secret squirrel edition
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwvxKgk9fxAthread theme
Friendly reminder anime is for nonces
>>216474181we must secure a future for reds
Having a lovely lunch out in a cafe. This is what being confident looks like.Enjoy your rustlers burgers in your smelly bedrooms
Remember Hong Kong phooey?Now THAT was a cartoon
Imagine telling a girl you're a gardener lmaoooo
need to think about making some luncheon
Imagine thinking eating out is some power move oh no no no...
>>216474214Anime is for shaggers like meBreaking Bad, Sopranos, Star Trek etc is for fat ugly nonce incels
funny to imagine sacked tranny workshopping these posts in the background during yesterday's discussions about the Waterstones coffee pic
french rhymes with stench
It is kind of funny how America was governed by a Bush and a Dick in the 2000s though
>>216474220wouldn't be able to make that now due to woke
Having a beer but only as a hair of the dog
british tax revenues are being squandered on "halloumi flatbread"
>>216474255When is the last time you shagged?
>>216474282It looked uncooked and mouldy too
>>216474292When I was 3 I think my uncle sexually abused me. I would shag more today if it wasn't for transphobia
women with big massive chebs
>>216474266why's that funny
>>216474311So you're not a shagger at all then
>>216474326willies n taht
>sick freak! is now making up scenarios of his unc raping himoh my days!! what an odious little rodent. just like french and canadian posters
ate a crazy cheesey sardine quesidilla for lunchlast thing in the cupboard type jobby
When I've finished do I need to take the plate and cup back to the counter or leave it on the table and just go?
>>216474315good post
Aussie autismo up late posting cartoons he wants to marry but can't because they're imaginary
>>216474292He's never had sex. Also it's believed that his story about being nonced up the bum in his youth is a total fabrication, made up to secure his PIP claim.The infamous 'Uncle Remus' guide to bennies suggests PTSD as the best and easiest route because you can basically make up an entire traumatic event and its authenticity will never be questioned by the medical establishment. It's likely he used this approach.
>216474311LOL
>10/10 cute Indian girl asks if you'd like to spend diwali with herwould you?
Asked my boss for the afternoon off for bereavement as Cheney has died. He's told me to fuck off. Should I go to ACAS about this?
>>216474358I get PIP for Borderline Personality Disorder, Bulimia Nervosa, Major Depressive Disorder and Gender Identity Disorder and I didn't mention my sexual abuse in my application.
is it wrong to get on the dating apps while being in a relationship
>>216474340They're not real mate, no point in taking out your frustration on others.
>>216474381houston, we have a bruh moment
>>216474388Duck ACAS they're useless cunts didn't support me at all after Greggs bullied me to suicide and implied it was my fault I was sacked for trying to end my life twice.
>>216474391only if you get caught
>>216474372this question is an iq test
people think I'm Indian or racist against black people cos I wank to blacked porn, bro I just think it's hot wtf
>Greggs bullied me to suicideif only, if only
>>216474358>The infamous 'Uncle Remus' guide to benniesWhere might I find this guide?
cucknadian rodents aren't even worth pissing on>*pisses on you anyway*
>216474411>Greggs bullied me to suicideWell that never happened did it or you wouldn't be here lying about it now would you mate
glod
>elton john tomatoes
democracy is great but only like 10% of people should be allowed to vote
>>216474315sign me up
>go out for a lovely lunch>/Brit/ has a meltdownWhy?
>>216474512shut the fuck up animal
>>216474411Grow up
Don't reply to him
sucking a covfefe, watching the rain
>Eltonbrand
when i first started my job i wore a shirt and tie but now i just turn up in a t shirt and trainers and no one says anything
>>216474540sorry
raping a cock with my arse
mum's made terrible pancakes and now I feel sick
>>216474550It's ok anon x
>>216474545I wear a sweater, that's one good thing about the winter months you don't have to wear a shirt every day
>>216474545I'm supposed to wear a tie but you can easily get away with ditching ithowever the shirt is necessary and I will get many snide remarks from my colleagues if it's not ironed
>>216474576*jumper
hello7 11I'm glowing with the power
>>216474593Thanks
*does rorke like they did pac*
>>216474432>>216474547I fucked up combining the images in the last one, here's the correct order.
She's said she can't go out for the 4th time s I give upNo idea why she said in the first place that she wanted to go out and has kept it up so long
>>216474652mate you should've taken the hint by the 2nd time you asked at the latest
>>216474652She was testing you, you failed
Out for a late lunch at Costa, lads
>>216474679Maybe >>216474688Truke Just twenty more weeks and she'd be free trust the plan
>>216474652Had this happen to me once but then the one time she asked me the enchanted edition of gtv5 was releasing and I wanted to play it so said no. I'm unironically still a virgin and have always been an idiot.
>>216474693nice shoes, nice trousers, just a great outfit overall :) hope you enjoy your late lunch at Costa mate
>>216474693looking sharp lad
>>216474718Simply got your priorities.
cats are my favourite. just seen one that looked quite shiny and well fed
reginald van gleeson the third
>enchanted edition
>>216474728Still seething that others have stolen your picture and take the piss out of you I see?
>>216474693Hahaa nice one lad enjoy the coffee :)
Sir Samir Zitouni
>>216474751wish mine was still around
I haven't really thought things through
>>216474759think you've replied to the wrong person here but I will be having that (you) all the same
wanking to naked Japanese girls
thinking about women's hands
>>216474790no one doesthere's the gifted and the ungiftedsimple as
>>216474819code?
on my lunch break
who remembers when we'd just post "having a go" and that
>>216474718Really by this point if she it wouldn't be a good relationship since she'd always be too busy to see you anyway
Arise, Sir David Beckham
>>216474850loved that meme i didi did it a lot
Slaughter Leto.
one word to describe myself: 'craptastic'
trying my best
Might live in south east asia for a bit
>>216474872
My brother was 8 and I was half his ageHe is now 80What age am I?
Feel like pure shit just want him back
I created an Amazon S3 bucket, put a .png and .txt file in it, connected it to an EC2 instance, and then added versioning to the files.Cheers x
>>216474909me when I'm a paedophile
hate being a decent looking bloke with a thin penis. I get female attention and am good at kissing and whatnot but as soon as it comes to the big one, I can't bring myself to bare my nakedness.
expanding my horizons
>>21647491640
>>216474916dont know never met him
>>216474644not applicable to the uk though is it
>>216474916Dead at the age of 29 (suicide)
>>216474932are there any penis exercises you could do to bulk it up?
I saw a black man from Wales and Philippine woman together in Edinburgh I don't understand what I've done to witness these horrors
>>216474916idk when you and your brother's birthday is so i can't say for sure x
mad how there are places in the world where we all know sex crimes go on but it's normalised because its in 'that' part of the world. Unironic racism, if it was norway instead of thailand and if they were african nonces instead of whites, there would be an uproar. Someone should be protecting asian kids
>>216474928:|
>>21647491697
>>216474974I dont think penis exercises is a real thing mate
>>216474994People used to make those jokes about the Netherlands and Denmark because it was legal there until recently
well?
Day 17 of No Porn.Day 10 of No Fap.Day 7 after trying to lose virginity to an escort.No changes today. Libido still dead.I have found myself keeping eye contact with women easier though weirdly.
>>216475017t. dogfucker
>>216475013They aren't. The penis isn't made of muscle so it will remain the same genetically determined size forever.
>>216474961It's analogous 1:1 if you replace "SSI" with "PIP". Lifetime spacker bennies to fund a NEET lifestyle, granted upon acceptance of a successful claim founded upon specific "mental illnesses', all of which are emprically unverifiable yet come complete with supporting documentation provided by doctors who take the patients' lies at face value.
>>216475040Rude and baseless accusation
>>216475045
>>216475045noooOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH
>>216475026benign tweet but Scottish words
would you rather be ugly but with a smashing willy or have a smashing willy but be ugly?
>>216475073*misspelt English words
absolutely abhorrent post that
>>216474928kahteem!
would you rather be attractive but have a small willy or be ugly but have a perfect sized willy
>>216475026you typically don't travel to residential areas where driving lessons tend to be conducted
>>216475082I HATE THIS QUESTION!
There he goes talking about cock again Not gay by the way
>>216475105ugly with a small willyi'm not comfortable with change
having coffee then i'm going to search for mushrooms
it's al willy bum bum bum bum poo up in here
>>216475169pretty sure they sell them at the supermarket mate
>>216474872Shame they got swayed by his astroturfing campaign when he was queuing for the queenShould have been automatically disqualified from ever getting a knighthood when he went on that rant about how he deserved one
>>216466265
>>216475180not the kind i'm looking for
>>216475105I'm already ugly I might as well go for the willard. Mine is only 18cm
>astroturfing campaignsgarderner lad's LinkedIn
drinking my 4th monster of the day
>>216475231grow up
analogue pussy
>>216475212U tryna trip out dude?
>>216475242plant nursery lads linkedIn
>>216475256think you're some sort of clown. you grow up as well
literally makes no difference what size my penis is considering no girl will ever see it
>>216475273me when Warwick Davis auditions for my remake of The Greatest Showman but he forgets his motivation
wanking it to jav so hard that I fracture my dick
>>216475278you can always show it to your mum
shave your beard loser
*furiously spams the [Update] button to see some new posts*
Just made a cheeky carbonara but I didn't have the right ingredients in so used back bacon and GoudaActually turned out kinda bussin ngl
>>216475278what about boys
tfw no victorian era wife
>>216475301pretty sure mumberg has already seen it multiple times
>10mph speed limitThis is what the zoomzooms call a humiliation ritual right?
>>216475310...Gouda-nuff
>>216475310if it had ham in it it would've been closer to a british carbonara
>>216475302have a Nietzschean moustache me
had those halloween pringles and they're shite
>>216474872overrated
>>216475358Screaaaaaming >>216475359Dinnae ask
>>216475380oh glad i'm not the only one that made that mistake
>>216475380had a big share bag of Minecraft flavour Doritos back when the minecraft movie came out and they gave me horrible diarrhoea
Having a deep pan Goodfellas pepperoni pizza with green peppers and trying a can of Dragon Soop because someone said its like cocaine in a can. Never had cocaine but that sounds unlikely.
>>216475342I swear roadworks and car park designers have no concept of speedActually believing 5 or 10mph are reasonable speeds is just ridiculous
>>216475427the original shagger
>>216475105attractive with a small willy, I can always jelq it longer
>>216475414it's not even 2 pm you lard arse
Don't know how to drive 10 mph let alone 5 mphPretty sure my car would stall
>>216475412Must've been Jack Black flavour. Emma Myers would never
leftypol in the year 900 explaining that the reconquista is bad for spains GDP
>>216475454try first gear. cheers x
>>216475342london driving in general is just one big humiliation ritual
>>216475453Only had Marmite on toast for breakfast. Starving aint I
>>216475427cerne abbas. it 4x lush
>>216475454me when I'm a half-blind pensioner cutting about on a Saturday for no apparent reason
who's going to show me a good time?
>>216475548best time I can think of is when you fuck off
might shit myself
Sir Dick Cheney
>>216475548sorry mate we were all having a good time just before you showed up but we've stopped now
i want to visit dorset and see all the cool old stuff. do i have to go to london to get there or can my plane just go to dorset? not interested in seeing the rest of england
>>216475574Chuckling
maybe i'd visit canterbury/kent too. I hear its good ale
I need urgent medical attention
>>216475604me when I have to come up with a name for a character whose dad is a yank but his mum is chinese
Sir Seagull ShooterSir Washing Machine delivererSir Ticket Collector
>emo girl wants 2 fuck more than she wants to die>i <3 simpsphwoar might subscribe to her OF
>>216475548*flicks your paki spot*
>>216475638ffs is it you again, the one who always makes these comments
>>216475694sctr
>>216475698why keep asking when you already know
>>216475717I don't
2012 is the most recent US President election where both main presidential and vice presidential candidates are still alive
remember one time i smoked too much weed and worked myself into a panic attack over the question “did they have time in the year 1952” initially shut it down as “of course they did retard” then got panicky about why i would ask such a question, and then panicky that i couldn’t prove it (i wasn’t born then), horrid drug
>>216475624If you visit Kent get a glass of spitfire or hobgoblin
over 9000
>>216475746me when someone asks how many times ive raped my own arse
>>216475574>>216475591>>216475694i look forward to the day you grow out of your benderhood
scotslop for lunch
I've done far more for this country than David Beckham ever has where is my knighthood?
>>216475769says the batty boy walking into a 100% male thread and asking for a good time
>>216475769my dad when I got a Futurama-themed hoodie as a kid and refused to take it off
>>216475769bloody benchod
>>216475783wrong david beckham scored that free kick against greece and also made british men globally recognised as handsome stylish shaggers
>>216475796screwszah
>>216475775good man
It's mad how hentai has mindraped me normal porn does nothing for me anymore
>>216475811>handsome stylish shaggersNot you then?
>>216475811>and also made british men globally recognised as handsome stylish shaggersWhat's your excuse then?
>>216475787isn't there an employed woman here?>>216475799bastard benderchod bitch
me:ugly incelretarded neetevil
>>216475831irish me x
Arise Sir David Beckham
>>216475769bud bud ding ding 2.99
I’m not British i’m Cornish mate
>>216475775quite fond of a donner pie
Mark eats fried bread with organic butter and olive oil cooked in cast iron while the trolls eat gruel from a teflon pot
>>216475853Don’t worry I’m pro ugly retarded evil incel neet lives
>>216475853ktimmers
It lush
Simpin ain’t easy
Yanks be eating shite like “Red 40” lmao
love a bit of red 40 me, I like to buy some and dip my chips in it
>>216475896and it's lush all the way
new cellular device has arrivedconcerning how it's come with shit like TEMU and candy crush preinstalled
>>216475972me when I'm ranking my favourite bath smellies shops
>>216475979Flash the stock ROM on itNo idea what else is running on it, Xi looking at all your pics and laughing at the gaijin
>>216475979chinkphone, is it?
using worcheshire sauce as wank lube
>>216475935you eat real blood pudding
>>216475775>4032x3024>reflective metal in centre of frameBe wary of this going forward lad. Either move your cutlery to the side or make sure you have your jumper / hoody pulled up over your nose or resize images to ~1500px. If in doubt literally turn your full head away before pressing the camera button.There's plenty people here waiting to pounce on a single mistake.
>>216476019gook(the phone not you)
Everyone goes on about having chinky phones these days but when was the last time Aryans made a decent phone. And I don’t mean the iphone. Judeo-American nonsense that it is.
>>216476029alri james blonde
>>216476014imagine thinking anything you can do as a consumer will remove hardware level backdoors on chinese or western devices
>>216476026which is far healthier and more organic than the literal research chemicals you people douse on your doritos and breadblack pudding has plenty of iron, vitamins and minerals to keep you strong and healthy. perfectly natural food.
>>216476029worst that will come of it is a bit of banter calm down
What do racists have to say about this?genuine question
having a shitty day and just watched mystic river (2003) now my days even more shitty cause it was depressing good movie tho
>>216476071I'll add another 10p to your Xiomi botnet defender account
>>216476071check fuckin johnny english over here lmao
>>216475972Aaaaaalllll the wayyyyy
>>216476029easy inspector fagget
>>216476112>brown fella making friends with a squirrelTHATS IT! LET THEM ALL IN!
>>216476112Very nice but him and his grey can fuck off somewhere else
>>216476083Still worth it. You wouldn't believe how red it is, It's red times 40
>>216476043probably back when they had dials that you spin around with your finger
>>216476112fuck grey squirrels
finally unbanned for racismwhos the saddo who clipes on people
>>216475775can see your exposed penis in the reflection mate oh my days
>>216476112just makes you want to flood the country with 400,000 pakistani muslims doesn't it
>>216475427went to see this lad last year
>>216476127>johnny englishbetter than james bond
>>216476116i rewatched about time a few months ago and almost cried
>>216476170he's trans now??
>>216476071I think most people have accepted that, the ROM’s are mostly for debloating and removing all the adware crap
>>216476150You’re so hateful. What about making friends with the whole community
Rorke is getting absolutely rinsed here
>>216476170couldn't get away with that nowadays
>>216474909
>>216476212The KGB couldn’t have dreamed of such brainwashed people.
>>216476184yeah the performances were really good poor Dave ending was a bit weird though
I'm now wondering if I could pull of a successful New Trainers with a face reflected in a butter knife or a spoon. Difficulty though is you'd to either convincingly photoshop a rorkean face into an existing image of a plate + cutlery or find such an image in the wild online and submit it as your own. And it would need to be very high-res so the face in the spoon could be picked up by my intended victims of the New Trainers post (you lot). It's hard to get high-res images like that in the wild because any big website will usually compress them.I'll mull it over.
>>216476241did you think at 10 years old you would be spending your free time as a grown man typing this?
>>216476241moron
>>216476234Kek fuck up rorke Samir Zitouni saved innocent people from Anthony WilliamsDoesn't fit your narrative does it??
>>216476280my narrative is that i don’t want pakis in the country so it has no bearing on it
bloody rorkes coming in here bummin our fags
>>216476241understood and i'll keep a sharp eye out for it
>>216476232The pizza looked fucking delicious
>>216476280don't think leftypol wants to be playing the cherry picking game
take the L on this one rorke
>>216476241>pull of a successful New Trainerswut
leftypol doing a knee slide across his back garden in celebration of his own demographic replacement
>>216476313me when I'm helping rorke play hangman
>>216476293>>216476310You've been done rorke, take the L
time as we know it didn’t exist until the 10th century
>>216476235i think james spader in secretary might be the best acting i’ve ever seen. i need to watch it again to make sure
rorke is on the ropes
She hopes I'mCursed forever to sleep on a Twin size mattress in somebody's attic or basement my whole life
the bbc has systemic impartiality problems
apparently the only people who get anything right about me are the ones who don't need these tips in the first place (because they play in games of zero days and high budgets, and not accusing random people over 4chan)
sir east asia
it has come to my attention that rorke had you on the ropes playing fifa, and that you are a wasteman, a pagan, and a BENCHOD
https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/2129390/girl-raped-locked-toilet-morley-leedsleftypol shut your eyes!
rather drink a pint of arsehole slime or die of thirst?
>Man charged £4.3k to buy back his own flags council removed from lamp posts>Shaun Remmer, 49, has been told he will have to pay 36 for each new St George or Union Jack flag he erects in his home town of Thirsk, North YorkshireHAHAHAHAHAHAHA for fucks SAKE rorke can you go 5 minutes without embarrassing yourself??
ConverselyIf there was no one elseI would find a way to you Again and again
>>216476453dear diary:jackpot!
they shall no longer be known as immigrants. instead we shall call them heroes.
asked the fit emo girl who works at Tesco for her number yesterdayShe gave it to me but I've still yet to text her
hiding under the covers farting
>>216476530me when I'm about to become a legend in a Cadbury's product development meeting
>>216476538it's now or never do it you plonker
>>216476580Nah, also probably can't go to that Tesco ever again which is shit because it's the closest one.
lets get over the line shall we
sex should be illegal
>>216476601don't kick yourself later you idiot
come in rorkedo you read me rorke? over
+1 to my postcount
>>216476707that wouldnt make any difference to me anyway
would kill myself but cba with getting reincarnated and shit
give a man a fish and he'll eat fish for a day. Give him 7 fish and hell eat for a week. Give him 14? He'll eat for a fortnight.
sex should be mandatory
how about you reincarnate as a new thread
>>216476860doubt it mate. fish goes rotten really quickly
>>216476884ever heard of a freezer?
>>216476884not if you salt it
>>216476860and if you give him 28 he'll eat for a month but only if it's february
>>216476884that's when you put it on your cheese
>>216476891Don't think they had freezers back when this proverb was thought up.
you can lead a man to put his fish in one basket but a fish in the hand can't throw stones
>>216476719*radio static* Rorke here
>>216476891Man has a freezer but no food :' (
>>216476538You miss all of the chances you don’t take
we need to nationalise willies
there was a news story years ago about a guy who left a bowl of spag bol out on the kitchen counter 5 days then reheated it and ate ithe then died in his sleep due to the insane bacteria that had managed to grow in that time. Unclear why he thought 5 day old unrefridgerated spaghetti bolognese would be safe to eat.
this is november india golf golf echo romeo do you copy over
um lads the post count
>>216477103>>216477103>>216477103
you can tell the Tesco story is fake because you're not allowed to use your phone at work (I've worked there for 8 years)
wonder what the first aquarium was
