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.. juice levels: restored wearing my excellent glasses and virtual glasses try-on watching Escape to the Country on Really on TV in home ...

sharif don't like it

>>216499586
I second this

The opposite of what I want always happens so I might start hoping for the opposite so I get what I actually want if you follow me

I'm in Spain without the p

>>216499619
how old is tim now? i don't think he's as old as he looks is he?

>>216499660
take some paracetamol then

tf is in sain

male ejaculation grunts on my spotify release radar

Hate seeing wogs treating the supermarket like a wholesale filling their trolly up with every single lettuce for their sodding kebab shop

all a nigga knows

>>216499684
If you buy it at actual wholesale and, God forbid, even pay with card, you have to pay taxes on the kebabs sold.

want to lick that feet

>>216499696
Love a nice lentil soup. Pro tip, use a spoon of paprika to make it a more appetising colour, less brown.

Friends but Central Perk gets blown up by Muslims

kebab tax

Created a Reddit account to do a bit of trolling
I'm almost 30 btw

>>216499667
in his 50s i believe

>>216499738
Jews were complaining they took someone from too high up out (over epstein)

Thinking about all those Yanks who laughed at us for London having a Paki mayor

I'm Sadiq Khan without the p

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... tea time again and it's tea wearing my excellent glasses watching Salvage Hunters on Really on TV in home ...

mad how we all get fatter and balder each year and there's nothing we can do to stop it

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>Two undercover reporters, themselves Kurdish, posed as asylum seekers and were told how easy it would be for them to take over and run a shop and make big profits selling illegal vapes and cigarettes.

>We discovered Kurdish builders willing to help us conceal illegal vapes and cigarettes.

>One of our reporters posted that he had bought a mini-mart in Manchester and was looking for "a specialist to build a space to hide cigarettes in the shop".

>Six builders got in touch. One sent us a video of what looked like a vending machine for illegal cigarettes hidden in a loft, which, at the press of a button, pinged packets down a chute to a concealed vent below.

>It was "fine craftsmanship" and cost £6,000, the builder said, claiming it was guaranteed to fool Trading Standards' sniffer dogs.

reminder that if you pay full price for cigs in this country you're a fucking cleanshirt neek. If you're sound the brown man presses a special button and the tax-free cigs descend from a series of pneumatic tubes in the ceiling like a pez dispenser

same shopkeep also sells vapes to 14 year old white girls. He's not meant to but they come to an agreement. You voted for it so you can't complain.

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F

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>>216499765
i'm still laughing
i'm also laughing at nyc
all major cities are shit holes and deserve to fail

>>216499787
grimmers

>>216499787
wonder why they make him wear a nappy
he must have some form of incontinence

not grimmers and big lightbulb went off from that just now because of a medicine side effect

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Sir game player

>>216499792
Don't recall voting for this

>>216499819
fomyeg

>>216499823
can tell from the hair this was generated using the welsh choirboy image of big Kier

>>216499787
Crazy to think he probably rants about people on the internet talking about him

>>216499792
mental your IQ is 60 and youre a communist ]

>>216499787
does he browse the chans

>>216499792
mad how much work Reform have to do to fix this shit-hole.
Tories and Labour have left this place in a right state

why did rishi not manage to do anything? he was the one man in politics with nothing to lose if he actually tried to fix the country

what's so excellent about his glasses anyway

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send this to youer crush and post results, lads

>>216499862
>with nothing to lose
except his money making connections

>>216499839
if someone asked me about you people I would call you my literal enemies

>>216499862
tories and labour are parties of the status-quo. they want things like this.

>>216499862
He was a lame duck after Truss really wasn't he

>>216499862
refused to put the rhetoric aside and get around the negotiating table

>>216499870
he called me gay

>>216499792
>same shopkeep also sells vapes to 14 year old white girls. He's not meant to but they come to an agreement.
what does this part mean? that's just your fetish

>>216499862
little thing called the pandemic happened

heck yeah im tough enough

mad to think next year it will be perfectly legal to shag someone born in 2010

>>216499862
Democracy has never worked its like playing tug-of-war on a boat as it sails down current to its real destination

>um hello??
>oh sorry I was hoping it would go straight to answering machine if you want to hang up and let it go
>OK and who is this?
>its rorke
>oh OK ill let it go to answering machine
I love her

wish we had a zohran to vote for. would rorke right in his place

>>216499911
um

me if I'm a paki shop man:
hello this is the paki shop
>hellow please can I have a vape btw im 14
[punjabi mc starts playing]
*punches them through the wall*
say no to vaping u bloody benchod

>>216499792
>If you're sound the brown man presses a special button and the tax-free cigs descend from a series of pneumatic tubes in the ceiling like a pez dispenser
Bought these fags for a bit and they're fucking horrible, taste like death
They were bad enough in fact that I kicked regular smoking as a result

the law is the law buddy

Queen of Scots should have won

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it`s Ok !! ..

Sir Billi
Will save

the

Day !!

>>216499911
wtf how is time moving so fast
need it to slow down a bit :(

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... taken from my Fujifilm camera today using my smartphone as controller then imported using WiFi rather than physical disc switch ... it amuses me ... pictures of me in home ...

>>216499903
>Our research linked Mr Ahmad Ali to another man, Ismael Ahmedi Farzanda, who we found was a ghost director and responsible for 25 mini-marts.

>Mr Farzanda was fined £4,500 in August after one shop, registered in his name in Haslingden, Lancashire, was caught selling illegal vapes to a 14-year-old, according to local media reports.

>Surchi, a shopkeeper in Cheshire, Surchi sold vapes to a group of teenagers while we were at the shop. "I have customers that are 12 years old, I don't have any problem with them," he said.

my mistake it was 12 year old girls sorry. It's illegal to sell vapes to 12 year old girls but it's not a problem for Mr Surchi, he doesn't have any problem with them. An agreement is reached within the shop and the 12 year old girls leave some time later with vapes.

>>216499838
no its genuinely a default face in arc raiders

>>216499959
should of*
im trans by the way not sure that matters

>>216499972
>not showing both hands

>>216499973
>12 year olds addicted to vapes
I hate pakis as much as the next /brit/izen but grooming wouldn't be 5% the problem it is if people in this country were capable of parenting

>>216499792
>>216499903
>>216499973
leftypol turning a blind eye to this

>>216499972
Someone write a bot to post all his updates here. He's JUST LIKE US.

>>216499792
>>216499973
Kurds are fucking scum, nobody in the middle east likes them
They're like gypsies in that they're parasites wherever they go

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what would you do if you had nothing to lose

>>216499973
heathermong-esque post

can tell this image that is not related to politics is related to politics because I am obsessed with politics and who gets to fuck 12 year olds (jealous)

>>216500026
poo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_OIkuwEGtg
deano banging some 'netti in the whip

>>216500032
Well I'm sorry to hear you're obsessed with that lad you can always reach out to your doctor, help is available.

>>216500026
win

>>216500032
:/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnd4BR-CoJw

polshits really are a poo sword in the mental sparring opponents world. imagine engaging with those. imagine being those people

>Driver ploughs in to crowd of people on French holiday island injuring 10 'after shouting Allahu Akbar'
/fr/ is blaming us lot for this

right then

>>216500076
How's it our fault?

>>216500076
read the sticky

had a long daydream about what it would be like if i had a terminal illness and they brought my dog to visit me one last time

>>216500086
did you yeah?

Might have sex, thinking about it though

>>216500076
the traditional Trucks Of Peace are coming early this year

>>216500076
maybe "France" should go to the UK and drive through a street of people shouting it if "France" is mad with "us" you nobody

>>216500086
based. get these boring IMMIGRANT cunts out they are nigtier

when will the economic zone collapse

>>216500116
Replying to yourself is against the rules

216500086
216500116
lmfao BLATANT samefag

uh oh I think I see a post that violates US law

-1 to his SIM count

>>216500076
leftypol genuinely believes this an acceptable cost for having our grotty highstreets lined with the illegal vape shops and dodge barbershops he loves

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scran, as brits say

>>216500131
stfu mousenonce

>>216500126
>>216500131
A. no its not
B. whenyou die and you go see how cringe you were you will understand. also, obvious samefag from you based on what you are samefagging about and how you acted

again, imagine talking to these people. I am not going to - goodbye
p.s. you are an immigrant and 60IQ nigtier. like, fuck you you worthless reject

>>216500026
Don't really have anything to lose but I don't do anything

had a dream at night where a girl in a blindfold was having a lick on my willy

mousey wearing a miniskirt

>>216500152
>American cheese
>still in plastic, doesn't matter, tastes all the same
>soggy, undercooked chips
Not a proper scran I'm afraid.

>>216500158
LMFAOOOOoOoOO SEETHING

poc and women get the jobs while i suffer on the dole

150+ applications this year alone

it not right

leftypol believes if you give the biomass enough material wealth they'll turn into socially liberal atheists

Samefag confirmed after that fucking essay

>>216500166
yeah bet that was good wasn't it haha

>>216500196
samefag

>>216500184
I'm the original poster, you were wrong, mousenonce is just mental

rorke screaming and crying over zohran mamdani being elected even though he lives in his mum's council house in wigan and has never been to new york

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>>216500176
You could have a job in a supermarket by the weekend if you swallowed your pride. Then you could lever your position as an employed person to get a better job.

Instead you'll just do nothing because you think you're above working in a supermarket and when you get down to it, you don't really want to work anyway.

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>i-it not me but [literal seething essay]

>>216500198
why would rorke give a shit about yanks

Leftypol famously not having any opinions about American leaders

>>216500198
t. the only one mentioning yank politics for no reason

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>>216499594

>>216500158
oh my dayssss get a life outside of 4chan you incel twat

>>216500198
interested to see what happens there tbqh
hope theres riots and people start eating each other

reporting racismlad to the poowong constabulary

>>216500207
SCREAMING

>>216500193
please limit how much you talk to him (1-2 posts is fine thanks)
he got a "bite" and this is exactly what he wants. he will do all that he can here to keep you/this going because it is the highlight of his day. also do your duty and get pol to leave if you would like :)
thats all I wanted to say I just wanted to ask you to not give him more than enough posts

>>216500246
feminists btfo

>>216500241
man if I lived in Australia I'd definitely take a trip there, snap a few pics, would be laugh. There's probably nothing to do there but I'd be giggling the whole time seeing poowong this, poowong that. Surely it's worth a one hour drive?

Mad how successful 9/11 was, the lads are still winning

>>216500246
if that happened here leftypol would support the bears

>>216500248
shut the fuck up, mousenonce
you're right about /pol/posting not belonging here but you're such a spastic mentalist about it that you derail threads just as much

deary me

just one shotted the totem kommo-o with moonblast from primarina

one thing i miss about being a vtuber fan is that there's not really any politics over there. it's still shit, but at least i didn't have to read about immigrants all day every day.

Getting close to finally curing my phimosis lads. I can retract it over the head when flaccid. Anyone have any particular stretching advice? It's still a bit tight when erect.

>>216500246
Leftypol demanding we give them asylum in our cities

>>216500267
it is also funny that they get one little bite and go SEETHING SEETHING HURR SCREAMING ABOUT THIS RIGHTNOW THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER. what a boring shit life

>>216500267
leave mousey alone

>>216500246
Japanese Emu war.

>>216500284
shut the fuck up, mousenonce

how is buying tax-free cigs political?

If you just ignore problems they go away eventually

>>216500274
i hesitate to ask why you stopped being a vtuber fan

>>216500246
one mirrion troops

i hate being fat but im such a lazy greedy pleb. wish i had the guts to kms.

>>216500277
you using any creams?

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>listening to BBC Radio 4
>they're talking about how NHS staff and carers face horrible racial abuse and are entitled to refuse treatment to abusive latients and call the police on them
>alri fair enough
>advocacy group speaker gives an real life example of such abuse
>old lady at hospital got served cold tea and asked the nurse if they teach them to make tea in her home country

Get the foreskin stretched

mousefreak melty

>>216500306
you've got more than enough guts to kill yourself, just find a way to drop them on your fat face, you tubby cunt

Sir Phil Moses

>>216500277
what do you do when you get erections in the morning? does it hurt?

the machines are loud

if i could rearrange the alphabet i'd put me and u together

>>216500369
:)

>>216500317
No.
>>216500346
I don't get erections in the morning. I'm the lad who tried to see an escort and couldn't get erect.

I've got a lot of stuff to fix. I know that. I have to keep fucking going.
I want to have sex.

have to leave my curtains open so that my houseplants can get some light but the neighbours keep walking around outside and I swear they keep looking in at me on my computer in my dressing gown like an incel, FUCK OFF neighbours

mad how mild it is

>>216500302
got mental health from it didn't i

>>216500306
It’s because you are fighting a fleshly battle while your gluttony stems from the supernatural, you must pray to God that he takes away your desires while giving up on trying yourself.

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>>216500321
just become an utter lunatic that doesnt physically attack someone. the state wont know what to do with you and youll get £1500 a month plus rent for it. thats what timmy did and he lives like an absolute king.

everything is too expensive these days

>>216500385
no net curtains?

>>216500392
mad how he's going to die soon

My breath smells bad even though I brush and floss at least twice a day

>>216500408
get a tongue scraper

>>216500396
wanking remains free

>>216500404
no
I should get some tbqh, I hate my nosy fucking neighbours just standing there staring at me

>>216500389
honestly one of the most pathetic responses you could have given

>>216500418
I use one of those too and it doesn't seem to help
Same with mouth wash

are you a frequent masturbator, /brit/?

>>216500419
Need a VPN

>>216500446
you can just use tor

>>216500441
Did one first thing this morning.

>29
>virgin who couldn't get hard with an escort
>no friends
>phimosis which I'm working furiously to cure
>doing NoFap and No Porn to make myself get aroused when I see the escort again
I feel like I'm up against it lads.

might download hoi4
havent played it in years

>>216500470
tell the Samaritans not us

Need to fix my phimosis but I don't really know how
Got a tiny willy too

>>216500392
I still don't know what he did to his face and why he was in hospital in the first place

might filter the word escort if this mong doesnt shut up

>>216500470
why are you so needy?

>>216500325
womp womp

>>216500497
But then you'll miss out on the epic totally real conclusion to his story!

>>216500470
Why are you seeing an escort, fucking hell that sounds immensely grim and depressing.

>>216500497
erm what about all the innocuous posts about Ford Escorts though you wouldn't want to miss those

>>216500509
I'm not, I just have a lot of problems I need to fix.
I'm trying to turn things around.

Priority 1 is definitely my general sex issues.

>>216500486
I just assume the dentist finally got him and drilled a hole into his face

giant full moon tonight lads get excited

>>216500456
>we have to now call Turkey Türkiye but it's okay when foreigners call our country and cities different names

>>216500423
it's just the truth

In this house Guy Fawkes was a hero!

>>216500470
we know. you've told us again and again

>>216500526
It's just an illusion it's always the same size

>>216500515
Because without one I'll never lose my virginity. I don't have confidence.

>>216500369
gay ass mf

>>216500521
you're spamming /brit/ every day about it. you're desperate for attention you annoying gimp

>>216500526
I want to say that if it's a full moon in Aus then it can't be a full moon in the UK but I'll be honest I don't know enough about the mechanics of moon phases to say it with any conviction.

>>216500486
i think he fell and banged his face. but he kept picking the wound in hospital so he could stay in.

>>216500512
just realised its heatherpedo he cant hide his autistic stilted way of typing

>>216500547
how so?

I love driving in my Ford Escort car in my Uber job as I escort people around. I also fly a plane in the military that escorts other planes. I live an interesting life, one that you lads certainly would be foolish to miss out on as I continue to blog about my Uber driver job in my Ford Escort car while on weekends I escort planes in my own plane

am an atheist but i got respect for catholics
europe wouldn't be what it is without them
protestants are a stain

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This was good in Pokemon SM

Not calling it Turkiye
Not calling it Eswatini
Not calling it Cote d'Ivoire
Just not ok

>>216500549
Seeing an escort fixes fuck all, you won't even be able to tell people you're no longer a virgin because using a prostitute is seen as fucking grim. Having sex with someone you've paid for will do fuck all for your confidence, it'll probably make it worse because you'll think 'Nobody will have sex with me unless I pay them' you'll also realise how overhyped sex is and that you can feel fuck all with a condom on anyway when you finally have it, then will feel ashamed you used an escort. Sort your life out, I lost my virginity at 30 but wasn't as pathetic as you.

>>216500572
The moon doesn't change size it just appears to due to refraction of light through the earth's atmosphere

>>216500521
Tell the Samaritans
NOT US

>>216500547
me when I get out of a cold pool

>>216500590
>I lost my virginity at 30 but wasn't as pathetic as you.
How?

i have 23.8K carrots now
havent started the main story yet or 4 story events. hope I get some kitsune blacks so that I can get speed (currently I am using rented super creeks)

>>216500566
he had a tumour i think poor bloke

>>216500592
it gets bigger when comets and astroids get added to the dough and then smaller again when it spits bits back out

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someone needs to do this tonight

As a former virgin I would definitely recommend seeing a prozzard and just getting it out of the way

im quite left brained me

>>216500602
I didn't resort to using a prostitute, I didn't really care about it, and I didn't see sex as something that would changed my life or give me confidence. Having a girlfriend gives you confidence, shoving your cock in a fanny changes nothing..

>>216500592
woke nonsense

>>216500485
warm it up a bit first then blast it with the bidet on full power. i cant help you with the small willy problem though

egg and soldiers

>>216500587
you vill call the countries by their own special unique names

>>216500614
imagine being in a world right now where someone calls you fat to your face and instead of running away crying you take a picture of them

>>216500611
@gchq

>>216500610
>dough
Everyone knows it's made of cheese

>>216500614
would

>>216500652
nigga it will probably be them

*slithers out of the /brit/ undercroft*
right what's for luncheon then

>>216500634
Ok but idk how to get a gf.

We're whalers on the moon
We carry a harpoon

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>>216500456
>Lontoo

>>216500667
I've started skipping it and it's working

story mode chapter in my life unlocked, passed: starvation by the governmen starving me. story: the turnips in Ireland were the original jack-o-lanterns, made to scare away guy fawkes. they started to use pumpkins when t hey came to the USA. USAUSA
the gy fawkes plot is probably just the UK trying to erase more irish history

losing your virginity is an act of the soul

>>216500669
Dating apps, meetup groups, normie fad hobbies like running or bouldering. Shagging a prostitute will not mean you can now get a gf you utter mong.

>>216500692
Absolute fuckwit, what are you even doing here

>>216500614
wahey it's carrot top

>>216500688
hope you've had a filling 'kfast then

buying gf

>>216500692
losing your virginity is a cock in your 'shole

>>216500614
based
run to your destination fatty, you might just burn some of that bulk off

>>216500704
bit fucking mean mate

now I will give you some chocolate :3 bonbobon... *staring at the sky thinking man* ayaaaa!?

>>216500692
mad how i'll die a virgin kek

>Bouldering
Obvious bait

Halloween means hallowed eve

>>216500727
did you stop taking your meds or some shit

>>216500634
was your gf not a bit taken aback by a 30yo virge

>>216500728
same LMAO

lost my virginity at 34
currently 36 and married with a kid on the way, due February

>falls for it

https://youtu.be/cCLn94xi1LQ

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he fucked homo sapien women and you're saying you can't?

>>216500744
did she care when you told her

>>216500744
congrats, that's gonna be hard work on a (presumably) 2 year marriage, hope you guys are strong
t. married 6 years, have a 6 month old

you can not eat for a whole day and it won't affect you. most people are too cowardly to do this.

>>216500742
Wasn't bothered. I think it would only be an issue in a one night stand, so I'd recommend losing your virginity through a relationship if you're older.

>>216500762
he looks chill af

>>216500764
didn't tell her
never came up

>>216500764
>did she care when you told her
why would you ever tell a woman you are a virgin

>>216500744
lol im 36 and unmarried no kids and a virgin

why would I not eat for a whole day when I can eat

>>216500780
I was so shit I wouldn't have been able to hide it, finding the right hole is hard enough.

>>216500762
imagine how pooey his arse is

5 more oka sho banners then I can get potential level 4 (literally me)

there are loads of virgins here tonight

38 and still got plenty of time

>>216500485
if youve got a tiny willy why bother

>>216500780
>>216500786
for most people it's normal to bring up funny stories from your past. she'll know if you never do

me?
>virgin
>neet
>still living at home aged 29
>no friends since school
>don't leave the house
>too intelligent to be content with my life
>too lazy and cowardly to make changes

>>216500811
me when I'm MCing at a magic the gathering tournament

>>216500793
to prove you're not a coward

should be able to run 5k in a week but i will finish couch to 5k so i can do it comfortably

Male virgins have a virgin aura that cannot be removed without having sex. I've seen even the fattest, most aspergic lads lose their virgin aura overnight when they finally get a shag. They finally having that monkey off their back, knowing they no longer have to live in shame and fear of being asked about past sexual conquests. One girl, one shag is enough. They can now point to that truthful occasion where they really did have sex and it can be verified if required.

>>216500821
mate get out of your own head

>>216500829
right well I've already had some toast today so tomorrow I won't eat all day

>>216500844
me when I catch my friend attempting auto-fellatio

the uncanny valley effect suggests there was a time in our evolutionary history when it was important for your survival to fear things that looked human but weren't

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>>216500744

>>216500851
wahey

>>216500832
cap

>>216500744
This gives me hope :)

>>216500844
im just thinking of my parents. while no one wants to hear lured stories of their partners sexual exploits, it's perfectly normal for a dad to be like ' this one time i went out with this girl and blah blah she was crazy etc etc'.

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>India could send every country on earth 2 million Indians and still have a billion left over.

>>216500855
yeah we all know about jews, mate

>>216500855
yeah like black people LOL

>>216500850
i was just joking, you don't actually have to

>>216500855
It's just dead bodies

>>216500855
genetic defects being the obvious explanation, despite your wish for it to be spooky alien skinwalkers

>>216500871
You are extremely mentally ill

normal people never had to work on themselves to be normal. they just were. they just did things and lived life.

>>216500855
its about dead people/corpses

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>>216499594
Sybau :skull: :skull:

I want to play halo 2 but I can't T_T

there are loads of mentally ill lads here tonight

>>216500908
leave, normie

maybe it’s because there were so many different types of hominids back then and we all wanted to club each other on the head with sticks

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>>216500855
>it was important for your survival to fear things that looked human but weren't
still is

>>216500908
tim

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>>216500898
>too autistic to be a normie
>too normie to be an autist

me? I'm not abnormal at all. I'm just a different class of human. back in the day, I'd be one of the tribe druids or wise loners.

>>216500871
plenty of people that don't do this even if they have experience
get out of your own head

met this crazy dutch bird once. filthy she was. when i fingered her, she shit down my arm.

>>216500940
What are you today?

>>216500895
how? thats a normal conversation

>>216500930
this was me and then i went completely insane
doubt i could connect with another human being at this point lol

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>>216500881
>>216500928
oi none of that

>>216500949
lonely virgin freak failure

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>>216500958

He's too far gone

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_floresiensis

>>216500930
Ktim
Becoming more autist over time though I feel

Fucking FREAK you are an absolute fucking FREAK incel fucking CUNT I hate you so much UGLY SEXLESS loser, fuck off fuck off fuck off USELESS FUCKING CUNT, DIE!!!!

*camera pans out and the viewer sees Rorke is talking to himself in the mirror*

>no, raising all the umas potential levels is an impossible task and would take over 200 hours to do all of the R-SR umas
gatha

you lot should've done what I did and get into a relationship when you were 15 before the full-blown autism comes out and have her essentially teach you to feign norminess through your formative years

>>216500993
Please don't start with the spam again you already made 100s of these posts yesterday

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>>216500974

do normies still believe in climate change

>>216500946
they will know

>>216501010
Don't think they ever really cared desu

Get it unmade

got full blown autism me

>>216501010
Their programming is being primed to change any day now

>>216501010
sadly it conflicted with their need to go to shagaluf 3 times a year

>lad who hadnt had sex until 34 thinks his wife had no idea

delusional

>>216501010
I'm only concerned about climate as I love animals and despise browns (they will all come here when it escalates)

and the new, so to speak?

>>216501040
just happens when you have a bit of charisma like myself

>>216500956
It is not a necessary to tell your children about your sexual exploits actually it's bizarre to fantasize and get anxious about

my coworkers have no idea I'm a virge since I'm confident and have no problem talking to girls

>>216501040
Then there's me, who is met with poorly suppressed surprise when I mention having had girlfriends

>>216501019
maybe they will maybe they won't
you need not think about it

I was a virgin at 30 but my gf couldn't tell coz I've got shaggers genes that activated when my willy went in
It was like my ancestors were guiding me

>>216501073
they know