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>>215345056
Here's a tear for a souvenir
And a dream torn at the seams
Here's a promise that you made to me of love
It's more than I'll ever see and then you're free to go
>>215345072
raked that leaf

canadians love losing stanley cup games, dont they?

Americans love losing WBC don't they?

Armenians love System of a Down don’t they?

>>215345100
White Bentley Continentals? Maybe

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>>215345100

One time I was headed home one New Year's Day morning. I had just left my buddy's and was waiting for the bus when I got the overwhelming urge to shit, like really bad. I hobbled over to the Esso and asked the jeet girl working there if I could use their washroom and told me it was out of order. I then said it was an emergency and she said no solly. Then I asked her where they shit during their shift if their washroom is out and she was like "solly?" and I was like fuck this and started hobbling towards a Subway on the other side of the street. You need to understand though that I had to shit REALLY BAD. Every 30-60 seconds or so a huge cramp would go thru my ass and I'd have to stop walking and just focus on holding it in. Fortunately the roads were pretty dead since I just crossed the road without waiting for the lights, and thank God I didn't get a cramp in the middle of the road. I got to the other side of the road and a cramp, bigger than all the rest passed thru my guts and I thought I was going to shit right then and there in front of Subway but fortunately I was able to hold it in. Then I hobbled into Subway said to the jeet lady employee "can I PLEASE use the washroom" and she was like yeah and pointed right to it. Then I took a massive shit and it absolutely fucking reeked. Then after cleaning myself up and washing my hands and everything, I decided to leave the can unflushed because fuck Indians. "They can smell that along with the food," I thought. Then I got on the bus and went home feeling 20 pounds lighter.

>>215345047
You're not homeless, stop lying for pity points

Rip I am literally laying in the road tonight

>>215345115
I'm not homeless, but it's looking bleak. I don't want pity, just wanted to say fuck my life

I used to say that Canadian twink butts would smell like maple with a touch of Ceylon cinnamon but I'm not gonna say it anymore because it makes them uncomfortable and twink butts just smell like any other guy's butt I'd imagine. It's a butthole and so of course it won't smell like maple and even if they don't poop it's just enclosed sweat I suppose.

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>>215345111

>>215345060
>Slip like Freudian
Is that like when you accidentally slip and end up fucking your own mum & killing ur dad?
or something

>>215345129
you are a very reasonable woman

Heavy is the head that wears the crown bro. Talmbout my dick and the cockstretching weight I got clipped on there.

>>215345130
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAMdLsrNzQM

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>koturday
>it's sunday night

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>NO NO You can’t rape my butt!
>NO NO Stop raping my butt!

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>>215345149
everyday is koturday

>>215345154
tom-of-finland-esque

Cat posters are all mentally ill

>>215345148
https://youtu.be/iGPdb7uOfow

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>>215345166
shut up

>>215345116
You won't do shit. you're just a whiner

ypipo be fantasizing about rape

>>215345174
That was a great game. Binner was incredible in net.

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>>215345166
wtf

my life is the worst out of anybody's

>>215345174
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8O58QxnTRuw

>>215345174
imagine the sex with that timmy

Lolololololol

>>215345154
there are NO newer films that are good, change my mind

>>215345195
I haven't been laid in 14 years

>>215345179
black pipo be raping folxs irl
What's up with that?

Just beautiful tonight. Probably one of the last nice weekend nights,

>>215345201
smile 2 pleasantly surprised me

>>215345201
Another Round, Zone of Interest, Tar

>>215345048
Someone laughed but didn't think "lol" was worth taking up a post

>>215345201
the downton abbey film looks ok

>>215345225
It's raining here in the Great Bear Rainforest.

>>215345228
Cope

>>215345238
Say hi from Alberta to the Spirit Bears

Living in a temperate rainforest is badass!

>>215345231
i look like this

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>>215345249
I thought it was the entire coast but I guess not.

>>215345251
pretty cool how fast plants grow in such climates

>>215345256
*nuzzles your cheeks* :3

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>>215345196

My name is Ian and I’m a drunk

>>215345273
Jagr sure stands out. What a beast

So a guy walks into a gay bar

>>215345284
Nice and ur last?

>>215345273
>stan lees won since 1993
USA: 32
Canada: 0

>>215345291
Jomha

>>215345293
embarrassing

>multiple white hairs on my balls
oh uh

>>215345284
not my name but I too am druk

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>>215345293

>amazog prime deal
>it was cheaper a week ago
huh

>>215345309
>canada
0 stan lees
>USA
>32 stan lees

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Old time coastal First Nations were pretty fuckin cool.

So we're drinking. What are we drinking?

>>215345326
sierra nevada hazy little thing IPA

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ohnononononono canabros, how do we spin this???

>>215345326
Sambuca

>>215345314
We actually have 49

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i look like this

orangeman is literally invading my city
i cant breathe

I have no inherent worth
I think it's fair to say I'm worth as much as a McChicken

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>>215345343
>titles before half the league existed
YAAAAAAAAAAAWN

>>215345154
They really made this film shit on purpose to own the chuds.

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>>215345340
>cuts off the picture

I dunno what you are yapping about hockey, I only know about it from gay porn

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>>215345365
>pfffffffffffffffffffftttttttjajajajajajajaa

>>215345357
Cope

>>215345365
And the Soviets were sending a pro team to play against college players for almost 30 years. Canada and probably America would both have more titles if they weren’t doing that.

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>>215345382

>>215345381
Cope we mog your amount of titles, using a Mexican laugh too

>>215345351
Resist those fascist pigs show up in full tactical gear

>>215345381
>pfffffffffffffffffffftttttttjajajajajajajaa
SEEEEÑOOOOOOOR

One time we were surrounded, then we ran out of ammo, then we were fighting hand-to-hand, then we started dancing, and that's how I met your mother.

>>215345391
>>215345365

>>215345406
eres MorenX

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>>215345411

Big fan of the concept and the practice of alcoholism

Americans mad because they get dominated by us in Hockey and get dominated by Japan in baseball

Salmon, brown rice, and roasted cauliflower tonight

>>215345424
me 5 beers deep singing garth brooks songs

If I wasn't a lazy piece of shit, I definitely could become a dictator of a major country by now
Jews keep distracting me with booze and goon material and videogames

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>>215345426

Me, I'm smoking weed and drinking milk.

did you know hitler was ticklish

>Casey Kiracofe’s dive into an online world of conspiracy and bigotry began with a YouTube video when he was 14. He eventually became convinced the Antichrist was coming, bringing the end of the world.
>For A.M. Hickman, it was reading Ted Kaczynski’s manifesto online when he was 13. Soon he was posting to survivalist message boards.
>By age 21, he was on Reddit, moderating one of the internet’s largest forums advocating for “liberation” from the government, capitalism and other systems members saw as oppressive.
>"Boyhood now is a void. The thrilling extremist ideas you find on the internet become your surrogate boyhood adventure,” said Hickman, now 31.
>While the two young men fell into very different internet rabbit holes—one with alt-right leanings and the other on the far left—they were both drawn by a desire to find belonging and a yearning, they say, for the hero’s journey.
>For both, the result was depression and loneliness.
How did you become radicalized /cum/?

Cowboys Packers game has been great

I call them the cowgirls

havent washed my bedsheets in a month

The only cope they have is winning with Candians on their teams when the teams are just Canadians and Americans >>215345309
we dominate

Its very sad>>215345130

Did you know marijuana possession is still a crime federally in the United States and that the fed can arrest you any time they want even if you're in a legal state? They just don't bother, but they could.

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>we dominate
>stan lee-less for 32 years

>>215345490
Yeah that’s true. I’m glad our legalization was federal.

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>>215345365

>>215345490
Yeah and we still have to pass drug tests for a lot of jobs even in legal states, the details vary though

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>>215345500
Imagine being the PM whose only positive policy of note was cannabis legalization. Trudeau is truly le weed man.

Japan #1

There is at least one more 22 year old here besides me who also doesn't have a car or a job or go to college

>>215345515
His legacy would have been so much better if he lost to O'Toole.

East Asians are cruel to animals therefore I hate them.

>>215345515
I’ll salute him for that one. But yeah, not much else lol.

>>215345524
im 28 and dont have a car

>>215344132
It’s literally an inferiority complex albeit
Canada is a U.S. puppet state, not the other way around

>>215345490
yes, i know because i lost the only job opportunity i had out of college because of that legal gray zone

>>215345536
It is superiority though. Fuck the United States.

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>>215345534

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>>215345541
cute girls
terrible show

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>It is superiority though. Fuck the United States.

>Still fuming

>>215345564
US teams are filled with Canadians, and fuck hockey anyways.

do women know they are women?

Really wish it was June-July right now.

Everybody knows Canada is the illest except summer is too short

might goon early, not much else to do

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>and fuck hockey anyways.

>>215345582
no

>>215345582
This also Summer haters are contrarians

This summer might be your last.

>>215345524
I'm 25 and have a car and go to college, but i'm still a massive loser and i live with my parents
I should probably be crushed into the pavement like the pathetic worthless roach I am

>>215345610
I like both but I want more summer

>>215345603
July is too hot and makes me go crazy.
May and June are fine.

>>215345609
true true

I'm really sad about how brown I turned this summer. Working outside in the summer sucks.

>>215345627
I got tanned on purpose. We are not the same.

>>215345603
The human body is not designed for heat. our bodies already produce heat naturally so its unnatural to add more heat
Winter cold is perfect as you can always put on layers, plus it makes being inside feel cozier
And when you do go out you get to have the streets more to yourself and enjoy the silence

>>215345627
that's just from being around jeets

>>215345610
This.

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CHIMP OUT

>>215345648
>lose finals
>destroy your city
O CANADA

>>215345658
Happened twice too lmfao. I've always believed that final match was rigged.

>>215345661
yeah except i'm rich so my life is a hundred times better than yours
fuck poor "people"

>>215345644
white girls don't like tanned white boys, they like pale white boys, thank you

>>215345661
that extra paper is worth it

This fuckin football game is insane.

*tickles your armpits*

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>>215345661
>consuming oil is bad

Rich people are single handedly upholding the U.S economy
Why are poor people so worthless and useless? They don't do anything for society
Starting to feel like we should grind poor people into a paste

>>215345696
eeehehehehehe STAWP >_<

>>215345701
Yeah man. Furthermore, when are we going to stop letting babies be such useless freeloaders and put them to work?

>>215345610
I don’t really like summer or winter tbqh
More of a spring and autumn enjoyer

>>215345603
Summer haters include people like Jason, who has a terrible physique and gets brutally outshined by hot, white, six-foot-tall Zoomer boys with ripped bodies that white Zoomer girls are all fawning over at the beach. Fuck a fucking duck and fuck him, thank you.

What’s some boring information about your life?

>>215345661
>be American
>have AIDS

It good to keep learning new skills, keeps the mind young

>>215345725
I’m wearing sweatpants. I try to wear sweatpants as often as possible

Babies are so lazy and entitled. They're so lazy they won't even hold their head up. Babies need to pull themselves up by the bootstraps, stop leeching off of society and get a goddamned job. Get a job stupid lazy baby.

>>215345725
i have no hobbies

>>215345709
Red herring, infants represent future capitol
As soon as they turn eight or nine we can put them to work

>>215345716
Duhhh buhh me no want truck or sedan me want Ferrari! No shit motha fucka!

>>215345725
I always go to bed thinking I’ll eat eggs for breakfast but I never do

Hockey is like the whitest sport ever I don't know why you guys like niggerball so fucking much

>>215345737
Oh sweaty

>>215345725
My hair is light brown and somewhat curly, but it looks different depending on how the light hits it
it almost has this gray sheen to it from certain angles

>>215345748
I can't see the puck cause my eyes are shit. Basketball I can actually see the ball. Way more goals too.

>>215345753
>it almost has this gray sheen to it from certain angles
Unc…

>>215345748
>whitest sport ever
that would be hobby-horsing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8nZkXfng4A

I try to watch you on TV but I can't see the puck
Hockey used to have guts but now the teams mighty suck

>>215345753
I'm Brazilian and my hair is long and 100% straight

Holy shit! Vancouver just got nuked!

>>215345760
It's always looked like this
It has this strange feathered look
from one angle its darker brown and from another it;s lighter
It's because my mom has black hair but my dad used to have blonde hair, so i think the 2 genes mixed together somehow in a fucky way

>>215345725
I think holding in your pee is hot

>>215345725
I like sounding videos

Squirt is not piss.

>>215345785
Why not Toronto

What happened to our bromance

>>215345801
West coast is getting hit bro Seattle and LA just got hit too.

>>215345782
I don't believe you, all Brazilians are niggers

>>215345811
**kisses you**

>>215345825
Kys

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>>215345821
>I don't believe you, all Brazilians are niggers

>>215345829
you first

>Having to buy groceries every week, using currency, having a bank account, having a job. exchanging audio symbols with other humans, having to cut my hair, having to cut my finger nails, having to clean my ears out, having to blow my nose, having to wipe after i do poo poo
Tired of all these humiliation rituals. Shit is ridiculous out there...

dogberg is upset and barking because blumpf is invading my city and there are lots of helicopters around

where is hallmark anon?

>>215345843
Put him down. Now

>>215345841
this but unironically
i need to transcend the flesh and become a being of pure light

>>215345833
My hair looks similar color wise though more curly

>>215345748
There were a lot of white NFL players when I first got into football.

>>215345841
What if I do all that for you

>>215345862
go on....

>>215345843
Your dogs a libtard

Waiting for basketball season myself

Le sigh... Still haven't fucked a catgirl

I can suplex you then break your back then fuck your ass make you humble

>>215345843
Are you my short friend

>a tie

Thinking of ordering weed from the weed man.

>>215345865
You wont though

>>215345884
i know you

>>215345895
Who am I then

>>215345901
Jason

>>215345841
There are thousands of homeless that manage fine without any of those
don't let your dreams be dreams

If we kissed each other we'd feel better

>>215345901
you're the anon who bullies innocent apu posters

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>>215345904
Absolutely fucking not

>>215345884
no, i am not a /cum/ personality (yet)

>>215345725
I shave my face, pubes, and buzz off my hair every saturday or sunday, however this weekend I failed to do so.

>>215345908
This is very true

Wwyd if the orange fascist invaded your city?
Would you just let it happen like a cuck?

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How does it feel to know you will never share this moment with the love of your life?

>>215345930
yes i would stand down

>>215345946
i feel nothing

Media exists to spread and create artificial divisions, or otherwise amplify existing ones

>>215345930
what if i invaded your hole?

>>215345930
He came to my town in 2018. I ditched school to go see him, but he was taking ages so I just went home instead.

>>215345957
Good goy

>>215345940
Autist

>>215345930
i would have a drink and watch the libshits try and do something

>>215345930
Has anyone here ever seen Trump?

>>215345983
Fascists are cuckolds you guys are fine with having your property destroyed your towns invaded so long as its by the government
Pathetic

>>215345946
Feels good because finding people to be my best man and groomsmen would be a horrific experience.

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why shouldnt i transition at 25

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Ordered weed award!

>>215346015
Hell yeeeeaaaaahh

You smoking wee?

>>215346015
Those are nigger strains
>>215345930
Of course I'm not a criminal

>>215346015
*smacks lips* *sighhhhn* lucky aas sonbiiiiihhhhhh

>>215346006
why arent you out on the street fighting against evil tyranny right now?

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>>215346048
This is what Jason's future wife will look like, thank you

>>215346048
Because he's not invading my city yet. If he was I would be out with the real Americans who care about their country and defending my city right after I made sure that my wife and her boyfriend are safe.

>>215346048
If the fascist ICE pigs were invading my city, I would be

>>215346084
You wouldn't do shit

Every place in this pos bible thumping state stops selling alcohol at like 9

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>>215346007

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>>215346112
stop being silly

>>215345946
Idc honestly, If I ever actually settle down I don't plan to host a wedding.

>>215346122
lmao

Having a beer. A local brewery's refreshing Pilsner.

>>215346007
I wouldn't feel embarrassed about just being like "I don't have any friends and I don't give a shit". Most of the bridesmaids hate the bride anyway

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Today my sportsball team lost and the sportsball teams I hate all won

>>215346149
Wow remind me to be an asshole to you so you can hate me, I need some good luck

I have a "cockvore" bed where I "crawl into" a penis and sleep inside the (ventilated) balls. All fabric/pillow.

/cum/ would be devastated to experience how comfy this bed is.

My teams won today. Eagles and Blue Jays. Waow!

>>215346167
Pictures NOW

imagine watching sportsball

>>215346188
It's a healthy outlet for tribalism.
More people should watch it desu

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>>215346167
I sleep in a cockvore bed, do you?

>>215346174
Well, it's just a glorified blanket fort... 4 body pillows, a blanket on top of it, pillows underneath the "balls" which are two blankets tucked underneath the "shaft" and protruding from the end of it.

Cowboys won

>>215346201
Anon...

I served in the Vietnam War I still remember the chittering noises the gooks'd make when we'd use a flamethrower to get them outta their holes
A man doesn't forget a thing like that easily

>>215346216
I believe you

>>215346112
>>215346082
>>215345946
why are you seeking validation from retards on an anonymous basket weaving forum? your desperateness comes off as a larp